lorryborry - Tumblr blog

[lorryborry]

‪rabbit owners to anyone:‬ ‪rabbits are underrated, they’re so sweet and soft and quiet

‪rabbit owners to other rabbit owners:‬ ‪my round loaf of a bitch smells bad and she won’t stop kicking her food around‬

[lorryborry]

Every post apocalyptic game is all about violence!! I just wanna decorate my abandoned subway home with fairy lights!! Throw parties with other gas masked survivors!! An Animal Crossing x Stardew Valley inspired game where I can grow giant potatoes and date a buff mutant!!

[lorryborry]

no offense elder but maybe our village wouldn’t be dying if you didn’t keep using up all our water for your gigantic fucking bong

[lorryborry]

my favorite grindr meeting was the time a guy who was like 20 invited me over to his house and i got there and he messaged me “i’m showering but the door is open so just come in” so i did and i sat down on a sofa in his living room and joanna newsom was playing lightly over the speakers and there were a lot of potted orchids everywhere and there was a large bronze male nude in the dining room that i could see from where i was sitting in the living room. eventually he came downstairs and sat at the other end of the sofa from me and started eating a large tupperware container of watermelon and he was like “listen, i’m trying to get this thing off the ground, like, some new gay slang. ive started saying ‘imagine’ whenever something is really weird or funny. do you think you could start using it?” and i was like “……ok” and eventually he finished his watermelon and wordlessly offered the container of watermelon juice to me and i was like “no thanks” and he was like “sorry, thought you seemed like the type of guy to drink the juice after you finished the watermelon” and then he said he had to go to a miz cracker show and asked me to leave. we did not fuck.

[lorryborry]

every night after 10pm my feelings start crawling out, starved, as i beat them with a moderately large stick vigorously hissing “stay back” until i inevitably fall asleep

[lorryborry]

[lorryborry]

[lorryborry]

just a dude & his skateboard

[lorryborry]

[lorryborry]

Ye Olde Time Man 1: what happened to thee?

Guy who severely burned self and is about to make up dragons: thee haven’t heard?

[lorryborry]

me: i gotta stop pickin at my skin

my left hand, the instant it is not preoccupied, roaming my entire epidermis in search of imperfections to scratch off: unfortunate

[lorryborry]

Shrimp Heaven Now is a Dragon Shout

[lorryborry]

Aaaaaah! One feels like a duck, splashing around in all this wet! And when one feels like a duck, one is happy!

[lorryborry]

Reach WITH IN To your LOCAL bog and you may find A Friend And Boy…

[lorryborry]

[lorryborry]

becoming an adult is essentially having all your friends in different cities and permanently missing someone

[lorryborry]

who has the image where it says albert einstein lived in a house made of cheese and failed the driving test 8000 times