loka--brenna

[loka--brenna]

[loka--brenna]

Ever since the tarot reading I had a few days ago, I’ve had weird/bad dreams every night.

First, I had a dream about buying a spider (a big tarantula), which is something I would never do. I was bringing it back from the pet store and it escaped and got loose in my van. I panic-woke up because I hate spiders.

The next night, I had a dream about an ex-friend who traumatized me and my best friend (she was dating my best friend). It was a cosplay dream, since we met through cosplaying. I woke up super pissed off.

Last night, I had a dream about my dog that we had to put down kind of recently and woke up feeling really sad.

I don’t know if this is true or not, but I’m wondering if Loki slammed me with emotional dreams after the tarot readings as a way to prove that he was really around? I had heard that lots of Pagans got weird dreams from Loki, so maybe he was trying to say something to me through my dreams? Idk

[loka--brenna]

How It All Started

I guess if I’m using this blog as a sort of diary, I should document what’s happened so far. That makes it sound too professional lol I’ll just...do my thing:

Bas was talking to me about religion (because I had recently off-handedly mentioned that I wasn’t Christian anymore) and he told me he was going to try Paganism. We talked about it for a long time and I said I would be willing to try it because I liked the openness and freedom of it. He mentioned in this conversation that he was kind of feeling the presence of Loki (and he still works with him now).

The day after that talk, I was sitting there just listening to music and working on something when this song came on that gave me INTENSE Loki vibes. Normally, I would hear a song and think of a character (for cosplay/CMV reasons), so it was weird to me that I thought SPECIFICALLY about Norse Loki, not MCU Loki. The song hit me super hard with emotions and made me incredibly hurt and sad (it was a sad song), especially when relating it to Loki.

I told Bas about it and he told me to keep an eye out for Loki. I (kind of) jokingly said, “Well he’ll need to send me an obvious sign because I’m a DENSE BITCH.” The following morning, the first thing my grandma said to me was telling me that there was a snake just chilling out in the garden.

I was like “huh okay that’s weird but not a sign, right?” I’m very skeptical by nature and it takes a lot for me to believe in things. Days and weeks went by and I just couldn’t stop thinking about Loki, but nothing big really happened.

My friend group ended up going to Bristol Ren Faire and basically as soon as we got there, this woman came up to ask if we needed help finding anything and was telling us about RenQuest because she was working in it that year. She told us that that year’s theme was Greek Gods and Norse Mythology. I LOST MY SHIT and looked at Bas (who was also, more calmly, losing his shit). It was extra weird because you normally don’t find those religions out together and Bas was looking into working with Apollo while I had been thinking about Loki.

By this point, this was way too many coincidences for me to just ignore, but I still didn’t do anything about it because I was afraid (afraid of doing something wrong and offending Loki, afraid of not knowing what to do or how to do it, afraid of not getting an answer, etc). A while later (just a few days ago), I hung out with Bas and another friend to do some tarot readings. I did a reading that was focusing on a deity first, like one who wanted to contact me. All of the cards pointed to it being Loki. Okay. So we did another reading about a situation: about my situation with feeling uneasy about jumping into Paganism and contacting Loki. The second reading had kind of an expected result: all of the cards were about procrastination and trusting your gut and just taking action. It seemed like a pretty clear sign: Loki wanted me to just take the leap and contact him.

Today on the way to class, the very first song that played was The Adventure by Angels & Airwaves (the lyrics are important here). I was like “huh, okay, that’s a little weird, but not a sign, right?” The next song that came on was Your Guardian Angel by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Then Through Heaven’s Eyes from Prince of Egypt. Pandora normally plays songs that are in the same category back-to-back, but these had nothing in common. It felt very much like Loki yelling at me to just give him a chance. So I told him I heard him, apologized for taking so long to reach out to him, and asked him to please be patient while I built up the courage to contact him in the coming days.