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Somebody give me creative reigns for a TV show. Picture this - Elvira and Dolly Parton starring side-by-side as twin sisters, both witches from humble roots. They’ve each lived wild lives independently and with a little huffy hostility towards each other, following different paths to become powerful enchantresses. As they reach old age, they realize the only thing they can’t replace with magic…. is family. 

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Go for it guys

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Please fire me. A lady came in screaming and ranting how we wrote an obscene insult on her sandwich. Turns out she ordered a BLT with cheese. We wrote Blt +ch on it. It took me and a manager 15 minutes just to calm her down enough to even listen to us.

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pasta fucks

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another lotr thing I think about a lot: Legolas, in Minas Tirith during ROTK, trying to explain to people what he knows about hobbits

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When will your friends ever

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He got her back!!!

[ID: Drawing of Barry, a pale skinned, middle aged man with dark brown hair, and Lup, a tan skinned, female elf with curly blonde hair and freckles. Barry wears a pair of glasses, a light blue shirt rolled up at the sleeves, and denim bluejeans. Lup wears a hot pink sleeveless dress. They are hugging each other warmly.”

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this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!

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my budgeting app is like “did you know you’ve shopped at panda express 3 times this month?” to roast me like YEAH. maybe i HAVE. maybe i go buy crab rangoons every time i fail an exam bc the girl who closes during the week always tells me she likes my HAIR and sometimes it’s NICE to have a little POSITIVE INTERACTION WITH A STRANGER. and i steal plastic FORKS from there. is that OKAY with you?

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Harry Potter AU in which Fred and George are in different houses and they steal and wear each others ties whilst doing stupid things in hope of the others house losing points

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nobody:

steam:

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What if Daft Punk never breaks up or dies they just hand off their helmets to really amazing musicians that continue making music for them and they just become these immortal beings that no one is really sure who they are anymore they’re just always there

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a waitress could slit my throat and I’d still tip 15% i dont know how her day’s been yknow?

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remember when jared leto absolutely terrorized his suicide squad castmates and turned himself into a laughing stock bc he misinterpreted what method acting is, only to have 7 minutes of screen time and be cut from most of the film’s promotional material? i know it was a while ago now but i dnt think anything more satisfying will happen in our lifetime

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Nobody remembers but season 3 confirmed that Parker knows no fear and sleeps in a bed that touches zero walls