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Booty workout Day 1
25 squats 25 pile squats 25 donkey kicks per leg 25 fire hydrant both legs 25 circling donkey kicks per leg 30 hip lifts 30 lunge per leg
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Stop focusing on how stressed you are and remember how blessed you are. It could be so much worse.
(via motivated-mindset)
❤🦄
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dear brian, don’t you understand what you have done? you have broken my heart into 10 million pieces! i let my wall down for you. i let you in! i have been hurt so many times. i thought you were different! you made me happy. i truly fell in love with you. do you not realise how hard it is for me to trust someone? i trusted you and you just threw me away as if i were nothing to you. how can you say that you feel nothing? NOTHING. was i just someone for you to vent your anger at? yeah you can get me up the throat and assault me. i let that go because i loved you. i still love you. all i wanted was for you to love me. to protect me but all you did was hurt me.break me. make me cry and make me feel worthless. then you forget everything everything that we had just because your ex gets back on the scene. its not rocket science she was fucking with your head the only reason she wanted you back is because i had you she just can’t cope with the fact knowing that someone else had you! why does everyone take things from me. i had one wish. you knew that. i told you no. i begged you please don’t i don’t want to. you did it anyway you heard me scream you carried on. how how could you? you know what she can have you! i will get over you because i deserve better you piece of scum. your not even worth the shit on my shoe. your not worth my love. i am not going to let you break me down to nothing. i will keep my head held high and i will keep smiling but you, you will never be happy never. i don’t care anymore. what the fuck is love? I’m still breaking. day after day its killing me more and more. i just can not cope with the way you look at her. the way you looked at me. the way you wanted a life a future with me and you want that with her instead. why am i always thought about second why am i always second best? what have i done in life to deserve this. i thought you were different you grabbed my hand and danced with me in the street. you whispered i love you. you looked me in the eyes and smiled. i will never forget that smile. it stole my heart the way your cheeks fattened and you teeth embraced the happiness as if it were the only thing that mattered. your eyes were deep blue with green around the pupil. i was lost in them you captured me and made me fall in love with you. that was the exact moment i knew i was in love, it was as if nothing else mattered it was like it was only you and me in the world, everything else was a blur the only thing that i could see properly was you. if only i could see what was actually behind those eyes. the truth. the truth about you who you really were. who you truly loved. yes i fell fast for you it wasn’t my choice my heart just ignored my head. it wasn’t a mistake. i don’t regret it. but it just hurts. knowing i trusted you! i loved you i cared for you i tried fucking everything. and you just gave up on me. your mood changes quicker than anything. yes i know you have problems i understand that i have been through the same thing. why did you push me away? i could have helped you. i would have done anything for you i would have died for you. literally i would have died for you. the love that i felt for you was the strongest feeling i have ever felt it took over my whole body! i fucking lived for you and now your gone i have nothing to live for you kept my heart beating and the bad voices go. you came when i needed you the most. i was vulnerable and you just took advantage of me you fucking cunt! i want to know did you ever love me? even when i was carrying your child? wait i don’t need those answers from you i already know them, NO you never loved me, you didn’t care if i was pregnant you didn’t even want anything to do with me or our child, you had the cheek to deny it was yours when i was nothing but loyal to you! i stuck by your side through Fucking everything brian! and you haven’t even texted to see how i am. even when you knew i miscarried at 5 months i didn’t even get a call back. do you know what its like to lose a child? especially when its with the person you loved the most. it tore my heart out the pain was like i was being stabbed over and over knowing that i couldn’t even keep my child alive before it was born was hard enough but looking back at photos of us happy thinking back to the things we’d planned and realising that it had all gone. i just wish that you were there to help me to hold me and tell me it was going to be okay. you couldn’t even fucking do that are you even human? do you even have emotions? because you don’t show it even f you feel i’d never know. do you realise how many times i have contemplated death since all this? everyday. EVERY FUCKING DAY! you pushed me over the edge i was clean for 9 months brian i thought i was drug free but no i couldn’t hold back the temptation you were always the one to help but now you’ve gone for good. your a monster your fucking evil everything you have put me through and done and you feel no remorse, no sadness you just carry on living your life as if nothing has happened as if you never met me and like i don’t exist. but i suppose its easier for you that way because if you think i don’t exist you’ll start to believe it so then you don’t have to feel all that guilt. i hope to god karma gets you! id say death needs to consume your life like you consumed me, no thats too easy just kill you then it will be less of a worry for you to have to feel guilty. maybe seeing me day in day out for the rest of your life would be a good punishment maybe i could torment your mind like you did to me or maybe i act like you don’t even exist. How the fuck do i deal with this brian? theres no way out of this. my hearts still breaking its been months and months I’ve barley got my foot out of my bed. i still cry every night will it ever get better? what do you care? its not like your the one who’s suffering. yeah you joke around saying aha I’m like the joker I’m a fucking physco no no no its no joke you are crazy crazy for throwing what we had away. throwing me away! I’m better than her and I’m worth more than you. or am i?im sick and tired of people breaking my heart and pulling every feeling out of my body. I’m sick of getting hurt. i truly believed you wouldn’t hurt me. how stupid was i? to believe everything you said to let you in and let you just destroy me, nothing you ever said was the truth. i will never be able to hear i love you in the same way anymore it used to be the most heart filled words to me but now its nothing. how can i trust anyone? how can i move on when your on my mind all the time. i hate myself for loving you but yet no matter what i try i cant stop loving you. I’ve wanted to move on I’ve tried. sleeping with those lads was just horrible because it didn’t feel like it did with you. it had no emotion or anything we made love we didn’t just have sex. you cant deny that you loved me you cant deny it. please don’t deny it because i still have hope that you think about me as much as i this about you. was all of this worth it?ci really don’t know but brian i don’t just love you i am in love with you and I’m going off the rails not being with you. you were my spine and now you gone i can barely stand on my own two feet. no matter how hard i pray, beg and hope for us to get back to what we had i know that we cant because we are bad for each other we both want to kill ourselves daily and kill others we are unstable apart and we are a disaster together but sometimes disasters are natural and meant to happen. i can trust myself with you because ill do something crazy to protect you and keep you and i really don’t want to get dragged down. ill never forget the movie you took me to see on my birthday, that was the last time i saw you. the last time i ever will. but i guess this is goodbye. you know i hate saying goodbye because of the fear of missing you but i have to i have to let you go because if i don’t i wont be able to live my life i wont be able to be happy, I’m sorry brian but good bye.
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