lovelycutebeauty

[lovelycutebeauty]

For me, for now.

Hi, I'm Sajan. Sajan Arun P, and I am no longer ashamed of my name but, I am still ashamed of myself. I'm working on that. I want to speak of things. I don't know what or how but I want to try and that counts. Doesn't it? . Snippets of me. With hints of advice. . Consider me your average human. I like things. I like doing things and I dislike things and dislike doing things. Somethings are more important than the others. I love more than I can hate. I even love that I have the ability to hate. So, your extreme optimist. This also indicates that I dream a lot. I have crazy energy backed up with spontaneous ideas. NOTHING CAN STOP ME. Other than, of course, the usual dry spell and depressive moods. I can function properly to an extent. I need recharge time which changes as steadily as my mood swings. . Don't apologise for what you feel. Hide it if necessary but never apologize. . I believe that words are words and should not be censored just like body parts. Although a disclaimer would be nice. Right and wrong should not be left to the unempathethic and unjust. I believe that everyone and everything deserves love and forgiveness. There can be necessary evils in the past but we must not continue using that excuse. Speaking of excuses, if you use them. Make up for it. Also, I'm agnostic. . You are the boss of you. Move accordingly. . Romantic relationships are important but, not the sole fucking reason of existence. Love people, love things, love beliefs, love yourself, love for Love's sake or don't. Up to you. Just don't be blinded and conceited. Love is supposed to be understanding and mindful. It is a mixture. It is wholesome. It can be felt. Love is nice. I hope everyone feels, falls and gets to be loved. Truly. . Never confuse drama with happiness. . I like to watch, write, listen, read, think, express, eat, drink and other various common human activities. You know, dissolve myself into the night sky with just enough stars. Binge watch shows. Binge eat ice cream. Start exercising and forget about it. I want to see more of the world..  Want to see more of my life. People, things, and unexplored parts of the universe! . There's more to your life than the eye can see. Explore in different ways. . I love people. Normal people. Broken people. Healing people. Growing people. I want to be able to help people. I may not be the best fit but I'm not meant to be saving everyone. I can only try to "never be cruel...always be kind" but, hey I'm broken and healing and growing too. I do not have all the answers. I don't even have my answers. I stick to my convenient ways and can only hope to get better ways. I want to help both you and me. To the best I can. . I want to get better, along with everything and everyone. . I also love caramel and butterscotch ice creams and milkshakes. I hate tomatoes, onions, brinjals, cinnamon, cloves, cardamoms, saffron and some people. I'm working on that. I love art and texts. Confrontations and frankness. Tv shows and friends. Movies and skies. Rocks and space. Music and writing. Chemistry and puns. Hugs and nice pillows. Alcohol and correcting grammar while I ignore mine. And much much more that I'll keep to myself. These are mine. I may share them and that's okay. . When I love, I love. . Maybe I love too much. I would've settled for that description but it doesn't work. I'm afraid of not loving enough. I don't know if I can love everything. Nope, I know it. I can't. I simply wouldn't be able to. I am human. I love what I can experience and that is limited. That's why I can never have favourites but I will later on. When I give up on loving everything. Maybe I'll decide that I've loved enough. Maybe I will know what and whom to love. Maybe I will. . At least that's what I think and hope. . I hate goodbyes. It crushes me each time. My defense mechanism isn't perfect. Bad days are when I'm not even Sajan anymore. I don't know how to feel. I can pretend. It's easier than it looks if you know a few tricks but it'll always slip out. I'm afraid that I'll grow up to be the equivalent of melancholy. Unfortunately, I romanticize that future. I somehow convinced myself that that is the best version of me. It's a guilty pleasure.  Let's move on. . Pain should be understood. Not hated. . Know this, ye who listens. What I have told you is merely the present's understanding. It will change. I will grow. I will break. I will heal. History may repeat itself, so might I. Take from this what you will, I have said my piece. . The tale is sung. Will you listen to more or will you sing your own?

-T.B

[lovelycutebeauty]

Strong People

Just because you have a higher pain tolerance, doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t be treated. 

[lovelycutebeauty]

How I hang onto life.

[lovelycutebeauty]

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Kaicho wa maid-sama.. Love this couple Source : epicbakasenpai

[lovelycutebeauty]

“ I love you”

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[lovelycutebeauty]

[lovelycutebeauty]

[lovelycutebeauty]