im literally just a girldown bad for fluff cabin matt enthusiast
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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HOWVE U BEEN POOKIE
oh golly i have to get on more 😔😔
IM GOOD JUST HAD A MASSIVE HISTORY QUIZ THO ☹️☹️
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OMG HI JESS 😻😻😻
HEY JEELLY 🙈🙈🙈
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🚂❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️ it’s a love train! Send this to all of the blogs you love! Don’t forget to spread love! 💗
i love u jelyyyy 🙈🙈🙈
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jess i miss u r u still active
i missed u too bb 💔💔💔
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UGH LUCKY I WANT CHIPOTLE
heheeh 🙈
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doordash me taco bell ivwant a burrito (my way of saying i miss u)
chat i just spent my miney on chipotle 😔😔 (imyt jelly)
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its the cold weather guys.. 😞💔 i have the qorst cough everrr. its good to hear ur good tho!!!!
rahh i hope the leaves fall faster guys ☹️ hope you get better baby 💞
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omg im so sorry i highkey forgot to respond but MY WEEK WAS GOOD IM sick thoo :((( HOW R U??
WHY IS EVERYONE SICKK? i was sick monday vro 😕 im so glad your weeks been good sweetie ! im great 💞💞
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jESS I MISS U BESTFRUEND 🙏
I MISSED YOU TOO SWEETIE 💕 HOW WAS YOUR WEEK?
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NESSA BARRETT
NESSA BARRETT X F!READER
warnings: angst, kind of a fwb vibe, no happy ending.. that’s it (i think)!
wc: 1,543
a/n: requested! gif creds to sweetfridays !! - honestly, this is the first thing i thought of when i read the request (since the plot wasn’t specified) & i lovee dramatic breakups and old movies and it made me think of that :))
SYNOPSIS: She wasn’t looking for love.
“You.. You can’t just leave!”
Heels click against the floor as you hastily follow behind your girlfriend - or, ex? Ridding yourself of the fleeting thought, you can feel the way your throat closes up with sharp intakes of air. It didn’t have to end like this - how did this even happen?
Black hair shines as her head shakes, her feet leading her outside and onto the pavement. “Watch me.” Nessa mumbles, her voice raspy from the overwhelming emotion that consumes her. The cool breeze passing through the night made goosebumps raise on your already cold skin. To say you were scared was an understatement - were you going to lose Nessa?
“Baby, talk to me!” You exclaim, your hands stretch out in front of you as you plead. I’m right here, they say. I’m laid out for you. “We can fix this, just.. please.” You all but beg, eyes becoming glassy as you watch her from behind, quick strides of her feet trying to get away from you.
Nessa swallows dryly, exhaling shakily. She had immediately picked up on the wobble in your voice, knowing how vulnerable you were being to her right now. She knew that you were on the verge of tears.. but hers were already falling. The girl sniffles as she harshly wipes away a few tears that had fallen, her back still to you.
Your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest.
Everything was wrong, it shouldn’t have to end like this. It wasn’t supposed to - it wasn’t supposed to end at all. Nessa was supposed to be with you forever, to love and care for you as you did for her. To have dinner together, to take showers and watch tv. To lay in bed together, to listen to her new music together, to take care of her cat. All of this was wrong.
“Ness, look at me.. please.” You whisper, a fateful tear cascading along your cheek. By now, you’ve stopped trying to follow her, residing on the sidewalk as you try to calm your breathing. You hated the way a spark of hope flickered inside you when she listened.
Nessa turns to face you, a neutral expression overtaking her, despite the black makeup dripping down her cheeks. The sight alone made your shoulders fall, a piece of your heart drying out and fading away. How could she still look so beautiful, even in tears? She always had a way to make you breathless.
It was like something in the universe had known of your predicament, the weather seeming to adjust to your current feelings. It started off slow and gentle before the rain picked up, soaking you and Nessa as you both stand a few feet apart on the sidewalk. You’d be dead before you even thought about walking away from this, even for shelter from the harsh weather. If you were honest, not one part of you was thinking about how your hair was becoming knotted with the water and how your clothes were beginning to stick uncomfortably to your body - all that consumed you was Nessa. You didn’t care about anything else. Maybe that was the problem.
“This wasn’t supposed to go this far.” Her voice was small, but you heard it. You definitely heard it.
It was as if you could feel your own legs giving out beneath you. Your body felt weightless, as if you could hear every little intake of breath from your lips or the way distant sirens just barely echoed off the walls of the buildings around you. Otherwise, it was silent.. utterly silent.
“What do you mean?” You try your best to keep your voice steady, but it cracks at the end of your question. How could it not? You were so confused, what could she possibly have meant by that? Was this ever even supposed to happen? Did she not love you the way you love her?
Nessa sniffles again before averting her gaze. She couldn’t even look you in the eye - how was that fair? She blurted that out and now she can’t even look at you?
“This.. fuck,” she chokes out, bringing her hands up to her face for a second before letting them fall back down to her sides. “I - when we.. got together, I didn’t want this to go past just.. what we already had.” Nessa tries to explain, her soft voice shaking. The both of you had yet to move from your spots on the pavement, either too scared to move incase one of you were to run away or yell - neither of you knew.
“Y/N, I.. can’t love you.”
Shattered. Everything was broken.
Your heart, your friendship, your happiness. It was all gone.. just because she couldn’t fall in love. You’ve never given her reason to believe that you’d break her heart, you knew that. Not one night had you declined her invitations, too high on the drug that was Nessa. She’s always been yours, no matter if it were spoken or not. Always.. what changed?
Before you could respond, Nessa parts her lips again to speak. It was obvious you were stunned, too speechless to even try and use your words.
“I wasn’t looking for love - ”
“I never asked you for it!”
You resented the way a flicker of utter irritation washed over you at her words. Not once had you felt such anger towards Nessa before - how could you? She was the sweetest person you’ve ever met, someone you’d be foolish to not fall in love with. But here you are.. with the consequences of doing such a thing.
Tears fell from your eyes unwillingly, though you knew they wouldn’t be stopping anytime soon. You hated being so vulnerable, especially in front of the one person who felt like betrayed you. A part of you knew that you shouldn’t feel that way, though deeper inside, you blamed yourself for this. You had agreed to her undisclosed terms, too greedy for her touch and closeness, not thinking of how attached you’d grow to it. Now - you knew - you’d long for the way her hands feel on you, tired and cold at night as you’re plagued with the haunting memories of Nessa so indulged in you.
Now you were to fall asleep alone.
You knew your words weren’t true. Technically, you hadn’t asked for it.. but you knew you wanted it - craved it. You needed her for yourself, despite the nonverbal agreement that you and Nessa weren’t admittedly together. And that thought killed you because, despite it being true, you had went day after day trying to convince yourself that it wasn’t. That you and Nessa were together, and that she just liked to keep things private - that she made you sneak out the backdoor after a long night because of paparazzi or someone finding something out. But, deep down, you knew that wasn’t the case. You knew.
With a soft sigh of your name, Nessa anxiously runs a hand through her hair. It was easy for her to pick up on your body language or the way you spoke with a certain tone in your voice; another reason why she’d be so good for you -
“We can’t do this.” She whispers, as if it was some secret - something wrong and bad. Like she was ashamed.
“Why?” You exclaim, unable to hold it back. Tears freely fall, but - by now - you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Your feet move before your brain as you take fast steps towards her small frame, though she doesn’t move. It was like she knew this was going to happen. “Why not? Nessa, we’d be so good together.” You cry, bottom lip involuntarily trembling as you look at her with the most pitiful - beautiful, in Nessa’s eyes - expression she’s ever seen before.
“We have fun! I help you with your music, we.. we watch our shows together, I hold you when you cry - ” a sob of your own cuts you off. Nessa’s heart tears to pieces. “You can’t do this, please.” You beg. “Please, not us.” You whimper, shaking your head. Your eyes follow the tear that travels down her cheek.
Nessa’s hands reach up and cup your cheeks gently in her palms, locking eyes with you. “I never meant to hurt you.” She says softly, the same rasp from earlier coming back, telling you that she was holding back her own emotions. “I’m sorry it ended like this.” Ended?
She leans forward, tilting her head up to press a kiss to your forehead. So many times had her plump lips touched other places on you, but never had they felt this devastating.
As she pulls away, her eyes meet yours before she walks away down the sidewalk. You’re left there, standing and soaked with the rain as you watch her fleeting form. How bad you wanted to run and catch her, to stop her and kiss her, to make up for everything. But there was nothing else you could do besides stay and watch her leave.
Her kiss on your forehead was all you had left of her.
tags: @tan1shere @loving1dsworld @marvelwomenarehot0 @strnilolover @luv-sturno @pr3ttyf4wn
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guys.
NESSA BARRETT
NESSA BARRETT X F!READER
warnings: SMUT, softdom!nessa/sub!reader, fingering (in a car)
wc: 2,090
a/n: gif creds to sweetfridays !! - requested! so im not sure who’ll see this (since majority of my followers dont read my ness fics lol) but recently ive been thinking about deleting my acc (not confirmed yet obvi since im literally posting this LMAO) but i just wanted to give you guys a heads up! that’s it lol love youu <3
DIRTY LITTLE SECRET TONIGHTTT 🗣️🗣️
SYNOPSIS: You’re Nessa’s passenger princess..
Every time you got in your girlfriend’s car, she never let you drive.
At first, you had been confused - did she not like when you drove? Was there something you were doing wrong? But as time went by, you realized why: Nessa loved having you as her passenger princess.
So, here you were - as usual - in the passenger seat of her car.
It was a Friday night and you and Nessa had planned a date night earlier that week. Ultimately, she had surprised you by reserving a table at a new restaurant that had moved in a few streets over. Despite it being expensive - and you telling her numerous times to not spend such money on you - Nessa didn’t care as long as it was for you; everything was for you.
Lying around as you wait for your girlfriend to pull into your apartment’s parking lot, you let the sound of your tv invade the otherwise silent space. Scrolling through your phone, you impatient wait for a text from her telling you she was here.
As if she knew, your phone pinged.
From: ness 🤍
here ;)
Your lips curl up at the message. Liking it, you leave it as a reply before shutting your phone off and getting up from your couch. Turning off the television, you make your way out of your apartment and down to the parking garage, in search for the girl waiting for you.
Once you notice her car, a smile spreads on your lips as you see her inside. A small, red dress lays on her body, though you’re unable to see the full thing with her sitting in the driver’s side. Her black hair sits on her shoulders, some strands curling down past her collarbones. God, she was breathtaking.. and all she was doing was sitting there.
When you rounded the car, the movement caught Nessa’s attention. She looked up, her eyes lighting up as she saw you walk closer. Plump lips curled up as she watched you.
Curling your fingers around the handle of the car door, you swing it open before seating yourself inside. Once the door shuts behind you, you glance over at your girlfriend. With her phone now in her lap, her left hand rests on the bottom of the wheel as she looks at you.
“You look beautiful, princess.” Nessa hums, smirking as her light eyes look you over. You can’t help the way your body heats up at her words and intense gaze, shifting slightly in your seat.
“Thank you.” You mumble, meeting her eyes. “So do you.” You add, your smile matching hers as her grin grows wider. Nessa reaches her hand over to gently grab yours, bringing it up to her lips and pressing a soft kiss on the back of it. Your face heats up the simple action before she squeezes it and lets it rest back in your lap.
The car rumbles to life as she turns it on, the radio blaring through the silence. Buckling yourself in, you relax back in the chair as Nessa pulls out of the parking lot and onto the main road. Your attention gets pulled by the scenery flowing by, the slight crack of the window open letting the breeze pass by. With the sun setting, street lights illuminate the road, as well as from people’s houses.
Your breath hitches softly as soon as you feel a cold hand slither along your thigh. Glancing down, acrylics tease your skin as your heartbeat picks up slightly. Sparing a look at Nessa, you notice her still looking forward, but the small smirk on her face doesn’t conceal her true feelings. She was doing this on purpose - she was always one for teasing.
“Ness,” you mumble, leaning back in your seat again, trying not to let the butterflies in your stomach get to you. She hums, but doesn’t verbally reply. But as soon as she squeezes your thigh softly, your fingers twitch as they grip the seat underneath you. “Don’t tease.” You exhale shakily, jaw clenching as you swallow dryly.
Nessa lets out a soft chuckle, that sinful smile appearing on her red-kissed lips. She was so appealing - it was almost unhealthy for you. Not once do you go a day without thinking of her, in any sense of the word. Despite her being your girlfriend, the amount of times just the thought of her distracts you shouldn’t be allowed.
“M’not teasing, baby.” She says, purposely swirling her middle and ring finger on the inside of your thigh, underneath your skirt. Inhaling a deep breath, you lick your lips as you try to recover from her obvious teasing (even though she denies it).
Subconsciously you bite at your bottom lip, focused again on the trees and houses flying by as your girlfriend drove to the restaurant. Too distracted, you didn’t realize when a red light flashes and the car stops at it. Your eyes widen slightly as soon as fingers curl around your chin, turning your head to face the girl beside you. Nessa smiles at you, her lips closed as her thumb pulls at your bottom lip, freeing it from the rough clamp of your teeth on it.
“Don’t hurt yourself.” She coos, gently swiping over your lip, as if trying to soothe the soft pillow. Your eyes can’t stop themselves from darting to her lips before moving back up to her piercing eyes. As if in a trance, you nod at her words, complying. Nessa giggles quietly, the right side of her lips curling up as she hums. “Good girl.” Her thumb taps your lips before moving her hands back to the steering wheel as the light just so happens to turn green.
Her praise makes an involuntary shiver go through you as your thighs loosen. You hadn’t even realized you were clenching them together until she pulled away from you. You knew that Nessa was aware the effect she had on you, but you let her play her game (not that you had a say in it anyway).
The song on the radio changes as Nessa presses on the gas. Her hand gravitates back to your thigh as if on instinct. Though, this time, her fingers inch up closer to where you truly need them. Huffing in a breath at the sudden contact, your lips part once her thumb presses against your clit through the thin fabric of your panties. Your hand instinctively grips at her arm, breathing picking up as seconds go by.
Nessa chuckles, licking over her teeth. “You’re already so wet, Y/N.” She teases, gliding her middle finger along you through the fabric. You let out a quiet whine, your back arched against the seat as you impatiently wait for her to do more than just graze where you need her most. “So needy.” She hums mockingly.
Despite her taunting, she curls her manicured nail around your panties and hooks them to the side to give her better access. An involuntarily gasp leaves your lips as her finger gathers your wetness, turning your head to watch her. Nessa was still looking forward, focused on the road and other cars, though a part of you felt greedy for her attention - you needed it; craved it.
She’s so beautiful - even just from the side. Her lips pout out as she allows a car to turn out of the parking lot it resides in, her eyes hypnotizing as she stares forward, her nose poking forward, the sight only seeming to add to your lust in the moment. Her hair sits perfectly, silky strands along her shoulders as it blows slightly from the wind passing by.
“Please,” you whisper, rolling your hips up against her fingers. How she was so focused on the road all while touching you so intimately you’ll never know. Your eyes watch the way her plump lips turn up at your plead. Nessa glances over at you, her heart beating out of her chest as she takes in the look of you so needy, slouched back in the passenger seat, begging for her.
How could she say no to that?
Without a word, Nessa plunges her middle finger inside you. A sharp gasp leaves you, your nails digging into the soft skin of her wrist. She lets out another quiet chuckle before looking back at the road ahead of her. “Can you take another?” She mocks - you can, she knows that. With a fervent nod in response, Nessa forces her ring finger to join her middle inside you. A breathy moan emits from your throat as your eyes flutter shut, the curl of her fingers inside you hitting that perfect spot.
“Does that feel good, princess?” Princess - Nessa loved calling you that.. for obvious reasons. It always sent a wave of heat down your body, only adding to the need swarming inside you.
You nod instantly, your hair scratching against the back of the seat at the action. Pants leave your lips, a moan emitting from your mouth as you rut your hips in time with her fingers’ thrusts. Her thumb moves up, pressing teasing circles along your clit. The movement only adds to your pleasure as a throaty moan leaves you, your back arching against the seat. This was so wrong, doing this in her car while she drives - if anything, it was illegal. But, god, not one part of you cared in that moment, too high off of the feeling of her feverish fingers plunging inside you.
“Words, sweetheart.” Nessa hums, the gesture of her thumb adding pressure on your most sensitive spot. You stammer at first, licking your now dry lips as you take in a shaky breath.
“Yes.. s’good, Ness.” You huff out, blinking your eyes open as you look over at her. She has her bottom lip between her teeth as she spares a look to you, lust evident in her expression. Her thighs were tense beneath the steering wheel, a visible line showing off her clenched jaw. Fuck, the sight only got you off more - the pure desire on her face making another swarm of butterflies invade your stomach.
Without thinking too much about it, you lean over, connecting your lips with her neck. Despite being blinded by pleasure, you knew not to outright kiss her as she drove. Wet kisses are placed on her neck as you mouth at her skin, too lost in euphoria to properly pepper them along her. Moans mix into her skin as Nessa’s fingers only seem to quicken inside you, curling into that spot that makes your thighs shake.
“Close?” She coos. Nodding in response, a whimpered reply elicits from your lips. Nessa hums before the sound of the radio grows louder, her foot on the gas pedal pressing down harder. The adrenaline of the situation hits you all at once, that knot in your stomach tightening more and more as seconds went by. “Look at me when you cum for me.” She tells you.
Fuck yes.
With a shaky breath, your lips part as you lean your head back, watching her side profile. Your thighs quiver as the band inside you breaks, a harsh moan mixing with the music as you clamp tightly around her constant moving fingers. Nessa nods slowly as you reach the peak of euphoria, a glance of her green eyes looking you over as you come undone on her fingers.
“Good girl,” She draws out, helping you through your orgasm. With a heavy breath, you fall limp in the passenger seat, eyes shut. A whimper leaves you as she slowly, but gently, discards her fingers from you.
The car hits a bump as Nessa turns, pulling into the parking lot of the restaurant she had reserved a table at. Still recovering from the pleasure, you don’t move, but your eyes flutter open. Licking your dry lips, you’re slowly regaining your even breathing as you glance over at your girlfriend beside you.
As Nessa parks, she turns her head to lock eyes with you as she brings her hand up to her lips. Enveloping the fingers that were previously inside you in her mouth makes your own lips part as your breathing immediately falls out of line again. Her blood red lips from the lipstick she added earlier curls up sinfully at your reaction, sucking on the evidence of your arousal before pulling them back out.
“Let’s go eat, princess. We’ll have dessert at my house.”
tags!: @tan1shere @loving1dsworld @strnilolover @luv-sturno @pr3ttyf4wn
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omg game theory ily ur so cool
STOP I FORGOT TO ANSWEJRHSJJ
i love game theory guys.
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guys ive been watching sinjin drowning for 2 days i think i need a break 😽
HELP IDK HOW LONG THIS HAS BEEN IN THE ASKS IM SORRY SWEETIE 😞😞
anyway this is literally me with game theory/film theory
(i love sinjin drowning)
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BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD! once you are given this award you're supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 people who deserve it. if you break the chain nothing happens, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you're beautiful inside and out 💜🦋
AHH I COMPLETELY MISSED THIS ASK OMGGG
ILYYY 💕💕💕
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OKAYY WAIT THAT SOUNDS FUN AFFFF im happy u had fun sweet girl !!!!!
stop ily 👅👅
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AHH
MATT STURNIOLO
HUSBAND!MATT STURNIOLO X F!WIFE!READER
warnings: this is a complete au - like no youtube, no brothers, no nothing btw!! toxic relationship (like insane), pure obsession - this is all fiction ofc!! id add more warnings to make that statement more understandable, but then it’d give everything away lol (the song is Important!!)
guys this is genuinely like insane so be warned LMAO (ALL FICTION!! remember that)
wc: 2,431
a/n: gif creds to @mattsturnioloarchive !! guys i actually cant like i love luvcat so bad (i have a draft of their other song Matador but it isnt finished yet </3) - the song is basically the plot so i definitely recommend listening to it!!
SYNOPSIS: Your husband has been and always will be yours.. forever.
Matthew was yours.. it was obvious.
Ever since you both have gotten married, your feelings towards him have only seemed to heighten. He was always there for you, he was at his happiest when with you. Everyone knew that. At least, that’s what you believed.
On the days Matt needed to attend work were your most boring ones. It might’ve been pathetic to depend on someone so heavily, but, truly, that was the least of your worries. As you lie on your shared bed, your eyes carefully watch the ceiling fan spin around and around and around..
Sitting up instantly once the sound of the front door clicking open echoes through the house, your lips curl up.
Matt was home.
Dashing out of the room, you lean against the wall as you watch your husband sluggishly set down his briefcase, readjusting the black-framed glasses atop his nose. He looks up from the floor and meets your gaze, a soft smile appearing on his pink lips. He licks them before slowly making his way over to you. “Missed you.” Matt mumbles, wrapping his arms around your waist as he leans forward to hide his nose into your neck.
A quiet chuckle leaves you at the affection. Instinctively, your arms round his shoulders as you hug him closer to you. He was so intoxicating.. he was yours.. yours, yours, yours.
Inhaling as your eyes flutter shut, you relish in the smell of him. A mix of his natural scent and the lingering cologne that he had sprayed on that morning filled your nose, relaxing you further. Your hand mindlessly brushes through the back of his hair, eliciting a soft hum from the man. Just the sound alone made a wave of satisfaction wash over you. He needed you.. needed you, needed you, needed you.
“You need me.” It wafts from your lips like a breeze, blowing away before anyone could hear. Your arms subconsciously tighten around him, eyes opening as you stare forward at the wall a few feet from you.
“Hm?” Matt hums, pulling back slightly. With a shake of your head in response, you let your hands glide down his arms. His eyes possess such love, it was sinful. Wandering eyes meet his as you take him in, forever greedy for his attention. He was a drug to you; something you needed to keep you going, to keep with you forever.
“I made you dinner.” You say, though it was routine by now. You walk towards the kitchen, taking the already made plate out of the microwave where you had kept it warm. You’ve memorized his schedule by now, so you made his food in the perfect time he’d come home to eat it. Besides, it wasn’t like he could say no to you.
You watch the way his lips quiver slightly - as if not enjoying the thought of eating your meal. The gesture was barely noticeable, but you caught it - to you, it was clear. No, this wasn’t right. He’s yours - Matt’s yours. He’d do anything for you.
“Thanks, sweetheart.” Matt utters softly, fixing his glasses again before taking a seat at the dinner table. You watch him carefully, studying his body language. With a curt hum and nod, you place the dish in front of him. The bottom of the chair scratches against the floor as you pull it out from under the table. Sitting down, your eyes never leave Matt.
“How was your day?” You ask - routine. Matt lets out an exhale as he picks up his fork, stabbing at the food on his plate before bringing it up to his lips. Your eyes stay on him, needing to see anything he does. You’ve come to terms with the fact his love for you will never equal to yours. You’re obsessed; utterly, truly obsessed. Maybe it was unhealthy, but you didn’t care - you had Matt, what were you to complain about?
Matt swallows, small marks along his lips appearing before going away again. “S’fine.” He murmurs, keeping his gaze on his plate. It was often his mood would switch like this. Coming home, he’s all over you. But now, as he sits and eats your food, Matt acts as if he was being forced to do so. He wasn’t. He wasn’t being forced, you’d never do that. You’d never force -
“Yours?”
You blink. “It was okay.” You reply. You subconsciously pick at your nails as you look at him. “Boring without you.” You add. Your stomach swarms with butterflies as your eyes catch the slight shift of his lips, the ends of them turning up a little. Did he like the thought of you missing him? Noted.
“Um, I was talking to Josh today,” Matt begins, trying to start conversation (maybe to distract you from the way his fork swirls his food around, not eating it - it was obvious). You tilt your head, keeping silent as you let him continue. “He reminded me of my break coming up next week and I thought, maybe, we could go somewhere?” He suggests, glancing over at you. Finally, he’s looking at you. His words make a smile spread on your lips, a warmth spreading through your chest.
“I’d love that, Matt.” You coo, nodding. God, you bathed in the way a soft smile curls on his pink lips. It was addicting. It reminded you of the way he used to smile and giggle at certain things you both would talk about years ago when you had started dating. Oh, how you wish you could bottle those memories up and keep them forever. Forever, forever, forever..
“Good. It’d be nice to.. get away for a bit.” Matt nods, seemingly picking his words carefully. Your eyes glance him over before nodding. You lick over your teeth, swallowing heavily. You inhale deeply, sitting up as you stare at him. Matt notices the change, but doesn’t speak on it. Sometimes it’s better when he kept his mouth shut.
“Finish your food.”
By the time the night had rolled around, you decided to take a shower. Too many thoughts were consuming you - too many, too many.
A soft exhale left you as you step under the warm stream of the water. Shutting your eyes, you let it flow along your body, relaxing your tense limbs. Though, it doesn’t wash away your thoughts - as much as you wish it did. Jumping slightly once you hear the door squeak, your head snaps over to the direction as you wipe the water from your eyes.
“Can I join you?” Matt’s voice sounds above the running water. His figure was distorted through the glass wall, but you nod. He seems to understand as he strips himself from his clothes, glasses already off for the night. As he slides the cold door open, he quickly slots behind you. It wasn’t rare, occurrences like this - but it wasn’t as often as you’d like.
With him beside you, you couldn’t help but notice the way he seems thinner than before. You’ve made him dinner, you’ve kept him fed.. he had no reason to be getting skinnier? Your hand reaches out and gently rests on his stomach, light goosebumps on his skin from being partly out of the warm water, the cold air contrasting it. Your eyes meet his once his large palms cup your cheeks, making you look at him.
“What’s wrong?” Matt coos, his thumb gently caresses your cheekbone. A pit deepens in your stomach at his question. What were you to tell him?
You smile softly. “Nothing.”
That night, you were woken up by the way Matt thrashed against the sheets. Your eyes flutter open as you squint, not yet used to the darkness in the room. You turn on your opposing side, instantly sitting up once you notice the way your husband’s face scrunches up in his sleep, head moving against his soft pillow. Quiet whispers - pleas - of “no, no, no,” fall from his perfect lips. What was he dreaming about?
Your hand gently holds his arm as you softly shake him awake. “Matt.. Matt,” you murmur quietly, not wanting to startle him even more. “Baby, wake up.” You whisper, tightening your grip on his bicep before his eyes snap open. “Hey, hey, relax. It’s alright.” You coo, wrapping your arm around his shoulders to help him lean on you. He lets out a shaky exhale and hesitates at first (an action you were quick to take note of), before he wraps himself in to you, hiding his face in your neck. “What were you dreamin’ about?” You whisper, brushing your fingers through his hair soothingly.
Matt shivered, his nose tickling your skin as he digs his face in further - as if trying to hide in your skin. “C.. Couldn’t leave.” He stammers quietly, voice cutting out either from the memory or from him just waking up. Either way, that was all you could get out of him. Couldn’t leave? Couldn’t leave what? Leave.. leave.. leave..
When you had woken up the next morning, you were alone.
He was just at work. He was at work - Matt was at work.
Your day carried on, occupied with watching the washing machine spin and spin and spin.. until the front door chimes as Matt comes home. Like the day before that, and the day before that, and the day before that..
Getting up from your crouched position in front of the machine, your dress straightens out. You decided that today was the day - it was perfect. With that, you also dressed up for the occasion. A nice, long dress sits on you, the light clacking of your heels against the floorboards echoing through the house. You’d done yourself up; you needed this to be special.
“Why’re you so dressed up?” Was the first thing that came out of Matt’s mouth. You quickly dismiss it, waving your hand. The repetitive sound of his briefcase being placed on the floor hits your ears. It was routine, of course.
“No reason.” You reply, glancing over at the kitchen before locking eyes with him again. You notice the way he blinks several times, something clearly bothering him. “Are you okay, honey?” You ask, brows furrowed in concern as you watch him.
Matt shakes his head, rubbing his blue eyes to try and clear his vision. “Yeah, ‘m’fine.” He mumbles. “Just blurry.” He adds. You hum and nod, the skin around his eyes turning a light shade of red from the irritation of his fingers rubbing against it.
“I made you some tea.” You say, moving to the kitchen counter as you pour some into a small glass. “Just relax, sweetheart.” You coo, gliding your hand along his back as you gently bring him to the dinner table again. As soon as he sits, you place the cup in front of him. Your ears immediately pick up the soft, shaky sigh that leaves your husband’s lips. He reaches forward and hooks his finger through the small loop, bringing it up to his mouth. It wasn’t like he could say no to you.. he couldn’t, he couldn’t, couldn’t.
“How was your day?” Praxis.
Matt falters, face scrunching slightly as he blinks. Your head tilts slightly as you watch him, standing before his sitting form. Blue eyes become hidden from his eyelids as he blinks slowly, the glass from his hand slipping as it falls to the floor. The sharp sound reverberates through the room, though you keep your stance.
“Wha.. what was in that?” Matt slurs, hands grasping at the table weakly. He tries to push himself up, standing on shaky legs. His chest heaves as he looks over at you. Every action of his seemed like it took all of his strength as his chipped nails dig into the wood of the dinner table. He inhales a deep, loud breath as he tries to regain his breathing, though it only seems to deplete the more he tried.
“It’s okay, Matt.” You coo softly, walking closer to him. The sound of your heels ring in his ears as he grimaces, body hunched over as he breathes quiveringly. “It’s just us.. forever.” You exhale, lips curling up as you cup his cheeks. Drooping eyes meet yours as the white in his seem to become discolored, a faint red showcasing the irritation happening. His lips are parted as he heaves, hands now located on your hips as he fingers harshly dig in to your skin through your dress.
Matt shakes his head - well, as much as he can with such weak movements. He lets out a choked sound, a dry swallow following. “No.. no,” he mumbles. “Can’t leave.” He whispers, his words from last night repeating in your head. Your jaw clenches as your hands glide back, wrapping your arms around Matt’s shoulders.
“Shh, baby,” you murmur, slowly starting to move. The movements were slow, not correlated. You hum softly, eyes fluttering shut as you take gentle steps with Matt. The sound of music begins as it takes over your mind, adding to the poetic scenery.
Hand in hand, you dance with him as you take slow, deliberate steps. You hum along, shoes clicking against the floor as you move with the remaining life of your husband. You didn’t care for the sounds of the washing machine anymore, or the ceiling fan - or Matt’s head aches, or his dreams. He’s happiest with you.. with you, with you..
“No one will love you like I do.” The whisper falls from your lips quietly, but it rings in Matt’s ears. You inhale deeply, soaking in the situation as you spend the last few minutes with your husband. “You’re my man.” My man, my man.. mine, mine..
“You wanted to go somewhere, Matt.” You say, still slow dancing with him. His body, though clinging to you, only weakens as minutes pass by. “I’ll take you there.” You lean forward, pressing your forehead to his. “It’s just us.. just us. Forever.” You whisper, lips curling up.
“Forever.” Matt breathes, his grasp on you slowly loosening.
Your grin widens as you nod. The music increases, louder and louder as Matt begins to fall. You follow with him, keeping your arms around him as he collapses. “To hell and back.” You promise, leaning down to press a soft kiss to his forehead.
As his head rolls to the side, eyes still open, the music fades. It’s done - over. He’s with you forever.. forever, forever.
“Me and my man.”
tags!: @chrissv4mp @mattybsgroupie @emotionalblues @jetaimevous @sturnobsessedwh0re @fratboychrisera @witchofthehour @lizzymacdonald06 @mattslolita @little-miss-shay @mattsdirtylittlehoe @y0urval3ntine @pinksturniolo @x0x0bunny @blahbel668 @chrisbesitos @fratbrochrisgf @obsessionsarenotfortheweak @gabri3la-sturns @ncm9696 @strnilolover @luv-sturno @pr3ttyf4wn
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