loitratista

[loitratista]

[loitratista]

I don’t want to fall into the trap of using another person to forget another.

But his offer of comfort and solidarity are just too tempting.

[loitratista]

Ctrl + Z, please.

[loitratista]

Just discovered that I have a great talent in acting.

I can flash a very wide smile and laugh really hard, even though my heart is breaking into pieces.

[loitratista]

Was supposed to come to work today despite of the heavy ashfall due to eruption of Taal volcano but mom sabotaged it by turning off my alarm.

I was really pissed off but when she told me she wanted me to stay home for my safety, my heart just melted.

Mothers are the best!!

[loitratista]

Today, I filed my resignation.

Been planning to do it since last year but only this time I got the courage to leave the company since the situation calls for it.

I was so demotivated in the previous months. It has been such a struggle to rise from my bed every day. I always feel burned out. There's no passion anymore in what I am doing. The only reason I continue to work is because of money and my colleagues. The management and the account itself have become so toxic but it's the opposite with my colleagues.

And this is prolly the reason why my heart is so heavy right now. Yes, I am glad that I will no longer have to face the toxic environment but something stabs me deeply everytime I think that I'll no longer exchange jokes with the friends I made. I'll no longer be able to fake act at the clinic. I will miss our workforce who have become so familiar with me due to my recurring "system issues". I will miss my supervisors and coaches who pruned and equipped me not only with work but also with life lessons. I will miss that feeling of coaching and transferring my skills with other agents.

I've never thought that I'll be leaving the company in tears. I may have hated the management but I have loved the people working under them.

True enough that nothing's permanent in the BPO industry. People come and go but no matter where we go next, the previous one will always leave an imprint in our hearts.

Thank you, iQor, for everything. Thank you for giving me new friends and family. Thank you for turning me into a “super agent.” It may have been a rough journey but I will miss you.

[loitratista]

I am not okay.

[loitratista]

A Note To Self

Dear Self,

Your friends and colleagues are pressuring you to get into a relationship since you are now in the right age and you have a good job. At times, you are daydreaming on how does it feel to be hugged, to be kissed, to have someone protect and escort you, and such.

It’s time that you open your doors. Entertain a guy who wants to pursue you. Give him a chance. Welcome a relationship. But, be wise. Don’t change your principles just because of pressure. Remember, as you draw yourself to God, He will draw the right guy towards you. 

Do not let your age drive you into doing things that should not be hurried. Everything comes in the right season. 

And while you wait, invest on yourself. Aim for a higher position in job. Start learning those things that you have always dreamed of since you were young such as scuba diving. Start being involved in your community. Improve more on your craft. Attend photography workshops. In your spare time, do a photo walk, experiment on new compositions and camera tricks, even if you have to do it alone. Get into spoken word poetry again. Spend quality time with your family. Go on dates with your parents. Most importantly, build and level up your spiritual life. Do these things while you are single. So when the right guys comes, you have already built up yourself and you are ready to devote yourself with that person.

[loitratista]

Burn-out.

I have a shift but I called in sick. Been working in the BPO industry for 1 year and 6 months, and everyday I had to drag myself to work. I’m tired but what choice do I have? It’s my bread and butter.

How I wish I could freeze the time in few moments and take some rest.

[loitratista]

Why do I write?

Before, I write just to simply express myself. I struggled in verbally expressing myself so I used the power of a pen to convey my thoughts. But as I grew older, I fell deeper in love with the magic of words and learned to use them in understanding myself and the world in clearer lens.

Writing is my therapy... a powerful tool that cures my mental and emotional deficiency. It gives me the rights words to fill in the blanks around me and paint an accurate description on how I perceive the world.

Writing is my camera lens, helping me to zoom in and focus on the most important subject. And just as how a photograph immortalize its subjects, writing gives immortality to my thoughts and to the characters in my story.

Most importantly, writing gives me sense of fulfillment. It gives me joy that no other material in this world can ever provide.

[loitratista]

Si Nanay Lina. 77 years old. Isang takatak vendor.

Pinipilit pa rin nyang magtinda ng buong magdamag para matustusan ang pag-aaral ng dalawa nyang apo. Isa sa mga anak nya ay epileptic. Kasabayan naman nyang nagbabanat ng buto sa tabi ng lansangan ang kanyang asawa at isa pang anak. Habang nakikinig ako kay Nanay, hindi ko maiwasan mamangha. Dahil sa bawat kwento nya, lubos ang pasasalamat nya sa Panginoon. Sa kabila ng kalagayan nila, wala kang mararamdaman na hinagpis, lungkot o bahid ng reklamo sa tinig nya.

Bigla kong nasalamin ang sarili ko. Nagtatrabaho ako sa isang BPO company. Dayshift ako, samantalang si Nanay ay night-shift. Halos pareho lang ang bilang ng oras ng pagtatrabaho namin. Ang pagkakaiba? Kumportableng nakaupo ako sa isang opisinang fully airconditioned samantalang siya naman ay nakapwesto lamang sa tabi ng kalsada, tanging poste lang ng ilaw ang sinasandalan nya. At dahil nasa tabi siya ng kalsada, walang kasiguraduhan ang kaligtasan nya. Bahagyang mas mataas rin ang sweldo ko kumpara sa kinikita ni Nanay. Madalas ako magreklamo sa hirap ng trabaho ko. Pero anak ng patis. Ano ba yung hirap na nararanasan ko kumpara kay Nanay? Ni hindi ko man lang sya naringgan ng kahit anong reklamo.

Bigla akong nahiya kay Nanay. Nahiya ako sa mga naghahanap buhay na araw-araw pinapaso ng tirik na araw at niyayakap ng lamig sa gabi.

Hindi ako patas. Hindi patas ang mundo.

Gayunpaman, tulad ng sabi ni Nanay. Anumang meron tayo ay kailangan natin ipagpasalamat sa Panginoon. Araw-araw ay meron tayong dahilan para magpasalamat.

Bago kami maghiwalay, humiling si Nanay na bigyan ko sya ng kopya ng litratong kuha ko sa kanya. Inimbitahan pa nga nya kami sa birthday ng asawa nya sa kamakalawa. Sayang nga lang dahil may kanya-kanya na kaming lakad sa araw na yun.

Pagkaraan ng dalawang linggo, binalikan ko si Nanay kasama yung picture nya na naka-frame na. Pagkakita pa lang nya sa ‘kin, ang tamis na nang ngiti nya. Natatandaan nya ko. Mas lalo syang natuwa nang inabot ko na sa kanya yung litrato. Sa tuwa nya, niyakap nya ko.

Sa iilang taon ko bilang litratista, ito marahil ang pinakamatamis kong karanasan. Sobra ang pasasalamat nya pero sa loob-loob ko, mas lubos akong nagpapasalamat dahil sa pagpapakilala nya sa’kin ng bagong anggulo sa buhay.

“A portrait is not made on the camera but on either side of it.” - Edward Steichen

[loitratista]

Gusaling tukudlangit.

[loitratista]

Baybayin. Nakakabilib lang isipin na bago pa dumating ang mga Spanish, Japanese and American squad, eh meron na talaga tayong sariling sistema ng pagsusulat. Nabasa ko sa libro na halos walang babae o lalaki na hindi marunong bumasa at sumulat noon. Grabe. Ganon kataas ang kaalaman ng mga Pilipino noon? Ibig sabihin pala, likas na talaga tayong matatalino. Pero paano nga kaya kung hanggang ngayon eh ganito pa rin ang sistema ng ating pagsusulat? Lakas maka-Arab feels! Sabi ng iba, baka daw hindi umabot o yumabong ng ganito ang ekonomiya ng Pilipinas. Mhm. Hindi ko alam. Basta ang gusto ko ngayon eh mag-aral kung pa'no sumulat ng baybayin. Isa itong mahalagang parte ng kasaysayan. Sana lang hindi dumating sa punto na tuluyan nang maging misteryo sa karamihan ang baybayin na bumubuo ng malaking parte ng pagkakakilanlan nating mga Pilipino. #baybayin #kasaysayan #Pilipinas

[loitratista]

Being perfect won't make you stand out. That's too cliche. It is loving and accepting your imperfections as part of you and turning your weaknesses into strengths that will make you outstanding. #imperfections #outstanding #nature #photosplash

[loitratista]

One of the most difficult situations in life is having to choose between things you really love.. those things that you are so passionate for. Just minutes ago, I was scrolling through my news feed and came across this post that made me swoon. It was an announcement from a terrific writer about their writing workshop to be held this month. I immediately clicked the link and ran through the details. You know that feeling of going to a supermarket and finding everything you need packed in one promo bag? That’s the epitome of what I felt. Everything I want and need to know about writing will be discussed in the workshop in a cheap price. Like seriously, how is it even possible? I was so pumped up that I even started imagining myself writing completely free from the struggle in finding the right words because of how the workshop turned me into. I checked my schedule to see if there will be any conflict and TADA *insert shocked and crying emojis*, there is. The workshop will be held on July 30. It’s the same day I have to be at the Church because I am one of the assigned teachers to lead the Children’s Church the next day. And with that, I know I’ll have to let go of something. Without any second thought, I closed the site. Why the heck I decided to let go of the opportunity to grow as a writer? Because the opportunity to grow spiritually is far better than anything else in the world. I would be lying if I say it doesn’t pain me to let go of the opportunity but with all the proof of God’s faithfulness in my life, I know He will open more doors for me. He was the One who gave me this skill and I believe that He will also be the One who will give me avenues to grow and develop it. God should always be our top priority. There should be no second thoughts when it comes to serving Him. He gives us air, time, strength, grace and everything we need. He didn’t think twice when He sent His most beloved Son to save us. So who are we to give Him second thoughts? I guess I made the wrong introduction so let me end this with a conclusion, “Best decisions in life are those that draw us closer to God and the best feeling in this world is to put a smile in the face of our Creator .”

[loitratista]

Friendship has this power to make everything look colorful even in a wavering light. #friendship #sunset #photoblend