lucifersalt

[lucifersalt]

I wont let you forget what you did to me.

[lucifersalt]

sheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorriblesheshorrible

[lucifersalt]

I hate this.

I hate everything about myself, I hate how loud I am, I hate how annoying I am, I hate how needy I am. I'm like a small child. And I FUCKING hate it. I hate everything. I push myself everyday to make myself look so happy and energetic but I genuinely don't know how much longer I can hold on before I snap and fucking cry. I don't know what I want to be I don't know what I am or who I am. I hate this so much. If I come out to my parents they'll just scream at me. I'm not a real man. I'm just some dumb girl who doesn't understand who she really is. and I honestly I'm getting so tired. I'm getting so close to just harming myself, every day I get closed and closer. why cant I have a normal childhood? why did I have to grow up with her? she hurt me physically, mentally and emotionally, shes the reason why I'm so jumpy, shes the reason why there's scars on my elbows and knees. shes the reason why my systems even exist. AND I HATE HER. SO FUCKING MUCH. I WANT TO BE NORMAL, WHY AM I LIKE THIS?? I WANT THIS ALL TO BE FUCKING OVER. AND I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE. I'M SO FUCKING DONE. THE ONLY RELEASE I HAVE IS MY ART. AND I'M SO GLAD NO ONE LOOKS CLOSE INTO IT BECAUSE IN GENERAL IT HAS THEMES OF ME JUST TRAUMA DUMPING IN EACH LITTLE SQUIBBLE, DOT, AND CURVE. I'M SO DONE. I CANT STAND BE RELATED TO HER !! SHE FUCKING PHYISCALLY HIT ME, SHE PINNED ME AGAINST THE FRIDGE WHEN I WAS JUST A CHILD AND THREATENED ME. I WAS SCARED. SHE SCARES ME SO BAD, AND I HATE HER SO MUCH. I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE.