lutherfordd

[lutherfordd]

Christmas doesn't feel the same

People you used to be with aren't there

Still not used to saying their name

At this point, it feels like I shouldn't care

I mean, what can I do if I was to blame?

I guess this is just one of those things I have to bare

If only that night I didn't fan the flame

Or If they just remained unaware

Maybe Christmas would still feel the same

[lutherfordd]

I could never fake my feelings. It's totally out of my principle if that's what you want to know..

[lutherfordd]

Blue

Once upon a time, when everyone was closer

There was a girl whose name I can't utter

She liked the color blue, like the sky so pure

So like everything I've done, I dedicate this to her

There was a boy who once loved red

He was alone and had no friends

No one was there and no one cared

Until he found people he can depend

It took some time to find anyone who dared

Among those he gained, he met a girl

Who had a vibe as bright as pearl

And a personality as silly as a squirrel

Every time he saw her his mind would swirl

Like her hair, his thoughts were curled

To impress her, things she liked he decided to copy

She liked the color blue, and so did he

He thought that doing this would be the key

For the word "me" , to someday turn to "we"

There was just something he couldn't foresee

That him and her, could never be

Now he's just there, left all alone

With a color that he didn't own

Because he's taking a liking, feelings now sewn

Things he liked before, now outgrown

With the red he once liked, now disowned

The boy likes the color blue

A color liked by someone he knew

But even though they didn't stick together like glue

He still loves this hue

Like the sky, he still loves the view

Of the color she introduced

Now he loves the color blue

ps:this is just a work of fiction

[lutherfordd]

The Recipe for a Perfect Morning Run

They say you should start your morning with uplifting energy. That’s the secret to a good day, they say. And I’ve mastered it. Every day starts the same: the same perfect routine, the same perfect execution.

I wake up at exactly 5:30 a.m., no alarm needed. My clothes are already laid out the night before. A quick stretch, a glass of water, and I’m out the door. My morning run is just as precise—a loop around the neighborhood Garden, a brisk pace past the Houses, and the grand finale at the Park. There, I reward myself with a hotdog from Ben’s stand.

Ben’s hotdogs are good—not amazing, not world-changing. But they’re reliable. A staple. And that’s what matters.

Routine. Perfection. Control.

This morning is no different. The air is crisp, my strides perfectly measured. The Garden looks as pristine as always, dew still clinging to the flowers. I round the corner to the Park, my stomach already anticipating the familiar smell of Ben’s grill.

But when I arrive, something’s wrong.

There’s no hotdog stand.

The spot where it always stands is empty, as if Ben had never existed at all. My chest tightens, but I force myself to keep walking, to maintain composure. This isn’t a big deal. It’s fine. It has to be fine.

I sit on a bench to rest, though my legs refuse to stay still. My hands twitch, my foot taps against the dirt. The unease won’t settle. This is just a small break in the routine, I tell myself. Nothing to worry about.

Beside me, an old man reads a newspaper, his posture relaxed, his face weathered but calm. He doesn’t look at me, doesn’t acknowledge my presence. But after a few moments, he speaks.

“You ever wonder what it’s all for?” he says, his voice low and rough.

I stiffen, unsure if he’s talking to me. I don’t respond, keeping my gaze fixed ahead.

“You live your life thinking you’ll get it all right eventually. That you’ll wake up one day and the regrets will be gone. But they don’t leave. They just sit there, waiting for you to notice.”

I clench my jaw, refusing to engage. But his words press against me, peeling back the layers I’ve worked so hard to build.

“I lost my son,” he says, almost to himself. “Pushed him too hard to be perfect. Didn’t know when to stop. He grew up hating me, but I kept pushing. Now, he doesn’t even remember who I am. And you know what? I deserved it.”

His voice cracks, but he keeps going. “Funny how you can ruin someone’s life and still wake up every morning, isn’t it? Still eat your breakfast, still breathe.” He chuckles bitterly. “But I’m fine now. How about you?”

The question slices through me, and before I can stop myself, I respond.

“I’m not fine,” I admit, my voice trembling. “I’ve spent my whole life pretending everything’s fine. Like if I say it enough, it’ll be true. But it’s not.”

The words pour out now, unstoppable. “I’ve made mistakes. Big ones. I’ve pushed people away, hurt the ones I cared about. And now... now I don’t have anyone. Not really.” My hands grip the edge of the bench as I exhale shakily.

I pause, my chest tight. “Except for Ben.” I laugh softly, the sound bitter. “He doesn’t even know what he means to me. He’s just... there. Every morning, with that stupid hotdog stand. And it’s the only thing that feels right. The only thing that doesn’t feel broken.”

My voice grows quieter, more uncertain. “I thought I was okay. But I’m not. I’m just... tired.” My throat tightens as I fight the lump rising there. “Ben doesn’t even know me, and I don’t deserve to know him. But he’s all I have left.”

The old man folds his newspaper deliberately, the sound crisp and final. He stands, adjusts his coat, and pats my shoulder lightly.

“You seem to care a lot about Ben,” he says, his voice softer now. “I’m sorry for what happened. The accident this morning really was tragic.”

The ground crumbles beneath me. My heart races, my chest feels like it’s caving in.

I sit frozen as he walks away, his figure disappearing into the distance. My thoughts swirl violently, but the world around me remains eerily calm.

Eventually, I stand. My legs feel heavy, but they carry me forward. Past the Park, past the Garden, past the House.

The route is broken, my perfect morning shattered.

And yet, I keep running. Because there’s nowhere else to go.

[lutherfordd]

I hate you

I hate you

I hate how you can smile

With all this tangled thoughts

About how you'll never walk down the aisle

You developed a hobby to exhaust,

Your mind about a war you haven't even fought

You get distracted from the truth

About how you hate yourself

Keep saying that you never got to enjoy your youth

How you were always on the shelf

And how it left a bruise that became the root

Of why you never got used on asking for help

You keep overthinking

Thinking that the clock is ticking

Always asking if it's too late

Was I too late? To leave all this hate

And start to appreciate the word "wait"

Because the truth is things take time

Like all things I need to get in line

Wait for my sign

Wait for fate to intertwine

And wait for that someone I can call mine

So how could I hate?

Myself, just because I couldn't date

That classmate thought to be soulmate

Just because I always hesitate

Thinking that there are things more great

So even though I haven't exchanged "I love yous"

With anyone, which always left me feeling the blues

I guess I'll just accept what's true

How I could never truly say

I hate you

A letter to myself. Reminding that it's okay to be alone and feel alone.

[lutherfordd]

the only thing I can do is to wait for the feelings to fade

by laurenmaerie, prologue/ start

[lutherfordd]

[lutherfordd]

Having a mind that never rests is exhausting.

[lutherfordd]

“ It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. ”

[lutherfordd]

My Camera won't focus on the Moon anymore.

I love taking pictures of the moon. I love when it shines the brightest. I love when it's accompanied with the stars. I love collecting photos of the moon.

My camera loves the moon. They work so well to capture the beauty of the night. Every picture highlights the amazing features of the moon. Whether it be crescent, half, or full. My camera is always there to capture it's every shape and form.

So tell me why these days, my camera can't seem to focus on the moon? In every picture something always seems off. It's like, details are captured but something is always missing. It lacks passion. It lacks creativity. It lacks love.

My camera loves sunsets. They work so well to capture the essence of dawn. Every picture highlights the beauty of the day ending. Whether it be cloudy, dark, or bright. My camera is always there to capture the end of the day.

I love the moon. But my camera is starting to like sunsets better. Who am I to interfere with my camera's desires? I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if I'm still talking about my camera, sunsets, and the Moon.

[lutherfordd]

"Reminder to those with a broken heart"

Hey, how's it going? You probably already know me. Well if you don't, let me introduce myself. Hi, I'm Luther. I'm someone who struggles with emotional turmoil. Someone who hasn't been able to process their emotions properly. So welcome to this entry. This is a message to those with a broken heart.

First, how are you feeling? Good? Bad? Or maybe numb? You're probably someone who's just grown to accept these feelings, thinking that they are normal. Heck, if you're like me you probably think that you deserve them. That maybe all these misfortunes are all your doing. Well... You might be right. But haven't you considered other's perspectives? That maybe you're being over yourself. That maybe you're over reacting. That... You're wrong?

Because think about it this way. You already feel bad about yourself, how'd you think others might feel if they found out how you feel? Although yes, I do get where you might be coming from. People like us always have that "The world is a cruel one blah blah" thing we hold onto whenever we feel bad. But don't you think all this self hatred and blaming has been enough? Haven't you grown tired of it? How you always feel the need to be in the spotlight. How you always need validation from everyone around you.

Because yes, people like us absolutely loves to act mysterious just to get a mere ounce of attention. But how do you truly know that you've given enough effort to truly say the iconic words "I have given it my all", when you don't even know how others feel? Think about it, you've made yourself so mysterious that you blocked off anyone coming into your life. You chose this right? When reading this you might begin to blame yourself again. BUT NO! You don't get to do that. Don't go stealing the spotlight now. IT IS NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU.

So tell me why, whenever you get broken hearted you have the audacity to cry about it and blame anyone. WHEN YOU HAVEN'T EVEN GIVEN IT YOUR ALL. Yes the person you admire might say "No" or outright humiliate you for trying. BUT ATLEAST YOU TRIED. Don't go being a coward then be all sad about it. You might ask me "Hey where do you get this information from?". Bro I've done it myself, trust me. It's not good for you. And I bet you know it yourself.

But what did you do even though you knew it was bad? You still did it. Because you have a hobby of ruining your life don't you? You might say that you don't care much about yourself. Well I also have said that before. And trust me, the way people like us act? We care more about ourselves than anyone else.

So let me tell you this as a random person on the internet. Just don't. Don't. Don't even try to be someone who only bases on their own perspective. Try to understand people atleast. Allow them to understand you too. Because how can you say you've tried hard enough when you haven't even tried opening up to them? Be brave. I know you think the world is against you, trust me most of them don't care. And that's okay. The only thing you need to care about in this world is how you live it. Treat people with respect. Live to achieve success, not perfection. Because you and I both know that somehow in some way, something will go wrong. You just have to live your life to the fullest.

"There are things in life we can't control, and aren't supposed to. So enjoy what it has to offer."

That is all, it was nice talking to you random person on the internet. I hope you treat yourself well. I hope you treat everyone well. All of us deserve it. Mistakes don't define YOU. Be yourself. Let others be themselves. Make your right decisions. And let others make their decisions.

Because in the end? A broken heart is always better than having none.

[lutherfordd]

Hey self. Remember, you're not allowed to fall.

[lutherfordd]

Ice Cream Therapy with Keira

[lutherfordd]

Sino nga kase yan??

[lutherfordd]

Sino ba kase yan?

[lutherfordd]

[lutherfordd]

Ayun naman pala