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An evening in the Mun-tuy Cellars~

(ft @loldragoon-ffxiv)

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the other thing I find very funny about trying to write a canon compliant wol is taking all the wolship hints extremely seriously.

I don't really wolship because I'm just fundamentally not that kind of fan. But I know for those who are, the sheer number of romance hints FFXIV throws at you can be overwhelming to parse in a context where you have a preferred/intended wolship, particularly if you're not attracted to the gender the hints are coming from in the first place (a particular tip of the hat to wlw fans navigating the g'raha of it all). I've seen plenty of people write around them or write them out or be like "no aymeric was for real inviting my wol to a nice platonic zero-subtext dinner," and God bless all of you.

But it's really funny to imagine them all as all-too-real but unreciprocated or perhaps unreciprocatable. The sheer scale of it is comedy. Spoilers for all of FFXIV follow.

Oh God, the Lord Speaker wants to have dinner, just the two of us, at his family estate and not a government building. I hope he doesn't bring up his crush on me. Thal's balls he's about to bring it up—oh thank God there's an emergency. Oh no someone got hurt! Oh no it's the teenage girl with a crush on me.

Your life is a cosmic joke. You watch the Sultana get poisoned and all your friends probably die to save your life and it's kind of all your fault in some ways, I mean at the very least you should've spoken up when they gave the teenager a private army, and then the teenage boy speaks up and is like, "hey, I guess we have at least one ally. What about if we go visit that guy who is really obviously down unbelievably bad for you and wants to lick the sweat off of you." and you have to be like, yeah, Alphinaud. Great idea. Let's do it. I'll call him.

(brief interlude: also haurchefant's DEATH hits so good if you don't reciprocate. It's okay. He gets it. You're going through a lot and even if you had time to sort through your feelings maybe you're just not into him. That would be okay! You can love someone, or the idea of someone, without needing it to be romantically reciprocated. That's chivalric, even. Knightly. So he won't ask you to lie to him and say you love him as he lies dying in your arms. He's not so low as all that. But could you smile for him as you used to? That true hero's smile of yours. And you do, and he dies. And you both know he died for a lie, in a way, or a flight of fancy. And he's okay with that. Are you? Should you be? Should he?)

Then you're into Stormblood and it's like wow, okay. That last part was all high fantasy, of course there were loyal knights and elegant princes. But this is war. Imperialism. Grim business, surely there's no way—oh no BOTH handsome young revolutionary leaders seem to have a special interest in you?! And so does the Crown Prince of the Empire? Come on, man. I should get to do the whole horrors of war thing without having to also deal with this. Gaius sucked and it was weird that he let his foster daughter run around being openly obsessed with him but at least he never made it my problem.

You can't even get away from it across dimensions. Shadowbringers is a horror story about going on a teambuilding camping trip with your work colleagues for some reason except they all suddenly got really hot and they keep touching you affectionately on the shoulder and being like "I care for you and your happiness. Truly." And also you're being stalked for the whole camping trip by two old men who are obsessed with you. The false climax of the story is that the one old man tries to betray you and give a dramatic monologue about how he loves you but the two of you are doomed by the narrative and then the other old man shoots him in the back like "no actually its MY turn to betray them and give a dramatic monologue about how our love is doomed by the narrative." Then the real climax is old man #1 backstabbing old man #2 in the middle of said monologue before old man #2 dies and gives ANOTHER wistful monologue about his doomed love. Then for the patches they're like okay so we have this even CRAZIER old man who's gonna strike when you're weak and give a dramatic monolo—

and that's without even getting into the literal soulmate ghost only you can see

my warrior of light never felt more betrayed than in that scene where Y'shtola is like "haha Alisaie and G'raha have crushes on the warrior of light." Like I thought we were COOL, Y'shtola! I work here! This situation is already in such a delicate balance! Right when I got here I met Alisaie's "friend from work" who was like oh haha so YOU'RE the one she can't stop talking about and we never followed up on that because the woman died horrifically like five minutes later right in front of us! Then when Vauthry got away and we had to do all that shit with the dwarves, G'raha kept pausing every ten minutes to be like oooooh I'm so old I'm gonna die soon...at least I got to spend some time with some people who are really important to me...in fact here's what I'd tell the person who's most important to me...actually u know them really well haha. And I just had to sit there and be like wow, dude, crazy.

even in the face of apocalypse you still gotta go back in time like 12,000 years and there's somewhere there who makes you sit and listen to his story which is that the purpose of his whole godlike immortal life was to be in a throuple with you and old man #2 from the camping trip. and you just gotta sit there the whole time knowing you/your past life is the one who broke up the throuple over politics. He's like come help me harangue the old man into streaking in public, he'll do it if you ask.

then you meet and fight and kill God and you gotta turn to the team and be like hey sorry guys can you give me a sec. I'm gonna call God by her real name because we met one time for like four days and after that the promise of meeting me again was one of the things that sustained her through her millennia of suffering. Not like that but like. Idk. Just gimme a sec!

It's a relief when you finally get to Lahabrea and he's like actually I still don't fuck with your vibe. Like thank GOD.

And my WoL is very obviously dad-shaped so Dawntrail had a very specific energy for me but I understand that for plenty of people your deepening rapport with Wuk Lamat had a romantic subtext (same for Koana depending on how you read a few of his lines). And personally I think it's the height of comedy to be like, noooo, babe, your highness, I know you and your brother the king are in love with me and want me to stick around and support you emotionally through this governmental transition haha. But it's just...the cursed wineglass, babe. I GOTTA go figure out what's up with this cursed wineglass.

It's a running gag in some of the more optional content that people are like "you have an unreasonable number of hobbies and side gigs" to the WoL from time to time. But if every time you tried picking up a new hobby some new elf started baring their soul to you, you too would be like Hey Jessie (or sometimes Krile or Tataru), my good friend who is one of the only people in my life who knows what professional ethics and work-life boundaries are, any chance you need muscle on a gig on the other side of the world? Ideally with only Cid and his ex so all libidinal energy in the room is directed towards machinery or someone who isn't me?

ironically one of the only places you get a break from psychosexual obsession is the nier content

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They're finally in game now, so maybe you'll see new faces one tavern night?~

(ft @loldragoon-ffxiv )

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Just under an hour!

Join us for a spooktacular evening at the Cracked Cluster!

We'll be offering our fall menu of goodies for you to sample, plus free candies to enjoy throughout the evening! Plus, if you come in costume, you'll get a prize — a nice delicious mug of cocoa housing item to enjoy or display in your home!

When: Sunday, October 20th, 7-10 PM EST

Where: ICly located in Revenant's Toll, Mor Dhona

OOC Info: NA - Crystal - Mateus - Lavender Beds - Ward 19 - 57

For Menu and More, Click Here!

We hope to see you there!

@mooglemeet @ffxivrp @balmungrpcalendar

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✨your favorite adventurer's favorite adventurer ✨

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We open in an hour!

It's time for some fall fun at the Cracked Cluster!

Join us on Sunday, Sept 29, 2024 from 7 - 10 PM EST! We're featuring a variety of fall-themed menu items including a lovely new tea! The fire is cozy, we've lots of fall flowers, and there's even a hot spring outside to enjoy in the chilly weather!

When: Sunday, Sept 29, 2024, 7-10 PM EST

Where: ICly located in Revenant's Toll, Mor Dhona

OOC: Crystal - Mateus - Lavender Beds - Ward 19 -57

Menu and more info here!

We hope to see you there~

@mooglemeet @ffxivrp @balmungrpcalendar

[loldragoon-ffxiv]

It's time for some fall fun at the Cracked Cluster!

Join us on Sunday, Sept 29, 2024 from 7 - 10 PM EST! We're featuring a variety of fall-themed menu items including a lovely new tea! The fire is cozy, we've lots of fall flowers, and there's even a hot spring outside to enjoy in the chilly weather!

When: Sunday, Sept 29, 2024, 7-10 PM EST

Where: ICly located in Revenant's Toll, Mor Dhona

OOC: Crystal - Mateus - Lavender Beds - Ward 19 -57

Menu and more info here!

We hope to see you there~

@mooglemeet @ffxivrp @balmungrpcalendar

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Their anniversary isn't until Sunday but I couldn't resist making the photoset today. :)

ft. @loldragoon-ffxiv

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Posing practice with the bard boys. Bonus shots under the cut?

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"Something seems off..."

Came across him again while catching up on MSQ with Fennie so I had to screenshot for the giggles. @loldragoon-ffxiv

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Pancake Vacations

“Another pancake please, Daddy!” Chrys grinned as Feldspar piled another large one onto the tower already on Chrys’ plate, her eyes going wide as she watched it wobble precariously on top. Giggling, she reached for the syrup, adding another dollop. “Me too, Daddy!” Not wanting to be outdone by his sister, Chal giggled as Feldspar obliged, setting another atop his. He grabbed his fork, digging in.

Fennie sat back in his chair, tea in his hands as he watched both children enjoy their breakfast. They seemed in much better spirits this morning, and for that he silently thanked each one of the Twelve. The day before had been haunting — Chrys’ screams as she was attacked by the giant snipper still ringing through his mind. The terrified look on her face as he and Feldspar and the carbuncles had swooped in. The cuts and bruises that had mottled her skin. 

Fennie hadn’t thought in the moment, acting only on instinct as he hurled spell after spell at the snipper, uncaring as it dropped the fight and attempted to get away. He hit it over and over, each carbuncle flanking it, until it was no more than a charred carapice heaped onto the cave floor.

And then he’d panicked — rushing to his daughter’s side, Feldspar having already scooped her into his arms with Chal — listening to her terrified sobs as he did his best to heal her hurts.

She’d finally fallen asleep once they’d gotten her back to the cabin and cleaned her up, curled up between her brother and both carbuncles now keeping guard, and Fennie had finally let himself feel the emotions he’d held in during the fight.

He didn’t want to think about it — how close they’d been to losing her, on the childrens’ nameday vacation. Didn’t want to think about the fact that looking away for only a few minutes had been enough time for her to wander off and get into trouble. Didn’t want to think about what may have been had they not arrived soon enough — Fennie choked back the sob trying to claw its way back up his throat, choosing to focus on the happiness instead.

Chrys was here, enjoying her pancakes, hale and whole, and it seemed not worse for wear. She’d woken up her cheery self, demanding nameday pancakes for dinner the night before, and again for breakfast, something both boys had immediately obliged. And she was laughing and giggling with her brother, already planning another sandcastle to be built on the beach in front of their cabin. A happy end to their vacation, and one Fennie hoped would be what stuck in her memories instead.

“Pancakes for you, ser?~” Feldspar pulled Fennie from his thoughts with a smile — only wavering when he saw the faraway look in Fennie’s eyes and knew exactly what Fennie had been thinking. He simply smiled in return, picking up his plate for Feldspar to pile the pancakes on.

“Two, please.”

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This request was sent to us and we made a poll in response to it. Send the situation (in which you want to see a Blorbo) to our inbox and we’ll make a poll for you where people can vote if they think their Blorbos would survive said situation.

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Centurii chan

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~Happy Moonfire Faire from (most of) our characters!~

ft @loldragoon-ffxiv

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heyy can we do a sexy roleplay where im a prince from a fallen kingdom and youre the powerful warrior who has taken me for their own pleasure. yes? yipeeee ok so before we start first here's a google doc with the whole history of the fictional land we're both from and the intricate geopolitical workings of the- oh yeah and here's a supplementary doc on the agriculture and trade routes of said fictional land and stuff and yes this is important. the dirty talk has to be lore accurate

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They call it final fantasy because the north america analogue has a robust and expanding railroad system