localidiotman

[localidiotman]

[localidiotman]

Reblogging this post again lol, everyone in the thread is deactivated it looks like but anyway

I have always had very low self confidence

I base my self worth on the opinions of others

I have an anxiety disorder that makes it harder for me to accept that other people love me

I have an eating disorder that distorts how I view myself

I have dysphoria

I have a lot of things that feed into self hatred. A person with dysphoria CAN love themselves despite having it. It takes a LOT for a person to hate themselves. A lot of issues and/or traumas. If you're dysphoric and you love yourself, more power to you! I'm so happy you get to live like that, and I wish you the best of luck with everything! I love you!

If you're dysphoric and you hate yourself, you hate your body and the way it is or whatever, I love you too! There are people who are ready and able to help you work through that!

Maybe your dysphoria prevents you from loving yourself. You base your self worth in your looks, and you aren't able to love your looks because of it.

You can, and I hope you do, love yourself despite having dysphoria. I don't. In fact, I never really have. I've always hated myself. I recognize that, and yes, I am working on it. I'm not to the point where I can say "I love myself" and mean it yet, but one day, I will be.

I have a personality, I really do. In fact, I've never really liked basing myself in my transness. It's always been something I've ran from because it scares me.

Anyway, it's late and this probably didn't make sense. Goodnight to all, I love you.

All these tucutes saying to “accept your body and stop hating yourselves!1!1!” when they can’t even accept their own body…

Like, I have dysphoria that makes me not accept my body

You don’t, so accept it

Quit transitioning without a reason and telling us to just get over dysphoria

[localidiotman]

About a week ago I posted this.

I’ve been getting horrible messages like this in my ask for months, including:

and my personal favorite

After getting the message saying “Just go kill yourself” I was completely done dealing with this person’s horrible messages and replied with just an “Okay.” and logged off tumblr.

About a week later I logged back on with 17 messages in my ask, most of them from the anon. I scrolled down and at first when I logged off, the anon messaged me things like

I scrolled up more and all of a sudden they started sending me more and more messages like

This was extremely surprising to me. I thought “After all those horrible messages you sent to me for MONTHS about hating me and wanting me dead, you say ‘sorry’ and that you ‘cant be responsible for someone’s suicide’?”

But I guess the lesson goes like this:

DONT TELL ANYONE TO KILL THEMSELVES UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED FOR WHAT MIGHT ACTUALLY HAPPEN

[localidiotman]

When I was 13 years old and curious about sex and love, I asked my mom if she had had sex before marrying my father (of whom she is still married to, and has been since before I was born). She said that that wasn’t really a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question. I said ‘sure it is, you’ve either had sex before him, or you haven’t’. She brought me onto the couch and sat me down and told me about the boy she liked when she was young and how one night she snuck into his house while his parents were gone and they were kissing and he said they should have sex and she said that she wanted to save sex for marriage and he laughed and basically took all her clothes off and he raped her and as my mom was telling the story she cried and this was the second time I had ever seen my mom cry. She was 12 when it happened.

In grade 8 I got a call from my friend in the middle of the night and she was drunk in the park crying and told me that she went out that night with some other friends and they drank a little and her guy “friend” starting flirting and yes she laughed at first but then he tried to pull her shirt over her head and she pulled away and he ripped her shirt and it was her favourite shirt and then he pushed her to her knees and HIS BEST FRIEND HELD HER JAW OPEN WHILE HE FACE FUCKED HER. And so I went to the park and picked her up and took her home and slept in her bed with her except we didn’t sleep because she just cried and her mouth bled and this was four years ago but I still have to be the one to bring her items to the till it the cashier is a man, and she still has anxiety attacks and she’ll get a rash all over her body and I just want to kill those boys but instead they are still walking around. And I’m in the bathroom with her, dabbing at her skin with a warm cloth until it returns to its regular colour.

And in grade 9 one of my closest friends was kinda seeing this boy and so they hung out one night and then she said that she really had to be getting back home and he said that she wasn’t going anywhere until she gave him what he wanted and he parked the car and took off her clothes and she said no and he ignored her and so she laid in the backseat totally limp and just cried and it wasn’t even sex, he just masterbated by using her body instead of his hand and she came to school the next day with vodka in her water bottle and she drank all day and I had to fight her to get the alcohol away from her and she just cried and threw up and I skipped class while I held her hair back and that same boy texted me a month later, asking if I ever wanted to hangout sometime.

And in that same year my very best friend who has never even kissed a boy, confessed to me that when she was 9 years old, her 12 year old cousin made her give him a hand job and he told her that was what cousins do and he gave her a chocolate bar afterwards and she told me that he probably doesn’t even remember it but that it’s something that she’ll never have the luxury of forgetting.

And in grade 10 I knew a girl who invited her best friend over to watch Disney movies and then he started to put his hands down her pants and she said no but she is 130lbs and he is 220lbs and he called her a tease while she tried to fight him but he used one hand to hold her down, and the other to put inside of her and i was the one to push her inside of a classroom and stand in front of her while calling the police when he showed up at our school looking for her and she was so damn scared.

And a few months later I skipped class and was in the car with a guy who i had had unprotected sex with in the past while under the influence of cocaine but this time I was sober and I insisted we use a condom but he told me he couldn’t feel anything while the condom was on so he ripped it off and I said I refused to have unprotected sex again and so he just grabbed me and forced himself into my mouth and I was crying and he pulled me onto him and I just came saying “stop” over and over like a broken record but he must’ve heard something different because he went until he came and I just sat naked in the backseat while he drove me back to the school and said “we should do this again sometime”. And I had five showers that night and I scratched at my skin so hard to try and rip his fingerprints off of me, I still have the scars.

And I found out soon afterwards that that same guy had raped a classmate of mine, 5 months earlier and she told me about how he brought her McDonald’s first, and how he said they could take things slow and she told me about how he didn’t listen to her either. And he goes to our school and so after she told me about her incident and I told her about mine, we decided to report it to the police and the trial is currently still going on and he told people about it, except in his version we are just “asking for attention” and all his friends talk about how bad they feel for him. As if HE is the one that still wakes up screaming. As if HE felt like his skin no longer was beautiful, no longer belonged to him. And I held her in my arms as she bawled after giving the police her statement. And she did the same for me.

And I met a woman a year ago in a paint store and she had a service dog and I asked what the dog was for and it turns out that she had been so brutally raped and abused in her life, that the dog is literally trained to keep men away from her.

And I’m so FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF THIS WORLD WE ARE LIVING IN. How many rape victims eyes have I already looked into? How many more will I? And how many more friends will I hold while they shake? Because I don’t know how many more I can take. And who the fuck still has the nerve to make rape jokes? And… Something just has to change. Please, someone just start being that change.

-16 year old girl

[localidiotman]

[localidiotman]

my bio prof: which parasite caused the potato famine?

the tiny desperate tired voice in my head: don’t say the english, it’s correct, but don’t say it

[localidiotman]

Smile era

[localidiotman]

I will never understand girls who throw their bras at guys on stage those things are fucking expensive and he has no use for it like what do you want him to do pass it down to his first born daughter

[localidiotman]

i’m dying that robert downey jr posted this on his official facebook 😂😂😂 

[localidiotman]

Quick Poll

I need to prove a point.

Like if your definition of “Spork” is this:

Reblog if your definition of “Spork” is this:

[localidiotman]

Boy: *hands me diamond ring* will you marry me Me: *puts diamond ring on* na

[localidiotman]

People over the age of 25 being allowed to exist on Internet spaces and not be shamed for having normal hobbies: good

Minors being able to exist in Internet spaces without being harassed or groomed by creepy assholes twice their age: also good

These are not conflicting viewpoints!

[localidiotman]

Well I did not expect to be told to smile when I had 2 boxes of tampons, a large box of Midol, and a bag of chocolate in my basket, but I guess some dudes have a death wish.

[localidiotman]

apparently there’s some Straight Girl discourse out there in the reaches of the internet about how bi men are unappealing to date?? and anyway i want to make this post to remind everyone that bi boys & bi guys & bi men are wonderful and awesome and you don’t need the approval of straight people EVER.

[localidiotman]

a NSFW blog but instead of porn it’s just pictures of unsafe work practices 

[localidiotman]

there r real teens out there who think discovering nirvana is a special achievement 

[localidiotman]

Everyone talks about how animals can see colors we can’t but I wanna know wtf my dog is smelling for three minutes on the sidewalk