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U can grieve and still live life. U can miss loving someone and love others. You can hold onto the good moments and simultaneously the bad moments. You can take the learning from a person you let go off and use it for the better. You can love someone and they may not be the right person. You can wish someone the best and love them from a distance. You can think fondly of someone and never talk to them again.. mysteries of the world…
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The distance between us pulled the veil of illusion. Talking about you feels like indulging a forbidden fruit and if I am being honest, there is poison in my veins. The memories are slipping away but missing you in my slumber is better than waking up anxious. I am well aware that your hands may be tracing another figure at this very moment. You don’t even have to tell me you met someone. I dreamt of you and her on the night of my twenty secondth birthday. I blacked out before responding to everyone’s greetings—yours included. Deeper and deeper I sink.
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Andrea’s seventeenth birthday
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Each season of forgetting you brings out a different type of pain. I convince myself you don’t miss holding me in your arms. I can’t even remember half of the things we talked about and I can’t help but hold on just a little longer. How does one forget one’s touch?
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Fatherly Affection
They took me in on a rainy December night as we raised our wine glasses yelling ‘salute.’
The night a smile was plastered across your face as you watched me struggle to put on your jacket. The night I admired your relationship with your father. The night you planted a kiss on my forehead for the first and last time.
I know you felt it at the dinner table. What I had been missing my entire life.
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Reverse of a gold brooch, inscribed in Medieval French ‘Ours and Always at your Desire’, 1400. The Victoria & Albert Museum. Via: Erica Weiner.
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19 year old Fiona Apple photographed by Pablo Serrano in 1996
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