livin-life-to-the-coolest

[livin-life-to-the-coolest]

HAPPY MAY THE 4TH!  ✨ TRUST ONLY IN THE FORCE | Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order

[livin-life-to-the-coolest]

Tech Oneshot – Oblivious

Tech x GN!Reader Oneshot

Warning: Angsty/Hurty/Fluffy/ Oblivious Tech / Nervous Tech

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Author's Comment:

This guy lives rent-free in my head, and so there are a thousand scenarios in which he appears. This is one of them. Tech doesn't get the reader's hints until his brothers help him. But even then, his conclusion is flawed.

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Oblivious

You've been traveling with the Bad Batch for a while now. Actually, it was more pleasant than you expected, the guys were decent. But one thing frustrated you a lot by this time. You had fallen head over heels for the pilot, the genius, Tech. The frustrating thing was that he didn't understand any of your innuendos, he took everything way too literally and apparently there was no room for innuendo in his understanding because he overlooked every attempt. By now everyone knew what was going on except him. If there had been potted plants on the Marauder, even they would have known what was going on before Tech did.

What you didn't know, however, was that his brothers had taken him aside and informed him, quite directly and without any subtlety. The next time you were alone with him and came into the cockpit where he was packing up his tools, he turned when he heard your footsteps. He towered over you by quite a bit, his slender figure tucked into his gear was smeared with machine oil on some parts.

"Y/N, good to have you here. I think we should talk," he said, pushing his goggles up the bridge of his nose with the index finger of his right hand.

Surprised, you looked at him, but nodded and said, "Okay, sure, I'm all ears."

Tech thought for a moment before saying, "Hunter and Echo approached me about a topic that was beyond my understanding"

You frowned thoughtfully and gave a soft "aha", of your own.

"Well, if I understood correctly" he continued, looking at you scrutinizingly "Then you harbor certain feelings for my person. Is that correct?"

Your heart suddenly leapt into your throat and seemed to occupy your vocal cords, for at first little more than a nervous croak came from your mouth.

His big golden brown eyes looked at you uncertainly.

"Y/N?"

"Um, yeah, yeah right," you finally said after clearing your throat, even though you had thought for a moment about lying and evading the situation.

He blinked and seemed to be thinking about his next words, and something about his expression made your insides want to tighten and knot.

"The thing is, I can't return those feelings," he finally spoke softly.

Your throat became incredibly tight, your legs became unspeakably heavy, and you wished you had lied to escape the situation.

You just looked at him silently, not knowing what to say.

"It wouldn't be appropriate for us to be a couple. I wasn't made to be in a relationship and our lives don't leave much room for-"

"It's okay" you interrupted him "You don't have to explain yourself or make excuses. I get it."

You smiled, but even though Tech had his problems with interpersonal issues, he could see that your smile didn't reach your eyes.

"I'm not looking for excuses, Y/N I'm just trying to-"

"It's okay. I'll back off. I have other things to do anyway."

You didn't, and you both knew it.

"Like what? "he asked innocently.

"Something private, that's my business," you grumbled, annoyed that you didn't have a better excuse, and hurried out of the cockpit.

You sat by the river not too far from the Marauder, but far enough to be out of sight and have your peace for the time being. For a while, you fought the urge to cry, but eventually, a few tears flowed anyway, which you angrily wiped away.

You were angry, at yourself and also at the others who had more or less ratted you out to Tech. But actually you knew that they had only wanted to help. That had backfired now, though.

You cursed inside that you felt so small and lonely, now that you knew he didn't return your feelings. How were you supposed to work with him or travel with the guys now? It would just be weird to stay, you thought sadly, and thought about how best to say goodbye to the boys and go your way again.

When Hunter entered the cockpit, he found a Tech who appeared to be a bit off, indecisively turning his datapad in his hands.

"What's the matter with you? You seem spaced out."

Tech looked up and said, "I was talking to Y/N because of the feelings we were talking about"

Hunter raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Oh. Seems to me the response was less than good, or why are you sitting here alone?"

"I told Y/N that I can't return the feelings".

Hunter looked at him incredulously.

"Why the hell would you do something like that? You told me and Echo that you felt the same way about Y/N".

Tech nodded.

"Well, I do. But it's not advisable to give in to that, not with the way we live. Besides, I have no experience and probably wouldn't be the right partner"

Hunter sighed and knelt down to Tech, who was sitting on the floor of the cockpit.

"Tech" he began "We clones often live very short lives, experience is hard to come by, hardly any of us do. Very few of us are as lucky to have someone take an interest in us as Y/N takes an interest in you. That's special and you shouldn't let that pass you by, that would be the real mistake."

Tech blinked.

"What if I can't make Y/N happy?"

"You think breaking Y/N's heart is better?"

Again he blinked.

"I would never break Y/N's heart!" he said, horrified.

Hunter grabbed his brother's shoulders and said, "You did today, though, by saying you couldn't return the feelings. Y/N certainly didn't take that the way you meant it, no one would have taken it that way, not with those words."

Unhappy, Tech asked, "What am I supposed to do now?"

Hunter shrugged his shoulders and said, "In the end, that's your decision, but if you want my opinion, I'd say go to Y/N, tell the truth about your feelings, the rest will follow. You'll see."

When you heard footsteps, you hastily wiped the tears from your face and fervently hoped that your eyes were not red.

You heard Tech's voice ask, "May I join you?"

You answered without looking at him, "I'd rather be alone."

"Please" he said softly, sounding a little nervous "I want to talk to you"

"What if I don't want to talk to you?" you asked defiantly.

Tech sighed softly and sat down next to you anyway before saying "You don't really mean that".

It felt strange to sit next to him, you longed to just lean against him, wrap your arms around him. But of course you did nothing of the sort.

"What do you want?" you asked instead, a little more harshly than you'd planned.

"To apologize" he said softly "I gave the wrong impression earlier".

You frowned. You weren't quite sure what he was getting at.

"I'm sorry, but I don't understand," you admitted.

Tech cautiously moved a little closer and confusion spread through your mind. Somehow, it all didn't quite fit together.

"I've had feelings for you for a long time, just like you have for me," he finally blurted out.

Slowly you turned your head to look at him. He shyly avoided your gaze and you could see his ears turning red.

"Then why did you say earlier that you couldn't return my feelings?" you wanted to know.

He explained: "I meant that I shouldn't, because I thought that... I thought I wasn't cut out for it. I don't have any experience as far as that goes, and I thought-"

You gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek, which instantly silenced him.

You heard a soft "Oh" pass his lips before he sought your gaze.

Your hand went to the back of his neck as his face came closer, you both closed your eyes and your lips finally touched. You heard him sigh softly and smiled into the kiss. Your other hand went into his hair, he opened his lips slightly, letting out a soft gasp as your fingers gently caressed the skin of his head and stroked through his hair.

You seized the moment and gently slipped your tongue into his mouth. He moaned into the kiss as your tongues touched. His hands automatically grabbed your hips and pulled you onto his lap. He shivered under your hand in his hair and the kiss you shared. When you broke away from the kiss, he looked at you through half-closed lids.

"My heart is beating very fast," he said softly.

You smiled.

"Mine too"

@chxpsi

@mybigfatspoonielife

@clone-whore-99

@the-sith-in-the-sky-with-diamond

@nunanuggets

@brynhildrmimi

[livin-life-to-the-coolest]

All credit goes to original author.

Tech x Female Reader - I Can't Let You Give Up

Tech x FemaleReader Emotional Hurt/Comfort One-shot

WARNINGS!!!: Mention Of Suicidal Thoughts/ Implied Preperation Of Suicide/ Mention Of Drugs/ Mention Of Alcohol/ Hurt/ Angst/ Comfort/ Fluff/ Worried Tech/ Caring Tech/Happy End

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Heads up! This isn't exactly pretty. Don't know who needs this or if anyone does, but here it is.

Because of the delicate subject in this, I chose not to tag anyone.

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I Can't Let You Give Up

There was this woman, Tech saw her often at Cid's Bar. She was pretty, practically always a smile on her face, which made her eyes shine. He always admired her from a distance, watching her more or less secretly. Of course, Crosshair hadn't missed that, and every now and then, he teased him about it. But Tech had learned to tune out his brother's snarky comments. He liked watching this woman, she was so pretty and he liked the way she moved, the way she smiled at the people she talked to, so open, warm. Tech was sure she had a good heart, matching her appearance. After each mission, he sought out the bar in hopes of seeing her again, the beautiful woman who had piqued his curiosity. He never approached her and avoided her gaze when she looked in his direction. He was much too insecure and shy to talk to her. But he liked to look at her, and liked to imagine that she would smile at him that way, too, if he ever got up the courage to approach her. One evening, though, she was back in the bar, but something was different. She didn't smile, or rarely, when she was approached she was always friendly, but still, something was different, her eyes didn't smile, only her mouth, but he could see she was trying hard to keep up the pretense. The next evenings were similar, at some point she didn't show up at all.

Unsettled and secretly worried, he kept looking for her, but she never came back. Tech questioned through the guests he usually saw her talking to, none of them knew why she stopped coming to the bar, but one of them, knew where she lived. Tech's heart beat wildly in his chest as he stood in front of the small cottage she lived in. A small, outwardly dilapidated house that squeezed between the large buildings in a dark alley, as if it would be crushed by them.

There was light in the window, so someone was home. After a few moments of collecting himself, he finally knocked on the front door.

________________

You heard a knock at the door, looked up from the pillbox in your hand and to the door. You really didn't feel like having visitors now. Turning the pillbox indecisively in your hand, you stared at it, feeling empty, and at the same time there was far too much on your mind. You longed for peace, for an end to your worries, for something good. But there was nothing, you couldn't find anything in the emptiness that had taken hold of you.

There was another knock. Your eyes wandered to the clock, it was already quite late in the evening. Who would visit you this late? Ignoring the knock, you looked from the pillbox to the bottle of Spotchka with which you were going to wash down the pills. It would be painless, you'd feel some kind of rush before you'd slowly get tired, fall asleep, and never wake up. At least, that's what the holonet said.

Another knock.

You didn't know if some part of you wanted to be distracted or if you just wanted rest, but you slammed the pillbox down on the table, got up, and went to the door. You opened it just a crack, a blaster in your hand on your back, after all, the neighborhood was crappy and that was putting it kindly.

"Yes?" you asked, a bit annoyed, looking up at a rather tall man who looked strangely familiar.

He was staring at you out of wide eyes behind the lenses of his goggles, as if you had startled him.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" you asked when he didn't say anything.

He cleared his throat awkwardly and smiled wryly.

"I'm sorry to bother you so late" he said so softly that at first you were puzzled.

"Okay...?" you said a little confused.

"I just wanted to see if everything was okay."

Now you were even more confused, you felt strangely caught, but he couldn't possibly know that, could he? Who was this guy?

"Why?" you asked nervously.

"I haven't seen you at Cid's Bar in a while," he explained, as if it were obvious.

Now you remembered. You had seen him at the bar. You had often felt he was watching you, but he had never approached you. You weren't quite sure if you were comfortable with him.

"I remember you, you often watch me in the bar, but you always look away when I seek eye contact," you said frankly.

He scratched the back of his head nervously.

"I guess that's true. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I just like seeing you smile, but you haven't done that in a long time."

The fact that this strange man had noticed, someone you had never spoken a word to before, that you were no longer smiling, hit you unexpectedly hard. You swallowed.

"You noticed that?"

He nodded gravely.

"Of course," he said, as if it were a given.

You swallowed again and said softly, "Well, I'm not very happy."

He looked at you with concern.

"May I ask why?"

You looked up at him, unsure if you should talk to him. You didn't know him at all, after all, but since you had moved here you had only made superficial acquaintances anyway, and after what you had actually planned to do, it didn't matter if you talked to anyone, or to whom, anyway.

"We don't even know each other," you still said uncertainly in a low voice.

He smiled at you unperturbed, held out his hand and said, "Hi, I'm Tech. What's your name?"

You had to smile, you couldn't help it. You shook his hand and said, "I'm Y/N. Pleased to meet you Tech."

"The pleasure is all mine"

You decided to take the risk, today was a very strange day anyway and invited him in. Surprised by your invitation, he entered the house and found himself in the open living room-kitchen. You asked him to sit down on the sofa and sat down next to him, with some courtesy distance.

His eyes wandered over the pillbox and the spotchka and you were annoyed that you hadn't thought to put it away.

He blinked and looked at you from the side.

"Are you having hysterical breakdowns or something?"

"What?" you asked, confused.

"Do you have hysterical episodes or something?"

"No. Why?"

He pointed to the pillbox.

"This is a very strong sedative that is usually prescribed to hysterical patients."

At first you didn't know what to answer.

But you didn't even get to that before he continued.

"You shouldn't swallow medicine with alcohol," he said softly, and he sounded sad, so sad that you felt tears welling up in your eyes.

You cleared your throat and vigorously blinked away the tears.

"I know," you said simply.

"Now I'm afraid to leave again. What if I go away and tomorrow.... you no longer exist?" he continued.

"That wouldn't be your responsibility, nor your fault," you said in a strained voice.

"Why are you so unhappy?" he wanted to know, looking at you worriedly "You had the most beautiful smile of all, who stole it from you?"

Your hand clawed into your thigh, tight and painful to distract yourself from how much you wanted to cry right now.

You sighed and said, "I'll try to sum it up. A few days ago I kicked my boyfriend out, broke up with him. Because he had taken advantage of me. As long as he needed something from me, sex, food or any other attention, he was there, otherwise I was alone in this relationship, he exploited me emotionally and physically until I had no more energy. One day later I found out that my financial reserves are gone, the same day I was fired because my employer is broke. So I'm going to lose my house, even if it's just a broken down little shithole in a shitty neighborhood, but it's my home. I... feel lonely even in a room full of people, separated from... well everything. I haven't had anything to eat in the house for three days and the spotchka as well as the pills I stole. I have been very tired for a long time... very tired and have no energy, even before this shitshow started last week, it just put the icing on the cake."

Tech looked at you wide-eyed, adjusted his goggles with his index finger, and said, "You haven't eaten in three days? No wonder you can't think straight! I'm very sorry about all this, but if you'll let me, I'd be very happy to help you."

You sighed wearily and said with a brittle voice, "I don't know, I'm just so tired of everything."

He frowned unwillingly.

"I can't let you give up."

"Why do you want to help me so badly?" you asked incredulously.

"Because I'm a good person and I just happened to hear about your situation. So I want to help. Well... I probably have a little crush on you, too."

His confession made you laugh, heartily and honestly, not at him or what he had said, much more at this strange situation you just found yourself in.

"I'm sure we can get you a job at Cid's bar if that's what you want. I could get you something to eat right now and... your boyfriend, well, we can do without him I guess. But I can keep you company if you don't want to be alone today."

It was so strange, just a moment ago everything had been so gloomy, chaos in your head and emptiness in your heart. Now you looked at this man on your sofa, who by the way was kind of cute, and all of a sudden you didn't feel all alone anymore. He had seen you, not just looked at you but really seen you. He had realized that something was wrong, he was worried. Maybe you weren't so alone in this universe after all.

"Okay, maybe I'm ready to try again, maybe keep going," you said softly.

He smiled.

"Very well! Then please allow me to dispose of the pills," he said seriously.

Your eyes wandered to the box and you felt that you were reluctant to look at them, all at once.

You nodded.

"Okay."

Tech took the pills from the table, left the house for a moment and came back.

"Grab your keys and whatever else you need and come with me" he said spiritedly, holding out a hand to you.

For some reason you had to grin and it was so relieving, you had thought you would never use those facial muscles again. You complied with his request and reached for his hand. It was a little surreal as he walked with you holding your hand to a landing spot near Cid's bar, but it felt good. You didn't know this man, but you felt safe with him, even though everything in you would normally have resisted going with a stranger.

"I've arranged a slightly belated BBQ," he said "A midnight BBQ."

In front of one of the shuttles were a couple of men who had set up camping chairs and a table, and on a large homemade grill next to it, all sorts of meats and vegetables were already sizzling.

It smelled wonderful, so wonderful that you almost burst into tears. When you don't know for days when and if you'll get something to eat again, such a simple invitation to a BBQ was an absolute godsend.

One of the men, a tall slim one of similar stature to Tech said, "I can't believe it, you finally dared to approach her".

The man grinned at him.

"Those are my brothers Crosshair, Hunter, Echo and the bigger one over there standing by the grill with the tongs, that's Wrecker".

You nodded to the men who all gave you a friendly greeting, Wrecker even more so with an enthusiastic wave of the grill tongs.

"Come and sit down," said the man with the bandana, Hunter if you weren't mistaken.

"I don't want to impose," you said sheepishly.

Echo flashed you a wry smile with an amused sideways glance at your intertwined hands and said, "Don't be silly, you're welcome to join us. Tech's friends are our friends too"

You looked up at Tech, who gave you an encouraging nod.

"Go ahead, come sit down" he said and led you to the table.

There you sat, among new friends, people you didn't know but who were suddenly there for you when you were really in need. Life suddenly went on and it surprised you, but it was beautiful.

[livin-life-to-the-coolest]

all credit goes to original author

The Dating Pool - Part 1

Summary: Dating is hard as it is, regardless if it’s online, or offline. And to make things worse, one of the few men that you’ve ever had an interest in, is looming over your shoulder as you attempt to replace him. Maybe you’re not meant to replace him?

Pairing: Tech x f!Reader

Tags: Idiots in love, Friends to lovers, Love confession, Flirting, Loneliness, Angst, Fluff, Comfort.

Word count: 3k

Warning: There is a fatphobic comment in a strangers dating profile - not said by Tech or the Reader.

Keep reading

[livin-life-to-the-coolest]

How You See Me Chapter 2

Chapter 1 is here: https://www.tumblr.com/livin-life-to-the-coolest/773761174319808512/clone-wars-imaginehow-you-see-me-reader-and?source=share

You've Met Your Match

The boys smiled as they saw Crosshair walk back over to the table with his arm around you. They began cheering. “Yes Crosshair we knew you could do it!” Wrecker yelled. 

“Do you all have to be so obvious?” Crosshair tried to sound annoyed, but he was so grateful for his brother's encouragement when it came to asking you out he couldn’t even really be mad. 

“Umm yes! This is a huge deal!” Hunter laughed 

“Settle down just a bit Wrecker. We’re happy for you guys.” Hunter said in a much more casual fashion. 

“You guys look really cute together.” Echo said softly. 

“Thanks guys.” You said smiling. You looked at the guys curiously. “So you all knew?” They all gave you various looks of “Yes we knew”. 

“The two of you were not discreet.” Hunter said knowingly. You rolled your eyes. 

“None of you ever thought to say anything!” You were shocked they had known and were able to keep their mouths shut. 

“We couldn’t sell out our brother to you. Not to mention we didn’t know if Crosshair would actually make a move or not.” Hunter said laughing. You laughed along. 

“We thought tonight might be the best night to let him know and it looks like we were right.” Tech said looking up from his datapad smiling. “I am happy for the two of you. You two are good for each other.” 

“Thanks Tech.” You smiled at him before looking over at Crosshair. He was looking between you and his brothers. A genuine look of affection on his face. You could tell he was happy whether he would admit it or not. 

“How about another round of drinks to celebrate?” You suggested. 

“Sounds good to me!” Wrecker said excitedly. 

“Great, I’ll be right back.” You got up to go to the bar. You were ordering the drinks when you felt someone come up next to you. You smiled assuming it was Crosshair, but it turned to a slight frown seeing another guy standing too close to you for being a stranger. 

“Hey there.” The guy said. You put on a polite smile. 

“Hi.” You hoped if you kept the conversation short he would get the hint, but that didn’t happen. 

“You are gorgeous, you know that?” You kept the same polite smile on your face as you spoke again. 

“That’s kind of you, but I’m not single. Thank you for the compliment though.” You turned to look ahead of you again figuring that the conversation was over. 

“You’ve got some nice curves on you. Nice and thick. You felt bile rise in your throat at his words. What was with people commenting on your body today? You dropped the kind tone. 

“Dude I told you I’m not single so back off.” 

“I don’t see anyone.” 

“You aren’t looking close enough then.” You hear Crosshair's smooth voice next to you as he wrapped his arm around you glaring at the guy. 

“She told you to leave her alone. You should learn to listen.” The guy's eyes widened looking at Crosshair. While Crosshair's voice and posture was calm the guy could see in Crosshairs eyes that he wouldn't hesitate to break his nose. 

“My bad man. Didn’t realize she was actually with someone.” The guy quickly got up and left. Crosshair looked over to you watching you closely. 

“Are you ok?” He ran his finger over your cheek. A gesture that left you flustered. 

“Yeah…I’m fine.” You smiled at him. 

“What did he say to you?” Your mouth twitched as you thought back on his words. 

“Not much, just thought he thought I was pretty.” You said casually as the bartender started to bring your drinks over. 

Crosshair's brow raised expectantly. “Anything else?” You frowned 

“Nope.” 

“Then why did you get so upset?” Crosshair stated observantly. You watched him closely realizing what he meant. 

“Oh he just said some stuff about my body that was gross. It’s not a big deal.” You shrugged, grabbing half the drinks and passing him the other half. Crosshair watched you closely, his face becoming agitated that the guy had made crude remarks about you. 

“What did he say specifically?” You smiled at Crosshair. 

“Does it matter? Plus I don’t need you getting mad and starting a fight. We’re celebrating. Let’s not worry about it.” You gently nudged him as you walked back to the table. Crosshair wasn’t ready to drop the subject, but he also didn’t want to make you feel awkward. He would ask you again later when it was just the two of you. That was the second time tonight you had seemed upset by things people were saying. 

Hunter was watching the two of you curiously as you sat the drinks down. He had heard the entire conversation with Crosshair and the other guy. Did you just not like people talking about your body? I mean maybe the guy was being kind of gross but he hadn’t thought that the descriptors were that bad, especially for a normally level headed person to become that upset. “Everything alright?” Hunter asked as you sat back down and started passing the drinks out. You and Crosshair both looked at him, Crosshair immediately knew why he was asking, it took you a second longer forgetting how sensitive Hunter's hearing was. 

“Yeah, just some guy.” You shrugged, passing the drinks out.

“You get hit on too much.” Crosshair said irritably. His brothers smiled at his comment. While they assumed it was flattering for you they understood that it would be really irritating to be in a relationship with someone who was constantly being flirted with. You turned smiling at Crosshair. 

“You hit on me too, you know?” You teased. Crosshair scoffed at your remark, smirking. 

“I’m with you. There’s a difference.” He said, wrapping his arm around you. You smiled at his words. 

“Cheers everyone.” You threw back the shot along with the boys. You all continued to exchange stories and laughter. Your drink was hitting you harder than the others on account of you puking your food up. Crosshair chuckled seeing you ramble about something, your words ever so slightly slurring. You weren’t a messy drunk by any means, but he did want to make sure you got back to the ship safe. Once you were done with your story he put his hand on your shoulder. 

“We should probably get you back to the ship. It’s late and you're drunk.” You rolled your eyes at him smiling. 

“I’m not drunk.” He gently poked you causing you to sway in your seat.” He smirked at you. 

“Really? You’re swaying isn’t giving me much confidence in you.” You laughed at his words.

“We both know I’m always clumsy. Me swaying doesn’t prove anything.” 

“True, but you are also slurring your words and your eyes are dropping, which lets me know that you’re tired. There will be plenty of time to party another day. Come on.” He gently pulled you up with him. Wrapping his arm around your waist. He turned to his brothers. “See you all back at the ship.” 

“Use protection!” Echo yelled after him, causing him to scowl. 

“Bye guys!” You yelled as you walked away. They all laughed waving at you before Crosshair led you out of the bar. He was not expecting you to be so chatty. You chatted the entire time back to the ship. Just saying anything and everything that ran through your mind. He laughed at things you said, he usually hated stupid chatter, but with you he thought it was cute. He pressed the code into the door opening the ship.You leaned against him as he did so. 

He laughed as you tried to peek to see his code. “Come on nosy, let's get you to bed.” You raised your eyebrows playfully. 

“Bed huh?” Crosshair shook his head amused. 

“Not like that. I am not having sex with you when you won’t even remember it.” He guided you towards your room. You clumsily ran into your bed as you came in. 

“Ooof-why not?” You yelled as you hurt your stomach. He gently guided you to the bed, worried you would hurt yourself if he left. 

“Because I’m a man of honor. I won’t sleep with you when I don’t believe that you can fully consent.” He spoke in a soft tone that you rarely heard him use. You watched him softly as he got up to start looking for clothes for you to sleep in. You began taking your shirt off while his back was turned. You really wanted to have sex. 

He turned back with pajamas in hand only to drop them in surprise. It was amusing to see him like this. You hardly ever saw him surprised. You laid back eyeing him innocently. 

He shook his head trying to avoid smiling. “What are you doing?” He avoided looking at your body knowing it would only tempt him. 

“Nothing.” You smiled innocently, slowly lowering the straps on your bra to give him a better look. He looked up from the ground at the movement, eyes widening further as he saw you starting to take your bra off. 

“Stop that. We are not having sex.” He tried to be firm, but he did find you funny. He pulled your straps back up and sat the clothes in your lap. “I’ll be outside, you can let me back in once you’ve changed. No funny business.” He quickly stepped out of your room and closed the door. He looked down irritated that his body had reacted to seeing you stripping. He focussed on different types of guns to calm himself. 

“You can come back in.” He frowned slightly at the tone of your voice. Why did you sound different? He hesitantly opened the door, eyes widening as he saw you fully nude and laying seductively on your bed. He quickly put his hands over his eyes. 

“Y/N….” He warned with a stern voice. You were trying to push his buttons. 

“Yes?” You asked innocently. 

“What part of putting clothes on made you think you should be naked?” His tone was firm but you could tell he wasn’t actually mad at you. 

“Maybe because I want you to see me? Why won’t you look? I’m giving you permission.” Crosshair sighed frustrated. 

“It’s not really permission if you’re intoxicated now is it?” You smirked at his words. You slowly got up from the bed and walked towards him. He knew you were getting closer even with his hand covering his eyes. You stopped right in front of him. Close enough he could smell the perfume you had worn that night. 

“I want you to look at me.” You said softly. You gently took the hand that was covering his eyes. You chuckled seeing his eyes were closed under his hand. He was being very thorough about not looking. You moved so that your mouth was next to his ear. “Please touch me Crosshair.” You felt him stiffen as you whispered into his ear. 

“Y/N….you’re pushing it.” You smiled softly. 

“I’m not going to get you to look am I?” You spoke knowingly. 

“No you’re not.” Came his snarky response. You could tell he wanted to, but was holding back significantly. 

“Fine.” You sighed putting the clothes on. “I am dressed this time, I promise.” Crosshair opened his eyes to see you were actually dressed. You patted the bed signaling him to sit with you. He came over and gently sat on the bed next to you. Leaving a small space between the two of you, which seemed like such a Crosshair thing to do. You knew he wasn’t the biggest fan of physical contact. 

You watched him closely. He really was such a handsome man. You were surprised when he reached up to run his fingers over your cheek. “You really are so beautiful.” He said quietly, almost embarrassed. Your cheeks turned red at his words. 

“You’re pretty mesmerizing yourself.” Crosshair scoffed at your words. 

“I am not even in the same league as you.” You shook your head smiling at him. 

“I don’t believe that in the slightest. I see the women that fawn over you and I can’t blame them one bit.” Crosshair chuckled at your words. 

“You noticed that did you?” He asked curiously. You nodded thinking back. 

“On the last mission when we went undercover? Yes I noticed.” Crosshair watched you curiously. 

“Were you jealous?” He teased. You rolled your eyes. 

“No.” His smirk widened at your denial. 

“You’re lying.” You shook your head, eyes challenging. 

“No, I’m not.” He gently grasped your chin. 

“Darling I know you and I can tell when you’re lying.” He said softly as he rubbed your chin with his thumb. You were so captivated by him. Staring wide eyed at him. 

“Do you really know me so well?” 

“Yes, I do. I’ve spent so much time watching you. Admiring you. I’ve felt romantically for you for a long time.” You smiled flattered at his words. 

“Want to know a secret?” You asked. He nodded curiously. 

“The night I learned I would be going on a mission with you and the others I stayed up all night doing research on you all to make sure I knew everything about you. I found you all so fascinating ... .but especially you.” Crosshair was sure you wouldn’t have shared that if you weren’t drunk, but he was glad you did. 

“What was interesting about me?” He decided to probe, since he knew you would never open up like this normally. Not about things that would embarrass you. You smiled drukingly at him. 

“I remember ... .you were so handsome, I thought it was so cool that your hair was silver, but you’re young. You have these unique eyes that are unlike anyone I have ever seen before. You are tall and slender, which happens to be my type. Then I read your profile and got even more intrigued. I’ve always had an interest in guns and aiming. So you were kind of up my alley from the very beginning.” Crosshair eyes widened at your words. He had never thought you would feel that strongly about him, from the very beginning. 

“I had no idea you felt that way darling.” He teased. Your cheeks changed to a light pink hue which he found adorable. 

“Of course I did. Then I met you and you were super closed off which only made me more attracted to you. Also…I like it when you call me that.” You smirked at him. 

“What darling? I’ll make sure to keep calling you that. Wait…you liked me because you thought I didn’t like you? That sounds unhealthy.” He said amused. 

You laughed, “That’s me, I always make unhealthy decisions.” Crosshairs eyes softened at your words. 

“Why is that?” You stared at him as he asked. Your eyes dazed.You shrugged at his question. 

“Umm…I don’t know.” Crosshair watched you closely. A soft smile on his face. 

“You're lying.” You were unfazed at his statement. 

“I just have a bad track record of making decisions that will hurt me.” You shrugged trying to play it off. Crosshair gently held your hand. 

“If you don’t want to tell me that’s ok, but I”m here if you ever want to tell me why.” You smiled softly at home. 

“I know. Thank you.” There was a moment of peaceful silence before you gently nudged him. “So…what did you think of me when we first met?” Crosshair chuckled. 

“I thought you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my life.” Before you could even feel flattered he continued. “I thought it was going to be a trainwreck. I thought you would make it through one mission with us and quit, which honestly at the time is what I wanted. I liked it just being me and my brothers, but you…you managed to surprise me and I don’t get surprised often.” You laughed at his words. 

“You hated me that much? That you wanted me to quit.” Crosshair gently shoved you at your teasing. 

“I didn’t hate you. I just didn’t like people who weren’t my brothers. I thought we all worked efficiently and we didn’t need anyone else. It was nothing personal.” 

“When did you decide I was ok to keep around?” You asked curiously. He thought it over for a minute, smiling to himself. 

“It was when you matched my humor on the third mission. You were friendly on the first two but unless we included you in conversation you kind of kept to yourself. On that third mission though…you were so snarky and funny. You kept up with me in a way that nobody usually does. I was impressed, even if I would have never told you that.” You smiled softly at him as he spoke. It was probably the most open he had even been with you. You and Crosshair had lots of deep conversations, you were the one he came to any time he was upset or stressed or even if he just had a funny story to tell you, but he had never been this open before. 

“I had no idea.” He smiled at you softly. 

“Yeah because I didn’t want you to know.” You rested your head on his shoulder. You felt him stiffen for a second before wrapping his arm around you. 

“Thanks for telling me that.” You said. He chuckled. 

“Well you were pretty open, I thought it was only fair I did the same. Don’t expect it again.” He said teasingly. You rolled your eyes at his words. 

“Of course not, this is a one time thing.” He nodded in agreement. 

“Glad we’re on the same page.” You both laughed. You loved moments like this with him. The quiet real moments where your humor matched, but it wasn’t overly snarky. You would snark with him any day, but these soft moments were rare. 

“So we really can’t have sex?” You said teasingly. 

“I’m afraid not. You’ll have to wait for that amazing night.” He teased.

“Amazing huh? Why don’t you show me now how amazing it would be?” He shook his head smiling at your words. 

“It’s such a shame I’m a man of honor and I won’t disrespect you like that. It must be so hard.” He mocked gently. You both know you weren’t being serious. 

“It is a shame.” You both chuckled knowing how ridiculous the conversation would be to anyone else. 

You jumped slightly as you heard the door to the front of the ship open. You heard the loud voices of the other Bad Batch members. You both sat quietly listening to the others walk around and prepare for the night to end. 

“Do you think that Crosshair was able to have sex with her?” Wrecker asked too loudly for you to not hear. You chuckled as he spoke while Crosshair just looked annoyed and somewhat embarrassed.

“Bumbling oaf” You heard him mutter under his breath. 

You heard the others shush him, but he wasn’t catching on. “I bet they’re in there making love. I think that’s great! I don’t care what any of you guys think.” You covered your mouth to keep your laughter quiet as you doubled over at Wrecker's words. Crosshair couldn’t help but smile as you got pleasure out of Wreckers blunt words. “I think that they’re good for each other.” Wrecker spoke again. 

“You’re right, they are perfect for each other.” Echo spoke, though nowhere near as loudly as Wrecker had, you could still hear it. Your laughter turned into a smile at the kind words of Crosshairs brothers. 

“I know what you mean. They balance each other out really well.” You heard Hunter respond. You could almost hear the smile in his voice. He was clearly happy for his brother. 

“They are statistically going to be a very good couple. They understand each other, they were friends before this all began, and they have the same sense of humor. These are all excellent qualities for a healthy and stable relationship.” You heard Tech say, which as close as Tech would get to saying he was happy for Crosshair. You looked over at Crosshair waiting for his reaction. 

He looked mildly irritated, but under it all you could tell he appreciated his brother's words of support. You gently nudged him, smiling to which he rolled his eyes. 

“Do you think if I go in there they’ll be naked? Mine and Y/N’s laundry got mixed and I need clear underwear.” You doubled over laughing once again as the groans that filled the room. Crosshair couldn’t help  but laugh quietly with you. 

You got up and went to sort Wreckers laundry from yours. Wrecker knocked on your door just as you had finished. You quickly opened it. Wrecker covered his eyes worried he would see you or his brother naked. “Wrecker, we're decent. You’re fine.” Wrecker slowly removed his hand from his eyes only to see you were telling the truth. His eyes widened as you held out his sorted laundry.

“Wait! How did you know that’s what I was coming to your room for?” Wrecker asked with wide eyes. Before you could respond Crosshair spoke up. 

“Because we could hear everything you said you buffoon.” Crosshair said annoyed. Wrecker's eyes widened even more, his mouth hanging open. You smiled gently at him trying to soften the blow. 

“Here you go.” You said passing him his laundry. He took it from you and looked back towards the main area of the ship. 

“Guys, they heard everything we said!” Wrecker yelled in shock. 

“Well when you talk as loud as you do Wrecker it’s not shocking.” Hunter teased. 

“Wait, can we all hear each other all the time?” Wrecker asked, confused. You smiled at him before beginning to close your door. 

“Goodnight Wrecker.” You said instead of answering his question. You turned back to Crosshair who was rolling his eyes at the door. 

“They’re idiots.” He said in a much quieter tone than the others, making sure they couldn’t hear him. You shook your head walking back over to him. 

“They mean well.” Crosshair gave you a look before responding. 

“Doesn’t mean that they aren’t idiots.” You rolled your eyes before sitting back down next to him. 

“I should probably let you go to bed.” Crosshair said, looking at you. You bit your lip, you didn’t want him to go, but you knew he was right. 

“Ok.” You leaned forward kissing him softly, to which he quickly returned. He cupped your face, deepening the kiss ever so slightly. When he broke a part you tried to chase after his mouth but he held your chin. 

“Ah ah…you need to work on your patience.” He teased. You glared teasingly at him. 

“I have plenty of patience.” He got up making his way to your bedroom door. 

“Whatever you say Kitten.”

Authors note: I love comments so let me know what you think! If you like the story please reblog!

[livin-life-to-the-coolest]

All credit goes to the original author

Sleep

Author's Note: For @thecoffeelorian . Written for the prompt: Falling asleep in each others arms. This turned out a bit more angsty than I was originally intending but I hope you like it! I always find it a challenge to find the right amount of fluff for Cross.

Pairing: Crosshair x fem!reader

Word Count: 3,617

****************

Crosshair shot up in bed, throat constricting painfully as he tried to bring a full breath of air into his lungs. His chest heaved as he looked wildly around the darkened room, pulse racing beneath his skin. It took a moment for him to get his bearings, to realize that he wasn’t in that tiny grey cell on Tantiss anymore. He wasn’t strapped to some examination table in a lab. He was fine, he was safe. He was on Pabu. He was home. 

He groaned softly, his entire body still on high alert from his nightmare as he kicked his legs over the side of the bed. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees before letting his head fall into his hands. The cool metal of his cybernetic hand was both a relief against his fevered skin and a horrible reminder of everything he’d been through. Crosshair remained still for a long moment as he waited for his heart rate to return to a reasonable level, for his thoughts to stop racing on the same panicked loop. He shivered slightly as the cool breeze from the open window whispered across his skin that had been dampened by a cold sweat. 

It was the same nightmare he had had hundreds of times before. But no matter how often the same visions flashed across his mind, he always woke up the same way. Panicked, angry, scared. Kamino, Tantiss, Hunter, Wrecker, Omega, Desix, Echo, Mayday, Tech. Over and over the scenes played in his sleep, each time he watched everything crumble and burn, watched everyone he cared about die by his hands. It always felt so real. 

Crosshair finally straightened once his shoulders were no longer heaving with effort to breathe and his ears were no longer ringing. He turned slowly to look over his shoulder at the bed, trying not to make any sound or shift the mattress as he did so. Everything inside of him instantly softened at the sight of you. You were still sleeping peacefully, thankfully undistributed by his own nighttime troubles. He let out a gentle sigh, grateful that you were oblivious to him at that moment, though it wouldn’t have been the first time one of his nightmares had woken you up. 

He watched you for a long moment, his eyes tracing the lines of your face. You looked so peaceful when you slept, content. Most days, he still couldn’t quite believe that you were there, with him. After everything that had happened, sleeping in your shared bed, looking like there was nowhere else in the galaxy that you would rather be. 

The room was silent except for the soft sound of the waves coming in through the open window and your even, gentle breaths. He watched your chest rise and fall for another moment, wanting to be certain he hadn’t disturbed you. He sighed again, knowing that if he tried to go back to sleep he would just spend the rest of the night tossing and turning. He didn’t need the guilt of waking you added on top of everything else. So he stood, slowly so as to not move the bed. He paused though once he’d reached his full height, turning back around to look at you once more. Before he could stop himself he stooped over the bed, hand reaching out to brush a stray piece of hair that had blown into your face from the breeze coming in through the open window. He tucked the stay piece behind your ear, taking a moment to marvel at the softness of your skin. You let out a soft sigh as he pulled his hand away, nuzzling further into your pillow. He felt as if his heart was being carved from his chest at the sight, you meant everything to him. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for you. He’d do everything in his power to protect you, even if that meant protecting you from himself. With another sight he straightened, slipping silently out of the room and down the stairs.  

The small house was completely still and quiet as he made his way towards the kitchen. Omega and his brothers were likely all fast asleep, as they should be, at this time of night. As always, his eyes were drawn to the pictures lining the walls as he made his way through the house. An enthusiastic Omega and Wrecker, and a skeptical but pliable Hunter had taken it upon themselves to decorate their small home. Their place had very quickly filled up with anything and everything Omega and his brothers seemed to like, the walls filled with their finds. Before, what he would have considered clutter would have bothered him, but now he found he actually liked it. Not that he would admit that to anyone though. But after spending all of their lives with nothing it was still strange but nice to have something that was completely theirs. And now that you were here it felt more like a home than ever before. 

At first, back when things between the two of you had still been strained, you had stayed in Phee’s home anytime you came to the island. But that had slowly changed over time until one day he’d found himself cleaning out a drawer in his room for you. Since the fall of The Republic you’d been working with Rex, then Echo, helping them in any way you could with the clone rebellion. You hadn’t said anything and he wasn’t about to point it out but he had noticed that your journeys off Pabu had grown fewer and farther between lately. If he had things his way you’d never leave again, you were his, and he wanted you with him always. But he also wasn’t about to come between you and doing what you felt you needed to, what was right. No matter how much he might want to keep you with him every moment of every day. 

Crosshair stalked quietly across the kitchen before he stopped in front of the sink, grabbing a glass off the counter and filling it with water. His throat felt incredibly dry, as though he’d been crying out in his sleep. He knew he likely hadn't been if you were still asleep, but he had done so in the past. No matter how much he tried to convince himself he was over everything that had happened, he couldn’t seem to shake the nightmares. 

He gazed out the open window as he sipped slowly on his water, the gentle breeze sending a slight shiver down his spine. It was a warm summer night, but the sweat on his skin left him with a chill. The island was as silent as the house, peaceful, calm, safe. Now if only he could make himself believe he wasn’t in any danger, not anymore. 

Crosshair tensed at the sudden sound of soft footsteps overhead, he'd recognize your light tread anywhere. Guilt washed through him as he listened to you make your way down the stairs, obviously, he'd woken you up after all. He didn’t even so much as turn from his spot, simply continued to watch the waves crash against the shore down below as your footsteps drew nearer. It wasn’t until you crossed the threshold of the kitchen that he spoke, but his eyes remained focused on the quiet world outside the window. 

“Go back to bed,” He hissed, his tone more hostile than he intended but he couldn’t seem to stop the shame that was suddenly crawling up his throat. There was still a part of him that hated to be seen in these moments when he felt so weak. The other part felt so guilty for pulling you into this, how could he possibly make you happy when all he seemed to do was mess things up?

Despite his words, your footsteps didn’t even falter, and before he could even think of anything else to try and say your arms wrapped around his waist, your body pressing tightly up against his back. That part of him, that angry, writhing part, wanted to push away from you. To turn and demand you leave him but he knew you wouldn’t listen even if he did. Instead, he was helpless, melting into your embrace as he felt your cheek rest in the space between his shoulder blades. 

You were quiet for a moment before speaking softly, “You should know by now that it’s not that easy to get rid of me.”

The anger that it seemed he had spent all of his life trying to control suddenly rose up in him again, inexplicably. He wanted to snap, to point out that you had left him once before but the words got stuck in his throat. He knew that wouldn’t be fair to you. He had been the one who had made it impossible for you to stay, after all. And even after everything that had happened, after everything that he’d done, you had still come back to him. You didn’t deserve his anger. 

He let out a deep sigh, hands moving away from the counter to rest over the top of yours. As always, his anger and frustration seemed to melt away as you held onto him tightly. After a long, silent moment he turned in your arms, lifting his hands to wrap around your shoulders, pulling you in close so that your head rested on his chest. You squeezed his waist tighter in response, melting further into him. He closed his eyes for a moment as he rested his chin on the top of your head. 

The two of you held each other silently, the turmoil inside of him settling with each passing moment. It was moments like those, where the two of you were wrapped so tightly together it was hard to tell where one began and the other ended, that he wished would never end. There was a time, not that long ago, when he would have balked at being held like this, at being so vulnerable, even with you. But now no matter how much his mind might war with him sometimes, he couldn’t get enough of you. You’d crawled into his heart, wedged yourself right up beneath his rib cage, and yet he still wanted more. You were his. 

Your voice was barely above a whisper when you spoke again, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” He snapped before he could even stop himself. A knee-jerk reaction brought on by a lifetime of avoiding his feelings. He pulled back slightly, enough that he could look at your face but still within arms reach. Your hands moved from his waist to his arms, grasping his forearms firmly, as though you were ready to stop him should he decide to bolt. There wasn’t any judgment in your expression as you looked up at him though, just the same kindness and understanding as always. It made him sigh, guilt turning his stomach once more, for trying to shut you out when you deserved, more than anyone, to be let in. 

“It was just the same things as always,” He finally said, after another long, silent moment. He turned his head slightly, unable to fully meet your gaze after such an admission.

“Cross…” You said softly, tugging his arm gently until he felt as if he had no choice but to meet your gaze once more. You took a step closer to him as your eyes met, tipping your head back as your bodies brushed against each other. 

“There is nothing that you could tell me that would make me think of you any differently, or care for you any less,” You continued gently as you lifted a hand to rest on his chest, directly over his heart. His skin burned beneath your touch, his heart racing as your fingers bunched in the fabric of his sleep shirt, “I love you. Nothing will ever change that. But it kills me to see you suffering. I want to help you, in any way I can. But I can't do that if you don’t let me in.” 

“I’m supposed to be the one that looks after you,” he hissed, his grip on your waist tightening as shame bubbled in his throat once more. He was a soldier, his entire purpose had been to serve and protect. His entire life he’d been defective but still effective, but now with a missing hand and fragile mind what good was he? How could he possibly be enough for you? 

“It’s not a one-way hyperspace lane Cross, we help each other,” You answered gently, “If you’re not ready to share then that’s ok, but I hope you know you can tell me these things. Anytime. I’m here for you. Sharing doesn’t make you weak or defective, and neither does having feelings in the first place,” you continued as if reading his very thoughts. You’d always been able to see him better than anyone else ever could.

He sighed, taking a step closer to you without thought as if you were the sun his planet orbited around. His heart constricted painfully in his chest, the back of his neck prickled with a cold sweat, the words grated against his throat as he spoke, “It all the things I’ve ruined, the terrible things I’ve done, all of the people I’ve hurt. All those moments when I should have been there but wasn’t. It just won’t stop.” 

He couldn’t bring himself to meet your gaze, turning his head slightly away from you as the shame rolled in his stomach once more. He’d been built to withstand wars, it didn’t make sense to him why he was crumbling now, after everything. 

“Cross,” You said gently as your hand lifted to his face, cradling his jaw and applying just enough pressure until he couldn’t resist meeting your gaze again, “What you’re feeling is normal, it doesn’t make you weak. You’ve been through something so terrible, and yes, you made some mistakes, we all have, but you can't change the past. All we have control over is what we do next, how we move forward.” 

He turned his head away once more, the guilt and anger, at himself, at everything, bubbling in his veins like toxic black sludge, "You should just leave me,” He hissed, body tensing as his heart raced, “Go back to bed.”   

The hand that was still resting on his chest bunched further in the fabric of his shirt, drawing his attention back to you, “I’m not leaving you like this, I love you Crosshair. You’re stuck with me,” You said gently. 

He let out a loud breath of air, one he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding as his eyes scanned your face. As always there was nothing but openness in your face, you meant every word you had said to him. 

When it was clear he wasn’t going to say anything you continued, “I know you think you deserve to be punished for the rest of your life, but you don’t. And I’m going to keep telling you that until you believe it.”  

He bristled for a moment, on instinct, the desire to push you away, to demand you just leave him alone was almost overwhelming but only for a moment. It faded nearly as fast as it had come. He was so used to everyone leaving him alone when he told them off, but you’d always stayed. Truthfully, he didn’t want you to go. He wanted you to stay, always. 

There were so many things he wanted to say at that moment, emotions he didn’t even begin to know what to do with bubbling in his throat. What came out instead was his typical snark, “You’re a pest.”  

The brilliant smile you flashed him was worth every pain he’d ever experienced in his short life, “Yes, but I’m a lovable pest,” you replied as you pulled him back in closer to you. 

“Hmm,” he grunted softly, unable to stop the smirk that was growing on his face before he wrapped one arm around your shoulders. He lifted the other hand to your jaw, tipping your face up to his own before he closed the distance between the two of you. 

He felt you smile against his lips for a moment before you deepened the kiss, raising up on your tip toes to be closer to him. He moaned softly, his thumb stroking the soft skin of your jaw as he nipped gently at your lower lip. Much too soon for his liking, you pulled away from him, a gentle smile on your face as you looked up at him. He simply frowned, eyes narrowing at the sudden distance between the two of you. He was once again overwhelmed with the feeling of never being able to get enough of you. 

“Come back to bed, my love,” You said softly, hands trailing down his arms until your fingers interlocked with his. You gave him a gentle tug and he followed without hesitation, all of his previous worries forgotten for the moment. At that moment, there was only you. And he was powerless against you, he always had been, and truthfully he didn’t mind. He would do anything to make you happy. Even if that meant having to confront his own fears. He could do it, with you, for you. 

You were both silent as you made your way back up to your bedroom, trying to not wake anyone else. Once the bedroom door closed behind him you turned back towards him, his hand still clasped in your own. You smiled softly at him as you backed up towards the bed, pulling him along with you. You sat once your knees hit the back of the bed, looking up at him expectantly. He didn’t waste another moment, moving swiftly he wrapped his arms around you, smirking at the giggle that escaped you as he rolled the two of you over onto the bed until you were a tangle of limbs. He tightened his hold on you as you snuggled into him, your head pillowed on his chest, right over his racing heart. This time though, it was racing for a completely different reason, not one of fear. 

Neither of you said anything for a long moment, the only sound was your combined breaths and the waves of the ocean floating in through the open window. It was peaceful, and being here with you was really the only place he ever wanted to be. He just wished so desperately that his thoughts would stop tormenting him in his sleep and ruining the peace he’d found with you. 

As if sensing his sudden uptick in anxiety you spoke, head still resting on his chest while your free hand traced gentle patterns across his abdomen, “What’s one thing you can hear?”

Crosshair knew what you were doing. He recognized the tactic instantly, but usually, you used it on the nights when his dreams were so bad it woke you both up. When his system was completely in fight-or-flight mode. But even though he was relatively calm now, he still felt his heart rate slow as he focused on your words. His nightmare from earlier began to fade away into the furthest corners of his mind.   

“The ocean,” He answered quietly as he let his hand trail down the line of your body: arm, rib cage, waist, hip, thigh, knee. Back and forth, focusing entirely on the feeling of being with you. The softness of your skin was grounding, confirmation that he was here, that he was safe. 

“Something you can smell?” You continued your voice a gentle whisper that he felt rather than heard.  

“Your hair,” Clean, something warm, like sunshine, and fresh like the spray of the ocean.  

You chuckled softly, as your hand stilled on his abdomen, fisting once more in the fabric of his shirt, "Something you can feel?” 

“You.” 

His answers were usually always the same. Because when you were around you were all he could think of. Even when you weren’t physically with him he could still feel you, in his very soul, as though you’d become a part of him. In his darkest moments, you were always there. It was as if something clicked in that moment, maybe with you by his side, he could make it through. Maybe the future didn’t have to be as dark as his past. 

His eyelids were beginning to feel heavy as he listened to the sound of your breathing, as he focused on the lines of your body pressed into his own. He let his head tilt down to rest against you, his nose pressed into your hair, breathing in the familiar and calming scent of you. 

“I’ve got you Crosshair,” You said softly, “We can get through this together.”

For the first time in a long time, he felt a very small spark of hope. Maybe he could learn to let you in, to let you help him in those moments when he felt weak instead of running. As he drifted off to sleep he wrapped his arms tighter around you, unwilling to ever let you go. He felt your own arms tighten in response as your breathing began to even out. The last coherent thought he had before he drifted off to sleep was that you were right, you were in this together. 

This time the nightmares didn’t find him in his sleep. And when he woke up in the morning you were still wrapped in each other’s arms. Exactly where you had always belonged. 

[livin-life-to-the-coolest]

All credit goes to original author. I just admired the work and wanted to help give it more eyes.

TBB Imagines #1 {Wrecker}

Imagine Wrecker trying your baking for the first time.

In hindsight, he should’ve anticipated this.

As it is, Wrecker feels as though he could sprint to the other side of Pabu in record time if only to escape the embarrassment flooding his being. 

It had started innocently enough; you offered him a cookie after dinner and he graciously accepted, promptly shoving the entire treat into his mouth in one fell swoop, only to be pleasantly surprised by the burst of molten, sugary goodness coating his tongue. 

He had moaned. Openly. Not only in front of you, but in front of his family too. 

Hunter coughed into his beverage. Omega laughed, suggesting that he eat another one and savor it this time.

And you…

Well, he has yet to look at you. 

But judging by your silence, he’s probably messed up your perception of him.

“She’s pretty good at baking, yeah?” Omega cuts through the haze of Wrecker’s internal self-pity. 

“Uh, yeah. Yeah!” He finally forces himself to turn his head and face you and…

You’re beaming. Your lips are pulled into a glorious smile and he thinks your radiance alone could stop wars, could change the hearts of even the most sinister individuals.

Hells, he thinks he could overthrow the Empire at this very moment.

“Really?”

The question catches him off guard and he suddenly wants to be at the receiving end of your smiles for as long as he can. The embarrassment is forgotten, now replaced with a flutter of warmth in his chest and he wonders what he was even worried about in the first place. 

When one of his brothers coughs again, Wrecker realizes his jaw is slack and that your expectant expression merits a response. He gulps despite how dry his mouth feels and nods with as much conviction as he can muster.

“Best damn cookies I’ve ever had,” he says, promptly reaching for another one from the table. 

He misses the way you look down at your lap, smiling sheepishly as you tuck a strand of hair behind an ear. Instead, he munches on the cookie slowly this time, savoring every bite before swallowing. 

“Thank you,” you say before pushing the plate closer to him. “There’s more in the oven, too.”

Mid-bite, Wrecker blinks at you once before swallowing, the corners of his mouth stretching into a grin.

He thinks he could get used to this.

A/N: Don't mind me as I clear my google drive of unfinished/abandoned drabbles. Labeling them as 'imagines' seems to be more fitting anyway. LMK if this presentation works or not ♡

Masterlist

[livin-life-to-the-coolest]

Note: All credit goes to original author.

Hi hi!! Can you please do one where crosshair and Hunter are both crushing on their Jedi general, who is a total scaredy cat and shy and of course totally oblivious to their feelings. I can only imagine the absolute drama and chaos a love triangle between these two would be, with how competitive they are with each other 😭😭

Oblivious

Pairings: Hunter x gn! Reader x Crosshair

Summary: Crosshair and Hunter start fighting, again, but about you and this time you hear about it. Now not only are they apologizing, buy they're asking you to choose and are now trying to probe who's better... oh boy...

Warnings: NO CLONECEST AT ALL, love triangle, mainly fluff, flirting, sensual touches maybe, reader picks both

Word count: 965

“Eep!”

A loud squeal fell from your lips as several bugs flew towards your face, you swatted them away, but ended up running behind Crosshair, as he was closest to you at that moment. “Hate bugs…” You muttered, hearing the man chuckle as he turned and looked down at you.

“You're a Jedi Master and yet you're scared of a few bugs? I don't get it.” The man huffed, and you rolled your eyes. “I am not scared! I just- get grossed out easily.” You muttered, sticking out your bottom lip as you pouted.

You were still walking as you talked with him, no longer paying attention to your surroundings which in turn made you trip on a rock. You started stumbling forward, and Crosshair was about to catch you, but a pair of muscular arms wrapped around you first, tugging you back onto your feet.

You could tell it was Hunter who had saved you from a broken nose, so you spun around to thank him, a big smile on your face as you leaned up and kissed his cheek. “Thanks hunt.” You muttered, cheeks going red after you realized what you had done.

Another squeak fell from your lips, and you muttered an apology before speed walking away, unknowing that Crosshair and Hunter were having a bit of a glaring contest after you had left.

The rest of the team could tell that both Crosshair and Hunter had feelings for you. Echo, Wrecker, Tech? yeah they all knew. But you? you had no clue.

Every action you did, whether it was just bending over to grab something, or leaning over Hunter’s seat during briefings, every action you made drove Crosshair and Hunter crazy. And they started fighting, though typically away from your earshot.

After you got back to the Marauder, you had decided to relax your nerves with a bit of a shower. When it was done, you were about to exit, until you heard Crosshair and Hunter arguing outside the fresher… about you.

“You have no idea who she’d pick! Besides, I'm the better kisser.” Hunter argues, and you could hear Crosshair roll his eyes from behind the door.

They argued more about some random shit before you finally opened the fresher door, and they both turned to look at you, eyes wide as they stared. “Uh… hey guys…” You muttered, trying to squeeze between them as you tried to sneak back to your bunk.

Obviously there wasn't really a point in sneaking, as they both held your waist and kind of held you between them.

You gulped.

“Well you’ve heard it, we love you, and we want you. So who do you pick?” Crosshair sneered, sliding two fingers under your chin as he forced you to look at him. Your face was beet red, and you glanced away, unable to find words.

“Crosshairs right, you gotta pick.” Hunter murmured in your ear, holding your hand in his as he placed it on his chest. You could feel his racing heart beat, and yet again you gulped, your nerves taking over your body as you chose flight.

You pushed them both away and bolted out of the Marauder, force jumping up into the nearby tall trees to clear your mind.

Cuz holy shit what the fuck.

Not only did they both love you and you had NO idea, but they wanted you to pick? you weren’t even sure if you HAD feelings for them. Hunter was amazing, and so kind to you and he always made sure you were alright when it came to talking to other generals or even other clones. But Crosshair?

Crosshair was so different. He was snarky, rude, and standoffish. For months when you had first joined them he refused to even talk to you, and when you’d give an order he'd scoff and walk away, only doing it when Hunter told him he had too.

So really you had no idea Crosshair even LIKED you to begin with, since he was such an ass. And yet you liked him anyway.

You had no idea what to do…

For weeks after that, Crosshair and Hunter would constantly be one upping each other, showing off their skills, or flirting and using different pickup lines. Every time you'd make up an excuse to leave, or you'd just laugh and walk away.

But this needed to stop.

It was hindering the way you performed on missions for the council, and even they were getting suspicious.

So you mustered up all your courage and you pulled Hunter and Crosshair aside one day, pushing them into the cockpit of the Marauder when no one else was inside it.

“Okay enough you two!” YOu exclaimed softly, crossing your arms over your chest. “You are both making it impossible for me to do anything mission wise! I like you both, alot, but you can’t just expect me to pick. So quit it.” You ordered, raising your voice a little to get your point across…

Which seemed to work when you saw their shocked faces.

They looked at each other, and nodded in a silent agreement before turning to you. “We're sorry for making you feel like that Y/n, I guess we- we really weren’t paying attention to how it was affecting you… so again we’re sorry.” Hunter spoke up, and you smiled, nodding before turning to Crosshair.

“We won’t make you choose, and… we will give you space.” He sighed, but you shook your head. “Oh I've already chosen.” You stated, crossing your arms over your chest as moth mens eyes widened.

“Oh?” Crosshair asked, and you nodded.

“I choose both. So you’ll just have to share with me.” You started, grinning at them before you opened the cockpit doors.

“Back to work! plebs.”

➺

Tag list:

Hunter:

Crosshair:

@nyctophobiart

Tbb:

@moomoog017 @only-my-unexistent-fiances

[livin-life-to-the-coolest]

I'm Not An Angel Chapter 1 An Avengers/Supernatural Imagine

Summary: You were fully prepared when you fell from Heaven. Fully prepared to peace out and allow Heaven to strive with information you gave, what you weren't expecting was to fall into the hands of some very interesting humans that call themselves the Avengers. Maybe they can help with the Angels that are coming to kill you. Or maybe you have to leave before you can't run anymore.

I’m Not An Angel 

Avengers Imagine 

Chapter 1

Authors note: Let me know what you think!

You gasped as another hallway closed before you. “No no no!” You muttering turned to screaming as you banged on the wall. You could hear their footsteps coming towards you. You took deep breaths hoping that the allowed air would give you quicker decision making skills. “Come on come on.” Looking around you couldn’t see an escape, unless...oh no. That was such a bad idea. Hearing the footsteps coming closer you realized it was the only idea you had. Your only way out. 

“Y/N! Stop! You know there is no way out of this. You’re either with us or against us. Join us, you could be essential in creating peace in heaven again.” You looked to him, hearing the hope in his voice and the smile on his face. He truly believed you would join them. He saw that you had no options. Did he really think you were too cowardly to do it. He clearly didn’t know you well enough. “Y/N I love you, please join me.” You glared at him. He was the only other angel that felt emotions so it was bound to happen that the two of you would end up together. You had been with him for a good century at least. When you found out of his plans to riot heaven and get rid of your Father, you had fought and it had put a huge strain on your relationship. This was the first time he had said those words in six months, when this all started. You had played nicely at first, playing the part of supportive girlfriend, a rebel angel. Then when it was found out that you were keeping information from them and sending it off to the angels that refused to join you were hunted. This is how you are here now. Running for your life before the brothers and sisters you had known your whole life tortured and killed you. “This isn’t right Luke! You must know that! What would Father think!” 

“He’s not here! He left Y/N! He is gone! He abandoned us! Let’s rebuild heaven the way it should be. Closed off from the other species. It should only be us. You and I could make heaven what it should be! What we’ve always wanted it to be. Please stay with me.” He stepped closer to you, reaching out for your hand. You looked up, looking from his hand to his eyes. Those beautiful eyes that used to sparkle with joy when he would tell you jokes or when you would check on the guests of heaven, when the two of you would tell each other stories at night while watching the people below. These eyes that looked at you with such desperation. The eyes that you no longer trusted. You felt a tear slide down your cheek as you looked at the man you truly did love. Making a quick mental decision you spoke. “I’m sorry.” With those words spoken you lunged your angel blade into the floor below you. Watching as cracks formed. You repeated the action until the cracks began to crumble. Once you were certain the floor was going to fall you took a breath, dreading your next necessary action. You quickly pulled your blade up behind you beginning to carve into your wings. You let out a pained scream as blood began to pour through the searing pain. You had successfully gotten them off and were pulling your grace out when the ground gave out. Allowing you to fall away from your siblings. You heard Luke screaming and reaching out for you as you continued to fall. You gasped as the pain threatened to knock you out. You had to get your grace out! It was the only way you would be safe! Sucking in a deep breath you quickly ripped the rest of your grace out. Your breathing picked up as you picked up speed as you fell to Earth. You felt your skin begin to burn at the speed. You had always hated falling, it was one of the reasons it had taken you so long to learn to fly. You watched as your home disappeared from view and Earth became dangerously close. You estimated you had two minutes before you would slam into the ground and die. There was no chance of survival in your now human state. Without grace to heal you, you were done for. You closed your eyes and allowed the darkness to embrace you. At least Heaven wouldn’t fall due to your actions. You could only hope your information got to the others. Father please let Heaven be saved.” Was your last thought as you lost conscience. 

Avengers Pov 

The Avengers were in the middle of a quite difficult battle. Tony never would admit it out loud but, thank God Loki was no on the team! Loki had been giving the monster in front of them quite a few detrimental blows. At this rate as long as he wasn’t stopped the battle would end soon. Thor was also there, gladly helping his brother. Having Loki join the team had been a long process, but at this point they had actually come to consider him a good friend. Tony was snapped out of his thoughts as one of the monster's goons hit him hard enough to send him flying into the building behind him. “Eyes up Iron Man.” He heard Captain’s joking tone, though there was a hint of concern there. 

“Got it Cap, I’m fine, hey hit that poll with your shield. It will take out quite a few of them.” Tony spoke as he now had a clearer view of the battle around them. 

“Got it!” Cap did as he was told and did successfully take out ten of them. They kept fighting occasionally helping each other out if they were out of their own area. Loki and Thor hit the monster in front of them, with a mix of power that took the monster out immediately. Thor held his hand out expecting a high five, forgetting that Loki was still new to Earth. He watched him strangely. “What are you doing?” 

“It is a high five brother! It’s to congratulate each other on our accomplishments.” Loki watched curiously as he returned the high five, as though waiting to see if something exciting happened. 

“That’s it?” 

“Well yes, it’s just supposed to be fun.” Loki rolled his eyes at his silly brother. 

“Whatever you say brother.” They both looked up when they heard something. They were still looking up when the others came to join them, frowning at the brothers who had not moved from their spots staring at the sky. “Do you hear that brother?” 

“Aye. Something powerful is coming towards us quickly.” They both continued to watch, equally preparing to fight whatever it is. “Maybe it comes in peace?” 

“We can’t be sure, we don’t attack until we know though.” 

“What are you two talking about?” Steve was the one to ask. Thor cast a quick glance to them before looking back to the sky. 

“Something is coming. It’s powerful whatever it is.” 

“Wait how do you two know this?” Tony spoke up walking closer as though maybe he would be able to hear it. 

“We can hear and sense it. It sounds almost like a high whistling noise, mixed with fire. You wouldn’t be able to  hear it if you are humans.” Loki spoke up, never breaking eye contact with the sky. 

“Well should we be preparing for another fight?” Clint asked as he wiped Alien gunk off of his bow. Loki’s frown deepened as he concentrated on the rapidly approaching figure. 

“I don’t know. I’m sensing something, feminine? Do you sense that brother.” 

“Yes. I believe it is something gentle coming our way, but powerful. We should not underestimate whatever it is.” Finally they all saw it. A little light that was shooting right towards them. They all tensed ready to see what they needed to do. The light came bolting towards them. 

“What is that!” Tony yelled as the light became brighter. Loki and Thor’s frowns deepend in confusion at how tiny the figure was. 

“Thor could that be-

“A fairy.” Thor confirmed. Thor held out his hands as the figure landed oddly gentle in his hand. A tiny little creature, that from what they could see, a young woman with silky Y/H/C, and soft S/T layed in his hand. She was tiny and looked frail, though it looked as though she had been through some sort of rough battle, giving the indication that she was tougher than she looked. From the knowledge spoken by Thor and Loki the tiny creature in front of them was incredibly powerful. It was just hard to be leery when she was so cute and tiny. Anytime she moved on Thor’s hand these little sparkles would move around her (think Tinkerbelle). Steve smiled looking down at her. 

“She’s kind of cute.” Tony looked up weirded out. 

“She’s kind of weird.” 

“So are we in agreement she’s a fairy?” Natasha looked around for confirmation. Thor and Loki continued to stare at the feminine creature. 

“That is our best guest. To be honest though, from what we’ve heard while fairies do contain a large amount of magic, they’re not powerful creatures. The power coming off of this one is intense, enough to rival both Loki and I. Which indicates that isn’t what she is at all.” Thor looked to Loki for confirmation. Loki nodded leaning in closer to you. 

“She’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before.” Loki smirked watching Loki. 

“Could this be love Loki?” He scoffed looking up at Tony. 

“Oh yes, it’s almost as if she fell out of the sky and right into my hands.” 

“You mean your brothers hands.” 

“Story of my life.” 

“What was that brother?” 

“Nothing Thor, we should probably get her inside so when she wakes up it’s not in the middle of a chaotic city.” The others agreed and made their way back towards the Avengers Tower. 

“Here Tony I’ll take her.” Tony gently maneuvered the small creature into Steve’s hands. Steve smiled in wonder as the little sparkles glimmered around you. It felt like a childlike fascination. You seemed so pure and innocent. If he looked really close he could see the tiny blush on your cheeks. He ran a gentle finger along your cheeks. Fascinated as more sparkles ran across his finger just by touching you. You were mesmorizing. 

“She’s fascinating isn’t she?” Steve looked up to see Loki smiling at him and then looking to you. 

“I’ve never seen anything like her.” 

“Neither have I. I can’t wait for her to wake up so we can learn more about her.” 

“You don’t mean to extract information right?” Loki looked at him confused by the idea. 

“What? No, no, I’m not like that anymore. I’m not even sure I could have done that to someone like her anyway. So tiny and helpless. She’s different from humans. I’ve always been more interested in people like her. I just hope we can ask her questions and learn about her. If she is as powerful as Thor and I believe then maybe she would be useful to the Avengers. Steve smiled. 

“Look at you recruiting. Never knew you had it in you.” Loki rolled his eyes, 

“Please, I almost took over a planet, a little recruiting is child's play. Not to mention I’m the God of Lies. Convincing people to do things is nothing.” 

“Key word you almost took over the planet. Almost.” Steve patted Loki on the back before laying you on a pillow and putting a blanket over you. 

They got up to join the others. “You guys hungry? I’m going to order takeout so we’re here when the pixie wakes up.” Tony spoke up pointing to your direction. 

“That’s awful considerate of you Tony.” 

‘Hey I”m not trying to give the girl a heart attack or anything.” 

“What do you think happened to her?” Everyone looked to Clint. He was staring at you. “I mean, something had to happen for her to fall from the sky like that. We’re assuming she’s an alien right? Fairies don’t fall from the sky. She was trying to get away from something or she fell somehow.” 

One Hour Later

They were sitting around laughing when she began to move. No one noticed at first. She had begun to stretch, it wasn’t until she hissed in pain and mumbled an ‘ouch’ that Steve looked over nudging the others. “Guys, she’s waking up.” They all looked over at the little blanket moving. Moving closer so they formed a circle around her. Waiting for the sprite to wake up. 

Your Pov

Ugh what was happening. Why did you feel so horrible? What the heck had happened to you. You moved around a little hissing at the pain you felt. Wait a second...why was the hair on your neck standing up? Why did you feel like you were being watched? You took a breath, cracking one eye open. Oh dear God, you were definitely being watched. Looking up you saw seven pairs of eyes on you. Wait why were they looking down at you? Looking down at yourself you realized you were the size of a pencil. Oh...wow that hadn’t happened in a while. Normally you only went into your original size when you were meaning to. You supposed you had drifted into your original state due to you falling unconscious...oh no...no no no….heaven, your home, Luke, it was all gone. You would never be able to go back. You looked up to the people around you. “Hello.” You struggled to sit up, but ended up cross legged looking up to them. “Uh...hi? That’s still the term down here right?” You watched confused as they all just continued to stare at you. “Ok, am I really the weirdest thing you all have seen?” 

“Oh uh hi sorry Ma’am. My name is Steve Rogers. What’s your name?” You smiled up at him excited. 

“Hi! Thanks for responding. My name’s Y/N. Can you tell me which planet I’m on? I may or may not have lost consciousness on the way down here.” You watched as the attractive man you had just come to know as Steve Rogers spoke excitedly to you. ‘Aww he’s so much like a child.’ Then again you supposed compared to you he was still a child. 

“Oh yes, of course, you’re on Earth. We’re the Avengers, we protect Earth. May I ask what species you are. We’ve kind of been speculating and we’ve come to think you're some sort of fairy? Though these two say that’s not right. They say you're too powerful for that? Is that true?” You smiled looking around to each of them and then focussing on the two he had pointed to. Oh they were Norse Gods. That’s interesting, you hadn’t seen them in a long time. You had at one time dated one. Focussing you tried to figure out which they would be. You smiled having an idea. 

“The two of you wouldn’t happen to be Thor and Loki of Asgard would you?” The two looked at you surprised. 

“Are you a Goddess? How on Earth would you know us? We would remember you.” You smiled up at them. You just seemed to be all smiles for someone who just lost everything they cared about. Then again you were never one to bring others down due to your misfortunes. 

“Can I assume I was right then? Father used to tell me about you.” The two men leaned in closer to you curious. You watched with curiosity as the green eyed one came closer. The curiosity was enough to match yours. His eyes gleamed in interest. The blonde ones gleamed in fascination. 

“Father? Who is your Father? Are you an Asgaurdian or from a realm near us?” You shook your head waving off their guesses. 

“Oh no, not at all. Sorry I’m not making much sense. My Father is God. He’s all knowing so of course he knows of you two. He always thought you two were interesting and had good stories, so he told me some a few years ago and they kind of stuck. You match the way he described you. Just a lucky guess mixed with some good memories.” You began to take in your surroundings, looking around and starting to stretch. “Are any of you familiar with medical knowledge? I seem to have injured myself on that fall down.” You spoke absentmindedly as you began to attempt the growth process. Bruce raised his hand leaning in as well. 

“Uh yeah I have  quite a bit of medical experience. My name’s Bruce by the way.” You turned back to face him as he spoke. You held out your hand which he shook with one finger. 

“Nice to meet you Bruce, I’m Y/N” He smiled excitedly. 

“Nice to meet you too! Do you mind if I ask you some questions?” You nodded excitedly. 

“I don’t mind at all. I’m a pretty open book.” You took in a deep breath as you began to grow. It wasn’t enough for them to see, but you could surely feel it. 

“So if God’s your dad are you an angel?” You looked up from your focus to watch him speak. 

“Yep!” His eyes widened in amazement. Looking around you saw the others with similar looks that were either amazed or disbelieving. 

“Wow! Really just wow! So what’s heaven like?” 

“Well, the heaven I grew up with was beautiful. Always glowing hues of the rainbow. My personal favorite was the golden hue mixed with that of the sunset. The streets are golden and the clouds are so nice to walk on. It feels like silk. There is so much laughter and happiness. None of the patriots are ever sad, which is just brilliant. Watching the young angels play and learn to fly is always so amazing to watch. My personal favorite is going to visit the different heavens. Seeing everyone’s own version of peace is so intriguing.” You smiled as his smile grew. Looking past him and seeing the golden gleams from the window you gasped in excitement. “Hey Bruce can I sit in your hand?” He nodded a little confused but honored. 

“Yeah sure.” He held out his hand for you and you crawled on. 

“Great! Can you lift your hand up so I can see the window?” He nodded willing to do whatever you said. You gasped as he put you up to see it. The sunset was beautiful from Earth, just as your Father had promised. You sat in his hand and watched, resting your hands on your face. Once you had gotten to watch it for a few minutes Tony broke the silence. 

“So what’s with you and sunsets?” You turned back to the humans minus the two mini God’s. 

“I love all sunsets. Whether they’re on Heaven or Earth. Not to mention I’ve never seen one of Earths before.” You looked back to the sky dreamily. 

“So what’s the angel life like?” You sat back on Bruce’s hand looking to the bearded man. Dang were they all attractive! 

“ It’s awesome most of the time. Though I fear humans get the wrong idea about us. We don’t just sit around playing harps. We’re warriors. We know how to fight. Though I do know some musical instruments as well, not the harp though. Angels are all trained as we grow to be both warriors and show compassion towards our Father’s creations. The one problem is, almost all angels do not have emotions. It wasn’t something most of us were created with. So compassion can easily become difficult for some.” 

“What about you? Do you have emotions?” 

“Yeah I do. I’m one of the few. Whether you consider that lucky or not is up to you.” 

“Why would that be unfortunate? Doesn’t that mean you're more obedient than the others?” 

“Most of the time yes, but it’s hard to kill demons or fight your own siblings to follow orders when you have emotions. Recently they’ve gotten me in a lot more trouble than they’re worth.” 

“So why are you here? How did you fall from Heaven?” 

“Tony! That’s hardly our business!” Steve scolded, hoping they didn’t just offend an angel. 

“It’s my house of course it’s my business.” 

You smiled at the two bickering. Just like you and some of your siblings. “It’s ok I’m not offended. It’s natural to be curious. I’m sure you’re all wondering. I wasn’t forced out, not really. I chose to go for the greater good. Heaven is at war right now and I had information that the bad guys needed. The rogue angels. They would have tortured me and done whatever it took to get that information. So I….oh! Oh oh that’s how I got injured! That’s why my back hurts so much! Geez how did i forget that!” You spoke to yourself towards the end as you suddenly realized that in your desperation you had cut off your wings! 

“Uh Y/N you're growing?” Bruce pointed out. You looked down to realize you were indeed beginning to grow. 

“Oh thanks! Could you set me back on the table please?” 

“Yes, of course.” Upon sitting you down your growing process continued. When it was done you hopped off the table growing to your full height. Now that you were grown they could see your features much better than before. You had bright E/C eyes and your hair was longer and shinier than they had originally thought you wore a beautiful white dress that was cut low on your back but hung comfortably by strings that criss crossed along. The back was simple with little layers that flatter your figure loosely. You were gorgeous even though you clearly had a trying day. Your body and face were caked in dirt and blood. You turned your back to them frowning as you tried to look over your shoulder. You pouted upon seeing where your wings once were. Which was replaced by deep bloody gashes that were currently still seeping blood. Your stomach too had blood on it from where you had torn out your grace. You sat down on the edge of the table as you were overcome by a wave of dizziness. 

“Umm Bruce, still willing to help me? It might be more urgent than I thought.” You tried to laugh it off, but you grimaced as the pain began to increase. Upon getting over his shock Bruce shot up ready to help you. He currently felt like you might just be the most important patient he ever has in his life. 

“Yeah yeah, hey Steve will you carry her to the medical bay for me. She’s going to pass out.” Just as you spoke Steve caught you before you could hit the ground. Let’s hurry! I don’t know how angels work, but I’m sure they aren’t supposed to lose that much blood.” The two ran towards the medical  bay leaving the rest on the couch sitting in variations of shock. 

“So an angel huh?”

[livin-life-to-the-coolest]

Unforgiven Actions

Summary: Merlin finally opens up about his past relationships.

Merlin laughed and joked with the knights as they rode through the forest. He watched as Arthur rolled his eyes at something Gwaine said. He zoned out slightly seeing a Blue Jay fly past him…they had been Will’s favorite. His smile dropped thinking about Will. Will had been dead for five years. No more inside jokes. No more of those goofy smiles. No more whispered I love you’s as they looked at the stars. Merlin would never forget the day he died, It was the worst day of his life. It had taken everything in him to not stay. To not die in agony. Will had been his solace. The one person who made him feel normal. 

‘Merlin’ was snapped out of his thoughts by Arthur saying his name. 

“Yes?”

“What on earth are you thinking about? You look as though you just saw a dog die.” Arthur asked  Merlin laughed it off. Just thinking.

“Again about what?” Arthur asked curiously 

Merlin shrugged “Just home.”

Gwaine spoke up. “As in camelot? We were just there mate no need to be homesick already.” Gwaine jokes. Merlin shook his head

 “Ealdor.” 

Arthur spoke up thoughtfully “You haven't been back since last time have you?” Merlin didn’t look up as he responded. 

“No, I have not.”

Memories are too painful, Merlin thought to himself. He had written to his mom every week since Will died. She understood. That was just the type of relationship her and Merlin had. Her feelings were not hurt by his lack of presence. Arthur however looked irritated. 

“Merlin, your mother is single and getting older. You should go see her.” Merlin rolled his eyes smiling. Arthur had really grown to like his mom and thought of her as a mother of his own. Merlin knew this is why he felt so strongly about this. 

“That isn’t the type of relationship my mother and I have Arthur. She knows it’s painful for me to go back there and she’s ok with it. She’s the one that sent me to Camelot in the first place.” Merlin pointed out. Arthur rolled his eyes. 

“Eldor is on our way. We’ll stop in.” Merlin’s eyes widened. 

“That’s not necessary.” Arthur paused looking at him skeptically. 

“Is there a reason you don’t want to go?” For once Merlin could tell Arthur was actually trying to be cautious of Merlin’s feelings. Merlin sighed trying to decide how much to say. 

“It’s too painful.” The rest of the knights got quiet. The teasing atmosphere was gone. He could feel eyes on him. 

“What do you mean it’s too painful? To see your mother?” Arthur asked, genuinely confused. Merlin shook his head struggling to find the words. 

“No…it’s…” He paused, not sure of how to say it without it being obvious. Merlin and WIll had always kept their feelings under the radar of the people in the town. They had seen what happened to people who were found out. The things they were called, the things that were done to them. You learned quickly to keep those thoughts to yourself. Merlin had never spoken about Will after the day he died. Partially because Arthur thought Will was a warlock, partially because he didn’t want his feelings to show when talking about him. 

He looked up seeing Arthur watching home with a certain amount of concern. “Will. I haven’t been back since Will.” Merlin couldn’t even say the words out loud. Will was dead. He couldn’t-wouldn’t say it. He couldn’t imagine going to see Will’s grave, going to see Will’s mother who would  cry and hug him and talk about how much WIll had loved him. Will’s sister who looked far too much like Will for Merlin to handle. It was like a walking reminder. 

None of the knights knew about Will. They hadn’t been there. They didn’t know who he was. Merlin never talked about him. Arthur looked down, Arthur remembered. “I see. I’m sorry Merlin. I hadn’t thought about it.” Merlin shrugged. 

“Why would you? It was a long time ago. I’m surprised you remember.” 

Gwaine rode up next to Merlin. “So who’s Will?” Gwaine asked, trying to ease the tension. 

Merlin shrugged. “Just an old friend.” 

“Did the two of you have a falling out or something?” Gwaine teased lightly. Merlin wasn’t offended, but he also had no desire to talk about it. 

“No no nothing like that.” 

“Then what happened for you to not want to see him anymore? You don’t seem like a grudge holder Merlin.” 

Merlin chuckled slightly. “Will probably would have said differently, but no not with you guys at least.” Merlin looked up at Gwaine, he knew Gwaine. Knew that Gwaine cared and that Gwaine would never try to cause him unnecessary pain. Gwaine didn’t know. 

“Oh the two of you must be close.” Gwaine said excited to learn more about Merlin. Merlin was his best friend, but he knew very well Merlin was tight lipped about his life for reasons Gwaine had never understood. Merlin’s face changed ever so slightly. Gwaine saw it for just a second before Merlin had gotten rid of it. 

“Yeah, we were.” Gwaine let it go, not asking any more questions. The other knights must have caught on as well since no one else asked Merlin about Will. It wasn’t missed by Gwaine that Arthur had stopped talking altogether. Clearly deep in thought. 

They had been riding for a few more hours. Small talk was back and the tension was gone. Lancelot said something that made Percival laugh. Gwaine watched as Arthur occasionally through perceptive glances at Merlin who refused to look over. Gwaine would have to find out about that later. There was clearly something that Arthur and Merlin knew that the rest of the knights had not been privy to. Gwaine was not one to be left out. 

After dinner when everyone was talking Gwaine sat by Leon and asked quietly. 

“So who’s Will?” Leon looked surprised at the question. 

“Why are you asking me?” Gwaine shrugged. 

“You’ve been a knight the longest. You’ve known Merlin and Arthur the longest. Thought if anyone knew it would be you.” Leon nodded. 

“I’ve known both of those guys a long time. Merlin has always been really quiet about his life. I consider Merlin a good friend, but I couldn’t really tell you anything about his life. I’ve never met his family. I’ve never been to his town. I do know that Arthur went with Merlin to his hometown when his mom showed up to ask Uther for help. Uther wouldn’t do it so Arthur went to help. It was a really quiet thing. No knights, just Merlin, Arthur, Morgana, and Gwen.” Gwaine looked shocked. 

“The witch came along?” Leon chuckled. 

“She was actually quite lovely before whatever happened to her happened. I’m actually pretty sure that her and Merlin had a thing. Never confirmed and I would never dare ask Merlin about it, but the two of them were really close. They would have made a cute couple.” Gwaine’s eyes were about to pop out of his head. 

“Merlin and the witch? Merlin could do way better.” Leon laughed. 

“No, they were really cute. Both were very fierce and determined. Both stood up for the ones who couldn’t stand up for themselves. They weren’t afraid of the King. I would never say it to anyone, but I always had a lot of respect for the two of them. They could have been unstoppable if she hadn’t become evil.” Gwaine listened closely. He wished he could have seen it. He always wished Merlin had found someone to love. He had always wondered what kept the man from finding someone. 

“Is that why Merlin doesn’t court anyone?” Leon sighed, smiling. 

“You know I’ve always wondered the same thing. Merlin would have no shortage of women if he would allow it. I’ve heard the whispers around the castle. All the ladies love Merlin, but he just seems so uninterested. I’ve even heard from a few that Merlin turns them down.” Gwaine was shocked! 

“What!” He spoke in a hush tone. Leon nodded amused. 

“I can’t imagine Merlin turning anyone down, but apparently he does.” Gwaine laughed. 

“I am learning so much about our friend tonight.” 

“What are the two of you laughing about over there!” Arthur called over smiling. 

“Merlin, how could you not tell us what a heartbreaker you are!” Gwaine spoke through laughter. Merlin scoffed as he watched the two. 

“What are the two of you talking about?” He said through a smile. Arthur looked at Merlin flabbergasted. 

“Merlin! You two cannot be talking about Merlin! He can hardly talk when women are in his presence.” 

Merlin watched amused as Gwaine and Leon explained all the ladies that were fond of him. He couldn’t deny it. He had to turn down many fine ladies. He just wasn’t one for love anymore. He had lost Will then he had lost Morgana and then he had lost Freya. He just couldn’t do it anymore. Love wasn’t for him. 

He chuckled, shaking his head as Arthur gaped at him as though he were a fish out of water. “Merlin! How could you not have said anything? I had no idea you had so many suitors.” Merlin shrugged and laughed. 

“They aren’t my type.” Arthur looked at him in disbelief. 

“All the maids of the castle aren’t your type? I had no idea you were so picky Merlin” Merlin laughed once again. Finding the entire situation funny. 

“It’s not really me being picky. Love just doesn’t interest me so I don’t bother with it.” The knights watched curiously. Merlin had never spoken about love when it came to himself. Never once. It was surprising to hear him talk about it and in such a strange way. 

“What do you mean you have no interest?” Lancelot spoke up surprised. “I always thought everyone wanted love.” Merlin shrugged. 

“I think once you’ve experienced it and then you lose it. It doesn’t matter very much anymore.” Merlin shrugged away a thought. Lancelot watched in surprise and sadness. 

“I never knew you had been in love.” Merlin smiled sadly. 

“There’s not much to say I guess.” Merlin shrugged, smiling sadly. 

“When were you in love? I’ve known you for years and I never even knew you were in a relationship.” Gwaine spoke with a mixture of sadness and surprise in his voice. Merlin looked up at Gwaine. 

“It was long before I met you Gwaine. It was someone from Eldor. Then someone from Camelot, and then someone passing through. Once you’ve lost love three times you kind of give up. You realize love isn’t for you.” The knights grew quiet, absorbing what Merlin had said. 

“From your hometown? Did I meet her when I visited!” Arthur asked bewildered. Merlin sighed not quite knowing how this conversation would go. 

“You did meet him. He saved your life.” Merlin spoke quietly, not willing to look up. The knights were all quiet. Had Merlin said he… 

“Will?” Arthur asked quietly. His hands were folded against his chin as he thought. Merlin nodded, eyes finally looking up. He could see the hurt and despair in his eyes. Not knowing what Arthur was going to say. 

“Yes.” Both men were quiet. After a pause Arthur spoke again. 

“I am so sorry Merlin. I can’t imagine the pain you went through.” His words clearly affected Merlin. Merlin’s eyes began to water. He looked so shocked. 

“You…you don’t hate me? You don’t find me disgusting?” Arthur frowned, confused. 

“Why would I find you disgusting?” Arthur asked, genuinely confused. 

“Everyone does when they find out.” All of the knights were confused. They stared at Merlin who had a look of confusion at their lack of hatred. 

“Merlin, why do you think we would hate you mate? You’re our friend.” Gwaine asked, confused. Merlin shrugged as though it were obvious. 

“It’s a huge reason I don’t have many friends. Once they found out I’ve been in love with a man before…it didn't go well for me. It’s one of the reasons I don’t live in Ealdor anymore. My mother wanted me to leave because she was scared about what would happen. Those types of people aren’t accepted.” The knights watched sadly as Merlin spoke. 

“You can’t honestly think we would hate you over a preference right?” Lancelot asked. Merlin was quiet. 

“I’ve seen this happen to a lot of good men. Nothing shocks me anymore.” The knight's blood ran cold at Merlin’s words. This means Merlin had witnessed bad things happen to people like him before. 

“I’m surprised you would fall in love with a wizard.” Merlin was quiet as he stared at Arthurn clearly contemplating. 

“I don’t see anything wrong with magic. Will using magic didn’t bother me.” Arthur felt his heart clench at Merlin's words.

“Merlin, you know magic is evil. You have seen it first hand.” Merlin shook his head determined, but gentle. 

“No, I have seen people misuse magic. Will was never one of those people. He saved your life, remember? Will never used his magic for anything but good. Magic is a weapon, completely based on its user. It is not good or evil.” Arthur was confused at Merlin's words, but Merlin continued. 

“If I had known earlier about Morgana I really feel I could have helped her and she probably would have never turned into the evil person she is today. It’s all about intent. Will’s intentions were pure. Some people are even born with magic. It’s what you choose to do with it.” Arthur frowned. 

“If this is how you felt about magic why did you not say anything earlier?” Merlin snorted. 

“I would most certainly not be alive right now if I had voiced those opinions. Uther kills anyone who disagrees.” Arthur nodded, he knew how his father had been before he died. 

“Why not voice it to me though? I’m not my father.” Merlin was quiet. He contemplated what he would say to Arthur. He stared at him carefully observant. 

“Do you want my honest answer?” Arthur nodded. Merlin sighed before speaking. 

“It was the day Will died. I saw the way you looked at him. The hatred in your eyes. The disgust, I didn’t judge you for it because I know how you were raised, but it made me realize this wasn’t something I would be able to be honest with you about. You were so cold to Will as he died. I knew that magic had hardened your heart. Not to mention what you said to me at Will’s funeral.” Arthur frowned thinking. 

“What did I say at the funeral?” Merlin took another breath clearly preparing for an argument. 

“You said I should have told you about Will. That I should not have kept this secret from you. I will be completely honest Arthur the only reason I continued on as your servant during that time was because of my Mother. My mother saw goodness in you. She knew that your words had hurt me and that Will’s death had left me broken, but she believed my destiny was intertwined with yours. It took me a really long time to trust you after that.” 

Arthur sighed. His heart full of guilt. Looking back he knew how harsh he had come off. He hadn’t thanked Will for his sacrifice, he hadn’t thanked him for saving the village, the only thing he had done was not arrest him, which was mostly due to the fact that he was dying. He knew he had been cold to Will in his last moments and that he had been cold to Merlin for many days after. Which really stung knowing that Merlin had just lost his true love. No wonder Merlin had been so quiet and detached after that. Arthur was surprised Merlin didn’t hate him. He would deserve it. And then on top of all of that to tell Merlin at his Lover’s funeral that he should have sold his lover out? How much colder could Arthur have been? Arthur had written off Merlin’s anger as sadness, but looking back Arthur could see how angry Merlin was at him and Arthur couldn’t blame him one bit. 

“How do you not resent me?” Arthur asked genuinely curious. Merlin stared at him for a long time. Clearly deciding what to say. 

“It depends on the day. Usually around the anniversary of his death or our anniversary I do resent you. It’s hard for me to be nice and happy on those days. I do forgive you Arthur, but some days it’s hard to not remember the people I have lost either by your hand or by your actions.” Arthur was confused. 

“You’re acting as though I’ve hurt other people you loved.” Merlin paused before continuing. 

“You have.” The knights stiffened even more. 

“Who else have I hurt?” 

“Her name was Freya.” Arthur clearly didn’t know the name and Merlin didn’t blame him. She hadn’t been human when Arthur had seen her. 

“I don’t recognize the name.” 

“She was cursed. At night she would transform into this winged beast. You killed her in that state, which I don’t blame you. I know that you were just doing what you thought was right, but that one honestly hurt even more than Will. You were the one that stabbed her. I saw you stab her.” Merlin sounded so tired. He was trying to keep the anger out of his voice as he spoke. He wasn’t normally all that angry at Arthur, but when those memories resurfaced he couldn’t help his anger. 

“The winged beast that attacked the city?” Merlin’s jaw clenched at his words. 

“She wasn’t a ‘winged beast’ , she was a poor girl who had been cursed. She was actually raped by a man and then she killed that man in self defense. When the mother found out she had killed her disgusting son she cursed Freya.” Merlin said tensely. 

Arthur picked up on it immediately. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m truly sorry I killed her. It sounds like an awful situation. I just didn’t know. If I had known how much she meant to you I never would have laid a hand on her.” Merlin stared at Arthur, he could tell Arthur was telling the truth and maybe it did help with the pain of his best friend killing someone he loved, but it didn’t change the fact she was dead. Merlin nodded his thanks to Arthur, finding himself unable to speak. 

“Was she the only woman you ever loved?” Gwaine asked gently. He wanted them to move past Freya at least for now, clearly Merlin needed the reprieve. Merlin looked up a very small smile coming to his face. 

“No she wasn’t.” Gwaine’s face became intrigued. 

“You loved another? What was she like? Did I know her?” Gwaine asked enthusiastically. He had always wanted Merlin to find someone. It was nice to know that at some point he had. 

Merlin chuckled at his friend's enthusiasm. “You actually do know her.” 

All of the knights leaned in surprised. 

“We all know her?” Leon asked, confused. Merlin nodded a strange look crossing his face. 

“Who is it?” Percival asked curiously. 

“Morgana. Morgana was the first woman I ever loved.” Merlin stared at the ground waiting for the responses. The overall looks were that of shock, some were confused. 

“How could you love the witch?” Gwaine asked, confused. Merlin’s mouth twitched in irritation. He usually never got mad at Gwaine, but calling someone he loved a witch was pushing it. 

“She wasn’t evil before. When we were in love she was full of kindness, generosity, and justice. She wouldn’t let anyone be mistreated who didn’t deserve it. She fought for those who were accused of practicing magic. Always telling Uther that the crime did not match the punishment, especially when there wasn’t sufficient proof that they were actually practicing magic. She came to Ealdor simply because we were friends. She risked her safety for people she didn’t know. She was everything I wanted to be and someone I cherished in my life.” Merlin spoke lost in thought. Memories of his Morgana flashing through his head. Every laugh. Every smile, every knowing look she would throw at him when she was about to do something rash. 

Everyone listened quietly. None of them knew Merlin could speak so poetically. Clearly he had strong feelings for Morgana. It showed in the way he spoke about her. It was very interesting to some of the knights who had only known Morgana after she was evil, they had never met the version Merlin spoke of, but they wish they had. Arthur stared at Merlin sadly. He remembered Morgana very well. He thought of that Morgana often, he often wished that Morgana still lived somewhere within the current Morgana. 

Leon had a soft look on his face. He remembered that version as well. He hadn’t known her nearly as well as Merlin and Arthur, but he always remembered her being kind and just. She would scold Arthur when he bullied others. She never backed down from a challenge. He was slightly proud to know he had been right that there was a connection between Merlin and Morgana. 

Arthur was quiet. Hundreds of memories ran through his head of Morgana. The Morgana who had been his friend. A few ran through his head of Merlin and Morgana. He had never given the two of them too much thought, but looking back he could see it clear as day now. The longing looks, the bright smiles and laughter between the two. The brief touches. How could he have been so stupid? Something ran through his head at that moment. His eyes widened. 

“You saw Morgause take her didn’t you?” Merlin slowly looked up at his King. Eyes full of sorrow and dread. Eyes that were more tired than Arthur had ever seen. 

“Yes…I was there.” Merlin’s eyes glazed over as he remembered that moment. Those awful moments where he lost Morgana. He always knew that if she ever came back she wouldn’t be the same. That Morgause would poison her soul. Ruin her pure heart. He had silently prayed that she would never be found. That he could remember the version he had loved. Not that he could ever stop loving her. He never would stop loving her. 

Arthur’s eyes were sympathetic. Something that looked strange to Merlin. 

“Merlin, I'm so sorry.” Merlin laughed humorously. Arthur frowned, bewildered at Merlin’s behavior. 

“What are you-” 

“Oh Arthur, you have no clue!” Merlin couldn’t stop laughing. The stress of that time finally caught up to him. “I (laugh) betrayed her (laugh) she was never coming back.” Merlin finally caught his breath. The smile fading off of his face altogether. The knights were silent. Merlin’s behavior was scary to say the least. Nobody had ever seen him like this. 

“What do you mean?” The confusion and fear for Merlin seeped into Arthur’s tone. Merlin stared at the ground. “Merlin.” Merlin finally looked up staring at Arthur. His voice was void of emotion. 

“The curse was connected to Morgana. The only way that curse was going to be lifted was if Morgana died. I poisoned her. I poisoned the woman I loved to save Camelot. You’re welcome.” Merlin's tone was dry. The self loathing evident in his tone. 

Arthur stayed very quiet as he absorbed Merlin’s words. “It wasn’t your fault.” 

Merlin scoffed glaring at Arthur. “Don’t lie to me. It was absolutely my fault.” Arthur pushed back. 

“No it wasn’t. You made an impossible decision in impossible circumstances. You did something that even I as the king do not know that I could do! This was not your fault Merlin!.” Arthur implored Merlin trying so hard to get him to believe him. 

Merlin shook his head clearly angry. A scornful smile on his face. He jumped up pacing. Needing to walk off anger before he took it out on his friends. “Do you not understand! I RUINED her Arthur! She needed me and I poisoned her! Your sympathy should not be with me, it should be with her. You should hate me!” Merlin’s screams echoed in the forest. The knights watched him. Merlin seemed to be slowly breaking down. 

Arthur watched his friend sadly. Watched as he struggled. Arthur slowly stood up and walked over to Merlin. He firmly put his hands on Merlin’s shoulders effectively stopping his pacing. He made sure Merlin was looking at him. “Listen to me. This was not your fault. None of this has ever been your fault. You did what you thought was best. I would never hate you. There is nothing you could ever do to make me hate you. You’re my best friend.” Arthur's voice was low and quiet. It soothed Merlin. Merlin felt the tears fall from his eyes. His anger lessened at Arthurs words. 

“It’s my fault Arthur. It’s all my fault. I should have listened to her. She was scared and I should have listened.” Merlin’s voice was broken. He was struggling to speak as the tears ran down his cheeks. He aggressively wiped them away, not wanting to show weakness in front of the others. Arthur squeezed his shoulders again, leaning in closer. 

“Merlin, none of this is your fault. Morgana made her own choices. She followed Morgause down a dark path. That is not your fault.” Merlin shook his head laughing bitterly as he stared at Arthur. 

“She asked for my help Arthur. I thought I was helping, but I wasn’t. I lied to her because I thought it would keep her safe. I was wrong! She is lost because I was wrong!” Arthur firmly pulled Merlin against him. Holding him close as he cried. 

“It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.” Arthur repeated this until Merlin calmed down. The knights slowly one by one came and held Merlin and Arthur close. While there were many questions the only one that mattered is how do they help Merlin? Arthur and the Knights could only hope that one day Merlin would share more with them and that he would be alright. 

[livin-life-to-the-coolest]

That's Christmas To Me

Summary: You're an angel who just wants her family to be together for Christmas. What will you do to get your way?

Christmas List: Cas, Gabe, Balth, Luce, Mikie, Dean, Sam, Bobby together.

Cas

You put a smile on your face and flew yourself into the part of heaven you knew Cas would be in. "Cas?" You called out as you began your search for him. When you didn't get an answer you continued your trek into his favorite heaven. You could see the red balloon from your angle of the sky. You stayed out of sight of the autistic man in fear you would scare him. You allowed yourself to watch him for a few moments. You could remember when you were a young fledgling and even now at times when you would get upset or distraught or confused or really when any of the human emotions crept up on you. You would come to this place Castiel had shown you and watch the man who had no worries, who felt love for everyone, who could feel that peace and happiness you hoped to have one day.

You heard the flutter of wings behind you and knew you had found the person you were looking for. "Cassie!" You turned and flung yourself against your brother! He picked you up holding you as though you were five again. "Y/N it is so nice to see you again! I missed you so much!" You didn't say anything as you rested your head on his shoulder not ready to let him go. You breathed in his scent and were pleased and not surprised to find it was the same as it had been two thousand years ago when you were fledglings.

Once he finally set you down he told you to follow him you both ended up sitting in the most beautiful soft green grass you had seen. The beautiful blue lake before you was enough to leave you both speechless for a second. You looked to your brother amazed! "Cas did you do this!" He gave you a proud smile before nodding his head. You couldn't help your curiosity "Who's it for?" He looked up at you, this smile was shyer than the one before. "It is for the Winchesters." A knowing smile crossed your face. "I thought we were supposed to give everyone their own heaven?" He looked to you never losing that smile he found he could never get rid of when you were around. "They belong together Y/N, I would never dream of putting them in separate heavens." You laughed at that, the more you thought about what he had said made you laugh harder! "What is it?" Castiel asked genuinely confused. "Cas we don't dream." Upon seeing you laugh again he joined in.

"So what are you here for?" You shrugged looking at him.

"What do you mean? Am I not allowed to visit my big brother?"

"I love it when you visit, I'm just curious to why you showed up randomly, you usually say you will be there in a day or two. You just seem to have an agenda."

You nodded understandingly "Well it's not random. I want to know if you'll come to Christmas with me. We're going to have it at Bobby's house. I'm going to get some of our other siblings to join us. Come on Cas it will be fun." You watched as Cas looked away from the lake giving you his full attention. He then seemed to chuckle at something you couldn't see. "What is it?"

"You seem to think you have to convince me."

Gabe

You smiled as you made your way to Gabriel (he had always been the brother to make you smile in any situation). His back was turned to you as he was flirting with one of the Norse Gods you believed to be Kali the Goddess of Time, Change, Power, Creation, Preservation, and Destruction. You couldn't help but feel slight anger that her kind were still roaming the Earth while your father the overall God was nowhere to be seen. You slowed your pace enough to let the anger go away, along with any negative thoughts of this lady. You tried not to judge her as you knew father would, you remembered father telling you many times in your fledgling years to never judge people. "No matter what they do you will treat them as though they have a clean slate. They are under you and your siblings care, you may guide them along the way but never judge them or think yourself better. If you do your in the wrong as well. They will look up to you, don't let them down."

By the time you made it to your brother you felt refreshed and full of love. You forced your steps to be quieter as you reached your brother, you looked up seeing Kali look at you skeptically, you gave her a playful smile before holding your finger to your lips silently telling her not to give you away. You saw her force her glance away from you to keep distracting Gabriel. You may have been mistaken but you swear you saw a hint of a smile cross her face.

Just as you were about to grab Gabe's sides (you knew he was incredibly ticklish) you felt someone tap your shoulder from behind…"Nice try." You felt Gabes breath in your ear, he was so close you could feel his smug smirk. Your shoulders sagged for half a second and you looked up at Kali who shrugged her shoulders an amused grin on her face before you perked up and turned to look at him with that huge smile on your face he knew so well. "Hey Gabe." He pulled you into a tight hug. He smelled like candy and cinnamon. You smiled at the memories that came with that smell. You let go and turned to Kali who was still watching the scene trying to appear bored (though both you and Gabe could tell she thought the entire thing was sweet).

"How do you always manage to sneak up on me?" He looked at you as though it were obvious "Hello Trickster." You rolled your eyes nudging him in the side. "You should know by now you can't get past the master. You tried enough when we were kids." That caused you both to laugh. You two had spent most of your fledgling years pranking each other. "Part of the reason you're such an expert is because I pranked you." He rolled his eyes fondly before poofing a living room. It was beautiful and extremely fancy with red carpets covering wooden floors, the walls were a pristine white and were complimented by gold podiums supporting each corner of the room. You sighed at your brothers antics "You know we could have just walked to your living room." You said as you sat down on the beautiful white couch across from his. You looked on the glass table to see he had already made you hot chocolate for your visit. You gratefully picked it up and drank while he questioned you. "So what brings my sister to appear in my house unexpectedly, not that I'm complaining."

"I have come to ask you a question." You stated simply-you always liked to make Gabriel guess at what you were thinking, you weren't a fan of giving information to people. They had to work for it.-watching as he pondered whether or not he wanted to play your game. The answer was always yes. "So what is this mysterious question you have come to ask me?" You smiled excitedly leaning forward because of it. "I want you to celebrate Christmas with me!" You watched as his face cleared of all emotion…you felt a small pang enter your chest as you were starting to think he was going to say no. You felt relief at seeing his face turn into a bright smile, "Well how can I say no to my favorite sister?"

Balth

You knew exactly where to find Balthazar because he almost never left his home. You rolled your eyes when you hit his front porch considering you could already hear the music from outside his door. You didn't bother knocking since Balth and you had always been close (though you had been close to all your brothers…and Anna. Too bad she was gone) you flew up to where you could sense Balthazar's grace. He was as always wearing nice clothes with a drink in his hand.

"Balth?" You asked unsure if he would hear you over the ear bleeding music…yep definitely can't hear you. You concluded after watching him continue to dance like an idiot. "Balth!" You yelled getting slightly annoyed. Still no response. After sighing in frustration you simply walked up behind him then taking a few steps back leaving you in safety area. Once you made sure there was plenty of room between the two of you, you held out your hand and blew…which then threw Balth off his feet causing him to have to pull his wings out to catch himself…of course not fast enough he still rolled on the floor quite a bit. You had managed to stay straight faced up until he started laughing while rolling on the ground.

"So what brings my dear younger sister to see me? Besides throwing me into walls." He said the last part in a jokingly bitter way. You smiled at the idea that you couldn't visit your brothers without wanting something out of them. You made a mental note to pop by more often without any reason. "I just wanted to know if you would possibly want to spend Christmas with me."

There was a moment of silent staring before you saw Balthazar smile…"Is that a yes…?" You said hopefully…you watched as he sighed in defeat (remind you it was joking defeat). "I guess." You couldn't help the excitement that climbed through you knowing you were halfway done with your list! So you weren't really thinking about your actions when you jumped into his arms muttering "Thank you thank you thank you!" After a few seconds he hugged you back…'Oh….' You pulled back in embarrassment in showing such excitement in front of Balth. You had always looked up to him and didn't want to make a fool of yourself in front of him…"Sorry about that. I just got excited." You furrowed your brows in confusion when you heard him start laughing-as in full blown laughing!-"Umm…Balth?" This only caused him to laugh harder. "What's so funny?" He was bent over laughing at this point, he finally looked up at you which only caused him to laugh harder. You gave up on trying to get him to talk, so you just stood there with your hand on your hip waiting for him to breathe. "Sorry it's just that you seem to have such an issue showing excitement in front of me. It's not like I'm going to judge you. I'm actually quite flattered you got so excited for me to come." That last part made you blush for reasons that you couldn't really understand.

"Besides remember how we were when we were fledglings?" This caused you both to start laughing hysterically! "Why do you all feel the need to bring that up!" Balth straightened up at the question. "Who's 'you all'?" You paused in your laughter trying to get air to answer him. "Oh I just came from asking Gabe and Cassie if they want to come as well." He nodded having an aha moment. "Just give me the time and place and I'll be there."

Luce

You felt something creep up inside you as you searched for Lucies grace. You couldn't tell if it was nerves or excitement. You hadn't spoken to him in quite a few years and were always worried things would be awkward with all that had been going on around home. You pushed all those thoughts out of your mind as you appeared in front of a broken down house.

You looked around confused as to why Luce was here. Luce had never been one to be humble (occasionally as little fledglings he was to make you feel better about yourself.) You looked around hoping he was home. You made your way to the chipping (your favorite color) door. (Doors color) had always been your favorite color. You opened the door to find the house actually quite beautiful and well put together. It felt very…homey. Quite like Lucifer (you had always felt at home with Lucifer).

You walked further into the house making your way to the living room…no one. You shrugged continuing on through the house. That was when you heard noise coming from another more open room. You made your way down the hall seeing Lucifer in what you assumed was his kitchen. It was quite pretty actually, the walls were a nice yellow outlined with white cabinets, the floor was wooden…or what you assumed would be wooden if there wasn't flour everywhere.

You smiled as you looked up to see Lucifer attempting to make cookies. You couldn't suppress the smile that appeared on your face (Lucifer had always been the one to bake for you or with you when either of you found the desire to eat). You walked up behind him watching as he attempted to mix the ingredients together without spilling them onto his already messy floor. "Would you like some help with that?" You asked just as some of the mix managed to escape from the overflowing bowel. He seemed to freeze with annoyance before turning to see you…"Y/N!" You nodded your head excitedly as he hugged you. "Hey Luci!" You had missed him so much! You hadn't realized exactly how much until now. You held him close not wanting him to see the tears that filled your eyes. (What you didn't know was that Lucifer held you just as close because he didn't want his baby sister to see him cry). Thankfully you both were quite good fakers so by the time you had pulled away you were both smiling brightly.

"How long has it been?" He asked as he handed you the ingredients to start a new batch and continued stirring his. You put your things together in the bowl as you thought "Hmm…a year…two?" He nodded still looking at his contents. "Well however long it's been it's been too long." You nodded in agreement. He was right, you wished you could see him more often, but living with the Winchesters made it difficult to go visit Lucifer…they weren't too fond. "So how are the monkeys?" You rolled your eyes smiling at his nickname for you best friends-they were more like family now-"Dean, Sam, and Bobby are fine, thanks for asking."

You looked up to see him laughing. Before you knew what was coming you had been splashed in the face with cookie dough! "Luce!" He was laughing so hard you were almost positive he was going to hit his head on the oven. You smirked dipping your hand in the mix as well before chucking the mix at him! You tried as angelically possible to not laugh at the shocked look on his face that quickly turned to an amused look. "Oh dear sister you shouldn't have done that." You watched skeptically as walked towards you hands behind his back…"Luce what's behind you back?" When he didn't answer you started to step back…you screamed in surprise as he dumped the entire contents of the bowel on your head! "Luce you jerk!" You were slightly upset but that was quickly fixed when you threw yours on him as well. "Gotcha." You said with a smirk.

You listened as the beeper finally went off for the cookies. There was only one batch due to the complications…"Great their done! They smell good." You pulled them out of the oven and brought them over to where Lucifer had set up decorations. "Can you clean us up now?" You asked in a slightly whiney tone that reminded Lucifer of your fledgling self. He found it adorable then and he still found it adorable now. "Yes yes we can clean up." He said in a mocking tone as he snapped his fingers. You felt the energy flow through you and a comforting warmth replace the sticky sensation as you looked down to find yourself clean and in pajamas. You looked to see Lucifer had also changed. You laughed at the ridiculousness of adult angels sitting around making cookies in their pajamas.

You both made your way to the living room with a plate of cookies and some hot chocolate. You plopped down next to your brother and turned to T.V on. You cuddled into Lucifer who put a protective arm around your shoulder. "Was there a reason you came?" You made a sound of confusion as a response. "Why did you come?" You smiled looking up at his confused demeanor. "Can't I just come to spend time with my big brother?" He smiled before continuing "You can but I know that's not why you're here." You inwardly groaned at how clever Lucifer always had been. "I came to invite you to a Christmas party." You stated as casually as possible hoping that we would be the end of it and he would just say yes. "What's the catch?" He said after a moment of contemplating. You scrunched your face at knowing he had seen through your words…"Our brothers will be there…" Another moment of silence before another question. "What's the other catch?" You cringed knowing there was no way around it. "The parties at the Winchesters and Bobby's."

The silence could have swallowed you and eaten you whole. You looked up nervously to see Lucifer staring into space. You sighed trying to be a good sister. "You don't have to come if you don't want to. I just thought it would be nice to get the family together.-

"Those apes aren't my family."

"Their mine." As much as you loved Luce and didn't care if he joked about the Winchesters you weren't going to let him insult them…"Fine, I'll go for you." You looked up at him in astonishment! "You're going to come!" He smiled gently at you. "I couldn't stand for you to be disappointed on Christmas, especially if I caused it." You hugged him tight. "Thank you Luce."

He jumped on from the couch setting his mug on the table before asking "So who's left on this crazy list of yours?" You scrunched your eyes brows together at the question. "How did you know I had a list?" He laughed at your question before stating "You have been making Christmas Lists since you were old enough to talk." You laughed as well before saying Michael. Lucifer nodded "Good luck with that." You sighed "I'll need it." You said before snapping your fingers changing back into practical clean clothes. "See you tomorrow." You said happily before closing the door. Only two people left…you could do this.

Mikie

Michael made you the most nervous of all! He was your oldest and most stubborn of brothers and you and he had always butted heads. You weren't scared of him like some of your siblings (felt like most of them at times). You hadn't seen Michael since he cast Lucifer out of heaven. You had both said some not so nice things last time you talked, you sighed knowing you would have to apologize. It wouldn't be too bad you figured because since he was your big brother and he did love you he usually was good about apologizing as well.

You made your way through heaven noting how things had changed since you were last here. The place seemed more…vacant. The young fledglings didn't play outside anymore, they were all kept inside now due to the wars that had been occurring. You frowned sadly that these new angels wouldn't have your experiences. You came up to the cottage (Father had made you a cottage to live in for your early fledgling years to show you to be grateful for what you had). The old brown cottage was the same as you all had left it, it still looked inviting and the yard was covered with snow. You peered in to see Michael putting up the Christmas tree! You had always secretly thought he put it up even after you all moved out but you were sure he would deny it. You smiled seeing him look so content.

You walked into the house making your presence known (Michael had never been one for surprises). He looked over his shoulder from his place on the ladder. At seeing you his smile brightened, though it dimmed almost as soon as it showed. It pained you to see you had upset him so much and waited so long to come see him. You were positive it got lonely. (In your defense this was the first free year you had had to have a Christmas party, the last few hundred years had been extremely stressful. It didn't make up for your mistake though.). You sighed walking closer hands clasped together in front of you. He fiddled with the tinsel in his hand. You both looked down as you thought of some way to start the overdue apology.

"Hey." You tried sounding light as you looked up hopefully. You watched as he smiled even chuckling slightly as he continued to fiddle with the tinsel. "Hey Y/N" You cringed hearing him call you by your full name. You entire childhood he had called you by the nickname N/N. "Need help?" You asked easing your way towards him. "Yeah sure. Grab the ornaments. Yours are the box that box there." You nodded grabbing his box and yours to start with. You smiled as you pulled out a bright F/C and bright blue ornament. You had always loved the first one because it was your favorite color but you loved the blue one because it reminded you of Castiel, Michael, Lucifer, and Balthazar's eyes. You also had a beautiful caramel ornament because you wanted one that reminded you of Gabe and Anna as well. You looked up to your older brother and couldn't help but want to cry that you had all spent so many years apart. Coming here made you realize how much you just wanted to be a fledgling again and be a better family-a real family again.

"Mikey, look I know that I really have no right to even be here after all the horrible stuff I said to you but I miss you…and I want to be with you and I'm tired of not being a real family. I should have never blamed you for Lucifer's fall. That one was between him and Dad and you just got pulled into it. I realize that now and I am sorry. Not just sorry about what I said but also that you didn't get to be a fledgling as long as you should have been. You were always there for us, always taking care of us. You constantly showed us love and care even though we may not have been able to see it. I know we didn't always tell you but we appreciate you. We talked about it, we all agree that you were what kept our family together when we were younger. Even Lucifer and Gabe agreed. Mike I am so sorry for everything…and I mean everything. I just want my big brother back." You heard your voice crack and heard how desperate you sounded but you didn't care. You had tears rolling down your cheeks and were desperate to just have him hug you and tell you he forgives you and smell that amazing cinnamon and vanilla scent that was your big brother.

Michael turned around and felt his heart shatter at seeing his baby sister the youngest of them all (the ones he was close to) crying. She reminded him so much of the newborn his father stuck in his arms, he remembered his father's words "This one is special, she is different from any of your other siblings because she feels things at a deeper level than the others. She will help you hold this family together. She will fight for it, she will always let you and any of her other siblings feel loved. She is a vital part of this family Michael, protect her when I cannot." Father had said the same thing about the others too. Always something different, for Castiel it was he was a soldier, for Lucifer it was the bond they would share along with his cleverness, for Gabriel it was his sense of humor and loyalty to his family, for Balthazar it was his stealth, and for Anna it was her eagerness to get things done. Father was right though, Y/N kept them all together and was always encouraging when Michael felt he wasn't doing a good enough job. Even now here she was trying to keep the family together.

He gave her a gentle smile as he made his way down the ladder and walked towards her. He shoved her against him encasing her in a warmth she had craved for so many years to feel again. The warmth of her oldest brother's arms. She quickly returned the hug burying her face in his shoulder. "I didn't know if you were going to forgive me or not." He heard her mumble into his shirt. He pulled her to arm's length so he could look her in the eyes "You listen here and you listen good Y/N. There is nothing you could say or do that could make me not forgive you. You my sister and I love you." He knew his words had gotten through to her when more tears slipped from her eyes and she gave him her brightest smile that he had greatly missed.

After hugging for a few more moments they went to putting up the other ornaments of their siblings. Every ornament told a story from one your sibling's eyes and it made you feel so happy to be able to see it again. You didn't think you would ever have this again after the fall and Dad leaving. That part still made your heart clench, that was a vacancy not even Gabe, Michael, or Lucifer could feel. That part of your heart that made you yearn for your Daddy. You smiled sadly shaking the negative thoughts out, 'He'll come back one day, he promised.' This always gave you comfort. You continued to hang ornaments until there were no left and you had a beautiful tree in the corner of the room.

You and Michael sat down at the old wooden table to drink hot chocolate. You both continued to watch the three from your spots at the table. "So did you just come to apologize or was there something else?" You rolled your eyes expecting nothing less from Michael. Michael was even more intuitive when it came to information that Lucifer was! You sighed "Yes there was something else." You looked to him and saw he was waiting patiently for you to continue. "Want to come to Christmas with me?" He looked up to you an almost smirk playing on his lips before it turned into a genuine smile. It always too Michael time to trust people (even siblings) when it came to anything really. You couldn't really be surprised with all of his responsibilities. They sure wouldn't want you running all of the armies and hoarding all of heavens secrets. You had always been too trusting. "Will this be a Christmas party or are we just celebrating Christmas together?" You kind of wavered your options using your head as the scale "Well it's both actually, we'll have a Christmas dinner and play games and things and then it will be like when we were here and we'll open gifts the next morning."

Michael nodded as though he were seriously contemplating it. "Who will be there?" You shook your head smiling "That seems to be the question of the day. It will be all of our brothers and the Winchesters along with Bobby. Yes I know you're not the biggest fans of the Winchesters and Bobby but their like family to me so please don't let that be the reason you don't come!" You said the last part quickly considering you knew that would probably be one of the big issues. Michael didn't have a problem with humans just…certain humans. You watched closely eyes squinted in concentration trying to decipher your older brother. "I wish you would have told me sooner. How am I ever going to get an accurate gift for everyone?" You smiled laughing at the dramatic way he was talking. You missed this, how he was with you. He was only like this with every few people. You waved off his fake concerns "Please you're an angel. You can easily poof anything you need." He shrugged conceding "Very true." You both started laughing again. "I hope we can be a real family again…" Michael watched as the doubt clouded your eyes and your shoulders sagged. He reached over the table to grab your hand. "Hey look at me, we will be. All thanks to you." This caused you to smile gratefully at him. What would you do without your oldest brother? It felt so good to have him back.

Sam, Dean, and Bobby

These were the easy ones, which is exactly why you had saved them for last. "Hey guuuuys?" You said in a questioning voice. "Yeah?" Sam asked smiling at what a child you could be. "Alright I have a question but I have already asked it multiple times today so I don't want to ask it any more than I have to. "Ok I'll get the guys."

You waited until they were all in the living room and you had their attention. "I have decided I'm tired of not celebrating my Dad's holiday and so I invited all of my brothers to this Christmas party!" You said it excitedly and from reading their minds could tell none of them had an issue so far. "Ok, where is it? We'll be there for you and Cas." You smiled pointing to where you were standing "Here." Dean nodded mimicking you "Oh here, that's just great. Thanks for asking and everything." You smiled knowing he wasn't actually bothered at all and was actually looking forward to seeing what was going to happen having all of your brothers in one room. "We'll be fine Dean. It's Christmas." You had cleverly chose your words so that it could be understood from his inner thoughts or what he had stated. He squinted at you trying to decide if you had done exactly what you had done. He pointed a skeptical finger at you. "Did you just-"

"What?" You asked cutting him off in a very casual way. He continued to watch you before he made a game plan. "Alright I will make a run to the store for food. Sam, Y/N start decorating and Bobby will help us make the food when I get back.

You could have just angel poofed everything to where it needs to be along with the food. You could tell they needed this though. This would be their first real Christmas and if they wanted to set everything up physically by golly that's what you were going to do! It was fun, besides you got to throw flour on all three of the guys…there was fun in everything. It was going to be a great Christmas.

Authors note: Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you all had a great one! I'm sorry this didn't get posted on Christmas but that would be because I didn't think it up till Christmas. This took me several days to type since it's so long. Also sorry it's not in proper paragraph form, I had it perfect but my wifi went out while I was editing and it's 11pm and I'm exhausted. I just wanted to get at least the first chapter published before the new year. Also guys happy New Years Eve. For the new year I am going to try to get more into doing imagines and requests. So if anyone has any suggestions or wants something specific I am glad to do it. Have a great night guys. happy New Year. I wish you all the best.

[livin-life-to-the-coolest]

Scars To Your Beautiful- An ATLA fanfic- Aang and Zuko

Summary: Zuko hasn't been himself in a long time. He feels useless and hopeless and decides he doesn't belong on this Earth. Aang knows he has to save him, but will he make it in time?

Authors note: So for those of you who struggle with suicide or self loathing know that you are not alone. It doesn't make you a sucky person it just makes you a great person in a sucky situation. I know what this feels like and I just want to let you know your not alone. As much as I hate to say it you need to talk to someone, if online people help please talk to me. I will not judge you or pressure you. I have told very few people in my personal life about my situation and I don't expect you to either. Just don't keep everything bottled up. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you all enjoy! (Also I prefer Kataang much more but this isn't bad either)

Warning: There is a suicide attempt, and self loathing if you are triggered negatively by either of these things then you should probably click the back space and read one of my other fanfics.

Aang watched closely as Zuko paced the fire behind him. As the group sat in their circle Zuko refused to join. This bothered Aang, Zuko had proven himself a worthy member of this group yet still didn't feel accepted enough to eat with them. The firebender seemed to be in his own world as he finally sat down to eat in the corner of the camp. Aang continued to watch noting that Zuko didn't seem to notice anything at all.

Aang smiled taking his food and walking over to Zuko. "Hey." He said gently not wanting to startle him out of his thoughts. When Zuko didn't respond he nudged his foot with his own. This seemed to snap Zuko out of his stupor. "Hmm, what?" He looked confused and then surprised to see the young monk sitting with him. He chuckled "I said hi." Zuko stared wide eyed not really knowing what to do "Oh, hey." Aang smiled at the acknowledgment. "So why are you sitting over here by yourself?" Zuko frowned not really getting what Aang was getting at before looking towards the rest of the group around the fire. "Oh, that's just not really my sort of thing. Besides who'd want to look at this face while eating. It would likely make them sick." Aang frowned confused "And why is that? You have a handsome face." This caused Zuko to blush becoming more flustered by the second which wasn't like him at all!

"Umm…I mean I do have a scar if you haven't noticed." Aang analyzed his face for a second trying really hard to see the hideousness that Zuko described about himself. "Oh your eye?" He turned his head to the side in confusion Zuko just stared at him as he did so. "Yeah, my eye. Do I have another scar that no one's telling me about?" This caused Aang to start laughing like crazy! It brought a small smile to Zuko's face. It fell as he looked up to see the rest of the group staring at them. It was Toph who came over next. "Hey Twinkletoes, Zuko are you two going to stay over here and have all the fun by yourselves or are you going to come entertain us as well?"

While she sounded annoyed both boys could tell she was joking and just casually trying to get them back into the group. "I'm only going if Zuko comes." Zuko looked up deciding whether to be annoyed or honored but his face settled for blank. The two stared at him anxiously. "Sure why not?" He got up and followed the two over finally starting to feel like part of the team.

Zuko couldn't help but feel like his new team members watched him. He knew Katara stared and it wasn't a pleasant stare either! She probably thought he was hideous too. Everyone always thought he was hideous. 'Not everyone.' The thought brought the blush back to Zuko's normally pale cheeks. It was true Aang had been very clear with his words. He didn't just not notice Zuko's scar, he thought Zuko was handsome.

It made Zuko feel something he hadn't felt before. It was something warm, he felt like he had a heart again. He finally blew out the candle in his room and went to bed thinking of the Avatar who had seen past his scars.

Zuko woke up the next day feeling lighter. It was like some invisible burden had been lifted off of his shoulders! He came out of his tent smiling brightly only to have it drop when something wet landed on his head soaking him…"What the heck…?" He looked over to see Katara glaring daggers at him. "What do you think your doing?" He asked trying to keep the annoyance out of his voice. She smirked as she causally bended water into jars. "I'm not doing anything. I'm doing what I've done for years. I'm helping out my team." He clenched his jaw trying to remain calm and not let this girl bother him. She was Aang's friend after all. "It's my team too now." She rolled her eyes. "You haven't earned your place on this team. Your half of the reason we even have to have a team! We didn't start fighting until you came along. You and your stupid quest to get your honor back. You know what Zuko? Honor is something you will never have it shows on your face!" He watched her as the silence echoed through the forest…She looked as though she were going to say something else but he was gone before she could say another word.

Katara watched he left running "Zuko wait!" There were tears in her eyes thinking about what she had just said to the prince who gave up everything for Aang. She didn't know why she always picked fights with him she doesn't couldn't help but be angry when he was around. She knew it wasn't her place to go after him, she was the last person he'd want to talk to. "Aang!" She thought! She ran after the only person she could think to help Zuko.

Zuko glared at his reflection in the water. "You're an embarrassment. You were lucky to be born. No wonder no one wanted to be around you." He pinched the skin around his eye desperately wanting to tear it off but stopping himself because why be more hideous than he already was? "You will never be loved and you will never get your honor back!" He splashed the water blurring his reflection so he wouldn't have to look at it.

"Aang! Aang!" Katara yelled as she ran through the forest trying desperately to find the young Avatar. Aang looked up from gathering wood with Sokka and Toph to see Katara running with tears streaming down her face. "Katara what happened!" The gang dashed to her as she fell to her knees breathing hard. "D-don't worry about me! I'm the o-one that was w-wrong! Z-Zuko's the one you should be worried about!" Aang looked at her his face hardening but the worry evident in his eyes. "What's wrong with him? Where is he?" Katara tried to catch her breath Aang waited trying desperately but failing. "Katara where is he!" He grabbed her wrists pulling her towards him. Katara knew Aang would never hurt her but it didn't mean his angry tone with her didn't scare her. "H-he ran off! Aang I said such terrible things to him! You have to find him! He won't want to see me! I don't know what he's going to do but it won't be anything good!" Aang let go pushing her towards Sokka who was prepare to comfort her. Aang took off using every bit of power he had to get him to Zuko. He had to find him!

Zuko hiked his way up the mountain becoming more and more desperate to get away as he went. As he felt the tears trail down his face and realized what a failure he was. He just wanted to end it all! He wanted to be done! He finally made his way to the most beautiful area he had ever seen. Zuko realized he might never have the same atmosphere again and wanted to die here, where there were no mistakes except him. He sat down beside the lake taking out his sword…the blade would be easy enough to stick into himself. It was sharp so it wouldn't take much to end things. He would bleed out before anyone found him.

Aang ran for his life listening for any sound or trail of Zuko! "Zuko!" He yelled desperately looking for the boy he had fallen in love with so long ago! Not that he would admit it. "Zuko!" He looked down focusing on something on the grass before looking up and seeing a figure who looked to have something sharp being pointed at him. 'He was being attacked!' Aang gasped running up the hill. He had to save him!

Zuko gasped at hearing Aang's voice. Aang…the boy who brought a smile to his face anytime he talked to him. Aang the boy who thought he was…no…no! Aang had to be lying or he was blind! Aang was too positive! Didn't he see that lying wasn't going to make him feel any better! Zuko grabbed his head. Why did things have to be like this? He had never meant to be such a failure. With shaking hands he held the sword to his heart. He steadied his hands looking down at his reflection…."I'm sorry Aang." He held his breath as he got ready to push the sword in. "Zuko!" He froze in his place…"Aang?" He silently scolded himself for the shaking in his voice. "What are you doing?" Aang's voice made him want to cry. He had never seen the boy so emotional nor heard that tone. The desperation and agonizing confusion.

"Aang…you should go." Aang walked around him slowly. Never taking his eyes off of him for a second. "I'm not leaving you." Zuko watched with tear filled eyes as Aang slowly reached his hand out to take the sword…"Zuko give me the sword." He pulled it closer to himself and actually piercing his skin only slightly "Zuko! Zuko…please don't do this." He was trying to keep calm Zuko could tell. "Aang please don't stay. I don't want to hurt you." Aang looked up tears leaking out of his eyes "You only will if you let yourself die."

Zuko looked away trying to stop the tears. "Aang I'm useless. I don't belong anywhere and I'm not worthy of your attention. I'm not worthy of anyone's attention…not even my own." Aang felt the tears crawl down his face as he watched the prince who was once so confident stand in front of him talking so lowly of himself…he saw himself as nothing. "Zuko…your my everything. You, this team, this world. You're important to me." Zuko stared at him wondering if what he was saying was just a way to preserve another life. Aang was being the Avatar and Zuko couldn't blame him for that. "Aang its ok, you don't have to say those things. I don't need to be lied to. Knowing you were my friend was enough." "Zuko stop! Please stop! I NEED you HERE! My supply of people I need are low and your one of them and I can't lose you! Especially not like this!"

Zuko could barely see Aang through his tears, but he knew the boy was crying…he hadn't wanted to do that. He didn't want Aang to be in pain because of him. "Aang I'm sorry. I am so so sorry. But can't you see I am only hurting you! All I've ever done is hurt you!" Aang shook his head stepping closer to him. "No! You have brought me a feeling I never knew I could feel. You made me realize who I truly was! Zuko you are amazing to me." He laughed, it was a pitiful laugh. He wanted so badly to believe what Aang was saying but knew it couldn't be true. "Aang stop! Just stop! You don't' mean any of this! Stop trying to save me!" Aang was getting angry now "Zuko I have to save you! You mean so much to me and I just don't get how you can't see that!" "Have you looked at me! Have you seen my face! How could you ever want to be with someone like me!"

"Because I love you!" Zuko froze "Zuko I love how you smile in awkward situations, I love the sound of your laugh, how your eyes sparkle when you do, how I can feel the heat off of your skin when I'm sitting next to you, or the fact that you are so amazingly brave and courageous! You picked up and left the life of royalty to join us in the woods! You did what was right! Zuko you are beautiful in every possible way!" Zuko's hand shook, he didn't know what to do! "Aang…I don't know how to live in this world anymore. I lost my way a long time ago." Aang put his hand ever so gently over Zuko's. "Let me show you." Zuko dropped the sword as he dropped to his knees crying, crying harder than he ever had. Aang held onto him the entire time.

He rocked Zuko in his arms. He didn't say a word as Zuko let everything out. He didn't have to say a word for Zuko to know he was there. "Aang. I love you too." Aang pulled him in tightly for a hug. Putting his head into Zuko's neck. "Don't ever scare me like that again." Zuko tightened his grip "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Aang shook his head pulling away "It's over now. Are you ok?" Zuko nodded smiling. "Yeah, oh and Aang." Aang looked up "Yeah Zuko?" "Don't call me beautiful it's weird." Aang laughed "Handsome?" Zuko sighed "If you really think so." Aang nudged his nose with his own. "I know so." "Let's get back to the others."

Aang and Zuko came back hand in hand. The group looked up not too surprised to see the two together. Aang gave Katara a small encouraging smile. She nodded walking up to Zuko as Aang stepped away. "Hey, I wanted to say I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have said any of that stuff, none of its true and honestly I should have accepted you a long time ago. I was bitter about what happened in Ba Sing Se and I just hadn't gotten over it. Zuko you belong on this team." He nodded and was surprised when she pulled him in for a hug that quickly the entire group joined in on. Zuko looked up at Aang smiling. Things would be ok.

[livin-life-to-the-coolest]

No Cas- A Supernatural Imagine Cas and Reader

Summary: Do you ever get into those situations where you have to explain something? Do you ever have to explain it to an angel? How on Earth do you explain to an angel the idea behind a snow ball fight!

Things weren't too unusual around the Bunker. You guys had been researching some shifter that had been exposed to radiation giving it the ability to become invisible…not at all weird right? You had been walking around trying to keep yourself from being lazy in between your researching periods. You happened to walk past Cas sitting on the couch mesmerized by Elf. You couldn't help but stop to watch the hilarious snow ball scene. "I love this scene." You mumbled as you plopped down next to Cas. He acknowledged you with a small smile before you both became entranced by the scene. When it was over you sighed knowing you needed to go take care of necessities like showering, also figuring Cas would want to watch the movie alone. You got up ready to go to your room when you heard Cass's voice. "Is it customary for people to throw snow at each other?" You chuckled slightly turning back to acknowledge him. "No not really…I guess you could say it is. People just have a habit of throwing things at each other because it's kind of fun I guess." You shrugged figuring that was the best way to explain and felt you were right when he gave you a slight nod. "Ok." You gave him a slight nod before making your way to your room.

You spent about an hour and a half in your room taking a nice hot shower to get all the disgusting two day grime off of you. You got dressed and watched YouTube for a little bit before deciding you needed to help Sam out and go do some more research. You groaned as you got up and headed for the library. On the way through you passed Cas again having not moved once…'doesn't he ever get tired of sitting there!' You thought to yourself before continuing on. You of course stopped once you heard high pitched screaming and couldn't help but backtrack to see what was on the screen….'oh'. Cas was watching The Last Song and happened to be watching the Scene where Will and Ronnie are having a water fight with the hose. "Kaitlyn I'm confused." You leaned over the couch so you were next to his head "About what?" You asked not understanding what was confusing about the movie at all. "I thought you told me people throw the balls of snow at each other, but in this movie they have thrown mud and now water. Doesn't the water hurt?" You took a second to think this through…"I guess they use a few other things. It's just something people do for fun. Sure the water may hurt a little but there's a little bit of fun in that…know what I mean?" The tiniest of smiles grew on his face as he came to understand. You couldn't help but feel honored to be a part of that smile. "Yes I understand now, thank you." Taking that as your sign to leave you headed for the library.

You made your way to the library and plotted down into a chair grabbing the book to continue studying. "Find anything yet?" You asked Sam not looking up from your book. "Nope." Dean said from his spot on the couch. "How would you know! You have been looking at your phone the entire time I tried to talk to you!" An agitated Sam said from his spot at the computer. Dean looked slightly caught off guard "I'm not on my phone."…"Dean do you really think I don't know you have it hidden in your book? You haven't turned the page in fifteen minutes." You smirked from your place in the chair looking over Dean to say "Nice try." Dean shrugged quickly losing interest. He started to leave when he stopped hearing parts of the movie as you had moments ago. He turned back pointing a finger towards the living room. "What's Cas watching?" You smiled as you said "The Last Song." Dean rolled his eyes "A chick flick seriously!" He trudged back over to his spot on the couch and sat back down pouting. "Seriously you're not going to go to your room because of that movie?" You asked baffled at how ridiculous he was being. Dean didn't bother with an answer as he begrudgingly picked up the book and tried to do research along with you and Sam.

You sat there in the peaceful silence for about an hour before Dean groaned. You and Sam both snapped up due to the mini heart attacks that were both trying to take you over. You sat there in the peaceful silence for about an hour before Dean groaned. You and Sam both snapped up due to the mini heart attacks that were both trying to take you over! "What!" You gasped trying to calm your terrified heart. "Bored!" Same rolled his eyes looking from you to his ridiculous brother "Find something to entertain yourself then!" He turned back to his work not wanting to be bothered until the work was finished. You could tell Dean wasn't going to stop anytime soon so you quickly looked for something to entertain him with. You grabbed the first thing you saw and hurled it at him…it just happened to be a sandwich. Dean looked up at you in an almost angry way. Your face remained neutral as you decided if you should smile, laugh, or make a break for it. Eventually Dean just shrugged and started to eat the sandwich…eww. You were about to return to your work when your stomach growled…'Ugh!'

You gathered the energy to get up and go make something to eat getting up from the chair and walking down the hallway to the kitchen. You walked past the living room only slightly noticing that Cas was no longer sitting on the couch and the T.V was no longer on. 'Must have gone to his room for the night.' You thought as you made your way into the kitchen. You stopped in your tracks standing in the middle of the kitchen giving you a wide grin…"Oh hey Cas." "Hi Kaitlyn." There was an awkward moment of silence until you finally broke it with "How was the movie?" Another moment of silence "Which one? I have watched twelve movies today." Your eyes widened realizing how much you guys needed to find something for him to do.

You casually analyzed him trying to figure out why he was being even more awkward than usual. That's when you noticed he had something behind his back…"Cas what do you have there?" Your voice gave nothing away as you asked that innocent question. Cas was smart though and realized it was over. He didn't consider it defeat though, his smile only widened when he quickly threw something at you that you quickly dodged. You felt your body go into hunter mode as you looked for a place to hide grabbing the quickest weapon you could get your hands on which happened to be a spoon. "Cas what the heck!" You screamed backing away from him and jumping slightly hearing something shatter. You looked behind you to see it was a plate! A freakin plate! Who throws a plate at someone! You heard movement behind you and turned just in time to see Cas throw around five plates! You dodged a few before taking cover and hearing all of them shatter. "Cas come on! I'm sure we can talk this out!" Cas had never attempted to hurt you so you had no idea how to react to this. Besides these were pretty crappy weapons compared to his angel blade.

Come on Kaitlyn you're not being any fun! Your supposed to throw back…'What!' You furrowed your brows trying to figure out what on Earth he was talking about! That's when it hit you…'oh...' You slowly made your way out from behind the wall holding your hands up in surrender making yourself visible to Cas. "Don't throw!" You screamed as soon as you saw he had five plates aimed right for you! "Kaitlyn why don't you look like you're having fun?" He said in a confused tone. You broke into a small laugh that must have snapped the boys out of their research because next thing you know they were coming down the hall looking very alarmed that you were surrendering to an armed Castiel. "Cas what are you doing those cost money!" Dean yelled from his place next to you and Sam. You and Sam looked to him with a 'really' look. Like 'That's what your concerned about right now!' "Cas mind if we ask what you're doing." Sam asked using caution as though he were afraid he would be the next victim. "I was trying to have a plate fight." He said it with such clarity that it almost made it sound normal. "A what?" Dean asked trying to figure this out as well. "I was watching movies where these friends were throwing snow balls and mud and water at each other and I just saw the plates and thought why not." You being the nice person you were tried to stifle your laugh but the two boys next to you were not so kind. They broke down laughing clutching their stomachs. "Dude that's not how it works!" Dean said through raspy breaths. "You can't just use anything you want Cas!" Sam said trying to get a hold of himself. "I don't understand Kaitlyn told me there were a few things I could use." They both turned to you giving you amused looks.

You sighed running your hand through your hair. "Cas I didn't think you would try to use plates. When I said there were a few things I meant like clothes or paint. Stuff like that, stuff that won't cause injuries." You explained pointing to the many broken dishes. You felt the guilt hit you like a ton of bricks as you watched Cass's shoulders slump and any happiness that was left on his face had vanished. He looked around looking at the mess that had been caused before starting to walk past the three of you "I'll clean it up." He mumbled in a sad tone that he was obviously trying to cover. "I'm sorry about the mess." He said before leaving the room not looking back.

The three of you stood there in silence. You sighed after a few moments feeling worse than ever about the situation. This was something totally different than you were used to, you had never offended Cas or disappointed him. Whether this was technically your fault or not it sure felt that way. It reminded you of the way he had pouted in the restaurant that day when you, Bobby, Dean, and Sam had been on a hunt with him and Dean had offended him. Even then you felt bad seeing as how much he respected Dean's opinion. You had wanted to make him better then and that one had nothing to do with you!

"Man this is totally my fault isn't it?" You asked in a dreaded tone. "Yeah it is." Dean said almost immediately. "Dude!" Sam snapped seeing as that didn't make you feel any better. "Kaitlyn this is not your fault. How were you supposed to know that Cas would take what you said so literally?" You nodded mumbling a small your right before saying "I'm going to go help him." On your way out you made an effort to bump into Dean feeling satisfied when you heard him grunt slightly…you may or may not have used your elbow. You found Cas pretty instantly sitting on the floor picking up the shards. Before you came up to him you grabbed some paper towel and dampened them a little.

You came up to sit next to him and sat down to help. "You know it helps if you use a wet cloth." You said as you started picking up the pieces using the paper towel you had brought with you. Cas watched with admiration as you swiftly had all of the pieces picked up and folded into the towel. "There all done." You said happy to have helped. You gave him a smile before getting up to go throw away the cloth. Cas followed behind you (which wasn't too unusual as he often liked to surprise you or see what you were doing without having to ask).

You went to rinse off your hands when an idea came to mind. You slowly picked up the nozzle to the sink before quickly and swiftly turning and landing the water right in Cas's face. The look on his face went from alarmed to shocked and it was hilarious! You started laughing extremely hard but the smile quickly faded when you saw that Cas had somehow managed to find a….hose! You tried to hold up your hands in surrender without letting go of your nozzle but Cas was not going to show any mercy. "Cas!" You gasped as you met face to face with some very icy water! "You demon!" You yelled trying to block the water and fight back with your nozzle! "Angel actually!" Cas yelled over the sound of water and screams mashing through the kitchen.

You laugh realizing how great these days are! How much fun you're having! You couldn't remember laughing this much in a long time! Sure you laughed and joked with the boys all the time but this was different this was rare and unique. How many people could say they had a water fight with an angel? You both fought your hardest trying your best the take the other down. Both of you were very competitive it seemed. You both were laughing so hard neither of you could breathe. You were so distracted with your battle that you didn't notice Sam and Dean running down the hall in panic until they were right in front of you screaming "What's going on!" You both froze in your tracks starring at them with your weapons still in your hands…"…A water fight." You said awkwardly before a smile grew on both your and Cass's faces. You raised an eyebrow silently questioning him 'Should we?" The smile that grew on his face guaranteed you a yes. The brothers seemed to catch on only after you and Cas and taken a step forward pointing the hose and nozzle directly at them (for hunters they could be so slow at times!). You both got them square in the face and weren't going to let up any time soon! "Guys come on lets be adults!" Dean yelled trying to shield his face. "Guys knock it off this isn't even fair!" After a good three minutes you let up only to go grab two more nozzles. "Catch." You casually said throwing each of them one. That was when the war really started.

You were all laughing so hard it was hard to tell which laugh was which! You were all soaked and were still relentlessly shooting at each other! Sam I guess finally got frustrated of having you constantly nail him so he came over and picked you up forcing the water to run all the way from your head to your toes! "Sam! Cold cold!" You screamed trying to escape. "No really?" He asked through laughter finally you nudged him gently in the stomach allowing him to loosen his grip you summer salted you way over to Dean and Cas and got them both in the face before finally losing control and laughing. You clutched over falling on the floor, the others soon following suit. Once the laughter finally ended you all seem to notice the mess that was completely covering the kitchen the laughter stopping slowly…'oh...'

You plopped down on the couch squishing yourself between the three men having finally finished your part of cleaning the kitchen. You all now sat there with wet hair, pajamas and a blanket draped over all four of you. You allowed Cas to pick the movie since the three of you had seen all of them already. After intense concentration he settled on watching the Avengers, which you all were completely fine with. You each decided on a superhero for the others you being the Black Widow (because your just awesome), Dean being Iron Man (because of his humor), Sam was the Hulk since he was already huge and super smart), it took a minute but the three of you agreed Cas was Captain America (which of course he knew nothing about) (because he was always so confused about everything). The three of you laughed at all the jokes and the drama and you all cried when Agent Coulson died (even Dean and tears in his eyes!). By the end of the movie everyone was asleep dreaming of super heroes and water fights. This was the way things should be, and every once in a while they would be.

Authors note: Yep so that's it. Hope you all liked reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you would like more stuff like this just private message me or click that little review button and we can definitely make something happen. Feel free to send a request or an imagine. I will talk to you all again soon, bye!

[livin-life-to-the-coolest]

A Casual Day In The Tardis

You woke up to the sound of the Doctor laughing that triumphant laugh of his. You smiled into your pillow thinking of what a child he was. You shook your head to the thought of encouraging this but finally crawled your way out of bed. You could hear the music on from the staircase…you peered around the rail and saw the Doctor doing some…very interesting dances. You covered your mouth to stifle the laugh that made its way up your throat. He was currently doing the jive…you made your way behind him silently trying to time this perfectly. You hid a little longer listening the song….a bright smile formed along your face noticing it was one of your and the Doctors favorite-Wake Me Up Before You Go Go by Wham. You slowly counted in your head '1…2…3!' You waited till he turned slightly so he was almost facing you. You quickly jumped his arms while you both kept it perfect time with the dance. You could tell you had startled him but he held you close anyway as you both danced. He laughed almost as soon as he saw who it was. "Don't do that you about gave me a heart attack!" You laughed with him "Don't you mean hearts attack!" You couldn't pass it up. He just gave you the same smirk he always did when you made extremely horrible jokes, especially when you both knew they were absolutely terrible. You both continued to dance to the music, thinking up all sorts of different old style dances while somehow still staying together in pace and movement…it felt like you two were the only people in the entire universe.

You eventually got tired of hitting the replay button and put it on full reverse so you didn't have to bother. The Doctor laughed at your laziness for the simple task (since you were usually somewhat active). He sat in his chair feet propped up waiting for you to come back so he could dance more. You finally skipped back towards him and continued on as you were.

You put the boom-boom into my heart You send my soul sky high when your lovin' starts Jitterbug into my brain Goes a bang-bang-bang 'til my feet do the same.

You quickly learned the Doctor was very fond of the jive…which you didn't mind one bit. You lose count of how many times the two of you had laughed since you came down the stairs. You had turned the music up pretty loud so you could hear it all the way through the Tardis and you started racing with the Doctor. "Y/N wait up!" You could hear the Doctor calling. You continued on determined to beat him at the race that existed only in your head. You finally made it back to the consol, you stopped as soon as you got there not thinking about where you were standing…"OOPS!" "OW! DOCTOR WATCH WHERE YOUR GOING!" You couldn't be taking seriously, you were laughing so hard! You looked up to see the Doctor right next to you. He propped himself up on his elbows looking down at you from your spot on the ground. He pushed some hair out of your face before getting up and offering a hand to you which you quickly took. "So what should we do now!" The Doctor turned to you obviously waiting for an answer. "Hmm.." You purposly made him wait because his looks of annoyance were hilirous. "…lets do everything!" The Doctor looked at you stranglely. "What does that mean?" "Exactley how it sounds. Lets do everything today…you know for a super old man you don't know much." He looked offended before seeing you weren't the least bit serious and throwing you both into laughing fits once again. He plopped down on the rail of the Tardis console with you leaning in so that you were quite close (you two were basically best friends and closeness was never an issue with you two). "Alright what does everything involve?" He talked as though he were the student who was very interested in what you were saying. "Let's find out." You grabbed his hand and raced to whatever room you thought of first.

Wake me up before you go-go Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo Wake me up before you go-go I don't want to miss it when you hit that high Wake me up before you go-go 'Cause I'm not plannin'' on going solo Wake me up before you go-go Take me dancing tonight

"The swimming pool?" You nodded "Yep! Sounds good to me." You were both starring at the huge swimming pool that was covered in thick glass that showed a beautiful sun shining brightly (most likely a perception filter) You were about to suggest getting a swimsuit when you felt yourself being pushed in! You popped back up out of the water almost immediately! "Doctor!" He was bent over laughing so hard! You angrily marched out of the pool and over to him. He slightly cowered in fear but was still smiling. Before he knew what had hit him he was in the water! It was now your turn to laugh seeing how ridiculous he looked! This quickly turned into some kind of water war. There was much tackling and laughing and talking over being ruler of the pool. Once you both resembled prunes you finally decided to get out. Your once comfortable black t-shirt was now highly uncomfortable along with the sweat pants you were wearing. The Doctor looked completely ridiculous in his wet suit! You both ran to your rooms changing into whatever you felt like wearing. You both raced out to the console, you were pleasantly surprised to find the Doctor actually wearing sweats and a white t-shirt. You were always telling the Doctor it was ok to have a dress down day but then he would just say "I have to look good saving the world." Which then caused you to always underdress when you were having a day in. When he would ask you why you would simply reply "I'm dressing down for both of us."

'Cause you're my lady, I'm your fool It makes me crazy when you act so cruel Come on, baby, let's not fight We'll go dancing, everything will be all right

The Doctor clapped his hands excitedly "So! What's next?" You smirked at him knowing exactly what you should do. The Doctor noticed the look and found himself smirking as well (though he had no idea what you were thinking). Without saying a word you raced up to your room and then running down the hallway to his grabbing what you needed from each. When you came back down the Doctor was standing right where you had left him. He heard you scrambled down the steps and watched in confusion as you threw him a pillow…"Y/N what is th-" He was abrubtedly cut off when you hit him in the head with your pillow! "Hey!" "It's a pillow fight duh." This quickly turned into a full-fledged battle! The victory was hazy most the time since and the Doctor were both quite skilled at the arts of pillow fighting. After about an hour the Doctor had you pinned under him with you trying to reach for your pillows. "Do you surrender?" He asked, with the triumph already present in his voice. You sighed in frustration. You continued to struggle to reach for your pillow. His grip on your arm tightened even more. "Come on Y/N don't make this any harder than it has to be." He said still smiling, "Where would the fun in that be?" You asked with a smirk of your own as you found your pillow and quickly slapped him with it efficiently knocking him off of you. You victory didn't last long though because the Doctor knocked you over and was quickly on top of you once again. You moaned dramatically being frustrated. "It's only fair, you were victor of the pool so I should be able to be victor of pillow fights." You could tell he was trying to make this defeat easier on you (and him). You sighed before saying ok in a strange tone. He got up and helped you up. He smiled excitedly as you announced he was the victor and held his hand up (as they do in the Hunger Games) "Thank you thank you! This is such a big deal to me! I never expected!" You laughed at his childish antics.

You walked past him bumping him on the way "Come on drama queen the days not over." He followed you into the hallway asking curiously "What else did you have in mind?" "Well my dear friend you simply can't have a casual day without a movie." The Doctor smiled as he followed you into the living room. You plopped down on the couch with the Doctor after grabbing all the necessities (soda, popcorn, any candy imaginable, and three different movies) "Alright! We have The Hunger Games, The Avengers, or The Help. Which one do you choose?" You watched the Doctor scan each movie with the utmost concentration. You had chosen three random movies since you had way too many to count) "Ugh this is so hard!" He held his head in his hands from stress overload. You patted his back comfortingly "It's alright will have other movie nights just choose one and will watch the others later." He nodded furrowing his brows scanning them over once again. "Alright…The Help, I need to laugh a little. Besides it's historical." You smiled at him before mumbling something about him being a nerd, which he nudged you for. You settled back against the couch leaning your head on his shoulder and watching the movie. You both really liked your causal off days. You really did.

Cuddle up, baby, move in tight We'll go dancing tomorrow night It's cold out there, but it's warm in bed They can dance, we'll stay home instead

[livin-life-to-the-coolest]

The Day You Met The Doctor(11th Doctor and Reader Imagine)

Summary: You are a secretary who loves their simple life. You are happily in a relationship and then that gets messed up. You meet the Doctor one night when he finds you a crying mess. How will this turn out? Will you choose to see the stars or say with you wonderful life?

You were walking out the door of your apartment to you job. You were a secretary at a high class office. Your life was ordinary and consisted of the same thing every day, you get up get ready go to work go out with your boyfriend B/N. It was a simple life, but it was yours. You walked in greeting anyone you saw (you were friendly like that). You felt a sense of comfort walking into your glass office that overlooked the city of London. You could look out there for hours if you had the time. You took a breath before getting to work.

You had just left the office to go meet B/N when you got a phone call. "Hello?" You said as you answered the phone. "Y/N" You knew that was B/N. "Hey where are you? I thought you were meeting me outside the building?" You didn't want to sound angry but you knew he knew how you felt about being stood up. "I-I'm sorry. I just can't do this anymore." His voice was shaking but showed no sign of emotion…you felt a chill go up your spine at the thought you had..."What do you mean you can't do this anymore?" He may have been good at covering his emotions but you were not! The fear in your voice was evidenet. "I think you know what I mean. Y/N…it's over. I just don't see us going anywhere. I'm sorry." You heard the phone click signaling he had hung up on you. You felt your throat closing up and the tears pooling down your face. What was the point? The simple life you loved so much was gone, crushed into a thousand pieces.

You didn't care who saw you, you were too numb to be embarrassed by your state. It was all too much! All too painful! You ran up the stairs to your room and quietly closed the door behind you. You slid down the door frame and curled into a ball to give yourself a nice long cry. You cried until it hurt, you were lightheaded and now had a headache that didn't seem to make any promises of leaving. You were about to get up when you heard a very strange noise…you couldn't even describe it. You were still frozen in place listening for the sound when a knock came to your door. "Hello! Anyone home? I could use some help!" The voice was very energetic and happy. Something you desperately needed right now. You slowly opened the door to see a tall man with dirty blond or ligh brown hair, he was thin and attractive. "Hi! I'm the Do-What happened to you! You look a mess! Mind if I come in?" He didn't even wait for an answer. He just walked past you and into the kitchen. You sat there absolutely stunned.

You finally gathered the nerve to go question him and found him sitting at your kitchen table waiting for you with two cups of tea. You hesitantly joined him and started to sip your own tea. "So…what happened?" He asked quietly and calmly. You shook your head slightly giving him a sad smile. "I don't want to burden you with my troubles." He furrowed his brows as he frowned "What makes you think it would be a burden? I want to help you in anyway I can." He gently took your hand in his never breaking eye contact with you. He nodded his head before saying "Go on." You hesitantly started your sad story. By the time you were finished the Doctor had gotten up and was pacing the kitchen. He slammed his hand on the table making you jump! "Sorry! Sorry. I just get so mad! Why do humans have to be this way towards each other! Where I'm from only love is taught. Not this…this evil!" You got up and put your hand on his shoulder "Doctor it's fine, I'm fine." You paused thinking over his past words…"Why do you speak as though you aren't one of us?" He looked confused for a second before realizing what he had said. He smiled excited. "It would be better if I show you." He held out his hand for you to take "May I?" You smiled nodding and let him grab your hand and pull you to the top of the apartment building. There stood a wooden blue police box. You had always loved them, but this one was unique. You looked to him expectantly "Can we go in?" He ran up to the door and pushed it open. He held it for you as you entered.

You gasped in surprise! It was beautiful! It was different colors throughout and had a glass flooring (similar to your office). You looked to him with a bright smile on your face! "Is this yours?" He nodded excitedly "Yep! I'm always looking for new guests-companions as I like to call them. If you would like…you could stay with me." You looked to him in even more shock! 'He wants me to stay?' "Y-you really want me to stay?" He looked to you in astonishment…"Why would I! Y/N you have just sat and listen to me rant on and on! Not many people are willing to do that. You also happen to have a fantastic personality and I find you intriguing." You pulled him in for a tight hug, "Thank you!" After an awkward moment on his part he finally returned the hug. "No Y/N, thank you." He ran over to the counsel and pressed some buttons before pulling on a lever. You weren't prepared for the sudden movement so you grabbed on to the railing. "Where are we going!" You yelled over the sound of the machine. "I have no idea!" He said laughing like a madman! You knew that you should probably be scared, but the only thought that came to your mind was 'This is going to be fun!'

[livin-life-to-the-coolest]

To Have Been In Love- A Merlin fanfic

Summary: During a night with the knights and his King Merlin is asked a question he never thought he’d have to think about, have you ever been in love? Oh if he only had time to tell them about them all.  Merlin falls in love so easily at the beginning, but after a while he finds it harder and harder.  During a talk about Morgana that leaves Merlin tense Arthur and the knights find out exactly why Merlin doesn’t like to discuss the Kings old ward. 

The day had started out pretty normal. 

It was just supposed to be a simple hunt. 

Just something to do with Arthur and the Knights. 

As much as Merlin hated killing the innocent creatures he did enjoy his time spent with his friends. Merlin smiled as Arthur turned around rolling his eyes at one of Gwaine’s stories as

they rode towards the forest. Merlin snorted trying to hide it not to offend Gwaine. Not that Gwaine ever really got offended. He apparently wasn’t as subtle as he had thought. 

“And what do you think you’re laughing at Merlin?” Gwaine’s voice rang among the group. Merlin quickly straightened himself out. 

“Nothing, nothing, just thinking.” Arthur chuckled from his spot ahead, watching from behind as Merlin tried to cover his tracks. 

“Honestly Merlin, it’s a good thing I don’t tell you anything of importance. You wouldn’t know how to keep a secret if it tried to lock itself in your mouth.” 

“Is there something you want to say to me Princess?” Arthur rolled his eyes at the nickname. 

“Not particularly, just wondering when you’re going to settle down and find yourself a nice girl.” Gwaine laughed as they continued to ride. “Oh Princess, do you know me at all?

Settling down is far too boring. Isn’t that right Merlin!” Merlin looked to his friends almost seeming confused. 

“Why are you asking me?” Gwaine shrugged good naturedly, but all of the knights would be lying if they said they were not the least bit curious as to what Merlin’s lack of women is.

What his lack of a relationship comes from. Truth be told the knights for some time had wondered if Merlin’s only torch was for the King himself. All of the knights certainly hoped

not, for it would be too tragic. To know Merlin stuck around for that pain, if only to be close to Arthur. To remain by his side forever in oblivion. Merlin rolled his eyes smiling at his

friends who watched him curiously. 

“I have nothing against settling down Gwaine.” Gwaine drew his horse closer to Merlin’s. Curiosity showing clear as day in his eyes. “Then why is it that you remain alone? You’ve been

in Camelot for so long, surely you’ve met someone being there! You’re one of the most enjoyable people I’ve ever gotten to know, I’ve heard the ladies in the castle whisper about

you. You’d have no shortage of girls. So what keeps you mate?” 

Merlin blushed thinking of the attention he got from the women in the castle. He knew he had to play this carefully to not cause suspicion. He really did not feel like discussing his

real reasons for his single life. They were far too painful to ever bring up. He hadn’t talked about it since the night it happened. He didn’t plan on ever voicing those words again. 

“I guess I never found someone I felt suited me.” He said with a shrug. 

“Oh come on! Out of all of Camelot! Not one girl?” Merlin shook his head smirking at Gwaine. 

“Boys?” Merlin laughed out loud at that. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s heard it and he doubted it would be the last. 

“Gwaine!” Elyan and Percial snapped at their fellow knight. Not wanting to make Merlin uncomfortable. 

“Oh Gwaine, that’s a good one. As much as I don’t have a problem with that sort of thing. I can’t say that it’s my case personally. I just simply don’t find anyone interesting or

appealing enough to spend the rest of my life with, let alone go on a date with.” 

Arthur had been watching the exchange rather quietly. It’s not that the question had neve dawned on him. He and Merlin had been friends for many years and he had taken notice

that Merlin never seemed to like anyone in that way. Not out of any insecurity, just out of pure lack of interest. So he decided to wait and see what good Gwaine leading the question

would do. It seemed Melin wasn’t cracking for any of them. That’s when Arthur brought it up. 

“You had a thing for Morgana once remember?” Merlin froze. Everyone could see it. His breathing seemed to have halted and his knuckles turned white as he clutched the reigns of

the horse. 

“What?” It was tense and not at all Merlin’s usual jolly tone. 

“You brought Morgana flowers once remember? You saw you. When her nightmares had gotten really bad.” Merlin shook his head forcing a smile. 

“That’s not attraction, that’s just kindness towards a friend. I had suffered from nightmares in the past and had found that the smell of lilies calmed me at night. Helped me to sleep

better. I didn’t want to sound like a girl so I let you think they were an act of love.” Arthur analyzed him for a second before nodding his head. 

“Well played.” 

“Thank you sire.” 

Their attention was swayed as the sound of animals began and the hunt was on! 

That night around a camp they all sat. Either skinning or cooking game. Just chatting as they always did at night around the warm fire. Questions started up again as they always did. 

    “Alright who here has ever been in love, not just a fling? Raise your hand.” Merlin didn’t know what had happened to him, what made him put his guard down. Maybe it was the

weird feeling he had ever since the first conversation that morning, maybe it was just him being distracted, or maybe it was Morgana’s beautiful laughing face that kept floating into

his mine, for some reason he raised his hand surprising those all around him. 

“What? Really?” It was Elyan’s question as he watched Merlin. To be honest the man looked half asleep.He didn’t eve seem to hear him. “Merlin!” His eyes flicked up to Elyan’s and then

to the rest of the group. He frowned thinking over the last minute before snatching his hand back down as though that would erase the last minute. 

“Sorry I misheard your question.” He shook his head going for a smile as he began to play with the food on his plate finding he wasn’t hungry. 

“No you know what the question was. Explain.” It was said jokingly by Elyan. Though Merlin knew from the glances around him he wouldn’t be getting out of this one. “Who is she?

How did you meet her?” Merlin looked around settling for an unamused smile. 

‘You all are such nosy prats.” 

“Hey! I thought that was my word?” Arthur spoke up. Merlin shrugged face blank. 

“You’re rubbing off on them.”

“Details come on!” Gwaine excitedly leaned closer to Merlin. If he could learn the smallest bit about Merlin’s past he would be excited. The boy was such a closed book with his

personal life. 

“Alright alright. Nothing much to say really. We met in Camelot. I had been here for a few weeks before I met her, but we instantly became interested in each other and got along

really well. We became great friends and by the end of the year we were dating. It was one of the best times of my life.” 

“How did you ruin it?” Came Leon’s snarky response. All meant in good fun. Merlin was able to cover to cringe of the ever so real statement. He instead shrugged. 

“We fell out of love. Nothing that could be done. We couldn’t be friends after that so she left Camelot.” The others seemed sympathetic, patting him on the back. The conversation

moved away from that to save Merlin face. Of course Merlin’s relief didn’t last long as Morgana was once again brought up. They had been making fun of her. Making up scenarios

about her stealing the crown. They were all laughing, but Merlin knew they all held a hatred for her. A hatred he could never share. No matter what she did, he would always love her. 

“Merlin come on! You try to do the Morgana voice.” Arthur was laughing as he tried to get Merlin involved. Watched as something changed in Merlin. He was suddenly more quiet than

he had been all day. His demeanor had changed. He only muttered something about ‘not being good at voices.’ 

Merlin turned his head away ashamed. Arthur watched him closely. Noting this wasn’t the first time Merlin has responded this way. When it came to Morgana at least. Merlin seems to

have always had a soft spot for her, though it’s hard to tell because Merlin seems to have a soft spot for everyone, but watching him now as he turns away, head held down. Arthur

can tell he has missed something so important about his manservant-his friend. “You loved her.” It wasn’t a question, nor was it an accusation. Merlin and Arthur both knew such. 

    Arthur watched his friend with sympathy as he sighed an exhausted sigh. Merlin knew when there was the point in lying. “Yeah, yeah I did.” 

The knights had become silent. Watching the interaction, shocked. Leon was the only one who had been there to watch Merlin and Morgana together and while he knew they were

close and that both were bold and easily able to defy the rules. He never suspected something more between them. Both were apparently better pretenders than he had been led to

believe. 

“Why didn’t you ever tell me? I thought we talked about everything.” Arthur was disappointed to not be a part of Merlin’s love life, but he wasn’t angry. He really really hoped Merlin

knew that. Merlin shook his head bitterly. Still not really looking at anything but the ground. 

“It didn’t matter. It never would have happened anyway. I’m nothing, but a servant and she...she was so much more.” Gwaine felt now was the time to speak up. 

“That’s not true mate. You are just as important as any of us. She would have been lucky to have you, though I think you can do so much better.” Merlin smiled at the kind words but

shook his head. 

“You would have had to know her Gwaine. She was something so different...so special. The woman you know now is not anything like the one I loved ...it's my fault.” Arthur frowned

shaking his head. He put a hand on Merlin’s shoulder causing him to look up. Arthur’s frown deepened seeing the tears pooling in his friends' eyes. Tears that were angry and

frustrated and desperate. Tears he fought to let come forward. 

“That’s not true. It was all Morgause Merlin, and even then Morgana made her choice. She has the loyalty of a crow.” Merlin shook his head turning away from them. Arthur thought

for half a second that he was going to have to chase him down. 

“You don’t get it.” 

“Then help me get it.” 

“Morgana was loyal, all the way up until that day that the sleeping spell came over Camelot.” 

“I remember that day.” Leon spoke up. “It was terrifying. We didn’t know if people were dying or if they were in a coma. But after a few minutes of exhaustion you just didn’t care

anymore...sleep sounded wonderful. We all knew it was bad, but just couldn’t find it in us to care.” 

Merlin nodded still looking down. 

“I had known Morgana and Morguase were friends. That Morgana trusted her...I knew Morgana didn’t like Uther either, but she didn’t seem to want to cause him harm. I let it go

thinking Morgana just wanted a friend outside of Camelot, but I didn’t trust Morgause. When I brought it up to Morgana it led to a fight where she claimed I was just jealous and being

silly. I let it go to avoid upsetting her. Deciding I would just watch out for her...I failed in so many ways though. Morgana had gone to meet Morguase at some point that i didn’t know,

but Morgause placed a spell on Morgana that would protect her from the sleeping spell, that also meant that the spell was part of Morgana….that it would only stop if she stopped

breathing….if she'd-died….” Merlin choked on the word. Covering his mouth to keep from crying out. All the images of Morgana smiling at him and trying to comfort him blending

with her choking and holding her throat, of looking at him with accusing eyes as she crawled away, trying to preserve her life at all costs. To not be near Merlin, the man she had

loved. 

“What happened Merlin?” Arthur’s voice was cold, but not towards Merlin, not really. Just the situation. His hatred towards Morgause growing and him being so grateful she was dead.

Merlin cleared his throat and wiped his eyes. 

“I tried everything I could to stop that spell, but I knew deep down from the beginning what would have to happen. It felt like my insides were being ripped apart. It would be like you

having to kill Gwenevere to save Camelot.” The mere thought made Arthur sick. He didn’t think he’d ever be able to do it, not ever. 

“Anyway, at first I just tried to leave her with the guards, but they were told not to kill her. That made it so much worse, I would already feel responsible for letting her die if the

guards had killed her, but now I knew it would have to be me...I put Hemlock in a water bottle and gave it to her...she had no clue. She loved me and trusted me and willingly drank

poison just because I handed it to her...I’ve never hated myself more than I did in that moment. I have thought about offing myself so many times thinking on that moment.” 

The knights looked at each other worried. Merlin had thought about killing himself? That was such an unMerlin thing to do. Then again this whole story seemed like an unMerlin thing

to do. 

“I heard her coughing and I turned around seeing in her eyes that she knew. She looked up at me, the question was there. I’ve never been able to lie to her. I nodded and it was

horrible. She crawled away from me shaking her head and desperately trying to get away. I couldn’t stand it. I wanted her to be at peace when she went. I held her against me hoping

she would know how sorry I was, but all she did was fight me. Until that last moment where I felt her breath left her body. She didn’t fight me in that last moment. I could almost

pretend it was like all the other times she had let me hold her. When I told her stories and we laughed ...I knew that wasn’t it though. I knew that she just hadn’t had the energy to

push me away. I had betrayed her and we both knew it. No matter what my reasoning was that I had betrayed her. 

Morgause came in and I bargained with her that she could save Morgana if she saved Camelot. She agreed and I gave her the poison. The horrible part is I didn’t feel comfort when

she took Morgana. Even though I knew she would save her...I knew that if I ever saw Morgana again that hate and betrayal would still be there. That she would never….ever be my

Morgana again...and she never was.” 

Merlin had long since stopped trying to hide his tears. They now streamed down his cheeks. His eyes locked onto the ground in front of him. His mouth set in a firm line, jaw

clenched. He didn’t know how the knights in front of him would respond, he also couldn’t really find it in himself to care. That’s what always happened when he thought about

Morgana. He never seemed to care what became of him without her around. Most of the time he could ignore those feelings and throw them into the pits of his mind. He could live a

happy life with his friends and fulfill his destiny. There were those nights though where he remembered his destiny would involve killing his love once again. That she had truly

became darkness itself, rather than the light and warmth that once held a place in his heart. Those nights he never slept. He only cried, screaming into his pillow. 

The knights were all shocked. They had known Merlin was braver than he seemed, but this was totally different! This was something they weren’t sure if any of them would be able to

do. Merlin had done the unspeakable all in the name of Camelot. He truly should have been a knight. Arthur felt tears come to his own eyes. Not only for the pain his best friend felt,

but also for the loss of his sister. He would never blame Merlin, not ever, but it didn’t make it any easier.

“You did what you had to do. None of us blame you for that.” He gave Merlin’s shoulder a squeeze. He became worried once more as Merlin did not respond. His head was turned

away, but Arthur knew from the shake of his shoulders that Merlin was crying. He did something he hardly ever did with anyone. He pulled Merlin in for a hug. He felt Merlin stiffen

for half a second before lunging himself further into the hug. That was when Arthur knew he had done the right thing. Before anyone could really even think about it all of the knights

were joining in on the hug. Merlin smiled feeling the warmth of his friends. They would never replace Morgana, because no one could, but he sure was lucky to have such great

friends. A great family who loves him. He curled further into the hug, absorbing the warmth of his friends. 

[livin-life-to-the-coolest]

Never The Same- Merlin fanfic

Summary: Arthur believes Agravaine when he says Gaius is the traitor. Merlin argues it but Arthur refuses to see reason. Merlin and Gwaine go in search of him and they find him. They bring him back to Camelot to heal and while Merlin stays at Gaius’s side. He does inform Arthur that if Gaius dies due to his negligence to listen that Merlin will never forgive him.

Merlin chose to ignore the harsh words that sprung forward in his mind as he and Gwaine headed for Gaius. All of the moments of Arthur arguing that his uncle was a good man and only wanted what

was best for the Kingdom came into Merlin’s mind. How could he not think the same of Gaius. Gaius who helped raise Arthur himself? Where was Agravaine then! Why did he not show up until power was in

play? Gaius was clearly the better man, the only one who didn’t see it was Arthur.

Merlin did appreciate Gwaine. He was everything Merlin needed consistently. He knew when Merlin needed to laugh or cry. He knew when Merlin needed someone to listen or someone to yell at. He was

one of Merlin’s first friends who hugged him. Merlin would never forget that. Arthur didn’t hug him. Merlin couldn’t remember one time. He shook his head smiling as Gwaine made some attempt to make

him smile. Merlin would always love Gwaine.

As they neared the place Gaius was supposedly being kept Gwaine became the serious knight that made Merlin feel even safer. Merlin knew that Gwaine would protect him and Gaius with his life.

Something Merlin appreciated and admired about his friend. Merlin let Gwaine lead the beginning of the journey. Only taking over when Gwaine needed his help. Merlin really hoped Gwaine would listen to

his words when it came to finding Gaius. Merlin would gladly be left behind if Gaius’s life was at stake. Gwaine had nodded, but Merlin could never be sure. This was Gwaine. Gwaine was adamantly loyal to

him, he wasn’t sure he would actually leave him there. He shook it off and went forward to find Gaius.

Merlin was becoming nervous as he furthered into the cave. He couldn’t hear Gwaine and he hadn’t been able to find Gaius. He gasped as he felt his body fly into a wall. Morgana. He looked up to see the

witch looking at him with cold eyes. That’s the only way she ever looked at him these days. She was smiling though, which could only mean she was going to do something not so pleasant.

“Why am I not surprised you’re here?” He spoke as she neared him.

“You have always been a thorn in my foot haven’t you Merlin? Why can’t you ever just leave things alone?” Merlin glared at her, he felt an ugly rage rising up inside him.

“Maybe if you would leave my family out of it I would do just that.” She frowned mockingly.

“Family? Merlin last time I checked I”ve never hurt Hunith...unless Gaius is your father then your claim is in fact false.”

“Morgana you should know better than anyone family goes beyond blood.”

“Enough talking, my next question should be how will I make you pay? How will you die Merlin? Because you will die today.”

Merlin had watched the interaction with Alator and Morgana. Had watched as Alator came close to him. Here it comes, his secret would be out. He knew in that moment he would have to kill the two

magic users in the room and get out quickly. He mentally went over any helpful spell when his brain malfunctioned...wait what? Alator wasn’t going to tell Morgana? Altair was helping him? Had Merlin hit

his head?

Once Alator had made sure Merlin got out safely Merlin ran. He rode as fast as he could feeling relief that Gwaine’s horse was indeed gone...good! He got Gaius! Merlin knew that was the only reason

Gwaine would leave him there. Merlin rode faster than he ever had! He had to see Gaius.

“Gaius! Gaius! I’m here!” Merlin ran happily towards his home. Ready to embrace his guardian with open arms. He just wanted to feel Gaius hug him and comfort him. He needed Gaius. He froze when he

came through the door though…”Gaius?” It was quiet, confused. What was going on? Gaius was lying on a bed unconscious. He was pale and bloody. His breathing was shallow….no...no no no! Merlin was

at his side in seconds. Gwaine and Gwen watched him anxiously as he reached for Gaius’s wrist. “HIs pulse is weak...how long has he been like this?” Merlin tried hard to not snap at his friends. They had

only helped him. They weren’t at fault.

“They brought him in an hour ago. His pulse has weakened a little since they brought him in. I’ve done all I can. You have more knowledge than I do.” She was quiet and gentle, she didn’t want to upset

him. His breathing was shaky as he tried not to scream. He couldn't lose Gaius! He couldn’t!

Just at that moment a bang was heard on the other side of the room. Merlin didn’t turn around, he didn’t have to. Arthur spoke almost as soon as he came in. “I heard what happened! Is he okay!” Arthur

came over to Gaius’s side. Merlin couldn’t look at him. He kept his eyes glued to Gaius.

“He’s not doing well. His pulse is weak. Merlin is going to treat him.” Gwen spoke up.

“Merlin how are you holding up?” Arthur looked to his manservant. Merlin didn’t spare him a glance as he got up and gathered herbs to make something for Gaius.

“I”m fire sire. Gaius is the one who isn’t fine. Gaius is the one who’s possibly dying.” Arthur looked guilty and Merlin was glad for it. He deserved it. Gwaine stayed quiet looking between the two. He felt

bad for both men, but he understood where Merlin was coming from. He knew Merlin was becoming more and more frustrated with Arthur’s loyalty towards Agravaine as Merlin was his most loyal friend.

Today Gaius almost paid the price for that. So he would stay out of this one. He would do whatever Merlin needed him to.

Arthur watches Merlin sadly. Merlin didn’t spare him a glance. Gwen bit her lip and looked to Arthur. She gently grabbed his arm and headed for the door. “Come on Arthur, let’s leave him alone for now.

Merlin I’ll be back later to help.” She told the young man before walking out with Arthur. Leaving Gwaine and Merlin alone with a struggling Gaius.

“Merlin mate, what do you need me to do?” Merlin didn’t respond at first, just continued rummaging for things. Gwaine watched sadly as Merlin stopped, his shoulders heaved as he gripped the table in

front of him. “Hey hey come here.” Gwaine had his arms wrapped around Merlin in seconds. He knew he had done the right thing when Merlin returned the hug. Completely losing himself in the embrace.

Gwaine felt his shirt becoming soaked, but simply continued to hold his friend. His one true friend. “I’ve got you Merlin, I’ve got you.”

When Merlin did pull away he wiped at the tears. Though he knew Gwaine wouldn’t judge, Gwaine watched him with a gentle smile. “Ok...umm can you grab some fresh water? I’m going to try to lower

his fever.” Gwaine nodded his head and headed out the door. Merlin immediately turned towards his guardian. He did need the water, but he had to try some things first. Magic had been used on Gaius and

magic might be what saves him. Merlin put a hand to Gaius’s head and closed his eyes, focussing all of his magic into saving him.

He opened his eyes to check on him. It hadn’t worked. He tried again and a third time before Gwaine came back in. Merlin jumped into action, doing all the correct medical things. It ended with him and

Gwaine sitting on both sides of Gaius just comforting each other with presence. Everyone once in a while Merlin would check on Gaius and look defeated when nothing changed and Gwaine would put his

hand on top of Merlin's or put it on his shoulder. Merlin needed to know he wasn’t alone.

Gwaine fell asleep before Merlin. Merlin watched the young knight sleep. He would never stop being grateful for Gwaine. With that thought Merlin allowed sleep to take him.

Gwaine had gone to practice when Arthur came in. Merlin had been sleeping when Arthur woke him up. “How is he?”

“No improvement.” Merlin replied tiredly. He really didn’t know what to do about Arthur now.

“I”m sorry Merlin. If I-”

“Don’t.”

“Merlin-”

“Don’t. Arthur just don’t. Look, you should know...if this doesn’t work...if Gaius...if Gaius dies. I will never forgive you. I can’t stay here if that happens. I tried to tell you he wasn’t the traitor. I told you

who the traitor was and you wouldn’t listen. You never trust me. Now Gaius is paying the price. I'll pay the price if he dies. I’m done Arthur. If this is how things go I’m done.” Arthur stayed silent through

his speech. He hated the words coming out of his mouth. They felt like venom and went against everything he believed in. He just didn’t believe in anything anymore. He hesitated before looking at his

King. Arthur looked shattered. He looked ready to cry. It reminded him so much of when Uther died. Merlin almost felt bad for putting it there. Almost.

“I am sorry Merlin. I will do everything I can.” With that he was out the door and Merlin was alone with Gaius’s body. Gwaine frowned as Arthur brushed past him in the hallway, not saying a word. As he

made his way back to Merlin’s home he felt something was even more wrong than the current situation.

“What happened with you and Princess?” Gwaine asked as he came back into the home. Merlin hardly looked up as he continued looking for cures. Merlin didn’t respond at first. Only continued his

search.

“I gave him some hard new I suppose.�� Gwaine waited thinking Merlin would explain. When no explanation came he asked.

“What did you say?” Merlin’s face was carefully blank. He didn’t know how Gwaine would respond to what he had to say.

“I told him that if Gaius dies I will not stay. I will not forgive him for not trusting us.” Gwaine felt his heart sink at Merlin’s words.

“Merlin mate-”

“No Gwaine, Arthur has never listened to me. I have proven time and time again to be right when he argues with me to be wrong and he never learns. He never thinks maybe just maybe I know what I’m

talking about! I’m not stupid! I know we all joke about it and normally I don’t care, but now Gaius is dying and I was right! Arthur’s ignorance is going to kill the one man who’s ever been a true father to

me. I will not stay and serve a man who takes Gaius away from me. Maybe I never should have been as loyal as I turned out to be.” Gwaine nodded sadly.

“Well Merlin, I’m with you always. To the end. If you go I go with you.” Merlin nodded gratefully. He didn’t have the energy or strength to tell Gwaine to stay. He needed someone and Gwaine was all he

had. “I love you mate.” Merlin was surprised by the words. He gave him the smallest smile he could manage.

“I love you too Gwaine. You’re a true friend. You’re family.” With that both men fell into comfortable silence. Gwaine could only hope Gaius lived. He didn’t know what Merlin would do without Camelot,

without Arthur. Would he really give it all up in his grief?

Merlin woke up the next morning sleeping next to Gaius’s body. “Alright Gaius. Let’s check your vitals and then I’ll get you some water. How does that sound?” Merlin spoke as though his guardian could

hear him. It helped him to cope, helped him to not feel like this was useless. He paused though when he reached for Gaius’s arm…”Gaius?” Merlin felt his breathing increase and something he hadn’t

noticed before. “Gaius!” He touched his skin beginning to panic at the cold touch. He looked closer and saw Gaius was not breathing. “Gaius! Oh please no Gaius!” He pulled out a piece of glass and checked

under Gaius’s nose for breath...nothing. “No no no please no!” He checked his neck, his wrist, everything! “G-Gaius…” His voice cracked. “NOOOOO!” It was a painful and brutal scream.

Gwaine ran out thinking danger was around. “Merlin! Hey, what’s wrong?” Merlin didn’t respond, just rocked himself back and forth. He could hear Merlin sobbing and muttering to himself though. He

put a gentle hand on his friend. “Merlin? Merlin can you look at me?” Merlin shook his head, never not looking at Gaius...Gaius. Oh no.” Gwaine moved closer and took a hold of the older man’s

wrist...nothing. Oh poor Gaius….poor Merlin.

Gwen and Arthur ran into the room as soon as they got the news. Gwen had been trying to comfort Arthur over Merlin’s words. Both jumped as the door opened. Faces full of hope that Merlin would

announce Gaius would make a full recovery. Leon’s face though...was full of remorse and dread. Both ran out the door at Leon’s shake of his head. “Merlin!” Arthur ran in horrified by the sight in front of

him. Merlin was wailing over Gaius’s body while Gwaine held a hand on Merlin’s shoulder.

“Merlin...I’m so sorry.” Merlin straightened up at hearing Arthur’s voice. The couple flinched at the icy look in Merlin’s once bright eyes. He stood up walking towards Arthur. Fury written all over his face.

“You...you have no place here! You killed him! It’s your fault he’s gone!”

“Merlin you don’t mean that!” Gwen ran forward to console her friend. She was shocked at Merlin. Shocked at his tone towards his best friend and shocked at his words.

“I don’t want you here!” With that Merlin went back to Gaius’s side and sat down. “I’m leaving as soon as the funeral is over. I won’t be coming back.” The tension in the room could cut someone. Gwen

straightened up shocked that he would actually go through with his words. Gwaine hung his head in disappointment at the entire situation. Arthur felt the tears roll down his face. Things would never be

the same. He had lost Merlin and he knew that. He nodded his acknowledgment towards Merlin’s words.

“I will leave Merlin. You need to know though, I am truly sorry. I have taken you for granted and I regret that immensely. Thank you Merlin. Thank you for all you’ve done for me. You will always be my

best friend.” With that he walked out the door. Gwen hung back, not sure which man needed her more. She walked forward and took one of Merlin’s hands in an act of comfort.

The knight, the ex manservant, and the maid stood together in silence. Things would never be the same.

The funeral was large and celebrated all of the amazing things Gauis did. People from all around came and said their goodbyes. Many came to Merlin to give their condolences. It was the first time

anyone had ever seen Merlin like this. So solemn. So quiet. Only being polite, no jokes, no smiles. Only quiet “Thank you’s, and thanks for coming.’ Merlin never looked at Arthur. Gwaine stuck by his side

the entire time. Doing whatever Merlin needed. Arthur tried not to feel jealous that Gwaine had replaced him. He knew he deserved it, that Merlin deserved better. Gwen sent him sympathetic glances, but

she also stuck to Merlin. Knowing that her time left with her friend was coming to an end.

Arthur watched from the top of the castle as Merlin and Gwaine rod into the woods as they left Camelot for good. Gwen waved from the boundaries of Camelot. She cried, she cried for hours. Not moving

from her place where she had last said goodbye. Arthur had never known how close she and Merlin had been. He didn't know that Gwen had been Merlin's first friend and that Merlin had been the first

person Gwen had actually been interested in. Arthur didn’t know a lot of things. Arthur let Agravaine off of his service. He knew it was the right thing to do. Merlin had left him proof of Agravaine’s

treachery. He didn’t know if all that Merlin said was accurate, but he knew now to never question Merlin. He knew Merlin would know when they stopped. He would find the letter Arthur had left explaining

everything Arthur had ever thought about Merlin. How sorry he was. And how he would never forget his first friend. He would never forget Merlin. As Merlin rode away, Arthur felt a piece of him go too.

“Goodbye old friend, and farewell.” His words flew into the wind, he hoped Merlin heard them.