love-and-confusion - Tumblr blog

[love-and-confusion]

Tired of being guilted & ridiculed just for existing.

[love-and-confusion]

Tired of my parents always saying “I do so much for you, I just want a little in return.” when they have not done anything for me in years. Ever since I got a job, I have been heavily self sufficient.

[love-and-confusion]

Then there is the whole aspect of ‘you must love yourself before you can love another’, which in my opinion is so ridiculously wrong. Saying that you must love yourself first is like saying that loving yourself is something with a start and finish, something with a clear end. People are constantly changing and facing hardships, meaning that love is changing with them. I would argue that it is far more important to understand yourself, then it would be to love yourself. Loving somebody, emotionally, is very easy if the circumstances and time are correct. It is putting that love into action that requires much more thought and attention. Love as an action requires a specific kind of understanding of oneself before they can even begin to hope to understand another. After all, what do big actions and gestures of love mean if you cannot even understand what you are seeking from this love yourself?

[love-and-confusion]

Can you love one ‘properly’? I think subconsciously when I started making friends, I had this whole idea of love in my head. Trying to give everyone the things that I did not have. I truly believed that everybody would need the things I lacked, and that I would never be enough for anyone unless I was meeting these standards. Of course, some people grew up with lots of gentle, physical contact, while other people grow up with none. Some people need lots of verbal reassurances, some dependent on actions. The results of these little changes in the way people were raised mean they will most likely rely on different aspects of a relationship. So the answer is no. You cannot love one ‘properly’. People will always require different things, and tiring yourself out trying to meld to one's needs will never be beneficial.