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The Fashion of Mr Darcy in Pride and Prejudice (1995)

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The definitive Fitzwilliam Darcy eyeroll gif set. In chronological order.

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It's an open notes test and some dense motherfuckers still can't figure out the answers.

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what do you mean elon musk did a nazi salute on live tv at the united states presidential inauguration twice and is now erasing the evidence off the internet by replacing the footage with the crowd cheering instead?

would be a shame if people reblogged this, wouldn’t it?

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Your favourite Lost character is not about who’s the best person, it’s about who you most enjoy watching stumble through the jungle shaking like a wet dog. Bonus points if they’re crying about their dad.

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cute things to call your significant other:

• catholic whore • black jewish boyfriend • military abortion clinic • hail satan • lovely afternoon • madam

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Things That Make Me Ship Them:

height difference

opposite yet complimentary personalities

one has Tragic Backstory, the other has Well-Adjusted Childhood (occasional)

Is the movie directed by Matthew Vaughn? They’re gay.

one has a superiority complex, but considers the other their equal/better than them in some way (occasional)

FRIENDSHIP

Could one of them cut themselves on the other’s jawline? Yes? They’re together.

stand/sit/lean very close to each other a lot

when their eyes soften as they look at each other.

SASS

unconsciously flirting

that little smirk the quiet one does when the talkative one makes a joke/back-sasses authority/shows off/is generally a little shit.

I just really really really want them to be happy and they seem like they’d be good for each other.

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For any relocated TikTok users

you can say sex and kill its fine

If you don't have a profile picture people will assume you're a bot

theres barely an algorithm, if you want to see cool shit reblog things instead of just liking them

follower count doesnt matter

tumblr fame gets you one thing and it is Yelled At

no one knows what the fuck the nsfw policy is

block anyone that annoys you even a little bit

And most importantly:

post cringe

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I just found the funniest font ever

Like. What is this. Why is this. Who is the target audience of this?

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The Ocean, Me, MS Paint, 2022

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Colin Firth (Part 2 - THE DATA)

You can read my intro here.

When I ran the data, Colin Firth had 90 acting credits on IMDB (in 40 years! The man's been busy!)

I wanted to set some parameters, so I excluded anything where the overall project was under an hour of runtime.

(DVD bonus content, short films, one off TV episodes. You'll notice Crown Court is over an hour, but as a one off TV episode, I excluded it as well. PS it was his first onscreen appearance, as a baby face cop)

I also excluded anything where he has <5 minutes of screentime.

(The record might be the 1987 Secret Garden, where he's got about 90 seconds. Honestly forgot I was watching a Colin Firth film until he showed up right before the credits)

I also excluded this

because dear god, no thank you I didn't want to watch that shit (I'm only partially kidding. I'd watched literally everything else so I watched this one too, it wasn't that bad)

This left us with a very respectable 76 films that I tracked data for!

SMOKING

The highest percentage of what I tracked was whether he smoked.

(sidenote, check out that 10 year period where he had TWENTY FOUR PROJECTS)

I assume this is common for anyone who made films in the 80s or 90s, when smoking onscreen was more prevalent. Out of curiosity I broke it up by when the film was set, because he does a lot of period pieces, and found that yes! Things do taper off as the public perception of smoking changed.

(I was very broad with what I considered a "period piece", mostly because I didn't start making this powerpoint until 10pm the night before I presented, because that's who I am as a person) The numbers didn't show for actual movies, but in the 2000s there were only 2 movies where he smoked, out of the 19 that he filmed. Probably because it shifted to instead of everyone or cool kids, only villains and bad guys smoke.

INFIDELITY

I also tracked infidelity, separating out whether his partner was unfaithful to him, or whether he was the one to be unfaithful or help a committed person be unfaithful.

These percentages are of all his movies. He gets cheated on 15.8% of the time, poor guy.

GRIEF

Did you know that in a quarter of his projects, he explores grief?

I determined that there were two main types of grief - the death of an intimate (mostly a partner, occasionally a family member), and wartime PTSD.

But that's not what you're here for. I know you. You wanna see how often he got

WET

THIRTY PERCENT. That is almost every third project!

I separated it out where the water goes on him (rain, shower, fountain, fire hose) or where he goes in the water (ocean, pond, lake, bath). A Single Man is special, because there's a scene where he's in the rain, and a scene where he's in the ocean (and in the credits, he's floating nude underwater, just saying).

That seems like a lot! I don't have any comparison data (yet, waiting for my brain to embark on another unhinged project) but that seems like more than other people.

I have one more point to share with y'all

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Colin Firth (Part 1)

In 2010, Colin Firth won an Oscar for his performance in The King's Speech.

You may also recognize him from things like

Pride & Prejudice

or the Bridget Jones series

or Love Actually

or Mamma Mia!

or Kingsman

He's talked about how he likes to take roles that were different than the last one he played, and often overlaps jobs, which means that he was alternating filming for Mamma Mia, an Abba musical about a wedding

at the same time that he was filming A Summer in Genoa, a film about dealing with the grief of the death of his partner in a car crash

Not to be confused with Trauma,

a film about dealing with the grief of the death of his partner in a car crash.

Not to be confused with A Single Man,

a film about dealing with the grief of the death of his partner in a car crash.

Not to be confused with Supernova,

a film where he's in the car with his partner, dealing with the grief of his imminent death. Very different.

But that's not what we're here for. The real question is,

How often does Colin Firth get wet??

I found out -

Check it out here!

[lonelywhale-5-2]

Colin Firth (Part 2 - THE DATA)

You can read my intro here.

When I ran the data, Colin Firth had 90 acting credits on IMDB (in 40 years! The man's been busy!)

I wanted to set some parameters, so I excluded anything where the overall project was under an hour of runtime.

(DVD bonus content, short films, one off TV episodes. You'll notice Crown Court is over an hour, but as a one off TV episode, I excluded it as well. PS it was his first onscreen appearance, as a baby face cop)

I also excluded anything where he has <5 minutes of screentime.

(The record might be the 1987 Secret Garden, where he's got about 90 seconds. Honestly forgot I was watching a Colin Firth film until he showed up right before the credits)

I also excluded this

because dear god, no thank you I didn't want to watch that shit (I'm only partially kidding. I'd watched literally everything else so I watched this one too, it wasn't that bad)

This left us with a very respectable 76 films that I tracked data for!

SMOKING

The highest percentage of what I tracked was whether he smoked.

(sidenote, check out that 10 year period where he had TWENTY FOUR PROJECTS)

I assume this is common for anyone who made films in the 80s or 90s, when smoking onscreen was more prevalent. Out of curiosity I broke it up by when the film was set, because he does a lot of period pieces, and found that yes! Things do taper off as the public perception of smoking changed.

(I was very broad with what I considered a "period piece", mostly because I didn't start making this powerpoint until 10pm the night before I presented, because that's who I am as a person) The numbers didn't show for actual movies, but in the 2000s there were only 2 movies where he smoked, out of the 19 that he filmed. Probably because it shifted to instead of everyone or cool kids, only villains and bad guys smoke.

INFIDELITY

I also tracked infidelity, separating out whether his partner was unfaithful to him, or whether he was the one to be unfaithful or help a committed person be unfaithful.

These percentages are of all his movies. He gets cheated on 15.8% of the time, poor guy.

GRIEF

Did you know that in a quarter of his projects, he explores grief?

I determined that there were two main types of grief - the death of an intimate (mostly a partner, occasionally a family member), and wartime PTSD.

But that's not what you're here for. I know you. You wanna see how often he got

WET

THIRTY PERCENT. That is almost every third project!

I separated it out where the water goes on him (rain, shower, fountain, fire hose) or where he goes in the water (ocean, pond, lake, bath). A Single Man is special, because there's a scene where he's in the rain, and a scene where he's in the ocean (and in the credits, he's floating nude underwater, just saying).

That seems like a lot! I don't have any comparison data (yet, waiting for my brain to embark on another unhinged project) but that seems like more than other people.

I have one more point to share with y'all

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last year when i posted this people melted down and went out of their way to misinterpret the purpose of this exercise and just say insane racist shit; the goal is to get you to reflect on whether or not you engage with black music and black art and artists, and if you seem to avoid doing so, to ask yourself why that is

if you would like, feel free to share the song/artist in the tags to share recs! always easier to begin or continue diversifying your listening habits with suggestions :)

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Good morning! I’m salty.

I think we, as a general community, need to start taking this little moment more seriously.

This, right here? This is asking for consent. It’s a legal necessity, yes, but it is also you, the reader, actively consenting to see adult content; and in doing so, saying that you are of an age to see it, and that you’re emotionally capable of handling it.

You find the content you find behind this warning disgusting, horrifying, upsetting, triggering? You consented. You said you could handle it, and you were able to back out at any time. You take responsibility for yourself when you click through this, and so long as the creator used warnings and tags correctly, you bear full responsibility for its impact on you.

“Children are going to lie about their age” is probably true, but that’s the problem of them and the people who are responsible for them, not the people that they lie to.

If you’re not prepared to see adult content, created by and for adults, don’t fucking click through this. And if you do, for all that’s holy, don’t blame anyone else for it.

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Austen adjectives cheat-sheet

I made a venting post about the struggle to not use superlatives in Jane Austen fanfic, but now I want to more seriously share my cheat-sheet of Austen adjectives with you, for use when trying to write in Austen’s style.

Some of these words have changed from how we typically use them nowadays, at least in US English (my native language); I’ve marked these with an asterisk * so you can pay special attention and be careful how you use them.

Please note that I’m no linguist or literary scholar; this is just a casual collection I pulled together for personal use writing fanfic, and is based on my own interpretations of Austen’s wording. I make no claims for this being academically robust, flawless, comprehensive, or nuanced. Again, it’s just a cheat-sheet.

Adjectives:

Mid: tolerable (do not use fine!)

Good: good, nice, well, pleasant, agreeable, fine*, amiable, pleasing, lovely, estimable

Really good: very good, exceeding(ly) good, very agreeable, delightful, excellent, splendid, first-rate, exemplary, exquisite, capital (do not use great!)

Satisfying: satisfactory*, acceptable*, gratifying

Sufficient: satisfactory, acceptable

A lot/very: great*, exquisite*, amazing(ly)

Strong/intense: great*, impressive*

Impressive: great*, glorious, magnificent, remarkable, extraordinary, awful* (do not use impressive!)

Important/weighty: important, great*, remarkable*, awful*

Interesting: interesting, remarkable

Surprising: surprising, amazing*, wonderful*, incredible*, exceptional*, remarkable, extraordinary

Scary: terrific*, tremendous*, horrid, terrible*, awful*

Bad: bad, poor, disagreeable, unpleasant, unbecoming, grievous, direful, ill*

Really bad: very bad, wretched, dreadful, horrible, horrid, odious, despicable, terrible (do not use awful!)

(Apologies to Mr. Tilney: though “good” was not the primary meaning of “nice” in Austen’s work, it was one of the meanings of it in her work!)

Superlatives not used in any Austen novels: superb, breathtaking, fabulous, fantastic, marvelous, phenomenal, stunning, spectacular, outstanding, supreme, sensational, stellar, top-notch, awesome, divine (divine is used but only with its literal meaning, never as a generic superlative)

Also of note: quite vs rather in Austen’s time aligns pretty well with the modern-day US English usage and not with the modern-day UK usage, generally speaking.

Quite = very

Rather = somewhat, kind of

Further reference:

The Jane Austen Word List: every single word used in Austen's works

Austen Word Frequencies: per novel, character, etc.

Etymonline: dictionary with historical meanings

Samuel Johnson's Dictionary: digitized version of an actual 18th century dictionary

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no matter how bad things are going at least you aren't watching instagram reels right now