littlebigdreamer

[littlebigdreamer]

Heart vs Mind: which do you follow?

WARNING: foul language used.

Who invented these questions, honestly! 

First of all, I study psychology and in psychology you’ll learn that you can either believe that the mind and brain are connected or that they’re two separate entities. For me, I believe in the latter. The mind is non-measurable, which is why there are two such beliefs regarding it.

People think mind = brain, so they come up with questions like “do you follow your mind or your heart when making decisions?”--bitch, do you even u-n-d-e-r-s-t-a-n-d the context of what you’re asking?? the heart, like, the one that pumps your blood? “oh so you follow your mind then” no bitch that's common logic you should've had that wired in you from attending school; the heart pumps blood! Within this context, the mind IS the heart. Your heart can’t talk! It just pumps blood!

It’s especially dumb because when I answered this question to the dumb bitch who asked me, I said that the mind and the heart are connected, its essentially the same thing within the context of what this question even stands for. She went off to tell me that I’m being too critical--well you’re one of those dumb bitches aintcha who thinks life is either black or white when its mostly grey, and she even studied psychology! Granted, she cheated most of her way through uni but still! She prides herself in “thinking critically” and “finding evidence” when it once came to me loosely saying an irrelevant piece of information I heard about advertisements in Canada (through someone else’s family who lived in Canada), she went off to tell me my “friend must be wrong” because she couldn’t find the information on Google--in fact, she tells me for most of the things that I say I should be critical and do my research when this bitch literally thinks she bout to have her lung collapse/pneumothorax when she had a slight chest pain/stabbing pain in her chest probably due to her muscle contractions from her fucking yoga classes--WHICH, was what her doctor said to her. but this bitch self-diagnosed herself and came to that dramatic conclusion but when I said that I had “rumination syndrome” from years of experience of having it, she was all high and mighty and told me, “you really shouldn’t self-diagnose yourself and get a doctor to check you.” bitch. look it up. You’ll find that it's a hard thing to diagnose and I literally have to stuff myself full for it to occur but it happens sporadically and unexpectedly, without force. All the research papers confirm my experience so who the fuck are you to tell me what I’m experiencing is wrong. This bitch even had the nerve to tell me some Youtuber had the exact same thing and got surgery for it... research actually confirms that there’s no cure for it but behavioural therapy--basically discipline, so this “Youtuber” does NOT have what I have, in fact she probably has what is often confused as what I have, therefore you did NOT do your research proper-fucking-ly.

….

If it weren’t for the fact that this bitch is my bf’s sister... I would've cut a bitch.

[littlebigdreamer]

Day 3.

Dear Friend,

How are you? Today I started the day quite off(?)--by that I mean, I was almost late to class. For some reason, and it may be due to how I’ve started the other days, I mistook my timing. I thought my class started at 2pm when actually it finishes at 2pm and starts at 12pm. I should’ve left the house at 11am but I only just started showering at 11am! Anyway, I didn’t let that dampen my spirits, as I took responsibility and paid my consequence by ordering an Ola that charged me $18.82.

Omg. This driver. I swear. Could not drive! Starting off, he sped straight past the

round-about when he should’ve made a right turn into my street. I didn’t want to judge him too early, but the map would’ve showed him to turn right, and why was he speeding? Then, at a peculiar junction (I do have to admit this is a hard one to cross), with no signs that said “one way”, however, and his map showing to cross the street to get to the other side of the road, he made a left turn... I quickly corrected him of course, goodness this man. So I figured this guy is probably just not a confident driver so I thought, well, that’s reassuring. As soon as we entered the freeway, I had my suspicions--the car felt a little... slow? So I glanced over his side to see his speed and, lo and behold, this guy was doing 80km/hr in a 100km zone... in the middle lane. And then I had to correct him again with which lane to take to get to the correct exit (despite shown on the map)--I just really think this guy overestimated his driving abilities and just wanted to get easy cash.

I was paying this guy to drive me to uni--gosh the consequences I had to bear! A ride that was expected to cost me $16 turned out to be $18--anymore and I would’ve lost my sh*t. Because we now know it was because of his driving, and not traffic. The things that test my patience is quite ridiculous honestly.

I know, I know, I shouldn’t complain--at least he got me to my destination safe and in one piece. But could you imagine if something terrible happened and it was because of his driving though? I believe I have the right to complain on this one. 1 star for him unfortunately.

Anyway, first day of class today, and it must be the same with everyone else because there was a surplus of students walking around today compared to previous days. Thankfully, I wasn’t too late that I couldn’t grab my morning coffee first! So, surprising news today, I discovered that someone I knew was in the same class as me this semester for one of my units! I was surprised because I never expected to see her in this unit at all! It was a shame I came in a bit late to class, otherwise we might’ve sat next to each other. Oh well, there’s always next class!

Instead I sat down and caught up with my other colleague who’ve been in the same class as me since last year, Dolly. We both have lectures to catch up to, so I’ll end this at that. Until next time!

Love,

Little Big Dreamer.

[littlebigdreamer]

Day 2.

Dear Friend,

How are you? I get so excited thinking about writing these! Things are turning out pretty great today actually, I feel very blessed. The weather is nice and warm, and the sun is out today—so walking to the bus stop was better because I only had to walk to the nearest stop for the next bus (coincidentally, with the time I left the house). But to top that off, my boyfriend’s dad stopped by the bus stop and asked if I needed a lift since he was on his way to the city anyway—free ride!

As always, I start my day at uni with a cup of coffee (with my cute pink cup), and as I arrived a little earlier than expected, I waited in the library and caught up with a bit of yesterday’s reading. Today I had a workshop for students seeking internships or vocational work, and honestly, glad I went! I learned so much! Specifically, did you know there’s a website just like SEEK but for people who study social sciences? Me! This entire time I’ve been hunting for potential jobs on SEEK and other websites thinking, “maybe I’m not in a demanding field? Maybe I should’ve done business?” Thank goodness I went to this workshop, honestly, saved my future!

I love attending these workshops, truly, I always feel so motivated and excited to just start already with the job hunting and go straight to the interviews--I get this surge of confidence like I know exactly who I am and what I’m good at, given my previous experience and current job role. Of course, I don’t think I’m at all skilled in many things--probably just one or two, but I definitely feel more confident and assured with what it is I have to give and what will bring myself above the surface to stand out a little bit more. So exciting! 

But you know, it does die down once I leave the workshop. When I sit down to think about making a head-start, other things come to mind (like uni work) and then I stop and put it aside for another time (priorities man). But I’m definitely glad I took initiative to be more active during my uni days now to prepare myself for post-grad life. It really does pay to be pro-active in life. I don’t have it all together though, I mean I barely started the Career Employability Award modules. But don't worry! I’ll definitely get to it. ;)

I hope you’re doing well, honestly it’s not easy to be living in these times. Actually this morning, before the workshop, I came across a piece of news article (I like to open a bunch of tabs with MSN news that come up every time I go on Microsoft Edge), and it was about a boy who committed suicide due to the final tipping point (for him)--which was a message from Centrelink that showed him a ‘debt’ of $2000. He was only 22 years old. That’s the same age as my boyfriend! Could you imagine, having left work due to workplace bullying (so frickin toxic man), breaking up with your girlfriend, and trying to make it better for yourself somehow by going up to the Department of Human Services for help, and they shove a $2000 debt at your face--which was immediately removed post-partum?? And even suspected to be a ‘robo-debt’. wow. 

Okay, okay, I know. I should try and look at this from another angle. Why was he forced to leave his work? Was it him that was bullied, or was he the bully? To start it off there. Still, it’s a life lost and I can’t imagine how helpless he must’ve felt. The mounting misery that can make it seem like a dead-end... My dad once told me, that in our adult life we will never be free of debt (HECS, etc) so we might as well live it. It made sense to me then, but after my own experiences, it’s better to leave the debt at uni fees only. Plus, it’s good to live an honest and simple lifestyle. I get that people are mostly materialistic and want to fit in by keeping up with appearances--nothing against that, I know how toxic society can be. But I personally advocate for self-awareness and mental health, two most crucial things before anything else in life, in all honesty. Most problems can be solved internally (from asking ourselves) only if we are self-aware. That's why I want to be a counsellor because, while being in the business field can lead you to good things, I don’t think the world needs anymore business people than it does people who are self-aware. Healing the mind and the self can be just as successful, if not more, than doing business. But I understand how the world works, rather unfortunate actually, but it shouldn’t stop you from doing what’s right. But the good thing about today’s modern times -cue trumpet sounds- is that society is becoming more aware of mental health and the importance of it! So there’s some good news! And a light in my career prospects :D

Anyway, I managed to do some of my readings today--though not enough I confess, mainly because I caught up with a friend of mine and we were discussing song choices for an upcoming karaoke competition. How exciting! Honestly, I came for the prize (which is said to be worth $150 but I misread it for cash prize of $150), but I guess it’s fine because it’ll be fun! Though I don't plan to stay around after--it’s on a Thursday. On top of that, I also managed to get started with one of my missed lectures--also to be completed still. But all in all it was a great day! :D

Until next time!

Love,

Little Big Dreamer.

[littlebigdreamer]

Day 1.

Dear Friend,

How are you? Hope you’re well. Today I start a new semester at UWA, quite exciting really! How? Well I don’t want to sound like a nerd--though that’s not a bad thing either, I’m eager to start fresh that’s how. Since I’ve attended university, I’ve not felt this...focused?...prepared? Last semester I wasn’t sure whether I’d pass, considering my grades. But surprisingly I did! And just last week I volunteered at O-week! To be very honest I didn’t really expect much during my volunteering, but honestly, I’ve never felt more alive. Volunteering brought out the real me--the me that hasn’t been seen since high school days... when I was carefree and confident and... well, ignorant to all that I know now so, since I know all that I know now it’s more real, you know? Hope that wasn’t too confusing.

Anyway, volunteering definitely brought my lively spirit back. And I’m glad I did it. It’s nice to have this version of me back, and I suppose the effects of that is why I’m so excited and eager to go back to university this semester! It might wear off... who knows, but I’d sure like to enjoy every bit of it while it’s in me. 

Achievement of the day? I have this unit that requires soooo much reading--as a lot of humanities units do, but this time, I’m gonna aim to be on top of it! So today I managed to read 14 pages out of the total 26 pages of our first reading, and then tomorrow I’ll finish the rest of the 12 pages-- if I read 14 today, I can totally do 12 tomorrow, right? Sure can!

Oh! I almost forgot! The major win for the day (on top of the reading) was that I brought my ‘keepcup’! Well, it’s from Typo so not the original brand BUT! it’s the cutest thing--and I’m finally contributing to saving the environment with all my coffee intake! It’s a pink, double-walled(?) cup with the words: “I am procaffeinating” in bold and then underneath it: “in other words, not doing anything, until I have had coffee.” soooo cute! And I bought it only for $5. Bargain! Which saved me some money for my first coffee in it too--$3.69 for the usual regular flat white with almond milk. You know that stuff is usually charged at around $5? Not if you’re a student with a keepcup ;)

So anyway, wow this day had just been a lot of wins for me so far (yay!), this morning I put on my newly bought tinted face cream--oh my goodness, do you know how hard it was to find a BB cream without hearing the words “discontinued” twice? And to top it off, Priceline had so many brands for tinted sunscreen (next best thing for me) that it made me late for work yesterday! I ended up purchasing Cancer Council’s ‘Face Day Wear Moisturiser Matte’ in medium tint. I hoped it was the right colour for my face, and turns out it wasn’t too off which is great! It was lighter than the Swisse BB cream I’d been using previously, but the texture was light and spf 50+ so even better! Anyway, not a product placement (I did not get paid to write this), I’m just excited to use something I bought for just $14-$17(?), when I almost paid for another brand that would’ve costed me $35! Not only am I now saving the environment (keepcup), I also contributed towards cancer research and services--winning! 

Being a girl is hard, you know. I used to be very much into fashion, make-up and hair, until some deep reflecting happened many years ago, and now I appreciate cutting down to just three things: BB cream (or tinted sunscreen), brows, and lip balm. Of course sometimes I’d put on some lipstick too--ya girl needs some pink on her lips or she’d look sick for sure. But you know, I respect the girls who put so much time and effort to decorate themselves in more colours and glam--it’s painstakingly annoying having to remove it all on a lazy evening, but they keep marching on! And all the trendy fashion... I just... no longer want to put myself in that situation when really, I’m happy with just a t-shirt and jeans--the basics! I’m not going to blast at people who do follow the trends and fashion though, if they can afford it, and they’re true to themselves; to who they really are on the inside, then so be it. I mean clothes definitely are cute!

Anyway, on top of the new tinted sunscreen I bought, I also purchased a new mascara--which I haven’t worn in years! But I came across this one because it looked interesting and it called out to me... I heard it... just kidding it was in the middle pile on the floor. It’s the L’oreal ‘Paradise Extatic’ which is supposedly meant to grow your lashes(?) or make it longer(?)--something like that, and so far I’m loving the new addition to my daily routine! I also no longer have to rely on my dark brown eye shadow and worn-out slanted brush to fix my brows---I also bought Nyx’s micro brow pencil, which will take more practice for me I admit, brows are still one of the most time consuming things I do every.damn.time.

So there you have it. Today I felt great, looked great (in my humblest opinion), and ticked off things on my to-do list. I hope you’ve also had a great day, the little wins in life are definitely a mood-booster. Until next time!

Love,

Little Big Dreamer.

PS. I almost forgot it was a Monday--more wins because: new episode of Running Man! Gosh this day just keeps getting better. :D