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Halazia (2022) - ATEEZ

By @popsiege

halazia aesthetic banners (click for HD)

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if you call yourself a feminist or a LGBTQ+ ally, but refuse to stand with our black sisters and brothers, i want you to know i’m ashamed of you. queer rights and women empowerment were built on the backs of black, latina and trans folks.

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The COVID-19 autocracy: when your neighbour dies

When someone you've known for all your life dies and he's not just a number on the news. No one is just a number on the news. What happens, what can you do? Nothing. I live in a small village and in my street we all know each other pretty well, especially those who live next to you. Our street became a small cluster of humans who can't cry, but just walk in circle around our courtyard, we can talk to each other at safe distance, but words are just broken. We didn't even know if he was home or at the hospital, we couldn't talk to the family, nothing. You might say "well, you should've called!": this thing takes away that too, they hid themselves, they didn't tell anyone what was going on cause it felt like a shame to be infected, they didn't want anyone to know. We knew cause we noticed they just disappered and they didn't come out, not even for a small stroll in the courtyard. We were just waiting, we were just waiting to see him coming outside after the quarantine, cause when you're sick you stay inside your home for 14 days straight and you just think that it's all it takes to feel better. But then, a grey van, when no car is around, started going back and forth. My mom saw it, she wanted it to be the man who brings us groceries, but it was not. She went out and took the courage to ask if the person was looking for someone. It was the undertaker van and he was looking for my neighbour's home. My mom started crying so loud everyone came out and then we just all went inside. That night, we left a note in their mailbox, to his wife and daughter: "we are in so much pain, but we are here for you and with you". The morning after she called called us, she wanted to tell us first thinking that we didn't know, obviously she didn't see the note. He was healthy, he was just over 70, the only thing she said was "they killed him, they don't know how to treat this thing". She knows they didn't kill him, but it's true that we still don't know how to save a healthy man, not even ICU and intubation was enough. The most cruel thing of this all is that you can't stay close to people, you see them before they hop on an ambulance and you don't see them ever again. You can't take care of them, you can't be with them when they go, you can't see them after. You don't know how they dress them (they can't even dress them actually) and they just get buried, alone. And you are at home, and those who love you can't stay close to you (they've also been put under quarantine and they can't be together, his wife is upstairs, her daughters downstairs). Yesterday I saw his dog in the courtyard and the first thing I thought was to cuddle her through the grid that separetes our properties. I just did it, I didn't even think she's from a home where the virus killed a person. My mom immmediately made me change my clothes, I washed my hands 10 times, I spent the day worrying I might got infected and what if I infect my parents and my two 91 years old grand-parents? Today I found myself in the garden crying, and my tears felt infected, everything feels infected. These days have been all sort of rough, my parents keep touching themselves to see if they are hot. My grandma went through the war, she lost her 18 years old brother, she had to take care of her deaf and paralyzed dad and went through so many tragedies we have traumas for generations. She didn't deserve to see this, to fear for her 31 years old grandchild, for my mom and my dad. No one deserved this.

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Making myself some rainbows, I need colours, I need hope.

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The COVID-19 autocracy: for all those who are curious what living in a quarantined country means

I'm from Italy, I live in a small village in the north, precisely in Lombardy, the most affected region. As of now, Italy is in a complete lockdown because of the COVID-19 pandemic. We are used to the concept of quarantine when it comes down to a small group of individuals that are kept isolated in specific structures to contain a virus. This is something unprecedented, a whole country is quarantined. What do you do when this extreme measure is applied to a whole country? Well, it's basically like living under the virus autocracy: your freedom is restricted, you have to justify yourself by a filled-in form where you declare under your responsibility where you're going (if you lie or you are not respecting the directives, it's a criminal act and you get sued). Actually, we can only leave our homes for three reasons: - to go to work (almost everything is locked down, but there are categories of people who are still working like grocery shops' staff, riders, couriers, workers and medical staff and paramedics — we see you, we are sorry and thank you to all of you). - to go grocery shopping (this is also regulated, you can only enter in small groups and you have to wait outside for your turn to come and you have to respect the 1-meter distance rule. Only one person per family can go out shopping and you have to do it in your own town, you can't go to the nearest town - it's allowed only if you live in a place where there's not even one small shop). - to go buy medicines (the same rules are applied, you have to wait for your turn to come and respect the 1-meter distance rule). Smart Working was basically non-existing here in Italy, but as of now a lot of people are trying to work from home. Imagine what this means for a country that's not used to this, it's a struggle. Classes are also in e-learning and professors are going crazy cause the connection is not the best in our country and a lot of families do not have computers enough for all their kids and they are spending a lot of money to print all the materials at home). If you have someone at the hospital or in a retirement home, you can't visit them. If you live in the same town as your parents, you can't visit them, only if they are in real danger and in case of emergency. Our healthcare system is in total overload, in Lombardy the ICU is saturated and they are starting to move people in other regions very far from home and the triage rule (saving the person with a longer life expectancy) might be applied very soon, if not already applied. The virus is spreading in the south of Italy where the healthcare system is, unfortunately, worse than here and I'm really worried. A lot of doctors, nurses and paramedics are getting sick cause they are being overexposed to the virus. To put everything in perspective: the local newspaper "Eco of Bergamo" (Bergamo is a city in the north of Italy, in Lombardy) usually reports deaths in one page. As of yesterday, all the deaths occupied 10 pages. If your loved one die in a hospital, they die alone and funerals are suspended. I’m no psychologist or psychiatrist, but we are all undergoing some sort of collective trauma, please take care of your mental health as well. Do not isolate yourself virtually: call your parents, friends or whoever makes you feel safe. Stay away from social networks and news cause here in Italy, now that the situation is out of control, you can’t escape the thing and it’s mentally exhausting. I’m at home with my family and we are all experiencing different types of feelings: from anger to sadness, from anxiety to powerlessness . It’s normal, validate how you feel and ask for help if you are overwhelmed. If you live in a country where the virus is starting to spread and your government is not doing anything to protect you, raise your voice cause this thing is no jokes. The virus itself is not the problem, the real problem is how freaking fast it spreads causing congestion in the healthcare system and its subsequent collapse: too many sick people at the same time, even the best system can't take it. Stay safe, stay at home the more you can, use face masks and alcohol-based hand sanitizer. We can do this!

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David Drake

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Ziqian Liu

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Saturn Through the Moon. Credit: Luis Rojas M.

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Geometry, Samm Escobar

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“Every time I hear a political speech or I read those of our leaders, I am horrified at having, for years, heard nothing which sounded human. It is always the same words telling the same lies. And the fact that men accept this, that the people’s anger has not destroyed these hollow clowns, strikes me as proof that men attribute no importance to the way they are governed; that they gamble – yes, gamble – with a whole part of their life and their so called ‘vital interests.”

— Albert Camus (via thestrangerdaily)

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by ziqianqian

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Ana Hard.

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Versace Fall-Winter 2019

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the blacks @ elie saab fall 19

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Kimsooja The chapel at Yorkshire sculpture park