lizsogolden

[lizsogolden]

Hot one!!! 🫦🔥

Scene Stealers

Summery: You and Harry decide to film yourself having sex for fun, until you decide to upload it and become famous over night.

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: a lot of smut, sex tapes/filmed sex, pornstars, slight dom Harry, fem!reader (you and Harry attend a University in the US, but he is still English :)

It started as an intimate moment between you two, something that you thought would be funny. You were cuddling in your dorm room, squeezing yourselves into the twin bed, watching a movie on your laptop. Your roommate was gone, she was spending the weekend with her family, which allowed you two to get close.

It was slow, Harry giving you light kisses on your head as it rested on his chest, your hand resting on his abdomen, slowly rubbing up and down every once in a while. It wasn’t until Harry paused the movie and closed the laptop that you climbed on top of him, straddling his body. You leaned down to start making out with him, letting your hands grip his shirt as you started to grind yourself against his crotch. Your already short shorts were starting to ride up while he gripped your ass.

“Mmm, let me see you.” He lightly pushed you forward, motioning you to sit up as he pulled away from your lips. You giggled, not really knowing what he was trying to do. “I want to take a picture of you.”

“No, my hair looks so crazy right now.” You laughed, covering your face as he grabbed his phone from the nightstand.

“You look so perfect.” He placed one hand on your hip, capturing you while you hid behind your hands. “C’mon baby, let me see your pretty face.”

You finally uncovered your face to let him quickly snap his photos.

“Are you done yet?” You laughed as he kept his phone pointed toward you.

“I’m taking a video.”

“Harryyy.” You said, drawing out his name. “I wanna keep kissing you.” You tugged on his shirt, hoping to get back to where you were and leaned down to kiss his neck.

“We can keep this on.” He whispered, gesturing to his phone, you both stared at each other for a moment. He leaned over to place his phone on the nightstand, propping it up against his water bottle, the camera pointing towards the bed. “Is this okay?”

You slowly nodded your head, “You’re not going to go around showing this to all your frat buddies, are you?”

“Hell no, this is only for me.” You knew he was telling you the truth, not only because you trusted him, but because you knew he wasn’t wasn’t the stereotypical frat boy—going around showing intimate photos of his girlfriend to everyone.

You leaned down again, going back to kissing him, his hands immediately finding their way back to your ass. He flipped you over, still being careful in the smaller bed. His hand traveled up your shirt, feeling every inch of your chest.

As he began to lift up your shirt you stopped him, remembering the camera pointed at the both of you. “Are we going to keep recording?” You smiled, looking up at him.

“We’ll do whatever you want, baby. Do you want to keep recording? Get your pretty face on camera, taking my cock?”

That was the first time you made a sex tape together. And it definitely wasn’t the last.

It was almost three times a week that you would film yourselves. There was something about it that was so exciting and sexy. It was a deeply intimate and vulnerable moment between you two and filming it to watch over and over again made it much more fun for some reason. It was very casual though, you weren't worried about getting certain shots, about anyone viewing it, it was just two University students filming themselves for fun.

Until it wasn’t.

You couldn’t remember who suggested you upload the videos to PornHub, but you do remember sitting on his bed in his frat house, watching the video slowly upload to the website.

“I can still cancel it, if you want to change your mind.” He reminded you.

But you didn’t cancel it, you both watched it upload with no regret in sight. You stared at the video for minutes, watching the view count. When the number went from 0 to 1 you both jumped. Someone just watched you two have sex.

Though it wasn’t your initial intention to make money from this, when you woke up to 100,000 views on your first video, after going to bed with under 50, and 20,000 subscribers, it wasn’t a conversation you could avoid. You were two broke students who needed extra money…and now you could get that by just having sex.

“I mean it’s not a bad idea…we’ve already made 100 dollars, for one video.” You said, pacing back and forth in your dorm room while Harry sat on your bed. “I guess I just worry about people finding out…our friends, our parents…that’s the only thing I worry about.”

Harry thought for a moment. “Fuck ‘em.” He shifted to the edge of the bed and grabbed your arm to pull you closer. “We’re making good money just off one video, we’re not showing our faces, it would be a wasted opportunity. Who cares what other people think, assuming they’d ever even find out.”

“I know……but we can’t tell anyone, if they find out, they find out, but let’s just try to keep it a secret as long as possible.”

Harry gave you a kiss, letting his lips linger on yours for a moment, until he moved to your jawbone, then your neck.

“Plus, I’ve been enjoying having these…..watching my pretty girl get fucked whenever I want…and you’re so good on camera, you’re a natural. You’re pretty moans…pushing your beautiful tits together, I want people to watch us, knowing I’m the only one who gets to fuck you.”

So you continued making videos. You still weren’t worried about the quality, it was the only art form where people were quite content with quantity over quality.

You still didn’t show your faces, only shooting videos from the neck down as he fucked you in missionary, setting the camera up behind you as you were riding him, and yet, people loved it.

You were getting millions of views per video with thousands of comments…people were actually taking the time to create an account and comment on a porn video for you guys. They loved how gentle Harry was with you while also being dominant, how he praised you, gave you the best aftercare, sometimes even stopping before his orgasm to cuddle with you and help you come down from yours. They loved your moans and how you knew how to be a perfect mix of sweet and sexy.

Comments (1.3k)

User497063848:

i’ve never commented on a video before but i created an account just to let you know how perfect this video is 👍

KeeponWorking0527

I need a relationship like this. You two are perfect.

cherryangel444

he is sooooo hot,,,she is very lucky

Keepcumming8742

→ HE is the lucky one she has such a perfect body

It wasn’t long until you felt like porn celebrities.

You were constantly being featured on the home page, people in your comments were begging for more videos minutes after you just posted…but most of all, they were dying to see your faces.

“I mean…it’s not a horrible idea, and a lot of people are demanding it.” Harry pointed out, as you debated whether or not to reveal your identities.

“But it’s also something we can’t take back…once our faces are out there, they’re out there forever.”

“That’s true…but is that such a bad thing? We'll make so much more money if we use our names and show our faces, that we'll be rich enough to just disappear if we end up regretting it.” Harry replied, knowing that pornstars who had a face to their content make way more money than anonymous performers. “We could buy a house in the Italian countryside as retired pornstars.”

You laughed as he outlined your future together. “This is something you’ve thought about a lot?”

“Of course I have, the only thing I’ve been worrying about since we started dating is how we’re going to comfortably spend the rest of our lives together, and we’re making a fuck ton of money…this is the only time that weight hasn’t been on my shoulders.”

You looked at him softly, not knowing he had been stressing over your future together. You would be lying if you said your life hadn’t improved once you became sex workers. Not having to worry about tuition, food, finances after graduating, you felt liberated.

“Let’s show our faces then.”

For your next video, not only did you show your faces but you upgraded everything. You went from iPhones to a professional camera and microphones, capturing the perfect shots and noises of each position.

You decided to film in Harry’s bedroom at his frat house while all his friends were at some party at a sorority. You could be as open and loud as you wanted. You swapped out Harry’s gray and navy blue sheets for some pretty florals that matched well with your lingerie.

Harry set up the camera on a tripod at the side of the bed as you waited on the bed, sitting on your heels. Once he hit the record he walked over to you, his hands immediately finding your hips and pulling you close.

“Tell me if you want to stop, or if you need a break, whatever you need.”

You nodded and smashed your lips onto his, eager to make your video. His hands roamed your entire body to highlight each feature for the camera.

“You look so sexy, I love this set.” He complimented you, reaching behind you to unclasp your bra.

“I figured I needed to wear my best for the special occasion.” You cheekily replied, pulling him down with you as you threw your bra aside and layed down on your back.

It wasn’t long until the camera was off the tripod and in Harry’s hand, filming you as he hovered above you, running his hands up your stomach and kneeding your breasts.

“So perfect.” He whispered, admiring your body.

His hands slowly fell to your panties, hooking his fingers in the waistband and pulling them down. Teasing you, his fingers danced around your pussy, but never touching where you wanted him to.

“mmm, please Harry.” You whined, trying to roll your hips into his fingers. It felt odd to say his name on camera, which you had previously avoided doing.

“Okay, baby, I’ve got you.” He finally slid two fingers inside of you, causing you to let out a heavy breath and continue to roll your hips as he curled his fingers upward.

“So good, Harry.”

Your fingers found the waistband of his briefs in between your legs and pulled them down. As his cock sprang out you grabbed it and started to slowly jerk him off.

“Can I suck you off?” You ask, looking up at him and the camera.

You both definitely played up your sexuality when you were filming, because you knew how porn worked, but what made people like you so much is that it was still natural and realistic, it never crossed the line of being theatrical.

“Do you need to ask, pretty baby?” You gave him a satisfactory smile and shifted to where he was sitting on the bed, still holding the camera, and you sat on your knees in front of him.

You grabbed his cock again, using your mouth and lips to lick and kiss along his entire shaft. Your eyes stayed on him, and the lense of the camera, most of the time, giving them a seductive look.

“Such a perfect cock sucker.” Harry ogled, switching between looking directly at you and through the camera.

Your mouth found his tip, preparing him and yourself before lowering your mouth down repeatedly. You moaned as you pleased his cock, another thing your viewers loved. From your very first videos they would comment how you seemed to love Harry’s cock by your repetitive hums and moans as it was in your mouth.

FranksPH1985

Listen to how much she moans while his dick is in her mouth, she looks so perfect.

lovelylovely<3

her moaning every time he praises her as she sucks him 😩 you are such a cute couple!! 💞

User29394682031

She sucks him off like it’s her favorite pastime. Lucky man.

You eventually found yourself back on the bed, laying down in the same position you were prior, laying down on your back. This time, you held the camera as he laid down in between your legs.

He peppered kisses on your inner thighs until his mouth found your clit, giving an initial lick before lapping and sucking at it. Your free hand grabbed his hair, gripping and pulling as he pleasured you.

“Oh, fuck, Harry, that’s so fucking good.” You cried, lifting your hips up and down, unable to stay still.

“Yeah? You like your pussy licked sweet baby?” You moaned in response. He lifted one of your legs, pushing it to your chest to get better access as his motions sped up.

“Need you to fuck me, please Harry.” You said after a couple minutes, knowing you wouldn’t last much longer, but wanted to cum on his cock.

“Well, since you asked so nicely.”

He got off the bed and grabbed the tripod, placing it on the other side of the bed, focused on you two.

“Flip over, let me see you on your knees.” He requested in a dominant tone, helping you flip over.

He dragged his cock up and down against you as a way to tease you, which worked. You whimpered out impatiently, causing him to lay a light slap to your ass.

“Be patient baby, you’ll get my cock eventually, no need to be a whiney girl.”

He finally slid himself into you and pushed his entire length in, causing you to slightly wince. His pace was very quick from the get go, causing a string of long moans to repetitively leave your mouth.

“Uh huh, fuck Harry…please keep going.”

He stayed quiet, focusing on slamming his hips into your ass. You struggled to hold yourself up as he pounced into you, both your arms and legs almost giving out at his fast pace.

Your stomach began to churn, a familiar warmness beginning to fill your stomach. Then suddenly, right as you were nearing your orgasm, his thrusts drastically stopped, causing your breathing to hitch. As he started to move again, his thrusts stayed slow, feeling like there were minutes in between each one.

Taking matters into your own hands, after silent whines didn’t work, you started to back yourself into him, hoping to get as close to your orgasm as you once were. Harry immediately stopped you, roughly grabbed your hips and pulled you into him, bottoming himself out in you.

You cried out as you felt his long cock reach the deepest it could go.

“Shhh, shhh, stop baby.” He told you, leaning down to wrap an arm around you and talk in your ear. “Are you going to be a good girl and let me fuck you how I want? Or do we need to stop?”

“I’ll be good…please, I was about to cum Harry.” You complied. He gave you a kiss on the cheek before leaning back up.

“I know baby, I know. We’ll get you there.”

After continuing working on an extremely slow pace from behind, he turned you around, so you were still on your hands and knees, but now facing him. Taking your chin in his hand, he looked down at you.

“Can you suck my dick again?” He kindly asked. You almost laughed, this was one of his ways he liked to edge you, roughly work on you until you were so close to climaxing, then take all the attention off you. You can’t say you didn’t mind it, it made the orgasm 10x, and your viewers sure didn’t mind.

“You’re so mean.” You sarcastically said, trying to hide your smile.

“Oh, I know, so mean.” He replied, pouting his lip.

You grabbed his cock again, giving it all your attention, know that would get him back to fucking you sooner. Your ass stayed in the air, almost as if you were trying to entice him. And it definitely worked as he leaned forward to move his cock farther into your throat and to grab a handful of your ass.

Once you couldn’t take it anymore, you kissed up his abdomen, coming and crawling toward him.

“Please Harry.” You begged, leaning in to kiss him with your pouty lip. “I’ve only asked nicely, and I’ve been good.”

“I know you have baby, you’ve been so good. Why don’t you lay down for me, hmm? On your back.”

You didn’t hesitate. You placed your back on bed and opened your legs as if there was no time to waste.

“Let’s grab you a pillow, make sure you’re comfy.” He grabbed a pillow and placed it under your head. Once you were finally situated, his thrusts went back to a steadily fast past.

Harry placed one of your legs on his shoulder, holding the other one at his side as he watched your breast bounce at the rhythm of his thrusts.

“So fucking pretty…I love watching you.” He admired you. You didn’t reply, letting your repeated moans speak for themselves.

“Harry, ‘m so close.” You cried out, arching your back.

“Let go baby, wanna feel you squeeze my cock.” He encouraged you.

You reached back, grabbing a fistful of your pillow and letting your mouth fall open in pleasure . Your stomach twisted again until you reached your peak, your orgasm erupting through you. It was almost like you blackedout from how powerful it was. You squeezed your eyes shut as all the sound around you was shut out.

Your breathing was heavy as you came down, like you had just run 5 miles. Harry’s pace slowed again, letting your now sensitive body rest.

“Need a break, baby?” This was the question he always asked after bringing you to an orgasm, knowing they could be quite powerful. It was something both you and your fans found endearing (and hot).

cycybaby1999

notice how he immediately checks in on her after she cums? 🥺 take notes men!

CherryLoved

The hottest thing a man can do is give you aftercare before he finishes. Y’all are so perf. 🫶

He pulled himself out of you, laid beside you and pulled you into his chest. He gently rubbed your back and rested his lips on your head.

“My legs are so shaky.” You noticed, smiling into his chest.

He chucked, looking down at your trembling limbs. “Poor girl,” He kissed your head and continued to help you come down. You felt your eyes become heavy, Harry’s now steady heart putting you to sleep. “All done?” He questioned, still rubbing your back.

“No, no, I wanted you to cum on my face.” He chuckled at your blatant vulgarity. “I thought it would be a good shot for our face reveal.”

You kneeled back down on the floor as Harry grabbed the camera again. You spit in your hand and began rubbing his shaft, using a mix of your spit and cum to get him off. The camera picked up Harry’s heavy, now unsteady, breathing as his orgasm approached.

He freed one of his hands and held the back of your hair before cumming all over your face. He took a moment to let the camera capture the white fluid that laid on your lips, cheek, and forehead.

After Harry gave you his sweet aftercare and stopped filming, you both cleaned up before getting back into his bed.

“That was so perfect, baby.” He complimented you as you rested against his chest, wearing one of his shirts and his sweatpants. “You still want to upload it?” He asked, clarifying once again.

“Of course, I think people will really like it…At least I did.”

Three days later, the video was uploaded and quickly became your highest viewed video, and the comments overwhelmingly positive.

Finally doing a face reveal!!! | HARRY & Y/N

CherryLoved

OMG??? YOU GUYS ARE WAY HOTTER THAN I IMAGINED?!?!

User29394682031

Never thought I’d see this day. Very hot.

lovelylovely<3

you guys are sooooo cute 😩😩😩 im going to love watching you even more now!!!

cycybaby1999

damn girl, you are so gorg !!!

FranksPH1985

Big day for horny people.

You would open your computer every morning and read all the wonderful comments you were getting, which motivated you to make more and more videos.

“This is crazy…we’re going to become sex fiends after this.” You joked as you sat in his bed.

“So not much will change.” He joked back.

As you continued to read through each comment, your phone dinged from the nightstand. It was a text from your roommate.

Laila

Are you and Harry pornstars?

Tag List!

@mema10 @lizsogolden @harrrrystylesslut @tulips4harry @cloudyluun

[lizsogolden]

So in love with this!!! 🤗

Serendipity & Stumbles

Summary: Based on this request. You never expected to keep bumping into Harry Styles, single dad and bookstore owner, but fate—and your kids—had other plans. From coffee shop disasters to rainy-night rescues, your lives keep tangling together, no matter how much you try to resist. But when two very determined little matchmakers step in, running might not be an option anymore.

Slow-burn, single-parent chaos, meddling kids, and Harry in full-on dad mode? Yeah, you’re in trouble.

A/N: I dragged this slow burn out on purpose. I made you suffer. And honestly? I’d do it again. Thanks for sticking around, even when you wanted to scream at them to just kiss already. This isn't proofread, sorryyy

Word Count: 8,4k

Warnings:

Single parent struggles (exhaustion, self-doubt, balancing work & motherhood)

Mentions of past unhealthy relationships (nothing graphic, but allusions to emotional difficulty & fear of attachment)

Slow-burn romance (painfully slow at times, because I like to make you suffer before the payoff 😌)

Lots of angst, mutual pining, and missed opportunities before they actually get their shit together

Fluff so sweet it might rot your teeth

Smut!!

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

The smell of freshly brewed coffee wrapped around you the moment you stepped inside the bookstore café, the warmth of it a stark contrast to the biting chill outside. You shifted your bag higher on your shoulder, guiding Lily toward an empty table near the window, where golden afternoon light streamed in.

She clutched her book to her chest, her small fingers curling around the edges of the worn cover like it was something precious. “Can I get a hot chocolate, Mummy?” she asked, peering up at you with wide eyes.

You smiled, smoothing down the flyaway curls at her temple. “Of course, love. Let’s get settled first, yeah?”

Balancing motherhood and work had turned you into an expert multitasker—or at least someone who tried very hard to be. You pulled out your laptop as Lily slid into the chair opposite you, already flipping through the pages of her book. The café was busy but cozy, the low hum of conversations blending with the clinking of mugs and the occasional flutter of a turned page.

This bookstore had quickly become your sanctuary—somewhere Lily could sink into stories while you answered emails or proofread articles. It was one of the few places where you could steal a moment of peace.

At least, until peace became a fleeting thing.

One second, Lily was happily stirring her hot chocolate, her lips moving as she silently read. The next, her elbow knocked against the cup, and the dark liquid sloshed over the rim, spilling onto her dress.

She froze.

You saw the panic flicker across her face before the wobble in her lip began.

“Oh, baby, it’s okay,” you soothed, immediately reaching for the napkins. “We’ll clean it up.”

But her breath hitched, and her eyes grew glassy, the embarrassment of it all outweighing any comfort you could offer. You could see it coming—the slow build to a meltdown in the middle of a crowded café.

And then, a voice—warm, steady.

“Need some help?”

You looked up.

The man standing beside your table held out a stack of napkins, his green eyes bright with amusement but softened by something kinder. His dark curls were pushed back from his face, a few strands stubbornly falling forward. There was a quiet confidence in the way he carried himself, dressed in a sweater that hugged his frame just right, sleeves pushed up to reveal inked skin.

Lily sniffled, her tiny hands twisting in the fabric of her stained dress.

Harry Styles.

You knew of him, in the way that people who lived in the same neighborhood knew of each other. The bookstore café was his, after all. You’d seen him before, in passing—restocking shelves, chatting with customers, sometimes with a little boy by his side. But you’d never spoken beyond polite nods and murmured thank-yous.

You hesitated before taking the napkins, flashing a quick, grateful smile. “Thank you. She’s just—”

“Having a rough go of it,” he finished, nodding. “Understandable. Hot chocolate tragedies are serious business.”

Lily blinked up at him, her lip still wobbling but her sniffles slowing.

Harry crouched beside her, a small smile playing at his lips. “I’ve got a spare jumper in the back—belongs to my son. I can grab it for you, if you’d like.”

Lily glanced at you for reassurance. You squeezed her small hand before nodding. “That’s very kind of you.”

“No trouble at all,” he said before disappearing into the back of the shop.

Lily fidgeted in her chair, picking at the hem of her dress. “I didn’t mean to spill,” she murmured.

“I know, sweetheart,” you said softly. “It was just an accident.”

Before you could say more, Harry returned, holding out a navy-blue sweater. It was slightly oversized, well-loved, the sleeves a little worn at the cuffs.

“Here we go,” he said, handing it to Lily. “Theo—my son—outgrows things faster than I can keep up with, so we always have extras.”

Lily took it, her small fingers brushing against the soft fabric. “Thank you,” she whispered.

Harry smiled, standing back up to his full height. His eyes flicked to you, something unreadable in his gaze. “No need to give it back. Consider it a gift from one hot chocolate lover to another.”

A beat of quiet passed between you, something unspoken lingering in the air.

You cleared your throat, breaking the moment. “That’s really thoughtful of you.”

He shrugged, slipping his hands into his pockets. “Part of the job.”

Lily tugged the sweater over her dress, the sleeves hanging past her fingers. You expected her to protest, but instead, she let out a small giggle, wiggling her arms. “It’s soft.”

Harry grinned. “Glad you approve.”

You exhaled, finally allowing the tension in your shoulders to ease. “Well, thank you again. We really appreciate it.”

“Anytime,” he said, giving a small nod before turning back toward the counter.

You watched him go, your fingers absently tapping against your coffee cup.

You weren’t sure why, but something about the moment stuck with you longer than it should have.

Maybe it was the ease of it, the way Harry had stepped in without hesitation, like it was second nature for him to help. Maybe it was the way he spoke to Lily—not as if she were just a child, but like her feelings mattered. Or maybe it was the simple fact that for the first time in a long while, someone had made your chaotic day feel just a little bit lighter.

You thought about it again a few days later as you sat on a bench at the park, the cool afternoon air crisp against your skin. Lily was somewhere nearby, her laughter carrying on the breeze, but your eyes were glued to the screen of your laptop, fingers tapping against the keyboard as you proofread an article on deadline.

“Just five more minutes, baby,” you murmured absently, knowing she probably wasn’t even listening.

It was one of those afternoons where time felt both endless and fleeting. The playground was buzzing with energy—kids climbing, running, the occasional squeal of excitement cutting through the air. You weren’t really paying attention, though, too caught up in work, too focused on making sure the words in front of you made sense.

A few benches away, Harry was doing much of the same.

Phone in hand, he paced a few steps back and forth, one hand in his pocket, the other holding the mobile to his ear. His brows were slightly furrowed, lips pressed together in that concentrated way people had when they were trying to remain patient on a frustrating call.

Neither of you noticed at first.

Neither of you saw them.

Lily and Theo.

Two tiny forces of nature, colliding without you even realizing it.

It wasn’t until a burst of laughter pulled your focus that you finally looked up.

Your gaze landed on Lily first, standing in the middle of the grass, her hands on her hips, head tilted back in giggles. Across from her, a little boy—a year or so older, dark curls peeking out from beneath a beanie—was laughing just as hard.

They were playing together.

You blinked, momentarily thrown, scanning the area for whoever the child belonged to.

Harry’s voice was still a low murmur as he spoke into the phone, but his eyes had landed on the same scene. His expression softened instantly, the stress from his call momentarily forgotten.

Theo.

You recognized the sweater immediately—the sweater. The same one Harry had given Lily after the hot chocolate incident. It was still too big on her, the sleeves hanging past her fingers, but that wasn’t stopping her from flapping her arms dramatically while Theo doubled over laughing.

It was oddly fascinating, watching them.

Lily, typically so shy around new kids, was standing toe-to-toe with Theo, chattering animatedly, completely unbothered by the fact that they’d only just met. Theo, for his part, looked just as amused, his eyes bright with mischief, like he’d already decided they were going to be best friends.

Your lips twitched into an involuntary smile.

It was… sweet.

Something in your periphery shifted, and you realized Harry was looking at you now.

There was a moment—an unspoken, quiet kind of moment—where neither of you said anything. Just sat there, watching your kids become friends without effort, like it was the simplest thing in the world.

Harry’s phone was still at his ear, but whatever conversation he was having was clearly secondary now. He shook his head slightly, amused, before rubbing a hand along his jaw, his own smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Without thinking, you spoke.

“Well, this is convenient.”

Harry huffed a laugh, finally ending his call before slipping the phone into his pocket. “Guess they’re making the decisions for us now.”

You nodded toward them. “I take it Theo is the mastermind behind this plan?”

He smirked. “Oh, definitely. He’s got a talent for roping people into whatever ridiculous scheme he’s come up with.”

Lily’s laughter rang out again as Theo dramatically flopped onto the grass, pretending to faint over something she’d said.

You shook your head fondly. “I think Lily might have just met her match.”

“Looks that way,” Harry agreed, leaning back against the bench, his posture relaxed but his gaze still lingering on his son.

You let the silence stretch between you, comfortable in a way you didn’t expect.

It was a strange thing, this… whatever this was.

Before the café, Harry had been nothing more than a familiar face. A neighbor, a bookstore owner, someone you exchanged brief smiles with but never really knew.

Now, though—now, he was sitting next to you, watching your kids become fast friends, and somehow it didn’t feel like a coincidence at all.

Just as you were about to say something else, Lily ran up to you, breathless and grinning. “Mummy! Theo says he has a dog!”

Harry chuckled, clearly predicting where this was going.

“Not just a dog,” Theo corrected, running up beside her. “A really big dog.”

Lily’s eyes went wide. “Can I meet him?”

Harry shot you a look, brows raised in amusement. “You alright with that?”

You hesitated, caught between the natural urge to say no to anything spontaneous—and the realization that, maybe, it wouldn’t be such a bad thing to say yes.

After all… maybe there were worse things than a little serendipity.

That thought lingered in your mind long after the park playdate, long after Lily had chattered endlessly about Theo’s “really big dog” and how she was convinced they needed one just like him.

It was still there a week later, tugging at the edges of your thoughts as you walked into the parents' meeting at Lily’s school.

You weren’t particularly looking forward to it—these things were always a mix of too much small talk and too many emails you’d later forget to reply to—but you showed up, because that’s what you did. You juggled deadlines and grocery lists and bedtime routines, and you showed up.

Sliding into one of the chairs near the back of the classroom, you pulled out your notebook, half-listening as the teacher welcomed everyone and started discussing upcoming class activities. The words blurred a little, your mind already jumping to your to-do list for the rest of the day—until a familiar voice cut through the hum of conversation beside you.

“Didn’t peg you for the back-row type.”

Your head turned sharply.

Harry.

Seated next to you, clad in a well-fitted jacket over a soft-looking jumper, casually sprawled in his chair like he wasn’t completely throwing off your focus. His green eyes flickered with amusement as he drummed his fingers lightly against the desk.

You blinked, momentarily thrown. “I—what?”

His lips twitched. “Back row. Feels like the kind of seat you pick if you’re planning to sneak out early.”

You huffed a quiet laugh. “Right, because I’m clearly a rebel parent.”

Harry smirked, but before he could respond, the teacher started explaining the logistics of an upcoming field trip, and the room quieted.

You tried to focus—you really did—but awareness prickled at you, your body attuned to the fact that Harry was right next to you.

It didn’t help that every now and then, you’d catch him glancing your way when the teacher said something mildly ridiculous, his expression just amused enough to make it harder to keep a straight face.

Or that when the topic of chaperones came up, Theo’s name was read out right before Lily’s, the realization settling between you with an unspoken of course they’re in the same class.

And maybe—just maybe—you didn’t miss the way Harry muttered a quiet figures under his breath, a slight shake of his head that made you bite back a smile.

By the time the meeting wrapped up, the teacher dismissing everyone with a reminder to sign up for volunteer slots, you were already gathering your things, ready to slip out—when Harry turned to you.

“Fancy a coffee?”

You froze for half a second.

It was a simple question. Harmless. A casual offer between two parents who, apparently, kept running into each other.

But something about the way he said it—the way his voice dipped just slightly, the way his eyes stayed steady on yours—made it feel less casual.

You hesitated.

And Harry, ever perceptive, caught it immediately. His posture shifted, something careful settling into his expression, like he wasn’t quite sure whether to push or back off.

“I mean,” he added, lightening his tone, “it’s just down the road. No pressure. Could be a good excuse to talk about how we’ve accidentally ended up with kids who seem hell-bent on becoming best friends.”

You swallowed, gripping the strap of your bag a little tighter.

It was tempting. So tempting.

And maybe, once upon a time, you wouldn’t have thought twice about saying yes.

But you weren’t that person anymore. You’d learned to be cautious. To tread carefully when it came to things that had the potential to turn into more than just casual conversation.

And Harry—whether he realized it or not—felt like exactly that kind of thing.

So you smiled, polite but firm. “I appreciate the offer, but I should really get back to work.”

Harry didn’t miss a beat. Didn’t let disappointment show, though something unreadable flickered in his gaze before he nodded, easy and unbothered. “Fair enough. Another time, maybe.”

You hummed, noncommittal.

But as you turned to leave, your heart did this stupid, traitorous thing—this little lurch in your chest—because something in you already knew that this wouldn’t be the last time.

And, of course, you were right.

Because one week later, you were standing on the pavement, clutching Lily’s small hand, rain drenching through your coat as you tried—and failed—not to look as exhausted as you felt.

It had been a long day.

A really long day.

Your babysitter had canceled last minute, leaving you with no choice but to bring Lily along to your late-afternoon client meeting. She’d been good—so good—sitting quietly at the café table, coloring in the pages of her book while you discussed article revisions and deadline extensions. But by the time you stepped out into the dimly lit street, the sky had split open, rain coming down in relentless sheets, and you were both soaked before you even had the chance to open your umbrella.

You exhaled, pressing your palm against your forehead as you attempted to flag down a taxi. No luck.

“Mummy,” Lily whined, shivering beside you. “I’m cold.”

Your heart clenched. “I know, baby. I’m trying—”

A honk cut through the downpour.

You turned toward the sound just as a familiar black Range Rover slowed beside you, the driver’s window rolling down.

Harry.

His curls were a little messy, his face dimly lit by the dashboard lights, one hand gripping the steering wheel as he leaned slightly toward the open window. His brows knitted together the second he took you in.

“Are you seriously walking home in this?”

You blinked against the rain. “I don’t exactly have a choice, Harry.”

He scoffed, already reaching for the unlock button. “Get in.”

You hesitated.

Not because you didn’t want to—you were cold and exhausted, and Lily was on the verge of full-body shivers—but because the last thing you needed was to owe someone anything. To let someone in, even if only for a car ride home.

Harry must have noticed the reluctance on your face because his tone softened. “Come on. No agenda. Just two parents helping each other out.”

Before you could argue, the back door swung open.

“Mummy! Theo’s in here!” Lily’s delighted voice rang out, already scrambling into the seat beside him.

You turned sharply—traitor!—but Lily was grinning, the excitement of seeing her new best friend completely overriding any of your hesitation.

You sighed, defeated. “Guess we’re getting in the car.”

Harry smirked. “Guess you are.”

You climbed into the passenger seat, the warmth of the car immediately soothing your frozen limbs. Your coat dripped against the leather as you fastened your seatbelt, and when Harry reached into the back and wordlessly handed you a hoodie—probably Theo’s again—you swallowed past the tightness in your throat before accepting it.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.” He shifted the car into drive, glancing in the rearview mirror where the kids were already chatting excitedly. “Where to?”

You gave him your address, and he repeated it under his breath like he was committing it to memory.

The hum of the car filled the space between you for a moment, the rain drumming against the windshield. You were suddenly aware of how quiet it was in the front seat—how the easy banter you’d shared before wasn’t there now, replaced by something heavier.

“Long day?” Harry finally asked, his voice softer than before.

You exhaled. “You could say that.”

“I get it,” he murmured. “Some days just feel impossible.”

You turned to look at him, but his eyes stayed on the road, his fingers flexing against the steering wheel.

It would have been easy to nod and leave it at that.

But something about the way he said it—like he really did get it—made the words slip out before you could stop them.

“My babysitter bailed last minute,” you admitted. “Had to bring Lily to work with me. I know she didn’t mind, but it’s just… a lot, sometimes.”

Harry’s fingers tapped lightly against the wheel. “Yeah. I know what you mean.”

A beat of silence.

Then—

“It’s just you and Lily, then?”

You hesitated. Not because it was a secret, but because it was one of those questions that carried weight, even if it was asked casually.

“Yeah,” you said finally. “Just us.”

Another pause. Then, quietly—

“Same. Just me and Theo.”

You glanced at him.

There was something different in his voice now, something laced with memory, something personal.

“What happened?” you asked gently.

He inhaled, long and slow. When he spoke, his voice was even, but you could hear the emotion beneath it.

“My wife—Theo’s mum—passed away a few years ago.”

Your chest tightened. “Harry, I—”

“You don’t have to say you’re sorry.” He exhaled, shaking his head slightly. “It was… unexpected. One day we were planning holidays, the next, I was trying to figure out how to be a single dad.”

Your fingers curled into the sleeves of the hoodie.

You weren’t sure why, but something about hearing him say it—acknowledging it so openly, without dramatics, without self-pity—hit you harder than you expected.

“I left,” you admitted softly.

Harry turned, brow furrowing. “Left?”

You swallowed. “Lily’s dad. I left him.”

Understanding flickered in his gaze, but he didn’t say anything. Just waited.

You let out a slow breath, focusing on the rain streaking against the glass. “It wasn’t… good. I knew if I stayed, it would only get worse. So I left.” A pause. “For her. For Lily.”

Harry didn’t ask for details. Didn’t push.

He just nodded, like that was enough. Like he understood more than he was saying.

The air in the car was heavier now, but not uncomfortable. It wasn’t pity, wasn’t awkward sympathy. It was just two people, two parents, who had both lost something. Who were still finding their way forward.

When the car finally pulled up in front of your building, you turned to him, fingers hovering over the door handle.

“Thank you,” you said, meaning it more than you expected.

Harry met your gaze, something steady and unreadable in his expression. “Anytime.”

And as you climbed out, leading Lily inside, you realized that maybe—just maybe—this wasn’t the last time, either.

And again, you were right.

Because the universe—or fate, or whatever force kept weaving Harry into your life—wasn’t quite done with you yet.

It started as a normal evening. A school event—one of those midwinter, PTA-sponsored gatherings where the kids were running on pure sugar-fueled excitement, and the parents were running on nothing but caffeine and obligation.

You had barely stepped inside the decorated gymnasium when Lily had spotted Theo, the two of them taking off toward the craft station without so much as a backward glance.

“Yeah, sure, don’t say goodbye,” you muttered, exhaling as you peeled off your coat and shoved your gloves into your bag.

“You get used to it.”

Your stomach dipped at the sound of his voice.

You turned to find Harry standing beside you, shaking snow out of his curls, his jacket dusted with white. He looked unfairly good for someone who had just come in from the cold—cheeks flushed, green eyes bright with amusement as he nodded toward the kids.

“First time they ditch you, it stings,” he continued, smirking. “By the hundredth time, you stop taking it personally.”

You huffed a laugh, rolling your eyes. “Good to know.”

For a while, the event played out exactly as expected—parents milling around making polite small talk, kids crafting messy holiday decorations that would inevitably end up forgotten at the bottom of their backpacks.

You kept an eye on Lily, but she and Theo were perfectly entertained, alternating between cookie decorating and attempting to build a fort out of the chairs in the corner of the room.

And then, just as you were considering sneaking off to the refreshment table for a refill on your coffee, the first announcement crackled through the speaker system.

A snowstorm.

A bad one.

Roads already piling up, traffic at a standstill. Everyone advised to stay put until further notice.

A slow, collective groan moved through the crowd.

You exhaled sharply, rubbing your fingers over your temples.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Beside you, Harry let out a low whistle. “Guess we’re stuck here for a while.”

You turned to him, narrowing your eyes. “You sound entirely too relaxed about this.”

He smirked. “Because I’ve accepted my fate.” He nodded toward Theo and Lily, who were thriving in the chaos, currently attempting to organize some kind of group game. “They, on the other hand, are living their best lives.”

You sighed, watching as Lily excitedly gestured for Theo to follow her to the makeshift play area.

“Traitor,” you muttered under your breath.

Harry chuckled. “Come on,” he said, nodding toward an empty classroom that had been opened up as an extra seating area. “Might as well find somewhere to sit before we’re reduced to standing in the hallway.”

You followed him, grateful for the momentary escape from the crowded gym.

The classroom was small, with a handful of desks pushed against the walls. Harry dropped into one of the chairs, stretching his legs out in front of him, while you settled into the seat beside him, cradling your coffee cup between your palms.

For a moment, there was nothing but the muffled sound of voices from the hallway, the occasional scrape of a chair from another room.

And then—

“So,” Harry mused, glancing sideways at you. “On a scale from mild to intervention-level dependency, how bad is your caffeine addiction?”

You blinked at him. “Excuse me?”

He nodded toward your cup, smirking. “That’s, what, your third coffee tonight?”

You scoffed. “Second, actually. And I’ll have you know that my caffeine intake is perfectly normal.”

He hummed, unconvinced. “Sure.”

You narrowed your eyes. “I bet you have a thing too, don’t you?”

His brows raised. “A thing?”

“Yes. Some habit or vice you’re embarrassingly reliant on.” You smirked. “Let me guess—you’re a late-night snacker.”

Harry scoffed, shaking his head. “Not even close.”

You tapped your chin, pretending to consider. “Okay. Chronic over-user of pet names?”

His lips twitched. “I mean, love, I do have a tendency—”

You groaned. “Oh, that checks out.”

Harry grinned, his dimples deepening. “You got me.”

For a moment, the conversation settled into something easy, the banter light, playful. And you—despite the exhaustion, despite the long night ahead—felt…

Good.

Harry shifted slightly, watching you. “You’re smiling.”

Your brows furrowed. “I am?”

“Yeah,” he murmured, his voice quieter now. “It’s nice.”

And that—that small, simple sentence—made something tighten in your chest.

Because Harry wasn’t flirting. He wasn’t teasing.

He was just… noticing.

And for the first time in a long time, you felt truly seen.

You cleared your throat, looking away, focusing on the rim of your cup. “Don’t get used to it.”

Harry chuckled, but didn’t press.

You sat there for a little while longer, the room quieter than the ones beyond it, but filled with something else.

Something unspoken.

Something that felt an awful lot like anticipation.

That’s what had been simmering under the surface ever since that snowed-in night at the school.

You told yourself it was nothing—that it was just the circumstances, the way you’d both been forced into conversation, the way time had slowed just enough for you to forget that Harry Styles was not supposed to be part of your life in any meaningful way.

But then came Saturday.

And Saturday ruined everything.

It had been Lily’s idea to go to the bookstore café, but you didn’t exactly fight her on it.

You could pretend all you wanted, but the truth was, you liked it there. The smell of coffee, the cozy chairs tucked between shelves, the soft murmur of people flipping through books—it was one of the few places in the city where your brain actually slowed down for a moment.

So, you’d packed up your laptop, bundled Lily in her coat, and headed down the familiar street, telling yourself that Harry might not even be working today. That it wouldn’t mean anything if you ran into him.

And then you walked inside, and he was right there.

Behind the counter, sleeves pushed up to his elbows, laughing at something one of his employees had said before turning at just the right moment—seeing you.

His eyes brightened. “Look who it is.”

Your stomach flipped. Stupid. Completely ridiculous.

“Hi, Harry.” You cleared your throat, pushing past the way his smile made your chest feel tight. “Busy today?”

“Not too bad.” He leaned against the counter. “Here for your fix?”

You scoffed, already setting your bag down on the edge. “I’ll have you know I went an entire day without coffee yesterday.”

Harry placed a hand over his heart, mock-surprised. “I don’t believe you.”

You rolled your eyes, but Lily was less focused on your caffeine consumption and more on the glass case filled with pastries.

Harry caught her staring, smirking. “Hungry, love?”

She nodded enthusiastically.

“Well, lucky for you, I’ve got some fresh croissants that need a home.” He grabbed a plate and slid two onto it before adding, “On the house.”

You immediately shook your head. “Harry, you don’t have to—”

“I want to,” he said simply, then met your gaze. “Stay. Sit down for a bit.”

It wasn’t a request. It wasn’t loaded with anything, wasn’t flirtatious or heavy.

It was just… easy.

So you stayed.

You found a table near the window, sipping your coffee while Lily and Theo—who had conveniently appeared out of nowhere—settled on the floor nearby with a pile of books between them.

And somehow, Harry ended up in the chair across from you.

It wasn’t intentional. At least, you told yourself it wasn’t.

It was just conversation—banter, sarcasm, Lily’s constant interruptions to tell you random facts about the book she was reading.

And then… it wasn’t.

Because at some point, the edges of the conversation softened.

At some point, you started talking about things that weren’t just surface-level.

At some point, he told you about the bookstore—how it had started as a risk, how he wasn’t sure if it would work, but he’d wanted Theo to have a place to grow up around stories.

And at some point, you found yourself telling him about your writing, about the way you’d stumbled into freelancing after leaving your old life behind, about how sometimes, you missed the structure of an office, but mostly, you liked this. The freedom. The control over your own world.

Harry had listened.

Really listened.

And then he’d said something—something about how he admired that, about how he could see how much you’d built for yourself.

And that’s when it happened.

That’s when you realized.

This feels like a date.

The realization hit like a punch to the ribs.

Because it wasn’t a date. It couldn’t be.

You weren’t dating. You weren’t even thinking about dating. That wasn’t part of your life anymore, wasn’t something you could afford to let yourself want.

And yet—

You were sitting across from a man who made you feel like maybe it was.

A man who made it easy. Who made you laugh, who made you forget to keep your guard up, who looked at you in a way that made you feel like more than just a tired mother balancing a thousand things at once.

And that—that—was terrifying.

So, before he could say anything else, before you could let yourself sit in the moment for even a second longer, you panicked.

You shot up from your chair so fast Harry’s brows furrowed.

“I should go,” you blurted, already reaching for your bag.

Harry blinked. “What?”

You forced a smile. “I just—Lily has a lot of homework, and I need to—”

Harry wasn’t stupid.

You could see the confusion in his expression, the way his body tensed just slightly, the way his fingers curled around his mug like he was trying to figure out where the shift had happened.

But he didn’t push.

He just nodded, slow and careful, like he was trying to let you run if you needed to.

Lily pouted as you grabbed her hand, but she didn’t argue.

Harry said goodbye to her, ruffled Theo’s hair, then glanced back at you just once before you pushed open the door and stepped out into the cold.

And as you walked away—your heart pounding, your hands trembling—you told yourself you’d done the right thing.

You told yourself that leaving was better.

That letting him get too close would only make things harder.

You told yourself all of that.

And yet—

It didn’t stop you from feeling like you’d just made a mistake.

In fact, it only made it worse.

The whole way home, Lily kept glancing up at you, brows furrowed in confusion, like she knew something had happened but couldn’t quite figure out what. And the next morning, when she asked if you were going back to the bookstore soon, you’d mumbled something noncommittal, changed the subject, and buried yourself in work.

For days, you convinced yourself you’d done the right thing. That putting space between you and Harry was necessary. That whatever this strange, unexpected thing was between you—it wasn’t real.

But while you were busy trying to ignore it, two small, scheming masterminds were doing the exact opposite.

“I think my dad likes your mum.”

Theo’s voice was quiet, but not that quiet.

Lily, crouched beside him under the slide at the park, frowned. “I know.”

Theo blinked. “You do?”

Lily gave him a look, as if obviously. “He always smiles when she’s around. And he looks at her like my teacher looks at her coffee.”

Theo squinted. “Like he needs her?”

“Exactly.”

Theo leaned back, lips pursed in thought. “Well, that’s a problem.”

Lily nodded gravely. “Because my mum likes your dad, too.”

Theo’s eyes widened. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Lily huffed, crossing her arms. “But she’s scared.”

Theo considered this, chewing on his lip. Then, slowly, a smirk stretched across his face.

“Well, that just means we have to fix it.”

Lily narrowed her eyes. “How?”

Theo grinned. “Leave that to me.”

You should have known something was up when Lily had asked—too sweetly—if you wanted to take her to the park that weekend.

You should have been suspicious when she mentioned, offhandedly, that Theo had told her he and Harry were going to be there at the same time.

But you—naive, unsuspecting, and still drowning in your own avoidance—had just gone along with it.

Which was exactly how you ended up here.

Standing at the edge of the field, watching as Theo and Lily cackled like tiny villains, while Harry—completely unaware of their plot—ran around playing soccer with them.

And you?

You were helpless.

Because, despite everything, despite every wall you had thrown up, despite every reason you had to keep your distance—you couldn’t look away.

Harry looked happy.

Really, truly happy.

His dimples were deep, his laughter loud and unrestrained. His curls were a mess from the wind, cheeks flushed from the cold, eyes crinkling at the corners as he dodged Theo’s attempt to steal the ball.

And Lily?

She looked just as free.

She wasn’t shy, wasn’t hesitating—she was grinning, giggling so hard that she tripped, falling right into Harry’s arms as he caught her mid-stumble.

And that—that moment—was what did it.

Because when Harry steadied her, ruffling her hair before sending her off again, you felt something click.

Something shift.

And suddenly, the thought you had been pushing away for weeks broke through like a crack in the dam, relentless and impossible to ignore.

This could be something.

Something good. Something real. Something you weren’t sure you were ready for—but something you didn’t want to run from anymore.

Because, maybe…

Maybe it wasn’t just serendipity.

Maybe it was something that was supposed to happen all along.

That thought followed you home. It followed you through dinner, through Lily’s animated retelling of her very official soccer victory, through the quiet moments when she was curled up in bed, her breathing slow and even.

And it followed you long after that, settling in your chest, stubborn and impossible to ignore.

Because you knew what you had to do.

So, the next afternoon, after too much pacing and too much overthinking, you found yourself standing outside the bookstore café, heart hammering as you pushed open the door.

Harry was behind the counter, sleeves rolled up, a pencil tucked behind his ear as he scanned the inventory list in front of him. He looked focused, but the second he glanced up and saw you, something flickered across his face—something cautious.

You swallowed. Right. You did that.

Taking a breath, you stepped forward. “Can we talk?”

He set the clipboard down, wiping his hands on a cloth before nodding toward the back. “Come on.”

You followed him past the bookshelves, through a small hallway that led to a quieter seating area. It was dimly lit, quieter than the front of the shop, and suddenly, this felt very real.

Harry turned to you, arms crossed, waiting.

You exhaled. “I—I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

His brows furrowed slightly, but he didn’t interrupt.

You forced yourself to meet his gaze. “For running. For… whatever that was.” You sighed, rubbing your hands over your jeans. “I got scared.”

His expression didn’t change, but something in his posture shifted. A quiet understanding settling between you.

“I get it,” he said finally. “But I need to know where your head is at, Y/N.” His voice was even, steady. “Because I don’t do games. I don’t do halfway.”

You swallowed, throat tight.

“I know.”

He stepped closer, eyes never leaving yours. “So, what do you want?”

You hesitated, heart pounding.

But then, you thought about Lily—your Lily. Thought about how effortlessly she had let Theo in, how much brighter she had been since meeting him.

And then, you thought about yourself.

About the way Harry made you laugh. About the way he looked at you—like you weren’t just a mother, just a woman who had learned how to live cautiously, but someone he saw.

And suddenly, the answer wasn’t scary anymore.

“I want to try,” you whispered.

Harry’s shoulders relaxed. His jaw unclenched. And then, slowly, carefully, he stepped forward.

His fingers reached out, brushing a damp strand of hair from your face. “Yeah?”

You nodded, exhaling shakily. “Yeah.”

His lips quirked, but he didn’t say anything.

He just leaned in.

The kiss was soft.

Lingering.

Like it was meant to happen.

And maybe…

Maybe it was.

Maybe it had always been leading to this. To a quiet evening, to wine and laughter and the slow, inevitable pull of something neither of you could ignore any longer.

You weren’t supposed to end up at Harry’s place that night. It had started with dinner—just a casual thing, an unspoken agreement that whatever was growing between you should have space to exist outside of fleeting moments and bookstore conversations.

The kids had been there, of course. It wasn’t a date. It wasn’t something you had planned.

But it had felt easy.

Effortless, even.

Like the four of you were already slipping into place, like Theo rolling his eyes at Lily’s terrible knock-knock jokes was as natural as Harry stealing a bite of food off your plate, smirking when you swatted at him.

And then, somehow, it had stretched later than expected.

The kids had curled up on the couch, movie playing softly in the background, their laughter slowly fading into soft, steady breaths.

And then—

Then it was just you and Harry.

Alone.

A glass of wine, the fire crackling softly in the background.

Your legs tucked under you as you sat on the couch, warmth settling in your limbs—not just from the wine, but from this. From him.

Harry leaned back, fingers tapping against his glass. “So.”

You raised a brow. “So?”

He smirked. “Are we still pretending this isn’t happening?”

Your breath hitched.

Because this.

This was happening.

The easy way he watched you. The way your body tilted toward him without thinking. The way you felt calm here, in his space, in this moment.

You exhaled, heart hammering as you set your wine down.

“I don’t want to pretend,” you admitted.

Harry studied you for a long moment. Then, slowly, he set his glass aside, shifting closer.

And when he leaned in—when he brushed his lips against yours, just barely, just enough to give you a chance to stop this—you didn’t.

You pressed closer.

And finally, finally, you let yourself fall.

Right into him. Right into the warmth of his hands, the steady press of his mouth, the way he didn’t hesitate when you kissed him back.

It was slow at first, unhurried and exploratory, like you were both learning something new—even though this had been building for months. Even though the tension between you had been simmering, bubbling over in every stolen glance, every playful smirk, every time he looked at you like he knew exactly what you were trying to hide.

And now, you weren’t hiding anymore.

His hands found your waist, fingers curling into the fabric of your sweater, dragging you in until you were flush against him. He was so warm, the solid weight of his chest pressing into yours, his scent intoxicating—something woody, something clean, something completely Harry.

You let out a soft gasp when he tilted his head, deepening the kiss, his tongue brushing over yours in a slow, teasing stroke.

That sound—it did something to him.

Because suddenly, his grip tightened.

And then, you were moving.

He guided you backward until your lower back hit the edge of the kitchen counter. You barely had time to process the cool surface against your skin before his hands were everywhere—sliding beneath your sweater, mapping the curves of your waist, the dip of your spine, his fingers pressing just firmly enough to make you arch into him.

“Harry—”

He groaned at the way you said his name, his lips never leaving yours as he lifted you onto the counter, spreading your thighs as he stepped between them.

And that was it.

That was the moment everything tipped over the edge.

Because then, Harry was everywhere.

His mouth was hot and insistent against your neck, dragging down, pressing open-mouthed kisses to your collarbone, nipping at your skin just enough to make you whimper.

“Been thinking about this for so long,” he murmured against your throat, his voice thick, husky, wrecked.

Your breath hitched. “Me too.”

He pulled back just enough to meet your gaze. His eyes were dark, blown-out, his chest rising and falling as he scanned your face. Checking. Waiting.

You exhaled, chest tight, lips swollen from his kisses.

“I want this, Harry.” Your voice was quiet but firm. “I want you.”

Something in him snapped.

And then, he gave you exactly what you asked for.

And then, he gave you exactly what you asked for.

But not in the way you expected.

Because for all the urgency—the heat, the months of unresolved tension stretching between you—Harry didn’t rush.

He kissed you slowly, deliberately, his hands steady as they traced the outline of your body, as if he were memorizing you. Like he wanted to savor every second.

And when he finally lifted you into his arms, carrying you effortlessly through the dimly lit hallway, you didn’t protest. Didn’t question it.

You just let yourself be his.

The bedroom was dark, moonlight pooling in through the window, the sheets cool against your back when he laid you down.

And for a moment—just a moment—Harry didn’t move.

He just looked at you.

His green eyes flickered over your face, your parted lips, the way your chest rose and fell beneath him. His fingers skimmed up your thigh, teasing, light enough to make you shiver, before he leaned down, his lips hovering just over yours.

"You’re beautiful," he murmured. "You know that, right?"

Your breath caught.

Because it wasn’t a line.

He wasn’t trying to seduce you. He wasn’t saying it just to say it.

He meant it.

And you could feel yourself unraveling beneath him.

"Harry—"

But your words cut off when he kissed you again, deeper this time, his fingers slipping beneath the hem of your sweater, tugging it up, peeling it off with aching slowness.

His hands traced over your bare skin, up your ribcage, over the dip of your waist. His touch was reverent, patient—like he wanted to learn every inch of you, every soft sound you made when he touched you just right.

Your hands were just as desperate, fingers threading into his curls, tugging lightly as you pressed up into him.

He groaned, breaking the kiss just long enough to yank off his own shirt, tossing it aside before meeting your gaze again.

You exhaled sharply, taking him in.

The tattoos you had only glimpsed before, now completely on display—the swallows over his chest, the butterfly below his ribs, the intricate designs that inked his arms, his stomach, his strong, solid frame.

And then, he kissed you again.

Slower this time. Deeper.

His mouth trailed lower, over your collarbone, down the valley between your breasts, his fingers working at the button of your jeans, slipping them down, kissing along every inch of newly exposed skin.

When his lips met the inside of your thigh, you gasped—gasped, because he was so close to where you needed him, but still taking his damn time.

"Harry—"

"Shh," he murmured, pressing a kiss higher, his stubble scratching deliciously against your sensitive skin. "Let me take my time with you, love."

And then, he did.

He kissed his way up your thighs, parting them further, his hands gripping your hips as his mouth finally—finally—pressed against you.

You gasped, back arching, fingers tangling into the sheets as he licked into you, slow and deliberate, like he was savoring every reaction, every sound that spilled from your lips.

"Fuck," you choked out, hips jerking involuntarily.

He hummed, the vibration sending another wave of pleasure through you as his tongue flicked exactly where you needed it, his hands holding you open, steadying you, grounding you.

And when he slipped a finger inside you—just one, at first, then another, curling them perfectly— you nearly came undone.

Your body tightened, the pleasure mounting too fast, too intense, and you could feel it—feel yourself teetering on the edge.

"That’s it," Harry murmured against you, his voice thick with lust and admiration. "Let go for me, love."

And you did.

Your orgasm ripped through you, waves of pleasure rolling through every inch of your body as your hips jerked against his mouth, his tongue not relenting—**not even for a second—**as he worked you through it, letting you fall apart completely.

By the time he finally pulled back, his lips were wet, his pupils blown, his expression completely wrecked.

"You taste fucking perfect," he rasped, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before leaning over you again, caging you in beneath him.

You were still shaking, still catching your breath, but you wanted more.

You needed more.

"Harry—"

He kissed you before you could finish, swallowing your words as he kicked off his jeans, rolling his hips against yours, letting you feel how hard he was for you.

And then, finally, he lined himself up, pausing—just for a second.

His forehead pressed against yours, his breathing uneven.

"You okay?" he murmured, voice ragged.

"Yes," you breathed. "I want you."

That was all he needed.

And then, he pushed inside you.

A broken sound tore from his throat the second he was buried in you—deep, slow, perfect.

And you—fuck, you felt everything.

The stretch, the fullness, the delicious ache of him sinking into you, inch by inch, until he was completely inside you.

"Fuck," he groaned, his jaw clenching, his hands gripping your hips so tightly.

He didn’t move at first. Just stayed there, letting you adjust, letting you feel him.

And then—

Then he pulled out, just enough before thrusting back in, deeper this time.

You gasped, fingers digging into his back, clinging to him.

It was slow at first. Deep and unhurried. Like he wanted to memorize you, like he wanted you to feel all of him.

But then—

Then you moaned his name.

And everything changed.

Harry growled, his grip tightening, his pace picking up, thrusting harder, faster, deeper.

"Fuck, Y/N—" His voice was wrecked, his body pressing you into the mattress, claiming you, ruining you.

And you—you didn’t care.

You wanted to be ruined.

You wanted all of him.

His hand slipped between you, fingers finding your clit, rubbing tight circles that sent shockwaves through you.

"You gonna come again for me, love?" he murmured, his lips brushing against your ear.

"Yes—Harry—fuck—"

"That’s it," he groaned. "Come for me."

And you did.

You shattered around him, your orgasm crashing over you like a tidal wave, your entire body trembling as he followed right after, burying himself deep, spilling inside you, groaning your name like a prayer.

For a long moment, the room was filled with nothing but harsh breathing, racing heartbeats, the aftermath of something that felt inevitable.

And then, Harry moved.

He didn’t pull away. Didn’t let you go.

He just wrapped himself around you, holding you close, pressing a kiss to your damp temple.

"Stay," he murmured, voice soft, tender.

And this time—

You didn’t run.

The smell of coffee woke you before the sunlight did.

Your body was aching in the best way, muscles deliciously sore, the sheets warm and soft against your skin. For a moment, you just laid there, blinking slowly, listening to the faint sounds of movement coming from beyond the bedroom door.

And then you realized.

You weren’t alone.

Not in the way you used to be.

Not in the way that had felt permanent for so long.

You exhaled, stretching slightly before sitting up, pulling the duvet tighter around you.

Harry’s shirt—which you had shamelessly stolen off the floor at some point during the night—hung loosely around your shoulders, smelling like him, feeling like him.

You pushed the bedroom door open quietly, stepping into the hall, and followed the sound of voices into the kitchen.

And the sight that greeted you?

It nearly knocked the breath from your lungs.

Harry stood at the stove, clad in nothing but a pair of low-hanging sweatpants, a spatula in one hand, a coffee cup in the other.

And he wasn’t alone.

Theo and Lily sat at the kitchen island, chattering away, their legs swinging as they watched him flip pancakes.

Theo snickered. “That one’s burnt.”

Harry scoffed, dramatically flipping it onto a plate. “It’s golden brown, thank you very much.”

Lily giggled. “Theo says you always burn the first one.”

Harry smirked. “Well, your mum distracted me.”

At that, you cleared your throat.

Three heads turned toward you in unison.

Theo and Lily grinned.

Harry’s eyes flickered over you—his shirt swallowing your frame, your bare legs peeking out from underneath.

And then, slowly, he smirked.

“What?” you asked, fighting back a smile.

His dimples deepened. “You like seeing me in dad mode?”

You rolled your eyes, stepping forward to grab a mug from the counter. “I think I just like seeing you.”

Harry stilled for half a second.

And then, with zero warning, he was behind you—wrapping his arms around your waist, pressing a slow, lingering kiss to the side of your neck.

Your breath hitched. “Harry—”

“Get used to it, love,” he murmured against your skin.

Your heart stumbled.

And suddenly, you knew.

This was real.

This was yours.

And for the first time in a long, long time…

You weren’t afraid.

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

Thank you so much for reading! I appreciate any support so remember to comment, reblog, & like ❤️‍🔥

taglist:

@oscahpastry

@mema10

@angelbabyyy99

@iloveharrystyles04

@cinemharry

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@panini

@mads3502

@imgonnadreamaboutthewayyoutaaaa

@one-sweet-gubler

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@jennovaaa

@angeldavis777

@prettygurl-2009

@almostcontentcreator

@run-for-the-hills

[lizsogolden]

The update we needed!!! Pls check this fic out!!! It’s so worth it!!

Worth the Fight: It’s Just Cake

Masterlist: Here

CW: Language, small-ish argument, pregnancy symptoms, one moment of slight jealousy and one tiny injury that sends Harry spiraling.

A/N: I spent a sold 36 hours debating on the outcome of this update and this just seemed to make the most sense so enjoy and sorry for any tears, hopefully they are happy ones?👀✨

Tag List: @kookjipao @msolbesg @lomlolivia @namoreno @outofthisworl-d @mema10 @watarmelon212 @natykn @sassamanda77 @st-ev-ie @ghayda0 @hannah9921 @indierockgirrl @chaoticthoughts2022 @lizsogolden @gmikaelson @styleswithaseaview @sofaritsalrightt @babegoals @fangirl509east @one-sweet-gubler @stylesftcher @umadirectioner @last-saturday-night @montgomery-929496 @laughterismytherapy @hisparentsgallerryy @jerseygirlinca @behindmygreyeyes @mads3502 @tpwkdpr @unfuckwitablenarry @itscoucouharry @latedirectionerera @ell0ra-br3kk3r @cumuluscranium

Summary: You see Harry three days in a row and you get a cake delivered ✨

“This one’s soft.” Harry just nods as he places a hand in on his hip while you give the pillow in front of you a good squeeze. “And very squishy.” You add and Harry doesn’t bother even responding because you’ve said the exact same thing about all the pregnancy pillows you’ve touched during the fifteen minutes the two of you have been in the store. So instead he just leans his back against the shelf and runs his hand through his hair while you move on to the next pillow that he’s sure will also be soft and squishy.

You look at the pillow in front of you and let out a sigh because you don’t really want one and you don’t think you need one right now but Harry swears your lack of support on your back and bump is why you’ve been having issues sleeping. Resulting in the two of you standing on the aisle that has all the pillows that help with sleep and breastfeeding in the boutique down the street from your work on your day off, the same one he saw you and Ethan in a few weeks ago. But instead of offering you his opinion on which pillow to get he’s been oddly quiet, keeping a safe distance from you and you wonder if he’s the one having issues sleeping due to his late nights with the girl Ethan told you he was seen with just last week.

“I read that one’s good.” You turn your head at the sound of his voice, it’s quiet and lower than normal as he points to the pillow currently in your hand. “Gives you back and belly support and it’s not massive like the others are and you already said it’s soft-”

“And squishy.”

“Yeah. So I say give that one a try and see how you like it? And if you hate it we return it and get another one.” He offers before he pulls his phone out of his pocket to check the time.

You just look back at the cream colored pillow in your hand and give it one more squeeze before deciding it’ll do and you’ll give it a try. When go to pull the pillow off the shelf you don’t even give it one tug before Harry’s ring clad hands are grabbing it for you and pulling it off the shelf in one quick movement. You can’t help but notice how effortlessly he tosses it into the cart you have next to you and you have to remind yourself it’s just a pillow not a heavy sack of potatoes when a small blush begins creeping onto your cheeks. You want to smack a hand over your face when you catch yourself staring at his arms that are being shown off by his tank top, something you’re extremely used to seeing him in since he normally stops by your apartment in the mornings after a run of before he’s due at the gym. But for some reason you feel like his black tank top and questionably short maroon running shorts are a bit more distracting today than usual.

“Did you hear me?” You jump slightly as Harry’s voice snaps you out of your daze making your eyes instantly connect with his instead of where they were just fixated on the muscles in his arm flexing as he grips the handle of the cart so he can push it for you.

“Sorry what-what did you say?” Harry looks at you with concern etched on his face as he gives you a quick once over. Your cheeks are red and your eyes have this glazed over appearance to them and you have a hand clutching at the pendant at the end of the chain you wear everyday while the other one is resting on your bump.

“Are you feeling okay?” He questions with a furrow in his brows as he notices the way you swallow thickly while briefly letting your eyes dart to his hand that’s wrapped around the handle of the cart.

“Uhm yes I’m totally fine why do you ask?” You ask as you do your best to appear as normal as possible, running a hand through your hair after you clear your throat and blink a few times before meeting his eyes once more so you can offer him a small smile. Acting as if he didn’t just catch you staring at his hand that has his signature initial rings snuggly tucked up against the knuckles of his pinky and ring finger.

“You just look a bit out of sorts that’s all.” He says making you let out a very forced laugh as you give him a shrug.

“I could say the same thing about you.” Harry raises a brow as you motion to his outfit causing him to look down to check himself out but when he doesn’t see anything out of place he looks back over at you just to find you’ve turned away from him and have begun walking down the aisle a few steps ahead of him.

“You’re sort of worrying-”

“I’m fine Harry really just got a bit of a hot flash that’s all.”

“A hot flash?” He doesn’t remember you telling him about hot flashes before so he feels a little confused as he pushes the cart a safe distance behind you so he doesn’t accidentally hit your ankles when you suddenly stop to look at something.

“Yeah a hot flash. I’ve had a few randomly but-oh look at these.” You try your best to distract him from your flustered state with a pair of tiny newborn sized socks. You grab them off the shelf and hold them in your hand as you turn to face him. “Look how small they are.” You mumble as you look down at them and run your thumb over the soft material.

“Do they need socks right out of the womb?” Harry asks as out of pure curiosity since he’s only seen babies in socks when they out of the house or in posed photos on people’s social media accounts.

“I think so because it’s nice and warm in here.” You tell him as you place a hand on your bump while the other holds the tiny socks out to him so he can get a better look at them. “So you want to try to make them all warm and cozy once they are out.” Harry just nods as he looks at the tiny pair of socks that fit in the palm of his hand and when you take a glance at him you can’t help but smile as he takes a moment to try to imagine one of the twins being big enough to wear the socks while also being tiny enough to fit both their feet in his hand.

“How can something be so small but also big at the same time?” It’s a thought he doesn’t mean to voice out loud but then again he doesn’t mind letting you hear his inner thoughts because you just take a step towards him so you can look at his hand that looks even larger than it normally does as it easily fits both socks in it.

“Considering right now they are only the size of bananas everything kinda seems big.” You begin to explain while Harry just stares at the socks. “But then when they actually get to wear the socks their feet will look so tiny in them.”

“Bananas? So you’re about-”

“Twenty weeks.”

“Which means we can-”

“Yup.” You finish for him since you already know what he’s going to ask. Harry stares at you as your hands fall to your bump while you rub your lips together as the two of you silently take a moment to sit with the knowledge that at your appointment with Dr. Andrews tomorrow you’ll be able to find out the genders of the babies you’re carrying.

“So did you-”

“Are you seeing someone?” Harry feels his body go stiff at your question that you all but shout at him as you begin to rub your bump, something you tend to do when trying to calm yourself down. You watch as the pair of socks fall out of Harry’s hand as he blinks at you a few times while opening and shutting his mouth as if he doesn’t know what to say and his mind and body are at odds with one another making him look like he’s struggling to make sense of what’s happening around him.

“I uhm don’t-what what exactly do you-uh I’m not no-no no I’m uhm not see-seeing anyone.” The way he fumbles through his answer makes you raise an eyebrow at him while he quickly bends down to pick up the dropped pair of socks so he can just toss them into the cart and worry about if you actually wanted to buy them later at the checkout since he’ll already have to argue with you about letting him pay for everything anyway.

“So the girl you were seen with in the green dress isn’t anyone?” You have no clue why you’re asking him these questions in the middle of a baby boutique but you’ve spent the past few nights wondering about it so you figure you might as well get it over with and see what he has to say for himself.

You continue to rub soothing circles over your bump as Harry stands there trying to figure out who exactly you’re referring to because his mind has all of a sudden become void of anyone he’s hung out with recently that wasn’t you or his mother. But when for the life of him he can’t recall anyone wearing a green dress he just lifts a shoulder up in a casual shrug and shakes his head.

“I don’t know who you’re talking about?” You let out a sigh as you roll your eyes, not at all shocked his memory is messing with him because that seems to happen anytime he meets a girl and has a decent time with them on a night out.

“Figures you can’t remember the girl you walked out of a club with the night you told me you had plans with your mom and that’s why you couldn’t come help me hang the curtains in the nursery.” Harry grips the handle of the cart with both hands as if it’s the only thing capable of keeping him steady as he’s hit the with memory of the night you’re referring to. “Must’ve been quite a night then.” It’s the casual tone of your voice that has Harry worried because it doesn’t at all match the look you’re giving him.

You’re eyes are slightly narrowed in a glare but there’s something hidden behind the glare that he can’t quite put a finger on, but he has a feeling it’s something along the lines of hurt or jealousy but he doesn’t see why’d you be jealous so he leans more towards you being hurt over the fact you think he lied to you.

“I did have plans with my mom we had dinner together.” He explains as you look away from him and towards the pregnancy pillow sitting in the cart. “And that girl she’s just a friend who needed a ride home-”

“And she couldn’t call an uber? She had to call you?” You know you sound like an untrusting girlfriend but you just blame your hormones making you feel as if he’s still keeping something from you.

“I was just trying to be a good friend. She doesn’t know a lot of people here she’s from New York and-”

“It honestly doesn’t matter I just don’t like feeling like I’ve been lied to that’s all.” You state deciding you don’t really want to hear anything else about the girl in the green dress. Harry gives you a small nod when you finally look back up at him, he doesn’t know why the idea of you thinking he lied to you makes his heart drop a bit.

“I understand and I’m sorry.” He doesn’t really know what he’s apologizing for but it just seems like something he needs to do in the moment, and honestly it’s something he’s becoming an expert at doing considering how many times he’s said those exact words since meeting you. “I hope you know I’d never lie to you. I may be an asshole but I’m not a liar.” You playfully roll your eyes as you look at him with a quirked brow.

“You don’t lie? Harry you told me I looked good in black and red polka dots last week.”

“And you did? You looked like a lady bug with your black leggings and polka dotted cardigan.”

“I looked like a bug? Bugs aren’t cute.”

“Lady bugs are cute.” You try to ignore the way your heart flutters at his roundabout way of calling you cute so you just let out a chuckle before turning around and heading down the aisle. “Besides there’s a clear difference between lying and just telling you something so you don’t get your feelings hurt.”

“So you’re saying I didn’t look good you just didn’t want to make me upset?” Harry wishes Niall was here to give him a smack upside the head as you pause and look at him over your shoulder. He rushes to shake his head no and push the cart further down the aisle towards where you’re standing near the end of it.

“No of course you looked cute-I mean good you looked good.” You place a hand over your mouth to stop your laugh from being heard throughout the store while Harry just glares at you as he realizes the trap he just walked into. “You’re in a mood today Cranky. Let’s hurry up and get this pillow so you can go take a nap.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help myself but a nap isn’t going to fix it but you know what might?” Harry doesn’t even have to think before he’s answering your question.

“A green juice with no carrots and extra apples?” The smile you give him makes his insides feel all warm and he has to stop himself from laughing at how you’re already licking your lips at the thought of your current favorite juice recipe.

“Exactly.”

“Can I ask who uh told you about me being out the other night?” He asks as you turn to go down another aisle, he has a strong feeling he knows who gave you the information but he just wants to hear it from your lips.

“Ethan.” Your voice sounds like you’re distracted and when Harry looks up he sees why, you’re standing there wrapped up in a fuzzy robe that’s about two sizes too big for you with a grin on your face as you let out a sigh of content. “I’d be able to snuggle both of them at the same time in this.” Harry watches in amusement as you grab two stuffed animals off the shelf in front of you next to the hanging robes and act out what it would be like holding two babies at the same time cuddled in the robe.

“You look ridiculous.”

“Oh you’re just mad I don’t want to snuggle you in this thing.” You snap making Harry have to look away when your eyes meet his, his cheeks and the back of his neck getting hot as he struggles to keep a stupid smile off his face.

“Didn’t you just have a hot flash? Should you even be wearing that right now?” He asks with a hint of worry in his voice making you roll your eyes as you put the stuffed animals in the cart so you can shrug off the fuzzy robe.

“Next time someone tells me how fun you are I’m going to tell them to have a baby or two with you and they’ll really see just how fun you can be.”

“Forgive me for caring about your wellbeing.”

“I don’t think I can because I really liked that robe.” Your eyes are a little big and your bottom lip is poked out a bit as your head tilts to the side giving the robe one last look as you hang it back up. Harry just lets out an annoyed sigh as you make your way down the aisle, an obvious stomp in your steps making him roll his eyes at your dramatics.

“Yeah you need a nap.” Is all he says as he grabs the hanger with the robe on it and tosses it in the cart on his way down the aisle where you’ve stopped to look at a set of onesies.

You can feel the anticipation building in the room as you and Harry stare at the white envelope sitting on your kitchen table. Having picked you up for your appointment before work he also took it upon himself to walk you back to your apartment where you informed him Dr. Andrews had given you the results of the gender scan you had done during the appointment since at the time neither of you felt ready to know quite yet or more so you just didn’t feel like crying in front of your doctor, again. But suddenly the idea of knowing if you’re carrying two boys or two girls or maybe one of each feels like something you desperately need and want to know so you asked Harry to stay a bit before running off to do whatever it is he does during the day.

“Will you open it?” You ask as you still stare at the envelope with the name Styles written on it while rubbing your hands over the soft material of the t shirt that’s currently covering your bump.

“Me?”

“No Harry the ghost standing behind you.”

“But this is a big deal I’m-I’m not properly dressed for-”

“Properly dressed? Harry you’re not opening the envelope that tells someone they just won a Grammy.”

“Well yeah this is way more important.” He states as he runs a hand through his hair before he turns his attention to you and he almost jumps back a bit when he sees how intensely you’re already staring at him. You don’t give him time to ask if you’re okay before you’re turning and heading into your kitchen for your water bottle you accidentally left on the counter due to rushing down to meet Harry in the parking lot so he wouldn’t be able to tell you that you were going to make the two of you late for your appointment when he helped you get into his passenger seat.

“You’ve done gender reveals before so just act like this is one of the times a fan asked you to read it on stage or something.” Harry rolls his eyes as his hands land on his hips while turning to look at you as you take a sip of water.

“This is different than opening a fan’s envelope this one is for my- sorry our babies so it’s a bit more intense.” You let out a sigh as you place your water bottle back on the counter and if Harry wasn’t on the verge of an anxiety attack he’d probably take a moment to appreciate how adorable you look when you’re throwing a tiny fit about not getting your way.

It’s something he’s witnessed a few times during his morning juice visits, the long exasperated sighs that come with a hand on the hip and a glare to whatever view of his head you have at the time. But what really gets him is when you sometimes rub your bump and lean down so you can whisper to it things about how he’s being a big meanie or something equally as silly and untrue. He imagines this is something you’ve always done, throw tiny fits when things aren’t going your way or you feel out of control and he can only assume your pregnancy hormones are just exasperating those emotions making you have at least one tiny tantrum a day.

“Would you open it if you weren’t in jeans and a t shirt?” Harry’s glare answers your question. “I mean you’re the one who said you aren’t properly dressed so I’m just asking if you’d open it dressed in a Gucci suit or is it just you don’t want to open it?”

“I mean of course I want to open it but I’m-I’m nervous. And I don’t even know why? It’s just a bloody envelope.” He mumbles and you get it, you understand how he’s feeling because it’s exactly why you can’t bring yourself to open it.

“Maybe someone else should open it for us?” You suggest making Harry rub his lips together as his eyes dart back to the envelope that’s now just mocking him as it sits there unbothered and unopened on your table. “Oh what about your mom? She could open it for us!” Harry looks over at you as you take a few steps so you’re back to standing next to him, your eyes glued on the envelope.

“You’d be okay with her knowing before us?” He feels the corners of his mouth pull up into a smile when you just shrug and nod your head.

“Of course and she’ll probably figure out a way to tell us that’s super cute and not just some words stuffed inside an envelope.” He can’t argue with you about that since he knows that exactly what his mother will do. He watches you reach over and grab the envelope and hold it out for him. “So just give it to her and let her do the rest. Only if she wants to though don’t make her feel forced to do this Harry or I’ll be very upset.” Your voice lets him know you’re not kidding about not forcing his mom into anything and he just has to laugh at you trying to be threatening while twenty weeks pregnant.

“Trust me she’ll be thrilled to be the one to tell us.” He informs you making you feel a little better about the whole thing once he gently takes the envelope from you so he can carefully place it in his back pocket. “Do you need anything before I go?” You just shake your head with a smile before he begins to turn and head towards your front door.

“Will I see you tomorrow?” Harry pauses as he reaches your front door and slowly turns around and raises a brow while looking down at the floor as he tries to think of his plans for tomorrow.

“I can come over if you need me-”

“You still haven’t hung up the curtains in the their nursery.”

“Oh shit that’s right.” He feels his face get hot as he realizes how long it’s been since he told you he’d do that for you. “Then yeah I’ll uhm see you tomorrow.” You give him a smile as he turns back towards the door so he can reach for the doorknob.

“Have a good day.” You half shout over your shoulder as you turn to head down the hallway to your room so you can start getting ready for work. Harry quickly lets go of the doorknob and lets out a sigh as he looks over his shoulder, of course you forgot he can’t lock the door when he leaves because he doesn’t have a key.

“You have to come-” He stops talking when he hears you muttering what sounds like some sort of curse word from the hallway making him chuckle and shake his head as he waits for you to reappear.

“Lock the door.” You finish for him with a groan as you walk back into the living room towards the front door where Harry is standing with a playful smirk on his face. “Sorry one day I’ll remember.” You reassure him but it doesn’t do much as he just rolls his eyes before opening your door and stepping out into the hallway.

“Have a good day at work and let me know how the pillow works tonight because if you still hate it we can return it tomorrow.” You just nod as Harry stands in your hallway just outside your door, the place you thought he’d be staying the whole duration of your pregnancy but to your surprise, his knowledge of how to make green juice and actively trying to do better has earned him access to the inside of your apartment.

“Have a good day Harry.” You say with a smile that he returns before he watches you close your door, waiting a few moments to make sure he hears the locking sound before he turns to head towards the elevator.

“Nice to see you’ve been promoted from hallway dad to inside the apartment dad.” Harry instantly feels a strong bubbling of annoyance in the pit of his chest as Ethan steps out of his front door just as Harry walks by.

“What’s your problem?” Harry asks as he stops heading towards the end of the hall and turns around so he can face your neighbor who also happens to be one of your bestfriends.

“What’s my problem? I think the real question is what’s your problem Harry?”

“I don’t have one but you seem to have this weird thing with me that makes you unable to stop yourself from being an asshole.”

“I mean you’d know all about being an asshole wouldn’t you?” Harry wants to wipe the smug looking smirk off his face but he knows that wouldn’t be the smartest thing to do because you’d hear it and come out and be upset and he also is very aware of who he is and can only image the issues he’d face if the press found out he hit someone in a random apartment complex’s hallway. So instead Harry goes for the jugular in a different way, one he knows will pack more of a punch than if he used his fists.

“You know Ethan for someone who claims to be such a good friend to her,” Harry motions towards your front door making Ethan quirk a brow at him as he crosses his arms over his chest. “You sure did cause some damage with the information you chose to share with her about me being seen with someone last week.” Ethan’s jaw clenches as he takes a step forward, his eyes set in a harsh glare aimed directly at Harry.

“You wanna know why I told her about you and the tacky green dress girl?” Harry ignores the comment about his friend’s dress and just shrugs as Ethan takes another step towards him, his hands now at his sides and his eyes still set in a glare. “Because she shouldn’t have to find out that sort of thing from a magazine cover or someone texting her the photos. I wanted her to find out from someone who cares about her who would be there to help her deal with the emotions that the knowledge of you going out and living your pretty boy pop star life while she feels unable to go out and do things because she’s pregnant would stir up.” Ethan’s voice is harsh as he stands right in front of Harry, staring right into his eyes.

“And guess what the only question is that she asked me after she told me some bullshit about how you’re allowed to be seen with whoever you want because you’re single.” Harry swallows as Ethan rolls his eyes when he talks about the excuse you gave him prior to asking him about the girl Harry was seen with.

“What did she ask you?” He has a feeling whatever Ethan is about to tell him is going to make him upset he just isn’t sure which type, anger or sadness.

“Was she pretty.” The harshness of Ethan’s voice is gone and Harry swears he almost sounds as if he’s holding back his emotions as he lets out a dark chuckle and shakes his head. “She wanted to know if the fucking girl you were seen with was pretty. What does that tell you Harry? Huh? What does that mean to you?”

“I don’t-I don’t know what it means.” There’s a thousand thoughts swirling around Harry’s head as Ethan looks at the floor and takes a few deep breaths to calm himself down before looking at Harry again.

“Let me fill you in on something pretty boy.” Ethan reaches over and places a hand on top of Harry’s shoulder only making him slightly nervous. “Just because you can’t remember the night you met doesn’t mean she can’t. She remembers meeting someone she thought liked her enough to give her his number and a promise of a call the next day. She remembers that same person telling her how much he liked her and couldn’t wait to see her again. And she also remembers the feeling of being ghosted by that same fucking guy but as fate would have it she has to end up being the one to text him to tell him she’s pregnant and here’s the real kick in the ass Harry you’re going to love this part.” Harry knows for a fact he isn’t going to like the next part because he knows what’s coming, he knows exactly what Ethan is going to say and he feels his heart drop to his feet.

“She remembers the feeling of him telling her he doesn’t remember meeting her. The guy she thought was so amazing and everything she’s looking for in someone she’d like to be with doesn’t fucking remember meeting her. So now she’s stuck feeling all these weird emotions because she really liked you Harry like really liked you and now you’re her baby daddy who sometimes is an asshole and is sometimes a nice guy that just doesn’t remember anything about her.” Ethan ends his rant with a not so soft pat to Harry’s shoulder before he takes a step to the side so he can go around Harry and head to the elevator.

“So next time you think I’m the asshole who doesn’t care about her remember I’m the one who’s been here for her since she came home drunk and on cloud nine the night you two met.” He adds from a few steps behind Harry, who can’t seem to get his feet to work as he stays standing in the exact same spot. Ethan takes his silence as a sign that maybe Harry is doing some deep thinking into how he hasn’t really thought about how you must feel dealing with him during all of this, and that’s just what Ethan wants, he wants Harry to realize how deeply effected you are by not only his words but his actions as well.

“Fuck.” Harry says with a groan as he runs both hands through his hair giving it a slight tug as he closes his eyes and does his best to get ahold of himself. When he opens his eyes he runs a hand over his face and turns to head towards the stairwell, deciding he doesn’t want to risk having to share an extremely awkward elevator ride with Ethan down to the lobby.

The only thing keeping Harry together is the envelope securely tucked into his back pocket and the fact he’s on his way to see his mom who although she can be meddlesome always has an open ear to listen to his problems and offer whatever advice she can. And in this case he knows what she’s going to say because it’s what she’s been saying to him since she found out he’s been going to your house every other day, he likes you and needs to just acknowledge it and either act upon it or move on. But for some reason he just never thinks he’s ready for either option so Harry just keeps doing what he’s doing, helping you with whatever you’ll allow him to and visiting you in the mornings so he can make your juice and get caught up on how you’re feeling. As he walks towards his car once he makes it down to the lobby and into the parking lot something inside of him switches letting him know he can’t keep going on like this, he needs to sit and think about his feelings towards you because clearly he’s hurting you and that’s the last thing he wants to do since he’s promised himself he’s done being an asshole.

“That’s not level.”

“What? Yes it is I have a level in my hand and it’s saying it’s perfect.”

“Then the level is lying to you because that rod is very much not level.”

“It’s lying to me? Really?” You cross your arms over your chest as you stand next to one of the cribs while Harry takes a few steps back so he can look at the curtain rod he just finished hanging above the window. He furrows his brows as he bites down on his bottom lip while his hands rest on his hips as he realizes the rod is hanging down a bit lower on the left side. “It’s not level.” He states followed by an annoyed sigh as he steps up on the step stool so he can undo the left side.

“Tell me when it’s level then will you?” He asks over his shoulder making you just nod as you take a small step backwards. He raises the rod up a tiny bit and when you don’t say anything he raises it up just a bit more causing you to squint your eyes as you try your hardest to tell if it’s level or not.

“I think that’s good.”

“You think?”

“It’s perfect. Totally level.” You correct yourself making him let out a huff before he secures the rod to the wall. Harry is stepping down off the step stool when he hears it, the faint sound of you saying “ouch” followed by a painful type of hissing noise.

Before you can even register what’s happening you feel Harry’s hands on you, turning you around from where you’re leaning over one of the cribs to grab the curtains for him to place on the rod he just put up. His hands are soft but his hold on your arms is firm but not too firm that you feel like he’s squeezing you as his wide panic stricken eyes quickly roam all over your face before he steps back only enough so he can look for any obvious source of pain or an injury of any kind. Once you realize what’s happening you decide to end his search and hold out your hand that has a few very small cuts on the knuckles of your index and middle finger where they somehow got caught between the crib and the zipper of your zip up hoodie when bending over resulting in the zipper scratching up your knuckles the tiniest bit.

“Does this happen a lot?” You can tell by his voice that Harry is panicking as he takes your hand in both of his so he can examine the damage done to your knuckles.

“Does what happen a lot?”

“Getting hurt on things like cribs and zippers?” He asks with furrowed brows as he ever so gently runs a thumb over your knuckles, just above the scrapes so he can see if they need anything other than just a bandaid.

“I mean I’m a little clumsy sometimes but no-”

“Clumsy? As in you fall a lot and run into things?”

“First off that’s not the definition of clumsy it actually means awkward in movement or in handling things or to do something without skill or elegance and difficult to handle.” Harry has to fight the urge to roll his eyes but instead he just focuses on how small your hand looks in his while he looks at the cuts on your knuckles that are already starting to form little bruises around them. “So when I tell you I’m clumsy it doesn’t mean I fall a lot it means I drop things every now and then.” You explain with a huff as you look down at your hand that Harry is examining as if it’s a priceless jewel that’s not to be handled with anything other than feather light touches and the occasional gentle rub of his thumb.

“So you don’t fall a lot then?” He asks while dropping one of his hands from yours so he can turn around and lead you out of the nursery. You don’t bother trying to fight him so you let out a sigh as you just let him lead you by the hand out of the room and down the hallway.

“Not really no.” You answer once the two of you are in the kitchen. Harry just nods as he pulls out a chair for you to sit in at the kitchen table, to his surprise you sit down without a word or a huff and he silently thanks you for letting him fuss over you with a small smile before he turns to head towards your small medicine cabinet you have next to your fridge.

“But what if you do fall one day and no one is here?”

“Uhm then I just get up and go on with my day? What kind of fall are-”

“I don’t like you being here alone when something could happen at anytime and I’m fifteen-twenty minutes away.” You feel your eyes go wide as Harry finally finds the box of Disney themed bandaids, pulling out one with Belle on it and finding it very fitting since you have a deep love of books as well.

“Harry I’ve lived alone for a very long time and been just fine.”

“Okay well that was before-”

“Before what?”

“You got pregnant with my twins.” His words make you sit back in the chair and blink a few times as he runs the hand that’s not holding your princess bandaid over his face. “I think I’m allowed to worry about you being alone a lot when you’re walking around with-with my whole world inside of your belly. Because what if next time something happens it’s not just a little cut on your hand? What if it’s serious and I can’t get here in time to help you?” Out of instinct you place your hands on top of your bump as he tells you exactly why this little scrape on your knuckles has caused such an intense reaction.

“I worry about you and just want to know you’re safe that’s all.” You feel a lump start to form in your throat as he lets out a shaky breath before he turns to look at you.

“I understand.” Your voice is strained as you try to swallow down the emotions that want so desperately to start bubbling over. “I just don’t know how to help you not be so worried.” You tell him truthfully, because at the moment you have no clue how to help ease his anxiety about you being alone if something happens.

“I take it you don’t fancy the idea of just moving-” A sudden knock makes both of your heads turn towards the front door. Harry takes the interruption to really think about what he was about to say to you, asking how you felt about moving in with him, even if he didn’t quite mean it as seriously as you might’ve taken it he was still only a few seconds away from letting the words fall from his mouth and that takes him by more of a surprise than the knock that stopped it from happening.

“Are you expecting someone?” Your voice takes him out of his brief moment of deep thought as you look away from the door and towards him with a raised brow.

“Me? This isn’t my house why would I be expecting someone?” You just shrug as you make a move to get up but are quickly stopped by Harry standing in front of you holding out the bandaid he picked, making a small smile appear on your face when you see it’s Belle from Beauty and the Beast.

“I’m not expecting anyone.” You state as you raise your hand for him so he can place the bandage on your scraped knuckles before turning and heading for your front door so he can answer it for you. He imagines whoever it is that’s expecting you will be quite shocked to find him on the other side of the door but that’s an issue he will deal with once he has to.

“Check the peephole before you open it Harry it could be a weirdo.” You call out to him as he gets closer to the front door causing him to roll his eyes before he leans in and looks out the tiny peephole on your door.

“There’s no one out there so maybe it was just a delivery?” You raise an eyebrow as you lean over a bit so you have a direct line of sight to your front door allowing you to watch Harry open it to reveal a white box with a pink and blue bow tied around it. “It’s a cake.” He says as he bends down to carefully pick up the box so he can bring it inside.

“A cake? I didn’t order a cake.” You begin to go through your memory of the last few days as Harry kicks your front door closed with his foot before walking back towards you in the kitchen with the box in his hands. “Did I order a cake in my sleep? No. No way I- I haven’t done that in months.” You mumble to yourself making Harry send you a questioning glance as he places the cake down on the table in front of you.

“You’ve ordered a cake in your sleep before?”

“Oh has Mr. Popular never ordered something while half asleep? I highly doubt that.” You tease as Harry reaches for the card that’s taped to the top of the box before sitting down in the chair next to you.

“It’s from my mom.” He says in a very confused voice but as he goes to read the rest of the card he sees your fingers grab the top of it yanking it out of his hands.

“God have some manners this is my cake so it’s my card so let me read it.”

“Uh it said to the lovely parents to be making it our cake and our card.”

“Why would she send a cake for both of us to my apartment?”

“Because she knows I was planning on hanging the curtains for you today.” He answers as he begins to undo the bow, careful not to ruin it because he has a feeling you’re going to want to keep it for sentimental reasons. While you read over the card he opens the box and as soon as he sees what’s written on the cake he feels his stomach do a weird flip.

“All it says is-Harry? What’s-”

“This isn’t just a cake.”

“What do you mean it’s not-oh my god.” Your words turn into a whisper as Harry turns the box towards you so you can read what the top of the cake says. His eyes watch your reaction closely as you bring the hand that’s not clutching the card up to cover your mouth.

“It says we’re having twins with three little dots at the end so that-” Harry swallows before he looks at the cake that you’re still staring at with wide eyes as your hand goes from covering your mouth up to your forehead as you begin to breathe a little heavier. “That means it’s going to tell us what we are having.” He finishes with a heavy sigh.

“Okay this is fine we will just act like it’s a normal cake and honestly this is great because at the end of the day we get to have cake and who doesn’t like cake?” Harry just goes along with your anxious rambling as you begin to fan yourself with the card while he stands up from his seat so he can carefully take the cake out of the box and place it down on the table.

“I’m gonna go grab uhm plates and a-a knife.” You don’t even bother nodding as you stare at the cake in front of you that somehow holds the answer to an extremely important question while Harry stumbles his way into your kitchen on the hunt for two plates and a knife. “Okay so how do you want to do this?” He asks once he’s back sitting next to you.

“Uh maybe I’ll cut it with my eyes closed and-”

“You want me to let you hold a knife with your eyes closed? After you already had to get a bandaid not even ten minutes ago?”

“Okay then just cut it a piece and put it on a plate.” You answer as you stop fanning yourself and place the card on the table next to the cake so you can reach over and hand Harry the knife.

He doesn’t think he’s ever felt this kind of anxiety before, and he knows it’s just the anticipation of finally finding out what you’re carrying but he can’t help how shaky his hand is as he holds the knife over the cake. He shoots you a look and when you just nod at him as you chew on your bottom lip he takes a deep breath and cuts into the cake. You feel like time moves in slow motion as Harry cuts a piece and puts it on the plate in front of you, both of you stare at it for a solid minute before you can process what exactly you’re looking at.

“That’s pink.” He whispers as you let out a sniffle while you nod your head.

“And blue.” You feel your eyes begin to burn as you look at the piece of white cake that’s been dyed blue for two layers and pink for the other two with a thin layer of vanilla icing in between each layer.

“A boy and-and a girl? We’re having a boy and a girl.” Harry’s voice is watery as he finally looks away from the cake and over to you and when your eyes meet it’s as if the flood gates open and the tears begin to roll down your face.

Before you can even make sense of what you’re doing you fling your arms around Harry and pull him into an awkwardly angled hug, but he doesn’t seem to mind as he wraps his arms around you in return. He tries to hold his emotions together but as soon as he feels you give him a squeeze he can’t help but let a few tears slip past his waterline. When you pull away a few moments later you grab Harry’s hands and place them on your bump, letting your hands loosely grip his wrists.

“Edward and Nora.” The grin that spreads across Harry’s face as you say the names the two of you agreed on last week makes your heart want to explode as you place your hands over his.

“Hello Edward James and Nora Anne Styles I’m-I’m your dad and I can’t wait to meet you.” He says with a smile as he leans down so he’s closer to your bump making a whole new wave of tears want to flow down your cheeks but you do your best to blink them away.

“I hope they have your eyes.”

“Yeah? Even though they’re big and dumb?”

“More importantly they’re green.” Harry laughs at your response as he rubs his thumbs over the soft material of your shirt that’s covering your bump. “Oh god where’s Paris? I need to tell him he’s going to have a brother and a sister.” You begin to look around the kitchen for any signs of the orange cat trying not to feel overwhelmed by how good and normal it feels having Harry rub and talk to your bump.

“I’ll go find him.” Harry says with a smile as he gives your bump one last gentle rub before you lift your hands off of his allowing him to get up from his seat. You give him a smile when he looks at you one more time before heading down the hallway to check your bedroom, but the moment he’s out of sight you let out a deep breath and try to get a firm grip on your emotions not wanting to let this moment cause you to slip into a dangerous line of thinking. The type that ends with you starting to envision Harry around all the time, doting on you like he did earlier with the bandaid and just being as normal as a couple the two of you could be. But you know for that to ever happen he’d have to actually have some sort of feelings for you and as far as you know he just sees you as someone who’s having his babies that he now can tolerate being around.

“Holy shit.” Harry mumbles as he runs a hand through his hair and takes a seat at the end of your bed. He takes a minute to think about everything that’s just happened in the last five minutes. A smile tugs at the corners of his lips as he finally starts to come to some sort of conclusion about how he feels about you. His moment of peace is short lived as he hears a bell jingle and soon feels the softness of fur rubbing at his ankles. “Can you keep a secret?” He asks the orange cat as he looks up at him from where he’s sitting next to Harry’s right ankle, his favorite one to snack on Harry has learned. When Paris just tilts his head Harry does something risky and bends down and gently picks him up but to his surprise Paris just nuzzles his head into the crook of Harry’s neck and starts purring.

“I think I have a crush on your mom.” He whispers to Paris who doesn’t do anything besides purr a little louder as Harry smiles and stands up so he can bring him to you. “Don’t tell her okay?” He adds in a hushed voice and when Paris just moves his head a bit to get comfortable Harry feels like he has finally done it, he has earned the trust of your very picky and very protective cat and takes that as a good sign that he’s made the right decision in acknowledging his feelings about you, now all he has to do is figure out how to tell you.

[lizsogolden]

Oh this is getting gooood!!!

favourite crime - part iv

part iv - doctor's note

“Are you sure I won’t be intruding?” Alena asked anxiously as she played with her fingers from the entryway of the kitchen where Anne and Gemma were shuffling around getting dinner ready. She’d offered to help half a dozen times but they’d waved her off every time so she had nothing to do but stand around, anxiously staring at the clock and waiting for the front door to open. 

“Sweetheart,” Anne sighed, shaking her head exasperated. “This house is as much yours as it is ours. Have we done something to make you feel otherwise?” 

Alena felt only a little sheepish at that but she didn’t get a chance to respond as the door finally opened and Harry walked in and Alena’s heart rate felt like it tripled. 

She froze in place, stiffening to stop herself from spinning and facing the man who haunted her dreams and was the bringer of all her nightmares. 

“Hiya, Mum, Gemma,” Harry called without looking up as he kicked his shoes off. “I brought a salad,” he said, voice getting closer. He trailed off when he saw Alena standing in front of him with her back to him, shoulders stiff. 

There was an awkward pause in the room as everyone waited to see what he would do. “Alena,” he nodded at her when she finally turned to look at him, eyes staring unblinking over his shoulder. 

“Harry,” she whispered back, turning back and moving further into the kitchen, trying to get as far away from him as possible. She was already wishing she had stayed at home. But Gemma had threatened to show up at her door if she didn’t show up on her own. 

Alena eyed the bottle of wine she’d brought with her and wished so badly she could have a drink right now. 

She sighed, wringing her hands together, and turning pleading eyes to Anne. “What can I do?” 

“Why don’t you set the table, dear?” she said, finally taking pity on Alena and giving her something to do. 

‘Thank you’, Alena mouthed, turning to the cabinet beneath the kitchen island where they stored their dinnerware.

She crouched down, opening the door and staring at the different types of china Anne had hoarded over the years. Alena took this as an opportunity to try and sort out her scattered thoughts, closing her eyes and taking a couple of deep breaths. 

When she opened her eyes, her heart had finally slowed down to its usual rhythm. She took one final deep breath, psyched herself up and grabbed a pile of matching dishes before moving to stand back up. It took her a second to regather and rebalance herself with her ever changing centre of gravity as her stomach continued to grow, but she managed it. She was getting good at rolling with the punches and the tilting world the universe threw her way. 

“Should you be carrying all that in your state?” Harry asked sharply, hovering over Lena as she turned around and found him standing behind her. 

“I’m fine.” Alena moved to step around him, the plates clinking in her arms as she moved. 

“Just give it here,” he insisted, sounding put out. 

“I didn’t ask for your help,” Alena replied, voice sharper than she’d intended. She instantly felt guilty, her eyes flitting to look at Anne who watched her in concern. The last thing Lena wanted to do was cause a scene at their family dinner, so she took a breath and forced herself to swallow the anger and hurt building in her throat. “But thank you,” she forced the words out. 

“Setting the table was always my job. Just give them to me and go do something else.” 

“I’m pregnant, Harry. Not disabled. I’m fi-ine. Oh,” Alena froze. 

“What? What happened?” Gemma rushed over, noticing the spooked look on Alena’s face. Harry had instantly grabbed the dishes out of her hands, moved across the room and placed them on the table before rushing back over to hover. 

“Nothing,” Lena whispered, voice a little choked up. “I just, I think I just felt her move for the first time,” she glanced up, eyes wet and a small smile quivering on her lips as she looked from Anne to Gemma and back again. 

Harry moved back, feeling like he was intruding on a moment he shouldn’t have been a part of and leaving his family to have their privacy, trying to make sense of the feelings building in his chest. 

-

Harry Styles paced in his living room as his thoughts kept drifting to Sunday night.

Dinner had been awkward at first and then everything had simmered down into a background discomfort as everyone ate and chatted while Alena and Harry pretended the other wasn’t there. 

But now it had been days and all he could think about was the look on everyone’s face when Alena had admitted she’d felt the baby move for the first time. The tears in her eyes and the looks of identical love on his mum’s and Gemma’s were burned into the backs of his eyelids. 

A baby girl. She was having a baby girl. 

And all Harry could think about was what if it was his? 

It had hit him at that moment, just how much he’d already missed. 

He’d never wanted to be a father, had never even imagined himself as one until he’d found out Alena was pregnant. And then he’d gone out Olivia and her kids for some ice cream after filming and all he could think was this was something he could be doing with his own kid in the future. 

His mind had been jumbled ever since with what if, what if, what if this baby was half him? 

And he was starting to think that maybe it - she- was his. 

Jeff had been avoiding all his probing questions, encouraging him to distance himself from his family until ‘they could sort things out’ and to ‘take out a restraining order’ against Alena. That he shouldn’t focus on anything but his career as it took off. But all Harry could think about was the little ultrasound pictures he couldn’t bring himself to throw away, sitting on the dresser in his bedroom.

He ran a hand through his hair as he replayed the dreams that had been haunting him for the last week. 

Images of curly hair, green eyes and dimples running around with toothless smiles as laughter filled his mothers house. 

A family. 

Something he’d never really imagined having beyond his mum and sister and friends. But then there was Alena. 

Harry didn’t know what to think. He didn’t know what to do. 

He pulled out his phone for the tenth time and opened Alena’s contact, looking at the unsent text burning through his screen. 

Can we talk?

Three words. He hated how cliche they were, but every time he’d erased them to type something else, nothing had felt right. 

He sighed, clicked his phone shut and threw it onto the coffee table. 

“What do I do?” he groaned into his hands, rubbing his eyes. “Everything is a mess.” 

Great, now he was talking to himself. 

He was at war with himself. He knew he was wrong. Knew he’d been an absolute twat but he’d been so shocked - so was Alena, his conscious whispered back. 

But he’d just not expected it - and neither had she, it continued. 

But Jeff had told him it wasn’t his and he’d never lied to Harry before - and Alena had?. 

But…but…but…

But there was no excuse for his behaviour. 

Harry deflated, collapsing on the couch and grabbing his phone and once more opening his texts. He hit send before he could talk himself out of it again and then spiralled into a million different thoughts as he waited for Alena’s reply. 

-

Alena had just walked out of another doctor's appointment with Gemma when her phone buzzed. 

She pulled it out, and did a double take at the name on the screen. 

“What is it?” Gemma asked when Alena froze, jaw slackened in the middle of the sidewalk. 

Alena turned her phone towards Gemma showing her the message on the screen. She made a face and scoffed. “What the hell does he want?” she rolled her eyes. “Bit late to be reaching out now.” 

Alena allowed a small smile to grace her lips, even as her insides twisted together at the words on her phone. 

Can we talk? 

“You don’t think he’s sent someone to spy on you, do you?” Gemma asked as they started walking again, the text remaining unanswered. 

Alena shrugged, “I can’t say the thought didn’t cross my mind,” she replied, forcing herself to remain unaffected. “It’s pretty suspicious timing.” 

“Yeah, but also kinda convenient?” Gemma posed it as a question. “‘Cause now you don’t have to contact him first.” 

“Yeah,” Alena agreed, a little part of the anxiety that had wrapped itself around her heart unraveling at the thought. “Yeah,” she said again, pulling her phone out of her pocket. “What should I say?” 

Gemma shrugged. “I don’t think I’m the best person to ask,” she admitted. “I’ve got a lot of pent up frustration towards Harry - not that you don’t,” she was quick to add. “But you’re a lot more patient with him than I am.” 

“I don’t know how true that is,” Alena said. “I had to do some pretty strong practiced breathing Sunday night.” 

Gemma snorted, “like I said, you’re a lot more patient than I am. I would have knocked his teeth out,” she made some mock fists with her arms. Alena laughed before the two of them sobered up and Gemma said, “I don’t know, Lena. Maybe just tell him the truth.”

“Ugh, can’t you just sneak into his house and steal his saliva for me?” Alena asked and this time Gemma was the one laughing. 

“Ew.” 

“Yeah, fair.” 

“Says the girl who swapped spit with him. Too soon?” she grinned when Alena grimaced. 

“When you say it like that it’s always too soon.” She took a breath. “Ok, fine. Wish me luck.”

They stopped under the shade of a tree, Alena’s heart pounding nervously as she typed out a response, hit send before she could overthink it and shoved her phone into Gemma’s hands. 

Yeah, let me know when you’re free. My doctor said we can do a prenatal paternity test before the baby is born.  

-

We can do a prenatal paternity test before the baby is born.  

Harry read the text over and over again, his heart pounding loudly and ears ringing. 

He didn’t know how to respond. 

Part of him was relieved that he’d finally have answers, but he was terrified of what those answers would mean for him. 

He typed and retyped and typed a text again before giving up and dialling Alena’s number. It would be easier to do this over the phone and it had been hours since Alena had replied to his  message.

“Harry?” she picked up, just as he was about to end the call. Her voice was soft and breathy and Harry felt a pang shoot through him as he remembered nights they’d spent together, whispering in the dark, under his bed sheets trying not to wake anyone while his mum and sister slept down the hall. 

“Lena,” he swallowed the tightness away in his chest. “I - uh - I was hoping we can organise when to catch up.” 

He made a fist and raised it to his forehead, hating how awkward things were between them now, and realising for the first time just how much he really missed her. It hit him like a truck, the yearning for things to be easy again between them. 

He really fucking missed his best friend. 

“Yeah, good idea,” she spoke, voice crackling down the speaker as he heard a car door open and close. “When are you free?” 

Harry ignored her, checking his wrist for the time and frowning. It was late. “Are you driving?” he asked instead. 

“Huh? Oh, yeah,” she answered, and he thought he could hear the car’s blinker in the background. “I’m heading home from the hospital.” 

“What? Why? Is everything ok? What’s wrong?” Harry rushed out the questions, sitting up straighter and getting ready to rush over to her apartment. 

“Yeah, fine. So, when are you free?” she asked, and Harry noticed she didn’t bother to share any details with him. He hated it. The realisation hit him then, regardless of everything else he still wanted her in his life. 

Alena continued, unaware of his sudden epiphany. “My doctor said all we need is a saliva sample and she gave me the kit. I already sent in my blood work so all we need is your DNA and then you’ll finally have answers.”  

“Alena, can we just,” he sighed a loud breath. “Can we just please talk for a minute?” 

“There’s nothing to talk about, Harry.” 

“There’s everything to talk about!” Harry insisted. “I miss you,” he admitted, wishing he could see her face. “Please.” 

He could hear her breathing loudly down the line and when she didn’t reply, he wished he could swallow those words back, save them for another time. He knew it wasn’t fair of him to drop that on her the way he did. “Sorry,” he finally broke the silence. “I shouldn’t have -” 

Alena cut him off. “I’ll leave the test kit in your mailbox,” she told him, voice cold. “It has an instruction sheet in it. When you’re done, give it Gemma and she’ll give it to me. Please don’t contact me until we have the results back. Bye, Harry.” 

And she didn't give him a chance to respond before she hung up. 

“Fuck!” he cursed, slumping back in his seat, feeling defeated but knowing it was what he deserved. 

-

I miss you.  

Alena was furious. How dare Harry. How dare he! 

What right did he have to say those words to her after everything he’d done and said over the last few months. 

She hated him. 

She sighed. She didn’t hate him. 

But she wished she did. She really wished she did. It would have made things so much easier if she could just hate him. 

That way she wouldn’t be so affected when he seemed to crawl out of the woodworks every couple of months just to break her heart with words and an overwhelming presence. 

She huffed, collapsing back into her bed and staring off at the ceiling. It had been almost two weeks since she’d dropped off the DNA kit in Harry’s mailbox the same night he’d called her as she drove back from the hospital. 

She’d rushed herself to A&E with stomach cramps, panicked after she’d gotten home from the doctor’s appointment earlier in the day with Gemma. She’d seen the midwife who had been very kind to her, checked the baby and sent her back home again with the all clear. But Alena had still been frazzled and needed someone familiar as she’d answered the phone, forgetting for a microsecond that she and Harry weren’t friends anymore, weren’t anything anymore. So she’d answered the phone, feeling a little bit of relief at hearing his voice before she remembered the tatters their relationship was in at the moment. 

And then he’d said those stupid three words that had made her heart seize in her chest and then race like she’d just run a marathon. And while she didn’t hate him, she hated the way her heart still reacted to him, and she was worried it would never stop. 

Gemma had told her she needed to put herself out there again, get herself a quote-on-quote hot date. Alena had brushed her off and laughed. She was about to be a mum, who would want to date her? 

But now Alena was considering it. Maybe she just needed to get him out of her system, and the only way to do that might be to get herself back out there. 

She picked up her phone and dialled Gemma’s number. 

“Hey, Lena,” Gemma chirped down the phone. 

“Gemma. I’m ready.” 

“Ready?” Gemma asked, a confused question in her voice. 

“I’m ready to be set up with someone,” Alena swallowed back the little whisper in her mind telling her to stop talking. 

“No way,” Gemma all but squealed down the line. “What’s brought this on? Actually, I don’t care. I have this friend, James, he’s a single dad with a two year old daughter and I think you guys would get along like a house on fire - and not because you’re both parents,” she added. “I tried to set you up last year, but unbeknownst to the rest of us you were busy with He Who Must Not Be Named.” 

Alena laughed, “sorry to have ruined your plans.” 

“It’s ok, I got a niece out of it. Ok, so, I’ll send James your details and he’ll text you.”

“Thanks, Gem. Even if it goes nowhere, I think I need this.”

“It will go somewhere,” she said confidently. “But either way, let me know when you guys go out, I want all the juicy juice,” Gemma’s voice crinkled down the line, before she heard some shuffling on the other end. “Sorry, Lee, I gotta go. As much as I love talking to you, errands await.” 

“Go, go. And thank you. I’m getting another call anyway,” she said, pulling her phone back as the receiver beeped in her ear to indicate someone else was trying to reach her. “Bye, love you.” 

“Love you, too!”

“Hello?” Alena answered, not immediately recognising the number on her screen. “This is Alena.” 

“Hi, Alena. This is Dr Brenna’s room’s calling to let you know your test results are in. We have them at the front desk if you’d like to come and pick them up.” 

“Um, yeah, ok. Do I, um, can I just - I, uh, can I just come pick it up whenever?” she asked, mouth feeling a little dry, trying to ignore the ringing in her ears. 

“Yeah, as long as it’s during office hours,” the friendly voice joked. 

“Ok, thank you. Um, bye.”

“No problem. We’ll see you soon, bye.” 

And then she hung up, took a breath and let her brain race. 

She was expecting this call any day now, and had struggled with sleep for the last couple of weeks because of it - well, because of it and because of Harry’s three little words - I miss you - they still echoed in her head, suffocating her with their meaning.  

She was still stewing in her thoughts when her phone pinged, once then twice then a third time. 

She picked it up mindlessly, glancing at the three texts on her screen. 

Two from a number she didn’t recognise - Hi, this is James. Gemma sent me your number telling me I was to text you straight away lol. The first text read, followed by a second one asking her out. Are you free this weekend? 

She tried to compartmentalise, typing up a response before she allowed herself to think about the third text. Hi, James. This is Alena lol. Yes, I’m free this weekend. What did you have in mind?

She sent the texts off and then took a deep breath opening up the text from Harry. 

Did you get the call? 

She watched the screen for a couple of seconds, reading the five words over and over until three little bubbles popped up on her screen again. 

When did you want to pick it up?

Alena turned and screamed into her pillow, picked her phone up again and texted back: Tomorrow. 

The sooner they did this, the better.

-

Please leave me a comment/ask/anything regarding what you think! Also prepare yourselves. Major angst is coming your way as we start to wrap up!

The more feedback I get the more I write, I feed off positivity and hype hahaha

Let me know what you think should happen!

[lizsogolden]

I’ll take this smile everyday!!!

[lizsogolden]

Harry in Italy! (1 February 2025)

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31💕

happy birthday Harry!

[lizsogolden]

National holiday for us Harries!!!! Our babe is growing 🥲❤️❤️

HAPPY 31ST BIRTHDAY, HARRY!! 💜 insp x

[lizsogolden]

I will never get over this video.

[lizsogolden]

Harry Styles | Daylight (Official Video)

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this is what heaven must have looked like in 2013 for all the narry girls

[lizsogolden]

thinking about his delicious back today

[lizsogolden]

A/N: Okay! So it's here! The final part! This was already fun to write, but you guys made it even more fun, and I appreciate you dearly!

Tag List: Always Open

All Chapters<-

Word Count: 9.8k

Warnings: 18+, Language, Smut, Eating Disorder, Talk of Pregnancy, Mentions of Abortion, Teen Angst, Emotions. (If I miss anything, let me know.)

Two and a half hours was a long time to sit in silence, and that’s exactly what we did.

I don’t know why I chose that moment, but everything about that night was so overwhelming. What were we doing here when everything outside this little world we created was up in flames? Each flame was a burst of reality lapping at my feet until I tried to find a way to extinguish it. It was like Harry didn’t want to see it like he was choosing not to.

He told me he loved me, destroying my world in two seconds. They were words I would have longed to hear, words I’ve only dreamed of him saying, and I felt the same. In my heart, I knew I truly did love the guy he was in those moments when we didn’t have to think; we could just be, but here I was carrying around this burden that kept stealing these tiny moments from under my feet—a chastising reminder that the world as I knew it was about to end and there was nothing Harry could do to change that.

I couldn’t just be in the moment without thinking about this thing, this baby, or whatever it was; I didn’t even know if it had a heartbeat, and to be honest, I didn’t want to know. 

I didn’t want to know anything about what this could turn into. I knew exactly where this would lead, and what could I do with a baby? What would Harry and I do with a baby? Raise it, I know, but I didn’t want to raise a baby when I hadn’t even gotten a chance to be me, figure out the person outside of the life I’ve always known. 

I’ve always had a plan that didn’t include a baby or Harry. I had let the idea of Harry go a long time ago, and nowhere did it include me falling in love right before I could finally get away, break free of this person—me—and become someone who didn’t have to fit into the mold that was created for me—I needed to be free. 

I know now that I didn’t go about it the right way—Even though I felt like my world was crumbling around me. I still felt his words settling deep into my bones, and when we got to the car, all smiles, his hand in mine, I wanted to stay in that feeling—I wanted one last moment before I had to yank the rug out from underneath us.

So, I did what I knew we were both good at. Looking back, I know it was wrong, but I wasn’t ready to let Harry go. I knew I would have to let him go tomorrow when our world split back into two, and we couldn’t be this, what we were when we were together, stay in the comfort of knowing he felt the same way because it wasn’t real.

I felt him humming through my body as we pushed our way through the crowd, stepping out into the cold. I watched the fog of his breath rise into the night sky like a secret only I knew. When we locked out, he smiled, his mouth tilting slightly, his dimple dipping. He licked his lips, and I knew—I felt it buzzing deep in my belly—the want, the need.

When we got to the car, the windows were fogged over, the drop in the night temperature on our side, and when he opened my car door, I slid in, gazing up in time to catch the crooked smile playing at his lips as people passed behind him, on their way to their cars.

I followed his shadow through the windshield, clutching at my jacket to warm up, my breath coming out in puffs of clouds, dissipating every time I took another. My heart was racing, and when the door handle clicked open, I turned in my seat to face him, surveying him as he slid into the driver’s seat, Harry looking over as soon as he was in. 

Harry shifted his seat back, not wasting any time, and then leaned forward, turning on the car—the cold air blasting through the vent hit my skin like ice as I shimmed out of my jacket. Harry did the same, a knowing smile playing on our lips. I shoved my boots off, lifting my hips off the seat to reach under my dress and slide my panties off.

“God—that’s so fucking hot—” He breathes, leaning in to kiss me, then I pull away, turning the dial of the radio up as ‘Talk Show Host’ by Radiohead blares through the speakers. I swear it couldn’t have been any more perfect, the song feeding into our hungry, and then the sound of Harry’s belt bucks fills the car, metal scrapping together, and I’m fucking salivating, peering over at him, his face so serious.

When his jeans are past his hips, his hard dick springs up, a pleasant surprise every time. I’m on my knees in a matter of seconds, reaching over to wrap a cold hand around his shaft, and he sucks a breath through his teeth, wincing at the chill, but as soon as I wrap my warm mouth around the head of his penis, he gasps, slowing relaxing into the pleasure.

“Fuck—baby, that’s so good—” he praises, spurring me on, and I want to do this. I want to make him feel good; this part I know I’m good at, a people pleaser, a pleasure giver, whatever you want, I’ll do it because that’s who I’ve been this whole time.

Then he says, “Baby—” and I peek up at him, taking in his face as he bites down on his lower lip, his head falling back against the headrest—and it’s so easy to take, and when Harry tells me he wants me, now, he wants me on top; He needs me now. I climb into his lap, wanting to give myself freely—whatever he wants, it’s his—he can have every single piece of me if that means I get to have him just like this, in this moment, carrying this memory for a lifetime, hoping deep in my bones that I’ll never forget.

I’m in his lap then, stretching past him to tilt the seat back further, Harry pushing his weight into the seat until it jostles us backward, my hand flying to the headrest as my heart beats faster with the sudden shift, and we both laugh, Harry, reaching for my face to kiss me.

The kiss is sloppy—wet mouths driving together as one of Harry’s hands moves away, then he lifts my dress, grabs my hip, and yanks me forward, and I feel his hard dick hit my inner thigh. He releases my face then, hurriedly guiding himself into me, the head of his cock opening me up, teasing my entrance, and I bear down onto him, pushing hard with my hips, fast, stealing his breath in one quick motion, his thick dick stretching me to my limits.

And then my only thought is, god, this couldn’t get any better; could it get better than this? This feeling is all-encompassing; it’s everything all at once, stealing me, taking me away, and all I want is to feel good—This feels good, this feels amazing, and his name keeps falling from my mouth, over and over. Then he says, “Marlowe—” a pained look in his eyes like he’s about to ruin it all, and I pick up the pace, needing this one thing, and he’s trying to take it away.

He seizes my hips then, pushing and pulling me back and forth, deepening the friction, and I yell out his name, overtaken by the sensation, trying to find purchase of my surroundings as I fall back into the searing wheel; a quick sound of the horn, alarming us to a momentary halt. Then Harry laughs, panic snatching me, and I clutch at my chest, trying to catch my breath as Harry thrusts his hips upward, bobbing me upward, nudging us back into motion.

My hand flies to the cold window, balancing myself, not wanting a repeat of the horn, “Love this—” Harry groans softly, a knot forming in my throat, and I close my eyes then, trying to stay in the moment. My back arches over the seating wheel, grasping at the windshield as my feet come up to the tops of his thighs, flat, finding stability, as I bounce my hips up and down, straining to find that same rhythm as before.

Harry’s hands seize my hips again, gliding up to my waist, and I press a palm into the dashing, holding myself up as I reach my dress, giving him a better view, my eyes roaming his face while he takes me in, pulling me down harder, deeper, “Just like—that—” I force between moans, the smile growing on his face, and I wish this could be enough, but this could never be enough and we both know that. 

And he’s pulling, and I’m pushing, and we’re both just pulling and pushing, taking and giving, and giving away until there’s nothing left because what will be left of us after this? When reality hits, when this is no longer our safe space.

“Baby—” He’s cries out.

“I’m getting close…” He breathes, and I nod, smiling down at him because he knows I love it when he says those words, that I love the idea of making him feel good, how the idea of us is just enough to push me over the edge.

All it takes is one last thrust, and I’m losing myself. Holding my breath as I succumb to the pressure, the tension knotting in my lower belly, and fall forward and wrap my arms around Harry’s neck, my whole body tensing, uncoiling as he says, “God—I love you—” He breathes, tightening his hold on me, “I love you so much, fuck—” And I feel him release inside me, burying his face into the crook of my neck.

It’s pain and pleasure, but where does one end and the other begin? I’m sinking into it, gasping for air, as Harry pants, hot puffs of air, and suddenly it’s so hot, the heat blazing through the vents—it’s too much—every touch and sound is becoming too much, nausea building in the pit of my stomach, pulling at my throat, and I’m sick; sick with the thought of all of it, and Harry is talking, and I can’t hear a thing past the pounding in my eardrums. 

And I have to force myself off of Harry, his face becoming a blur as I move ways, fumbling over the gearshift, climbing into the passenger seat, my head spinning, and I can’t hear what he’s saying—What is he saying?

That nauseous feeling is rising, dizzying, and I reach for the door handle, yanking it open as my head spills out into the cold air of the night, welcoming, as I heave up everything in my stomach, retching until there’s nothing left and I’m gasping for air; eyes watering, or maybe I’m crying, I can’t tell, then Harry is pulling me back into the car, tugging the door closed from behind me, then falls back into his seat, giving me space.

And then I ruin it all by saying, “I’m getting Abortion…” I confess, sucking in a deep breath, my chest rising and falling with the effort it takes to draw in a single breath, and I pull at the hem of my dress, feeling exposed, disgusted by my own decision, but I don’t have any other choice because there’s never going to be a right time to tell him.

I can’t even look at Harry; I can’t see the disappointment. I think he wanted something different, something that I couldn’t give. When I hear him move and shift around in his seat, I sneak a glance, enough to see that he’s angry, “Harry?”

“Don’t—” He starts, his voice breaking, and he clears his throat, “I don’t want to talk right now—”

“But—” I push.

“Seriously���!” he yells, shutting me down. Then he starts the car, cracks the windows, and switches the air to Deforst while I buckle my seat and lean down to shove my shoes back on.

The whole ride was me biting back sobs, on and off, while Harry sat there like a statue made of stone, impenetrable, icing me out in a way I didn’t think was possible. Confused, I found myself apologizing repeatedly, annoying myself and making him even angrier. 

His silence weighed heavy until I felt like I no longer existed, a mere ghost of myself. Every word I could have said vanished, leaving a hollow of what we could have been because there was no coming back from this, and I felt it as soon as Harry jerked to a stop in the driveway. He cut the engine and yanked the house key from my hand. Storming off toward the house, and I sat there until he was through the door, unsure of what to do. 

In his madness, Harry left the front door wide open. I could hear him stomping around upstairs, so I ran to the stairs, taking them two at a time, knowing exactly what he was doing. I couldn’t let him leave this house, not yet.

“Are we not going to talk about this?” I ask, bursting through the doorway.

“What is there to talk about? You’ve already made up your mind,” He spits, shoving clothes into his bag.

And his line silences me, “You didn’t bother talking to me about it before, so why does it matter now?” He adds, rushing around.

“Can you just stop for a second so we can talk?” I plead.

“I don’t want to talk, Marlowe, because I know whatever I say is not going to change your mind…so what’s the point?” He yells.

“So you wanted to keep it? Is that what this is?” I question, attempting to keep my voice calm.

“It doesn’t matter—Marlowe, let’s just drop it—”

“This does matter—this matters?” I push.

“What matters?” He laughs, a smug smile stealing his features.

“Us—” I force, second-guessing my words because his pointed stare makes me feel small, crushing me into tiny pieces.

“Really—?” Harry slams his bag to the ground, making me jump. “Do we matter?” He asks, a dry laugh slipping out with his harsh words. 

“If we mattered, then why didn’t you include me in your decision?” 

“I did! I told you I was pregnant, didn’t I?” I speak up.

“And if I hadn’t asked that day, would you have even said anything?” He pushed his anger back in full swing.

I shrug, “I don’t know—”

Then he shakes his head, pissed, “See—” he says, brows jutting up like I just proved his point.

“Harry, I was never going to keep it…” I scream at a breaking point.

“You mean, the baby—our baby?” he corrects me, breaking my heart all over again.

“Is it even a baby?” I question, wondering if he’s really thought this part through.

“It’s a baby to me—!” he yells at the top of his lungs, and this sets me off; we could have talked about this; at any point, he could have spoken up.

“So what was your end game here? Were we just going to have this “baby” and live happily ever after?” I ask.

“God—Marlowe…” he breathes, shaking his head, “Can’t you see all the work I’ve been trying to put in…trying to show you that we could do this? That I was on board.” 

“You mean the way we’ve been closing ourselves off from the world?” I question.

“Is that what we’ve been doing?” he shouts, throwing his arms up in the air—and was this what he was doing this whole time? Were all the baby facts him showing me he was on board? Was I supposed to take that as a green light, like yeah, let’s have this baby?

“Are you joking right now?” I spit.

“In what way do you think I’m joking?” He asks, ripping a hand through his hair.

“Because we can’t just pretend, Harry…We can’t just play house and act like this isn’t going to fuck up everything we’ve planned outside of this one thing—”

My words land hard, and I watch as he takes a step back, his jaw clenching, “ You mean what you’ve planned for your life…your life, Marlowe—”

“But what about you, Harry? Why are you so quick to throw your life away? It doesn’t make any sense…” I ask, frustration aching in my bones—and I’m drowning in it.

I thought the question would stump him and help him see everything more clearly, but then he says, “Is it really throwing my life away if it’s for you? Isn’t that what you want? I thought you wanted me.” Then his face breaks, the stone facade coming down with it.

“Harry…why does it have to be one or the other?”

“Because I can’t live with the thought of you going through with it…” he forces.

And I shake my head, my shoulders slumping, “Harry, this is real…this baby—if that’s what you want to call it…is a real thing, and what we’re doing right now…Harry, we’re just kids—I still feel like a kid—I don’t know what to do with a baby—” I tell him, moving closer to him, my voice lowering. 

“Can’t we just try?” Harry begs, tears streaking his cheeks. “I know we can do this—I promise I’ll be perfect…” 

He grabs my face in his hands, stroking away the tears that are spilling, blurring my vision. “Marlowe, I swear to you…I know that we can do this…” he pleads. 

For a second, I believe him; in fact, I know he would be great, but I don’t think I would because I’m mad just thinking about the fact that he’s pushing this so hard, and what? Would I hate him later, when it all feels too hard, and I’m trapped like I’ve been trapped here my whole life, and the only opportunity to leave is just a few months away, that’s all, and for once, I just want to fucking choose me.

“Harry…” I breathe as he presses his lips to my forehead, his hand moving to the back of my neck, deepening the kiss.

“Yes…” He whispers, and I grab hold of his shirt, clutching at the fabric, my throat tightening with the words I’m about to say.

“I don’t want to have this baby…” And I grasp his shirt harder, swallowing the burn each word left behind, waiting for him to speak, but he doesn’t say a thing. He just continues to press into the kiss, forcing his lip into my skin, his grip tensing around my neck as he shoves my head into his mouth so hard that it starts to hurt. 

He swallows then, biting back a small whimper that dies in his throat, and pulls away with such force that it knocks me back a few steps, anger riddling his face, etched so deep that it scares me, pinning me in place with his stare, but I can’t let go, I’m stretching his shirt as he tries to move away, and then he says:

“I don’t have anything else to say to you—” with such finality that it stills my blood, a cold sweat glazing over my palms, my grip weakening. He yanks his shirt from my hands, then snatches his bag from the ground and pushes past me, but I don’t chase him, and when I hear the sound of the door slamming, I just stand there, lost in the aftermath of what just happened. Knowing that no matter what I say to him right now, it won’t change a thing

I didn’t sleep that night. I moved around the house, resetting anything that looked out of place, washing the bedding, showering, and keeping myself busy. At one point, I turned my phone off so that I would have to consciously make the decision to call or text him—add a barrier in a moment of weakness. 

Why was it so easy to walk away? Did it have to be one or the other? Could we have walked away from this as friends? Or was it always going to end this way, two halves of a heart going their separate ways? 

Once I got home the next day, I crawled into bed, exhausted, already feeling like days had passed since I saw his last, since I heard his voice. 

He never took his hoodie, and I’ll never know if he did it on purpose or if he forgot it in the fury of leaving because he also left his toothbrush and his cologne that he had left on the bathroom sink.

I stayed in bed for days, knowing I had a whole week before I had to go back to school. My mom would come in throughout the day with trays of food and snacks, but they just sat there until she came back, the thought of food making my stomach churn. Then I would find myself hunched over the toilet, sometimes my mom silently holding my hair back and tucking me back into bed with a cold bottle of Pedialyte, that becoming the only thing I could keep down during my sporadic windows of consciousness. 

Every once in a while, I would stare at the label reading “Kids Approved Taste” and wonder if my mom still thought I was a kid, and then I would start to cry, wanting to stay her kid forever, not ready for the changes, knowing what needed to be done. Every new day was a constant reminder that something was growing in me, sucking the life from me, ruining everything in its wake.

It became this vicious cycle, my mom not giving up and me not giving in, and on the last day of my suspension, she had enough of my bullshit; she called my dad in.

“Marlowe—” He yells from down the hall, after hearing his limit of me and my mom going back and forth, “Listen to me right now—we don’t know what’s going on with you—” He booms as he pushes through the cracked door.

“I’m working on the biggest case of the year right now. Whatever the hell is going on right now needs to stop this instant—”

“Greg—” My mom attempts.

But my dad is cutting her off, “You have what? Two months left, and you’re trying to pull this shit? Over what, Marlowe? A breakup?” 

I swallow hard and glance from him to my mom, trying to bite back the sob bubbling up in my chest; he must see this, “Marlowe—” He says, ripping his glass off, and he presses his thumb and index finger to the bridge of his nose, then looks at my mom, who’s signaling for him to calm down.

“Please—Greg—” She tells him with a firm edge to her tone, and he nods, taking a deep breath.

“All I’m saying…is that you’ve put in all this work, and now I’d hate to see it all go down the drain over a guy who will mean nothing as soon as you go away to college…and honestly, Honey, none of like Trent to begin with…”

My mom cleared her throat as his last line landed. I wasn’t even thinking of Trent this whole time, which only made Harry’s absence more apparent than ever—driving home the fact that no one will ever know my suffering because no one even knows that we ever existed. The realization felt like a gut punch, forcing the air from my lungs. I’m sobbing all over again, mourning a boy that was never mine to begin with—a gut-wrenching longing that only he could stir in me, yet the feeling is familiar, and even though my nieve heart had once ached for him long ago, I could never imagine it feeling like this—Earth-shattering, and is this what love is? I would crawl on my hands and knees for him, do anything he wanted, but I knew what he would want, and it’s the one thing I can’t give.

My pride wouldn’t let me go to school; looking like hell swarmed over me. I wanted to look amazing. I needed to walk into that school like nothing had phased me, unbothered by Trent, not let Harry catch me down, become the same sorry case I’ve been since—I don’t know, before we existed.

Monday was fine; nobody acted or treated me any differently. Harry was the only one I couldn’t face, but he didn’t show up until Wednesday. Ignoring me, not even glancing my way when he passed me in the hallway—and me being pathetic—I couldn’t look away, feeling that magnetic pull, like a kick to the shin, an acute pain, straight to the bone, writhing in the misery of it until it went away, but it lingered, steadily looming over my head at the very mention of his name. 

For the first time, I didn’t have any friends or people that I wanted to associate with. Skylar had proven how shitty of a friend she was when I saw her cuddled up to Trent in the lunch room, but I didn’t have the energy to care; I just found an empty table and sat alone, shoving my headphones into my ears, to drown out the noise.

On Thursday, I found a way to leave Biology early so I didn’t have to pass by Harry. It made the rest of the day more manageable, and I left thinking, maybe I could do this until Friday rolled around, and that’s when the rumors started circulating.

At lunch, I sat at my table alone, trying to ignore the constant eyes on me. I had no clue why everyone was staring, suddenly interested in what I was doing, so I tried to brush it off and opened my Math book to catch up on one of the assignments that had fallen by the wayside. That’s when Skylar had the nerve to march over and open her dumb fucking mouth:

“Hey—” she says, slamming her hands down on my table. I look up at her, raising a brow, wondering what the hell she wants, and pull one of my earbuds out.

“What—” I spit, shaking my head.

She laughs, sending me a bitchy smile, like what she’s about to say just tickles her, “I just wanted to see how you were doing after that Abortion…” She asks, with a snide tone.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I tell her, trying to play dumb.

She crosses her arms then, “Are you sure? Because rumor has it that you definitely did—” Then she leans down, lowering her voice, “And I heard it wasn’t even Trents.” 

“Wow…that’s cool…” I forced, keeping my reaction neutral even though my heart was racing because I could brush off the first part, but how would she know about the second part?

“I was shocked…I didn’t think you had it in you to cheat on Trent…even he was shocked—” She expresses, placing a hand over her heart.

I interrupt her then, “Why are you wasting your time with this, Skylar? You already have Trent. Why are you acting like I didn’t know you were fucking my boyfriend, and does it look like I care?” 

Her face drops, then, “Exactly, dude, I don’t fucking care. Now, please leave me alone and go torture one of the many minions you have surrounding yourself over there, and fuck off…”

“You were always such a bitch anyway, Marlowe,” She huffs

I shrug, sending her my sweetest smile, “Well—Skylar—It takes one to know one…” Then she storms off as I catch Trent staring over at my table. He purses his lips together and shakes his head with disgust, and I sink into my chair and turn my music up, acting as if nothing had just happened, even though I was shaken to my core.

I thought it would blow over during the weekend. However, the rumors were still spreading like wildfire, burning through friend group after friend group until the condoms started appearing on my table at lunch, placed in my seat before class, becoming a run-on joke that no one wanted to drop. 

No one truly knew if the rumor was true; the only one who knew my plan was Harry. Would he do that to me? Throw me under the bus like he had nothing to do with a single aspect of this. Could I not trust him? Was he not trustworthy? Would he hurt me even more because he knew he could?

By Wednesday, I had enough of the bullshit. I needed to talk to him, so I showed up at his house after school, and when I knocked on the door, his mom let me in.

“Harry—!” She called up the stairs, “I’m Anne…are you a friend of Harry’s? He’s never had a girl over—”

“Marlowe?” He interjects halfway down the stairs, his eyes flicking from me to his mom, who had just reached her hand out to shake mine.

“Marlowe?” She repeats, “Well, that’s a lovely name, Dear,” the compliment rolling off her tongue with a thick accent. 

“What are you doing here?” He asks, cutting through the niceties with a sharp edge to his tone as Anne’s eyes widen.

“Harry—” She warns.

“I’m sorry mom…” He tells her, stepping down the last few steps.

She crosses her arms with a stern look, “Now, don’t apologize to me. Apologize to Marlowe… you’re the one with that nasty tone.”

“I’m sorry—Marlowe—” He forces through gritted teeth.

Her eyes swept to me, and then she said, “I was just putting dinner on. Will you be staying for dinner, Dear?”

“No—” Harry jumps in, “No—she was just dropping something off, right Marlowe,” And forced a smile to his face.

“Yeah—That’s it…” I lie, then he pushes past me, and I smile over at Anne like everything is fine, thinking that Harry got his sweet temperament from her, but this side of him feels venomous, every word biting to kill.

I follow him, closing the door behind me, “I don’t have much time. I have a lot of homework to make up—” He announces, pointedly like he’s tossing blame toward me. 

“Okay…should we talk in my car?” I ask, and he doesn’t respond. He just walks in that direction, pulling at the handle, waiting for me to unlock it, and I nervously fidget with the button, accidentally locking it twice, then finally managing to unlock it when I’m at the driver’s side, and we both climb in.

“What’s up,” He says as soon as we’re in. He’s gazing out the windshield, clenching his jaw.

His stance is making me nervous, wanting to call this off already, second-guessing why I’m even doing this in the first place. “Well…I wanted to talk to you about the rumors going around school?” I tell him 

“What about them?” He questions.

“Well—I don’t know—they’re like pretty specific.” I try to explain without any hint of blame.

His eyes flick to me then, “Yeah—I know…” And this is already like pulling teeth, his vague sentences starting to get me rile me up.

“I’m just wondering if you maybe…like said something by accident…? or maybe you thought you could trust someone, and maybe it got out?” I coax, keeping my voice calm, trying to placate his mood.

“I don’t know, Marlowe…” is all he says, looking away again.

It’s not a “no,” and I’m torn on how to continue. So, I turn and look out my window, my stomach twisting in knots, “Look—Harry starts.

“Someone was talking about you being pregnant, whether you would be showing when you got back, and I made some dumb comment like..I don’t know—like you probably got an abortion while you were gone…”

And he shakes his head, “I really didn’t think anything of it. I was mad at the time, and then it just got blown out of proportion…”

I’m staring at him, but something about his face no longer looks the same, like he’s changed, this angry side of him, ruining his best features, becoming the douchebag I pictured in the past; then he says, “It’s not that big a deal…”

I literally laugh out loud, making him jump, a crazed wonderment washing over me, “You can’t be fucking serious—” I snap.

“What? It will blow over. Just give it another week…” he tells me.

I shake my head, “You know what—I don’t even know who you are anymore…”

“Oh, come on—” he quips.

“No, I’m serious…in what world is it cool to throw me under the bus like that…like even if you’re mad…”

“Please, don’t tell me you’re coming over to lecture me about right from wrong…” he says, rolling his eyes, his head falling against the headrest—over the conversation already.

And then I slam my hand against the steering wheel hard, the pain reverberating through my wrist, and he sits up, “This is exactly why I’m not doing this. You’re acting like spreading rumors isn’t a big fucking deal…Well—I’m sure it’s not when no one knows this is you’re fucking “baby.” I yell.

“You need to grow up and stop acting like fucking an asshole—it’s not a good look for you—” I add.

He laughs, “I need to grow up—? Who tells someone they’re falling in love but then turns around and can’t even have a simple conversation with them?”

“Harry, we could have had as many conversations as you wanted…you could have brought it up too, at any point. Why are you acting like none of this was a two-way street? I shout, unable to keep my cool because he’s acting like a child, and it’s pissing me off. 

Harry looks me dead in the eyes, then “And would it have changed your answer?” And then I swallow my silence enough.

“Exactly—” He hisses, then yanks the door open and gets out of the car, slamming it so hard that I thought the glass would shatter.

The condoms never stopped coming. I thought the talk of prom would shift everyone’s attention, but it only seemed to add to the problem, feeding supply to the endless jokes that continued to come. I swore I would never have sex again if it meant this would go away—If it meant that everyone would shut the fuck up already. 

Two weeks had passed since then, and I still wasn’t in the clear. All I had to do was make it to next Monday, the day I was scheduled for my procedure—to rid myself of this whole situation and never look back. 

On Thursday, instead of our usual morning classes, we had our Senior Recognition Ceremony. The final trophies and awards would be handed out during the assembly, and the colleges of those who had already been accepted would be announced.

I kept looking at the clock, wishing it would move faster so I didn’t have to sit crammed next to Meily Jenkins, her elbow grazing my arm every time she moved, listening to her voice, wondering if that’s how she sounded under Harry, a deep pang of jealousy in my gut because I had already heard Harry was taking her to prom.

It’s crazy how he’s just continued with his life, not suffering a single consequence and taking Meily to prom. As if I wouldn’t hear about it, as if it wouldn’t tear me to sheards. It’s not like I wanted him to take me—I can’t even go as part of my suspension—but isn’t it ironic since I know they’ve already fucked? Is he going to have sex with her? Was everything he said a lie? I don’t even know what to believe anymore. Was this his last attempt to drive the hurt further? Because I’m already suffocating with it, what’s left? 

There were several surprises during that assembly: One, I didn’t realize how well-rounded Harry was academically; he was up on the stage more than anyone. Not to mention that he had already been accepted into five differant impressive colleges, each new fact chipping away at my soul, realizing how much he was willing to sacrifice.

The thought made my head spin, but when the Principal asked which school he thought he would attend. His voice rasped into the microphone, ripping through my body, and said, “I plan on moving back to England to attend the same Uni as my sister.”

All the girls around me gasped, but I knew this was a new decision because now he was going to run away, and maybe he was still sacrificing a lot since I’m sure this had everything to do with my choice; then his eyes swept to mine, and I tried not to flinch. 

“Alright, Mr. Styles, Well, we are certainly proud of all your hard work here. I think we can all see that you have great things in store for you, wherever the future takes you…” Harry’s eyes moved from mine back to the Principal, flashing a charming smile.

“Why don’t you go line up with others over there, son,” The Principal says, placing a hand on Harry’s shoulder, then points to the rest of the Seniors lined up behind him. 

My eyes follow Harry as he strolls toward the row of students waiting for the assembly to end. “And now I want to recognize these last two students. Who were both accepted to another prestigious school. This is kind of a rare case for us here, so we just wanted to give them a little shout-out, let them know how proud we are…”

“Marlowe Asher and Miely Jenkins—” He announces, and my heart drops, my palms going sweaty, and I grip the armrest as the girl next to me nudges me, urging me to head to the stage. 

I stand then, making my way down the row because, of course, I would be stuck in the middle; it can never be easy. Then someone gropes my butt, but they’re too quick and don’t catch who out of the three guys it could have been. All three of them are smiling, and honestly, I just want to make it to the stage without drawing any more attention to myself, so I brush it off and continue past the last two people in the row.

Miley was on stage from a previous award, and the Principal was already asking her what her plans were and what she would study. When I finally made it next to Meily, she sent me a genuine smile, an excited look on her face, so I smiled back. Then she turns back to the Principal and finishes with:

“I think it will be awesome to have someone I know from my hometown there. College seems pretty scary…” Then some guy in the audience yells my name, “Yeah—Marlowe!” followed by a catcall somewhere else in the crowd, and she glances over at me, face dropping slightly.

I run a hand through my hair, pulling down the hem of my shirt, feeling hollow and gross, wondering why I wore such tight jeans, “That’s enough, guys,” the principal scolds, then Miley passes the microphone, the thud of it hitting my shaking hand sounds around the auditorium, and she gives me a slight nod of support.

“Marlowe Asher…” the Principal starts, “You Asher sisters have left quite a legacy for this school—” 

“Yeah, she did—” a dude shouts, followed by a small roar of laughter, and I shift on my feet, my eyes darting to the ground.

The Principal clears his throat, ignoring the comment, “Miely just shared her plans for next year with us. What will your plans be?”

Then a girl yells, “Probably get knocked up!” and my eyes flick to the crowd as the room erupts into laughter, and I can’t see anyone’s faces because the lights beaming down on the stage are too fucking bright, and I’m locking my knees so hard that I think I might pass out. 

This throws everyone else off on stage. Teachers peer around at each other, dumbfounded, as the Principal tries to calm the audience. Miley wraps an arm around my shoulder, pulling us back toward the line of Seniors on stage; my eyes cast downward, afraid to look anyone in the eye.

Miley spots the microphone still in my hand, tasks it, and returns it to the Principal. When she doesn’t return to her original spot in line, she pushes me closer to Harry, our arms brushing, and I cup a hand over my arm, drawing it close to my body. 

Everything about his presence consumed me. The second we touched, his scent drifted toward me, a tingle up my arm. His scent filled my senses with everything familiar about him—and he was standing there next to me, so still, that stone statue back, so close but a million miles away. Did he care at all? Did he feel bad? 

When I tried to sneak a glance, the slightest turn of my head revealed his face was flat and rigid, jaw clenched as he clasped his hands behind his back. Was he angry? Was he still mad at me? And when I turn my head to really take him in, he shifts on his feet, then moves away, crosses in front of me without a look, and stands on the other side of Miley, leans in, and whispers something into her ear, and her laugh slices me open, the second it falls from her perfect mouth. 

Rejection for anyone was a hard truth to face, but no one did it like Harry. No one has ever grazed the surface long enough to cut this deep, make me feel like a hollowed-out version of myself, staving for the slightest morsel of a crumb, just a fucking speck of recognition; how could it not hurt him? —Him hurting me. Did he not feel anything? Did this not matter?

Because I believed him when he said, “I love you,” that it wasn’t just a passing phrase. I thought at most that we were friends, that there would be a friendship. He wanted love, a lover—isn’t that what lovers do? They love one another until they’re deep in their bone, so deep that they leave their mark for the world to see—and maybe the world will never know the mark that Harry left on my life, but I’ll know the feeling for a lifetime. 

What was love for him? Love for me was me making the best decision for us both, and maybe he hates me now, but will he hate me forever? Will there ever be a time when he realizes it was for the best? Will he be able to look back and see the good and not hate me for the worst because he felt bigger than any of the bad? We felt bigger; maybe we couldn’t last forever, but the ending should have mattered. We knew there was an ending; it mattered how it ended because I couldn’t bear the thought of this ending, of never talking to him again. 

On Friday, as Harry was about to pass me in the hall, I stepped in front of him, trying to make one last desperate attempt to smooth things over, “Can we talk?” I murmured as people passed around us, no one really paying attention except for a few random stares.

“Have you changed your mind?” he asks, his tone bitter.

“Harry…Please…” I silently pleaded, knowing he was about to walk away.

Then he tries to push past me, “I have nothing to say, Marlowe—” He spits as my hand presses flat against his chest, trying to hold him in place. 

“Harry—” I beg, his gaze harsh as he stares down at me.

“Hey, Styles—” A girl shouts, and I turn to spot Meily and Andy about to pass. Their stares flick to my hands on Harry’s chest, catching us in the middle of my distress, and I drop my hands just as Miely locks eyes with me, and I look away as they pass, feeling embarrassed by what this might look like.

“I’ve gotta go…I can’t be late for class,” Harry’s voice is gravel over my skin, pushing past me; my eyes follow, and I will myself not to scream his name because that’s all I want to do is fucking scream because I am so alone, he left me alone in this, and now I have no one as I stand in the middle of this hallway, trying not to cry because his constant refusal is etching away at what little I have left.

And if it couldn’t get any worse, as soon as I walked into the lunchroom, I was greeted by Trent, who was on his way out the doors, bumping into me and nearly knocking me over. 

When he puts a hand on my shoulder to steady me, his eyes roam down my body, then back to my face, and I knock his hand off my shoulder, disgusted by his approving eyes, “Man, it’s a shame I won’t be able to see you in that prom dress—” He says with a smirk on his face, the scab on his lip, fading.

“Whatever—” I breathe, trying to push past him, and his hands come up to my waist, pinning me in place.

He smiles then, “No, seriously…you’re looking good, Marlowe—” And he sounds genuine, but this approval is making me lose what little appetite I had, and I roll my eyes because he thinks I look good—What’s a few more pounds lost to stress, just enough to finally win Trent’s acceptance, that’s it—Starve myself until those low rise jeans he loved finally hang off my hip bones.

I shake my head and look away, then he pinches my side, and I shove his hands away, nausea rising to the back of my throat, “Fuck off, Trent—” I seeth, and he raises his hands in mock defense, backing away with a stupid fucking smile on his face.

And right on cue, there’s a scatter of condoms spread across the table, and I run my arm across the surface, swiping them to the ground, then sit, acting as if this isn’t about to set me off. That’s when Miley walks up to my table, kicking a few out of the way, “These people are fucking idiots…” She breathes, and I shrug my shoulders, silently peering up at her.

This girl is the epitome of everything I want to be at this moment: tall, blonde, athletic, kind; the girl that will get the guys, and she has no clue, no clue how lucky she’ll get to be when Harry holds her in his arms, sharing every slow dance at prom, the pictures, the kiss that was guaranteed to happen, and if I’ve learned anything, how easy it is to fall into bed with someone, the hard part was over, they had already had sex, now it will be like riding a bike, their bodies already familiar to one another.

“Hey…I’m sorry to bother you—” Meily starts.

“You’re not bothering me—” I tell her, trying to set her at ease because she looks nervous.

“I just wanted to tell you that I think it’s cool that we’ll be going to the same school…” Then she smiles.

“I know, ” I agree, returning the smile because she’s making it so easy; her easygoing smile beaming down at me feels like the only warmth I’ve had all day.

She shrugs. “Well—” Then she reaches into her back pocket, “I wrote my number on a piece of paper…I don’t know—in case you wanted to, like, meet up before, or like after we’re there…I won’t know anyone.”

“Same,” I say, clearing my throat, choking up at the thought of this small gesture, at the idea of having a friend who seemed brave enough to brave the stares of everyone around us.

“Thank you,” I smile, glancing down at the tiny piece of paper because it’s hard to stare into her big blue eyes without wanting to cry.

She shifts on her feet, “Well, you’re welcome to sit with his…” She invites, jabbing her thumb toward her table, and my eyes flick in that direction, Harry’s whole table staring over at us, except for him. Something about the scowl on Andy’s face seemed like an attempt to ward me off, so I politely declined.

“Don’t worry about Andy…She’s like that with everyone. When I told them what I was doing, Harry—” And my ears perk up at the mention of his name.

“He was the one that said to invite you…” She finishes, and then we both look over. Harry’s eyes, now concentrated on our interaction, and maybe I stare a little too long because when my eyes flit back to Meily, she’s watching me, eyes searching my face, and my eyes move to my table as I scoot upright in my chair.

“I actually have a lot of homework…my family is going on a trip next week. So, I’ll probably just do this…” I lie, my eyes falling on the books in front of me. 

She smiles, “That’s fair…well…I’m sure that offer stands…so if you get tired of sitting alone…You know where to find me…” Then she gives me a small wave and backs away from the table, awkwardly, but to be expected, because she probably hoped I would jump at the offer. 

After she walks away, I dive into my homework. I had gone around to all my classes warning them that I would be gone, organizing everything because I didn’t know how long I would be out after everything, after the process—From what I’ve read, everyone’s body handles the abortion procedure differently, depending on how far along you were.

I never attempted to figure out how far along I was. I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to look up information later, and find out that the damn thing had an actual heartbeat, put any emphasis that it might actually be closer to a “living” thing than I imagined—right now, this thing was a parasite eating away my insides, ruining my entire future and that’s how it needed to stay, not this brain fuck that Harry kept trying to feed me because he chose not to understand.

When the bell rang, I started gathering my stuff, taking my time as people emptied their trays, the noise whizzing around me already making me nervous, gearing up for whatever asshole who wanted to poke a quick jab in passing; what I wasn’t expecting was Harry.

He stopped me dead in my tracks, almost dropping the books in my hands, and just as he was about to open his mouth, Josh came up and hooked an arm around his neck, dragging him with him. Harry breaks away, fumbling out of his grasp, eyes on me the whole time, my heart racing with anticipation, thinking, yes, this is it, he finally wants to talk, maybe he’s willing to come to an understanding.

Then his eyes drop to the ground, taking a few steps closer, and I watch as he bends down, snatching a gold foil-wrapped condom off the tiled floor, then looks up, a hateful smirk spreading across his face, and says, “You dropped this,” laughing as he tosses the condom onto the stack of books resting on my forearm. 

The sharp corner spikes me through the paper-thin material of my shirt, and I look down. The shiny package now resting against my chest— for a split-second, I stand there in shock, in total disbelief that Harry would sink this low—He had taken it too far; whoever he had been was a lie because that person, the one that stroked my cheek, and told me I was the only girl he wanted, would have never done this, but he was that same person, proving that he’s no different than any other guy.

Instead of giving him the reaction he must be looking for, I push past Harry and his stupid friend, my skin crawling with rage, knowing Josh’s laughter spurred Harry in motion. 

I headed straight through the cafeteria doors, bursting through them, and walked straight to my car, got in, and started the car—I’m never coming back here, I will never step foot in that fucking hell hole again, and just as I’m about to turn out of the parking lot, I spot Harry’s car. I drove my foot into the break, jerking the car to a stop, and then I slammed the car into park. 

Adrenaline had already taken way, coursing through me as I reached over in the passenger seat and tore through my pile of books until I spotted the gold foil wrapper. With all my rage, I rip the car door open with such force that it springs back—and I kick it open, sliding out of the driver’s seat, my feet hitting the pavement with a thud as I bound over to his car and shove the condom under his windshield wiper, knowing it will be the first thing he sees when he goes to unlock his car. Then I ran back to my car and sped off like a bat out of hell, not wanting to get caught by campus patrol. 

I’m lost in my fury as I speed down the street. At some point, I must have zoned out because the only thing that snapped me out of my haze was the honk of a car horn stuck behind me at a green light. The blare of the noise rattled me back to life, and I stepped on the gas peddle with a heavy foot and shot through the light just as it turned yellow, the car behind me riding my as until they could get around me and when I look over they’re flip me off.

It’s the nail in the coffin, and I burst into tears, nearly colliding with the car in front of me, my blurry vision hindering my site every time a tear spills over and runs down my face, and then I pull over into the nearest parking lot, scrolling through the numbers in my phone.

Once I reached Sienna’s number, I hit call, and my phone connected to Bluetooth as soon as her phone started to ring. The sound fills my car, rings several times, then goes to voicemail, and I call again. Each time I try, she forwards my call, and I’m calling over and over again. Calling until I’m so worked up that I stop altogether and bury my head into my arms, draped across the steering wheel, and cry until I forget where I am.

It’s not until the sound of an incoming car jolts me back to life that I look up, dazed, staring over at the screen spelling out Sienna’s name. When I answer, her voice booms through the car, her voice frantic:

“Lowe, is everything okay? What’s going on? I didn’t have my phone—shit—I’m sorry I missed your cars—”

The tears were back in full swing, and at first, I couldn’t say a thing like the muscles in my throat had fused, aching with every attempt, “Lowe, are you there?” She pushes.

And it takes a few hard swallows even to mutter the word, “Yeah,” and then she jumps right in. 

“Why are you crying? tell me what’s going on?” She pleads, worry helplessly filling her tone. 

“Sienna…” I sob out.

“Yes, Lowe, I’m here…tell me what’s wrong…”

“I just—” I try, and she waits for me to say something else, but I’m losing control. Every word being pushed down by a sob.

“Take a breath, Lowe, everything is going to be okay…” She coaxes.

I know her words are true, but right now, it all feels too heavy, like I can’t do this alone. I know that I can’t do this on my own because I am so scared and so lost in it all that I don’t know what to do anymore, “I just—please—” I beg.

“Tell me what you want—” Then her voice cracks, “Do you want me to come home? 

I cry out then, my sobs echoing over the speakers, “I need help—” I manage to finally say, “Please—” I plead.

“I’m packing a bag right now, okay…where are you?”

And I gasp in a shuddering breath, “In my car…” I tell her, peering around at my surroundings.

“Do you want me to call Mom and have her pick you up? Do you know where you are?”

“I know where I am…” I whisper, my tears sobering at the mention of “Mom.”

“Can you drive?” She asks

I suck in a hard breath through my nose, trying to clear a way for more air, then say, “I can drive.”

“Do you promise? Because you know, Mom will be there as soon as you ask, right?” 

And the thought breaks my heart even more because I should have just come to them in the first place, and I feel like a fucking fool, losing myself to another guy, “I promise—” I tell her, wiping at my eyes as silent tears fall, mourning the fact that I know everything is about to change, that I’ve changed, sad that a piece of me still wants to be that girl that pleases everyone else, that maybe would have given into Harry’s pleas if this would have happened a year ago, and that thought scares me too, would I have been willing to give it all up for him?

“Marlowe?” Sienna nudges.

“Yeah—” I croak, defeated, feeling like I’ve been hung out to dry by a world I didn’t know existed, caught between a parallel of past and present, yet the future is right now, in this moment, knowing everything will change for better or worse, and now, I’ll have to learn to be okay with that and when my sister says:

“Everything is going to be okay. Whatever it is…It’s going to be okay. We’re going to get through this…” She promises.

And then I say, “Sienna, I’m pregnant—”

A/N: Well, guys, that was the last part! Thanks for coming along for the ride!!

All Chapters<-

[lizsogolden]

harrystyles: To the most inspiring people I know. Goodbye for now. Love On Tour forever.

[lizsogolden]

🛰️✨💫 girlie for life!!!!!!

I’m in an LA mood. I don’t wanna talk to you. She said: Give me a day or two; I go round and round. Satellite.

[lizsogolden]

Thank you so much for the tag @harrywavycurly

People I’d like to get to know better: @maudie-duan @cloudylunn @itscoucouharry @heshoes @stylesonfilms @ineffablywriting @harryssyndrome (no pressure to do this btw)✨

Last song: My Woman-Zayn ( spamming my Zayn playlist to cover my broken heart that I won’t be able to attend his US leg of tour)

Favorite Color: Purple

Last Movie: Maxton Hall ( yes it’s a series but that’s the last I’ve seen tv) but if we’re going technical then Wicked 🤗

Last Book: The other Brother by Tierney Page 🫦 ( I imagined LHH just to make the story more entertaining lol) sorry not sorry

Sweet, Spicy, or Savory? A mixture of Spice and sweet, the blend just makes sense!!

Last thing I googled: “Disney images” for a introduction of myself online class assignment

Current obsession: Angst fics of Harry on Tumbler( pls I need new ones daily), my kindle reading list, Magnolia Park series(going to start book 2 soon)

Looking forward to: taking a few online classes that are quite easy this semester before I return to apply for my Program which is Nursing and finish the last two remaining semesters to graduate as an RN!! Manifesting I achieve this goal!! ✨✨✨

[lizsogolden]

🤗

Cutie