lost-einherjar-blog

[lost-einherjar-blog]

the beauty of dying star

characters: Loki Odinson, ásgardian!gender neutral reader

background: after Ásgard was destroyed by Surtur, before Thanos attacked the spaceship

summary: you try to find some place at the full spaceship where you can be alone and watch the universe but suddenly, you'll find out there's always someone to be your company

warnings: none

words: 646

You needed to get out of there.

You're fed up with the neverending company of other ásguardians, of your nervous family, of everyone panicking and worrying about things they could do nothing about.

Don't take it bad, you loved your family and your friends, but as you spent a whole week with them without a chance to escape, you started to be irritated with them. So, you started to search for places where you could be all alone.

Suddenly, you found this: a little room with walls made of glass, giving you the best view of the universe, of shining stars and racing meteorites. It used to be a stock or something—but right now, it became your safe zone.

You loved it with all your heart.

You would last hours and hours of just sitting here, back to the doors, browsing and studying the colorful universe out there.

Today, you were doing exactly the same thing. Hard floor didn't bother you as you were silently watching the fascinating and breathtaking phenomenon in front of you.

You were witness to the dying star.

It was a stunning show. You couldn't even look away for a second, worried it would disappeared of you did so. Watching that explosion of hot red and cold white and blue, escaping from the captivity after a long, long time.

That star was gorgeous before. But now...

“Why is a star this beautiful only after she dies?” You even didn't realize you said that aloud... until the answer echoed in your ears.

“Everyone’s most beautiful era starts after he dies.”

Response was something you didn't expect at all since you believed you were all alone. For a moment, you freeze completely, then turned quickly in the direction the familiar voice came from.

You met a calm expression of a sharply cut face, ice blue eyes studying you curiously, raven black curls disobediently falling into his field of view.

Recognizing him immediately, your head just couldn't stop trying to figure out what's the younger prince of Ásgard, the god of illusions, lies and mischief, doing here, sitting on the floor in the opposite corner, perfectly still. And how the hell didn't you notice his presence sooner?

But somehow, your brain concluded his response is worthy of your attention more than your questions about him being here. So, you rather started to think about what he said. Questions that loose their emphasis as you go along are more important than questions you can ask whenever you want.

“But why? It's too late when they're dead, why don't they shine this bright while they're still alive?”

A bittersweet smile flied over his lips. “Because, when they're still alive, you don't miss them, not really, even when they're long gone for some reason.”

“What's that huge difference between long-term lost and death? After some time, you loose your hope anyway.”

“Maybe, but still. If you lost someone not by dead, there's always this little sparkle of possibility they'll return to your life. Only when they die this sparkle is gone, and you have that feeling you've lost something important, something that isn't coming back to you. And it doesn't really matter if it's a thing, a person or a star—after you lost something, there'll be the sentiment making you thinking about it way more positive than anytime before.”

“That's sad.”

“Is it?” he raised his eyebrows, looking directly at you. “It is true. Noone really cares til you're dead so they could mourn and make you a saint.”

“Speaking from experience...?”

“You have no idea,” it's the only response you got before he again devoted his full attention to the dying star, exploding in the distance and slowly stopping existing.

You just sat there, sinking in the silence, thinking how unfair it is to not be able to become this beautiful and loved during your life.