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👣👶 and he’s off! @rev.kyle.gould #CallanJoshua #walking #wheredidmybabygo #wereintroublenow #willwalkforpuppies https://www.instagram.com/p/Bme8L9ggE09/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=54rj2085ldq8

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This is the last post I will make, as I am tired of being sent hate as a result of asking for help. I have been homeless on and off for a few months now, and in and out of jobs due to homelessness, mental health, and an unreliable vehicle. My boyfriend’s paycheck goes straight to whatever bills we can pay (phones, insurance, etc) but we can’t even pay those most of the time because of my spotty paychecks. We only have my car, but no money for gas. We have a place to mostly stay, but no money for food or things like toothpaste or even clothes. Most recently, my car tags expired. I have no money to renew them, so we are traveling to and from work while constantly terrified. I also just had to spend all of my money on an abortion, and I’m very emotionally (and financially) wrecked from it. I am not trying to force anybody to help… However, I am ASKING for HELP. Begging, more like. If anybody can spare a reblog, advice, kind words, a few dollars, or even a PENNY. Please do. I can offer my musical abilities as compensation. Also, if you have any questions.. do not hesitate to contact me. Thank you for reading. Send me hate, your IP will be blocked.

My paypal- kaleiherbert@yahoo.com

Venmo- bubblebath2006

Cash app- bubblebath2006

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Available here: https://teespring.com/stores/pride-beach-towels

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😭😭

Your job in heaven is to look after the pets whose owners have not arrived yet. It’s your first day

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“our teeth and ambitions are bared” is a zeugma

and it’s a zeugma where one of the words is literal and one is metaphorical which is the BEST KIND

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I love St. Patrick’s Day 💚🍀 #stpatricksday #makeup #green #irish #irishandproud

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My bros I have been doing a lot of reading about Wacky WWII Hijinks lately and I want to tell you a story because I love it okay

once upon a time there was a dude in Spain named Juan Pujol Garcia. Pujol was a chicken farmer. Pujol hated him some goddamn fascists.

See Spain had recently ended its civil war, with the fascists taking power. So when WWII broke out in Europe, Spain technically remained neutral but in practice was buddy buddy with the Nazis. Juan Pujol Garcia thought this was pretty bullshit

so soon after war breaks out Pujol travels to his local British embassy and goes “hey I wanna spy on the Nazis for you”

“who the fuck are you?” say the British, and kick him out

but Pujol is not deterred! He still wants to dunk on some fascists, so now he goes to his local German embassy instead. “hey” he says, “I wanna spy on the British for you, I sure do hate them”

“yeah okay” say the Germans “that seems pretty legit”

and just like that Pujol now officially works for the Abwehr, the German intelligence agency. They hand him some spy gear (invisible ink and such) and instruct him to travel to Lisbon, and from there make his way into the UK. So Pujol heads to Lisbon, and a little while later writes to his German handlers telling them he’s made it to England

Pujol had not made it to England. He had, in fact, made it to the Lisbon public library, where he checked out a number of English guide books and set about just wholesale making shit up

this is slightly complicated by the fact that, for example, he completely did not understand British currency and all his expense reports were basically gibberish. He also reported things like bribing Scotsmen, because the people of Glasgow would “do anything for a litre of wine” (an actual quote) because, hey, people in Spain like wine so that’s probably the same right?

Here is where it starts to get really crazy, because the Abwehr loves this. “wow this dude is a great spy” they say, because apparently none of them had ever been the England either. In fact, they are so pumped about this new awesome spy that the British start to get worried

you see, by this time the British had cracked German’s supposedly unbreakable Enigma code and were totally dunking on the Nazis by reading basically all of their ~super top secret~ radio transmissions. And, crucially, they’d become so good at breaking and reading traffic that there were literally no German spies in England. The Germans would set up a spy drop (usually dropping dudes in by parachute in the middle of the night), the British would intercept the message and then just scoop the dudes up as soon as they landed in a move that must have been SUPER embarrassing to the spies

so there are no German spies in the UK because they’re all sitting in a prison run by MI5 (although some are being run under supervision as double agents, feeding Germany bullshit). But suddenly MI5 is picking up all this traffic from the Germans talking about their super great spy- a spy the British do not have in their jail

“oh shit” says MI5, and starts rereading all the transmissions they have to and from this mysterious super spy.

“hey wait” says MI5, upon actually reading the shit the spy was sending. “someone is playing silly buggers, pip pip cheerio”

At this point, Pujol, still in Lisbon, had actually been approaching the British embassy again, repeatedly, but apparently “I am literally an Abwehr agent and would like to offer you my services” wasn’t interesting enough, because he was repeatedly turned away, again. It wasn’t until MI5 started asking around that one of the embassy staff was like “oh yeah we know that guy”

so in 1942 the British finally make contact with Pujol and he officially becomes a spy for MI5. They move him to London and assign him a case officer so he can start making up even better bullshit

and he does. Once actually in London, Pujol reports to the Abwehr that he’d recruited a whole slew of informants- from a bunch of Welsh Aryans to disaffected army officers. He ends up with a network of 20+ sub-spies, all feeding him information from around the UK

none of these people actually exist

Pujol just straight up invented like 20 people, keeping careful track of their fake personalities, names, and activities. With the help of MI5, the information he sends becomes even better- a mix of true but ultimately useless facts and actually important intel timed to arrive in Germany just slightly too late to be of any use. He and his “spy network” become the Abwehr’s most trusted agents

Pujol, now codenamed Agent Garbo (for his acting skills), ends up playing a huge role in the run-up to D-Day, where the Allies mounted a huge intelligence campaign to convince Hitler that the planned site of attack was going to be Calais and not Normandy (this was Operation Fortitude and you should absolutely look it up for more Wacky WWII Adventures). Obviously you know how this ended

crazily enough, the Abwehr never figured out that Pujol was a double agent. After the war he received both the Iron Cross Second Class (which require personal authorization from Hitler), and a Member of the Order of the British Empire (from King George VI)

unable to resist being totally fucking ridiculous, Pujol turned down MI5’s post-war offer to continue spying, but this time against the USSR. “no,” he said “just help me fake my own death and then I’m moving to Venezuela”

and that’s exactly what he did. Juan Garcia Pujol died in 1988, at the age of 76

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That awkward moment when Hugh Jackman remembers he taught you at school [x]

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I got Ella

Time has an interactive feature to discover what your name would be if you were born today, based on popularity of your birth year vs. now.

My name would be Mylah. With all apologies to anyone named Mylah, I am now very happy to be named not Mylah.

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Headcanon accepted.

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What a beautiful laptop 😁Sporting new stickers from Christmas!

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I like autumn . It makes me feel that not only my soul is falling to pieces , also the leaves fall too.

maraa14, writing prompt #63: write about the beauty of autumn (via wnq-writers)

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When people talk about traveling to the past, they worry about radically changing the present by doing something small, but barely anyone in the present really thinks that they can radically change the future by doing something small.

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So happy to be doing tummy time while he watches #MadamSecretary #CallanJoshua #tummytime #happydude #latergram

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Aaaand now we’re married and our son’s name is Callan (which was totally unintentional by the way) @ncis_cbs @ncisla #CallanJoshua #Jethrothedog #NCISsuperfans #LeroyJethroGibbs #GCallan