lunarphosie

[lunarphosie]

fatima aamer bilal, from the heart beats for two.

[text id: how can i not love you violently when all i have ever known is / violence in the name of love?]

[lunarphosie]

Is it just me or everyone imagine their fav characters that they are obsessing over in real life???

Like I'll be at work and then I imagine that bitch sitting next to me, talking to me and admiring me while I FUCKING KNOW THAT I HAVENT KISSED A MALE SPECIES IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

I don't know if that's sign of a fucking mental problem or what but I swear if I'm even Slightly upset or tired of my life i WILL open tumblr and start imagining them or talking to them (aka my wall. It be sitting there like the fuck gurl im not your man)

[lunarphosie]

i want to be clear that whenever i come on here and reblog some self insert fic (which is often) it's because i am yearning for love i am yearning for intimacy. sex is nice and its cool when i'm ovulating but most of the time i am reblogging for the feeling of having someone look at me and like what they see. maybe even love it. i like other types of fanfiction, for most of my life i did not read self-insert fanfic because i thought it was a little cringey, and i still kind of do knowing my younger self would laugh at me for it, but i also feel so lonely that it helps. stave it off i guess. nice to pretend that i'm wanted.

[lunarphosie]

Stfu I'm reading fanfics about little subby bitch boys

[lunarphosie]

how did you manage to be so kind and thoughtful

despite a life that hasn't always been

kind to you?

[lunarphosie]

Cold nights, Warm hearts.

six of crows x gn florist reader. (gif not mine)

Life was boring when the only thing that accompanies you is your shadow when you walk, living in Ketterdam was very complicated for someone who barely knew how to defend themselves. The days were monotonous for them, their only hobby was taking care of their garden, the flowers and plants that, being so colorful, made the city look gray.

Few were the people who bought flowers, but the warmth in their chest did not fail to show up when it was like that, they were glad to know that even in a place this dark love could exist, and they hoped to feel it one day. They hoped to share their happiness with other people, and that is why one could now be able to see flowers on the streets. One of the few people who appreciated flowers as much as they did was Inej, so they did not fail to go to the barrel to leave a couple (or more) in the place, what was not expected is that the place would be almost empty if it weren't for the crows, who now seemed to be enjoying a lively conversation about how well they did on their last heist. Jesper was bragging about his aiming skills, Inej laughing at it knowing he just wanted to impress the others (others < wylan), nina and matthias chatted amongst themselves while enjoying the atmosphere, while kaz watched the others, trying not to show the smile that was fighting to creep into his lips. Kaz was the first to notice them when they entered, so he got up a little bit confused, ready to inform them that they were closed for today, however they were quick to speak first. "Inej told me I could drop these off today…sorry to interrupt…I thought a splash of color here would be nice, but if not I can take them back." They spoke quickly thanks to nervousness, which subsided when they felt the girl stand by their side to confirm what they was saying. Inej was quick to invite them to spend some time with them, to which Kaz didn't object and when they finally joined the table where the others were, they seemed happy with their company. Introductions were quick and they took a seat between Kaz and Nina, where they spent the rest of the night. They couldn't fight the feeling of happiness filling them, even though they hadn't joined much in the conversation they felt part of the group, at home almost. They never thought that the love they hoped to feel one day would be found in a group of people they barely knew. Their chest felt warmer than ever, their eyes shone beyond comparison and to be honest, They hoped that would never change, that it would be something more recurrent, if it were up to them they would love to hear jesper brag about how good he is at everything, help nina to cook waffles, stand guard outside the barrel and even more, if it meant that they could continue to feel the happiness that now filled them.

[lunarphosie]

If only i was her.

kaz brekker x fem! reader. (gifs not mine!)

She loved him. She loved Kaz ever since she met him, the way he dressed, his eyes that did not reflect any emotion, the tone of his voice, the smirk that appeared on his face from time to time, the way he took care of his crows and even the way he limped. He loved her. The way her hair rested on her shoulders, how her eyes shined under the moon, the bright smile she gave him when things turned out okay, her laugh and how she took care of him when he obviously didn’t need it. “If only i was her.” y/n thought.

[lunarphosie]

Golden Hour. kaz brekker x fem! reader.♡ (not my gif!)

"It was just two lovers Sittin' in the car, listening to Blonde, fallin' for each other."

They met on a winter night in the patio of a luxurious house, Kaz was surely carrying out one of his plans by the way his gaze danced between the entrance to the house and some bushes in the distance, waiting for everything to work out right, While she was just hanging out, pretending to be one more guest at the party taking place there, something she used to do to get some food, fun and even information from people in order to get some money, she was very good at it. Music played in the background as the girl took a seat on one of the benches, Kaz's gaze falling on her not long after. He was attracted to her and he didn't know why, maybe the fact that he noticed the things she did when talking to the guests at the party, the questions she asked and how good she was at questioning, or maybe it was just the fact that she looked beautiful at the time. She had also seen him, she noticed that he approached a specific type of people, the way a small smile appeared on his lips when he got the information he wanted, and even the discomfort spreading through his body when someone touched or invaded his space, he was interesting.

"Pink and orange skies, feelin' super childish, no Donald Glover"

The sun was beginning to go down and the sky was tinted with beautiful warm tones, making the girl's beautiful skin color stand out even more. The way her hair layed on her shoulders and her eyes sparkled as she gazed at the building made all the air escape his lungs, it was just breathtaking to Kaz. The girl's eyes fell into his, and she couldn't help but smile when he tried to hide the fact that he was looking at her the whole time.

"Missed call from my mother, Like "Where you at tonight?" Got no alibi"

She could notice when a boy leaned out of one of the windows on the second floor and seeked the attention of the boy in front of her, who seemed to be in another world still. The girl got up from her seat and took a couple of steps until she reached the side of the boy, who was now looking at her somewhat confused. -"I think your friend needs you to carry out your part of the plan." She pointed to the window and smiled slightly, it had taken her less than half an hour to notice that Kaz had something in his hands, something that surprised him because he did not expect to be discovered.

"I was all alone with the love of my life She's got glitter for skin My radiant beam in the night"

Now that the girl was just a few centimeters from him, she looked even more beautiful, her skin that before looked like a porcelain doll now shone, her cheeks were a little pink thanks to the cold and he could notice those freckles and moles that decorated her face and neck, lining up as if they were a constellation. It took him a couple of seconds to take his eyes off her to turn to see Jesper, who now looked somewhat desperate, that was enough to realize that it was time to leave, so he nodded in the girl's direction and left, even when he didn't want to.

"I don't need no light to see you shine It's your golden hour You slow down time In your golden hour"

The days that followed he couldn't help but think about her, how even though the night consumed them she seemed to continue to shine, it was difficult for him to concentrate on his work and he was ashamed to admit that sometimes he looked for her in the crowd, thinking what he could tell her if he found her, and although he found her totally beautiful, he also knew how good she was at getting information from people and he had found out she had many more qualities, nothing that his crows couldn't do but he tried to convince himself that he needed her.

"We were just two lovers Feet up on the dash, drivin' nowhere fast, burnin' through the summer"

Time had passed and Kaz achieved his goal of integrating her into the crows, since she had arrived everyone could notice a slight change in Kaz's behavior. Everyone thought of her as an energetic, compassionate and loving person. The outings became more common, he didn't like to show it but he loved seeing his family happy, he loved seeing her happy.

"Radio on blast, make the moment last, she got solar power Minutes feel like hours"

Time flew when he was around her, who always managed to make Kaz Brekker's eyes have a certain sparkle, the one he lost many years ago. Moments as simple but with great meaning were recorded in his head, such as the first night that she dared to spend the night with him, sitting on the window sill reading while he advanced with his work, or the time when Kaz hadn't left his office for days and she took the time to go and leave him some food and try to get the boy to rest, which she achieved after several attempts.

"She knew she was the baddest Can you even imagine fallin' like i did?"

With the passing of the months it was impossible to hide his feelings for her and vice versa, both had fallen deeply for each other and there was no one who could save them from it. The brushes between hands began to be more frequent and intentional, so much so that when they were in the privacy of his room Kaz could take off his gloves and let his hands dance in the girl's hair, trying to abandon the fear. At first he felt like he was drowning all over again, but she always understood and was patient with him, now the water did not go past his hips, his breathing did not shake and the fear decreased when her skin was cold.

"For the love of my life She's got glow on her face A glorious look in her eyes My angel of light"

Words were not necessary for her to communicate everything she felt for him, with just a look Kaz could feel the love she had for him, she had been so patient and careful with him that it was impossible to not notice, neither of them had felt so loved before they met, and they accidentaly saved each others lifes.

"I was all alone with the love of my life She's got glitter for skin My radiant beam in the night I don't need no light to see you shine"

Kaz was leaning against the edge of his desk, while the girl was standing between his legs, looking lovingly into the boy's eyes. The moon was the only thing shining at that moment (Kaz would say otherwise), making the moment even more romantic and intimate. -"If I told you about the darkness inside of me, would you still look at me like im the sun?" Kaz asked, it was hard for him to understand why her eyes shone so much when she saw him, it didn't seem true that she loved the bastard of the barrel so much. -"you will always be the sun for me." She said while bringing their foreheads together, because what he didn't know was that all this time she thought of him the same way he did with her, in her eyes Kaz Brekker shone in a way that no one else could, he was the light among all the darkness.