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There was a kind of war in my brain that wouldn’t let me sleep. It was worse than being a captive in chains. Sometimes it’s good to be rash—sometimes it works out well to act impulsively when our careful plans lose steam. This should show us that there’s a God in heaven who’s always guiding us in the right direction, however often we screw up— I have tried to find that one warm spot in my heart that keeps it beating. Only God knows that all this bad was just an act or honor to my father. I am not strong, but sensitive, I am not violent, but gentle. Dear God take me before I take myself. Bring me to my knees so I can be at peace. Pray for my mother, pray for me. I will enter a dark place when I shall never return.
Oh God, @Horatio, what a damaged reputation I’m leaving behind me, as no one knows the truth. If you ever loved me, then please and stay in this harsh world long enough to tell my story. Let this family die and let a clean and pure family take over.
#familyforever #deathbeproud #goodbye
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Ophelia
I loved Ophelia.
Forty thousand brothers
Could not with all their quantity of love
Make up my sum.
What wilt thou do for her?
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My Beautiful Ophelia,
My love has always been true to you... this revenge whether it be sent to me by the Devil or my father himself. It has consumed my life and has taken all the love from me. Ophelia, Who is the one whose grief is so loud and clear, whose words of sadness make the planets stand still in the heavens as if they’ve been hurt by what they’ve heard?
It’s me, Hamlet
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Revenge is worthless
My God! Everything I see shows me how wrong I am and tells me to hurry up and get on with my revenge. What is a human being if he just eats and sleeps? Nothing more than a beast. God didn’t create us to not follow through on our thoughts and emotions. . We Learn when given a task that is too large for our soul to handle that we are either mindless or just a plain coward. Am I a coward? Am I not the man my father thinks that I am. I don’t know how I am still alive to say.. There are things to do... get this deed, revenge over with..
I have the motivation. the will power and the power to do it-- so why is it not done. My conscious is telling me something different. Am I truly insane? I have watched many of men go to war and fight for causes and even small parcels of land that cannot even bury them, because they are just too small-- because many men have died fighting in numbers so large one cannot even count-- I have one small revenge and I need to carry these thoughts as violent or they will be just WORTHLESS.
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Darkest Thoughts
Love is bittersweet... Bonds are broken, a bond between a mother and son should never be forgotten. But this bond can not be mended. She is not the murderer but the villain and needs to pray for forgiveness. I too have committed a crime, which cannot be forgotten. I am leaving for England in the morning with two buddies who I trust as much as two rattlesnakes. Help there seems to be no light at the end of this dark dark tunnel.
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Summoned to speak to my Mother-- What could she possible say to me, Sorry??? I am deepened with anger that she moved on so fast and did she know her new love, my uncle was the one that killed my father?
I’ll speak as sharp as a dagger to her, but I won’t use one on her. And so, my words and thoughts will be at odds. Oh Mother...why?
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Do they not know I know what they are up to. You were supposed to be my friends-- Well, look how you play me—as if you knew exactly where to put your fingers, to blow the mystery out of me, playing all the octaves of my range—and yet you can’t even produce music from this little instrument? My God, do you think I’m easier to manipulate than a pipe? You can push my buttons, but you can’t play me for a fool. Rosen and Stern -- you are not to be trusted,
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The Mouse Trap
It didn’t take long to see the expression on Claudius’ face... It was obvious while watching the short film that he was quilty! Claudius killed my father and that is a fact. @Horatio we did it.
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Game on!! Sweet Revenge @Horatio
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To be or not to be... Life or Death
To exist or not exist… This is my dilemma. Is it better to suffer than totake action against our troubles and end up fighting with your thoughts your whole life? Isn’t dying, just sleeping– sleeping that is all. In sleep we forget about all our stress and worries. It ceases the pain that fills our body each minute of the day. But when we sleep–will we dream– dream of things that we don’t dream of in this mortal life? But what will the dreams be like in the afterlife? Why does our stress and troubles last so long, why is the corruption of the country not frowned upon, why do laws and justice take so long to commend, why does the pain of a broken relationship hurt so much, why do people lie and break one’s soul apart. It would be so easy to ends one life– One silver bullet, A few little pills, a reckless night in the sports car… This would make life so much less stressful. But I would enter the place when no traveler returns– what would I become and succumb to. For this thought makes me think to stay and continue to endure the troubles that I am dealing with now. I know of these troubles… But I will not know what troubles are ahead of me. Thinking these thoughts makes me a coward– afraid of what is to come. One last thought to your Ophelia– you chose not to be with me because of lies and honor– Hey Ophelia I will pray for you and may all your sins be remembered! Oh and Ophelia—please remember me when you pray!
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The eyes have it!!!
My dear father’s been murdered, and I’ve been urged to seek revenge by heaven and hell, and yet all I can do is stand around cursing in the streets. UGH! I need to get myself together here! Hmm…. I’ve heard that guilty people watching a play or a movie have been so affected by the artistry of the scene that they are driven to confess their crimes out loud. “Murder has no tongue, but miraculously it still finds a way to speak.”
One of the most important things to know about nonverbal communication is that a lot of it happens unconsciously. For example, we may not realize it, but when we are lying about something we tend to not look at someone in their eyes very much. We don’t do it purposely, it’s just something that happens naturally when we are trying to hide something. By being more aware of other people’s nonverbal cues, we can gain a clearer understanding of what a person is really communicating to us.
So that is what I will do—I will edit in the murder of my father into the short film and sit and watch my uncle to see if he flinches – This movie will be the thing to uncover the conscience of the murderer.
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So the saga gets deeper-- My mom and my Uncle--aka My mother’s husband, my new “master”-- sent for my oldest friends, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. Did they not think I would know??
The three of us spent every day together while growing up. Money separated us in our older years, but we still remained close. Rosen didn’t go abroad to study, but went to a local school and Stern just got a job working with his Dad. They were my best friends. I knew everything about these guys and I knew that they would not be here unless they were asked to be. Stern Is an expert at producing short films, So I asked him if I could get involved in the latest of his projects and have a private showing here at the mansion for a small private group. So excited to be part of the “real life” production. Let the games begin....
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My life is spinning out of control. Who do I believe? Who do I trust? Who do I love? Who can I be?
“God hath given you one face, and you make yourself another.”
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