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lolitsbuckybarnes · 14 days ago

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A lady’s pleasure

Jacaerys Valeryon x fem!reader

Summary: For Jace Sex was always just duty. Get naked, be careful but quick and produce an heir. But when Aegon once again provokes him by saying his nephew was unable to please his wife it bothered him. Perhaps his uncle was right? It never occurred to him to please you or himself for that matter. Now he’s determined to learn.

Warnings: husband!jace x wife!reader, nipple play, hair pulling, oral (f receiving), fingering

Please let me know if I missed anything

“You must certainly know how to make your lovely wife feel good. After all you are the crown prince, Jacaerys Valeryon. You must have her quivering and singing underneath you.”

“Aegon, stop it at once!” Alicent Hightower urged her oldest son with a firm voice.

“With what reason? Should he feel as if I am mocking him then it could only be because I am false. Am I false, nephew?”

Jace could only stare and listen to his uncle making cruel jokes right in his face. His hands were angrily balled into fists but he remained silence.

Denying Aegon the pleasure of starting a fight about his performance in the bedroom in front of their family and worse you.

You stayed just as quiet and unreadable as he himself did and for an unknown reason it made Jace feel insecure. Did he know how to make his wife feel good? How to please her needs? Or even his own?

For him the act of it was only ever a way of making a family and producing heirs. Participating in its activity purely out of desire never occurred to him for many reasons.

For once he was terribly afraid of fathering any bastard children since he very much knew how it could feel like.

Besides he saw in Aegon how the needless pleasures and suspensions of its houses could turn a man into a beast.

But he was also an unwanted participant of a conversation between his mother and ser Harwin Strong when he was a child and realised how incredibly unfair it was for women to be the only gender having to save themselves.

For those reasons and others he kept to himself. Besides he rarely felt the need to anyway.

“Jacaerys, my apologies. I sincerely hope, you are not taking any of his unfounded claims to heart. You must be aware of how he can get” she looked away from him and at her son instead “when he is drowning in his cups.” she now angrily frowned.

Jace only sighed. “Do not worry. You might remember that I grew up around his nagging. Therefore I am quite used to this behaviour of his.”

Later when the young prince and his family arrived back at Dragonstone he accompanied you to your chambers.

“See me tonight, my prince? I am in no mood to sleep alone these days.” You whispered, putting your hands on his face in a comforting manner.

It was rather obvious that you felt quite compassionate towards him after such an exhausting feast.

Jace smiled lightly and nodded. He felt grateful for having you. And if you were honest you were very grateful for having him as well.

“Let me quickly inform my mother and the guards about my presence in your chambers for the night and once it’s done and I am ready for bed time I will be with you, my lady.”

You bit your lower lip at the tingling feeling in your stomach. He had a way of making you feel like this.

“And stop addressing me as your prince, please. I am not saying I do not enjoy it or that it is not true, I am only reminding you that you are not obligated to refer to me in such formalities. Call me your husband or by my birth name.”

You girlishly giggled. “But you are addressing me as your lady as well, my prince.” No matter how many times he reminded you of this you simply liked teasing him.

“These two are not the same at all to me. But I shall refer to you differently if you wish it.” He smiled.

“Yes please, I wish it. And I will wait for you tonight, husband.”

Jace took a deep breath as he entered the throne room and found who he was looking for. His mother’s husband and his great uncle.

“Daemon.” He called across the room.

“Jacaerys. What brings you here at this late hour?”

The young man came to a halt his face turning a bright red giving his intent right away. Daemon still awaited for Rhaenyras son to voice it.

“I am here about the matters I was so” he swallowed thickly “rudely tormented about this afternoon.”

“Boy, do not let it get to your head. You are more a man than Alicents son could ever be. Both of then in fact.“ Daemon was quick to push Jaces pride.

“I appreciate the compliment. But I have to admit that I fear my uncle might have had a point. Though I do not desire to be anything like him I have to admit I don’t know much about“ he paused “a womans body.”

“So you came to me to ask for advice on these affairs?”

“I am afraid so.”

You were comfortably sitting in your bed waiting for your husband in the light of your many candles while reading a book about Aegon the conqueror and his sisters.

He was taking suspiciously long for simply informing his guards about his stay at your chambers but you let him be since even a gentleman like your husband was were allowed to have a wounded pride.

You carefully manoeuvred your body out of the huge bed which was nice and warm but felt a little lonely by yourself.

Your night gown was of a light blue and thin which was not an unconscious decision. You liked to be a little cold at night so you had a reason to ask for your husband’s embrace.

You carefully approached the big door of your room. You only wanted to peak. Maybe you could spot him coming for you down the hallway.

And just as you reached for the handle of your wooden door it opened and you were met with the dark brown eyes of your husband.

“Jacaerys~” you let out.

“My love” he whispered “I am terribly sorry to had you waiting for me too long. There were some urgent issues I had to discuss with Prince Daemon.”

This new nickname send shivers down your spine and for a second you could only stare at him before regaining confidence.

“It is quite alright. Come on in. I have warmed the bed for us.”

You took his hand in yours and lead him to the bed. Once you were there both of you stood on opposite sides of it. You couldn’t help but notice his staring. Especially of your upper region.

“Are you tired yet, my love?” He sheepishly asked.

“Not quite. Is there something you want to discuss with me, husband?” You innocently wondered resting your body with your hands on the bed and stretching your face in his direction, subconsciously biting your lips.

“First lesson, boy. Get her excited for it first.”

He only chuckled at that which made your stomach tingle again. “The way you’re asking me is almost tempting, my love.”

He did the same as you pushing his face and upper body in your direction until you could feel his warm breath fan over your face.

For several minutes the two of you just looked at each other from opposite sides of your bed and even though you didn’t say or do anything and he didn’t either your breath heaved.

The silence got interrupted by his chuckling again and then he touched your cheek with his right hand.

“Have I ever told you how incredibly beautiful you are?” he whispered to your lips. And then, only lightly and almost unnoticeable, he bit it. Barely scraping your lower lip with his teeth.

Your breath hitched. “You- you have. On our wedding night.”

“I remember. Almost two moons ago. I should have told you every single day since then and I shall tell you every single day from now on.” He pecked your cheek. “Come, my love. Lay down.”

You did as he asked you, crawling into the middle of the bed and lying down on your back. His stares burning in your skin.

This was so different from what you knew. So far you only ever got into bed, shared a kiss and did what had to be done.

Of course he was gentle and looked after your well being but it was still always quick and a little uncomfortable.

But this? This was exciting. This made you feel things. New things.

Once you were comfortable Jace climbed on top of you, settling between your legs.

He smiled at you brushing the strands of hair out of your face. “Are you alright?“

You brushed through his wild curls as well and muttered “of course.“

He leaned down to you his breath fanning your face once again. “Good. Tell me if anything changes.”

He leaned down to you and kissed you tenderly, his plush lips pressing against yours. Carefully you returned his gesture but he didn’t stop there as usual.

Suddenly you could feel his tongue brushing over your lips which made you tremble and remove yourself from him. “What-“

He didn’t let you finish. “Do you trust me, my love?” You quickly nodded your head.

“I shall lead you then. I have waisted far too many weeks keeping you dissatisfied. I plan on making up for my mistakes tonight.” He whispered to your ear.

“You don’t have to, dear husband. I am happy as is.” You whispered back.

“I most certainly have to. Let me do this please. I no longer desire to be mocked by my uncle and feel he is right. I shall have you quivering and singing underneath me.”

You couldn’t help but whimper at that.

“Second lesson. Worship her body. I mean kiss her, touch her, feel her up. Not only down under but everywhere. Even her tits. Especially her tits.“

“Jacaerys~”

“Call me Jace, my love. Everybody does so.” He breathed down your throat and kissed the lobe of your ear.

He started to scatter kisses all over your shoulder and the bending of your neck as well, going lower and lower.

Driven by the desperate need to hold onto something your hands went up into his hair and slightly pulled at his unkempt curls.

Your body was now acting on its own needs and without realising you threw your head back and pushed your hips up against him.

As a reaction to the friction he received from your movement Jace unwillingly bit into the softness of your cleavage.

You let out a surprised hiss and pulled on his hair even harder.

You lightly pulled his head back until he was looking at you through lewd eyes. Your pupils were slightly dilated and your eyes blown wide with wanton which only made him grin boyishly.

“Fuck. My apologies, my love. Seems like you will have to wear dresses with a rather high neckline for some time. I left quite the mark there.“ he chuckled.

Your walls clamped, your slick gushing out. You had never before seen him like this let alone heard him swear so freely.

Without a second thought you pulled him down again and kissed his lips. Once again he was licking your lower lip but this time you didn’t pull away,

Instead you opened your mouth granting him entry.

His tongue found yours quickly, circling and sucking it. It practically had you rolling your hips and this time Jace pushed back, accommodating his rhythm to yours until the two of you were mindlessly grinding against each other while your tongues were almost doing the same.

One of his hands was resting next to your head, holding your face while he held his weight up on his arm. The other hand was brushing your sensitive skin with his fingertips, sometimes tickling a little.

Until this hand finally had a purpose when it wandered straight to your breast. Your mounds were hardened, peaking through the thin layer of clothing

Jace tested the waters by only gingerly pinching one of them. When you broke the kiss to push your head back into the pillow and softly moan he immediately twisted and pinched a little harder which resulted in your eyes squinting and your hips stuttering.

Jace bit his swollen lip and groaned at the sight before him. How could he have possibly missed out on this up to now?

He let go of your breast and stopped his movements all together. Your eyes opened and when you saw him grinning down at you with a raised brow, you blushed and tried to look away.

But he didn’t let you and instead used his now free hand to grab your chin and make you look at him.

His stare was stern and intense and you were struggling with holding it but you didn’t look away this time.

“I would like to undress you now if that is okay with you.“ he said while caressing your skin and hair.

You nodded. You always liked your husband, even back when he was only one of many suitors you long preferred him over anybody else but this night might just make you fall in love with him.

“Yes, Jacaerys, it is more than okay for me.“

His hands let go of you as he sat up on his knees to balance himself and they now grabbed the inside of your thighs which made you gasp and close them.

You looked at him through apologetic eyes. “I’m sorry, my prince.”

He raised his brows. “Do not apologise or call me your prince. What is the matter, my love? It is not as if I have never touched or seen what hides between your thighs before.“

You blushed and looked away. “I know you have. But this- this is so… different-“ you stuttered quietly.

“How so?“ he wondered and you just knew he was being ignorant. He knew, he only wanted you to tell him.

You whined, pouting a little and looking back at him through innocent eyes but when he did not budge you sighed.

“Because this is more intense. More intimate.“ your face was burning up so much you had no desire to know how you looked like right now.

For Jace on the other hand you looked really adorable right now. He chuckled, freeing you from your suffering. “I see. Shall I undress first then?“

You only nodded and looked him up and down which made you realise something you payed no attention to so far. He was still wearing what he wore to the feast.

“You’re not wearing anything fitting for the bed.“ you noticed, brushing over his tunic.

“I was not planning on wearing anything when I sleep over at your chambers tonight, my love.“

Your breath instantly hitched. He was panning for this?

Carefully you tucked at his tunic. “Take it off. Jace~ please.”

He only slowly started to unbuckle the belt around his waist, unbuttoning his tunic even slower.

You whined. “Stop being a tease~ please.”

He smirked and got out of bed and up entirely brushing his tunic off his shoulders.

You sat up and stared at him through blown eyes. It was not as if you had never seen his body before but you had never mustered him so extensively.

His skin was tanned and his shoulders broad. His chest was beautifully shaped and there was a little line of hair going down to where his sex was.

Your eyes wandered up to his meeting his intense stare once again and it made a shiver run down your spine.

Jaces big hands went to his trousers and just as before he removed them tauntingly slow.

You whined again, this time louder. “I told you not to be a tease!”

Without another word he let his trousers fall to the ground and your eyes automatically shot down again. He was simply perfect.

It was standing up, touching Jace’s stomach. Tip colored in a dark red color and leaking and it made you feel almost proud.

Naked and as the gods formed him Jace stood before your bed still staring down at your small frame.

Your legs were angled up, your knees touching your chest while you rested all of your weight on your palms.

“You cannot tell me what to do or not do, dear wife. I am your husband after all.” He reminded you, getting your attention again and though you knew he didn’t mean it, you frowned, feeling sorry.

Without another word he nakedly climbed on the bed, crawling towards you.

Once he was face to face with you smiled again as he did too.

“So I” he kissed your forehead “can only tell you what to do.”

Your eyes closed at the touch of his lips with your head. “What shall I do, my love?” you whispered, your hand touching his chest, caressing his defined muscles.

Jace groaned at you using this nickname as well and your touch and harshly pressed his lips against yours.

Again your hand went in his hair straight away, brushing it out of his face, clinging to it.

He moaned to your lips. “I love it when you do that. Keep your hands in my hair, love. Do not remove them, no matter what.”

“Third lesson. Use your tongue on her, boy. Eat her cunt like a man starved. Women do love that.“

Finally he took your night gown in his hands and pulled it over your head in a swift movement.

Without shame he starred at you, his hands squeezing your breast which made you whimper and lay back down.

“I should have appreciated your body much sooner. Only ever doing what was necessary. My poor, poor lady wife. Must have felt so frustrated and unsatisfied.”

He openly mocked you and all you could get out was a pathetic whimper.

“All of it will end tonight.” he whispered in your ear, biting the lope.

Without realizing your thighs spread wider at his action and you pulled his hair. “Jace~”

Jacaerys looked down at your legs, biting his lips and smirking at your subconscious reaction. “You are the most perfect woman I have ever laid eyes upon. I dare even say the most perfect human.”

“Jacaerys, please.” You pleadingly looked at him through blown eyes. “T-touch me.”

Your face became of a deep red color but you still held his intense stare. You couldn’t quite believe what you had just asked of him. No woman of your class should ever beg for such lewd doings.

Or even desire them at all.

Jace could do nothing but chuckle at your embarrassed face and take it in his hand “Where do you desire my touch the most, my love?”

“Perhaps” he whispered “here?” His thumb lightly brushed over your bottom lip.

“Or maybe” his fingertips tickled your neck and down your shoulder to your hand “here?”

Softly he took your hand in his.

And then suddenly not so soft anymore he pinned it over your head, down onto the mattress which made you yelp in shock.

“Perhaps you don’t even want me to touch you with my hands at all? Would you rather I use my mouth, my love?”

Your eyebrows knitted and right when you wanted to ask him about the meaning behind his questions his mouth went straight down to your breast.

Your back arched when you gasped and tried to pull his head away with your hand that had remained in his hair.

“Oh~” you sighed, having no other choice than finally relaxing at his touch when he didn’t move away.

He licked and bit your mound, sometimes even sucking as if he were a babe.

Oddly enough it felt amazing and you couldn’t stop arching into him and letting out shallow breaths.

“Fuck~ so sensitive here, my love. Perhaps someday I could make you cum just by paying attention to your tits.”

You gasped at his vulgarity, it made you shiver and pull his head up to look at him. “Fuck~ never stop pushing and pulling my hair.”

You giggled girlishly and brushed through his wild curls. “I would never.”

Quickly he got back to his work but this time switched sides, paying attention to your other mound until your loud breathing turned into whining from all the soreness.

Once again he switched sides, teasing and testing you and never touching down were you needed him most.

Not even when you started to push your hips up, desperately trying to get some friction. “Jace~ enough, please. ‘m s-so sore.”

He detached himself and stared for a few seconds as if in awe, lightly biting it one last time, making you whimper.

Without another word he spread your legs as far as he could to comfortably settling between them and kissed his way from your stomach down.

Every once in a while he bit your skin which had you squirming in anticipation. He certainly knew how to take his time.

When he finally was eye level with your core, he didn’t came to a halt and instead started to kiss down your inner thighs as well.

“Jace~ my love, please. Please do not do this to me. You are being mean. I- I need your touch. Please.”

You panted, trying to pull him up by his hair, not caring about any decency anymore.

“So impatient. Do you not want me to enjoy this as well as you?” He said, his hot breath hitting your wetness while talking, making you gasp.

You quickly nodded “Yes, of course I want you to enjoy yourself.”

“Very well.” He mumbled, distracted by the sight in front of his eyes. “But I won’t make you wait any longer.”

He sticked out his tongue, flattening it and then took a long lick up your cunt, now having eye contact with you.

“Oh~ Gods~“ you moaned, arching your back. “What-“

“I need you to relax, my love. I promise you will like it.” he murmured against your core. His hot breath making you shudder.

“I- I already liked it. It was only much of an sur- OH” he experimentally sucked on your little bundle of nerves he so far had barely touched before, rudely interrupting you and making you yelp.

Your hand that was still im his hair gripped it tightly, making him groan in the process. The vibration of it got you to clench your thighs around his head.

“Respectfully. You talk too much.” he murmured once again. “Simply enjoy.”

You pathetically whimpered, not mustering any more than a nod. He could only smile at that.

He licked with his tongue again, circling your clitoris with it. Your breath fastened, free hand desperately searching for something to hold onto as well.

Silently Jace took it in his, squeezing lightly. He didn’t part from your core though, still feasting on you as if you were his most favorite meal.

You imagined your slick to be smeared across his chin and lips by now and it made you embarrassed and excited all the same.

Suddenly grabbed your thighs, putting your legs on his shoulders, your feet touching his back. His hands now holding your hips.

Your again free hand went up, fisting the cover of the cushion. His tongue was now flicking your bud in a fast motion.

You couldn’t help but stretch your lower half in the air, putting it right in his face. “Jace~”

His name left your lips like a prayer. Whispered, moaned, whined and whimpered. Your eyes wandered down, meeting his intense stare.

And then one of his hands left your hip, brushing the inside of your thigh. While he was still sucking at you, two of his fingers were now prodding at your entrance.

You gasped “Jacaerys- what-“ but he again interrupted you this time by pushing his fingers in, your walls welcoming them.

“So wet and warm. Tell me how you are feeling, my love.” He now parted from you, messily cleaning his face with the back of his other hand.

All the while his fingers were moving slowly in and out of you, making it hard to answer properly. “Good~ oh I~ I feel good.”

His previous cleaning was to no use when he simply chuckled and dived right back in getting back to work immediately.

It was as if he could not get enough of it.

“Fourth lesson, the most important one, you cannot and will not enter her before she isn’t as slick as a snail. Best if you have her finish at least once before you even attempt to your own pleasure.”

His fingers were moving at a rapid pace now, keeping a steady rhythm with his tongue, making you wonder if it wasn’t tiring for his muscles.

But you couldn’t really worry about that, your head being to full of Jace. His scent, his body against yours, his hair tingling your thighs.

Out of reflex you brushed it out of his face, his wild curls stickig to his forehead and neck.

Suddenly your entire body tightened when he hit a special spot inside of you. You moaned loudly “Jace~ stop it.”

But he didn’t. Instead he looked at you through thick lashes, fingers curling and massage said spot, mouth sucking.

“Jacaerys. Please~ hah” you were now trying to crawl away from him, his hand moving across your stomach, pinning your hip down as good as he could.

“I feel weird. Let us take a break OH GODS” your legs practically suffocated him, squeezing his head. Again he did not stop, still looking at you.

You were wondering if perhaps he was searching for any actual discomfort on your part, because even though you were begging him to stop you also felt you might cry if he actually did.

A strange sensation was building up inside you, stomach tingling, muscles tightening and most importantly your core was almost itching.

It felt as if you needed to get rid of this itch, grinding up on him to soothe the feeling.

“Your cunt is clenching so much, I have trouble believing you want me to stop.” Jace whispered against your core.

You couldn’t even answer, only violently shaking your head and welcoming the relieving feeling that washed over you.

You were whining so loud, you wondered if everyone could hear but you did not care. The only thing you cared about was him. Between your legs. Making you feel things you had never felt before.

And then it was all over. Your back arched one last time, thighs squeezing your husband incredibly tight. A wave of pleasure washing from your head down through your body to your tows.

Pretty much immediately it was all too much. His touch was now burning and you were practically pushing his head away.

“S’ too much.” You slurred. Your eyes were heavy, as was your breathing. Your legs now felt sore and weak.

Carefully Jace took them in his hands, removing them from his shoulders. He gently put them down on the mattress, coming up to you.

When he was eye level with you, he took in your figure. You seemed quite overwhelmed, one hand still very loose in his hair, which he also carefully removed, holding it in his hands.

Your other arm was hanging over your forehead and closed eyes. Your face was flushed and Jace couldn’t help but grin.

“How are you feeling, my love?” he whispered, pecking your lips. Weakly you returned his favor.

“Quite well I think.” you laughed breathlessly. “Tank you.”

Jace could only chuckle at you for thanking him. “Feels good, does it not? Have I never had you do that before?” he asked, a frown adorning his face.

Your face was flushed, cheeks red and breath still heavy. “Do what?”

He shaked his head the tiniest bit almost unnoticeable. “Finish. Have I never had you finish before?”

“I- I am unsure of it. So far I was not told a woman could even do that, my love.” you admitted lowering your arm and looking at him “Is that offensive to you?”

“No! Gods no. It should be to you. I have been ignoring your needs.”

“I was not aware I had those needs, Jace. Do not beat you up on it. I beg you.” You lifted your head up, looking in his saddened eyes.

“Which was my fault. I should have introduced you to all the good sides of a marriage. I failed. My uncle-“

“Your uncle is a drunken fool.” You interrupted his doubting “I doubt he has ever done to any Lady what you have done for me tonight. He has a loud mouth, I believe most of his talk is untrue.”

One of your hands brushed through his hair, stroking his cheek while the other held your weight up.

“Besides I decide whether or not you are a good husband and I decide that you are. I am content, I am happy, Jacaerys, I am pleased.”

Slowly you got fully up, pushing him down by his chest, swinging a leg over him and putting your weight on his thighs.

“What exactly are you doing?” your husband wondered, his hands automatically grabbing your hips.

Without answering you took his sex in your hand and slowly stroked it. “Ohh~ oh gods. What-“

“I am returning the favor, my love.”

#jacaerys valeryon x reader #jace x reader

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lolitsbuckybarnes · 21 days ago

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*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ "in the dead of night"･ﾟ✧*: ･ﾟ✧*

pairing: Jacaerys Velaryon x fem!Reader

words: 7000

summary: when Jace is attending a late council meeting, two hired assassins take their chance to sneak into your chambers and hold you captive. Taken to the dragon caves below and meant to be slain by your own betrothed’s dragon, you have to trust the bond between Vermax and you is strong enough to escape your captor’s murderous plans.

warnings: soft!reader, fluffy start but HEAVY angst (reader being held captive by two assassins similar to Blood and Cheese), physical violence (slapping, hair pulling), verbal abuse, threats of rape and violence, Vermax being Vermax and also protective of reader, hurt/comfort, shock and crying, Jacaerys being a caring betrothed, Rhaenyra being the best mother in law, aftermath of trauma, healing, hopeful ending

a/n: please mind the warnings for this story, it’s my angstiest so far! Big thanks to @princessvelaryon and @princesschimchim1325 for being awesome and inspiring me to write this!

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

You smiled to yourself as you held two small wooden figures in your hands, a princess and a prince, their hands linked together and small attires made of cotton and wool. When you were younger, you remembered playing with them for hours, creating little scenarios of the prince who might sweep you off your feet someday.

Now, many years later, you had found the love of your life in Prince Jacaerys.

Ever since your own parents had died too young, Jace’s family had welcomed you as if you were one of them by blood, making you a home at Dragonstone and accepting you with open arms as theirs. Perhaps, a huge part of it was because Rhaenyra’s oldest son had been in love with you ever since he had first laid eyes on you, but there was more to it. His mother adored you and you got alone with his siblings and cousins and brought a joy into their house that was much needed in those dark times of war.

This afternoon, you were sitting on the soft fur carpet in one of the big living rooms of the castle, Rhaenyra’s twins peacefully playing with their wooden toys all around you. Earlier, Baela and Rhaena had joined you for a chat and the newest gossip, but you didn’t mind being alone with the kids as well, your own inner child always coming down around their soft souls.

You let out a playful gasp as little Viserys assembled a row of knights on their horses along the imaginary street you had built together. “Are your noble knights going to a tournament, Vis?”

The boy nodded timidly at you, letting one of the horses gallop forward and making you laugh.

Your betrothed Jacaerys leaned against the doorframe and smiled softly as he watched you. Little Aegon had snuggled close to you and you helped Viserys move the toy carriage around the carpet.

You looked up as he pushed himself off the frame, walking towards you with pure adoration in his eyes. “Oh hello. I didn’t hear you enter.” You said, letting your hand be lifted by him so he could press a soft kiss against your knuckles.

Moving to stand and placing Aegon on the ground, he laid a hand on your shoulder, shaking his head. “I didn’t want to interrupt your play. What adventures is my princess going on today? Have my brothers been behaving?”

“They are the sweetest.” You told him in all honesty, your heart melting at the two little blond boys in front of you. Whenever you spent time with Jace’s smaller siblings, you could not help but notice how your heart expanded and spoke to a deep part in you that wished for children of your own someday. “We were playing a carriage ride to a tournament, I believe, but then a dragon escaped and now we have to look for him.”

Jace squatted down for a moment and handed Aegon a rattle shaped like the bell of a sept, which he immediately took with a toothless grin and tried out. You watched your betrothed with a soft heart and thought what a wonderful father he’d make…

“I dream of the day this will be our life someday.” He confessed to you, the corner of his plump lips lifting sadly. “When there is peace in the realm and we have time to take care of our future children together.”

“I wish for nothing else.” You replied softly, your heart blooming with love for him.

For a moment, Jacaerys looked as if he wanted to sit down and join you and his little brothers, but as you knew your hard-working betrothed all too well, he sighed and stood up again, careful not to step on the big skirts draped around you like a blooming flower.

“There will be a late council meeting this evening.” Jacaerys announced to you, his displeased expression betraying him. “Everyone of the council and the dragon keepers will sit together to discuss. I wouldn’t ask you to join us, it will be very boring and entirely unnecessary.”

You chuckled, knowing all too well how different Jace would do many things if his say in the matters of his mother would be of more weight. But at the same time, you were glad, Rhaenyra kept him sheltered and protected with you for now, at Dragonstone where it was the safest place for the future king and his queen.

“Will you come to bed later?” You asked shyly, although it was not uncommon for the prince and you to share a bed before your marriage had even been consummated.

A small and narrow passage connected your room to Jacaerys’ and you had often made use of it, whether you wanted someone to talk to before heading to bed or were in need of his warm embrace before you eventually drifted off into an innocent sleep together. When he was gone or bound to duties, you usually made yourself comfortable in his bed, but perhaps you’d return to your own tonight if the meeting was going to take a while before he’d be released.

Jacaerys smiled softly at you and nodded before he raised your hand towards his lips. “I will. Don’t stay up too late, I’ll be with you as soon as I can, I promise.”

You hummed pleased and let him kiss your knuckles. “I hope it won’t be too long. And don’t take their words to heart too much, Jace. You’re the prince and they’re lucky to have you.”

“It is me who is lucky to have you, my beloved.” He said and watched in delight as you blushed at his appreciation. “My safe haven, my light.”

Jacaerys leaned down, softly cupping your cheek before he gently kissed your lips, your back arching a little to reach him better. Your lips brushed tenderly against one another and you sighed in bliss at his open affections for you.

You smiled at him when you separated, squeezing his hand in yours. “I love you. I’ll see you later.”

“I love you.I’ll do my best to hurry.” He promised, hugging his little toddler brothers as well and softly stroking their hair before he departed. You sighed to yourself, eager to have the hours pass and let the two of you be reunited again as little Aegon presented you a wood dragon, silently asking you to rejoin their play..

“Alright, where were we, my princes?”

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

Being alone in your private chambers had become a rarity since you had been promised to Jacaerys.

You listened to the quietness of the room, the fire cackling in the pit as you sat on your bed and combed out your hair. You had taken a bath after bringing the princes to their nurseries and changed into something comfortable for the night.

The small evidence of Jace’s frequent visits to your room were visible all over the place. A cloak of his was thrown over one of your chairs by the fire and one of his books laid open by your desk. Even his smell still faintly clung to your pillows, a little gift from the last time he had fallen asleep here, not bothering to retreat back to his own chamber under your soft and lingering touches to his hair.

You could not even remember the last time the connecting door between your rooms had been closed.

You let out a small sigh as you sunk into bed, watching the dark outside of your window for a while. The council meeting must’ve been going on for a while now and you tried to read a few pages to keep you awake, not wanting to miss the moment Jace would come to you.

The time went by and your eyelids kept dropping.

But after a while, the door to your chamber opened and a wide smile split your face as you sat up in your bed, ready to welcome Jace back. Your hair fell over your shoulders, the blanket slipping down your body a little, but just a second later, everything in you froze to a stop.

Two men entered your room, their clothes dirty and faces dark as they took you in. These weren’t your guards and as one of them unsheathed a blade from his belt, you opened your mouth to scream.

They were on you in a heartbeat.

One of them drew the blankets off the bed while the other grabbed your hair, dragging you from the mattress and onto the floor, every sound in your throat seizing up and choked off by their sudden display of violence.

You were not a fighter, never had been. You stood no chance as they manhandled you in their middle, the taller one quickly looking over his shoulder as you struggled to no use against their tight grip.

“Look at that.” You heard close to your ear, the deep raspy voice sending shivers down your spine. “The bastard prince’s little bird, right between us. What would your man say now if he could see you like this, huh?”

You whimpered when your head was tugged back, the other gripping your wrists and making quick work of a tight rope around them, scratching over your soft skin and successfully binding you.

“Who are you?” You demanded to know, your voice barely louder than a whisper. You were shaking from head to toe, your body and mind gone into overdrive when they had first laid hands on you.

They shared a grin with each other. “Does it matter? All you have to know is we’re not your fucking maids. And that you will die tonight, princess. Now be a good girl and shut the fuck up.”

You tried to press your heels into the floor, to keep them from stirring you towards the door, but after a moment the tall one simply picked you up and carried you towards the door. Your nails scratched over the man’s back, but it was like he didn’t even feel it, his grip around your legs too tight for you to struggle and free yourself.

“Behave.”

You were set on your feet again, crowded by them against the door. You swallowed hard against the lump in your throat, your eyes flickering between the two of them. “Whoever paid you, their reward is not nearly enough for the misery my family will bring down on you when they find you. I am a princess of Dragonstone and you have no right to-“

They pushed you out of the door, not bothering to listen.

A horrified gasp escaped your lips as you stepped outside your chamber and nearly stumbled over the dead bodies of your two guards, bleeding out and cold on the floor. The sound echoed through the hall and before you knew what was happening, your head was pulled back by your hair and a hard hand slapped you across the face.

Pain exploded in your mind, blinding you for a moment before the sting ebbed away and was replaced with a dull throb in your cheek.

You held the palm of your trembling hand to your throbbing cheek, breathing hard as you recovered from the blow. “You will die for this.” You said oddly calm and collected. It had to be the shock, you could not think clearly, but you knew one thing for sure: “The prince will cut your hands off for laying hand on me.”

The tall one grinned as if it was an empty threat. “We will be long gone once your prince finds you, stupid cunt. And in what state that will be, I still have to decide.” His disgusting hungry gaze crept over your body, barely hidden underneath your thin sleeping gown. You wanted to throw up.

“You will lead us to the place where the dragons are.” The shorter one said. “We know the keepers are all at the meeting and you know ways where no guards keep patrol. And if you dare to scream or run to wake anyone, I’ll cut out your tongue and heart and throw it in front of the bastard prince’s feet.”

You swallowed down bitter tears, your head screaming at you to do something, anything. But your hands were painfully tied and you did not find your voice as you slowly began to walk with them through the castle.

In the past, you have had nightmares like this, terrible visions of you being powerless as hands held you down in the dark, doing horrible things to you. You sometimes had woken up screaming, but Jacaerys had been there for you every time, holding you until the worst of it was over and you slowly were able to calm down in his safe and warm embrace. Now, there was no one, all people living and working at Dragonstone either asleep or summoned by Rhaenyra and Jacaerys for the council meeting. By the time someone had discovered the corpses of your guards in front of your chambers, you’d likely be dead or taken to who knew where.

You walked through your home, shivering against the cool air with only the thin nightdress you wore on you, the dangerous presence of your captors behind your back. You knew Jacaerys would blame himself for leaving you alone and suddenly, a sorrow so consuming filled your chest, you choked on a quiet whimper. You had not even said goodbye…

“Shut the fuck up.” They hissed at you and one of them slung his arm around your waist, your fingers digging into his flesh in protest as cool metal suddenly rested against your ribcage. A dagger. “Be fucking quiet and keep walking.”

Soon, the air began to smell of salt and sea and you heard the distant crashing of the waves against the island. The entrance to the dragon caves came into sight and you turned around to face them.

“Now tell us, girl, where is your precious dragon?”

Your heart sank into the pit of your stomach, but before you could open your mouth for a reply, the other one of them shook his head. “No. Don’t be stupid. The beast will kill us right away if it sees their rider in our clutches. But…the bastard’s dragon. It’s a foul ill-tempered beast, isn’t it? Where is it?”

Vermax.

A protective wave washed through you and for a moment, you regained the little confidence you had before the man had laid his hand on you. “What do you want with the dragon? You are in no state to have a chance at killing him.”

They shared a look, both grinning viciously. One of them stepped up to you and touched your chin with his dirty hand, right where a fresh bruise from his violence bloomed. You tried to flinch away, but he held you close.

“We don’t mean to kill it, flower.” He told you, bloodthirst flickering over his features and making you sick. His knuckles brushed over the cut on your lip and you wanted to gag from disgust. “We’re going to watch as it kills you.”

Your mind was swimming as you led them through the darkness, watching their big shadows looming over your small own. The taller one still held his dagger against your waist and you knew he’d make use of it if he noticed you playing any games. There were wild beasts slumbering in the depths of these caves, but would they be faster at attacking your captors than the knife against your skin?

The hope in your chest thinned the further away you walked with them from where you knew your own dragon slept, but one last shimmer of it remained in you. You knew Vermax and he knew you just as Jacaerys did. You had to hold on to that.

“It’s here.” You announced quietly, your whisper echoing across the cave near the ocean. It was quiet here and you had to squint your eyes to make out the big nest at the end of the cave where a green-scaled dragon slept fitfully.

“Call it.” The smaller one muttered, his eyes fixed on the beast. You winced as the tip of the dagger pressed into your skin, a warning. “We will stand behind you and when it has come out, you will command it to kill you, you hear me? No tricks or I’ll gladly be the one to end your suffering, right after my friend here has had his fun with you, princess.”

You took a deep breath as they retreated into a safe distance.

„Naejot Māzīs, Vermax.“ You commanded shakingly and the sound of your familiar voice, the big pile of green and red in the corner of the cage moved, uncurling himself from his light slumber.

Jacaerys’ dragon blinked at you sleepily, a shudder going through his beautiful scales as he tilted his head to the side questioningly. When he spotted the two men in your company, he tensed, stepping forward and showing himself in his full height.

“Lykirī…“ You lifted your hands, trying to catch Vermax’ eyes again so he’d look at you instead of them.

With a low growl in his throat, he settled, stepping closer to you until his snout almost touched your outstretched hand.

“Say it, girl!” You heard the commanding voice behind you, in a safe distance of the beast that slowly blinked at you, considering. “We’re not going to wait much longer!”

You took a deep breath and looked Vermax in the snake-like eyes.

He met you with a calm stare, tilting his head to the side again, a deep rumble in his chest.

You had to trust in him now. You had to trust in the love Jacaerys and you were sharing and the bond between you and the dragons.

Out of the sudden, a heavy thrown stone hit you in the back and you gasped in pain, stumbling forward and almost slipping in a dirty puddle.

“DO IT!”

Trust in Vermax, just as you trust in your Jace.

“Dracarys.” You whispered finally and closed your eyes.

Vermax surged forward with a furious roar, one sharp claw in the ground, his wing shielding you from the scenery. Nearly pushing you out of the way, he advanced on the men who had threatened you with a snarl and warmth filled the large cave, fire burning low in his green-scaled stomach.

A horrible realization flickered over their faces as the green beast drew closer, their backs hitting the wall behind them as they looked at you one last time. “You fucking cunt-“

Vermax wiped out their miserable existence with one single breath of fire. Heat tore through the cave and you stumbled backwards as the dragon fire burned them and the scent of roasted human flesh reached your nose.

You squeezed your eyes shut and buried your face in your hands as you listened to their screams. Their agony bounced off the stone walls and heat crept down your spine, but Vermax kept you close, the leathery feel of his wing a small comfort against your skin.

Suddenly, silence rang in your ears.

You dared to peek up over the protective curl of Vermax’ wings.

Where your captors had stood, only ashes and bones remained.

Vermax let out a self-satisfied growl, clearly pleased with what he had unleashed on the terrors. He bent down, blinking at you with his sharp eyes as if to make sure you were alright. Tears, both from the shock and gratitude, filled your eyes and you leaned your forehead against his snout, trying to take deep breaths to steady yourself.

You shrunk back as you heard footsteps in the caves, hurried steps running over gravel and through the water puddles, a flame throwing a long shadow over the walls. You felt Vermax tense, his wing drawing itself tighter around you. Any other threat advancing, he’d burn to the ground.

In the next moment, Jacaerys stormed into the chamber, his sword drawn as his other hand held a lit torch. His chest was heaving, sweat gathering at his hairline as he quickly took in the state of the room. He looked like he had run the length of the castle and you knew it likely had been the case.

Vermax snarled without threat, greeting his rider and lifting his wing to present you to your love.

Your eyes met and you let out a shuddering breath.

The sight of you was a thousand daggers to his heart.

Your face was smeared with soot and the blood from your split lip coated your chin, your hair unruly and disheveled from the way they had grabbed and dragged you along. Your silk dress was dirty and you shivered against the cold of the cave as you slung your bruised arms around yourself.

Behind you, Vermax hovered like a protective shadow and waited, willing to serve with Jacaerys now here with you.

As he took a step towards you, his boot made contact with the skulls of the assassins. Two of them, he realized and the rage surging through his veins was all-consuming. He looked down at their bones and wished to go back in time to kill them himself, over and over again until not even these mortal remains stayed behind.

But his own bloodlust vanished as he raced towards you, your own legs unsteady and finally giving out under you just as he reached you.

He fell to the ground with you in his arms, holding you tightly as you clawed your hand in his clothes, his heart breaking for you right underneath your tight grip. It was like any last strength in you had left, leaving you a broken and sobbing mess in his embrace.

“You’re safe, you’re safe…” Jace murmured into your ear, softly swaying you back and forth as you wept, the adrenaline and shock from the situation finally crashing down on you with full force. “Nothing is going to happen to you, I’m here…”

The Queen and the dragon keepers found the prince and his princess just like this.

Jacaerys was kneeling on the ground, the princess dissolved in tears in his arms and the ill-tempered beast that had saved his love curled around them, chortling comfortingly as the prince stroked her hair and whispered sweet nothings in her ear.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

You had been escorted back to the castle, but you couldn’t say you remembered much from the journey. Your mind had gone into an odd state of survival, the girl from before the attack having retreated into a far corner of your mind.

The guards, now dead because of you, had been carried away in front of your door and you had stopped in the middle of the hallway, not able to go another step as you stared at the spot where maids were now scrubbing the blood from the floor.

“Come on, my dear.” Rhaenyra had gently told you and you tore your eyes away from the scene as your Queen and Jacaerys led you into his chambers instead. The warmth and unique scent of Jace’s quarters – the smell of old parchment and books, mingled with the wax of the candles and the smell of his sheets – enveloped you and you drew the cloak Jace had draped over your shivering form tightly around you.

Now, a little later, you were seated at Jace’s work table and blankly stared at your scraped hands in your lap.

Jacaerys had instantly expressed his dislike for an interrogation at this hour of the night, but you had shaken your head, willing to recount the situation to Rhaenyra as if words could wash away the poison they had brought onto you. Your skin felt coated with it and you feared the stain might never go away again.

Yet, you had told her and Jace what happened, slowly and quietly, and when you were done, Rhaenyra was holding your hand and Jacaerys looked as if he wanted to break something.

“My brave girl.” Rhaenyra murmured and softly cupped your cheek as she looked at the bruises on your face and neck. “You’ve fought enough for tonight, darling. I’ll call the maids and healers and-“

“No.” You cut her off, shivering at the prospect of unfamiliar hands on you, seeing the evidence of what had happened on your naked skin. You swallowed hard, your eyes filling with unshed tears again. “No one else. It’s- it’s alright, I can do it myself, I really can-“

Rhaenyra smiled sadly at you. “You are hurt, my dear.”

“I’m not broken.” You insisted, although you felt like it. You were shattered pieces on the ground.

“And no one says so, dear.”

Jacaerys, sensing you were on the verge of breaking down, knelt down next to your chair and caught your gaze with his. “I can help, if you want.” He offered quietly.

You looked back at him, conflicted. If Jace stayed, there’d come the point where he’d see the damage you had taken and you did not know what troubled you more; him seeing you like this or seeing him as his heart shattered for you.

“Jace.” Rhaenyra looked at him. “Perhaps a woman’s presence at this time is better suited for her. I’ll fetch you later, I promise, but she needs a moment for herself now, alright?”

He was tense, your beloved prince, but after a moment he nodded with a set jaw before he stood and looked at you one more time. “I’ll wait outside.”

You didn’t want to meet his sad expression, so you kept your gaze down as mother and son went to the door, talking in quick and hushed voices before Jace stepped outside and Rhaenyra returned to you.

She leaned down and brushed a little bit of soot from your cheeks, careful not to touch your split lip. “Vermax surely knows how to rain down fire on our enemies, hm?”

A weak smile tugged at the corner of your lips. “He saved me. He knew exactly what was going on the moment I entered and he was intelligent enough to play along until the right moment had come.”

Rhaenyra hummed, offering you a hand to stand up. “And still, they only call my son’s dragon ill-tempered. How does a bath sound? I’m sure you’d like to step into more comfortable clothes, wouldn’t you?”

You nodded, longing for a simple cotton shirt, preferably one of Jace’s that smelled like home and warmth and safety.

Your future mother-in-law went to the big bath next to Jace’s bedroom with you, a steaming bath already having been drawn for you.

When you saw her drawing a stool close to the tub, your eyes widened and you were quick to interject: “I-I can do it myself, Your Grace, there is no need for you to-“

“Please let me help you just as I would help any other child of mine.” She interrupted you kindly and soon after, you gratefully sunk into the bath, your sore muscles relaxing in its warmth.

Rhaenyra helped you tilt your head back and you closed your eyes as warm water flowed over your hair and down your neck, tears of your own silently running down your damp cheeks. Your throat bobbed painfully as you let her work, the Queen’s gentle hands a mother’s comfort as they helped to get rid of the dirt from the caves and a root clinging to your skin.

“I have sent Jace to fetch an ointment for your bruises and cuts.” She told you quietly and you nodded silently, cupping some of your water to rinse off your face, careful not to touch your throbbing lip. “I want you to tell me if I should send him away for the night. You can be honest with me, dear.”

You sniffled, gladly accepting the towel she lent you after helping you out of the bathtub. After a moment, you rasped: “It is not him I am scared of. It’s just…I know it pains him to see me hurt.”

“He hurts because he hasn’t been there for you, my dear.” Rhaenyra explained softly and you sighed to yourself as you slipped into a silken robe, the fabric easy on the big bruise on your back and arms. Underneath, you already wore one of Jace’s long shirts, the fabric more of a dress on you. “If it is one thing I have learned, as someone who loves and is lucky enough to be loved, it’s that healing means accepting the help of others. No one will fault you if you want to be for yourself tonight, but I know Jace will do anything he can to help you recover from this, no matter what that might look like.”

You did not want to be alone.

You feared it, laying down in bed once again when the door could open at any moment and reveal the terrors, although Jacaerys had doubled the amount of guards outside his door, simply so you’d feel safe.

You wanted to feel sheltered and able to move past this with the one you loved more than anything else, the one who had first thought about when your life had been in grave danger.

You needed Jacaerys.

“Jace may come in again.” You said quietly, suppressing the urge to groan with every step. You had not seen it yet, but the pain the stone thrown to your back caused felt like a flare and you were sure the spot was already turning a deep shade of purple.

Rhaenyra led you towards Jace’s bed, seemingly pleased with your decision. “I’ll make my leave then. Sleep in tomorrow, the both of you. You need all the rest you can get.”

“Thank you, Your Grace.” You squeezed her hand in yours, bowing your head in gratitude. “And thank you for helping me.”

She smiled at you one last time, although there was a strain to it, her worry over a sneak attack like this consuming her mind. Tomorrow they’d speak about this in council, but tonight she’d let her son do the rest, his wide eyes meeting hers when she opened the door and let him in.

You turned around to look at him, your damp hair falling over your shoulder and his clothes, a princess despite the cuts and bruises on your skin. Jacaerys slowly walked to you and your heart stung when you noticed his blood-shot eyes and how pale he still was. He was tense all over, yet he softened as he came to a stop in front of you.

“Where does it hurt?” He asked quietly, looking for your honesty and not a false promise towards him.

You let out a shaky breath and leaned into him.

For a moment, you simply stood in front of each other, forehead against forehead and breathing each other in. Hot tears welled up in your shut eyes, his closeness rescuing and suffocating you at once. Jace’s nose touched yours and his soft curls tickled your cheeks and for a second, you thought that everything might be alright again when the morning came.

“My back. My cheek and wrists…” You whispered, your breath tickling his lips. “I know I’ve bathed and changed and I’m safe in your rooms, but…it feels like they’ve put me apart and I’ve been assembled back together wrongly.”

He shook his head, swallowing against his own lump in his throat. “You could never be wrong, my love.”

Your bottom lip wobbled dangerously, only doubling the pain in the cut grazing it. “I’ve been so scared, Jace. When they entered my room- Anything could’ve happened, they could’ve done anything to me-“

You gasped both in relief and sorrow as his arms pulled you against him, the hug both grounding and warm, something you thought you’d lost forever mere hours ago. You were too exhausted to cry once more, but the horror over what else could’ve been done to you shook you to your very core.

“I’m never going to let something like this happen again.” Jace promised you darkly as he tightened his arms around you, soothingly brushing his hand through your hair as you rested the unwounded side of your face against his heart. “You will never have to be afraid again, I promise. I should’ve been there, I should’ve stopped them-“

“You didn’t know they were here.” You reminded him, but you could feel the fury radiating off his body, an all-consuming rage deeply rooted in him. “No one did. No one is to blame except for the ones who sent them, Jace.”

“And they will pay.” You could practically feel the daggers he was glaring at the wall behind you. But just after a moment, you felt his anger deflate as he softly kissed the top of your head and gently lifted your chin so he could look at you. “You’ve been fighting all alone tonight, but I am here now and I want to be of use, beloved. Will you let me help?”

“I don’t want to upset you.” You almost bit your lip before you remembered the pain.

His gaze softened endlessly and he tucked a damp strand of your hair behind your ear. There were lots of tangled emotions inside of him still, but he saw you, this sweet delicate girl he had fallen for ever since the beginning and knew he had to take care of you now. “You could never upset me, my beautiful strong princess.”

The words were mending on your shaken soul and you closed your eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath before you let him to his work.

“The maester said the salve might be a little cool on the skin.” Jace murmured and you nodded in understanding. “And he gave me ice, scratched from the old side of the island’s cliffs, for your cheek.”

You took the dripping bundle from his hand, sighing as the cold cloth touched your cheek, the swelling subtle so far yet inevitable to strengthen throughout the night. But every bruise and cut on your body was better than not living to see the sun rise in the morning. “I could apply the salve on my own?”

Jace shook his head. “Let me do this for you.”

He walked with you to his bed, helping you sit down as he knelt before you, devotion shimmering in his eyes. You realized that he needed this just as much as you did, to prove himself he was able to take care of you now, even if he had not been there for you then.

He cupped your healthy cheek as you covered the other one with your ice. “Should we start with your back?”

Jace helped you lift the fabric, only so much so he could see where the stone had struck you, a dull bruise blossoming right next to your spine. It was nothing he had not yet seen so far, still you felt self-conscious under his attentive eyes.

You held very still as Jacaerys began to carefully apply the ointment to the bruise, his finger drawing soft and soothing circles over the blue spot. His other hand touched your waist, just barely underneath the fabric of his shirt on you and you closed your eyes as the cooling sensation drew a little pain from you and let it vanish.

“Good?”

“Feels good…” You murmured and tried to crawl into the feeling, the tiny relief washing away a little of the darkness from before. With a small kiss to your nape, he let the shirt fall and cover you again.

Next came your sore wrists. He lifted both of them, seeing the red marks where the tight rope had cut into your skin and swallowing hard. He wanted to unleash Vermax on the dusty bones of your captors again until their remains were annihilated from this earth. Jace softly kissed both of them before he dipped his fingers into the small jar again and repeated his careful motions.

You made a small sound in your throat and he stopped instantly.

“Too hard?”

You shook your head. “My lip…”

He sat down beside you, the mattress dipping underneath his weight and bringing you closer to him. The cut wasn’t pretty, but no cut was and you did not shy away from him as he took in the damage, one of his hands still rubbing circles into your wrist.

You held your breath as his coated thumb touched your bottom lip, his touch light as a feather as the cooling salve instantly mended the throbbing. Your hand reached up to hold his wrist, not ready yet to let him go when his touch felt infinitely good for your aching body. There was nothing sexual about the way you breathed against the pad of his thumb, relishing his care and simply letting it wash over you, and for a while you were simply content like this, Jacaerys remaining close to you as you breathed through the slowly ebbing pain.

“Do you want me to braid your hair for the night?” He asked quietly like he had so many times before.

Your wonderful beloved Jace. You nodded gratefully as he shuffled once more on the bed and sat behind you. Kissing the back of your head and brushing your hair over your shoulders for you, he got to work.

Your body was lulled into relaxation as his fingers combed through your hair, loosely braiding it so you wouldn’t have to wake up with tangles and knots in the morning. His warmth was a comfort against your back and if the vicious bruise hadn’t been there, you would’ve leaned back against him, ready to melt into his tenderness.

“Vermax saw right through them.” You spoke up after a while, your eyelids drooping from time to time from exhaustion as Jace finished up his braid for you. “He didn’t let them see at first, but there was a moment where I knew he was going to protect me, that he knew what was happening.”

“He loves you as if you were his own rider.” Jace mumbled, affection for you and his dragon in his voice. “I am glad he had been there for you when I wasn’t.”

“I want the finest sheep the shepherds can organize for tomorrow.” You looked over your shoulder with determination and Jacaerys frowned at you, a question in his eyes. You welcomed the small sting your lip caused you when its corner lifted up into a weak smile: “I want Vermax to be rewarded for defending his rider’s princess so honorably.”

“And I’d be honored to be the one to select it for you, my princess.” Jace’s face darkened, fury swirling in his brown orbs. “I still wish they would’ve suffered more. They deserved much more than a quick death of fire.”

His revengeful words were nothing against the soft touch with which he doted on you and when he was done and brushed his fingers once more over your hair, your body wanted to sink into his pillows and melt into them.

Jace laid down with you, carefully adjusting his position beside you so he wouldn’t accidently bump into your sore body. You exhaled deeply when your head touched his pillow, smelling so comfortingly of him. You could not bear to lie on your back, so you snuggled into Jace’s bed on your stomach, hugging his pillow and turning your head so you could look at your love.

He was resting on his side, his brown eyes searching for any discomfort you might have. Your eyes flickered over his shoulder, towards the door of his chambers.

“You are safe now, I promise.” Jace whispered and leaned forward, pressing a small kiss to your nose. “There are five guards outside and my sword leans against the bed. I’m here. Nothing bad will ever befall you again, my love, I swear it with my life.”

You gave him a tiny nod and tried to relax, although it was hard to keep the shadows lingering in the corners of the room at bay. You wiggled one of your hands out from under the pillow and found his, tugging him closer until his lean body warmed your side, one of his hands resting securely on your lower back.

“Tomorrow, I want to take a walk to the cliffs.” You whispered, longing for the fresh air and its cleansing effect.

Jacaerys smiled. “Then it will be arranged. Does my princess wish for any company?”

You nodded timidly, his playful undertone distracting you from the dull throb underneath the ointments. “And I want to have a picnic if the sun is out, with all my favorite things.”

“I’ll tell the kitchens then, first thing in the morning. They’ll be happy to please their future queen.”

“And when I’m healed, I want you to kiss me…” Your eyes drooped, the exhaustion from the night overpowering the little anxiety that remained in you.

“Your wish is my command...” Jacaerys mumbled back, his eyes on you as you slowly drifted off into a well-deserved sleep. He had not been entirely honest with you, there were many things he wanted to do.

He watched you sleep beside him, the most innocent sweet being he knew, covered with his warm clothes and bruises on your skin. Jace still held your hand and was not willing to let it go for the rest of the night.

At the soonest time, he’d convene a council meeting and strengthen the security around Dragonstone. He already had caught word of Daemon wreaking havoc on the guard unions patrolling around the castle for not being more attentive, for the princess was one of his favorite people in this family and Jace knew he’d have an ally for his cause.

He’d take his revenge for you.

But for now, he knew you needed him more than ever, and tomorrow he’d do his best to make you happy again.

He could almost see it in the dark of the room, your eyes closed blissfully against the sunbeams, your hair dancing with the wind as you walked hand in hand as you had done so many times as children. You’d eat ripe peaches and cake and slowly, this incident would move past you until it was only what it was; a shadow in the corner, in the dead of night…

my taglist (open): @princesschimchim1325 @cecestea @jacesvelaryons @princessvelaryon @diannnnsss

#jace velaryon x reader #jacaerys velaryon x reader #jacaerys targaryen x reader #jace x reader

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lolitsbuckybarnes · 21 days ago

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lolitsbuckybarnes · 23 days ago

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Lucky

Summary: Based on this request! Reader encourages Penelope to go on a date, which ends in tragedy. This event shakes the team, leading to conflict, particularly between reader and Spencer, who blames her for what happened.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x BAU fem!reader

Category: angst, fluff

Warnings/Includes: gun mention, Penelope gets shot, typical BAU crime stuff, people getting mad at reader/blaming reader, Spencer icing reader out, Spencer being questionable boyfriend, Spencer saying mean things about reader, happy ending, Penelope is okay, self doubt/blaming

Word count: 16.7k

a/n: Spencer is kind of an ass for a while but it will make sense ! He is still an angel baby

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“So,” Derek says with that familiar smirk, “who’s the lucky guy?”

Penelope's eyes sparkle as she smiles, her fingers toying with a brightly colored pen on her desk. “His name is James. Just this sweet guy I met at the coffee shop. You know... normal, stable. No dark criminal past.” She tries to sound casual, but the happiness in her voice is unmistakable.

“Uh-huh...” Morgan leans in, tilting his head as if scrutinizing her every word. “And you’re sure you want to go out with him?”

A slight defensiveness takes over as Penelope puts her hands on her hips, feigning indignation. “Yes! Why not? Am I not allowed to date now, Derek Morgan?”

Morgan's grin widens, and he shakes his head, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “I didn’t say that. Just... be careful, alright?”

Rolling her eyes with a dramatic sigh, Penelope can’t help but huff. “Yes, Dad,” she quips, wondering why Derek is being so weird about this.

But then Morgan’s expression shifts, softening into something deeper, more earnest. “No, seriously.” His voice drops, gentle but firm. “Just... be careful, Baby Girl. Don’t give away your heart to some guy who hasn’t earned it.”

Penelope hardens slightly, feeling slightly hurt that Derek feels the need to lecture her. “I know, Derek. But... he seems nice. Really.”

Morgan nods slowly and walks away, still caught in the cloud of his concern and overprotectiveness. She lets out a soft sigh, looking down at the pile of case files on her desk, feeling a little bit deflated despite her earlier excitement. She loves that Derek cares, but sometimes he can be a bit... much. She starts to drum her fingers nervously against her desk, mulling over their conversation.

That's when you come in. You'd been passing by and couldn't help but notice the tense exchange. Taking a quick survey of Penelope's expression—anxiousness and longing—you decide to step in, offering a soft but encouraging smile.

"Hey, Pen," you say gently, leaning against the edge of her desk, careful not to crowd her. "You doing okay? I saw the little showdown with Morgan. He can be a bit... intense sometimes, huh?"

Penelope chuckles softly, pushing a stray curl behind her ear. “You could say that. I mean, I know he means well, but... I just want to do normal things, like go out with a guy. And James... he seems so sweet, you know?”

“James?” you say, a teasing grin spreading across your face as you lean a bit closer. “Who is this James?”

Penelope's eyes dart to yours, and for a moment, she looks like a deer caught in headlights, her surprise quickly melting into a flustered smile. “Oh, he’s... just this guy,” she says, her voice rising in pitch as she tries to sound nonchalant. “Met him at the coffee shop. He's sweet, you know... normal.”

Your grin widens, clearly unconvinced by her attempt to play it cool. “Normal, huh? And when exactly were you planning on telling me about this ‘normal’ guy?”

Penelope tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, letting out a playful huff. “Oh, come on. It’s just a date... no big deal.” But the glint in her eyes says otherwise, and you know it’s a big deal to her. And that’s exactly why you’re going to keep teasing.

“Well, it’s still a deal!” you exclaim, leaning forward in your seat, eyes wide with excitement. “Tell me all about it!”

Penelope laughs, the warmth of your enthusiasm easing away the hesitation she’s been holding onto. She fidgets with the edge of her sweater, a shy smile creeping onto her face as she starts to talk. “So... I was at my usual coffee shop, you know, the one with the really good chai lattes,” she begins, her voice picking up speed as she gets lost in the memory. “And then, out of nowhere, this ridiculously attractive man just... walks up to me, like he’s in some kind of rom-com or something. And he... he asked me out.”

You lean back, eyes wide, soaking in every detail of her story. “No way,” you whisper, your excitement infectious. “What did you do? What did you say?”

“Well, I said yes, obviously!” she chuckles, though there's an underlying nervousness. “But... I felt so... I don't know. Conflicted. This just doesn’t happen to girls like me.”

“Girls like you?” Your expression shifts from curiosity to confusion, brow furrowing as you try to make sense of her words. “Penelope Garcia, you are one of the most beautiful, kind-hearted, brilliant people I have ever met in my life.” You lean in, your voice gentle but insistent, making sure she understands every word. “ ‘Girls like you’ deserve the world and more. Don’t you dare think otherwise for a second.”

Penelope’s eyes widen, your words hitting her like a warm, unexpected wave. Her smile softens, and she blinks a few times, trying to brush off the tears welling in the corners of her eyes. “You really think so?” she whispers, her voice almost breaking with vulnerability.

“Are you kidding?” you say, a grin spreading across your face as you reach out to squeeze her hand. “James is the lucky one here, Penelope. Trust me on that.”

She squeezes your hand back, a blush creeping across her cheeks as she ducks her head a little. “So, you’re saying I should go on this date?” she asks, the nervousness wavering just slightly in her voice. “Because... Derek didn’t seem so sure.”

You roll your eyes playfully, leaning back in your chair with a dramatic sigh. “Derek is a man, and men are weird,” you say with a knowing smirk. “I bet he’s got some strange alpha-male possessive thing going on. It’s like, in his DNA or something, to protect his pack. Don’t listen to him. You should absolutely go on this date.”

Penelope’s smile widens, and she lets out a soft, relieved laugh. “Well, when you put it like that... maybe you’re right. I mean, he is just one guy. And he did buy me a coffee...”

“Exactly!” you exclaim, nodding fervently. “You’ve got a very attractive guy who bought you coffee and wants to spend time with you. And, Penelope, you deserve to have fun. So don’t overthink it, okay? Go on the date, be your amazing self, and if Derek has a problem, he can take it up with me.”

She chuckles at that, the tension finally leaving her shoulders, and the smile that spreads across her face is brighter than ever. “Okay, okay. I’ll do it. I’ll go on the date.”

“Good!” you say, beaming. “And when he inevitably falls head over heels for you, I expect a full play-by-play report.”

“Deal,” Penelope says, grinning, the confidence returning to her eyes as she envisions a night filled with possibilities.

When you walked out of Penelope’s office, a spring in your step from the lighthearted conversation, you made your way back to your desk in the bullpen. As you approached your workspace, something immediately caught your eye — a fresh mug of hot coffee sitting on your desk, the steam curling upward in delicate wisps. A secret smile spread across your face as you set your things down and wrapped your fingers around the warm mug, the scent of your favorite brew filling the air.

You didn’t need to guess who’d placed it there. Glancing up, your eyes found Spencer across the bullpen, and sure enough, he was looking at you with that sweet, soft smile that always made your heart skip a beat. The quiet gesture was simple, but it spoke volumes about the thoughtful, caring man he was.

You mouthed a silent “thank you,” lifting the mug slightly as a toast of gratitude, and playfully blew him a kiss. Spencer’s cheeks flushed that adorable shade of pink that always surfaced whenever you flirted with him, and he shyly ducked his head for a moment before glancing back up to meet your eyes. With a wink and a barely contained grin, he turned back to his work, trying — and failing — to hide just how pleased he was to have made your morning a little brighter.

The sweetness of the morning, with its light teasing and the comfort of Spencer’s coffee, was short-lived. The moment Hotch called everyone into the conference room, a palpable shift in energy settled over the team. You quickly gathered your things and followed the others into the room, the coffee that had moments ago been a small joy now forgotten as you braced yourself for the case that awaited.

On the screen in the conference room was the face of a young woman — a bright, smiling 19-year-old with curly brown hair and freckles that dotted her cheeks. The smile in her photo seemed hauntingly out of place for what followed. Abby Connors, the name beneath the picture read. Hotch stepped forward, his face grave, and began the briefing.

“Abby Connors was a 19-year-old freshman at the University of Florida,” he explained. “She left home a little over a week ago to move into her dorm, but she never made it back. Her parents reported her missing, and after three days of searching, joggers found her body near a park in the Everglades, near an area the locals refer to as 'Alligator Alley.'”

A murmur rippled through the room as the next image appeared — a crime scene photo, one that showed just half of Abby’s body. You instinctively held your breath as you took in the gruesome details: everything beneath her waist was missing, consumed by the predators that roamed the swampy area. But it was the condition of the remaining part of her body that made the room go eerily silent.

“She was found with an inverted pentagram carved into her chest,” Hotch continued grimly, pointing to the markings on her torso. “Her fingers were all cut off at the second knuckle, and her throat was slit cleanly.”

You exchanged uneasy glances with your teammates, the horrifying nature of the crime setting in as you processed each detail. “So what are we dealing with?” you asked, trying to keep your voice steady. “Some kind of satanic cult?”

Rossi, who had been leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed, shook his head. “It's not as simple as that. The idea of satanic cults operating as organized serial killer groups has been widely debunked.” He sat up, his expression thoughtful but firm. “The satanic panic of the ‘80s and ‘90s sensationalized a lot of things, but ritualistic killings like this? They don’t happen often in the way people think.”

“So, not a cult,” JJ mused aloud. “But this is still a ritualistic killing, right? The pentagram, the mutilation... it’s not random.”

“Absolutely ritualistic,” Spencer added, nodding in agreement. “The precision of the throat slitting, the removal of the fingers, the inverted pentagram... they all suggest that this was premeditated, and that the unsub wanted to send a specific message with Abby’s murder.”

“This type of ritualistic behavior can escalate,” Derek said, leaning over the table, a serious look in his eyes. “It’s got all the hallmarks of a kill that’s part of a larger motive. If we don’t catch this guy, he’s likely to do it again.”

“Which means we’re looking at a potential serial killer in the making,” Emily concluded, her voice grim. “Someone with a specific set of rituals and a willingness to mutilate and kill.”

Rossi cleared his throat, drawing all eyes to him as he spoke with an almost reverent gravity. “Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate,” he quoted in a low voice, his Italian rolling off his tongue smoothly. Seeing the questioning looks on some of your faces, he translated: “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.”

A silence fell over the room as the weight of those words hung in the air. You knew, as did everyone else in the room, that this case was going to be dark, disturbing, and an all-consuming race to catch a killer who seemed to find something meaningful — perhaps even sacred — in the brutality of his crimes.

And with that, the team set into motion, knowing that every second mattered if they were going to save another girl from meeting the same fate as Abby Connors.

—

After the team closes the case, the team sits in relative silence on the jet, each member deep in thought, processing the horrors. The soft hum of the plane’s engine provides a strange comfort, and the tension of the day slowly begins to ease. Morgan sits across from Rossi, resting his elbows on his knees, staring off into the distance. Rossi watches him for a moment before speaking up.

“You did good work out there,” Rossi says, his voice steady and calm, the kind of voice that always has a way of grounding everyone.

Morgan looks up, giving a half-smile, but there’s a heaviness behind his eyes. “Yeah... but you know how it is, man. No matter how many of these cases we close, it never feels like it’s enough.” He shakes his head, running a hand over his face as if to brush away the exhaustion. “I just keep thinking about Abby’s family. They’ll never be the same.”

Rossi leans back in his seat, folding his hands in his lap, a thoughtful look on his face. “Yeah, it’s tough. But we gave them answers. And sometimes, that’s all we can do. You know as well as I do, it’s not about winning every battle. It’s about making sure we fight it.”

Morgan nods, his jaw tightening as he absorbs Rossi’s words. “I know,” he says, voice a little softer now. “It’s just... there’s so much darkness out there. And some days, it feels like it’s winning.”

Rossi’s expression shifts into something more reflective, a small, wise smile playing at the corners of his lips. “Maybe it feels like that,” he admits, “but the fact that it bothers you — the fact that it bothers all of us — that’s what makes the difference, Morgan. It means we’re still out there, shining a light in the darkness.”

Morgan's shoulders relax a little, and he lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “I guess you’re right. Just gotta keep fighting, right?”

Rossi raises a glass of bourbon from his side table, offering a silent toast. “To fighting the good fight.”

Morgan grins, and they clink glasses in a quiet, shared moment of understanding. The jet continues its journey through the night, a small point of light against the vast expanse of sky.

—

Meanwhile, Penelope walks arm-in-arm with James, her laughter bright and infectious as it echoes down the sidewalk. They reach the front steps of her apartment building, and she turns to face him. “Well, this was... really nice,” she says, giving him a genuine smile.

James grins back at her, and for a second, he leans in as if he’s about to kiss her. But at the last second, he pulls back, laughing playfully. “Sorry,” he says, scratching his head sheepishly. “Didn’t want to be too forward.”

Garcia giggles, shaking her head at his little fake-out. “You almost had me there,” she teases, turning to fish for her keys in her bag. “Well, goodnight, James.”

“Goodnight, Penelope,” he says, stepping back and starting to walk away, giving her one last wave.

As she turns to unlock her door, James suddenly stops, a strange stillness in the way he holds himself. He calls out to her over his shoulder, voice casual but loud enough to make her pause. “Hey, Garcia?”

Penelope looks up, smiling as she begins to open her door. “Yeah?”

James turns fully toward her, the smile gone from his face, replaced with an unsettling calm. “I’ve been thinking about doing this all night,” he says, reaching into his jacket pocket.

Before Garcia can even process what’s happening, James pulls out a gun, his movements quick and fluid. The world seems to slow down around her — her eyes widen, her mouth opens to scream, but the sound never comes.

And then, in an instant, the gun fires. The crack of the shot echoes through the empty street, and Penelope’s body jerks back, eyes wide with shock and pain as she collapses to the ground, her keys scattering across the pavement.

James stands there for a moment, the smoke from the barrel of his gun curling into the night air. He watches as she gasps for breath, a cruel smile curling on his lips before he turns and disappears into the shadows, leaving Penelope lying there, her life slipping away on the cold, unforgiving ground.

—

Back on the jet, you lean back in your seat, facing Spencer with a thoughtful look. “You know, I keep wondering what Penelope’s date is like,” you muse aloud, spinning your half-empty cup of coffee between your hands. “I hope she’s having fun. She deserves it.”

Spencer’s brows knit in mild surprise, his mouth opening to respond, but before he can even utter a word, Derek’s voice cuts across the cabin. “Wait — hold up.” He’s leaning forward in his seat, eyes wide and brimming with concern. “Garcia actually went on that date?”

“Yeah, she did.” You nod, meeting his incredulous stare with a small smile. “I told her to go for it. She’s gotta put herself out there, right? No reason for her to hold back just because you’re all... alpha about it.”

“Alpha?” Derek echoes, looking around at the others as if searching for an ally. “I’m not... okay, look, I just want to make sure she’s safe. And how do you even know if this guy’s legit? Did you see him? Talk to him?”

You wave a hand dismissively. “No, but she deserves to have fun, Derek. She seemed excited, and it’s not like she doesn’t have a good head on her shoulders. I think it’s great that she’s taking a chance on something new.”

Emily nods along in agreement, leaning back with a relaxed smile. “I think it’s sweet. And Penelope isn’t some naïve kid — she’s a grown woman. She can take care of herself.”

JJ chimes in with a bright smile, “Yeah, and besides, it’s not like she’s going to let someone walk all over her. She’ll know if something’s up. And if he treats her right, then it’s all the better for her. Maybe it’ll turn into something special.”

Rossi, watching the whole exchange with an amused smirk, adds, “Sometimes people surprise you. And sometimes that surprise is exactly what someone needs to get out of their comfort zone. Our girl deserves someone to treat her well.”

Derek’s shoulders stay tense, and he shakes his head, letting out a sigh. “I get that, but... I just want to make sure she’s happy. That’s all. You know Garcia — she’s got a big heart, and I don’t want some guy messing with it.”

You reach over and pat Derek on the shoulder, a soft smile on your lips. “I get it, really. But maybe you should trust her on this. Penelope’s stronger than you think, and she’s allowed to take some risks. It’s not always about protecting her, Derek — sometimes it’s about letting her live.”

Spencer, who’s been listening quietly, finally speaks up. “She’ll be fine, Derek. And she’s lucky to have someone who cares as much as you do. But I think what she really needs right now is support... and maybe for us to just be happy for her.”

Derek looks around at everyone, the tension in his expression easing as he sees the genuine support in the eyes of his teammates. He lets out a reluctant chuckle, running a hand over his shaved head. “Alright, alright. I guess I’m just overprotective.”

“Just a bit,” you tease with a playful nudge.

“Fine,” Derek relents, lifting his hands in surrender. “But if this guy hurts her...”

“Then we’ll all be there to kick his ass,” Emily assures with a wink, and the team laughs, the conversation flowing into lighter banter, the tension dissipating as they talk about how much they hope Penelope enjoys her date — all of them unknowingly letting go of their worry while the truth of the night's events remains just out of reach.

You leaned into Spencer, feeling that familiar warmth spread through you as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders, gently pulling you closer until your head rested comfortably against him. You felt the steady rise and fall of his breath beneath your cheek, and he gave you a reassuring squeeze, a silent show of support and affection.

The chatter of your teammates surrounded you, playful jokes about first-date jitters and guesses about how Penelope’s night might be going. It was one of those rare lighthearted moments that made the job feel less heavy. And as you closed your eyes for just a moment, feeling the calm of Spencer’s presence, everything felt okay.

The jet touched down smoothly, and you straightened up, reluctantly leaving the warmth of Spencer’s side as everyone prepared to disembark. But as soon as the wheels hit the ground, Hotch’s phone buzzed loudly against the table. He picked it up immediately, his expression going from relaxed to steely in an instant as he answered.

“Hotchner,” he said, his voice flat and professional.

The team began to gather their things, their attention still mostly on wrapping up the casual conversation, until Hotch’s face went stark white, his eyes narrowing as he listened intently to the voice on the other end of the line. His mouth opened slightly, and you saw the shock in his eyes before he steeled himself again.

“What happened?” he demanded, his tone shifting from its usual calm to something far more urgent. He stood up abruptly, stepping away from the team, but you could all still hear him as the rest of the plane went silent, each of you glancing at one another with rising concern. Spencer’s hand instinctively found yours, and you squeezed it, anxiety blooming in your chest.

“Where was she?” Hotch’s voice was clipped, a mixture of alarm and anger. “When?”

You exchanged quick glances with your teammates. It wasn’t normal to see Hotch like this, and that fear in his voice made the hairs on your arms stand on end.

“Is she...?” Hotch stopped, and there was a pause, a terrible pause that seemed to stretch on forever. You held your breath, waiting, every second feeling like a lifetime.

“Understood. We’re on our way.” Hotch’s voice was low, tight with a struggle to maintain control. He hung up without another word, his jaw clenched so tightly you could see the tension in his muscles.

He turned back to the team, his expression grim, and you knew, you just knew, that whatever had happened, it wasn’t good.

Hotch’s voice was like ice, cutting through the stunned silence of the jet as he delivered the news that seemed impossible to process: “Garcia’s been shot. She’s in the hospital, in surgery.”

The world seemed to tilt, a rush of chaos and confusion drowning out everything else. In an instant, you and the rest of the team scrambled to grab your bags, shock and fear flashing in everyone’s eyes. It was like all at once, the air was sucked out of the room, and before anyone could fully understand what was happening, you were rushing down the steps of the jet. The roar of the engines and the slap of your feet against the tarmac seemed distant, muffled, as adrenaline took over.

Within seconds, you piled into the SUVs, slamming the doors shut as the engines roared to life, and the cars sped off toward the hospital. The journey felt agonizingly long, despite the breakneck speed. No one spoke, but the tension in the car was palpable — every breath was shallow, every heartbeat loud in your ears. Your hand was clasped tightly in Spencer’s, and he held on as if anchoring you to reality, but all you could think about was Garcia and the thought of losing her.

When you finally pulled up to the hospital, everyone practically flew out of the cars, running toward the entrance. The white lights of the waiting room were harsh and sterile, amplifying the dread that hung over the team. Hotch was the first to speak to the receptionist, his voice firm and demanding answers, but the only thing they knew was that Penelope was in surgery — no word on her condition, no updates, and, most importantly, no word on who had done this to her.

And so you waited.

The team paced, hands running through hair, fists clenching and unclenching as they tried to contain the storm of emotions within. The minutes stretched into hours, and the silence felt heavy, like a weight pressing down on each of you. Spencer held you close, one arm wrapped tightly around you as you buried your face into his chest, tears streaming down your face. He murmured gentle reassurances, his hand rubbing slow, soothing circles on your back, but his own eyes were red-rimmed and his voice strained, betraying his fear.

Across the room, Derek’s frustration finally boiled over, and he lashed out, yelling at a nurse who could provide no new information. “What the hell do you mean, you don’t know anything? That’s our friend in there! You have to know something!” His voice was raw, the anger masking his pain, but before he could cause more of a scene, Hotch intervened, gripping his shoulder firmly and steering him outside.

The tension in the room didn't lessen, only growing heavier in Derek’s absence. Emily sat with her elbows on her knees, hands clasped tightly together, staring at the ground as if willing time to move faster. Rossi paced back and forth, his jaw tight, not a word leaving his mouth, but the anger and sorrow on his face spoke volumes. JJ stood near you, hugging her arms to her chest, eyes fixed on the swinging doors that led to the surgery wing, willing them to open with some kind of good news.

Hours passed in that awful purgatory, time stretching and distorting until it seemed like you’d been waiting an eternity. And then, finally, a nurse came out and told you that one person could go back to see her. As a unit, the decision was made for Hotch to go — Garcia had named him her emergency contact, and he was the steady hand, the one who would be able to bring back the information without being overwhelmed by the storm of emotions all of you were feeling.

The waiting resumed, and all you could do was cling to Spencer tighter, the fear and worry seeming to squeeze the breath from your lungs.

When Hotch emerged from behind the doors some time later, his face was unreadable, a mask of professionalism over whatever emotions he was truly feeling. The rest of you gathered around him quickly, every muscle tensed as you waited for him to say something, anything, about Garcia.

“Garcia’s going to make it,” he said, his voice low but firm. You let out a shuddering breath of relief, and the room seemed to collectively exhale. “She’s stable, but...” He paused, glancing at each of you, and in his eyes, you saw a darkness that made your stomach drop.

“It was her date who shot her,” he said quietly. “James. But his real name... is Jason Clark Battle.”

The name seemed to hang in the air like a curse, and it took a moment for the shock to register. And when it did, Derek’s expression twisted with a rage so violent it was almost frightening. “No,” he said, shaking his head as if refusing to believe it. “No, no, no—” His voice rose to a shout, and before anyone could react, he lunged toward you, face twisted with anger and pain. “You told her to go! You told her to go with him!”

His hands reached out to grab you, but before he could touch you, Rossi and Emily were on him, grabbing his arms and holding him back. “Derek, stop!” Rossi’s voice was sharp, his grip firm as he held Morgan in place. “This isn’t their fault!”

“Let go of me!” Derek struggled against their hold, his voice hoarse with fury, his eyes wild and filled with a grief that had no outlet. “I should’ve stopped her... I should’ve...”

Hotch stepped between you and Derek, his face set in a stern, controlled mask. “Enough,” he said, his tone brokering no argument. “This is not how we handle this. We find this man, and we make sure he never hurts anyone again.”

It felt like everything around you was falling apart, the walls closing in as the weight of the world crashed down on you, pressing in from all sides. Your breath caught in your throat, and you turned to the one person who could always make things feel right — Spencer. You reached out to him, seeking his comfort, his steady reassurance. But instead of the familiar warmth of his embrace, you were met with a coldness that hit you like a blow to the chest.

He stepped back, his eyes fixed on you with a look you’d never seen before — something between shock, hurt, and a kind of betrayal that cut deep. The warmth was gone, replaced by an expression that made your stomach drop.

“Spence?” you whispered, your voice trembling, barely more than a whimper. You felt your world spiraling, desperately trying to grasp onto something to steady yourself.

Spencer’s eyes darted to the floor for a moment, then back to you, and he shook his head, his expression clouded with confusion and anger. “You told her to go,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper but laced with pain. It wasn’t an accusation, not quite, but it felt like one all the same. He kept backing away from you, his face crumpling into an anguish you’d never seen before, like he was fighting to hold himself together. And then, without another word, he turned and stormed out of the waiting room, his footsteps echoing.

“Spencer!” JJ called after him, her voice urgent, but he didn’t stop. Without hesitation, she rushed to follow him, leaving you standing there, frozen in place.

Your eyes welled up with tears as you tried to piece together what had just happened, a sob choking in your throat. It felt like the ground had been ripped out from under you, and you were falling, tumbling into a void. You wrapped your arms around yourself, hugging your own body, trying to stave off the cold emptiness that seemed to seep into your bones. You wanted to scream, to cry out and make sense of the look in Spencer’s eyes, the pain in his voice. But all that came out was a soft, broken whisper.

“Spencer...”

Rossi was there in an instant, a steadying hand on your shoulder, guiding you gently to a nearby chair as the reality of the situation crashed over you in relentless waves. Emily crouched down in front of you, her face tight with concern as she spoke softly, her words trying to break through the fog in your mind. But you could hardly hear her. The only thing echoing in your head were Spencer’s words — “You told her to go” — a statement that seemed to slice through your heart, over and over again.

—

You left the hospital soon after Spencer did. The cold night air hit your face as you stepped outside, but the chill did little to clear your head. Everything felt like a blur — Spencer’s words, the look on his face, Derek’s anger — it all played on a loop in your mind, each second replaying with sharper edges, digging deeper into your heart. You didn’t know how to feel, how to process the whirlwind of fear, guilt, and confusion. But one thing was clear: you had to find the man who hurt Penelope.

The next morning came all too quickly. The sun hadn’t even begun to rise when you arrived at the BAU. The bullpen was already a flurry of activity, the team moving with a frantic energy that matched your own desperate need to do something, anything, that could bring justice for Penelope. But as soon as you stepped inside, the adrenaline wasn’t enough to mask the raw pain that hit you when you saw Spencer.

He sat at his desk, fingers typing furiously at his keyboard, his face drawn tight with concentration. You stood there for a moment, holding your breath, waiting for him to look up — to give you some sign, any sign, that you could start to fix whatever had broken between you the night before. But Spencer wouldn’t look at you. It was as if you didn’t exist, like he’d built an invisible wall around himself, and you couldn’t break through. The red puffiness around your eyes was the only outward sign of the sleepless night you’d had, but the exhaustion in your soul ran much deeper.

When you walked past JJ’s desk, she reached out and touched your arm gently, her eyes full of concern, the pity unmistakable. “Hey,” she whispered, trying to offer comfort, but you shook your head, swallowing hard. The last thing you could bear right now was pity. Not when you had to keep it together for Penelope.

The rest of the team looked at you with the same expressions — sympathetic, worried, but no one knew what to say. And the truth was, neither did you. You bit down on the inside of your cheek, feeling the familiar sting of guilt rise in your throat, and forced yourself to look away, trying to focus on the task at hand. It was time to work, and that was something you could still do. Something you could control.

Well, the whole team except for Derek.

Every time he walked by, you could feel his eyes burning into you, his anger practically crackling like static in the air between you. And he didn’t hold back, either. With each passing hour, he took every chance to let you know exactly what he thought, throwing thinly-veiled digs and outright accusations whenever he could.

“This is your fault, you know,” he muttered under his breath when you passed each other in the hallway. “You’re the one who pushed her into going out with that psychopath. If she’d just listened to me, she’d be safe.”

You squeezed your eyes shut as his words stabbed into you like a knife, but you didn’t reply. You couldn’t. You just kept walking, heading back to your desk with that guilt clawing up your throat, making it hard to breathe. There was no time to argue, no room to let Derek’s words take over. But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t shut them out.

And then there were the moments when Derek couldn’t hold it in, when his anger boiled over and his voice rose loud enough for the whole team to hear. “You know that if she dies... if she dies, it’s on you,” he spat, his eyes burning with a fury so sharp it left you feeling gutted. “Her blood’s on your hands. Because you thought it was a good idea to let her go out with some random guy.”

You could feel the eyes of the rest of the team on you whenever it happened, the tension in the room growing thick and heavy as they tried to balance the grief for Penelope and the pain of watching their family fall apart. JJ would try to step in, her voice gentle but firm as she said, “Derek, now’s not the time—” or Hotch would give him a stern look, that unspoken command to drop it. But nothing seemed to get through to him, and each word he threw at you landed like a punch, his grief and fear bleeding out as anger directed at you.

You couldn’t argue with him. You didn’t know how to defend yourself. How could you, when deep down, a part of you agreed with every word he said?

So you did the only thing you could — you kept your head down and worked, staring at files until your eyes burned, listening to updates and following every lead until you were numb to everything except the hope that finding Jason Clark Battle would somehow make it right. You tried to drown out Derek’s voice, drown out the guilt, drown out the sinking feeling that maybe, just maybe, if you hadn’t encouraged Penelope, things wouldn’t have gone this way. But no matter how hard you tried to bury it, Derek’s words followed you, hanging over you like a dark shadow.

And the work continued, relentless and desperate, with everyone pushing forward to find the man who’d hurt Penelope. But the team was fractured, split between their grief and their anger, and the chasm between you and Derek seemed to widen with every word he threw your way.

Even as you worked, though, you could feel Spencer nearby — that familiar presence that you could always sense, whether you were looking at him or not. But this time, it felt different, like an ache just below the surface, a heavy, unspoken rift. He still wouldn’t look at you, wouldn’t speak to you, even as you shared the same space, both working to the same goal. And no one pushed him. No one had the time or the energy to force him to talk through his emotions, not when there was a dangerous man on the loose and a life hanging in the balance.

But every time you heard Spencer’s voice — every rapid-fire observation, every note of urgency — it felt like a reminder of how things had changed in the space of a night. You worked side by side, but worlds apart, both desperate to save Garcia, but more than that, desperate to find your way back to each other.

And so, the hours wore on, a relentless, all-consuming search for Jason Clark Battle, with every member of the team driven by the same furious need to bring him to justice. Because in the midst of all the uncertainty and hurt, one thing was clear: no one was going to let him get away with what he’d done to Penelope. Not while any of you still had breath left to fight.

The team found Jason Clark Battle quickly, all things considered. The determination to bring him to justice — to make him pay for what he'd done to Penelope — fueled every moment, every step, every search through records and combing of evidence. But as the moment of his arrest neared, it became a new kind of challenge: keeping Derek Morgan away.

Hotch had to physically block him from joining the takedown, knowing all too well that if Derek got his hands on the man who shot Penelope, it wouldn’t end in an arrest. “Stand down, Morgan,” Hotch had ordered, his voice like a steel blade, cutting through the thick fog of Derek’s rage. It took Rossi and Emily to finally pull him back, their hands firm on his shoulders as Derek cursed and seethed, every inch of his body vibrating with the need to rip Battle apart. But they couldn't afford to lose two team members to the fallout, and Morgan was forced to stay back, simmering with fury as the rest of the team moved in.

When Jason Clark Battle was finally caught, subdued, and taken into custody, there was a quiet satisfaction in knowing that the man who hurt Penelope would face justice. But the victory was bitter, the relief tainted by the damage left in the wake of what had happened. The case might have been closed, but for all of you, it didn’t feel like a win — not when someone you loved was still lying in a hospital bed, healing from wounds she never should have gotten.

Once the reports were turned in and the team was officially dismissed, you watched as everyone else gathered to visit Penelope. There was a sort of reverence in how they spoke of her, quiet smiles and gentle jokes exchanged as they planned to bring flowers, chocolate, and anything else that would bring a smile to her face. But you couldn't go. The thought of stepping into that hospital room, of meeting her eyes, of seeing the pain and understanding what your advice had led to... it felt unbearable. You couldn’t face her, couldn’t let her see how broken you felt, knowing how close you’d come to losing her because you thought you were doing something good.

So, while your teammates headed to the hospital, ready to surround Penelope with love and support, you went home. The silence of your apartment was suffocating, and it took everything in you to not collapse under the weight of your own regret. The emptiness of being away from the team, from Penelope, only deepened your guilt. But it was better than showing up and making things worse — better than her having to see your face and be reminded of everything that happened.

Instead, you did what little you could from afar. You sent gift baskets filled with all of her favorite snacks — crunchy caramel popcorn, brightly wrapped candies, a couple of silly trinkets you hoped would make her laugh. You sent care packages with magazines, crossword puzzles, and soft blankets she could curl up with while she healed. You tried to send all the comfort you couldn’t bring yourself to give in person, every basket and letter a quiet apology you weren’t sure you deserved to offer. You only hoped she knew that, despite the distance, you were thinking of her. That you were sorry.

And as the days went on, and Penelope stayed in that hospital, you wondered if she could ever forgive you — if one day, when she was better and things returned to some semblance of normalcy, she might understand that all you wanted was for her to find happiness. That, even though your advice had gone so terribly wrong, it had come from a place of love. But the uncertainty of her forgiveness lingered, hanging over you like a cloud, and all you could do was hope that, in time, the rift could be healed.

Until then, you stayed away, waiting for the moment you could finally make amends — if that moment ever came.

—

The next workday, you sat at your desk, your eyes fixed on the papers in front of you, but your mind felt miles away. The sound of your own heartbeat seemed loud in the quiet of the bullpen, pounding relentlessly in your ears as you willed yourself to focus on something — anything — other than the turmoil of the last few days. You barely slept, and the fatigue sat heavy on your shoulders, making every moment feel sluggish, disconnected from reality. The tension still hung in the air, lingering after Penelope’s shooting, and it felt like every step you took was on eggshells, threatening to crack under the weight of all you hadn’t said.

You didn't hear Derek's approach at first, lost as you were in your own thoughts. But when you did catch the sight of his broad form looming in your peripheral vision, your whole body tensed up instinctively, bracing for what you knew would be another wave of anger, another round of accusations that would leave you feeling raw and exposed.

Here it comes, you thought. The guilt clenched in your chest as you waited for the onslaught, already picturing the words he’d throw at you, the blame you knew you deserved.

But then, you looked up, and the expression on Derek's face made you pause. It wasn’t what you expected. The hard lines of anger that had been etched there were gone, replaced by something softer, something regretful. He stood before you, shifting his weight awkwardly from one foot to the other, his hands shoved into his pockets, his mouth opening and closing as if struggling to find the right words.

“Hey,” he finally said, his voice low and rough with emotion.

“Hey.” You nodded back, your voice barely more than a whisper, your body still taut like a rubber band pulled too tight.

Derek glanced down for a moment, and when he looked back up, there was an apology written all over his face. “I, uh... I came to talk to you about... you know.” He trailed off, taking a deep breath as if trying to steady himself. “About what I said. What I did. And... I’m sorry.”

You blinked, the words hitting you like a punch you didn’t see coming. “You’re... sorry?” you repeated, trying to make sense of it, unsure if you’d heard him right.

“Yeah,” he said, nodding. “I shouldn’t have come at you like that. I... I was angry, and scared, and I let it all out on you, and that wasn’t fair. It’s not your fault, what happened to Garcia. You were just being a good friend.” He paused, letting out a long, heavy breath. “And I guess... in a way, I’m mad at myself. Mad that I couldn’t keep her safe, that I didn’t know who this guy was, that I couldn’t stop it... so I put all that on you. And I’m sorry.”

You searched his eyes, looking for any trace of the rage you’d seen before, but all you saw now was sincerity, and pain, and a vulnerability that you hadn’t expected to find there. Derek Morgan — the strongest person you knew — was admitting his own fear and guilt to you, and it felt like the world was tilting just a little bit on its axis.

The tightness in your throat made it hard to speak, but you forced the words out, your voice cracking around the edges. “I... I get it. I mean, I don’t blame you for being angry, Derek. And I’m sorry too. I never would’ve... I never thought something like this would happen.” You looked down, feeling your eyes burn with tears you didn’t want to shed, not here, not now. “If I could take it back, I would. All of it.”

Derek stepped closer, and before you could react, he reached out, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Hey, don’t do that. Don’t put this on yourself. Penelope’s strong. She’s gonna be okay. And you didn’t do anything wrong — you were just looking out for her, just like I was.” He gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze, his voice softening. “We’re all just trying to do right by each other, you know? And sometimes we mess up. But that’s not on you.”

The tears that you’d been holding back finally spilled over, and you bit down on your lip, nodding as you tried to gather yourself. “Thanks, Derek,” you whispered, managing a small, shaky smile. “I just... I just want her to be okay.”

“She will be,” he assured you, his voice full of quiet confidence. “She’s got all of us in her corner. And I know it’s hard to believe, but... we’re gonna get through this. Together.”

He gave your shoulder one last squeeze before letting go, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you felt a small sliver of relief, like the weight pressing down on you had been lifted just slightly.

“Derek...?” you said, your voice small and timid, almost afraid to ask the question that had been weighing on your heart since you’d stepped back into the bullpen.

“Yeah, baby?” he answered, his voice gentle and warm, and the nickname — your old nickname — made you smile, if only for a moment. Spencer had been the one to call you that more often lately, and hearing it from Derek felt like a return to something familiar, something safe.

You took a breath, biting down on your lip as you looked down at your hands, your fingers nervously twisting together. “Have you... have you talked to Spencer?”

Derek’s expression darkened, and he sighed deeply, the sound heavy and full of exhaustion. He ran a hand over his face, the weariness showing in the lines around his eyes, and when he looked at you again, there was a sadness there that made your heart sink even further. “No, mama,” he said softly, shaking his head. “Pretty boy hasn’t really talked to anyone. He’s got something going on in that big head of his, but he’s not letting us in yet.”

You nodded slowly, trying to keep your face neutral, but you knew Derek could see the worry in your eyes. The way Spencer had looked at you — the way he’d walked away from you — it was like losing a part of yourself, and the uncertainty of not knowing where you stood made it so much worse. And now, knowing that he wasn’t talking to anyone, wasn’t letting anyone in... it made you feel like you were watching him slip further and further away, with no way to reach him.

Derek watched you for a moment, then reached out and placed a comforting hand on your arm. “Hey,” he said softly, his voice pulling you from your thoughts. “Whatever’s going on with him, it’s not about you, alright? He’ll come around. You know how Spencer is — sometimes he just needs to get in his head before he can come out again.”

“But what if... what if he doesn't?” you asked, your voice breaking on the last word, the fear you’d been trying so hard to suppress finally spilling out. “What if he never forgives me, Derek? What if—”

“Don’t do that to yourself,” Derek cut in gently but firmly, giving your arm a reassuring squeeze. “You know how much you mean to him. He’s just... processing. And it might take him some time, but that doesn’t mean he’s gone. Just give him space to figure it out. And when he’s ready, he’ll come to you.”

You let out a shaky breath, nodding, trying to hold on to Derek’s words. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess you’re right,” you said, though the doubt still lingered.

Derek smiled softly, a warmth in his eyes as he gave your arm one last squeeze. “Of course I’m right,” he said, his tone lightening. “And in the meantime, you’ve got me and the rest of the team. You’re not alone, okay?”

“Okay,” you whispered, trying to believe it. “Thanks, Derek.”

“Anytime, mama,” he said, his voice low and comforting. “Now let’s get that coffee. We’ve got a lot to do, and moping around ain’t gonna help nobody.”

And with that, he led you to the corner of the bullpen, and you did your best to push the worry from your mind, to focus on what you could do here and now, hoping that Spencer would eventually find his way back to you.

—

The day Penelope returned to work felt almost like a holiday. The bullpen was transformed, bursting with bright colors and streamers that cascaded down from the ceiling. Balloons, in every vibrant hue imaginable, were tied to the chairs, and the break room was packed with all her favorite snacks and drinks — colorful cupcakes, glittery cookies, and more caffeine than the doctor would ever allow. The team had gone all out, putting together a grand welcome fit for the one and only Penelope Garcia. The room was buzzing with laughter and excitement as she entered, everyone cheering loudly as she walked through the doors, wide-eyed and grinning.

It was exactly the kind of entrance Penelope deserved. And as she hugged each person, the joy on her face made the space feel warmer, brighter. But you stood in the back, a small smile on your lips, content to watch from a distance. You clapped along with everyone else, but you kept to yourself, too aware of the gnawing guilt that still sat in your chest. It was wonderful to see Penelope smiling, to see her back on her feet and surrounded by the love of her family. But being there, knowing what you’d encouraged her to do, left you feeling like an outsider, not quite sure where you fit in anymore.

When Penelope finally got to you, it took all your courage to step forward and pull her into a hug. “I’m so glad you’re okay,�� you said, your voice trembling slightly, and you clung to her a little tighter than you’d intended. The relief of finally seeing her in person, of knowing she was safe and whole, made your throat tighten with emotion.

Penelope returned the hug with a strength that surprised you, squeezing you tightly as if she didn’t want to let go. “I’m just happy to see you, hon,” she whispered, her voice warm and forgiving. “It’s been too long.”

You pulled back, offering a small, apologetic smile, but the warmth in her eyes made it clear that there was no anger there, no bitterness — just pure gratitude and love. And for a fleeting moment, you felt the overwhelming urge to spill everything, to apologize for not visiting, to explain the guilt that had been eating away at you. But Penelope gave you a knowing look, a slight shake of her head, as if to say not now. And you understood. This moment was for her — for the joy of being back, for the healing that still needed to happen. The deeper conversation could wait.

But as the celebration continued and the week went on, you still kept your distance. You showed up, of course, participated in the day-to-day, but any time Penelope tried to engage with you beyond work matters, you found ways to cut the conversation short, to avoid anything that could bring up what happened. You didn’t want to push her; you didn’t want to burden her with the weight you were carrying, the idea that anything you say could put her in danger. And you could see she was trying to give you space, to let you come to her on your own terms. But the longer you avoided it, the harder it became to find a way back to the easy friendship you once had.

By the end of the week, it seemed Penelope had had enough. As you were leaving the office one evening, walking toward the elevators, she appeared beside you with a determined look on her face.

“Going somewhere?” she asked, planting herself firmly in your path, hands on her hips.

“Just... heading home,” you said, trying to sound casual, but the way she was looking at you made your heart skip a nervous beat.

“Well, change of plans,” Penelope said cheerfully, not giving you a chance to argue. “You’re coming over tonight. We need some serious girl talk, and I’m not taking no for an answer.”

“Penny, I—” You opened your mouth to protest, but the look on her face was unwavering, her smile patient but insistent, like she’d already made up her mind and wasn’t going to let you wriggle your way out of it.

“Ah ah ah, don’t even try it,” she said, holding up a finger in playful warning. “We’re way overdue for some quality time, and if I have to drag you to my place myself, I will. And believe me, I’ve got the strength to do it.” She gave you a pointed look, raising her eyebrows.

You let out a sigh, feeling the tension in your shoulders slowly give way. How could you say no? Penelope was right; you did need this. And no matter how afraid you were of having that conversation, of putting her in more danger, you couldn’t keep running from her. “Okay,” you said finally, giving her a small smile. “I’ll come over.”

“Good!” she exclaimed, beaming as she linked her arm with yours, pulling you into the elevator with a bounce in her step. “I’ll see you at seven. And trust me, it’s gonna be like old times. Pinky swear.”

And just like that, with Penelope by your side, the world felt just a little bit brighter again.

Being with Penelope felt so easy, so natural — just like it had always been. From the moment you stepped into her apartment, it was as though nothing had changed, as if the heavy cloud of the last few weeks wasn’t hanging over you. She’d set up her place just the way you remembered, warm colors, quirky decor, fairy lights draped over bookshelves, and the familiar scent of lavender. And Penelope, as if sensing your hesitation, knew exactly how to guide you back into a comfortable rhythm.

It started with laughter, of course. The kind only she could pull out of you, a sound that seemed to break down the walls you’d built around your heart. She leaned back on her sofa, legs curled under her as she went on about the latest gossip in her stack of magazines, her voice rising with excitement and exaggeration.

“Okay, so tell me this,” Penelope started, waving around a magazine with glossy pages. “How is it possible that Bruce Willis can just get hotter every year? It’s like the laws of nature don’t apply to this man!”

You laughed, rolling your eyes. “I guess some people are just blessed like that.”

“And don't even get me started on what I saw in the office last week,” she continued, leaning closer with a conspiratorial whisper. “I swear to you, I saw a hickey on Hotch’s neck. A hickey. On. Aaron Hotchner’s. Neck.”

You nearly choked on your drink, the image catching you completely off guard. “No way!”

“Yes way!” she nodded, her eyes wide with the thrill of gossip. “I’m telling you, our stoic unit chief has a spicy side. And speaking of spicy sides, have you seen how Emily and JJ have been looking at each other lately? I mean, come on, are they not totally vibing?”

The conversation flowed easily, effortlessly, and before long, you found yourself leaning back, laughing, the warmth of Penelope’s company soothing all those frayed edges that had been gnawing away at you for so long. For the first time in weeks, you felt like you could breathe again. It was fun to catch up, to just be with her, to hear about all the little things you’d missed — the world outside the darkness you’d been living in. And you could see how much Penelope was thriving, back in her element, glowing with that infectious positivity you’d always loved about her.

But eventually, it happened. The laughter faded, and the unspoken truth sat between you like a presence too big to ignore. Penelope’s expression softened, her eyes meeting yours with that gentle understanding you’d come to know so well. “Okay, hon,” she said softly, resting her hand on yours. “We’ve gotta talk about it. About what’s been eating you up inside.”

You opened your mouth to protest, to make an excuse, but it was like the dam broke before you could stop it. All the guilt, the fear, the shame — it all came flooding out. Tears welled up in your eyes, and you couldn’t stop the trembling as you finally voiced the things you’d been holding onto for so long.

“Penny, I... I don’t know how to say this,” you started, your voice cracking. “But I’m so sorry. I... I didn’t know, I couldn’t know what was going to happen, but I feel like it’s all my fault. If I hadn’t told you to go, if I hadn’t encouraged you to see him, then maybe you wouldn’t have...”

“Stop,” Penelope said firmly, squeezing your hand. “Just stop right there.” Her eyes were intense, her voice steady in a way that cut through all the panic you were feeling. “You didn’t know. None of us did. And what happened — what he did to me — that is not on you. Do you hear me? It is not your fault.”

“But what if it happens again?” you whispered, tears spilling freely down your cheeks. “What if I give you bad advice? What if I invite you somewhere, or we’re just hanging out, and I somehow put you in the wrong place at the wrong time and you get hurt again? I don’t... I don’t think I could handle it. I can’t go through that again. I can’t lose you.”

Penelope’s eyes softened, and without missing a beat, she pulled you into a hug, wrapping her arms around you tightly. “Shh,” she murmured against your hair. “You’re not going to lose me. I promise you that.”

You clung to her, the sobs coming freely now as all the fear and self-blame poured out of you. Penelope held you firmly, stroking your back, soothing you like only she could. “I know you’re scared,” she said gently. “But, sweetie, you can’t carry the weight of things you can’t control. What happened to me — that was on Jason. He was the one who did this. Not you. You were just being a friend, trying to help me find some happiness. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“But I should’ve known better,” you mumbled against her shoulder, the words muffled but filled with regret. “I shouldn’t have pushed you to go.”

“Hey, listen to me,” she said, pulling back to look you in the eyes, her hands gripping your shoulders. “You didn’t push me. I chose to go on that date. And yes, it turned out horribly. But that doesn’t mean you should stop being my friend, or stop giving me advice, or living your life like you’re walking on eggshells around me. I need you, okay? And I need you to be you, because that’s the person who’s always been there for me, the person I love. I don’t want you holding back because of fear.”

The sincerity in her voice, the love, and the forgiveness shining in her eyes broke down the last of your walls. You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat as you tried to believe her words. “I just... I don’t want to lose you,” you whispered again, your voice small and vulnerable.

“And you won’t,” Penelope said, her voice steady and resolute as she held your gaze. But then, her expression shifted, her eyes searching yours with a gentleness that only she could carry. “But I know that’s not all.”

A flicker of confusion crossed your face. “What do you mean?”

Penelope hesitated, biting down on her lip before speaking, her eyes dropping to her hands as she fidgeted with a loose thread on the blanket draped over her lap. When she finally looked up again, there was a hint of sheepishness in her expression, like she was tiptoeing into territory she wasn’t sure she should tread. “I know you were worried about me, hon,” she said softly. “And I love you so much for that, for being there for me even when you couldn’t actually be there. But… I can tell I’m not the eye of the hurricane inside your head.”

You felt your breath catch, the truth of her words hitting you with a force that left you momentarily speechless. It was as though she had seen straight through you, through all the guilt, all the fear — to the thing that lay beneath it all. And as much as you wanted to deny it, to tell her that it was just about her, you knew you couldn’t lie to Penelope.

You sighed deeply, the weight of everything you’d been holding onto crashing down on you again. You sniffled, trying to steady your voice as you nodded slowly. “Spencer,” you said, the name leaving your lips like an admission of a wound you hadn’t yet looked at directly. “Spencer hasn’t talked to me since we found out what happened.”

Penelope’s eyes widened with sympathy, and she reached out to take your hand, squeezing it tightly. “Oh, sweetie...”

“It’s like he just shut me out,” you continued, your voice trembling. “The day we found out about you, he walked out of the hospital without even looking back. He hasn’t said a word to me since, and every time I try to talk to him, he just... shuts down. I know he’s hurting. And I know he’s probably just processing everything, but...” Your voice cracked, and you shook your head as the tears welled up again. “It feels like I lost him too. Like I lost both of you. And I don’t know how to make it right.”

Penelope listened intently, her face softening with every word you spoke. She could see how much pain you were carrying, how deeply Spencer’s silence had cut you. “Have you tried talking to him? I mean, really talking to him? Not just about work or everyday stuff, but about how you’re feeling?”

You nodded, though your shoulders slumped as the hopelessness of it all settled back in. “I’ve tried, Pen. I’ve tried so many times. But every time I get close, it’s like he just... builds a wall. He won’t even look at me sometimes. And it hurts, because I don’t know what to do to fix it.”

Penelope was quiet for a moment, her expression thoughtful as she processed your words. Then she sighed softly, her fingers intertwining with yours. “You know what I think?” she said gently. “I think Spencer is hurting more than he knows how to deal with. And I think he’s taking that hurt and turning it inward — or maybe even outward. But I also know that he cares about you so, so much. He wouldn’t just turn his back on you for good.”

You shook your head, the tears finally spilling over again. “But what if he has? What if he’s blamed me for this just like everyone else did?”

“Honey, listen to me,” Penelope said, her voice firm but full of compassion. “Spencer Reid might be a genius, but he’s also a human. And sometimes, humans don’t know what to do with all the pain they carry. That doesn’t mean it’s your fault, and that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. He just needs time, and you might need to let yourself be okay with that. I know it’s hard, but you can’t carry both your own guilt and his.”

You sat there, taking in her words, trying to let them sink in. It was easier said than done, but hearing Penelope — wise, compassionate Penelope — tell you that it was okay to not have all the answers gave you a sliver of relief.

“Do you really think he’ll come around?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, the vulnerability clear in your eyes.

Penelope smiled, a genuine, warm smile that seemed to light up the whole room. “I know he will. And until then, you’ve got me.”

You nodded, squeezing her hand, feeling a small, fragile hope begin to grow in your chest.

—

The kindness and warmth Penelope had shown you was not extended to Spencer when she found him in the breakroom Monday morning. You were still settling in at your desk when you saw her storm across the bullpen, determination in her eyes and anger practically sparking off of her. You didn’t think much of it at first — Penelope’s strong-willed presence was no stranger to the office. But when you saw her walk straight up to Spencer, her expression dark and unyielding, you knew something was about to happen.

Spencer, who had been stirring his coffee absently, looked up in surprise as Penelope closed the distance between them, her heels clicking sharply against the floor. And then she let him have it.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Spencer?” she hissed, her voice low and venomous as she jabbed a finger into his chest. “Ignoring Y/N for weeks? Shutting her out like she’s some stranger? After everything you’ve been through together, and everything she’s done for you, you have the nerve to treat her like this?”

Spencer flinched at her words, his face going pale as the berating continued. He opened his mouth to respond, but Penelope wasn’t letting him get a word in.

“Y/N’s been tearing herself up over what happened, blaming herself for something that wasn’t even her fault! And you know what? Instead of being the partner she needs — the person who supports her no matter what — you’re just adding to the guilt. You don’t get to treat her like that. Not after—”

“I almost lost one of the most important people in my life because of her!” Spencer choked out suddenly, his voice cracking with emotion as he interrupted Penelope’s tirade. His eyes were wide and filled with fear and frustration, and he looked like he was unraveling with every word. “I almost lost you, Penelope, because she told you to go on that date.”

Penelope’s expression shifted then, the anger replaced by a deep, aching sympathy as she let Spencer’s words sink in. There was a silence, a heavy silence that felt like it filled every inch of the breakroom. And neither of them knew that in that very moment, you’d walked up to the door, hearing Spencer’s words, and froze. The world around you seemed to fall away as his voice echoed in your head, the raw pain in his tone seeping into your bones. You stayed there, heart pounding, unable to move.

“Spencer,” Penelope said slowly, her voice gentle but firm, trying to rein in her own anger. “That was not her fault, and you know it. Do the math, genius. Jason was targeting me from the start, whether I was on that date or not. He had me in his sights long before Y/N ever said anything. Stop blaming her for something no one could control.”

Spencer scoffed, shaking his head and rolling his eyes as if trying to brush off the weight of her words. “Yeah, well, you say that, but it’s not that simple. If she hadn’t—”

“No, Spencer!” Penelope’s voice cut through his, sharper now, and she pointed a finger right in his face. “You listen to me. That is your girlfriend we’re talking about. Your life partner. Your best friend. Y/N has been there for you through everything. Do you remember when you were so drugged up that you didn’t even know what you were doing, or who you were with, when you lashed out at her in the middle of the night? And did she blame you? Did she shut you out? No. She held you, she comforted you, and she made sure you got the help you needed. She has never given up on you, not once, and you’re giving up on her?”

Spencer was silent. His mouth opened as if to respond, but nothing came out. He looked at Penelope, his eyes burning with anger and anguish and something far more complicated. And for a long moment, the silence stretched between them, his chest rising and falling with quick, shallow breaths.

When he finally spoke, his voice was barely a whisper, cracking with the strain of what he was feeling. “I love Y/N more than anything else in this world. But how can I trust her to make good decisions for herself, at all, if her last one almost got you killed?”

And that was all you could take. The words hit like a blow to the chest, and before you knew what was happening, you let out a sob, loud and choked and broken. The sound tore through the silence, and both Spencer and Penelope whipped around, eyes wide in shock as they realized you’d been standing there, hearing everything.

“Y/N—” Spencer started, panic flooding his voice as he took a step toward you.

But you were already moving, already running. You turned and fled, the tears blurring your vision as you rushed down the hall, away from the breakroom, away from the words that had shattered you all over again.

“Shit!” you heard Spencer yell from behind you, followed by the sharp slap of his hand hitting the cabinet in frustration, the loud bang echoing down the hall. But you didn’t look back. You couldn’t look back. All you could do was keep running, trying to outrun the pain that seemed to chase you down with every step.

“Was it worth it, Reid?” Penelope asked, her voice breaking the silence that filled the breakroom after you’d fled. There was no anger left in her tone — only a sadness, heavy and deep, that seemed to echo around them. She looked at Spencer with a sorrowful expression, searching his eyes as if she could somehow pull out an answer that would make sense of what had just happened. “Was it worth it? To get that off your chest?”

Spencer stood there, frozen, his hand still resting on the cabinet door he’d slammed shut in frustration. The thud of it still seemed to reverberate in the air, mingling with the ghost of your sobs. His jaw clenched, his eyes staring blankly at the floor where you’d stood only moments before, now empty.

He didn't respond, and for a moment, it seemed like he couldn’t find the words. He just shook his head, unable to meet Penelope’s gaze.

“Did it help?” Penelope pressed, her voice gentle but insistent. “Did it make you feel better? Because from where I’m standing, you just broke the heart of the person you say you love more than anything else.”

Spencer’s shoulders slumped, and he closed his eyes tightly, fighting back the emotions threatening to spill over. “I don’t know,” he finally choked out, his voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know, Penelope. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to make this right. I was just... I was so angry. So scared. And I... I took it out on her.” He ran a shaky hand through his hair, his eyes squeezed shut as he let out a shaky breath. “I don’t know how to take it back.”

Penelope’s face softened, but there was no pity in her eyes, only a deep, aching understanding. “You can’t,” she said softly. “You can’t take back what you said. But you can make it right. You can own up to it. You can tell her the truth — that you were hurting, that you let the fear and anger get the best of you. That you don’t actually believe she’s to blame for any of this.”

Spencer finally looked up at her, his eyes red-rimmed, filled with regret. “But what if she doesn’t forgive me?” he asked, his voice raw with desperation. “What if I’ve lost her?”

Penelope took a step closer, reaching out to touch his arm, grounding him in her touch. “Then you fight for her, Spence,” she said, her voice steady and sure. “You do everything you can to make her see how much she means to you. You remind her that you love her, that you need her, that this — all of this — was just you not knowing how to handle almost losing two of the people you care about most.”

She paused, her voice softening even more as she gave him a sad, knowing smile. “But first, you’re going to have to forgive yourself. Because all that anger you’ve been carrying? It’s not about Y/N. It’s about you.”

Spencer let out a shaky breath, nodding, the weight of her words pressing down on him. He knew she was right — he knew it all along. But knowing it and facing it were two different things. And for the first time in weeks, he allowed himself to truly sit with the pain of it, to feel the regret for what he’d done, and the fear of what he might have just lost.

And in that moment, the truth settled in his chest like a stone: if he had any chance of making things right, he’d have to confront his demons, no matter how much they scared him. Because he loved you. And he was going to do whatever it took to get you back.

—

You found an empty office as soon as your legs carried you far enough away, stumbling inside and shutting the door behind you before you could even think of stopping the sobs that clawed their way up your throat. You leaned against the wall, your hands over your face as you let yourself cry — really cry — until the tears came freely, the weight of Spencer’s words sinking in like a stone in your chest. Every breath hurt, and the dam of emotions you’d held back for so long finally broke. It wasn’t just about what he said, but how deeply it cut.

Minutes passed, or maybe it was hours; you couldn’t be sure. You let it all out, every sob, every tremor that racked through you. And then, as the tears finally slowed and the pain dulled into exhaustion, you knew you couldn’t stay hidden forever. The team was counting on you. Penelope was counting on you. So you pulled yourself together as best as you could, taking slow, deep breaths and wiping your face with the sleeves of your shirt until your hands stopped shaking.

The mirror in the bathroom was unforgiving as you stood there, splashing cold water on your face. You ran your fingers under your eyes, trying to erase the smudges of mascara that had stained your cheeks, and did your best to fix your hair, to smooth away any evidence of your breakdown. But your eyes were still puffy, red-rimmed, the remnants of your tears clearly visible. And you knew, even as you straightened your posture, forcing a calmness you didn’t feel, that everyone would see right through it. That they’d probably all heard what happened.

But you had work to do, and you couldn’t afford to fall apart again. So, with a deep breath, you steeled yourself and walked back out into the bullpen, your head held high, your shoulders squared. Even if your composure was a fragile thing, even if you felt like you could shatter with the slightest touch, you made your way to your desk, focusing on each step as if it were the only thing holding you together.

The bullpen felt different now, the energy heavier than it had been before. Conversations were hushed, the usual buzz of the office subdued as you passed by. You knew they were watching, that they’d seen or at least heard what had happened in the breakroom. But you didn’t look around; you didn’t meet anyone’s eyes. You just sat down at your desk, opened up the stack of files in front of you, and forced your focus onto the work, letting it be the only thing that mattered in that moment.

Across the room, Spencer sat at his own desk, and as soon as you walked in, he saw you. He saw the way you held yourself together — the straight line of your back, the tightness in your expression, the way you refused to let your gaze wander to his. And he hated it. He hated knowing that he had done that to you, his love, that he’d been the reason for the pain and exhaustion etched into your face. He’d never seen you like this before — so closed off, so... dim.

He watched you bury yourself in your work, your fingers moving mechanically across the keyboard, your pen scribbling across the pages as if each word was a way to silence the hurt. And all Spencer could do was sit there, guilt and shame wracking his mind as he thought about what he’d done — how he’d let his anger and fear control him, how he’d let it spill out onto you, the one person he swore to protect, the one person who deserved none of it. His brilliant, loving, beautiful girlfriend, who had always stood by his side, even when he didn't deserve it.

He made you cry. He made you doubt yourself, blame yourself for something you had no power over. And the light that usually radiated from you — the brightness he loved so much, the joy you carried so effortlessly — was gone, dulled by the weight of the hurt he’d caused.

Every fiber of Spencer’s being screamed at him to get up, to walk over to you and wrap you in the biggest hug he could manage. He wanted to hold you, to whisper a thousand apologies, to promise that everything was going to be okay and that he’d never, ever make you feel this way again. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t bring himself to move, because he knew that it would take more than that — more than a hug, more than an “I’m sorry” — to fix the damage he’d caused. It would take time, and understanding, and patience — all things he wasn’t sure he even deserved from you after what he’d said, what he’d done.

—

Later that evening, the weight of the day still clung to Spencer like a thick fog. Unable to concentrate, unable to push past the regret that gnawed at his insides, he found himself reaching for a small comfort — your favorite book. It sat on his shelf, the well-worn cover soft under his fingertips as he pulled it down. You had gifted it to him long ago, lovingly annotated with notes, doodles, and highlighted passages. Each page was filled with bits of you — your humor, your thoughts, your heart. Categories like “reminds me of you,” “our jokes,” “my favorite quotes,” and “scenes I wish I could live with you” peppered the pages, showing just how much care, time, and love you’d put into making it special for him. It had been one of the most thoughtful gifts he’d ever received.

He settled onto the couch, the book resting heavily in his lap. And as he flipped through the pages, he let himself be pulled into the memories, letting his fingers brush over your handwriting, your underlines and notes. He read the small snippets where you’d connected a moment in the book to a joke only the two of you shared, where you’d drawn silly little hearts in the margins or underlined lines that spoke to you. And he could almost hear your voice as he read your thoughts, your teasing comments, your kind words. It felt as though you were right there with him, the warmth of you emanating from every page.

The tears came slowly, silently, at first just a sting in the back of his eyes that he tried to blink away. But as he read deeper, the notes growing more tender, the love you’d put into every word more apparent, he let them fall. He let them fall because he could feel the depth of what he’d pushed away, how much you’d loved him, how much you still loved him. And how horribly, deeply he’d hurt you.

He was reading a note that simply said, “This reminds me of the way you look at me when you think I’m not watching”. He laughed softly through his tears at your handwriting, slightly wobbly from when you’d annotated it while on a train, but the joy of that memory only made the pain sharper, cutting through him like a blade. He wished he could take everything back, go back to when things were easier and he hadn’t let his fears get the better of him.

Then his phone started ringing. Spencer’s hand trembled slightly as he reached for it, and when he saw the screen light up with your contact photo, his breath caught in his throat. It was that picture — the one he’d taken when he brought you to New York City for the first time, to the MET and the New York Public Library. You’d insisted on making a goofy growling face next to the stone lions out front, hands curled into claws as you posed, trying to match their fierce stance. He’d laughed so hard as he took the photo, snapping the picture while you were mid-roar. And now, as he stared at it, the memory made him smile, even through his tears.

His thumb hovered over the answer button for a moment, heart pounding in his chest, before he finally pressed it, bringing the phone to his ear. “Hello? Y/N?” he managed, his voice cracking slightly, unsure of what to expect.

“Hi, Spence,” you sighed, your voice soft, almost hesitant. “I’m... um, I’m outside. Can I come in?”

The relief and panic hit him all at once. You were here. You’d come to him. “Y-Yeah, of course,” he said quickly, fumbling to stand as he set the book aside, the pages fluttering closed. “I’ll be right there.”

He hung up, practically stumbling to the door, his heart racing with both fear and hope. And as he reached for the door handle, he tried to steady himself, knowing that whatever came next, whatever words you had to say, he was ready to listen. Because you were here, and he wasn’t going to let this moment slip away.

As soon as Spencer swung the door open, he was met with the sight of you standing there, tears staining your cheeks, your eyes red and puffy, your breath coming out in shaky gasps.

“I’m so sorry, Spencer,” you choked out, your hands trembling as they twisted together in front of you. “I’m so, so sorry for everything. I should have never told Penny to go on that date. I should have... I should have called to check on her, I should have thought about how all of it affected you. I’m—”

“What?” he whispered, his voice coming out strangled with confusion and pain as he cut you off. He stepped closer to you, his eyes searching yours desperately, trying to make sense of your words. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I messed everything up,” you continued, the sobs making your voice tremble as you tried to hold yourself together. “I never meant to hurt you, or Penelope, or anyone, but all I did was make things worse. If I hadn’t told her to go, if I had just stayed out of it, none of this would have happened. And you—” Your voice cracked, and you struggled to find the right words, to get out everything you’d been holding inside for so long. “You wouldn’t have had to go through this, you’d still trust me, and you wouldn’t hate me. I don’t want you to hate me, Spencer. Please don’t hate me.”

Spencer’s heart shattered at the sight of you breaking down in front of him, blaming yourself for something you had no control over, something that had haunted him every day since it happened. He couldn’t stand it, couldn’t stand the thought of you carrying this burden when it was his anger, his fear, that had driven you away. And all he wanted to do in that moment was take away your pain, to make you see that you weren’t to blame, that he had been so, so wrong.

“Hey, hey, stop, stop,” he said urgently, stepping forward to close the distance between you, his hands hovering for a second before he pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly against his chest. “Please, don’t say that. Don’t be sorry.” He pressed his face into your hair, his voice desperate as he tried to find the words that would make this right. “I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. I love you so much. I’m the one who’s sorry, I’m the one who hurt you, who shut you out when I should’ve been there for you.”

You trembled in his hold, your tears slowing down as you clung to him, and Spencer tightened his grip, trying to convey everything he felt through the warmth of his embrace. “I was scared,” he whispered, his voice cracking as he spoke. “I was so scared of losing both of you. And I know that’s not an excuse, but I... I let that fear control me, and I took it out on you, and it was so wrong. You were trying to help Penelope, trying to be a good friend, and I blamed you for something that was never your fault.”

You pulled back just enough to look at him, your eyes filled with confusion and anguish, and Spencer could see the questions there, the doubt that still lingered. “But... but I was the one who—”

“No,” he said firmly, cupping your face with his hands, his thumbs brushing away the tears that streaked down your cheeks. “No, Y/N. What happened to Penelope — that’s on Jason. Not you. And I should have been there to tell you that, to support you, instead of shutting you out. I was so scared of losing you that I pushed you away and I hurt you. And I am so, so sorry.”

The sincerity in his voice, the tears that filled his eyes as he spoke, the pain of being apart, and the love that still held you together, left you breathless.

“Please don’t apologize,” Spencer said softly, his forehead pressing against yours. “You did nothing wrong. You were just being you — the caring, loving person I fell in love with. And I am so sorry for making you feel like you couldn’t be that person.”

You closed your eyes, trying to steady your breathing as you pulled away, giving yourself some space. Grabbing a tissue from the side table, you dabbed at your nose and wiped away the tears that still clung to your lashes. Spencer watched you carefully, the anxiety on his face clear as he tried to read your silence. You didn’t speak for a long moment, your gaze fixed on the floor, arms wrapped tightly around yourself as you thought through everything that had happened. He stood there, holding his breath, afraid to interrupt whatever was going through your mind.

“I love you, Spence,” you whispered finally, your voice shaking but full of truth. “I love you so much.” You finally lifted your head to look at him, letting the words hang between you like a fragile thread of hope.

His shoulders relaxed slightly, a small flicker of relief crossing his face as he stepped closer to you, his eyes searching yours. “I love you too,” he murmured, the words spilling out quickly, like he was afraid you might change your mind if he didn’t say it fast enough. “More than anything. And I’m not going to let anything come between us again.” He reached out, his hands hovering just in front of yours, desperate to close the space between you. “Please... don’t leave me.”

“Leave you?” you asked, your brows furrowing in confusion as you took in the worry on his face. “Spencer, why would you say that?”

“Well, I—I treated you terribly, and we weren’t talking, and we fought, and I was so awful to you,” he stammered, his voice shaky as the fear spilled out. “I... I know what I did, and I know I hurt you, and I just... I was scared that maybe... maybe you wouldn’t want to be with me anymore.”

“Spencer,” you said softly, taking his hands in yours, your fingers intertwining as you squeezed them reassuringly. “That doesn’t mean we’re breaking up. We had a fight. A really bad one. But now we have to work through it. Together.”

His eyes met yours, and for a moment, all you saw was vulnerability — the way he was trying to hold himself together, the way he was fighting not to let the guilt and fear overwhelm him. “But what if... what if I hurt you again?” he asked, his voice so quiet it almost got lost between you. “What if I say the wrong thing, and you...”

“Then we’ll talk about it,” you said firmly, your voice steady as you spoke. “We’ll talk, we’ll talk and we’ll figure it out, and we’ll make sure we don’t let it happen again. But I’m not leaving you, Spencer. Just because we had a fight... that doesn’t mean we’re over. We’re stronger than that.” You paused, brushing your thumb over the back of his hand. “I know we have a lot to work through. I know it’s not going to be easy. But I love you, and I’m here. We’ll do it together, okay?”

He nodded, a flicker of hope brightening his eyes, and he let out a shaky breath, relief flooding through him. “Okay,” he whispered, tightening his grip on your hands. “Together.”

“And, baby?” you asked, your voice soft but steady as you tilted your head to look up at him, trying to catch his eyes and make sure he really heard you.

“Yeah?” Spencer responded, his voice barely above a whisper, eyes meeting yours with that familiar mix of love and uncertainty, as if he was afraid to say or do the wrong thing.

You squeezed his hands gently, your thumbs brushing over his knuckles, grounding both him and yourself in that touch. “You have to talk to me if something is bothering you,” you said, your tone gentle but firm, the words full of the honesty you both needed. “I can’t fix anything, and we can’t work on anything, if I don’t know what’s going on inside your head. If you’re hurting, or if you’re scared, or angry... you have to let me in. Okay?”

Spencer nodded, his eyes never leaving yours, and you could see how hard he was trying to take in your words, to let them settle in his heart. “Okay,” he said softly, his voice thick with emotion. “I... I’ll try. I promise.”

You gave him a small smile, leaning in just a little closer. “That’s all I’m asking,” you said gently. “We have to be able to talk to each other. No matter how hard it is, no matter what’s going on — we have to do it together.”

He closed his eyes, and you watched as he took a slow, deep breath, the tension in his body finally loosening as if he’d been holding it in for far too long. When he opened his eyes again, something had changed. It was subtle, but you saw it — a spark of determination that hadn’t been there before, a promise to do better, to be there for you in all the ways you both needed. But there was something else, too — a hunger, an intensity in his eyes that you hadn’t seen in so long. It was the way he used to look at you, that mix of need and devotion that made your heart race.

“God, I missed you so much, darling,” Spencer sighed, and before you could respond, he pulled you into another hug, his arms wrapping around you so tightly you almost lost your breath. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, inhaling deeply as if to remind himself of your scent, the comfort of your presence, the closeness he'd gone too long without. His hands gripped your back firmly, holding you as though you might disappear if he let go.

You melted into his hold, your own arms winding around him as he pulled you flush against him. It was a hug that spoke of all the longing and pain and love that had built up between you, a hug that was both desperate and grounding all at once. You could feel the way his breath hitched as he held you closer, the way his fingers dug gently into your back, and you knew that this was more than just an embrace of comfort — it was everything he’d held back for so long, all the love and want and need finally spilling over.

“I missed you too,” you whispered, your lips brushing against his ear as you pressed yourself closer to him. And for that moment, nothing else mattered but the two of you, tangled together, holding each other like you never wanted to let go.

Spencer pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes dark and filled with a need that made your stomach flip. His hands slid up to cradle your face, thumbs brushing lightly over your cheeks as he spoke, his voice low and breathy. “Can I kiss you, Y/N?” he asked, his eyes searching yours, the words full of both desire and hesitation — a question that held the weight of all that had passed between you, of all he hoped to mend.

You giggled softly, your heart swelling at the sight of him so close, so vulnerable. “I’d be offended if you didn’t,” you teased, leaning into his touch, a smile tugging at your lips as you nodded.

Spencer’s lips twitched into a smile, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you saw that light return to his eyes — that playful, loving look he always gave you before pressing his mouth to yours. And then he was kissing you, soft at first, like he was trying to remember how it felt. But as soon as his lips met yours, you felt the relief and longing melt between you, and he kissed you deeper, his lips moving against yours with all the tenderness and passion he’d been holding back.

The world around you seemed to blur, everything fading away as you sank into him, the feeling of his mouth on yours so familiar, so perfect, like coming home. You could taste the salt of tears, his and yours mingling together, and as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer, needing to feel all of him — his warmth, his love, the steady rhythm of his heart beating against yours.

He kissed you like it was the only thing that mattered, like he was trying to memorize every second, every touch, making up for every painful moment you’d spent apart. There was something so intense, yet so tender about it — a kiss filled with all the love and longing, spilling over with every movement of his lips against yours. It wasn’t rushed, but it wasn’t slow either; it was the kind of kiss that lingered and sank deep into your bones, like a promise of something stronger, something unbreakable.

It was the sweetest kiss you think the two of you had ever shared. You felt every ounce of passion and desire radiating off him, every bit of love poured into that moment. Spencer’s hands were gentle as they rubbed your back, his fingers moving in small, slow circles, not daring to roam too far but enough to make you shiver at the warmth of his touch. Each caress was careful, as if he was both holding you close and holding himself back, trying to savor every second of feeling you close again.

You clung to him, your own hands gripping the fabric of his shirt so tightly your knuckles were turning white, and you couldn’t bear to let go. You didn’t want to lose even an inch of contact, afraid that if he pulled away, even for a moment, you’d lose this — lose him. The world seemed to dissolve around you, and all that existed was the pressure of his mouth on yours, the faint taste of coffee on his lips, the way his hair brushed against your forehead as he leaned in closer.

Spencer broke the kiss for just a second, pressing his forehead against yours, his breath mixing with yours as he let out a soft, shaky sigh. And then he was kissing you again, pulling you closer, as if he couldn’t bear to be apart for even a second. You could feel the desperation in his touch, the depth of what you meant to each other — not just words, not just promises, but something tangible and real. Something that neither of you were willing to let go.

And in that kiss, you felt the world right itself, felt the cracks begin to heal, and the pieces of both your hearts start to fall back into place. You didn’t know what tomorrow would hold, but for now, this was everything. And that was enough.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

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#spencer reid x reader #dr spencer reid #criminal minds

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lolitsbuckybarnes · 28 days ago

Note

Hi! If you are still accepting requests would you be ok with writing something with poly emt or doctor rem where your tampon string breaks? (I heard that actually happens and vowed to never use them like God that's terrifying)

Hi lovely thanks for your request and it’s also important to me that you know this is extremely (extremely) rare so I hope you’re not too freaked out! Ly <3

cw: non-sexual nudity (full disclosure, he puts his fingers in her so potential sa trigger though to be clear there's nothing even slightly malicious about it)

doctor!Remus x fem!reader ♡ 692 words

You stare down at the white braid of thread in your hand and try to take a deep breath.

“How is it possible that I have no socks?” Remus opens the bathroom door, going to the mirror and frowning as he combs down a couple errant pieces of hair with his fingers. It’s normal for him to come in without knocking, you’re far past the point of being pee shy around him, but this morning you’re horrified at the intrusion. “I swear I’m always buying socks. Do you think you have any pairs that might fit me, lovely? I need some to wear to work.”

“Remus,” you say.

You try not to be alarming, but Remus is perceptive and he’s alarmed nonetheless. He turns to you with a wary expression.

“Dove?”

You hold up your severed string feebly. “I’ve lost my tampon.”

“Oh.” He blinks, eyebrows lifting. “Okay. In…where?”

“In me.”

“Have you tried to get it out?”

You nod, feeling the burning of panicked tears in your eyes. “I can’t find it.”

“Okay, that’s alright.” Remus hesitates for only a second before opening the cabinet and grabbing a towel. “I can get it for you. Let’s go to the bed.”

You don’t move. “What if we can’t get it?”

Remus stops in the doorway. Doubles back. “Hey,” he says softly, taking your hand and bending to look you in the eyes. “We’ll get it out, sweetheart. You’re not the first person this has happened to, and it’s not my first time dealing with it. Come with me, okay?”

You follow him tentatively. Your boyfriend has the momentum of a man with a plan. You watch as he unfolds the towel partway towards the end of the bed, smoothing it out. “Climb up here for me.”

You go where he tells you, sitting atop the towel and waiting awkwardly for your next instructions. You’ve really no clue what to do.

Remus offers you a gentle smile. “Don’t think this will do us much good,” he says, pulling the tampon string from between your fingers. You hadn’t realized you’d still been holding onto it. “How long has it been in for?”

“Overnight,” you answer quietly. “More than eight hours is bad, right?”

“It’s probably fine,” he assures you. “It increases your risk for infection, but we’d know if anything had set in. I’m going to get it out, alright? You trust me?”

You nibble your lip. “Okay.”

“Okay, sweetheart. Lay down, try to relax.”

You lay on your back, folding your hands on your stomach, and try not to cry. It’s not that you’re worried Remus will hurt you, or even that you’re uncomfortable with him feeling around for your tampon—you’ve been in far more compromising positions with him—just that this unforeseen and horrific development feels like a lot to adjust to after just waking up. This is not how you were expecting your morning to go.

Remus folds one of your legs up higher (“Can you keep this here for me please, lovely?”) and soothes his hand over your hip while his other one sweeps a slow, searching circle inside you.

“Found it,” he says. “Hold still for just a bit longer, I’ve almost…got it.” He emerges victorious, your tampon held proudly between two fingers. “See? Not so dire.”

“Oh my god.” Your relief is immense, bigger than words. A tear slips out when you close your eyes. “Thank you.”

“Oh, my love.” Remus pulls you upright, folding you into a hug. He sets the tampon down on the towel beside you, shushing you when you fret about getting blood on it (“What did you think it was there for?”). He sways you back and forth a few times, kisses the salty corner of your eye. “You’re alright, sweetheart. We’ll keep an eye on you to make sure nothing changes, but I don’t think it was in long enough to be too dangerous.”

“Just, thanks for your help,” you sniffle. “I was really freaking out.”

“I can tell,” he laughs, giving you a fond squeeze. “I get why you’d be nervous, but try not to worry too much, okay? I’ve always got you.”

#doctor!remus x reader #remus lupin x reader #marauders x reader #period fic

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lolitsbuckybarnes · 28 days ago

Note

hi, loveyy. if you'd like, would you write for reader x dr!remus where she's really sick and tries to hide it from him so he doesn't worry?

Thanks for requesting!

doctor!Remus x fem!reader ♡ 1k words

Remus keeps your apartment torturously cold. Normally you don’t mind it, but today you’re achy enough without the chill. The first thing you do when you get home is crank up the thermostat, then take a steamy shower and start warming the kettle. Proactive measures.

You’re taking better care of yourself than you possibly ever have, all to the end of eluding your boyfriend.

When Remus comes home, you’re sitting on the couch in your cozies waiting for your thoroughly honeyed tea to cool. You’re quick to remove the warm cloth from your sinuses before he can see. You make sure your throat is clear before you speak.

“Hi, how was work?”

“Swamped.” Remus bends over the back of the couch to kiss your hair. “Everyone has the flu, strep, or both. Every year, no one gets their flu jabs, and every year they’re shocked when they catch it.” He comes to sit by you, smiling tiredly. “I’d want to throttle all of them if they weren’t already so miserable.”

It’s an effort to keep your shame from showing as you return his smile. Remus starts to lean toward you, but you back away, keeping your mouth a safe distance from his.

At his questioning look, you say feebly, “You smell like your office.”

He lets out a breath of laughter but moves away. “Alright. I’ll change.”

You send him a guilty look as he goes that he doesn’t know the half of, but Remus only smiles indulgently back at you.

From down the hall, you hear, “Dovey, did you change the thermostat?”

Shit, you forgot to switch it back.

“Yeah, sorry. I was chilly when I got home.”

“It’s fine. Do you…want me to leave it like this? It’s set fairly high.”

“Um…” Honestly, yes. “That’s okay. I’m good now, you can set it back.”

“Alright.”

You hear the ticks of the thermostat being turned down, and you grab a throw from across the back of the couch, wrapping it tightly around your shoulders.

“Do you want some tea?” you ask him after a minute. “I’ve just made myself a cup.”

“That’s okay, sweetheart, stay where you are.” Remus emerges from the bedroom in his own house clothes, looking painfully snuggly. He heads for the kitchen. “You left the honey out. Do you still need it?”

You wince. “No, I’m alright.”

When Remus rejoins you in the sitting room, you pretend to be busy with your book. He sits back in his spot, and you cozy up to him before he can try to kiss you again, your head on his shoulder.

“Are you still cold?” he asks, adjusting the throw over you.

You hum a lie.

Remus seems satisfied with that. He tucks you under an arm and picks up his own book.

You’re a few pages in when your nose starts to tickle. You try to breathe through it, hoping it will go away, but it’s no use. You’re hardly able to pinch your nose shut before a sneeze pitches out of you, violent and head-throbbing.

“Bless you.” Remus rubs your back. “You okay?”

You sniffle. “Yeah. Sorry.”

“No reason to be sorry, lovely girl,” he chides gently. You feel his lips touch down on your head.

You soak up the comfort like warmth on a wintry day. Miraculously, Remus doesn’t question you any further, and eventually you lay your head back on his shoulder. You flip pages without truly reading them, your mind fuzzy and your body exhausted, until your eyes grow heavy and you forget to flip them at all. At some point, Remus’ head tilts so it’s resting atop yours. When he starts massaging the back of your neck, it feels so nice you don’t even really register it.

“Dove,” he murmurs.

You hum in pleased, half-asleep acknowledgement.

“You need to stay home from work tomorrow, sweet girl.”

You blink your eyes open slowly. Pick your head up off Remus’ shoulder, and look at him in confusion. “What?”

He looks back at you patiently. “Your fever’s gotten worse, and you’re contagious. It’s not good for you or anyone if you go in.”

“But…” Your brow furrows. You feel like you’ve missed a chapter. “How did you know?”

Remus gives you an amused look. “I see sick people all day long. You thought I wouldn’t notice?” You frown. He chuckles and cups your face in his hand, thumbing over your cheek consolingly. “You were clearing your throat all evening yesterday. But it didn’t seem bad yet, and you didn’t seem to want to tell me, so…” He shrugs. “But now it’s time to let me take care of you, okay?”

You rub your lips together. You think you’re waiting for him to be angry with you, but your boyfriend seems only sympathetic. And a bit smug.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble. “I didn’t wanna be another thing for you to deal with.”

“Oh, hush.” Remus tsks, shifting so he can wrap his arms around you. “I like dealing with you, have I not been clear about that?”

“You don’t want to throttle me because I’m another idiot who didn’t get the flu jab?”

You feel the reverberations of his quiet chuckle in his chest. “First of all, I said I would want to throttle them. I’m a doctor, I can’t just be contemplating throttling my patients. And no, sweetheart.” He slips his hand from your shoulder down the length of your back, rubbing through your blanket. “I don’t think that about you. I wish you’d gotten it, but there’s nothing to be done now. You’re sick, and I only want to look after you.”

The onslaught of tenderness melts you. You let your face slip down to his shoulder, nose pushing into his neck. “My head hurts,” you mumble.

“Awe, dovey.” Remus brings his other hand to your nape, massaging the achy muscles there again. “Have you had paracetamol since you’ve been home?”

You shake your head mutely.

“I’ll get you some in a minute, then. And we can have soup for dinner, yeah?”

“Yeah, thanks.” You feel frighteningly teary. “Will you stay here for a while with me first, though? Please?”

Remus’ lips press softly to your forehead. “Sure, of course.”

#doctor!remus x reader #remus lupin x reader #marauders x reader

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lolitsbuckybarnes · 28 days ago

Text

🥺🫶

Fainting & Fever

Summary: Hiding a fever? Check. Passing out? Check. Confessing your feelings to your boss? Wait woah?

When you confess your deep buried feelings to your boss in your fever.

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader, BAU x platonic!reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: fever, fainting, rest is good I guess.

Word Count: 3.8k

A/N: This was supposed to be platonic but I didn't feel like it is romantic :) This is my first time writing any non-platonic work. All the pics I have inserted are more clear when clicked if you want to see (Tumblr did something). Positive Criticism is welcomed.

"So, what are you ladies up to tonight?" Morgan asked while driving, his focus on the road. You'd just finished a case, and as usual, Morgan was eager to make plans before another case thrust you back into the world's horrors.

"Well," JJ began with a sigh, eyebrows raised, "I'm going to spend the whole day resting with my boys." She finished with her radiant smile.

"What about you, Prentiss?" Morgan glanced at Emily in the passenger seat.

"No plans yet, but who knows? I might have something by the time we land."

"L/N?" Derek called out when he realized you hadn't answered, lost in your own world.

You sat beside Spencer, staring out the window, oblivious to your surroundings. The heat you felt was consuming every coherent thought.

"L/N?"

"Huh? What did you say?" you asked, turning your head so quickly that JJ and Spencer wondered how you didn't get whiplash. Your voice remained calm and soft.

"You okay?" Spencer asked, his hazel eyes filled with concern.

"Why wouldn't I be, Spencer?" you replied, mustering a small smile to maintain your façade.

"You just seem...down," he commented, studying you intently. You gave him another small smile, shook your head, and winced. Your head felt as if it had been struck by an invisible hammer. Spencer either didn't notice your wince or chose not to comment.

"You up for some fun tonight?" Morgan asked again, though you were barely aware.

"What fun?" you frowned. The way he said "fun" made you think it might not be the kind you'd enjoy.

"Seriously, sweet girl? You're spending way too much time with Reid. I'm talking about bars, drinks, and if you get lucky, then maybe—" Morgan started with a Cheshire grin, while your eyes widened.

"No," you said in a high-pitched tone, embarrassed at the thought of hooking up with a random guy when you already loved someone.

"What do you mean, 'no'? Come on. We don't get many days off, L/N. You should enjoy them when you can."

"Morgan, I can't," you said, shifting uncomfortably.

"And why is that, sweet girl?"

"Hey! Garcia will take offense if you call someone else 'sweet girl,'" you said with a smile, appreciating his use of a nickname for you.

"Nah. My baby girl will never be offended by this, and you're not just someone else," he replied confidently.

"But answer the question, sweet girl," he prompted, aware you were avoiding it. He assumed your hesitation was due to your reluctance to go out, knowing how you and Reid felt about drinking and socializing.

"I've got some work to do, Morgan. Also, I'm tired," you said, leaning your head back.

Morgan's expression changed instantly.

"Go straight home when we land, Y/N, not to Hotch's office. Whatever files you have to work on can wait. If I didn't know him better, I'd say he's making you do overtime."

"Exactly. Hotch will understand, and there's no need to tire yourself out," Spencer added softly.

Their concern warmed your heart. "Of course, gentlemen," you replied, amusing the others.

The conversation drifted back to their plans while you gazed out the window, watching amoeba-shaped clouds float slowly across the sky. The view was therapeutic, but you didn't tell them how awful you were feeling.

When you woke up that morning, it felt as if hell had descended upon Earth just for you. Your muscles ached, protesting and begging you to return to bed, but you couldn't. Lives were at stake, a case needed solving. Now, the muscle pain had given way to a headache and constant zoning out.

You longed to get home as soon as possible, yearning for your fluffy blankets to engulf you completely, save for your head. You hoped your phone might end up in a ditch for the day, allowing you to remain in your cozy cocoon until you felt well enough to face the world—and potential case calls—again.

Soon, you arrived at the airstrip, where Emily and JJ surrounded you.

"So, where's your mind wandering today?" Emily asked with a mischievous grin. Before you could answer, JJ chimed in.

"In dreams of Hotch, of course. Right, Y/N?" You quickly shushed her, glancing around to ensure no one had overheard.

"JJ, Emily, we're at the airstrip," you whispered urgently. "Someone might hear you. It's supposed to be a secret. Sometimes I think you and Garcia are determined to let Hotch find out." You began trudging toward the plane, feeling drained.

They both laughed and high-fived.

"We do want you two together," Emily said.

"You should tell him yourself," JJ added. "Besides, if he overhears by accident, it'll only speed up your love life."

"By the way, Y/N, will you only go out with us if Hotch is there too?" Emily teased.

"Guys!" you groaned as they laughed.

Your crush on Hotch had started early in your tenure, initially based on his looks. But it deepened into something more profound, to the point where his well-being affected you deeply. You felt terrified when he faced dangerous situations. That's when you knew you were in trouble.

There was no way he'd fall for someone who could barely speak to him. You had your reasons for avoiding him. The days leading up to this decision were hellish. Never had you stumbled over your words as much as you did then. And what did he do?

He always gave you a patient look and nodded softly, encouraging you to speak your mind. It was manageable until you started losing yourself in his eyes or staring at his face constantly. After that, you ensured you were never alone with him except when working on case files. You began doing this so he could go home early and rest, reasoning that a few extra files wouldn't impact your time.

You were startled from your reverie by the memory of Garcia suggesting that Hotch might like you too. You still don't believe her, but a girl could hope.

"If it gets too much, I want you to pull out."

"Sir?" you asked, confused, looking up from your gun at your boss, who was surveying the team preparing to ambush the unsub's house.

"Everyone has off cases, L/N, but with time, most of us have learned to deal with it. Still, we pull ourselves out when needed. You're still new. So, pull out if necessary. Do you understand me?" he said, now looking at you, his gaze sweeping over your shorter form. You looked up at him intently, lost in his eyes until he raised an eyebrow. You could have sworn you saw his eyes soften slightly.

"Yes, sir."

"Call me Hotch, Y/N." With that, he walked towards the rest of the team as you hurried to catch up.

Back at the FBI building, you dashed to Garcia's lair. She was your first friend, and you both had a tendency to ramble about various topics. Sometimes Reid joined in. As soon as you saw her, you hugged her. Hugging Garcia was like therapy—you could feel your worries, guilt, and other negative emotions leaving your body. You felt yourself relax, your body lighter. You called it "Garcia magic”! It was an added bonus that Garcia was fond of physical affection.

When you told her about Hotch's words and your feeling that he was worried and all other incidents where he acted the same—though you thought that was impossible—she flashed her beaming smile, all her white teeth showing. Her eyes, however, held the amusement of knowing something you didn't.

"I didn't know sweet cheeks, he cares for you this much." Garcia mused, clearly pleased by what you'd shared.

This much? And what do you mean?" you asked, your curiosity evident.

"Hmm hmm. He looks at you the same way Will looks at JJ. He's so soft with you and he isn't like this with anybody. Maybe except Jack of course."

“Garcia there’s no way in hell he likes me. Maybe he was trying to be sweet.” you asked her trying not to get your hopes up.

This is a paradox. You are sure. Damn sure! Garcia began laughing while you gave her an incredulous look. She didn’t stop until you threw a teddy at her. “My sweet sweet girl, Hotch is never sweet with anyone. Ask Emily about it if you are unsure but nope nada in my so many years of being at BAU, he’s never sweet with anyone.”

"Maybe you are overthinking this Garcia. Hotch and I don't even know each other.”, you mumbled looking at your hands in your lap.

“That is an argument I will have with you on another day but what I'm saying is that Hotch likes you.", she says with a small almost sad smile.

"If you want you can observe him. You're a profiler baby. Yow will know.", she added gleefully.

Henceforth, you observed Hotch as profiling team members was off-limit. He had a tendency to smile at you softly and he didn’t offer others the same amount of options that he did to you , but you attributed this to being new. You were certain he'd show his more authoritative side once you were no longer considered the newest member. Definitely!

Lost in these thoughts, you suddenly felt your vision blur and your surroundings distort.

"Whoa! You okay?" Emily asked as she grabbed your forearm, while JJ held the other. They exchanged concerned looks when you didn't answer immediately. You shook your head slightly and replied,

"Yeah, yeah. Just slipped."

They didn't seem convinced but didn't press further.

"Be careful," JJ said, patting your shoulder.

"Yeah, of course," you mumbled, trying to regain your composure.

Hotch and Rossi chatted as they walked, their conversation drifting from Jack's football to other topics. Before they knew it, they'd arrived at the airstrip. As Hotch boarded the plane, he froze in surprise. You were seated next to his usual spot—an unexpected sight, given your habit of avoiding him outside of group settings or work situations. Your presence there felt nothing short of miraculous.

Not wanting to give Rossi a chance to tease him, Hotch quickly sat beside you. He was certain you hadn't noticed his arrival, as you were deeply engrossed in the case report—something you rarely worked on during flights.

His attention shifted back to Rossi when the older agent began discussing plans for a pasta dinner. From the corner of his eye, Hotch caught you glancing up, offering both him and Rossi a small smile before burying yourself in the file again. It was odd, considering the report wasn't due for days.

He didn't want to finish it quickly, knowing an empty home awaited him. No one would be there to greet him—just silent walls. Jack was on vacation with Jessica's family for the next few days, leaving Hotch alone in the city. He stole another quick glance at you, resisting the urge to look more often.

Hotch was sure he would never fall in love again after Hayley. He loved her from such a young age and so much that loving someone else felt betraying the love he had bestowed upon Hayley all those years. Even after getting a divorce, he didn't stop loving her completely. Sometimes, he liked to believe they separated not because they fell out of love, but because their love was so intense that their arguments became too painful. However, he knew this wasn't the reality. He sighed and pulled out his file.

His thoughts soon drifted to you. Lately, contemplating love inevitably led him to think of you. Sometimes you don't know what hit you until it does. Falling in love with you was the same. He was falling in and never realised until the day he got a letter. From you.

Hotch had slowly fallen in love with you. That was the truth of his life, he stayed away from for a long time. How could he stay away when your every action seemed to win his heart anew? Each time he learned something new about you, he fell a little deeper.

You were a sweet addition to the team. It didn't mean you were all the time sunshine. Everyone learnt that the hard way. He mentally chuckled at the fight you and Morgan had over dark chocolate to the extent you were ready to beat him black and blue. However, your sweet gestures towards everyone on the team always warmed his heart.

He reminded himself to remain professional. After all, he was on a plane with a group of profilers who could decipher his feelings in minutes if given the chance.

"L/N, can you tell me about the—"

"L/N?" Hotch called out again, surprised you didn't hear him the first time. Still, you didn't reply. Rossi also looked up.

"Y/N? Y/N!" He said, touching your shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah. What happened?" You looked like a deer caught in headlights, making both Hotch and Rossi confused.

"Nothing happened. I was just asking you about the case," he replied, looking at you. You were looking...different. It was as if every laugh and joy had been drained from your life.

"I'll be right back," you said, standing up and moving before Hotch had a chance to stop you.

The moment you stood up, you knew you shouldn't have done that. You were far better sitting down. Now the pounding in your head intensified, along with the feeling of being shaken up to the point where you could see everything oscillating. You tried to keep yourself still, hoping your surroundings would become normal.

The next thing you knew, everything went black.

Hotch saw you swaying and moved instinctively. He caught you, one hand on your waist, the other on your shoulder, trying to keep you up while you were dead weight. However, it wasn't as easy as it seemed in the movies.

"Y/N? Y/N. Hey, wake up!"

"Y/N!" He squeezed your body against him.

However, his yelling got him nowhere. You didn't respond, lying still in his arms as if you were taking a nap. Hotch would have believed it if he hadn't seen you go down in front of his eyes.

"Y/N," he called out again, softly this time, yet the response was the same. He swept your hair back from your face.

Unable to keep you up, he gently lowered both of you onto the aisle. He moved his hands to your shoulders, gently shaking you, but you showed no sign of waking up.

He didn't notice anyone else until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and saw Rossi sitting beside him, looking alarmed by the happenings. Morgan was above your head. The rest of the team was also hovering.

"What happened, man?" Morgan asked while taking the sweater Reid offered and putting it under your head.

Hotch didn't answer. He himself didn't know what was wrong with you. One minute, you were standing and the next plummeting down like the apple which led to the discovery of gravity. His hand went to your cheeks, where he felt the heat radiating. His frown appeared and deepened as he touched your forehead.

"She's burning up!" Hotch said worriedly, still keeping his tone full of calmness while his heart was trying to beat out of his chest. Having a fever is one thing but passing out from it is entirely another. He couldn't help but feel the small burning sensation in his chest at the thought of being ill, even if it was a fever.

You could hear people talking, but why would there be people at your home? You scrunched your face and blinked your eyes multiple times before fully opening them. Everything was blurry at first, but soon it became clear, along with the horrible pounding in your head. You tried to sit up, but a firm pair of arms pushed you back.

"Hey Bella, don't try to get up. Stay still."

"Wha-what happened?"

"You fainted," Hotch said. The rest of them had dispersed, knowing Hotch would take great care of you and that a crowd wouldn't help much.

"I don't feel good," you groaned, your hand massaging your head.

"Yeah, I gathered that much. Tell me what's exactly wrong, L/N?" Hotch had your hand in his, rubbing it softly to ease the pain in any way he could.

"I don't feel good," you mumbled again with half-closed eyes. You were mostly disoriented from what Hotch could figure out.

"You have a fever."

"I do?"

It was taking you time to gather what was happening. He blamed the fainting and fever. It took you time, but you slowly opened your eyes fully when you noticed Hotch still sitting at the edge of the sofa. He still held your hand, and your legs were on his lap. Being in touch with him felt like second nature; you didn't even notice until you opened your eyes. You quickly tried to pull back your legs and hand, but Hotch stopped you with his hold.

"Don't move so much, Y/N. Relax," his voice soft and calming, as always.

You sat in silence for the rest of the journey, which wasn't very long. You were clutching onto his forearm as he helped you sit up to go home. When you came outside the plane,

"Hotch, I can go home by myself," you began, your voice small, hoping to regain some of the dignity you lost after fainting in front of your entire team.

"Y/N, you can't stand straight, and you want to drive home by yourself?" Hotch asked with a raised eyebrow.

"There are other ways to be suicidal than this, sweet girl," Morgan quipped, walking beside you, not that you noticed. You looked up at him and then at Hotch, concern shining in both of their eyes.

"I'm not joking," you huffed.

"Neither are we," Morgan said.

"Y/N, it's final. I'm taking you home," Hotch ordered. That's what it felt like to you.

Hotch had an arm around your waist, supporting you as your body threatened to collapse. He hurried towards your apartment, aware of your rising fever. He couldn't give you medicine without food, but he was grateful for your unfiltered speech—it revealed the extent of your discomfort.

"You know, Hotch?" you began as he fumbled with the door. You leaned against the wall for support.

"Dahlias are my favourite flowers. They symbolize change, dignity, and elegance."

"They're native to Mexico, right?" he replied as you entered the apartment.

"Yeah! You know about them?" you asked, turning your face abruptly.

"Easy, honey. No sudden moves," he cautioned. "And yes, I've picked up a few facts over the years."

"I've always loved them. So colourful, bright, and beautiful," you laughed softly.

Hotch had never heard you speak so freely. He found himself enchanted by your voice, certain you could rival Reid in flower trivia.

After settling you on the sofa, Hotch fetched water, fruit, and medicine. You tossed your shoes aside and reluctantly took the pills, groaning as you slumped back.

"You should change into something more comfortable," Hotch suggested, removing his own shoes.

You looked at him, startled. Realizing his phrasing, he quickly clarified, "I mean, you should put on some comfy clothes."

At his insistence, you changed. When you returned, Hotch had shed his coat and tie, his shirt partially unbuttoned.

"Aren't you going home?" you asked, confused.

"I'll stay tonight, in case you need anything."

"There's no need, Hotch. You must be exhausted from the case. Go home and rest. I'll be fine."

"Y/N, it's better if someone's with you tonight. You fainted on the plane. I wouldn't be able to relax not knowing how you're doing," he admitted, his voice soft.

You smiled at his thoughtfulness and curled up on the sofa with a blanket and pillow. You both decided to watch Star Wars.

Partway through the movie, you turned to Hotch, staring intently.

"You know, Hotch?"

"Yes?"

"I love you. Like, really, really love you," you said with a lopsided smile.

Hotch froze, completely still. He hadn't been this motionless since he first held Jack, afraid of hurting his newborn son. He never imagined you reciprocated his feelings, but he knew if he didn't get the conversation going right now, he not going to know about your feelings when you are not loopy due to medicine.

“Yea?”

"Mm-hmm. You're so wonderful and adorable and just... so cute. Yeah, you're intimidating at work, but the rest of the time? Totally cute."

"Oh, am I?"

Though your tongue was loosened by the medicine, you were more lucid than you let on. Having suppressed these feelings for so long, you couldn't stop now that you'd started. You wanted to tell him everything—him about all those feelings that you shouldn't have about him but you do, how couldn't help but fall for him slowly and every day seeing him made your day.

He was so handsome! His pretty dark brown chocolate-coloured eyes are swoon-worthy. Whenever you look into them, you feel hypnotized, unable to look away from them but not being present in the time; you often find yourself lost in them, forgetting his words as you gaze at him. Right now, he was looking directly at you, and you were drowning in his gaze.

How does he not realize the effect he has when he looks at someone like this?

Hotch's smile grew with each word you spoke.

"You're so handsome, ridiculously handsome. Have you seen yourself under that table lamp? You look like some movie hero poring over case files."

He blushed and glanced away at your flood of compliments. You cupped his face, turning it back to you, your eyes wide and intent. His smile made your frown melt into the biggest grin he'd ever seen on you. You looked beautiful.

"I just really like you, but I know you don't like me," you said, your voice small.

He frowned at your words.

"I love you too, honey, but I'll give you the full answer when you're well enough to remember it. Word for word," he replied softly.

You squealed with delight.

"You aren't just saying this to spare my feelings, right?" you mumbled a few moments later.

He cradled your face in his hands. "I would never say such a thing just to spare someone's feelings, Y/N. I love you. More than you can imagine."

Your questioning continued throughout the movie, but you refused to turn it off.

"You must have had many admirers in college. How many girlfriends did you have?" you asked, your head resting on his shoulder while his hand on your waist pulled you closer. Both of you kept your eyes on the TV.

"I only had one."

"No, you're lying. You're far too handsome to have had only one girlfriend your entire life."

'You can become the second.'

"What did you say?"

"I didn't say anything, sweetheart."

"Did you just call me sweetheart?"

"You're imagining things, L/N. It's a common symptom of high fever. Of course, I didn't call you sweetheart, honey."

"Oh, but I—you just called me—"

"What?"

"Never mind. I must be imagining it."

"Yes, you're definitely imagining things."

#aaron hotchner x female!reader #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #sick fic

1K notes · View notes

lolitsbuckybarnes · 29 days ago

Text

best friend james without boundaries again!!

mdni, this has smut in it, i hope you guys enjoy it :))

sleepovers with james are the best thing on this planet, especially if you haven't seen eachother the whole day. meeting up with him after a stressful day, filled with studying and reading about different potion ingredients, is always such a relaxing feeling.

the way he whines about missing you, and thinking of hugging and touching you the whole day.

the way he cradles you to his broad and strong chest, thick arms wrapping around you, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

the way he begs you to sleep in his bed tonight, because he had "such a bad day without you, i need you tonight, love, i can't sleep without you!".

so of course, as his best friend, it is your duty to make him feel better, and try your best at making him forget about the bad day he was having.

you're lying in his bed, wearing only his shirt and boxers, humming a tune that got stuck in your head, while sirius and peter are palying chess on the opposite side of the room.

"don't you think it's a little weird, sleeping in prongs' clothes and letting him kiss and touch you like he's your boyfriend? not that i'm judging, but i've just been wondering", sirius interrupts your little tune.

you sigh, tired of answering this question every day, "no sirius, why would it be weird? jamie and i just understand eachother and we don't get weird about cuddling and hugging eachother. that's just our love language!"

"alright, if you say so..", sirius shakes his head, as if he's disappointed. maybe he made a wrong move against peter?

suddenly the door to the restroom opens, and out steps james in his low-hanging pants, that make his v-line visible. he's still wet from his shower, his abs and chest glittering from the light reflecting of the little water drops.

he swiftly moves towards his bed, tugging the blanket up and getting under it, immediately pulling you to himself.

"jamie, you're still drenched!", you squeek out.

he smiles at you and apologises, "sorry love, didn't mean to get you wet."

sirius coughs and remus' eyes widen behind his book. " oh my god, you guys are such perverts!", you exclaim, "jamie, close the curtains, i don't want to see them anymore!"

james chuckles as he's closing the bed, laughing at the gobsmacked looks on his mates faces, "good night, boys."

you wake up to james moving against your back, " jamie?"

he mumbles your name, while rubbing up against you. suddenly you notice, that a very particular part of him was indeed in dire need of attention. you call out his name again, and start turning around to shake him awake.

as you finally manage to wake him up, his eyes widen and you can immediately see the shame and apologies swimming in his eyes, "jamie, don't even worry about it! we're best friends, if you need something, i'm happy to help you!"

"are you sure? i don't want you to feel uncomfortable or anything", he frowns at you.

"i've never been surer, really, don't worry about it!"

james never really expected to be in this situation. of course he thought about it and hoped sometimes, but he never dreamed that one day, he would get to do this.

you're lying on you back, his shirt and boxers nowhere in sight, letting him rub your chest and nipples with one hand, while holding himself up slightly with the other.

"oh my god, this feels so good", he moans out, rutting his swollen cock against your bare body.

goosebumps cover your whole body, and james wants to kiss every inch of you, mark you as his, and make you forget about any other male in your life besides him.

"you make me crazy. i'm going crazy because of you, fuck", he mutters into your neck, continuing to play with your nipples, squeezing and pulling them.

you moan out his name, and james thinks that nothing on this world will ever sound that good again. "you're so good, love. you're the best friend anyone could ever ask for, oh love, i- fuuck, i am so fucking lucky."

one of your hands runs down your body, nearing his dick. you wrap it around him, and james almost loses his control. the way your hand looks so small around his tip makes him nearly cum.

"come on, jamie.. you're doing so good, you're such a good boy, thank you so much."

james blushes and hides his face in your neck. whining, he pulls some of your skin in his mouth and starts sucking.

"jamie, stop! everyone will see, they're going to know what you did to me!"

"oh fuck, i want them to know. i want everyone to know you're mine. shit, tell me you're mine", james whimpers and starts rutting against you even faster.

you moan out and he thinks, that after this night he will not be able to live his life normally anymore. "i'm yours jamie, of course i am."

james can't hold back anymore, he really tries, but he just can't. " i'm cumming, oh fuck, i'm cumming." rope after rope of his cum cover your lower body, some of it landing on your pussy.

he looks at you with wide eyes and and apologises, promising you that he's "going to eat you out so good, just wait a moment. thank you, love, thank you so much", kissing your face and lips like he can't get enough of it. and he really can't, he's obsessed with you beneath him.

his lips start wandering from your collarbone downwards, and he feels you bucking up into him.

smirking against your skin, he starts leaving little bites here and licking over your body there.

finally arriving at your cunt, he places a little kiss right at the center of it and inhales. it smells so incredibly addicting, and james is sure, that nothing could pull him away from you at this moment.

he feels blessed, he feels so good in a way he has never felt like before. he thinks this is what going mad feels like.

"sweetheart, why have you been hiding this from me? i could have had this so long ago", he moans against your pussy starting to lick into you.

this is definitely what going crazy feels like. james feels crazy, he's going crazy.

he can't describe how he's feeling right now, every little emotion inside of him mixing together, making him incapable of forming together a sentence.

"oh my god, you, you taste so good, oh fuck", james is eating you out, like it's his last meal, moaning against you and grinding into the bed.

slowly, he drags a hand up and starts teasing your little hole with one of his fingers. "baby, i'm gonna stick my finger inside, okay? i really wanna stick it inside, please baby? let me put my finger inside you?"

he's whining, he knows that he sounds really pathetic right now, but it's you, and you are his exception for everything. you are the only one allowed to see him in this postion. no one else, ever.

your legs start shaking and you clench your pussy, as he finally puts his fingers to good use. james keeps kissing and sucking on your clit, enjoying the taste of you a to concerning amount.

he knows you're about to cum, he doesn't know how, but he feels it inside of him, like a ticking time bomb.

"come on, my love. grind it out on me, yes, just like that. feels so good, fuck, i could do this all night."

as you moan and cum on his mouth, james realizes that he will never get enough of you, now that he was finally allowed to taste you.

as you finally catch your breath again, james looks up at you with a face of worship.

"you taste so good, i'm genuinely addicted to you now." he huffs against your pussy, starting to give it little kisses here and there.

he licks your oversensitive flesh, as you whine about it being "too soon, jamie, my pussy feels so sensitive, please be careful."

"just one more time, darling, i just need one more taste", as he starts up again, your poor little pussy twitching against his lips.

i hope you liked it!! if you have any tips, please don't hesitate to help me out!!

also this is my first time writing smut, so please tell me how you liked it :))

#best friend james potter #marauders x reader #james potter x reader #james potter smut

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lolitsbuckybarnes · 1 month ago

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lolitsbuckybarnes · 1 month ago

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Omg this is a masterpiece ❤️

Heavenly

You confess to your very good friend and neighbor that you’ve never had sex before and after a comfortable conversation, you ask him to be your first. He agrees, as long as you don’t catch feelings—even when he already has [ 11.1k ]

Includes virgin female reader; post prison Reid; implied age gap; Spencer’s pov; he’s a consent king; smut: expect a lot + p in v protected sex and so!! many!!! kisses!!!! This is filthy and explicit and sweet and so sexy sexy <3

“I need you to promise me something, okay?” Spencer’s gentle voice pierced through the brief silence of his apartment.

He cupped the back of your knees and helped you adjust on top of him so you could straddle him comfortably.

“Anything.” You smiled with your whole face—an adorable scrunch of your nose and crinkling eyes.

Those damn eyes. There was no tragedy in them.

Licking his lips, Spencer lifted one hand to cradle your face and you immediately leaned on it with affection. The corner of his mouth twitched into a smile; his heart dangerously fluttered.

For the longest time, you’d been the girl next door, the one that moved in during his time away in prison; the one that after his three months and seven days in hell, welcomed him back home with a sweet smile and curious eyes; the one that after one friendly conversation outside his door late at night, offered to look after his pet fish whenever he was away on a case—Shadow was a gift from Penelope so he wouldn’t feel so alone since coming back, especially during his mandatory thirty days off.

Shadow helped, but ever since you started to silently sneak into his life, that genuine light that followed you left no room for his bleak loneliness. Even during the days he didn’t bump into you in the hallway, just hearing your door click brought him comfort, like his body had already grown a radar somewhere deep within him that reacted whenever you were near.

(The only night he didn’t hear that familiar sound messed with him—he’d felt like a creep waiting to listen to your footsteps outside at the usual time and when he didn’t hear your keys until early the next morning, a strange fire settled in him. Nothing bad had happened, you told him all about your fun night with your friends).

Spencer cleared his voice and said, softly, “I need you… not to feel things.”

You replied by tilting your head like a puppy and a subtle knit of your brows.

Jesus, he was a wreck already.

“I mean, of course, you’re gonna feel things” —he closed his eyes to avoid getting more lost in yours—“What I’m saying is—”

“Oh, yeah, I get what you mean.” You then mirrored him, cradling his face with a feather-light touch. “Don’t catch feelings, right?”

“Don’t catch feelings,” he echoed you quietly, opening his eyes again.

What a hypocrite thing to say when his heart was about to flutter out of his chest. It has been like that since you came up with this proposition—since last night’s conversation at the rooftop. He never thought of you that way (not on purpose, anyway), but that didn’t mean he didn’t think you were beautiful in every way, so from the moment the word ‘virgin’ came out of your mouth, you planted a seed that spread like wildfire overnight. His heart has been answering to your presence long before that, though. The first moment his heart lost its rhythm because of you was imprinted on his mind. You’d just come back from the grocery store and bumped into him on his way out. You met halfway on the stairs—him walking down, you walking up—and instead of saying ‘hi, Dr. Reid’ as you usually did, you offered him a bite of the Snickers bar you were eating. It was the simplest gesture, but he wasn’t expecting to see you that morning, and your beauty caught him off guard every time.

“I understand.” You moved your hand higher up and brushed a curl away from his forehead. “I promise. I won’t feel things I—” you sucked in a short breath, “I have feelings for a friend of mine, actually.”

His jaw clenched and he held the thought for a moment without blinking. He tried his best to sound unbothered as he said, “Does he have a girlfriend?” lacing his words with a not-so-genuine intrigue.

You shook your head with a downcast look. “He just likes someone else.”

To think that this person liked someone else dimmed your light briefly. How could anyone like someone else? He shifted on the couch and dragged the hand on your face down to the curve of your neck. Your skin was as smooth as a Lotus petal and he couldn’t wait to find out how every corner of your body would feel under every inch of him.

You perched more toward his right thigh rather than his lap itself, seemingly looking for a better position, and an instant heat radiated from your core through his pants and to his skin. A gentle heartbeat drummed over his muscle, which could only mean one thing: you were already aroused.

And you haven’t even kissed yet.

But you hid it well.

“Can I… think about him while we do it?” You casually asked, tearing your eyes away from him.

His jaw clenched again. It was hard not to assume you wanted to be experienced if the time with him came. Spencer cleared his throat. You could think of him, but he was going to make sure you didn’t.

“Yeah,” he merely replied, purposely bouncing his leg once to feel that lustful heartbeat again.

You met his eyes and changed the subject. “Doesn’t your mandatory leave start today?”

“Yeah, why?”

“So you dress formally even on your days off?” You smoothed down the shoulders of his blazer with both hands.

“I don’t own many casual clothes.”

Besides his pajamas, he only had some workout clothes he hadn’t worn in a while. Plus, he liked the feel of formal clothes better.

“That’s cute, it’s like you’re always ready for something.” You raised your brows and nodded with humor spread all over your pretty face. “It’s hot today, though.” Hence your very short shorts. You reached for the knot of his tie. "Isn’t this too tight?”

“A little”—his nose twitched—“yeah.”

You began to loosen it, your eyes lost in your hand movements while saying, “For the record, I know a lot about sex, I just haven’t had the chance to practice anything.” Your fingers mindlessly grazed his neck and chin until his tie was fully loose hanging from either side of his neck yet he still couldn’t breathe properly.

“You haven’t practiced anything at all?” Spencer gulped and undid the first two buttons of his collar.

Still not enough air.

“I have played with myself,” your brows raised to make your point. “And I satisfy my needs.” You then shrugged. Your mere presence had started a fire inside his pants—from the second he opened the door for you—and now every word that came out of your pretty mouth was fuel. Spencer shifted on his seat once more to ease the tight feeling. “Maybe that’s why I’ve never been in a hurry to do anything with anyone,” you finished saying.

Spencer hummed. You weren’t in a hurry yet wanted to do it with him. Why now? He wanted to ask, but you beat him with a question of your own.

“You’ve done it, right?”

Your demeanor changed. Your tone felt… flirty and was joined by a barely-there smirk.

“Y-yeah I have.” His voice came out slightly high-pitched as he nodded.

“A lot?”

No.

His mouth hung open.

“Sorry.” You shook your head and frowned as if you were taken aback by your own question.

“It’s okay.” He licked his lips but avoided the question anyway. “I, uh, need you to promise me another thing.”

Your eyes flickered down to his mouth, blinking and nodding and licking your lips all at once.

“That this will be a one-time thing,” he dared to say.

There was a micro-expression that took over your brows. He wanted to think it was a disappointment.

“But what if I like it?” You slightly adjusted on top of him. This new movement brought your core closer to his, and his growing erection throbbed. “What if you like it?”

Of course, he was going to like it. He already liked this, having you this close, on top of him, just talking and getting to admire all of you. So he knew the sex with you was going to be unforgettable, but he couldn’t care less about his needs.

This wasn’t about him.

“Then we’ll talk about it,” he replied.

“Okay.” You played with each end of his tie and your brows relaxed again. “So, where do we start?”

Spencer settled his hands on your ribs and asked himself the same thing. He wanted to glue his lips to your neck, and trail kisses up until he kissed you on the mouth.

He licked his lips while staring at yours. “It usually starts with two people kissing each other.”

You did that thing again—smile with your whole face in approval.

“You wanna do that?” He half-smiled.

“For a while, yeah,” you responded, lazily wrapping your arms around his neck and chuckling close to his face, and as small as the sound was, it bathed him whole.

Spencer sighed subtly. “Are you comfortable here on the couch?”

“Mhm.” You nodded then whispered, “I’m a bit nervous, though.”

Spencer scanned your face and took you all in, in case you decided to call this out at some point. It was the one rule he’d already voiced before you even hopped on his lap: if you, at any point, wanted to stop, this ended without a doubt.

Though you seemed very sure about it. Besides your lack of eye contact (which from the moment he met you he knew was a part of you), there was nothing else that told him you weren’t sure about this.

“I’m nervous, too,” he confessed.

“But I do feel very comfortable with you,” you reassured him with your normal tone then went back to whispering, as if all of this was a little secret, “It’s just… first-time things I guess.”

His hands slowly skimmed down to your hips to start getting you used to his braver touch. “You’ve never kissed anyone either?”

“Yes, I have!” You said through the cutest bubbly laugh, turning your face away from him and leaning your cheek on his shoulder. “Not a lot but I’ve made out with people.”

Spencer trailed one hand up and rubbed the small of your back in an attempt to comfort you. His hand fitted perfectly there.

“See, so you have practiced some of it.”

You faced him again and this time ended up much, much closer. “Yeah.” Your fresh breath fanned his lips. You stayed there, close. “Are you still sure about this? I know it was a lot to ask. And bold.”

“It was very bold, yeah,” Spencer tried to be humorous about it yet wished you hadn’t asked. The guilt cascaded over him and he couldn’t help but feel like he was taking advantage of you, even when this was your idea to begin with.

“But are you sure?” You asked again.

The golden glare of sunset casted brighter inside his living room just as you said that, and he took it as a sign. That this was okay.

You locked eyes for five quiet seconds, and all the while, he replied by taking off his blazer, rolled up his sleeves, took off his watch (he figured it could be an uncomfortable feeling on your skin if you decided he could touch you in special places), and leaned with you on top of him to place it on the coffee table—to grab you closer, too.

You ended up nose to nose.

“That was smooth,” you teased, tugging your bottom lip between your teeth.

“Was it?” He smirked—barely—as he leaned back on the couch again, resting his palms on your waist.

“Can we kiss now?” you pleaded in a whisper.

Yeah, Spencer murmured and you didn’t hesitate much to show him well how this wasn’t a first kiss for you. You brushed back his hair with both hands first, angling your face to one side while leaning fully. Your tender lips connected to his with ease and it took him two breathless seconds to respond to it. His left arm remained somewhat wrapped around your waist while his other hand went back up to cup the side of your neck—his already favorite spot on your body.

This was a lot like dancing—not that he’d danced much in his life—but he had no trouble following your rhythm. Slow and patient. You weren’t in a hurry at all, and for once, his mind stopped racing. He focused on every bit of you—from your lips softly molding against his, to your hands on his hair, your fingertips scratching his scalp at a gentle pace, your sweet perfume getting impregnated on his clothes, your heaving chest glued to his and even that was not close enough. You angled your face to the other side and the warmth of your tongue brushed against his own, so naturally he did that too, pulling you down to his level by the nape of your neck so he could kiss you more intensely.

It turned into a wet kiss, his tongue gliding inside your mouth and searching for your own. The sounds your lips together made were exquisite, and he managed to get a small sound from you as a response to his sudden passion. He felt you physically melt all over him and he almost went with you. You pressed down your hips, rubbing yourself against him, and your hands that never let go of his hair now were gripping it tight.

It felt natural, how your bodies seem to know each other’s next move. Your hands mapped the back of his head with care while the hand on your neck dared to trail down to your left breast. He groped it once—a quiet moan from you disappearing into his mouth as a reaction—and continued the path down to your waist.

You withdrew from his lips just enough to say, “You have nice lips,” in a whisper then continued kissing him for a moment before breaking it again. No words came out this time. Just your heavy breathing.

“You okay?” He asked just as agitatedly.

“I think I’m ready.” You breathed out loudly through your nose.

His heart raced faster. “Yeah?”

“I feel ready.” You nodded.

“You mean aroused?” He subtly gulped and you nodded again. “With just a few kisses?”

Spencer pulled back to get a better glimpse of your face and got lost in how his lips left a trace on yours.

“You’re a very good kisser.” You brushed your thumb over his bottom lip.

You’d grown confident and were now seducing him shamelessly which was making him impatient.

“Can I see?” he softened his voice and playfully glided a finger over the waistband of your shorts. “Touch you?”

You replied with a shy nod and propped yourself on your knees at either side of his hips to give him better access. Spencer reached for the trail of buttons of your shorts with shaky hands and undid them one by one, looking up at you to keep eye contact searching for your constant approval. The lust in your eyes was undeniable.

Once your shorts were loose around your hips, he snuck one hand inside from the front. He didn’t want to overwhelm you by touching your bare and sensitive skin right away, so he found the source of heat over the thin fabric of your panties and pressed your clothed cunt.

A timid pleased sound got trapped in your throat. “Am I wet?” You brought your thumb up to your mouth and bit your nail.

“You are.” The patch of arousal leaked to his fingers in an instant. Fuck, he needed more. “Is it okay if I touch you more?”

“Please.”

He swiftly moved your panties to the side and nothing could’ve prepared him for that feeling. That much arousal just by kissing. You were soaked. His brain shut down briefly, his eyes fluttered closed and his jaw clenched. Every cell in his body moved frantically and the flush of his cheeks spread down to his neck and chest. He sucked in a breath and held onto your right thigh to keep you steady while he went for a more proper touch, smearing your arousal everywhere with all four fingers.

Gentle, wet sounds reached his ears and he nuzzled his nose somewhere on your chest, muffling a grunt. His balls drew up tight.

“Do you finger yourself?” He asked right there against your chest and spread your slippery folds open.

“Mh-mm.”

“How many fingers do you use?” He dared to look up at you again and teased your entrance with two fingers, sliding just the tip of his middle finger inside. Your velvety and gummy walls gripped it right away.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. That was tight.

“One.” You breathed out. “Sometimes two. Usually two.”

He slid his finger further up holding your gaze and you sucked in an audible breath as your brows pinched together. He pumped his finger a few times and you tightened around him even more. He would’ve used two fingers but he wanted his cock to stretch you out, not his fingers.

Keeping eye contact, he also kept the pace. The motions were short yet he made sure the rest of his fingers kept stimulating you from the outside. There were more than ten thousand nerves down there he could play with.

You clammed up his finger even more and this time he couldn’t hold back a pleased but low grunt. He shut his eyes again, delighting himself with the feeling and sounds and torturing himself by picturing this very same feeling around his cock. You’d be milking his cock by now.

Your knees weakened and a harsh drop of your body brought you down with all of your weight to his lap again, forcing him to stop all the way.

“You okay?” He asked, sliding his hand out.

“Yeah, I just… I’ve never felt like this.” You breathed out loudly.

“Like what?”

“So damn horny,” you laughed a little.

His lips flickered into a soft smile. “Would you like to go further, then?”

“God, yes.” You captured his lips hungrily and whispered against his mouth, “Please, would you… eat me out? I’ve always wanted that if- if that’s something you’d enjoy, obviously.”

Fuck.

“I’d love to.” Spencer returned the desperate kiss. “Here?”

“Right here.”

Spencer was at your will, so he gave you one last peck before you exchanged positions. You plopped on the couch while he kneeled in front of you and helped you take off your sneakers first, then dragged your shorts and panties down in one fell swoop, not without a bit of hesitation. His ears and cheeks were burning.

You glued your knees together as a reflex and with an assuring look, Spencer spread your legs open. He didn’t look down right away, building his anticipation. Then, he finally did and his mouth started to water. Your arousal was smeared all over and a milky, long drop was leaking out your sex.

You covered your face with your palms. “Don’t look too much. This feels very… gynecologic.”

A small laugh huffed through his nose as he leaned to dot kisses on your inner thighs. Your scent was exquisite and the further up he kissed you, the closer to heaven he was. His lips reached your groin and he planted one more kiss until his mouth hovered over your outer wet lips. He breathed you in—got drunk in your smell—then breathed out through his mouth to tease you looking up; your impatient face prompted him to place an open-mouth kiss right there against your cunt. An immediate gasp came from you as his lips got coated with a thin layer of you. He licked his lips clean to get that very first taste and went for another kiss, this time with his tongue. He hummed right there and you bucked your hips against his face whispering his name along with some mumbling he didn’t quite catch. He was just getting started so he looped both arms around your thighs and dove in nose-deep. Licking and suctioning and slurping everything.

You were too shy to say anything.

Until you weren’t.

God, Spencer

That feels so good.

Right there.

Oh, shit, shit, shit.

You showered him in praise which only made him more eager. Moving his head side to side with his tongue flat over your clit and switching motions in between to a pointy tongue flicking your nub. So all while you were shining with pleasure, he was getting consumed by pain. His cock was straining against his pants begging to be freed and it physically hurt. He let go of one of your thighs and reached for his crotch to release some of the ache, groped the outline of his cock a few times as he licked and nibbled your clit and stretched it out between his lips and gentle teeth, grunting hungrily.

Whiny moans escaped you. They painted every wall of his apartment and right there, with his face buried between your legs, he wished every room would be splattered with that shade. He wanted more; he needed more of that, of you, so he suctioned harder and your entire body jolted with bliss and—

“Wait. Wait!” You gripped his hair and pulled him away from your cunt.

Spencer licked his lips and looked up at you. Your eyes were closed and your face was split with a pleased smile.

“I don’t wanna come yet and—” You breathed harshly through a small laugh. “If you—”

“Want me to stop?” He kissed your inner thigh—sucked on it.

“No,” you exhaled breathlessly. “I mean— I just—”

You needed a break, and since the ache of his cock was somewhat relieved by now, he freed his hand and with his thumb lifted the hood that covered your clit. That precious shiny nub was now fully exposed to him and beautifully swollen, waiting to be taken care of the way it deserved.

He was aware it could be quite sensitive so he went for a soft lick first with a flat tongue.

“Mh,” you bucked your hips and squirmed under him.

He licked again and your hand flew to his head, gripping his hair like you were already used to.

“How’s that?” He asked against your cunt between slurps and messy kisses.

“So good.”

“Should I keep going, then?”

“Mmm, yes.”

That was all he needed. He teased your entrance and delved his tongue in and out a few times before using his finger instead. He grunted shamelessly there. For you. For your experience. Because he needed you to know he wanted to be here, nose-deep in between your legs. He hugged your thighs again with each arm and licked you harder. He looked up, the glimpse he caught of your pleased face might’ve been the most beautiful state he’d ever seen you.

Your breathing grew harsh, and your agitated sounds were loud now. Your legs began to shake.

“Shit Spencer, right there just- keep going.”

Please, please, you politely pleaded.

He hummed in approval and kept going as you’d asked. He licked and sucked and moaned and gripped your thighs harshly guiding you to your orgasm. He felt it. He knew it was coming soon so he didn’t do anything differently. Just lapped his tongue between strong suctions.

You began to grind his face, holding his head still with both hands. Then, desperate sounds bounced around while your legs tensed. Your gummy walls began to spasm around his finger and he finally slid a second one, and your whines increased and—

“Wait! Wait—” You gripped his hair harsher than before and yanked his head away from your cunt.

That grip sent tingles all over him.

“I… I don’t wanna… come yet I…” you trailed off agitatedly. So you liked edging, and he couldn’t help but imagine you, in your room, all alone, torturing yourself not to come. “Just come here,” you said.

He obeyed the best he could given the not-so-comfortable position—you were still with your ass close to the edge of the couch and your legs spread up—and towered over you. His clothed erection lined perfectly against your wet cunt and he bucked his hips once almost as an impulse. You gasped, fluttering your eyes open. Your pupils took over your irises and he was sure his eyes were the same.

“Is this okay?” He asked close to your lips as he gently thrusted his hips again.

“Yeah.” You looked down where your bodies almost met fully and nodded. “I might come like this.”

Your arousal started to leak through his pants the more he stayed there pressed to you, so he did it again, grinding against you and rubbing your clit with the harsh fabric.

You gasped again through a smile.

“That’s okay.” He captured your mouth to now ruthlessly stimulate you. “I want you to come like this. Do you wanna come like this?”

You’d been dragging out your orgasm for a while so, after you nodded in approval, it only took eight seconds to have you trembling again, this time until the very end of your release. A shaky breath came out first, that slowly grew harsh and harsher until you began to shamelessly whine into his mouth. You moaned his name and your breathy voice echoed between your lips and his own as you clung onto him with arms and legs and met each of his thrusts, rubbing yourself against his erection like the desperate little thing you were.

He tenderly shushed your voice that was breaking through your orgasm, to comfort you. That’s it, he encouraged you, and dotted feather-light kisses all over your cheeks until you somewhat were out of it.

“Was it too much?” He asked between more messy kisses.

You didn’t answer but a small and tired groan got caged in your throat.

“Hey, you okay?” He asked again. He needed to hear you speak.

“My mouth is dry,” you managed to reply in a raspy whisper while nodding.

Spencer dared to sneak one hand between your legs and gently grazed your clit and your entire body jerked. You were very sensitive, so he focused on massaging everywhere but there with his entire hand almost to help you ease that feeling. A soft and blissful whine escaped you as you rolled your lips together and closed your eyes. It was helping. He was in an incredible amount of pain again, though. His cock and balls couldn’t be more tight and the way it strained against his pants was torturous. But he would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy this particular pain when your post-orgasm glow was radiating straight through him.

“Do you still need a moment?” He murmured, his lips ghosting yours as he spoke. “It’s okay if you want to stop here.”

“I don’t want this to stop.” You gave him a soft peck. “Ever, but I think I need a moment but… I don’t want you to stop.” You then cupped his face and planted a messy kiss over his top lip. “I want you to fuck me, Spencer. Really fuck me.”

Spencer returned the kiss with the same hunger before finally settling himself in a more comfortable position, kneeling over the carpet and between your now more relaxed but still shaky legs. Your exquisite scent was everywhere on him—lips, chin, hands, and pants.

“We should go to my room,” he suggested, standing up. “We’ll be more comfortable there.”

He helped you get up (smiled to himself when he noticed how your legs wobbled as you stood) and reached for your hand, leading the way to his room. Once the door was locked—a habit—he strongly captured each side of your face with both hands and leaned for a kiss.

“Can I see you now?” You palmed his erection over his pants.

A grunt from him got imprinted on your lips. Your touch was gentle yet woke up the side of him he feared to show you too soon. He guided you to his bed rather hurriedly and you understood with just a glance that you had to sit there, expectant, as he began to undo his belt. Your eyes followed every move his hands did; the clink of metal building your anticipation. You shamelessly bit your bottom lip once he unbuttoned and unzipped his pants for you.

Then he stopped.

To cup your chin and angle your face up so you’d look at him. “You wanna feel it first?” he said just above a whisper. All you did was nod once. “Give me your hand.”

He took a step closer lowering his pants just enough to tug out his still-clothed cock, for you to feel but not see yet. He guided your hand and you immediately skimmed over his erection that he’d adjusted straight to one side. Spencer let go of your chin and let you look down. You gulped and looked up at him again.

Your brows pinched together. “Can I take it out?”

Spencer nodded as he undid all the buttons of his button-down and left it open. A fire blossomed at the pit of his stomach the moment your lips connected to his skin right next to his navel and went low, low, and lower until you were kissing the head of his cock over the underwear. You hooked one finger on the elastic band and dragged his boxers down, freeing his erection at last. It sprung free, your hand immediately went to keep it steady by the base.

“Oh,” you breathed out.

You caressed his trimmed wiry hairs and took a moment to really stare at it. You somehow studied it at first—bright-eyed—as if you wanted to take in all of it. And you did. You gulped and began to trace delicate lines across his length with your fingertips and over every throbbing vein that poked. You glanced up at him through your lashes and rewarded him with a smile, and holding his gaze, you leaned, stuck your tongue out, and traced a long line the underside of his shaft with a flat tongue. His glutes and thighs tensed.

“Is this okay?” You asked.

“It’s perfect.” He brushed the top of your head. You were perfect.

You fisted his length with confidence and pumped it a few times until the skin covering the head was all the way back. You looked up at him again, and wrapped your lips around his leaking, flushed tip. He died a little at that exact moment. Your lips were silky smooth and he didn’t expect the feeling to relax him this much. His heart rate went down, his eyes closed shut and the hand stroking your head stayed there, still. You took more and he looked down, chin pressed to his chest to watch his cock slowly disappear into your pretty mouth.

You hummed, shutting your eyes with pleasure, and wrapped your hand around what you couldn’t fit into your mouth—a little too hard for his liking.

“Gentler,” he said in a harsher tone than intended but balanced it with a soft stroke on your cheek.

You looked up at him with your mouth still barely full and blinked slowly as in ‘understood’, doing as he said—gentler. You caught a good rhythm and began to bob your head, your cheeks hollowing each time you withdrew. Soon, it became a lot for him to handle. Too much pleasure and he was about to explode any minute. Even if you weren’t experienced in this, just the thought of having your lips wrapped around his cock was enough to make him come.

You were getting too eager—moaning and whining right there around his cock—and if the plan was to fuck you, this had to stop right now but god, every new thing you experienced became more beautiful to look at. This time, your eyes closed enjoying the taste and feel of his cock filling your mouth was his favorite view.

He bucked his hips ever so slightly once, then withdrew all the way. Your lips were glistening with spit and he leaned down to cup your jaw and capture your lips with an open mouth kiss. He could taste himself very well.

“Lie down,” he ordered in a whisper.

The hint of a pout took over your lips but you crawled to the other side of the bed without a protest. You’d left a patch of arousal over his duvet right where you were sitting; a beautiful reminder of how aroused you still were.

“Do you feel comfortable over the bed covers?” He asked and began to undress fully.

“Yeah.” Your eyes scanned his body. “Is it okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

He left his underwear for last and the moment he joined you, your eyes skimmed down the length of his now naked body.

“Should I undress completely too?” You asked.

You only had your shirt left. The oversized shirt of your favorite band that looked so good on you; the same shirt he teased you about how you wore it too much; the same shirt you were wearing the very first night he confessed to you about his time away in prison. The first night he allowed you to see through him. He really liked you in that shirt.

He raked his hand over your upper thigh and stopped at the hem of your shirt. “If that’s what you want.”

You hesitated for a moment, lifted it over your head, and immediately braced yourself, lying back.

Spencer smiled.

“What?”

“You’re very pretty.” He trailed his hand higher up and laid his hand flat over your lower stomach.

You brought your thumb up to your mouth and bit your nail to hide a shy smile. “Thank you.” You then relaxed your arms and exposed your breasts to him. Your nipples were hard and perky, and he wanted to tweak them. Bite them. Suck on them.

He traced delicate lines over your stomach. “Is there anything in particular you want to try now?”

Your gaze drifted down his body too and stopped at his cock for a moment before taking his hand and guiding it to your breasts.

“I really like this.” You enveloped the back of his palm and made him grope your right breast.

His cock twitched.

“You do that while touching yourself?” He asked even when he already knew the answer. He’d caught you pinching your nipples over your shirt while he was eating you out just a few moments ago.

“Sometimes.” Your voice came out small. “It feels nice. Both things happening at once.”

Spencer rolled your nipple between his fingers then pinched it gently, stretched it out just to let it go and watch it bounce back into place. Lowering himself, he licked his lips and leaned down closer—close enough to have your breasts at the level of his mouth and just a few centimeters away.

“Will you use your mouth on them too?” You asked in a teasing tone staring down at him.

“Is that what you want?” He raised his brows ever so slightly.

“I think that’s what you want.”

“This isn’t about me.”

“I know but…” You reached for the side of his head and stroked his hair. “I want you to have a good time too.”

“Believe me”—he planted a soft kiss right next to your now softer nipple—“I am.”

You squeezed your thighs together and murmured, “Then do whatever you want with me.”

“Don’t”—he shut his eyes—“say that. Not like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like… you’re giving me permission to use you.” He frowned softly.

“But I am.” Your gaze brightened.

“Don’t.”

“Why?”

Spencer gulped. He didn’t want to take out everything he’d been accumulating on you. It’d been years since he last had sex and if you allowed him to do anything he wanted—

“I don’t want to overwhelm you,” he merely replied.

“Why?” Half a smile tugged at your lips. “Because you’d be rough?”

He shut his eyes again. “No? I—”

“And if I want you to?” You cut him off. “Would you? Be rough?”

“If you want me to I— I… I could. Yes.” You bit your lip and it only drove him more insane. He tried his best not to stammer as he continued, “But let’s take it slowly, okay?”

You leaned for a kiss and murmured, “Okay,” against his lips.

This was just sex, Spencer repeated in his head. Just sex. His heart shouldn’t be doing this. Fluttering because of a kiss. He put every tender thought he felt for you inside a vault inside his mind and kissed the underside of your jaw while tweaking your nipples, then dotted more kisses down to your chest, and the curve of your left breast. He stuck his tongue out with each kiss and the moment he reached your nipple he wrapped it with his mouth. You squirmed under him and made a small pleased sound, something between a hum and moan. It only encouraged him to keep going, so he sucked on it more and scooted closer to you so his cock would touch you. Somewhere. Anywhere. He needed it. The head drifted over your thigh, which was enough for him.

He grunted and sucked on your tit even more while groping the other gently. One of your hands flew to the back of his head and prompted him to dive deeper, nuzzling his nose into your soft flesh and adding soft movements. He kept going for a long while until he decided to let it go with a gentle sound.

“It’s probably going to get bruised. It’s normal by how much I’ve… sucked them.”

“Can you make them even, then?”

Without a second thought, he towered over you and went for the other one, capturing it with confidence. This one felt a bit fuller than the other inside his mouth. He sucked on it and swirled his tongue around your nipple. Nibbled it between gentle teeth. Just like the other, he gave it a lot of attention and spent a good amount of time there until you began to breathe harshly, and your chest heaving in and out allowed him to go even deeper.

Spencer, you cried out his name and he took it as a sign to stop.

“How’s that?” He looked up at you and only then he noticed you’d been touching yourself. “Let me.” He moved your hand aside and continued what you were doing and went back to suck on your tit.

As soon as he touched you there he met a ridiculous amount of arousal. More than before—so much more. He let go of your breast and propped himself over his elbow to get a better glimpse. His breathing hitched. Some of it had started to reach his bedding and your thighs acted as walls between the thick strings of your arousal.

He’d done that. He’d made you this wet—kept you this wet.

“Is it a lot?” You asked.

“It is.” He looked up at you. “Which is good. Means you’re still aroused. Very aroused so… it shouldn’t hurt much when I…”

“When you fuck me?”

“Yeah.”

“Are we doing it now?”

“Do you want to?”

You nodded.

“Do you feel ready?” He asked.

“Yeah. Do you?” You teased him.

“Y-yeah. I, uh, I’ll put on a condom.”

He stretched his arm to reach his nightstand drawer and got the single condom he’d bought this morning (along with a Snickers bar for you for later). Then while sitting down, he tore the foil open—feeling your eyes on him the whole time—and rolled the latex down his length with ease.

“Could you tease me a little more?” You scooted closer to him.

He looked up at you. “Yeah, come here.” He lay on his side and you did the same, closing the gap between your bodies. Burning heat radiated through both of you. “Keep your legs closed,” he softly instructed as he lined his cock right between your thighs and below your cunt to slide it in.

An in-sync gasp filled the space between your lips and his own, and as he began to buck his hips in and out, you started to share the same agitated breath.

You held onto his bicep and met one of his thrusts.

“Is this okay?” He had to ask and slung his arm over your waist in a way where he could still admire your body.

“Mhm.” You pinched your brows together. “Feels so nice.”

“It does.” He gave you a lopsided smile.

Your eyes darted down to his lips and he couldn’t hold back the urge to capture your mouth and kiss you hungrily. You moaned into his mouth, bucking your hips to his rhythm. This felt so damn good, warm, slippery. He forced himself to think of anything else, but with the beautiful sounds you kept making, it was hard to let his mind go elsewhere and his thrusts soon turned sloppy.

He grunted against your mouth. “If I keep going, I might—”

“Then stop.” You cut him off and hastily rolled on top of him. “I wanna feel you inside me.”

“Y-you want to be on top?” He held onto your hips.

“Yeah.”

You sat upright and pressed his cock against his stomach with your cunt. Your folds wrapped the underside of his length perfectly and began to slide back and forth a few times, coating the latex with your juices. He threw his head back in pleasure for a second before delighting himself with the sight again. Your hips had an adorable clumsy rhythm and both of your hands pressed flat against his chest for support. He was sure your palms were receiving every frantic beat of his heart but you were so immersed into this new position you probably couldn’t care.

You collapsed over his chest after a few more strokes.

“Lift your hips for me, sweetheart.” His lips brushed the shell of your ear as he spoke.

You lazily obeyed, freeing his cock and from behind you, he reached for it and lined up the head at your entrance. Just as his mouth was next to your ear, yours was next to his, and the soft whine you let out as he pushed the head in sent him to another dimension. He groaned right there in your ear, too.

“If at any point you want to stop just tell me and we’ll stop, okay?” He somehow managed to say, his cock sliding in just a bit more.

“I don’t think I’ll ever want to stop.” You pulled back enough to be nose to nose. “The way you talk to me. God, the way you look at me,” you whispered against his lips.

“I’m right here,” he murmured back and captured your lips into a wet and open-mouth kiss.

You bucked your hips down and took more of him. It was the perfect tightness, where it didn’t feel forceful but still was a warm and strong grip.

“How’s that feel?” He asked immediately.

“I need more but-” You lowered your hips more, taking another torturous inch. “Sh-shit. I feel so full already. What if it doesn’t fit?”

“It will. We’ll make it fit. Don’t worry.” He reached for his cock again to feel how much you were taking. It was barely in. “A bit more, sweet girl, I’ve got you.”

You blinked tiredly and adjusted your upper body more to his left side, bucking your hips down silently.

Then a lot more.

“Th-there, there,” he muttered while you muffled a whine into the crook of his neck. He planted a lazy kiss on your temple. “That’s good, so good.” Spencer groaned. “Fuck, you feel incredible.”

“I do?”

“Like heaven.”

You laughed a little and languidly sat upright supporting yourself with both hands over his chest and taking what was left of him at last.

Wiping the sweaty pieces of his hair away from his forehead, he stared down where your bodies met. His cock was fully gone inside you.

“You don’t have to move right away if you don’t want to.” He looked up at you.

God, you looked angelic there on top of him, sitting still for a moment with your eyes closed and breathing in through your nose in apparent deep thought.

“Can you… move? Under me?” You winced.

“Yeah, come here,” he opened up his arms and gestured for you to lay on his chest again. You lowered yourself and rested both elbows on either side of his head. Your breasts ended up at the level of his chin. “You’re gonna have to lift your hips for me. Can you do that?”

You indulged without a sound. Fuck. Your grip turned even tighter.

“Like that?” You asked.

“Exactly like that.” Spencer’s face quivered with pleasure. “I’m gonna start moving now, okay?”

“Mhm.” You nodded.

He cupped your ass with both hands to keep your hips still and spread your cheeks open just a bit. He thrusted his hips gently, too gentle to drill his cock all the way inside you again, so he thrusted once more and managed to get a small sound from you as a response.

“You okay?” He had to ask mid-thrust.

“Yeah.” You collapsed on top of him and found comfort on his torso, keeping your ass up. “Feels good.”

Every subtle movement stretched you and feeling how your cunt was gradually getting used to his cock prompted him to go for another thrust. A deeper one. He wrapped his arms around your waist and brought you close into a tight hug.

“I’m gonna move a lot more now.” He angled his face up searching for your lips. You had a soft mist of sweat above your top lip that he gladly kissed away. “Hold onto me.” His lips brushed your own as he spoke. “I’ve got you.”

I’ve got you, he repeated before taking full control.

It was sloppy at first. Messy thrusts with tense thighs that barely allowed his cock in but he felt you stretching. Really stretching. He held back every moan but that didn’t mean he was silent. He breathed harshly, panted against your lips and soon you were breathing the same desperate air.

Right then, as he fucked you, he discovered something new about you: during sex, you were strong on eye contact. A subtle knit of brows and your smile—god that smile—he wondered what you were thinking. He needed to know what you were thinking, but for now, that smile and gentle pleased sounds that escaped through it was enough for him. He captured each of them with a never-ending kiss until a strong tension began to build at the base of his cock and he knew it was already time to shift positions.

Or was it too soon?

“My thighs are getting tired,” You said through a small laugh as if you’d read his mind.

“That’s okay,” he was quick to stop his thrusts and trailed his hands up to your waist. “Do you want to lay on your back?”

“Yeah, I wanna feel you on top of me.”

Without another thought, Spencer settled between your legs in a few swift movements, always careful not to support his weight too hard on any part of your body, and in the process, he deliberately let his cock slip out. Being inside you was all-consuming and he needed to recover some of his clarity. To remind himself that this was temporary.

His gaze darted down to your body. A thin sheen of sweat spreaded over the skin under your eyes, chin, and across your chest. It gave you a romantic type of beauty.

“Please?” you muttered tiredly.

“What is it?”

“Need you now.” You spoke in a whiny tone and reached for his cock.

He let you, and you used him to tease yourself. He stuck the tip of his tongue out of the corner of his mouth trying to hide a smile and smeared your entrance a few times before pushing the head in. His mind went hazy in an instant all while a rush of pleasure weakened his limbs. He almost crumbled on top of you but he was quick to support his weight on his hands.

“Oh, fuck,” he breathed out.

Your hands reached for his flexed biceps, groped them, and with a gentle thrust you took more of him with much more ease. Your chest rose and fell when releasing a pleased sigh then you braced yourself, cupping your breasts and rubbing your nipples with your thumbs.

“More?” He asked.

“Mh. All of it.”

He gained back some of his strength and leaned slightly up to hold onto your slightly bent knees and buck his hips. His erection slid in with less friction in the way and once it was halfway in, he towered over you again, pressing his forehead against yours and pushing the rest of him inside you with a subtle roll of his hips.

He captured your lips at the same time he started to move with languid thrusts, almost massaging you rather than fucking you. Each time he felt how he stretched you, how your body got used to his size.

His forehead landed on yours.

“Oh, Spencer that feels—” your voice faded.

“Tell me.” His breath ghosted your lips. Your Foreheads, noses, and lips brushed together with each gentle thrust.

“Feels so good.” Your hands found their place on his body, one at the nape of his neck while the other stroked his back.

“I’m gonna move a lot more now.” He stole a quick kiss. “And I won’t stop. U-unless—”

“Spencer��”

He withdrew his hips and slammed into you once. A loud clash of skin against skin blared around.

You let out a startled gasp through a smile.

“Was that okay?” His lips never stopped brushing your own.

“Yeah,” you laughed a little. “Yeah, keep going.”

So he did it again, and again and again, until you were nothing but a beautiful whiny mess under him. He was really fucking you now and his bedroom became the only witness of the symphony of sounds your bodies created together: The clash of his thighs slamming against the back of yours, the constant wet kisses, his low groans blending with your sweet moans… God, he was enjoying this too much. He had to force his mind to go elsewhere but the occasional bolts of pleasure reminded him where he was.

Too close to heaven.

Your tits bounced under him every time he plunged into you and he’d feel your fingernails scraping his back every now and then. He wouldn’t mind having some scratches as a reminder of how deep he’d been inside you.

How deep he still was.

This wasn’t nowhere near ending and Spencer was already craving this. You. This bone-deep connection. He missed you. Right now, while he still was fucking you and making you moan his name, he was looking back to this moment.

He missed you so much already.

You brought him back to the present by kissing him without a sound then mumbled something he didn’t quite catch.

“What was that?” He panted, slowing his pace just a bit to hear you better.

“That— that’s so deep,” you managed to reply.

“Need me to stop?”

“Mm, no,” you met one of his thrusts.

Another silent yet wet kiss got in the way.

“Can you take it harder, then?” Spencer spoke in the middle of it.

“Yeah.” You kissed him again. “Yeah, I can.”

He returned the sloppy kiss and drilled into you with more force. His bed creaked and the mattress dipped like never before.

“Yeah?” He kissed the underside of your chin and nuzzled his face on your neck.

Slam.

“Y-yeah.” A moan broke through your chest before you clung onto him with arms and legs.

From there, it became desperate. He became desperate, to have you closer even when he physically couldn’t anymore, desperate to kiss you at all times, to touch you, to tell you how beautiful you looked and sounded. And you became desperate, for his cock, meeting every single one of his thrusts.

“Kiss me,” you muttered agitatedly. “I like it when you kiss me.”

Fuck.

Spencer unglued his face from the crook of your neck, searching for your lips. He swallowed every single sound you made and allowed himself to be even more rough. He wasn’t planning to but the way you blissfully responded to his more coarse version—cursing against your lips every now and then because, fuck, you felt good—was enough reason to simply let himself be.

At some point, he slowed his pace and took a moment to check on your facial expression. You’d reached a state where you seemed… lost, somewhere in your mind and your words came out slurred.

“You okay?” He asked in your ear, going from frantic hips to stillness in one second.

“Mhm,” you nodded eagerly, “yeah, sorry, I- I’m more than okay I feel… drunk in sex this is just so- I don’t know how to describe it, but” —you let out a breathy laugh— “I’m loving it. I can’t believe what I’ve been missing.” Your eyes had a glimmer that wasn’t there before. “With you.”

Spencer gulped and disguised it with a loud sniff. His sweat was everywhere.

He began to move again, tenderly, and your mouth parted in pleasure while your drunk-in-sex face returned.

“Oh, Spencer I-” Your eyes fluttered shut.

“What,” He caressed your cheek with the tip of his nose, “tell me.”

“It feels so good I— you feel so good, your cock feels so good.”

“Yeah?” He rolled his hips again.

A tiny laugh came as a very positive response, pulling a soft chuckle from him on his way to kiss you on your lips again.

“Is sex supposed to last this long?” You panted.

Oh.

“You want me to finish?”

Because he could. Small drops of cum had been dripping out of his tip for some time now, so if he wanted to he could come at any point. If you wanted him to.

“No?” you shook your head. “I love it here, but if you’re tired and want to come—”

“Not tired,” he quickly said.

He loved it here too, but he had to admit, his cock was getting too sensitive.

His thrusts picked up a rhythm again, not as ruthless as before but still reached you very deep. The spongy texture of your cunt molded around every curve and throbbing vein of his cock too perfectly and now since you’d subtly told him it was alright to finish, he didn’t hold himself back much.

“Wanna feel it?” He said in your ear.

“Mm?”

“When I finish. Do you wanna feel that?”

“H-how?”

“Wrap your hand around me. By the base.” He withdrew his hips enough for your hand to fit around it.

“Now?”

“Now.”

You obeyed, sneaking your hand between your bodies, and did as he’d instructed, wrapping your hand around the base of his cock the best you could.

“That’s… so wet,” you sort of laughed.

“That’s all you, sweetheart.”

All you, he repeated as the rest of him kept slipping in and out of you. You gripped his cock tighter, even stroked him at the rhythm of his hips, and gradually, the pleasure started to build to that point where there was no going back from it so he decided to chase it. His thrusts became uneven and even more desperate while everything turned hazy, every muscle tensed and a rush of ecstasy took over him. His head landed over your shoulder, his heartbeat drummed fast in his ears but he was aware he was grunting loudly in release against your skin. His teeth grazed your skin when you tightened your cunt around him as his cock kept twitching with every spurt he spilled inside the condom and for a quiet moment, Spencer thought he might’ve died. Or at least, leaped into another dimension where he was nothing but dumbstruck.

Then, the part he feared the most came. The clarity. The afterthought. He feared this, wanting to find you in every lifetime while being at the peak of vulnerability.

You’d pulled him into your loving embrace and his face was now buried in your neck. He was so cozy there but he had to move before the sleepiness was too much. He peeled himself away and dared to look at you.

“Hi.” You cupped his face and brushed his sweaty brows with your thumbs, bright-eyed.

He huffed out a small laugh. “Hi.”

“You okay?” You slightly frowned with concern.

“Yeah,” he nodded.

A teardrop was dripping from the corner of your left eye—or it might’ve been sweat. You dragged your thumbs down to his cheeks and pecked his lips lazily. He returned it and then dotted many more. Slow, casual kisses—eight to be exact—all while still being inside you.

“Talk to me,” he whispered.

Hot, he thought he heard you say.

“What was that?” He brushed a drop of sweat from your forehead with his thumb.

“It’s… hot here. I feel hot. A little… suffocating?”

“Want me to open the window?”

You nodded. “Some fresh air would be nice.”

He kissed your temple, caressed you with the tip of his nose, and subtly inhaled you as he already knew it was going to be the last time he’d be this close to you.

“I’m gonna slip out, okay?” he said while pumping slowly a few times. He hissed between clenched teeth.

“Can we keep going?” You whined and met one of his gentle thrusts. He leaned down to kiss you once more and thrusted again to torture himself, almost. “Like that, yeah, please?”

“I would love to,” he began, then continued between more soft kisses, “but believe it or not, this is physically uncomfortable to me. It’s… very sensitive and I need a moment to… recover before going again.”

“Okay,” you softly replied.

He sighed deeply, bumping the tip of your nose with his own, mourning this moment, then slipped out for good, plopping on his back next to you. His hand lifted to caress your cheek with a mind of its own. He’d grown a need to be constantly touching you and the worst part was that you didn’t seem to think much of it. You leaned to his touch with affection and enveloped his wrist with your palm to keep him there, close to you.

“I- we need to get cleaned,” he said.

“Yeah, I’m so incredibly wet down there.”

“Would you like to shower?” He asked.

“I… I can shower at my place, don’t worry.”

“Oh, okay.”

You rolled to your side, bending one leg higher up and said, with your eyes closed, “It’s not that I don’t want to, I just… I have all of my stuff there and… I like my shower.”

He brushed your cheek one last time. “That’s okay.”

He then finally stood up, was in and out of his bathroom to discard the condom and get you some water wipes, helped you get cleaned up and didn’t bother to get dressed to languidly open the window.

The fresh summer evening flowed in around, taking away the warmth your bodies had created together, and right there from the window, he glanced at you.

The most beautiful creature that’s ever laid on his bed.

“Come back here,” you called and his heart fluttered.

He dragged himself back to bed and turned his bedside lamp to admire you better. You’d chosen to lay on your stomach, facing him.

“How are you feeling?” His hands found their way to your body again, this time his knuckles casually stroking your upper arm.

“Like I ran a marathon and you did all the work.” Your blinking slowed down. “How long have we been here?”

“Over an hour.” He kept stroking your arm. “Close to two, actually.”

You hummed and kept your eyes closed for as long as he kept caressing you, in silence. There was nothing casual about this.

“Are you sore?” He broke the brief silence.

“Should I be sore?” You squinted one eye open, quirking your brow.

“Maybe not yet.”

“But I’m gonna be?”

“Most likely.”

You smiled. “Can’t wait.”

He huffed out a small laugh. He was probably going to feel a bit sore in some places, too, considering he hadn’t worked out recently and this was the closest to some cardio he’d done in a while.

“You must be hungry.” From his drawer, he took the Snickers bar he’d bought and saved for this exact moment and opened the packaging for you.

Your face lit up and said, mid-bite, “Oh, I think I just had another orgasm.”

You chewed on it while offering him a bite. He had to admit, he wasn’t a fan of it (mostly because of the way it stuck to his teeth) but accepted it anyway because what if he never had a moment like this ever again?

“This is nice,” you said.

“The Snickers?”

You stared at him, taking another bite. “All of it.”

“Did you feel comfortable?” He asked a little self-consciously.

Your gaze softened. “Yeah.” You scooted even closer and caressed the back of his hand with your knuckles. “Yeah, I… it was perfect. More than perfect.”

Spencer rolled on his side and mindlessly began to scratch your back.

“Are you okay?” You asked him after a moment.

“I am. I was just worried.”

“Throughout the whole thing?” You quirked a brow.

“No?” He laughed a little. “Not when I could, uh, tell you were having a good time.” Heat rushed quickly to his face but you didn’t seem to notice.

“I had a great time.” You did that thing he adored so much. When you smiled your entire face knew about it. Your eyes and nose crinkling. Though it quickly faded into a soft frown when you added, “And I know it was my first time but I could assume I put some pressure on you.”

“A little.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be. I had a great time, too.”

“Yeah, I could tell, too.”

More heat rushed to his face and this time he couldn’t hide it. “I, uh, I’m gonna bring you some water.” He stood from your side.

“Can I have a cup of tea?”

“Tea?”

“Is it bad after sex?”

Spencer frowned his lips. “Not necessarily, but you need to hydrate. You shouldn’t replace water with tea.”

“Can I have both, then?” You smiled.

“Water and a cup of tea right up.” He gave you a lazy thumbs-up.

Throwing on a T-shirt and his pajama pants, Spencer headed to the kitchen. He stopped by the living room on his way and picked up your clothes from the carpet. Longing tugged on his chest, the very vivid memories of what had happened on his couch playing in his head like a movie. He liked having your clothes scattered in his living room.

“Can I have those back?” Your voice came from behind him.

“Oh, hey,” Spencer turned on his heels. You’d put your band shirt back on. “I was gonna bring them to you.”

“It’s okay.” You approached him barefoot and took your panties and shorts from his hands. “I- I think I should go. I don’t wanna seem ungrateful because I really enjoyed it and I’m so glad I did this”—you gulped—“with you. Specifically with you.”

“No, yeah, of course.” Spencer tried his best to sound understanding but his longing for you soon turned into sadness. You were already leaving.

You gave him a tight-lipped smile and finished getting dressed right there in front of him. You then picked up your sneakers and walked barefoot to Shadow.

“Bye, angel,” you said with the soft tone you used when talking to her only, gluing your nose to the tank and Shadow swam to you right away. You and Shadow had a special bond Spencer often was jealous of. Not because of you, but because he wished—even after this afternoon's events—he could be a fish and tenderly bump noses with you through a glass. “Do you think she saw everything we did over there?” You gestured at the couch as you made your way to the door.

“Probably.” He followed you. “But they don’t think like us. It’s not… perverse.”

You reached for the doorknob and held onto it for a second before stepping one foot out his apartment. “Thank you, again.” You looked up at him and smiled with your eyes. Only then he noticed the mark he had left on your neck. “I really enjoyed it.”

Spencer’s nose twitched. “Of course, yeah I— I enjoyed it too. Thank you, for trusting me.” He gestured at you with a lazy hand.

You lingered by the door, looking up at him with some sort of anticipation. “You said we’ll talk about it if we both liked it, so I guess this is the moment.” You gulped. “We could do this, right?” You finally asked. “Have sex. No strings attached?”

His mouth hung open. “Uh-”

“Would you be willing to show me more?” You walked inside again and dropped your sneakers. “Teach me?”

“I–” Spencer shut the door and looked around his apartment as if he was searching for his answer. “I’m not as experienced as you think I am.” He tried to dodge your proposition.

If this didn’t end here, it was going to at some point in the future and if that happened, a heartbreak would eventually come.

“Well, you felt very experienced.” He did? “But I don’t know,” you took a step closer. “We could learn together?” Then another step. “If you think you can’t teach me or show me more than what you already have.”

This was bad, because how could he reject that?

Spencer paused for a moment before giving in and slowly closed the gap between you two. You subtly tugged your bottom lip between your teeth.

“I guess, we could do that, yeah,” his voice came out slightly high-pitched.

Just as his hand raised to stroke your cheek, you clutched his shirt by the waist.

“What if one of us catches feelings?” You immediately showed some hesitation.

Leaning down, Spencer confidently whispered against your lips, “Then it’s game over.”

Even when he knew damn well he’d lost the game before it even started.

HEHEHE 👹 What do you guys think? decided to go back to my roots and write a virgin reader but this time with my most recent love, Spencer. Got inspired by @imagining-in-the-margins monthly challenge ‘friends with benefits’ 🩷 I really like writing smut in the guy’s pov and I wanted to give it a try with Spencer😇

Anywayyyyy thank you so much for reading! If you liked it please don’t be scared to show me some love and to let me know. With a comment, or an ask bc they make me very happy and because I need validation to live, I fear. Or just reblog, but I’d love to read your thoughts on it <3

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