losgargantilla-blog

[losgargantilla-blog]

He'd found himself unable to return to Rome for some time, after parting ways with Cesare. Too much pain and grief, and reminders of all that he'd done wrong -- every incident in which he'd lost himself. All the times he'd fallen in love, every hasty decision. Micheletto simply wanted it over with. Love was a young man's game, and never before in his life did he find an opportunity to truly feel young. The few times he did always ended in hurt, for one party or the other.

The city was dusted with white when he finally returned, snow scraped thin over the rooftops and the ground. Handing the reins of his horse to a stable boy who'd rushed over to take them, he nodded in acknowledgement and gratitude, then adjusted the cloak he wore. He'd visit Leonardo, then be off to find his master.

[losgargantilla-blog]

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[losgargantilla-blog]

Are you.. going away too, Micheletto? *keeps her head down, frowning*

*frowns, resting a hand on her shoulder* Only for a little while, Viola... I need some time to clear my head.

[losgargantilla-blog]

Do you WANT to be with Cesare?

Of course I want to be with Cesare.

But Cesare -- as he himself stated -- wants me to leave him... What else am I to do if he is so insistent on avoiding me?

[losgargantilla-blog]

"...Right," giving a light nod, he gently squeezes his neck before moving away from him, deciding to leave more quickly. "I will be back in Rome soon enough, if you change your mind."

@Micheletto

“Not as sorry as you’re going to be….” 

[losgargantilla-blog]

I hate to laugh, but seriously? You're going to leave both of them? Yeah, I don't see that lasting for very long. Not without some serious repercussions.

I am tired of making people unhappy.

[losgargantilla-blog]

"...You cannot promise me that," he offers a sad smile, briefly leaving the door to step back over and wrap his shaking hands around the back of Cesare's neck, pressing their foreheads together. "I will find you. And if I do not, then I will not live..."

"...I am so sorry..."

@Micheletto

“I could never find it in my heart to hate you.” He whispers the words, his voice cracking as he continues to speak. “You are released from whatever hold you believe I have on you. You will not find me when you return. That I promise.”

[losgargantilla-blog]

Don't be a coward, Micheletto. You need to pick. Either stay with Cesare or leave to be with Leonardo. If you don't decide now, Cesare is going to decide for you. Make a decision once and for all.

Neither.

[losgargantilla-blog]

"I am not going back to him -- I will go to Milan. Or perhaps to Spain to see if my father is dead yet, as I am sure you could use that much time alone," opening the door, he looks back to the other leans against the frame for a moment, looking more sad than he is angry or anything else. "Do you hate me?"

@Micheletto

“Fine. Go back to him. Just like I’ve been telling you to all this time.”

[losgargantilla-blog]

"No need," he pushes himself off the wall, exhaling deeply as he heads for the door. "I will pack my bags and be gone by morning."

@Micheletto

“I employ him because I thought he was my friend and he’s a genius above all.” He scrubs his eyes harshly. “I need to leave. I need to go. I can’t deal with this right now.”

[losgargantilla-blog]

"Why employ him, if he is such an outstanding threat?" he shuts his eyes, giving himself a moment to rest in his head before continuing. "He is no Assassin, Cesare. Ezio rarely contacts him even for social visits... And even so, it is not as though I am taking documents from your office and handing them to him. I know when and when not to disclose information."

@Micheletto

“Have you worsened the - ” He takes a deep breath before looking at him again. “You are sleeping with the man who has aided Ezio Auditore, the man who is trying to kill me, every step of the way in his quest. You might as well chop off my head and put it on a pike above the castello yourself.” 

[losgargantilla-blog]

At that reaction, he looks to the floor, deciding it best to give Cesare his space.

"...Have I worsened the situation?"

@Micheletto

“Leonardo…?” He presses a palm to the wall, bending at the waist, as his other hand covers his mouth. ‘I think I’m going to be ill….”

[losgargantilla-blog]

Micheletto's throat tightens when he takes that information on board, though he realizes he brought it upon himself. Barely a second after Cesare finishes speaking, he blurts out, "Leonardo," arms folding over his chest in discomfort.

"...It is Leonardo, we can trust him. I am certain we can trust him," he swallows thickly, ridding himself of the strain in his voice and for once, retaining his composure. He almost seems calmer with that weight off his chest, his eyes fixed on Cesare's. "...While I will not lie to you by saying he receives less physical affection from me than you do -- If you think that I love him more than I love you, then you are a mad man. I simply do not wish to hurt him."

@Micheletto

“You say you love me above all others, but you refuse to leave your lover. You say I am stronger than him, but when I cut you off, you lose your mind. Do you not realize how much it hurts to receive any sort of affection from you knowing someone else is getting the same and more?” He stares at him with great distress. “I don’t even know who this person is for God’s sake. How am I supposed to talk to you without being afraid you will tell him my secrets? How do I know that this man is not simply using you to garner information? Micheletto, I can’t trust you when you have him.“ 

[losgargantilla-blog]

Honey, you're living in a fantasy land. The cold hard reality of this situation is that someone is going to get hurt. You need to man up and make your decision then live with the consequences no matter how unpleasant they may be.

After Cesare was kind enough to walk me through the outcomes, I am already reaching my conclusion. I have been contemplating it for several days and I very much dislike it, but it seems the fairest option.

[losgargantilla-blog]

"I try, believe me," he looks to his feet. "...Explain your perspective to me, then. Perhaps I might understand better."

@Micheletto

“Can you not think about this from my perspective? Just once?” 

[losgargantilla-blog]

How is it that you care about Cesare above all others, yet you won't leave your lover for him? That makes no sense.

Believe it or not, I wish to work around this -- somehow -- in a manner that will have Cesare remain happy, but not destroy my lover's happiness.

[losgargantilla-blog]

"Because you refuse to believe me," Micheletto stepped back, leaning against the wall and lifting a hand to run through his hair. "Honestly, Cesare..."

@Micheletto

“I do not wish to discuss this once more.” He waves his hand dismissively. “We only talk circles around each other.”