little-perfectionist

[little-perfectionist]

lightroom

whew. i finally got to start trying out lighroom on my own and tadaaa the first edit.

BEFORE:

AFTER:

the editing process was pretty theraupeutic!!! really hope to up the skills before exchange heh.

[little-perfectionist]

me time

i had been wanting to blog for the past 2 week but couldn’t find time i had away from humans to think about my post-dp life. 

hokay so in the past week, i have been trying to catch up with schoolwork (a mountain of them) and also catch up with friends who i have kinda neglected over the dp period. school work is very meh, and like i went through this phase of questioning my choice of major because i literally couldnt understand a single thing from the lecture/ test. but it is all good, cos i have friends in college who helped and also ms lee texted me to remind me why i actually do what i am doing now. :”) and also i just got back my korean results ytd; wasn’t as well as i expected but definitely did spur me on to do even better at finals. i really want that A. anyhoo, back to school work, lab report really sucks but i really got a lot of help from jubs, ian and grace. thank you beautiful human beings, y’all will get good karma hehe.

also, last weekend ogang celebrated bryan’s and my 21st birthday (it’s one month late for me cos i was soooooo busy during dp) but like it was SUCH a good day spent with them. basically they gathered early at jingwen’s house to cook (!!!) a really good meal with pizza, pasta, nuggets, hasbrown etc. the food was sooooo good and i was so touched to see the platter on the table and also like they designed one side of a wall in jingwen’s house for us to take photos, it was like a legit birthday party minus all the mega groups of friends cos you know we exclusive hehe. and also none of us were planning to have a 21st birthday party because we lazy af, so seeing them put in so much for us really made me super happy:”) it’s been 8 years since we first met and i still wonder how i got so lucky to be blessed with such beautiful souls hheehe. cheesecake was REALLY awesome and we basically just chilled the rest of the day at jingwen’s house (played with make up too hahah) and then went to dte to chill even more (cos we were too full for dinner). they also bought me a pair of white superstar that i really really wanted and the right size omg love them. hue. ok photos:

^this was before we played with makeup AHAHAH

and this as us trying to be unicorns but liken zhiyu really want’s to live his dream  of an eagle. hahahaah these dumbdumbs are hilarious.

that day was a really really happy one for me. somehow i feel extremely charged when i spend a day with them. i definitely will see these people grow up and grow old and we will still spend our dates reminiscing lame ass sec sch memories but it’s us and i love us hehe. 

also right, i decided not to do senior rentention. 2 years was more than enough for me, it is time to go home and spend time with the fambam. excited for post-college life but definitely will miss it a hell lot. but first, exchange (oh and i bought my air tickets to korea omg WHEW).

my thoughts are super incoherent in this post as usual but ya. glad to have parked all these memories and thoughts here wew. week 7 is ending, time to get my shit together. 

[little-perfectionist]

r4dp17

3 months just poofed by in like 30minutes. 

The past 3 months had been nothing short of fun, challenging and fulfilling all at the same time. I signed up for 3 dance items not very sure of what I was signing up for but I really didn’t regret my decision one bit. The genres of all 3 items were so different and I got to see what I actually have most fun doing. Hiphop, Urban, Jazzfunk all so cray but all so guuuud. Never going to try contemporary still cos lel pigs really can’t fly ahaha. 

Along the way I fell, I stood back up I broke down and pieced myself back together. It was such a physical and emotional rollercoaster for me but I promised myself that I will make it on stage because I have been waiting for almost 8 years to get back to dancing on stage again. 

The lights, music and applause you get to feel on stage really make all the pain in your legs worthwhile. The 3 months led up to the moment when I lifted my head for the ‘street’ in m.a.a.d city and the applause I received after cold water. Somehow I felt the pain dissapitate away from me and adrenaline kick in the moment the first beat dropped. So good. I can’t put those overwhlming emotions I felt on stage in words but yeah it was an extraordinary feeling.

Once the show started, there was no time to breathe, I sped from one formation to another, changed from one costume to another, ran from one item to another. There wasn’t much time for me to feel nervous or feel the pain in my knees, I really went all out on stage and I am so thankful that I didn’t let pain distract me. 

I am super thankful for the people in R4D and the amazing experience DP has granted me. From people who picked me up from my fall, to people who kept me going till the finishing line and the people who congratulated me post-production... I really would not have made it without the support of beautiful human beigns. Thank you friends for keeping Janice alive. 

DP may be over but I will get back to dancing, once the knee sorts itself out.

[little-perfectionist]

#yarnice ✨

[little-perfectionist]

progress

nearing the end of week 1 and i think i am well on track with my resolutions? monday was probably the most productive of my entire life and i am super grateful to have friends like the cloungers to tell me they are proud of me (hi yarn). like it may seem like i am fishing for compliments from my friends but i feel like they give me constant reminders that i am ok and i am getting progress. hmm how to phrase it?? but like i am actually super needy of encrouagement if not i would really not get things done. 

and dance. pracs got significantly less intense; it think because 1. my body is used to this shagness, and 2. blocking takes over; and blocking means lots of waiting time. 

(ok i broke off last week typing this post and i forgot how i planned it in my head but anw this is me writing a week later, hi.)

this week was a stark difference from the last. feeling so unmotivated on a daily basis, and also likely pulled a muscle really badly over the past week. have been feeling really shitty the past couple of tdays but it is so hard to not let it show. the irony is that it is only week 2 and i am already feeling burnt out(?). i hate feeling unhappy and yet onot be able to do anything about it??? like there is no solution to negative emotions?? bad timtable (no free days) just means less time with the cloungers and more time spent getting lost in lectures. so much to catch up already. really want to wake up one day feeling refreshed and good about myself but it is so hard. 

want to find the motivation (pre-week 1) back again but not sure how i can do this. 

[little-perfectionist]

drive

i’ve been talking to yarn (hi yarn) about being motivated to do really well this sem. i feel like after a really bad sem last sem i kinda woke up??? to realise that mebbe i need to be more on the ball and change the way i am studying to produce better grades and survive as a healthy human being (instead of a sleepless rotten soul). 

the mods this sem are NOT easy, but that doesn’t mean that i won’t give my all. really want to maintain good grades for korean too!!! (or do even better cos no dream is too high to reach ya?) 

feel like this sense motivation seems familar but i hope it does not wear off this time. i really want to leave for exchange with better grades locked in before freezing the cap. really really genuinely. cos the sight of Bs and Cs on my transcript is trult tramautising. 

ok so this sem, i want to: 1. prepare for classes – meaning go through lecture notes before class and do tutorials (never had tutorials in a while) 2. start doing my notes early so i won’t end up like a panicky sheep near finals 3. treat every mod like how i do korean (but still my one true love) 4. practise practise practise – esp cm1401 (got to own them freshies) 5. be disciplined enough to focus on my tasks before getting distracted by the entire world 6. sleep enough every night – and mebbe aim for 12am every night?  7. cut down on carbs, eggs and seafood (esp prawns) 8. drag yarn on this journey too ahhahaah no escape from me yarn.  ok that’s all i can think of now. let’s see how this goes and uhm mebbe also work on my typos for everything so that yarn/ other friends won’t puke blood reading what i write. (i think i took the first step by re-reading this post to check for errors once.)

in other news, school officially starts tmr.

[little-perfectionist]

HAHAHAHAHAHAH so funneh

[little-perfectionist]

2017 thoughts

never thought 2017 would actually come/ i would actually live to see 2017 (cos you know im born in the 90s, so like crossing the millenium was already a WOAH then aanother decade i’m like WOAHWOAH).

hmmmm new year’s resolutions... actually thought about them in the shower many times. and then today i watched this video of a girl talking about how a new year’s resolution shouldn’t limit us, and we shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves even if we don’t fulfill it the first time; cos life is filled with ‘a thousand more little moments’ that will actually help us work things out. mind you, that girl is probably only 5/6yo and the words she said actually did hit home. 

back to my resolutions:  1. i want to adopt a healthier diet (not for my weight, but more for my health); this means eating less high cholesterol food (e.g. seafood my love), and cutting down my carbs (my other love). been finding myself devouring on really unhealthy food options the past yar and i think i ought to watch my diet after seeing how my mum is now given lifetime medication to keep her cholesterol under control. nah i don’t wanna die young, esp studying all the biochemistry yada yada. 2. i want to be a better friend. hmmm this is a tricky one but i don’t exaclty know how to start? lately i start noticing that i am actually pretty tactless – like especially when i talk about stuff and give passing comments that didn’t matter to me but may actually mean a great deal for the other person. i want to be more aware of how i carry myself in front of others; and as much as those who matter won’t mind, i want to be a considerate, rsponsible and reliable (?) friend. i have no idea how this will actually work out but i really want to make this friendship thing work and invest my time in people who matter. not sure if i am even making sense but maybe i will write about it again. 

basically those are my main two thoughts for the year. 2016 had been a year of a hell lot of ups and downs (probably one of my craziest years) and i just hope i learn from 2016 and do better as a human being in 2017 (which also includes pulling up my cap back to a second upper:(). need to find my motivation back for so many things and need to get over people and need to learn to manage my emotions. so many things are actually running through my mind rn and i’ m getting a little incoherent but i guess at the end of 2017 i hope to look back and congratulate myself for keeping my promises and maturing to become a responsible 21yo.

[little-perfectionist]

christmas

more than halfway into the winter break; about 2 weeks left till school starts, to be exact.

was just reading blogs (friends and mine), and got reminded how therapeutic it is to write and how many typos i can humanly make in a single post. but anyhoo, here i am. 

this holidays had been filled with DP pracs (every day except saturdays) (as expected), but it could not have gone better. as uch as the daily travelling kills my soul slowly, i love to see teeny bit if improvements in myself and i love how i get to see my happy virus jun alost everyday. thankful for the expereience and even though things will only get harder when school starts, i will really miss this routine dance pracs i have in preparation for dp.

i have only been out enoying my holidays say like less than 5 times this month? nonetheless, i am super thankful for the conversations and much needed quality time i get to spend with my family and friends. incl. keziah (who came back from Aussie after a year), vanbij and ogang!!!! heart always feels warm and fuzzy knwoing that i have friends liek them whom i can spill my heart out to and be myself and they accept me for the way i am.

oh and this thing about being myself. had a few conversations with d about being myself and can see how we will potentially disagree on it but anyhoo, i am over it. 

this holiday also included me spotting many of my friends (tons actually) updateing their insta with photos in japan. like litearally at least 10 people i know went to japan this winter. got me real jealous and made me miss korea a lot. but yay less than a year till im back to the land of jjimddak and adventures with tingfang and seonbin!!! really can’t wait hehehe. 

also, about christmas. it’s christmas today but my family doesn’t do any celebration of sorts. bro is out, grandma is out, parents are sleeping and im going out in a bit. ahaaha. kinda wish our family gathered together more, but hmmm we ain’t like that. note to self: when i have a family of my own in the future, make time for family.

merry christmas, everyone. thanks for listening to my random blabbering.

[little-perfectionist]

Year 2 Sem 1

i died.

really though, it was THE hardest sem i have had (to be fair i overloaded with 6 mods and all of them were either content heavy mods or time-consuming mods). my life was a whirlwind since week 4, endless submissions and tests meant that i slept at 3am/4am every night ans waking up at 8/9am every day. it was all going fine (like i felt my stamina for staying up late was imprving) untill week 13 i really felt like my soul as rotting inside of me (just really really REALLY drained every single day). 

except for korean 3, i consistently fared mbadly for most of my core mods and that did not help. motivation was soooo low throughout the sem. funny hthing is,i actually onlyreally found some rest in reading week leading up to finals because i forced myself to adopt a good healthy sleep cycle of 12 to 8 every day. and i did feel better but the papers still rekted me.

nonetheless, i had a really aamzing friends who basically kept me together throughout the sem. espcially yarn!! loved it when she kept me company in my room and stuck through as my study buddy throughout reading week and exam week. so so so thankful for her.

this winter break i will literally be specding every single day dancing in preparation for DP. though the travelling time to school kills, i am actually pretty excited to start dancing again!! (feeling like a hugass fat blob this whole time). 

i really hope i make good use of this holdays to do stuff i love and reconnect with people i have neglected over the semester!!! 

here’s to a great winter break ahead!!!!

[little-perfectionist]

One year of us ✨

[little-perfectionist]

#roadtofinals

[little-perfectionist]

road to finals

i haven’t blogged in so long i am actually excited to be writing this hehe. 

anyhoo, it is finally reading week. though it means exams are only a few days from now (bless me i start this saturday), i feel like i am actually getting enough rest this week, finally. been trying to aintain this sleep early wake up early thing that ted kinda inspired me to do; so i have been calling it a day at 1230 and waking up at 0745 to start my day. it has actually been really good for me and i really feel good/ way better than that souless slob i was the entire sem. i am going to try keeping up with this healthy sleep cycle thing (and start sleeping at 1230 soon) and get my life back in place. next sem if i can be this healthy it would be awsome:’’)

common lounge dispersed this finals (as with most finals), but what is different this time is that i finally moved my ass out of the clounge. the SRs are actually extremely conducive for studying cos like it’s super quiet so all of us are forced to whisper/ not talk which helps me concentrate too heheh. (side note: i actually always verablly spell out quiet when i’m typing it, else i am paralysed hahahahha i think it’s quite funny thou). also i found a way to study 02, and i cna better understand nobert’s contents now which is a huge relief for me but then it sets me thinking like THE HECK HAVE I BEEN UP TO THE ENTIRE SEM!?

having yarn and char as my study buddies also makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. although we have occassional distracting interactions, the fact that we are all there for each other makes me feel really comforted. 10min power naps, chocolates, sharing revision progress (across v v v different majors - life science, accounting and social work), toilet jios, long walks around yale to destress, snap/photo-taking sessions to commerate our road to finals. i am going to keep all of these precious memories in my little brain because i really have no idea how my battles with finals will be like in the future without them:’(

received welfare packs from people and gave out welfare packs to friend. something about this feels very fulfilling – like i actually am able to be there to cheer someone on. hope my lovely friends appreciate the gesture and have it as a reminder that they are not alone in this battle. so thankfulfor the many welfare packs i have received too, my heart is so full.

no idea how much well i will perform at finals but i do feel like i am giving my all this time. really hope it pays off. genuinely. 

[little-perfectionist]

heart to heart

today didn’t turn out as productive as i had liked it to... but. it was so valuable in so many ways. 

went for lunch with yarn, yihui and ted and it was a good meal cos we got to talk about stuff and laugh stupid stuff off, and it really rechaged me after a week of lerthargy. yihui is such a nice person i really hope his wounds heal soon:( rooting for u pal!!

after lunch jun passed me a present she got for dom and i at bux!!!!!!! like she bought both of us mugs and im soooo happy about it. always wanted a mug in college and i have always been eyeing on bux merch so i was so surprised and so happy and so thankful for jun. (next week i wil give out my welfare packs and i hope people feel recharged receiving them too!!)

main point of the whole day was my random htht with yarn in the impending rain/rain. felt really good to take time out of both ofour really busy schedules to be there for each other. felt like i sorted out a lot of my thoughts in that session and yarn helped me see a lot of stuff that i didn’t. i have also come to accept the fact that liking someone doesn’t mean you have to be with the person and when in doubt, follow your heart. so thanful that i opened up to yarn about things and we both enhoted each other’s company:’’’) thank you yarn, i really love you lots and i genuinely can’t imagine college life without an emotional support like you.

i really hope i get to do this more so that i can let people know that they are important, and that their thoughts and emotions matter.