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If we date, you gotta kiss me every 2 minutes

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‪my spirit guides went to the store for cigarettes and never came back‬

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I had a dream that I was in the middle of the ocean drowning but then my ex showed up in a life boat and suddenly I was able to part the sea and walk home.

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what was i even wearing before high waist jeans

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“Shaving your legs” more like, “Yoga in the shower with razor blades”

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I may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I am someone’s double shot of tequila.

Unknown

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Heterosexual: I have straight hair

Homosexual: I have curly hair

Bisexual: I have wavy hair

Asexual: I’m bald

Demisexual: I’m usually bald but I like to grow my hair out for special occasions

Pansexual: My hair texture depends on the humidity, the moon cycle, and whether or not Saturn is in opposition

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