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[living-in-neverneverland]

[living-in-neverneverland]

The Morning After I Killed Myself

The morning after I killed myself, I woke up.

I made myself breakfast in bed. I added salt and pepper to my eggs and used my toast for a cheese and bacon sandwich. I squeezed a grapefruit into a juice glass. I scraped the ashes from the frying pan and rinsed the butter off the counter. I washed the dishes and folded the towels.

The morning after I killed myself, I fell in love. Not with the boy down the street or the middle school principal. Not with the everyday jogger or the grocer who always left the avocados out of the bag. I fell in love with my mother and the way she sat on the floor of my room holding each rock from my collection in her palms until they grew dark with sweat. I fell in love with my father down at the river as he placed my note into a bottle and sent it into the current. With my brother who once believed in unicorns but who now sat in his desk at school trying desperately to believe I still existed.

The morning after I killed myself, I walked the dog. I watched the way her tail twitched when a bird flew by or how her pace quickened at the sight of a cat. I saw the empty space in her eyes when she reached a stick and turned around to greet me so we could play catch but saw nothing but sky in my place. I stood by as strangers stroked her muzzle and she wilted beneath their touch like she did once for mine.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to the neighbors’ yard where I left my footprints in concrete as a two year old and examined how they were already fading. I picked a few daylilies and pulled a few weeds and watched the elderly woman through her window as she read the paper with the news of my death. I saw her husband spit tobacco into the kitchen sink and bring her her daily medication.

The morning after I killed myself, I watched the sun come up. Each orange tree opened like a hand and the kid down the street pointed out a single red cloud to his mother.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to that body in the morgue and tried to talk some sense into her. I told her about the avocados and the stepping stones, the river and her parents. I told her about the sunsets and the dog and the beach.

The morning after I killed myself, I tried to unkill myself, but couldn’t finish what I started.

[living-in-neverneverland]

guides to life

how to write a resume

how to protect your home against break-ins

effortlessly earn $50-100 from surveys online

reasons to take a foreign language

harsh truths

questions to ask in an interview

getting an apartment

list of jobs based on social interaction levels

long distance relationships: how to stay in contact

how to find a college

marriage

how to ask for a recommendation letter

how to choose a college major

what to do if your wallet is stolen/lost

budgeting

how to write a cover letter

how to handle a phone interview

how to get a copy of your birth certificate

first-time flying tips

how to ask a good question

[living-in-neverneverland]

Don't ever hesitate. Reblog this. TUMBLR RULE. When you see it, REBLOG IT.

The original post only has US helplines. I've added UK helplines underneath. It would be great if people could add numbers from everywhere in the world.

Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433

LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438

Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673

Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272

Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453

UK Helplines:

Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail jo@samaritans.org

Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111

Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: info@mind.org.uk

Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 legal@mind.org.uk

b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: help@b-eat.co.uk

b-eat youthline (for under 25's with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)

Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: helpline@cruse.org.uk

Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600

Drinkline: 0800 9178282

Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail info@rapecrisis.org.uk

Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight

India Self Harm Hotline: 00 08001006614

India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669

Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868, Free and available 24/7

suicide hotlines;

Argentina: 54-0223-493-0430

Australia: 13-11-14

Austria: 01-713-3374

Barbados: 429-9999

Belgium: 106

Botswana: 391-1270

Brazil: 21-233-9191

China: 852-2382-0000

(Hong Kong: 2389-2222)

Costa Rica: 606-253-5439

Croatia: 01-4833-888

Cyprus: 357-77-77-72-67

Czech Republic: 222-580-697, 476-701-908

Denmark: 70-201-201

Egypt: 762-1602

Estonia: 6-558-088

Finland: 040-5032199

France: 01-45-39-4000

Germany: 0800-181-0721

Greece: 1018

Guatemala: 502-234-1239

Holland: 0900-0767

Honduras: 504-237-3623

Hungary: 06-80-820-111

Iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90

Israel: 09-8892333

Italy: 06-705-4444

Japan: 3-5286-9090

Latvia: 6722-2922, 2772-2292

Malaysia: 03-756-8144

(Singapore: 1-800-221-4444)

Mexico: 525-510-2550

Netherlands: 0900-0767

New Zealand: 4-473-9739

New Guinea: 675-326-0011

Nicaragua: 505-268-6171

Norway: 47-815-33-300

Philippines: 02-896-9191

Poland: 52-70-000

Portugal: 239-72-10-10

Russia: 8-20-222-82-10

Spain: 91-459-00-50

South Africa: 0861-322-322

South Korea: 2-715-8600

Sweden: 031-711-2400

Switzerland: 143

Taiwan: 0800-788-995

Thailand: 02-249-9977

Trinidad and Tobago: 868-645-2800

Ukraine: 0487-327715

[living-in-neverneverland]

Cool date ideas!

Grab all your spare change and go to your car.  Ask your significant other to think of a number between 1-30.  Whatever number he picks, that’s how many coins you’re going to use.  Now flip a coin. Heads, you go right out of your driveway.  Tails, you go left.  At every turn have them flip again.  When you hit the number they picked, make a date out of wherever you are (as long as it’s legal).

Act like you’re from out of town and ask a local where the best restaurant is that isn’t a chain.  May find a new hole-in-the-wall with great food.

Go to a park dressed fancy.  Pretend like you’re there for a photoshoot, but only use imaginary cameras.  If people are staring, ask them to take a picture of you with your imaginary camera.  

Go to a book store and both of you buy the first book that looks interesting.  Go to a coffee shop and both read the first chapter, then switch off the books.  You and your significant other have to read from where the other person left off.  Keep switching every other chapter.

Set up a lemonade stand.  Make lemonade, but also have a pitcher of water that has yellow food coloring in it.  Give that to the customer and watch them struggle, and then give them the real lemonade.  Give the money to charity.

Go to McDonald’s dressed really nice and enjoy it.  You know you like McDonald’s don’t lie.

Decorate your apartment like a restaurant in a foreign country.  Decorate it as cheesy as possible.  Then make a meal from that country, and have a friend wait on you.  Extra points if you can get your friend to speak in the accent of the country.

Drive through the night to the beach.  Have a picnic at sunrise.  Take a nap on the beach, and then drive home that night.  Stop at any 24/7 diners you find on the way home and eat.

Find a place near you that either does contra or line dancing. Dress in 18th century period clothing.  Don’t worry, you don’t need to know how to dance.  There will be people there that can teach you as you go, and the caller will tell you what steps to do.  

Find a place to go horseback riding.  While riding, look at your significant other and say, “Giddy up partner” and wink.  Then ride away before they can say anything.  Get laid.

[living-in-neverneverland]

If u don’t sing 2000’s r&b songs at the top of ur lungs like u just had ur heart broken u aren’t living right

@therelatabletexts (via therelatabletexts)

[living-in-neverneverland]

Typewriter Series #1766 by Tyler Knott Gregson

Need a Life Reboot?  Want to discover new creativity, joy, compassion and inspiration?  Want to find yourself?  Come take our Miracle in the Mundane Course!  chasersofthelight.com to sign up and hear more!

[living-in-neverneverland]

you: that is a nice ass shirt

me: thank you but, to be honest, its called “pants” and not an “ass shirt”

[living-in-neverneverland]

IF 👏 A 👏 LARGE 👏 DOG 👏 THINKS 👏 IT’S 👏 A 👏 LAP 👏 DOG 👏 IT’S 👏 A 👏 LAP 👏 DOG 👏

[living-in-neverneverland]

Take it one step at a time. Don’t rush things. You got this.

(via psych2go)

[living-in-neverneverland]

I just wanna say… From the bottom of my heart… Get the fuck away from me if you have bad intentions

[living-in-neverneverland]

[living-in-neverneverland]

He tripped out

[living-in-neverneverland]

YesAllWomen

Because I fear walking down a hallway that is not monitored by cameras near the perimeter of the mall I work at. Because when I am walking towards a group of men by myself my immediate action without thought is the slide my hands into my sleeves and form costs incase I need to fight back. Because I asked for a self defense course for a Christmas present so I could feel safer near people.

[living-in-neverneverland]

Mental Health

Mental Health should be taught in school. It should be a mandatory class so everyone is well informed and educated. Why? Because those of us suffering should not be told that we are just being too sensitive or to just get over it. How do you just get over feeling like you are drowning even when there is no water? How do you just get over being terrified of everyone and everything. When you can tell me how I can get over feeling the way I feel and having it work, then maybe I will believe you then that I am just being too sensitive. Until you find a solution for my mental health state don’t tell me what you think you know but in reality have no idea about.

[living-in-neverneverland]

I just want someone to love me how Christophe loves Anna. How Gus loves Hazel Grace. How Mia is loved by Adam. How Noah loves Alli. I want a little infinity. I want someone who values my happiness. I want someone who will drop everything and come when I desperately need them. Someone who would sneak into see me if I were in the ICU and was restricted to just family. I want an extraordinary love. The kind you hear about in fairytales. The kind you grow up thinking is all around you.

[living-in-neverneverland]

Vows and Promises To My Future Children

I vow that I will never be as oblivious to my children’s sufferings as my parents were to mine. I vow that if my children ever want to do something that I personally did when I was there age, I will withhold judgment. I vow that when they get their first broken heart, I will be there for them, I will not make them face it alone (unless they want to be alone for a bit) because at that point in their life that is going to be the worst pain they have ever felt and the worst pain imaginable to them. I promise I will listen to them when they need it, hug them when they need it, and love them always. I vow that if my kids tell me the do not feel loved or wanted, that I will ensure that I make them feel that way. I will not say oh shut up you are just trying to get attention. I vow that if my children want to get a piercing or tattoo that is out of the norm, I will not judge, I will be there to help them create themselves. I vow that I will let you shave your head or dye your hair crazy colors if you so choose. I vow that if any of my children lesbian,gay, bisexual, asexual, transgender, etc; I will still treat them the exact same way. I will not care who you love or if you love at all as long as you are happy. If I have a son and he wants to wear makeup and dresses, he can! If he wants to sing and dance and do “girly things”, he can! If I have a daughter and she wants to cut all of her hair short and wear mens clothes, she can! If she wants to play football, or hockey, or do other “boy things”, she can! As long as my children are doing what they love and standing by their beliefs and being who they feel they are inside, I will be there supporting them. If my children have conflicting beliefs and views about the world than mine, I will not tell them they are wrong. I will hear them out and let them have their own opinion. If my children want to be vegetarian or vegan, I will not tell them that it is a stupid decision, or that they will have to start buying their own food. I will support them and help them on their journey; if that means I have to put a few extra things in the cart when I am grocery shopping then so be it. I vow to never put my children down just to give someone else joy. I will never make my children into a joke to my parents. I vow to never play my children against each other to try and find out what they have done wrong. I will respect their unwritten code, “The Sibling Code.” I vow to love my children unconditionally, to always make time for them. I vow to be supportive of their goals, hopes and dreams no matter how far fetched they may be; any thing can happen with dedication and support. Finally, I vow to treat them as I wished my parents treated me.