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lorrainesgratitudejournal · 1 year ago

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Aug 10 8:16 AM

I woke up feeling good today. 🌸

I had a good dream.

I was talking to ate charm, and she has a girlfriend.

We were catching up and I was having a lot of fun.

She was so cute. She had makeup on and she looked like a bubbly person. Her hair was short. and she looked so young.

I told her, “How old are you now? Cause you look like you’re 25.”

She had hair clips and she really looked like a cheerful, cutie teenager.

When I woke up, I had a feeling that I will have a friend, not too long from now, a friend that I will genuinely enjoy the company. A friend who I can laugh with.

But of course, like any interaction, my conversation with ate charm in my dream was no walk in the park. I had anxiety and shyness at first. But I was there in my mom’s old room in shelter, and we started to talk. And then I became comfortable enough that I could be ruffling through her hair, saying she’s a baby. It was really soft too. We were talking about her and her girlfriend, what she feels about her, how they are together, and how she went to another country as well.

Actually, in this dream, we were in another country, not the Philippines. And she was talking about she doesn’t want to go back to the Philippines and I felt the same way. Then her girlfriend went into the room and I had to give them some privacy because they were already hugging each other and giggling.

Then I went up the second floor (We have no second floor). Jaq, Jessie, and Sandra was there. Jaq was watching several horror thriller movies on her phone. Jessie was playing with this puzzle. Sandra was covered so I didn’t see much of what she was doing. Same in my dream, Jessie was still a jerk. He purposely didn’t eat chicken cause I put it on the table. And I felt the same hostility from him in my dream. I approached Jaq and tried to watch with her, but being in this room was such a contrast to when I was talking with ate charm. It was gray and dull.

One thing about this dream is that it was so vivid. Like it was happening in real time. And when I woke up, I remember every single detail from it. Usually, when you have a dream, you forget, but with this one, I felt so uninhibited.

Waking up from this dream. I realized the people that I want to find and befriend are those with good energy, those who are light to be with and are light themselves. I don’t want people who make me feel bad about myself, like I’m a bad person, cause I’m not. I don’t want people who are secretly wishing for your downfall. I don’t want people with self-destructive tendencies. I want people with dreams. I want people who strive to build a good life. I want people who care about their life, and soon, about me as their friend. I was able to distinguish what type of people I want to be with after waking up from this dream.

Lying in my bed, with fresh linen, looking at the mirror, having taken a bath a day ago and brushed my teeth last night, I felt really good physically and mentally. I have this feeling that I realized who I am and what I want in life. I like really beautiful things or cute things. I love pink. I love nature. I want to be surrounded by love and beauty. I want to live that life. I want to be a girl’s girl. I want to be girly. I love bows and dresses and skirts. I love the shoujo aesthetic. That is my dream life that I will be on for the rest of my life.

And I’m on my way. 🌸

#everyday appreciation

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