lovingacura

[lovingacura]

I truly am no human

[lovingacura]

8AUG2023

I lied, things got a little worse. I will still be posting updates but there will be pauses to a bit of progress I have to make. As it stands, I have to undertake two jobs in order to properly support myself.

More tomorrow, good night.

[lovingacura]

7AUG2023

Strange day.

Today started off extremely well but ended up getting worse as the clock got closer to midnight. A conversation with loved ones led to the downturn. Because of a lot of factors I've brought forward in my life, I don't have a lot of room to do many things. However there are times where I do feel alienated with my thoughts. I am making things work though!

There was art done today but I am in bed so I will post a double feature tomorrow.

[lovingacura]

6AUG2023

Eventful day

Today was quite eventful considering I was out or doing errands for 90% of the day. I didn't get much time to draw and all I did was another shapes practice.

Regarding the events of today, I had to mainly drive around a lot since, although I don't have a car, I am decently adept at it.

I also saw a family member I haven't spoken to in a while and we had a great, albeit short conversation about where we see ourselves in the future. I'm actually quite happy we had the conversation as I've been meaning to come back into contact for a while. I'm very inconsistent on every front and I need to work more on it.

Speaking of, I think the key to scheduling is treating the things I want to do like a full time job. It sounds jarring, but, when I find the right thing, I'm actually looking forward to work.

That's all for now though, today was a busy day and I'm quite tired.

More later, good night.

[lovingacura]

5AUG2023

Lazy Day

Today will be a lot shorter tomorrow (and artless as well Q_Q)

In terms of day progress not much was made, I considered a schedule I'll undertake for art after quite a bit of scrolling through the for you section of the tumblr feed. Although I haven't taken action yet it's instilled a decent amount of hope in me to the point where I am optimistic about my future.

On the irl side of things, I've been preparing for work and getting things together for my future in university.

Until then, I am heading to bed. A short but sweet night.

[lovingacura]

4AUG2023

Not A Bad Day Today + Art Goal Setting

Third post but it feels like it's been forever already. Today is gonna be a much shorter post because today felt great. I mainly ran errands and stretched for a bit. I watched a couple of speedruns too and am gonna draw for a bit after finishing this post (22:30 EST) There wasn't really any noise so I felt great!

Post Drawing, Not much time has elapsed. I need to really get in the groove of drawing for longer durations. There was a video I saw saying that one hour a week isn't cutting it. I want to definitely do more so I'll try to do more tomorrow but for now here is more practice at basic shapes and a botched hand i referenced off of myself.

If anyone also shares my goals and stumbles upon these, I'd love to interact and talk more! I have a discord, @ name loveofacura. Please dm me and we can hold one another accountable for art and improve together. Or even work on debuting as vtubers and learning how to properly rig and set up programs!

In terms of life, there hasn't been any other updates in feeling or situation, so I'll cut this one short. Good night!

[lovingacura]

3AUG2023-2

Vtuber Spitballing

Last post was the very first, I talked a bit about wanting to be a vtuber, I'll take a lil bit of time to explain about it (and probably an irl update too)

Vtubers have been very interesting in concept to me, as they're normally just streamers who make personalities off of a gimmick or trope that they follow (like Mori Calliope and her unsurmounted confidence as a rapper which feeds into her streaming personality) with of course there being outliers and variety content done to keep the audiences. The entertainment industry is kinda weird but I wouldn't mind dipping my toes into it. I really also like their designs a lot, especially Tsukomo Sana's. I want to put a decent amount of thought into the design for my model so it'll take time but I'm mainly thinking about splitting it into two in a couple of ways. I either want there to be two counterparts depending on my mood (i'll talk more about it in the irl update) or a person with a ghost inside them (see previous thought.) For the former, it'd be a contrast of light and dark, with the light being really sprightly and energetic (see: Mako Mankanshoku) and dark being very gloomy in nature or appearance (Dwyer from Fire Emblem Fates.) The latter's design would probably focus on me being a combination of the two designs with a ghost coming out of me whenever I feel out of energy.

I know it's poor practice to try and continue when you're out of energy but I want my potential audience to see everything going on. Of course if things get too bad I'll just cut the stream as I never want to make people feel uncomfortable especially with the bad experiences I've had. Overall there's a lot of work to do and when I become a more proficient artist I will draw up concepts of these designs, and possibly new ones if I stick to new ones.

Now to the real world for a bit, things have been going as well as they possibly could. I am making progress in various aspects but stagnant in so many more, it doesn't feel like things are going to end until I put my foot down but it feels like there's a nail placed where I'd stomp. A couple of loved ones have been telling me to make a move but it's just so hard. I am trying to persevere because I want to do the things I like in the future while I take care of all the people I love. I still have time though, because I'm only ██ years old. Because of the lack of feeling of significant accomplishment, my mood has been volatile. On a decent day (like today,) I've smiled a bit and laughed a bit. On a bad day however, I'm typically in my room all day figuring out how I'm going to improve for the next day or letting my thoughts eat away at me.

Regardless, I'm fine currently!

Although it's not much I still wanted an art entry for today, so have a circle exercise I could've stood to spend much more time on.

Stuff like this explains why I fell through after a couple of weeks on a specific website that promoted doing art daily Q_Q. I will try to be more diligent for both you guys and myself though. Until then, see you all tomorrow. I'm going to bed again

[lovingacura]

2/3AUG2023

Post 1

Hello everyone current or future. I made this blog with a bunch of intentions but the main one being a time capsule/live progress feed. I'm going by Acura (no inspiration I just like the name) and I have a decent amount of aspirations.

I want to be an artist-turned vtuber. I've been in undesirable places to ask for advice and haven't really utilized them but I will eventually.

I want to get out of my current home situation so I can properly live on my own and enjoy myself

I want to grow to understanding myself more

The parameters of number 3 are kinda strange but in short, I feel like my soul left me some time ago. I still feel emotions but many of them are locked in my mind (e.g lots of recent suicidal ideation, do not worry I don't ever really commit) Which leads to a lot of conflicts.

But enough of that! More about me:

I do not like being around many of my peers.

I dislike celebrities of any and every caliber (ironic since I want to engage in what is online celebrityhood.)

I'm learning japanese but I'm elementary level and extremely rusty.

I have an extensive family, a good portion of which I love, but my condition will worsen and worsen if I interact with them more.

My favorite publisher, developer, whatever title you want to give for that accolade is Square.

I love FFX.

I am ?? years old and am in year ?? of university.

I also lie a lot but I will try to be much more honest on here for the sake of maintaining accountability.

Regardless, if this is used for a deep dive into my past if I'm successful or a police report if I've truly axed myself, welcome!

That being said, I'll draw tomorrow.