lookingforagentmurphy

[lookingforagentmurphy]

A couple of months ago I went to Santiago, Chile to attend Lollapalooza 2017. It was my first time in South America and I was excited as fuck.

The first thing I did when I arrived at my Airbnb was getting Tinder... yes I know but you can’t judge me, I wanted to see how good looking the Chileans are (cause they are) so I started to swipe and swipe, giving some likes and I was like “Damn, why don’t we have men like this in Mexico?”.

I must say it wasn’t my goal to get a date because I was going to stay just a few days and my friend and I had this tight schedule so I downloaded Tinder just to check the material, to see if maybe something could happen. However, I got a lot of invitations to hang out, there was even this guy who invited me to Lolla, I was like “thanx but I’m already going with someone, that’s why I’m here” and I was getting a little bored until I saw his profile... GODDAMMIT, he was this gorgeous guy with amazing eyes and a Condorito® mug on his hand, it was the fastest like I've ever given and I leave the apartment to see the city with my friend. I fell in love with the architecture of Santiago, it is unreal, we went to museums, to the zoo and when we were at the Metropolitan Park on a cableway I got the message “Congratulations, you have a new match!”, yes, it was the guy with the pretty eyes and I started to talk with him. I barely remember the texts but he asked me out and I didn’t know what to answer because I had a trip really early the next morning and well, you know I was traveling with someone else and I didn’t want to leave my friend alone but she was very encouraging so I said yes to him and when I was in the apartment the reality hits me like I’M GOING TO MEET THIS GUY, WTF! WHAT SHOULD I WEAR? WHAT IF HE DOESN’T SHOW UP?  WHAT IF HE DOENS’T LIKE ME? WHAT IF I GET BORED? WHAT IF HE RAPES ME? You know, the usual thoughts you get when you are going to meet someone from Tinder.

We were going to meet at the subway but he told me he didn’t have cellular data so he was going to pick me up at my apartment at 9 pm, at that time I didn’t know what to do so I told my friend “Dude, I’m gonna go to the lobby and I’ll text you my location just in case”. I was wearing a dress and a blue sweater and I was nervous as fuck, when I ran out from the elevator I didn't see him until I heard them talk, he was with the manager asking for me and I turned to say something and you are not going to believe how handsome he was... and how great he smelled. We went out and started talking about ourselves, he took me to this place to keep talking and have drinks, he ordered me a pisco sour and the conversation was fucking awesome, we talked about a lot of stuff. I just couldn’t help to think that I was having a great time, he was so smart and the connection was surreal. I felt like I was living this Before Sunrise remake but also I was feeling in Narcos because he looked like Agent Murphy, I mentioned it and he didn’t like to look like “the gringo”, of course.

He was an Austrian living in Santiago, he talked to me about some life experiences and showed me his job as a photographer and I’m someone who loves photography a lot, in some part of my life I wanted to be a photographer, I actually took some classes years ago and I was shocked with his photographs, they were really beautiful...I felt his eyes on me while I was smiling for his amazing job and once again I felt this Before Sunrise thing.

He asked me if I wanted another drink, I said no so he asked for the bill and of course, I put my wallet on the table, I’m an independent woman who doesn’t really expect or like that the man pays for everything.

- I got it, don’t worry

- Are you sure?

- Yes, why? Are you impressed?

I wasn’t but I thought he was cute for asking that. He was such a gentleman. We started to walk and I was still fascinated about Santiago, so for me, it was perfect, walking through those beautiful buildings and talking about life and connections, actually he asked me about my beliefs:

- What do you believe in?

- Energy and connections

- A connection with someone?

- With people, places, things... anything.

- Yeah, I think that too

We smiled and I asked him if it was safe to walk at 2:00 am in Santiago, he told me that he never was robbed and he will never be. I started to laugh:

- How do you know that?

- Because I asked my pendulum 

That was the sweetest answer and so fucking unexpected so I smiled at him and he went so close to me, I got really nervous so I started to cross the street and when we were in the middle of the avenue he kissed me... I don’t remember why but I called him Agent Murphy and then I said his name. I think he was surprised that I knew what his name was because of the look in his eyes. We walked to my apartment and when we got there we kissed more and I was really hating myself because I knew that I couldn't invite him, I was sharing the room with my friend and he mentioned before that he had visits from Austria...

- So... are you gonna invite me to come in?

- I’d love to but I can’t, my bed is right next to my friend’s.

We didn’t know what to do and I said to him I was tired and needed to get some sleep because of my trip to Los Andes in a few hours so we said goodbye to each other and it was like fucking Before Sunrise all over again.

And then I was in my bed full of regret, but I also thought to myself "This is a great story..., just leave it like that”, I also thought I was there to have fun and that I was going to see my favorite band the next day after that, so why should I care? 

But I did care, I texted him but then I felt so dumb because I was gonna leave Santiago in a few days, so I made the stupidest thing... I deleted my account.

Back to Mexico City, I was feeling weird and more regretful, thinking about the “what if...” because we don't have any way to contact, I mean this is the millennial era but it feels like fucking 1995. How dumb am I? Did Celine or Jesse felt this way when they split? Wanting to talk to each other but didn't have any clue of how to do it?

I wanna find him but with the few things I know about him I can’t do nothing, it seems it’s not easy to find someone on the internet. I would like to fucking see him again. I really wanna talk with him. I need to know if he thinks about that night the same way I do and of course, I would like to fuck him and see those freaking eyes looking at me.

And the thing about energy and connections we talked about was so real that sometimes I just think we are going to see each other again. Could it be?