littlemorticianthings

[littlemorticianthings]

[littlemorticianthings]

the sirens wouldnt even have to sing beautiful or anything. id still come over to the shallows and rocks to see whats up see whats happening. whats all going on

[littlemorticianthings]

I just had the best encounter with a child at Kmart. I was in the aisle shopping, and this girl and her dad come around the corner. The girl sees me and excitedly exclaims “There’s a human here!!” to which the father replied “Yes, there’s humans everywhere.”

[littlemorticianthings]

[littlemorticianthings]

it should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. like no i shut it off and back on again why are you still here

[littlemorticianthings]

stop what you're doing right now and look at archaic period terracotta fox scratching its head

ok you can continue

[littlemorticianthings]

[littlemorticianthings]

Fuck you, now you get to see it in video form, because fuck you.

[littlemorticianthings]

[littlemorticianthings]

ily, menswear guy

[littlemorticianthings]

[littlemorticianthings]

Wooooahdude I just found this out but you're heirloom tomatoes actually. Did you know this

[littlemorticianthings]

help

[littlemorticianthings]

Get yourself a fabric store that will light your fabric on fire for you

No but legit I asked what the fiber content of something was and the guy didn’t know so he cut a chunk off and lit it on fire and felt the ashes and was like. Yeah this is mostly cotton with a lil bit of silk. And that was the moment I knew. This is it. This is the fabric store for me. Also that guy is marriage material. Not for me but damn some person is gonna be so happy with him.

[littlemorticianthings]

House drugged that coffee btw