lostbutlost-help

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meeting someone u loved & got your heart broken from after yearssss feels so bizarre. Like do i fight w u or do we talk or do we ignore each other ???

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Lord of the Rings was published in the fifties, and largely written in the forties. Tolkien’s opinions on society and morality and technology are at some points genuinely more conservative than what I’m comfortable with. And yet, the more I think about it, the more sure I am that Tolkien actually deconstructs most of the clichéd fantasy tropes he supposedly originates. Some examples.

The long-lost heir is not the hero, he’s a side character who deliberately uses himself as a decoy.

The real hero actually fails in his quest, his goodness and determination and willpower utterly fail in the face of evil, and the world is saved by a series seemingly unrelated good deeds.

The central conflict is not between destroying the world and preserving it. An age of the world will come to an end, and many great and beautiful things will perish, whether the heroes win or lose. The past may have been glorious, but preserving it is impossible, and returning to it is impossible, time has passed and the world has moved on. The king returns, but the elves are gone and magic fades from the very substance of Middle Earth. The goal is not to preserve the status quo, the goal is the chance to rebuild something on the ruins.

Killing the main villain seems to instantly solve the problem, eradicate all enemies and fix the world, except it doesn’t, not wholly, since the scouring of the Shire still has to happen.

Also, the hero gets no real reward, and what he gets, he cannot really enjoy. He is hurt by his ordeal, and never fully recovers.

There is a team of heroes, a classic adventuring party, except the Fellowship is together for less one sixth of the series. The Fellowship is intact from the Council of Elrond to Gandalf’s death, four chapters. The remaining eight are together until Boromir’s death, an additional six chapters. This is nothing compared to LOTR’s length of sixty-one chapters, if I count correctly.

Tolkien is not classic high fantasy. If you actually think about it, there is very little magic. The hobbits’ stealth is not magical, most elven wonders are not unambigously magical, wizards are extremely rare, and even Gandalf hardly uses magic if you compare him to the average DnD wizard. Most magic is indistinguishable from craft, there is no clear difference between a magic armor and a very good armor, between magic bread and very good bread, between magical healing and competent first-aid plus a few kind words.

TLDR: Stop praising recent fantasy for deconstructing Tolkien if they’re “deconstructing” something Tolkien has never actually constructed.

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Doing things for pretty men just cause they’re pretty gets pretty tiring pretty fast though doesnt it

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Victoria pedretti has ruined bly manor with her over the top acting and the fakest fakest FAKEST accent ever i cant stand her!!!!!!

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Lying is ok if it’s to protect yourself from physical / mental discomfort or harm (no matter how minor) and doesnt hurt anybody else in the aforementioned ways.

Never let anyone tell you otherwise

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Honestly its taken far too much effort for me to get out of my depressive phase where i act edgy and have an existential crisis on a daily basis and honestly i still have a long way to go so im sorry if youre in that headspace and completely empathise with you but i will NOT be dragged into it again just to make you feel like youre not alone. I respect myself and the headspace im in and the efforts ive put in to get here wayyy too much more than i care about you and honestly if theres anything wrong with that then i guess ill stay wrong because we’re not letting ANYTHING affect our mental health and happiness in this house ever again thanks and bye cause the person youre looking for is a therapist.

[lostbutlost-help]

Part 2

There is no part 2 i just wanna say that life is short kick out people from your life that make it toxic but cherish the good times youve spent with them and its ok to only cut the relationship to an extent that is stops being toxic u dont have to fully cut it

Prioritize your happiness always

[lostbutlost-help]

Farewell to someone Ive loved

Ive broken my first resolution for the year. Cut toxic people out no matter what. Thats what i wrote on my new green notebook named ‘Genius ideas’ on 3rd january, with 2 very specific people in my mind. One of whom is going away, possibly forever, to live in a new country, and who, at one point in time i loved with my whole heart.

I cant label the love romantic, hell i cant label the love anything. It was just love. Pure. Honest. Fulfilling. People called it people pleasing and sucking up but i didnt mind because what i shared with the guy was wayyyy above any petty snide remarks. I loved the guy and he loved me back or atleast i thought he did. I hoped he did. I still hope he did.

Ive always prayed for a mentor figure, and this isnt just a figure of speech, ive legit prayed to god in my namaz and everything to make me a progidy, make someone mold me and shape me and guide me and u know the whole shebang. And i guess he was the answer to it all. The year i worked with him was the best work ive ever done (maybe tarnished a little due to the other toxic person ive mentioned above and who i am determined to cut out of my life). Ive lived loved and breathed work. Work was me and i was work and there was no distinction and it was a high like heroin i wanted more and more and more and like a drug addict’s worst nightmare it was all taken away from me at the peak of my time and i was left broken and confused and angry and suicidal and completely shattered.

But he helped me regain some sense of self respect even though at this point he had no obligation to. Included me in when the world excluded me. Still made me feel like a part of the og group. Made my spine a little straighter and lift my head a little higher

And i love you for that

The sadness and happiness of the period in between is a story of another time but it made me realize alot about myself and how i want to live my life and who i am as a person.

And when my time came back to work with him again he announced that he was going to work somewhere else, another city. I cried for 2 days and begged him to let me work with him again even if for a few days only

My wish was granted

I arrived on the first day pumped up with adrenaline, looking forward to revisit a time long lost, a reunion, a rejoicing. But sadly the man i knew was no more. Or was it him and it was i who had changed, in his eyes? I was no longer treated like his favourite child and that wouldve been fine if maybe a little sad. But, i was treated like his most hated child. It was devastating. He constantly insulted me and my work, to a point where i had to cry my eyes out in the washroom.

And i thought to myself ke i have done the same amount of shit for this man then he has done for me? Do i deserve to take this shit?

Hence the 2021 resolution

...cont in part 2.....

[lostbutlost-help]

How to get energy??? to do stuff???

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People who think acting like they have unstable personalities is cool please stop your life is a literal shit show fuck offfffffff

[lostbutlost-help]

Kairos episode 5

Honestly lee taek gyu, kang hyun chae and seo do gyun are gonna get these hands if they mess with kim seo jin i stg no one mess with kim seo jin 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

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Fellas chingus its the birth day of moi and im gonna do something so cringy that yall gonna lose your shit

A song mood board 🤣🤣🤣

Khair the first one is

Let me check my chest my breath right quick 👉👈

And the second one issss

With an eng sub version also

So thats how I feel today folks

Wo blog hi kya jis mein oversharing na ho

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Kairos ep 4 part 2

I knew he’d turn out to be a villain i just knewww

But finally the itaewon class guy is getting some 💦💦 because he didnt get none in itaewon class 👀👀

Anyways, this episode was again a pretty weird one. Dont know whats gonna happen next and no new theories

Wait i actually do

New theory is that the guy’s wife planned the kidnapping of da bin so she could run away with the IC guy. But something went wrong with all of that. Idk sounds weird at this point so idk lez seee

Side note:

I am living for the main guy’s crying!! And not just him, literally everyone in the show is crying so realistically i can actually feel the pain of losing a kid and a wife and everything in life going to shit. Did they give crying classes to everyone before starting the show or what?

[lostbutlost-help]

Kairos episode 4 part 1 - A review???

Why am i doing this is not the point however cringy this looks i dont care i just wanna put my thoughts out there cause aaaaaa its been so long since ive watched a kdrama as good as this this is the stuff i LIVE for

First off i dont get how this isnt getting more attention???

Moving on to the actual episode:

Man i thought that theyd just prevent her death by having him call her and she’ll just pick up the phone and get tf out of the place cause the timing matched (the murder was after 22:50, he couldve easily called her at 10:33) and thats what seemed the most logical

But oh man did i forget to factor in the fact that the winner guy was now not dead and that he can save her my gosh brilliant linking!!!

Also why the fuck was his bodyguard at the kidnapper’s place?? And what the fuck was the end?? Its all so confusing at this point but also so so gooddd aaghh im loving this

My predictions for the next episodes:

Honestly nothing concrete at this point of time but i have a feeling that whatevers happening will probably be cause of the fact that they tampered with the timeline, like the main reason for the kidnapping and the disappearance of the mom will be the fact that they changed so many things in the past. And this is only based on the cliche followed by a lot of time parallel movies/tvshows/books that changing the past is always always a bad idea. But idk, kairos might surprise me and im hoping it will

Bonus:

Aaaah seungyoon from winner is amazing in this isnt he????

[lostbutlost-help]

Wow catch me abandoning my blog after just one day dammnm

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Now that im back to my horny self i think i have a pretty valid justification

The real power is making men sending their dicks. That is the real turn on

Feel free to rebut this my non horny self (ill call you patricia)

Everytime I get horny my brain decides that it is maybe the best idea in the whole world to ask for dick pics from men like crusty ass bitch have you forgotten how funny penises look?? And also the audacity of men to demand nudes in return??? You think my 2 boobs are equal to your wrinkly 2 balls? Bitch u thought lmao

[lostbutlost-help]

A new observation Ive made about myself: in light of events of the past few -very stressful and sad days- I tend to make stuff up inside my head about how I want my life to be and when it even slightly deviates, it just throws me wayyy off, to the point where I cant function for the whole day.

I am very emotionally unstable and I need to look up self help books to help me with that.