lunansol

[lunansol]

sis is finally home 🚢✈️ tysmg.

[lunansol]

summing up my week ✨️

Sunday is Church day

Running errands for my Tita and Mom to buy a matress for my sister and I also got mine.

Got myself an ice cream kasi I was so sad and tired and I badly need this :c

Prep the other room for my sister, start na rin kasi maglipat ng room

Went to my former school for my lil sis documents, it bring so much memories :c

Went to work (school) to clean since our health break is already done and back to school na naman

[lunansol]

Eto pa nagviview na siya ng my day kulang na lang magreact pa eh haha pero ayun lang. Ex-crush ko pa rin siya na inaasar asar.

Medyo nagiimprove na yung ex crush ko ngayon haha pero honestly it feels weird talaga like iba to sa mga guy. I always have this competitive side with him. It's just simple things lang naman like kapag kalaro ko siya sa codm gusto ko ako mvp palagi Hahah and I say improvement kasi nasusuyo na niya ako even though it was funny convo lang. And lakas mang-asar, well ngl mas bata kasi sakin yun ng like 1 yr lang feeling naman ate niya ako. It's just a happy crush lang and nakwento ko na to sa isang blog, babalikan ko na lang improvements niya kasi iuncrush ko na nga.

[lunansol]

Medyo nagiimprove na yung ex crush ko ngayon haha pero honestly it feels weird talaga like iba to sa mga guy. I always have this competitive side with him. It's just simple things lang naman like kapag kalaro ko siya sa codm gusto ko ako mvp palagi Hahah and I say improvement kasi nasusuyo na niya ako even though it was funny convo lang. And lakas mang-asar, well ngl mas bata kasi sakin yun ng like 1 yr lang feeling naman ate niya ako. It's just a happy crush lang and nakwento ko na to sa isang blog, babalikan ko na lang improvements niya kasi iuncrush ko na nga.

[lunansol]

Huwag niyo ko pansinan ha it's just that safe space lang talaga to para sa "phase na hindi dapat makita ng iba pero kailangan ko ilabas kundi sasabog ako anytime".

Hindi ko na alam kung ano pang gagawin ko.

[lunansol]

May times na okay naman kinakaya, may times rin na parang gusto mo na lang mawala, mayroon din yung gusto mo na lang umiyak ng umiyak, gustong manahimik at huwag kumausap ng iba (ganito nangyayari sakin this past few days kaya hindi ako nagrereply kahit kanino) , hindi ko na alam ayoko na sa bahay, nakakapagod mentally and emotionally mas mahirap pa to kesa sa problema sa lablayf na kaya mo iwan at magmove on kasi its your choice pero pagiging anak? pangforever

Hindi ko na alam kung ano pang gagawin ko.

[lunansol]

Hindi ko na alam kung ano pang gagawin ko.

[lunansol]

Nasabi ko na nagoOT ako sa school minsan kahit di naman dapat just because umiiwas lang rin talaga ako sa kanila. Home supposed to be your pahinga but sometimes it doesn't bring peace anymore kasi paguwi ko responsibilidad naman bilang anak. Nakakapagod :c

[lunansol]

Having sex isn't everything, have y'all tried just laying down, playing with someone's hands while they talk about life. Those are the moments to live for. Deep talk and understanding someone's background, opening up to someone and actually falling for them more and more.

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life recently

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Nalulungkot ako knowing that I failed as a daughter pero di ko maiwasan magtanim ng sama ng loob. This past few days since nagresign si Mama sa work never kami nagusap ng maayos, she was thinking a lot of things, maski ako nabibigatan rin kasi wala na akong narinig na good things sa kanya, sometimes feel ko nangagaslight siya, minsan naman palaging utos na lang naririnig ko.

Yes, aminado naman kami na sobrang busy namin sa work and my lil sis sa acads, and occupied isip namin to the point na ayaw na namin ng interaction sa bahay like hindi ko alam kung bakit at some point nasanay na ata kami na never naman namin nakakausap si Mama.

Alam ko na pagod na rin siya, madaming iniisip, to the point na nabayaan niya kami when it comes to physical support. Ramdam rin siguro ng kapatid ko yun kaya kita ko na medyo lumalayo loob namin kay Mama.

Can't help to cry while typing this hindi ko alam anong nangyari at some point pakiramdam ko nawalan na rin kami ng presensya ng isang ina. Na ngayon kailangan niya kami, hindi namin maiparamdam sa kanya na nandyan kami. Ni isang kumusta noon di naman niya nagawa kaya ayun never na rin kami nangamusta. Hindi na nga niya alam na may sakit ako minsan o nilalagnat.

Nakakalungkot lang na umabot kami sa ganitong punto na hindi ko alam kung mawawala tong sama ng loob kasi kung may sasabihin man ako mamasamain niya o igagaslight ka niya.

Hindi ko na alam gagawin ko minsan. Mahal ko siya sobra pa sa sobra and all I want for her is the best. Pero hindi ko alam kung saan nangagaling itong pakiramda na to.

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Ano ba yan ang overthinker iniisip ko tuloy why it suddenly ends baka kasi partly nakwento ko na some bad sides abt me na hindi kagusto gusto and that's it.

[lunansol]

📍 Makati Errands

I'm not a southie girl and pinakahate ko magtravel lalo na if ill go to places like buildings it gives me the sight of modern world na kung saan fast paced and it's really hard to keep up. Andun lang ako in between not super crowded place and you still be able to breath.

It reminds me this place na kailangan mo mabilisang sumabay sa agos. Basta mahabang kwento to why and I don't see myself fitting in that kind of world huhu. When all I want is just same nature vibe na parang hindi ka nakikipaghabulan sa mundo at oras.

But in good side, architectures was so so good, still amaze whenever I look at those except na wala gaanong puno haha.

[lunansol]

Listening to "Those Eyes" makes me want to fall in love again. Fuck