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Brainrot is the best what happened to the mankind

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Relationship goal

Ian is a heavy smoker and he wanted to date a guy that loved cigarettes as much as he did. His ex used to nag him constantly for smelling like cigarettes, and reminding him that he is going to get lung cancer. But his new boyfriend encourages him to smoke more as they lay in bed together bathing in each other’s clouds of toxic smoke.

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My ideal husband is alcoholic chain-smoking hog

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@realism8966

I wish to be mind washed by my fat hairy slob uncle to be turned into a worse version of himself on accident...at first when I realize the transformation I hate jut but end up enjoying it too much later on

Your uncle was always jealous of how smart you were and even when you went to live with him at the age of 13 he treated you as his own. And now that it was time for you to go off to college he could t help but just be jealous of how you were going to accomplish so much more than him. He was still working at the same mechanic shop he had worked at since high school and hanging with the same people that he had been hanging out with back then. None of the amounted to much of anything. So when you came home from college for winter break and he had the chance to make you think that you had been kicked out school by faking a letter from the college it was all too devastating for you. But your uncle was there to offer you a job with him at the shop. Weeks had gone by and soo. Your athletic trim body was being replaced by a more beefier one. What with the drinking and the fast food that you was constantly chewing down on. It seemed like all the guys at the shop did was eat and drink and hang out. At first you we’re fighting self hate as you seen your muscular body slip away and no matter how much you tried you couldn’t lose the weight. Little did you know that you uncle was injecting you with medications to beef you up for good. But by the time you found out you couldn’t be happier. You wanted to grow larger and larger. It wasn’t even a shock to you when you got the real letter from school telling you that you were being kicked out. Someone like you shouldn’t be in college anyway. You only wanted to hang out at the shop and eat an drink. Your uncle was so proud of man he had created and that made you so happy to have someone that proud of you. And when he handed you that drink that was guaranteed to pack the pounds on you couldn’t wait to drink the whole thing. You were gonna be bigger than your uncle. Hell you always smelled worse than him.

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It’s appropriate to start your day with beer

The wishing well pt.1

Jason was on his way home from college to see his father. He always dreaded this time of year because his father was hyper critical over everything he did. His father was so controlling that he even controlled how much Jason weighed saying that his success in life was directly tied to his appearance. Jason was expected to be a straight a student while being an athlete and working out every day of the week. His father wanted him to be just like him and take over the family business one day. The family business was a lucrative one being one of the best law firms on the entire state. Jason pulled up to the three story house knowing that he was in for a miserable weekend. He went into the house to find his father looking over a case that he was working on in the study. “In here now!” His father demanded. He could tell by the tone of the command that his father had found out that he had gotten a B on one of his final test for Latin and law. Jason went to the study and stood where he knew his father was going to patronize him for his lack of intelligence. “You think I spend all my money just for you to fuck up and not do what’s expected of you !! I can’t believe your lack of commitment. Next thing you know I’m going to be dealing with a drop out ! Get out of my site. Your presence disgusts me and you’re obviously not cut from the same cloth that I am!” Jason back out of the room. He knew that this was coming. If his father was mad enough he could cut all funds from Jason. Jason would have nothing. His mother had died when he was young leaving him i. The care of his father and no one else. He had no one else. As much as his father was a pain in his ass he only wanted to make the man proud and to be loved by him. Jason was walking around aimlessly when noticed that he had took a detour through the woods. He remembers when he was young he was always told not to go in there because of the magic that surrounded the place. People had been found dead just inside the emptiness of the dense forest with no reason as to why they had died. Jason was getting nervous because he had never come into the place before and he turned around only to see trees. He was lost. The sun was going down the trees around him were playing tricks on his eyes as he thought he seen shadows moving. He kept walking forward hoping that the forest would end soon. That’s when he came to a small clearing about the size of his bedroom at home where there was no trees and it seemed that the only source of light that penetrate the thicket was a beam of light that illumated the center of the clearing. Shining down on a well that looked too old for to be real. Jason walked to the well that was covered in moss. Looking down the well he seen nothing but darkness. The stone was rough and there was even a bucket still hanging there. He reached out to touch the bucket only for it to fall immediately and hit the water beneath. Pain came after that as he Reteacted his hand to find that the metal on the bucket had cut his hand and blood poured into the well.

That’s when Jason heard what sounded like wht he could only imagine fairies sounded like. “Make a wish make a wish make wish “. The voice just said over and over. Jason chuckled as he knew now that the pressure his father put on him all time had finally made him lose it. Under his breath and just whispered “I wish that my father didn’t care about education and would chill out and be more laid back.” The last of the blood left his hand and made a loud voice once it hit the water in the bottom of the well and even though he had whispered his wish it sounded as if it was smoked loudly as the well made a hoed the wish all around him. There was a light ahead of him in the clearing and not wanting to be stuck in the forest after dark he walked towards the light. Surprisingly enough, after following the light he wound up in his back yard staring up at the 3 story house that he was dreading to go back into.

His father was no where to be seen when he stepped into the house and everything was dark. His father must have went to sleep. How late was it ? He did t have his phone or anything on him when he went walking. Making his way back to his room he found his phone and seen that it was close to 1am and he had several messages from his father demanding that he come back home and stop being a disappointment. Turning his phone off Jason just climbed into bed knowing that tomorrow morning was going to horrible because his father would be yelling at him. Jason fell asleep after a few minutes trying not to think of the morning to come.

Sun shining directly on Jason’s face is what woke him the following morning. He brought his hands to his eyes to cover them and while squinting was able to make out that the light was coming through the blinds on the window. Wait...blinds.... his house had curtains as his father always thought that curtains brought more elegance to a house. Looking around the room everything was different. His room was much smaller now. Wood paneling covered the walls and a sheet was draped over the door frame as if to serve as a door. The smell of beer lingered in the room with body odor and he could tell someone was cooking some eggs and bacon not too far away. Jason got up to find that not only was his surrounding different but he was too. Gone was his athletic muscular frame and replaced with one that had a beer gut and fat that covered his muscles. He could even see a big bushy beard that came from his face when looking down. The smell of body odor was not just coming from the room but it was coming from him. He managed to get out of the bed that was laying directly on the floor. A mirror that tested on the floor gave Jason a good look at what had happened to him.

“Hey Jason get some clothes on and come for breakfast”. He heard his dad yell from the other room. Every step Jason took his belly jiggled. This sensation was almost overwhelming for him as he was not used to having this much made to carry around. He managed to find a wife beater that looked almost clean minus the pit stains and beer stains on the front. Nothing was clean in his room. He managed to get a pair of jeans on that were surprisingly snug and he didn’t think they would fit but they did. He found his way to the kitchen whi Co was right next door to his room. It looked as if the 3 story house has turned into a trailer. Wood panel was everywhere and the kitchen and living room were practically one room. “Hey Jason you’re finally up. Go on and eat up big fella we have a lot of stuff we have to do today.” His dad was changed as well. Gone was the super cocky alpha and what replaced him seemed to be a loving man the same age. Just like Jason he had a big of a beer pudge too and he could tell that he took more characteristics from this man too. The hair pattern and the choice in clothes. “You want your normal beer this morning or 3?” His father asked and Jason responded with “3 pops”. Jason was shocked at how dumb he sounded. His dad placed his beers right in front of him and he guzzled them down along with the feeding trough of breakfast food his dad placed in front of him. “Alright Jason we need to get to work. I found a new junk yard for us to go picking at.” His dad got up from the table and he noticed just how different his dad was now. No longer the muscular man that he was but still not completely without muscle. He followed his to the living room where he sat down on the couch and his dad brought him his work boot. He could smell them even before they got to him. And they were much larger tha. The other shoes that he was used to wearing. He looked down at his furry feet and realized that they too were different than they had been. Hair covered just about every inch of his new ballooned body. He attempted to put his shoes on and he realized that he couldn’t even tie his shoes. For some reason.... he didn’t know how. His dad helped him tie his shoes when he realized th at Jason was getting frustrated and started to get angry. “It’s ok Jason you know that you never really learned how to do this.” Jason began to realize that something g was really off with this new reality. He was not only a big lumbering brute but was he really this dumb now. Before he was so smart and now he couldn’t even tie his shoes. His dad got up and started walking toward the door. “Alright son come on time to go to work”. Jason got up and followed his pops to the parked truck outside only realizing now how much his world had changed. Jason was definitely going to have a hard time adjusting to this new life he was now living.

To be continued ....

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The Wishing well pt.2

The ride to the junk yard wasn’t too long hit it was long enough for Jason to try and figure out his new life. He found that he had two sets of memories. One from before the change and one from the reality that he had now. In this new reality Jason didn’t graduate school. Hell he barely made it to the 6th grade before schoo in general just became too complicated for him. He remembered his dad signing him out of school and telling him that it was going to be ok and that he didn’t need to be smart to make it. Then he remembered going through his growth spurt which would have made him perfect for football if he had stayed in school.

He and his father got to the junk yard and went to work looking for anything that they could sale to make a buck. Pops always told him that every cent counts when it comes to making ends meet. Pops took care of everything because Jason not only struggled with reading but he also struggled with math. The made their picks for the day and the. Set off for home. “Jason you want to get some more beer before we go home ?”

“Yeah pops! I’m always down for some of that stuff!” Jason couldn’t even control his responses it seemed. He was kind of dejected at how dumb he sounded but it seemed only natural to his dad. “That my big guy he said” pulling into a gas station. “I’m going to put gas in the truck. He is the money for the beer. Remember you numbers ok. If you need help then just come get me. You got this “. Jason was so proud knowing that his dad has so much confidence in him. He could do this. He was so dumb he could mess this up. Jason went in and got his 24 back of beer and made his way to the counter with his beer belly leading the way. “Bro just this for tha day “. The cashier rang him up and after telling him how much it was Jason handed him the cash. “I’m sir this isn’t the right change.”

“Huh” Jason said scratching his head. “Pops said it was”. Nope it’s not you see you have me a 10 and it’s cost 20. Numbers were so confusing for Jason now. He just scratched his head and rubbed his growling belly. “I’ll go get pops”. Jason went to get his father and explained what had happened with his head hanging. “Pops it’s too complicated. I just don’t understand”. That’s when pops took off in the store. Jason heard a bunch of yelling and later his father came from the store with the beer in hand. His father looked angry. But when seeing Jason he hid that anger

“It’s not your fault Jason. People just want to take advantage of your innocence”. They both got back in the truck and Jason couldn’t help but feel pity for himself on the way home. “Here son have a beer it’ll make you feel better”. He handed a beer to Jason and Jason chugged it almost automatically.

By the time they got back to their trailer Jason had already consumer 5 beers. His dad cooked dinner for them as they sat back and watch some nascar. Dinner tonight was pizza and Jason never remembered something tasting so good as before he was always forced to diet in his previous life. Jason and his kept drink one beer after another before his dad eventually laughed and said “ alright big guy we have to stop. Gotta save some for us to have for breakfast”. It was time for bed and two headed to their rooms. Jason staggered to his room using the trailer walls for support because he was drunk. He pulled back the sheet to his room stepped inside immediately greeted with the smells of beer and body odor. He instantly got hard knowing that it was him causing this room to smell the way it did. He stripped down and looked at himself in the mirror again. The look of utter confusion seemed to be plastered permanently on his face. His beer belly hard as rock from the night of pizza and beer. Even though Jason was utterly dumb in this new world he actually liked it. His father loved him. And his world wasn’t controlled by rules anymore. He staggered to the bed and first laid on his stomach but had to change position when he found that his ball gut made it uncomfortable.

During the night Jason dreamed about the well. This time a shadow was standing in front of it. Jason walked to the well and noticed that his movements were were not heavy and brutish. He looked down and seen that he was back to his old self. As he got closer to the well he noticed that there was mirror that stood there as well. The shadow man spoke to him in whispers that he had heard before “now you must choose. Stay like this or go back to your old life”. In the mirror Jason noticed that his reflection was that of the lumbering oaf he just spent the day as. “If I choose to stay like this do I have to be so dumb” Jason asked. The man replied “ it’s all or nothing Jason. Be dumb and happy or smart and miserable. It’s your choice but you must choose now”. There was no choice for Jason. He had felt more love in one day than he had in his whole life. “Whatever you choose though Jason you will not remember the other life you had experienced”. There was no questioning it “I choose this life” Jason said pointing to lumbering oak reflection. “I want to be this”. As if Jason was being pulled away from the well all he was the shadow man say “as you wish”.

Jason woke with a gasp. It was morning. He smelt breakfast being cooked. He pulled himself from his bed and seen himself in the mirror. He flexed knowing that being such a brute was awesome. He smelled like an animal and he was already sweating up a storm for the day ahead. He pulled on his clothes from the previous day and went to the kitchen where his dad already had the table set. “Want your normal beers for breakfast ?” “Of course pops I need to feed the beast!” Jason said said slapping his beer belly. “That’s my big guy” his dad said laughing. Jason has forgot about his previous life completely. Giving over to the new life of be a huge dumb sweaty brute. He finally had a father that showed him love and Jason could t be happier.

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God is gay and name of his is Gaylord

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The worst rule in English grammar is that you can't end a sentence with a preposition. Especially when some graders take it seriously and others don't

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If I had an Oscar for every time someone told me I didn't look depressed when I answered anyone’s "How are you?" question I'd have more Oscars than this award exists

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100% truth

THE PRINCESS BRIDE 1987, dir. Rob Reiner

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Donald Trump is not my president!

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VHS tapes won over Sony's Beta only because VHS let its buyers to record pornography

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There’s an international language. It’s not English, but Broken English

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Non-universal healthcare is a crime against humanity!

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Do both on the same time

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Unpopular opinion: turkey is meh

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I’m so jealous of him and I hope he’s happy to be that fat and gain even more weight

only 19 and already a superchub