lullabyminds

[lullabyminds]

What's everyone's favourite flowers that aren't like. The normal ones. Like everyone's a fan of roses and sunflowers what's a more niche one. One you don't get in gift sets. Mine's sweet peas

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Resmaa Menakem, My Grandmother’s Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies

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I’m going to the conservatory and the zoo tomorrow; treating myself like a blue-haired senior who needs to be bused from her retirement home to on weekends for cultural enrichment.

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your daily walks wrapped

you soaked up 10,985 minutes of sunshine, rain, and other weather

you walked past 4,073 individuals you would describe as the most beautiful person in the world

you bore witness to 23% more of your local area than last year—good job!

you saw 3 of the weirdest dogs you will ever see in your life

you noticed 18 people visibly, tenderly in love with each other

you smelled 243 flowering plants & shrubs

you drank 267 delicious beverages

you were kissed invisibly and imperceptibly by 117 bumble bees and butterflies

you were witness to 87,441,289 gorgeous leaves

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Devin Kelly, from “All That Wanting, Right?”

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“To try to not be more interesting but be more interested” literally changed my life perspective btw

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it is so dang funny to me that there is this cultural pressure for artists to be modest about their art. 'you cant say your own book is five stars' WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO RATE IT FOUR? buckaroo if you create ANYTHING from your heart it has all the grand cosmic uniqueness you do. CELEBRATE YOURSELF

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sometimes your distress does indicate you should stop and respect your limitations. at other times it's more of a baby aquatic mammal being introduced to water for the first time thing. Too bad the difference is so hard to tell.

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laundry at sunset

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but you can't keep holding on like this.

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when i was a teenager it felt very revolutionary to be cruel to myself. like some kind of slow passive protest against how much everything hurt. i starved myself of sleep and food and tenderness because it felt right. it felt sharp and angry and radical and i wanted to be those things. adulthood is the realisation that the world is already working to cut into you well before you learn how to do it yourself. caring for yourself and others is the real protest

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You think the world would love you better without your holy edges, without your bleeding wounds and unsightly want. You think the world would love you better but it's just the world.

The grass is soft and holds the ants and parasites and wolves. The wind is gentle and topples mountains the same as it steals breathe. The ocean remembers you, the sea consumes. You are not so tall and not so new.

You think the world would love you better but the world has eaten as much as it's given. the world’s great beauty is a mirror and an indifference to all your burning parts. the Sun is graceful. the Sun is deadly.

We inherit tragedy from hunger but the world would love you better no more, no less, than it will bare you. And it will, and it will.

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who would even miss me [thinks about the many people who would] oh come on

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You didn't waste time by surviving.

Getting through a flare up amd getting through a bout of illness or time with your shit parents, it wasn't a waste. College wasn't a waste because you had to drop out.

You were alive and in survival mode. You made it through. You learn things about yourself and learn where your limits were. Learned how your body said I cannot do this anymore.

That's never a waste. All the time you have is yours. Nobody else gets to use it for you and for their own exceptions.

Surviving is enough. Learning to live is enough. Maybe you will never be the hero of a great story, showered in respect and riches.

But you still are part of a story. And you mean a lot to other people's stories.

You might not get a redo but you are alot less alone this way.

Surviving is not a waste of time. Surviving helps you make it to the next part.

You cannot waste time. It all has a purpose.

You're learning how to live. Never shame yourself for that.

Be gentle, you have the time.

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this is so real and never leaves me

[lullabyminds]

Honestly it boils down to reparenting yourself & rewiring your own neuronal pathways & telling yourself a firm “stop” when you notice your mind slipping down negative loopholes & being present in the moment & enjoying being mid task rather than waiting for it to end & not thinking of inertia as your baseline and natural way of living