littleamericanduck

[littleamericanduck]

They should hide a secret layer of yummy taste under all the nasty taste on Nintendo switch cartridges to reward the children whose hearts are most devoted and true

[littleamericanduck]

[littleamericanduck]

Every single time someone mentions police role-playing in a sexual context I think of this tinder interaction and I instantly become absolutely stricken with laughter

[littleamericanduck]

[littleamericanduck]

*calls employer after job interview*

me: oh um, hello, i was here for a job interview last week and i was just wondering how it went? *clenches teeth and holds my breath*

employer: oh sorry the job opening went to someone else

me: is it my pussy stink or…..?

[littleamericanduck]

job interviewer: ok thats all for me do you have any questions before we move on?

me: what if a dracula show up 😰

interviewer: omg fuck😖 no. just no.

[littleamericanduck]

everyone get unemployed. i will provide for us.

[littleamericanduck]

feeling like the health inspector

[littleamericanduck]

[littleamericanduck]

let's be bad at video games together

[littleamericanduck]

[littleamericanduck]

this stupid little beaver bitch

[littleamericanduck]

this frame from the fallout tv show is so funny i nearly puked watching it

[littleamericanduck]

How I feel posting

[littleamericanduck]

I have 76 pages of cookie clicker on my phone

keep going. you can start deleting family pictures if you need more space

[littleamericanduck]

Timothy Chalamet passed away last night after choking on a single frozen unchewed green pea. Family members confirmed his passing in a statement to the media "it's how he liked to eat them"

[littleamericanduck]