lovelysongbird

[lovelysongbird]

I am convinced that if I had to choose a husband from the three brothers, I would still prefer the one heaven gave me: his character is steadfast and although he is awkward, he is as attentive and as kind as possible to me.

–Marie Antoinette to Maria Theresa, 15 December 1775

[lovelysongbird]

You know...things were going well with this show...then I got dragged into someone else’s shit and was left to clean up the mess.

I’m angry and I’m tired and as much as I wish I didn’t care I am only human and I want friends.

I hate being lied to.

And damn it I was finally feeling accepted and like I belonged again...

[lovelysongbird]

*sigh*

If you don’t want even the possibility of spoilers stay of the fucking internet.

[lovelysongbird]

I’m over it

IM FUCKING OVER IT

BYE

[lovelysongbird]

Avengers Endgame (2019) dir. The Russo Brothers

[lovelysongbird]

THIS VIDEO THO

Adam Driver stops by to facetime John Oliver on the season seven finale of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, November 15, 2020.

[lovelysongbird]

😭😭😭

The Avengers (2012) | Avengers Endgame (2019)

[lovelysongbird]

A LITTLE LATER

😠🖕

[lovelysongbird]

Filming the Battle Ground trailer, part 1!

[lovelysongbird]

[lovelysongbird]

So I worked from 7:45am to midnight today...eLearning sucks. My caseload is too big for the needs of these kids.

I feel like a failure as their teacher most of the time.

Bryan’s in a bad mood tonight too which doesn’t help...it also doesn’t help that I can feel my brain slipping into an episode...depression? Mania? I can’t tell yet.

My first instinct was to hop online and go shopping. So I’m either going down and trying to cope with my manic habits (and that never ends well) or I’m spiraling up and I need to hide my money and have someone change my password for PayPal.

I’m tired and wired. I’m overwhelmed with work right now and I’m just lonely.

I think the final straw was Instagram once again insisting I follow the ex friend. Like no...I don’t want to see her face so please stop. I don’t think about it often anymore, but when I get taken off guard it’s a real punch in the gut. Because I’m still human and that whole thing still really fucking hurt.

Tomorrow is going to suck. I’m going to be so tired and I get to start my day by taking a needle to the eye so there’s that.

I’m so glad to start rehearsals on Monday. I need to be able to funnel all this trash into something productive.

So I guess we’ll see what happens in the next couple of weeks. I’ve just doubled my meds for the next couple of days. I really hope I can nip it in the bud.

I don’t like the highs and lows...but I really don’t like dealing with the fallout.

Bipolar has really made its mark on my life over the last three years. I’m tired of it.

[lovelysongbird]

Anastasia (1997) dir. Don Bluth and Gary Goldman

[lovelysongbird]

[lovelysongbird]

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[lovelysongbird]

[lovelysongbird]