littlestlake

[littlestlake]

ancient greek word of the day: μελάνυδρος (melanydros), with black water, of water which looks black from its depth

[littlestlake]

seeing straight men be disgusted by booktok smut recommenders has actually radicalized me to the side of booktok smut recommenders. girls your taste may be atrocious but i will never disparage you for exposing mainstream discourse to the concept of soaking through your underwear. spent my whole life listening to men talk about penises it’s about time they get jumpscared by women talking about pussy in crude detail on social media. go forth and goon my warriors

[littlestlake]

something that makes shi quingxuan's corrupted ascension to godhood more painful is that sqx was a good god.

beloved by their followers, kind, charitable, and was always trying to do good things. sqx was a genuinely good person, who stuck up for xie lian, and didn't automatically assume the worsts of hua cheng despite what other heavenly officials said.

shi qingxuan being a much better god than many of the others who earned or "deserved" their spots, makes their fate sadder to me

[littlestlake]

they need to invent a writing that is easy. and fast also

[littlestlake]

Imagine you're in high-school and you have a huge crush on a teacher and you realize you're gay and you ask "do you think all gay people are terrible..?" And he smiles and says "there's bad straight people and good straight people, so why would I think all gay people are bad?"

Then you're outed against your will and he tells you you're disgusting. You go "but you said you didn't hate them!" And he says but it's different for YOU and kicks you out of school

Then you return to your high-school after graduating from college to show him see I ended up being a good educated person! You hate him for being so cruel but also want him to give you another chance... then you realize the trophy case has your picture and everyone says "you didn't know?? When you left he was so sad he fell into depression and he'd come stand in the hallway and stare at this pathetic shrine he made for you"

You try to talk to him but he runs away from you. Clearly he doesn't want to associate with a gay person like you - is what you'd think, except he's hanging out with your FLAMING father!!!!?

Anyway that's svsss from binghes pov but instead of gay it's his demon heritage

[littlestlake]

this scene but if lu guang had upper body strength

[littlestlake]

*struggles while writing* i suck and writing is hard

*remembers some ppl use ai* i am a creative force. i am uncorrupted by theft and indolence. i am on a journey to excellence. it is my duty to keep taking joy in creating.

[littlestlake]

idk much about jojos bizarre adventure but what i DO know is that there’s a character named r.e.o. speedwagon like the fucking 70s rock band and everyone just thinks that’s fine 

[littlestlake]

OH GOSH NEVER AGAIN

[littlestlake]

i like that they gave us that gay ass photoshoot before everything went sideways

[littlestlake]

this year's been long

[littlestlake]

i wrote a twin cinema poem about two gay soldiers in wwi

context: the two sides, read separately, are the two soldiers thinking about their futures with each other. when read together, it's a reflection of their final thoughts when they die together struck by bullets <3

[littlestlake]

if i had a nickel for every time one of my favorite characters in a show grew out their hair and started a cult i’d have 2 nickels which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice

[littlestlake]

[littlestlake]

The divine right of kings but it's a curse

[littlestlake]

listening to/adding more songs to my link click playlist and losing it bc I put ilomilo for lg at the end of s1 bc the lyrics kinda fit but in light of s2 they fit him EVEN MORE??? what kinda prophetic shit was I on

[littlestlake]

These screenshots could never do it justice but this scene of Cheng Xiaoshi desperately and excruciatingly crying as his own trauma mixes with the feelings of Chen Xiao, directly followed by a shot of Lu Guang with his face hidden from view, always made me feel sorrowful; even when first watching the show.

But now, knowing just how deeply Lu Guang cares about Cheng Xiaoshi and how far he is actually willing to go for him, it hits even harder.

Because Lu Guang is hearing everything Cheng Xiaoshi is going through at that moment. He can hear his gut-wrenching crying; can hear him saying he is afraid of being alone; can hear him scream out not only for the client’s mom but his own as well.

And it’s Lu Guang who put him in that situation in the first place. By not telling him about the earthquake beforehand; by not letting CXS decide and prepare himself for it. He thought he’d have CXS finish the mission quickly and never let him know what happened after. Trying to completely shelter him from any and all harm and it backfires dramatically.

Before this frame, Lu Guang tells him:

but CXS never does and Lu Guang can’t intervene. All he can do is watch. And try to experience it with him. Trying to fully feel the consequences of what he did.

And we deliberately don’t see his face. We don’t know what expression is on Lu Guang’s face as he has to watch the one in his heart fall apart - because of his choices. All we do see is that Lu Guang too is holding his own hand. Just like CXS is holding the hand of the dying mother, all Lu Guang can do is hold his own hands.

And when CXS comes back he has to act cold and strict again. Because maybe he wasn’t just protecting their rules here. Maybe this Lu Guang is already the one who has to make sure their current present doesn’t change again. Even though he felt sympathy for Chen Xiao and wanted to help him let go of regret (because maybe Lu Guang already knows what that’s like) he still had to be strict about their rules.

And of course, Cheng Xiaoshi punches him. Wouldn’t you? Not telling him about the earthquake, lying to him about saving the mother and then saying sorry like he barely even cares. Why is his friend so cruel?

and Lu Guang isn’t surprised. Quite the opposite actually: Lu Guang expected this. Maybe he even welcomes it. He takes the punch, because he too thinks he deserves it. Cheng Xiaoshi doesn’t know why he is doing this and he never will. But at least he can take one punch. Maybe that will ease some of the sorrow in Cheng Xiaoshi’s heart.

But when CXS falls down and starts crying again, Lu Guang can’t keep up the act either. It only takes him a few moments to get back up, walk over to Cheng Xiaoshi again and do what he actually wanted to do from the start:

Comfort him.

And then you think back to how they hid his face in the first few panels up above and you remember the face he made while telling CXS that he can’t save someone who already died.

And looking back at it now you realize there was a lot more to this face than just trying to prevent CXS from “doing something stupid”.

Because now we know.

And I’m sure we are all aware that whatever expression was on Lu Guang’s face here:

seeing it might just break our hearts alongside theirs.