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litteral-sunshine-ao3 · 2 years ago

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Aromantic boat boys - Joel&Etho

for the record I'm aro/ace

no romantic shipping

rating: general audiences

Joel had loved before.

Obviously, he had. He was hundreds of years old, he was a celestial being, a god. His domain was all forms of love. Of course Joel had experienced love in countless different ways before. But this? This was fundamentally different than anything he had ever felt.

He hadn't actually noticed how deep these feelings ran until he was alone again. For the millionth time, his finger hovered over the 'send' button. Joel didn't know why he struggled so much just sending a damn text. It wasn't even to the person he had so painfully fallen for. He just wanted to ask Grian if he knew Ethos comm ID so be could get in contact with him again. And yet...

A blush burned on Joels face at just the thought. He sighed heavily and decided to get it over with. It took only a couple of seconds for Grian to reply, sending the contact immediately.

It was so easy. Joel could've- he should've done this weeks ago, when he first noticed how deep he was in love. But he hadn't and it confused him because logically, there was no reason for him to be afraid, to be scared, to be anxious about any of this.

But it was Etho.

He was an actual god, for heaven's sake! Joel shouldn't be this nervous by any means. But he was. Because it was Etho . He swallowed thickly and shook his head to clear his thoughts. He could do this. He'd just send a text to Etho, telling him he really enjoyed spending time with him during Double Life and that he wanted to keep in touch- because they were friends now. It would be easy. It was just a text. Joel could do this.

Later that day, when night had fallen, Joel found himself staring into a liquid that was far too brightly colored to be healthy. It was his fourth drink that evening and he downed it far too quickly. He allowed the alcohol inside it to affect his mind, so he could swim in the gentle buzz of it. The owner of the tavern Joel was in happened to also be his friend and to be sitting across from him at the table. Scott sighed and took the now empty glass out of Joels hand, replacing it with a bottle of water. He was about to scold Joel for drinking too fast, too much, but Joel cut him off. "I can't do it Scott. Why the hell can't I do it?" Scott looked at him worried. "What can't you do?" Joel groaned. "A text. It's just a stupid text and I'm- I'm nervous." He closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to look at Scotts worried expression. "I've loved before and it was never an issue. I just... Tell people how I feel and sometimes it works out, often it doesn't, but it also doesn't matter. I'm a god of love, Scott. I shouldn't be nervous about being in love."

Scott chuckled and leaned back in his chair. So Joel had girl trouble? That was something Scott was sure he could help his friends with. "You're right, you've done this before, there's nothing to be scared of. It can be scary sometimes, fear of rejection can hit all of us. But you'll never know how she feels if you don't talk to her."

Joels eyes shot open. He stared at Scott. "What did you say?" Scott raised an eyebrow. "You'll never know how she feels if you don't talk to her? I know that you know I'm right. Living with constant regret, asking yourself if it could have worked is so much worse than getting rejected. So tell her."

Joel suddenly laughed quietly. "I- you're probably right. But you know- he's not a woman." Scott blinked a couple times. "He's not... Wait, you're not straight?" Joel shook his head. "Nah. I'm a god of love, Scott. I don't discriminate." He took a big sip of his water. "I know he's gay, for the record. I just... I'm not even afraid of rejection, I know it would hurt if he wouldn't want to be with me. But I'd genuinely be just as happy to just be his friend." Scott hummed. "So... What are you scared of?" Joel sighed. "I don't know. That's the problem. If I knew what was causing this I could fix it ." Scott reached out and put a hand on Joel's. "You should talk to him, Joel. I don't know who this is about, but my point still stands. Never trying is going to be much worse than this. At the very least it will give you closure." After a second of silence, he added "If you want, you can text him now. I'll be here for emotional support."

Joel smiled at Scott and pulled out his comm. "Alright. Alright, I can do this."

It was way too late when Etho finally noticed just how long he'd spend working on his latest redstone project. He stretched his arms and back out, wincing at several joints popping. A ping from his communicator pulled him out of his thoughts. Etho pulled the device our at yawned as he opened looked through his messages. An unknown number? That was odd, he didn't remember giving his ID out to anyone lately...

(Unknown number): hey Etho, this is Joel! I got your comm ID from Grian, I hope you don't mind me texting you. I had a lot of fun during Double Life and I was hoping we could maybe try to stay in touch? I really liked talking to you.

So it was Joel? Etho usually didn't like people from other servers to have his number, but Joel had been very fun to talk and hang out with, so he guessed he could make an exception.

(EthosLab): hey Joel :D I don't mind you texting me, but please don't give my ID out to anyone. We can definitely stay in touch, I had a lot of fun with Double Life too. Maybe we can talk more tomorrow? It's late and I really should get to bed soon.

(Smallishbeans): of course! It is pretty late, I should probably get to sleep too

(EthosLab): alright, we'll talk tomorrow then! Good night Joel <3

Etho closed his comm and went on his way back to his base. He didn't think about the heart he had added to the message until the next day. The hermits were very close to eachother and sending hearts was pretty common, so he didn't think much of it.

Joel was not as used to it as Etho was.

"Scott he send me a heart! I'm gonna faint." He looked like he was about to faint, Scott had to admit, even if he rolled his eyes fondly. "See? I told you he wouldn't hate you." Joel smiled wide and continued staring at his comm. "He send me a heart." Scott chuckled. "You really are down bad, aren't you?" Joel sighed and finally put the device away. "You don't- no you probably do get it, actually. He's so pretty, it's unfair." Scott smiled softly. "I haven't seen you this happy in a long time... I hope you'll tell me who this person is one day." Joel blushed. "I will, but not for now... I want to hold on to this feeling for a little while, I want to keep it to myself for a bit. Is that selfish?" Scott shook his head and poured them both another drink. "It isn't, that's perfectly normal."

Etho didn't love easily. It just didn't come naturally to him like it did with other people. He had always envied some of his friends, like Keralis and Ren, for being able to fall in love quickly. That being said, if Etho did love someone, his love was unconditional and eternal. Perhaps that was why he didn't love as freely.

The only person that Etho had ever truly loved was VintageBeef, his best friend of many years and it had taken Etho over 10 years to fall in love with him. He had told Beef immediately after finding out and they had been dating ever since. Etho was happy with Beef. Many of the hermits had made it very clear that they would love to date Etho in the past, but Etho had declined them. Not because he wasn't single, gods no. Most of the hermits were polyamorous, himself and Beef included. Etho was just not really in love with any of them.

And that was okay. That was just the way Etho was- loving someone was nice, but Etho himself didn't need or even want to love to be happy.

Even his feelings for Beef... He cherished Beef, he cherished the feelings he had for him and the relationship they had, but in the end, Etho would've been just as happy to love him from afar. And if he was being honest with himself, that was what he was doing. Loving from afar. Because Beef and Etho, even if they were dating, they didn't actually go on dates or even kiss a lot.

Which was fine with Etho. That was the way Etho preferred it- to have his love not explicitly reciprocated, but still knowing that it was.

Aromanticism sure could be confusing sometimes.

Joel had a very different, tho somehow similar view on love. He loved loving. The concept of loving someone was precious to Joel, holy even. Not that it should be that surprising, really. Joel was a god of love after all. But the thing was... Joel didn't actually like dating people. The concept of giving yourself to another completely was fascinating to him and there were very few things that he enjoyed more than helping his friends to achieve that kind of happiness.

It just wasn't for him, personally. He was, just like Etho, more than happy to sit back, to watch, to love from afar.

Which was why Joel was absolutely terrified.

The only person he had ever talked to about his rather complicated and confusing thoughts on love and relationships had been Lizzie. And Joel had only told her because they were married- because Joel didn't like marriage. The whole concept actually made him uncomfortable to an almost extreme extend.

He had spend countless years believing he was sick or something similar. That was, until he had found the meaning of aromanticism.

The revelation had broken his heart. A god of love, incapable of loving others? Surely it must be some cruel joke.

But it wasn't.

Telling Lizzie had hurt even more. In the end, they found an arrangement that they were both comfortable with, but Joel had never been able to forgive himself for the heartbreak he had put Lizzie through. For all that he lacked in romantic attraction towards her, he still cared for her deeply- she was his best friend. Even after all that the two of them had been through, she was still his best friend.

And in his own way, Joel adored and loved her for it. Purely platonic.

Etho and Joel started talking to each other more and more each day. The more they talked, the more they looked forward to getting to know eachother even better. Joel had managed to give Etho something that he never thought he'd be able to find. The feeling of being cared for and loved without it being romantic.

At least for a little while.

A few months after they started talking more regularly, a thought entered Ethos mind and it wouldn't leave. What if Joel loved him?

What if Joel would end their friendship if he found out that there was no way that it could grow into something more?

The thought alone had Ethos heart clenching, his chest aching, his breathing stuttering.

Somewhere deep in his soul, Etho recognised the feelings he had developed for Joel as love. And that... That scared him. The only reason why his relationship with Beef had worked out was because Beef was very understanding about Ethos boundaries. He had also been there for Etho when he figured out his (lack of) romantic attraction and he had been aware of Etho being aromantic before they had even talked about anything.

Etho didn't know if Joel even knew what the term meant. And he hated having to explain himself to anyone, especially when it came to this topic.

So he kept quiet for a while. But the longer he stayed silent, the more the feelings were eating him up inside. He wanted to have something else than just a friendship with Joel. Something that wasn't romantic, but not purely platonic either. They'd been on the line between those two for a month at that point, but Etho was almost scared that Joel might want to cross that line.

And at this point, he didn't want to go to either side anymore.

Maybe, Etho thought one night, maybe he was being selfish. Joel had been flirting with him, he had been offering Etho his love and so far, he hadn't expected Etho to offer his own.

But something deep inside him screamed at him that one day, Joel would demand Etho to make a decision- to love him or not to.

But Etho didn't want to choose. He wanted to do both and neither. He wanted Joel to keep offering his love to him and he wanted to have the freedom of not being forced to reciprocate at all times.

Etho wanted to stay on that line between platonic and romantic, not moving to any side.

Unbeknownst to Etho, Joel too was terrified of the direction their relationship was going. Loving Etho came almost too easy to Joel and he was scared that one day, Etho would actually take his advances further. He knew that if Etho would decide to flirt back to him, Joel would loose interest.

That was just the way he was- he wanted to love Etho, but he didn't want Etho to actually reciprocate, at least not most of the time.

There was a fine line between platonic and romantic attraction, Joel knew that better than most. Joel adored that line. He wanted to stay there forever.

In the end, it was Etho who invited Joel to hermitcraft for one day. The growing tension between them was driving Etho insane. He knew that Joel was worried, maybe even scared of something, but he didn't know what it was and he needed to find out.

So he decided to be an adult about it and try to do the "healthy communication" that Beef had been beggin him to try.

That's how Joel found himself on the hermitcraft server, in Ethos base, sitting in Ethos kitchen and playing nervously with the hem of his shirt. Etho sighed as he took Joel in. "Joel, I... I think we should talk." Joel tensed up and gulped. "I- I think you're right. This... This... Whatever this is between us." Etho leaned against the door and sighed. Joel stared at the ground, desperately trying to keep himself from looking at Etho. He was not prepared for the hurt in his eyes that he would surely see soon. "Joel. I need to make something clear." Etho sounded just as nervous as Joel felt. "I... I don't want to date you."

Joel's head snapped towards him. "You... You don't? You don't want to- to have a romantic relationship with me?" Etho shook his head. There was a sadness in his eyes. "I'm sorry Joel, I didn't mean to lead you on or anything, I just... I don't know if you're familiar with the term, but I'm cupioromantic. It's..." Joel gasped loudly, suddenly moving to stand in fron of Etho.

"You're on the aromantic spectrum!" His eyes were filled with joy and there was relief heavy in his words. Etho nodded slowly. "Yeah? I'm surprised you know that, actually. You... You don't seem sad about it?" Joel smiled brightly at him. "I'm not sad at all! I'm- I'm lithromantic." Etho swore an entire mountain fell of his heart. He could only manage to stare at Joel in disbelief. "You... What?" - "Lithromantic! I, I love you, but I don't want you to reciprocate. I want to love you, but not actually have a relationship." Etho slumped back against the wall. "That- oh that's such a relief! I- I like the way we've been talking. I really like being loved, but I can't- I can't reciprocate it." Joel laughed lightly. "I guess we really were made for each other, huh?" Etho chuckled along with him. "I suppose we were."

Joel smiled at him. "Etho, can I hug you? I really want to hug you right now." Etho smiled underneath his mask and moved to wrap his arms around Joels waist, pulling him into a tight hug. Joel sighed as he sank into the feeling, resting his head on Ethos shoulder as he wrapped his arms around Etho as well. They stood like that for a few minutes. Etho eve fully broke their comfortable silence. "I'd like to have a special term to call you, because you know... we're not quite just friends. But obviously we're not boyfriends, so..." Joel hummed against his neck. "...I like the idea of that. How about... partner? It's a bit more ambiguous. You know, like it could be romantic, or we could just be working on some project together or something." Etho smiled and leaned into Joels body heat a little more. "Yeah..." He started to geny play with Joels hair.

"Yeah I like that."

#boat boys #double life #double life boat boys #ethoslab #smallishbeans #non-romantic shipping #aromantism #aromantic characters #cupioromantic #lithromantic #fanfiction #double life fanfic

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litteral-sunshine-ao3 · 2 years ago

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5 times fWhip really needs a break and the 1 time he actually does get to rest (feat. Smallishbeans)

No romantic shipping

rating: general audiences

(1)

The first time fWhip realized he was putting too much responsibility and work on himself, the empires server hadn't existed yet.

He was a young man, almost still a boy, fresh out of the admins academy. Studying code had been awfully hard, but very rewarding. fWhip was excited- extatic even- to start his own server, to look after a handful of people in the special ways only admin could.

He had always had the dream of creating a world that could be a safe place for all people of any kind. Hybrids, magical beings, even celestials he would welcome with open arms and a warm smile.

fWhip had to realise soon, however, that the task was not that easy or quick to be handled. Even after graduating from the admins academy, he still had to go through a lengthy process of requesting his own server, getting it approved and get permission to use the strings of code that allowed for hybrids and most magical beings to show their true forms and make use of all their abilities.

That last one seemed to be the highest burden. The specific code needed for that was hard to come by, under heavy regulations and usually wasn't given to beginner admins like fWhip. In the hands of the wrong people, that kind of world could easily become an interdimensional threat.

Proving that he had no ill intentions and that he was capable of running a server full of hybrids was near impossible. fWhip had known that when he decided what kind of server he wanted to run, but actually trying was much more exhausting than he anticipated.

But fWhip didn't give up. He couldn't give up. This was all he ever wanted to do. He had spent years and a good amount of diamonds to study at the academy, he had gotten his server approved fairly quickly, he had simply come too far to give up.

And so, he worked relentlessly, for months, day and night, getting just enough sleep to function half-normally, learning the ins and outs of all the rules, regulations and laws for hybrid servers.

In the end, he got his code approved, but not because of any of the work he put in, no. The reason he was allowed to run his sever how he intented was because an anonymous celestial - a god - had put in a word for him and insisted to the admins council that fWhip was fully capable of this job.

fWhip should be grateful. He knew he should've been. And he was, truly, he was. But he couldn't help the frustration and disappointment he felt at the fact that none of his work had been enough for the admins. The council had made it abundantly clear that fWhip wouldn't have these permissions if the unknown god hadn't stepped in.

While fWhip thanked the celestial, in all the ways he could without knowing what God exactly helped him, he still felt a little bitter.

But eventually, he let his grudge go.

(2)

The second time fWhip realized he may have been just a little too ambitious, was when he received the first applications for his new server.

He had decided to call it "empires", as the premise was to literally build a home for yourself and live together with others in a safe world, free from any oppression against magical beings, which unfortunately still seemed to be a fundamental part of many servers.

He send out a public notice to all servers and worlds who want to receive it, stating the premise of this new server and asking for applications. He had gotten 11 responses, from all across the universe, a cast so diverse he didn't know how to make it work, at first.

The first to contact him was Solidarity, or Jimmy. Jimmy was a young merling hybrid, more accustomed to the waters than the land, tho he had the ability to live in both. He'd said he'd been in hiding for about 20 years, which was most of his life at that point. Jimmy didn't state explicitly why he had been hiding, only hinting that in the world he grew up in people weren't kind to hybrids of any kind. fWhip didn't care why Jimmy had to hide, all he cared about was giving him the chance to be himself and enjoy his life, without any sort of fear from his servermates.

Accepting him as a player was a no-brainer.

The next couple of responses came fairly quickly, and most of them kept their own personal history private, only occasionally hinting at a hybrid hunt or similarly barbaric traditions. There was Lizzie, a shapeshifter who was tired of hiding her abilities, Joey, a rather secretive man who insisted on not revealing his full hybridism, other than stating it was connected to deserts somehow. fWhip thought he may be a descendant of the husks, hybrids of hostile mobs tended to get the worst treatment. (He of all people would know, he was a descendant of the netherdragons after all, a species of hostile mobs that were deemed dangerous enough to be driven to complete extinction.)

There was also GeminiTay, a truly remarkable deer hybrid. Along with her hybrid status, she also submitted a portfolio of builds and other creative work she had done and to say fWhip was in awe wouldn't cut it close at all. The photos were stunning, the choice of blocks and the way Gem had used them were unique and quite simply perfect.

Then there was Shubble, a young witch who seemed a little timid in her first applications (later, fWhip would find out that Shubble wasn't timid, but rather anxious about not being accepted), she insisted over and over that she was a nice witch, with no intentions of harming anyone.

The next person came as a huge surprise to fWhip. His full, official name was Dangthatsalongname, but he was far more commonly known as Scott or Smajor. fWhip had heard of him before, of course he had. He truly believed there was not a single person over the age of 14 who hadn't heard of Scott at least once.

To be all honest, fWhip didn't even know how Scott had gotten as famous as he was. Nowadays, he did plan and host the Minecraft Championship, one of the most popular shows of all time with fans all over the uni- and multiverse.

But Smajor had been a very popular figure even before then.

The reason for his interest, according to the application, was simply that: interest. He thought the concept of a save heaven for hybrids was promising and wanted to see where the server would go. fWhip didn't think twice about accepting Scott. He might not have thought once, even.

Then there were Katherine and Pearlescentmoon, two women who were mostly looking for new friends. The next two applications came from Pixlriffs, a name fWhip had stumbled across sometimes on the rare occasion he wanted to delve more into redstone, but he seemed like a nice person who held a personal and genuine interest in learning about different hybrids and didn't want to pass up any opportunity to make them as a whole group feel more welcomed and accepted.

The other application was from MythicalSausage, an elytrian, who fWhip actually had expected to apply. Sausage had tried to learn code and even attended the admins academy for a while, but he went off to learn about building instead after getting his moderator degree. fWhip had shared a few courses with him at the beginning of his time in the admins academy and the two had tried to keep in touch after.

And then there was the last application. This one struck fWhip as a little odd. The man who submitted it was called Smallishbeans, but preferred to go by Joel. He was, according to his application, fully, completely, 100% human and, unlike Pixlriffs, he wasn't a scientist and had no interest in learning about hybrids or their culture. fWhip was hesitant to accept him at first, so he went out to meet him in person.

Upon meeting him, however, all of fWhips worries eased away. There were many reasons as to why. The first and most obvious were the giant, golden, shimmering wings that spread out behind Joel. The second was well- he was funny. Really funny, and nice to talk to outside of jokes, too. And, apparently, he had heard about the server through his wife- Lizzie, the shapeshifter, who fWhip had already accepted onto his world.

The most peculiar thing about Joel however was that he hadn't lied on his application- as soon as he entered the empires server, fWhip asked of he could check his code, and Joel agreed. fWhip was just plain curious about Joels biology, since nothing except for his wings indicated him not being human. And that is when he found out- Joel was, like he had said, 100% genuine human. No hybrid status or any magical properties could be found in his code at all.

Finding a way to house all these different players with their specific needs and adjustments to their unique physiology and biology proved to be very difficult. But, after a bit of troubleshooting, fWhip managed.

(3)

At the third time, the health of all his players and fWhips own was in danger.

Somehow, a demon had found its way onto the empires server. It was a demon of corruption and hatred, the corrupted files it left behind in the code of the world were all named "Xornoth" so that is what fWhip referred to the demon as.

Demons came in many different forms, with various ways and intensity of impact. A lot of them were harmless, only some were out for mischief and even fewer were actually hostile.

fWhip didn't mind demons. He was born and raised in the nether realm, where many demons found their home. fWhips family had been taken from him at a young age due to the hunt of nether dragons and a small village of fire demons took him in when he was around 7 years old. fWhip liked the demons, and he was quite familiar with their language and culture.

So, he tried to contact the demon in his world, Xornoth, to calm him down and explain that he was not in danger, that he had no reason to attack, since demons are generally welcomed on the empires server.

However, Xornoth refused to communicate with fWhip. The only response he got was after he spoke in the demons native tongue and it was just a very angry "leave me alone" spat out like it was venom.

fWhip was confused, to say the least. There was no reason for this demon to act hostile towards him or his players. There was no reason for Xornoth to corrupt the server files and spread red tentacles around.

And that's when the demon started corrupting the players codes.

Joey was first, then came Pixlriffs, Sausage and eventually, Scott. The worst fate however had Joel. The demon had managed to corrupt his memory files, making him oblivious to the threat lurking at every corner.

After Scott properly lost his mind, convinced that the only way to get rid of Xornoth was his own demise, fWhip decided he needed to put end to this.

The corruption had spread too far into the server by that point. Rescuing it was simply impossible. The only option fWhip had was to burn it all. To destroy ever last bit of code in this world, transfer his players onto a new one and shattering the old server into millions of little pieces.

And so, that's exactly what fWhip did. He made blood rain from the skies, forced the oceans to drain itself and every bit of corrupted water, shattered the earth hard enough to snap entire palaces in two, let fire rain on the lands and blew up his own empire until nothing was left but smoking ashes of the buildings that once stood as his pride and joy.

That was the end of the first server he created. That was the day fWhip found out just how far his powers could go if he needed them to. That was when the admins council recognised his talents and classified him as one of the highest ranking admins in the multiverse. That was when not only the gods, but also the watchers found an interest in him.

Later in his life, fWhip would come to learn that most admins did not have the power to pulverise their own worlds to ashes as they pleased, that his powers went far beyond that of even Xisuma, who was long known to be the most powerful admin of them all.

But that knowledge wouldn't come for a long, long time.

(4)

The fourth time nearly killed fWhip.

His hand was moving on its own, reflexively catching himself on the cave wall. The world around him was spinning, fWhip felt dizzy and nauseous, his knees were shaking, his whole body shivering.

How had it come to this? fWhip liked to think he didn't know. He liked to think there was no particular reason, perhaps he had just gotten sick down in the cold, wet caves.

But he couldn't pretend, couldn't lie to himself any longer. He needed a break. His body was screaming at him, begging him to sleep, to rest. But fWhip- he couldn't.

He couldn't allow himself to do that. There were things to do, versions to be updated, mods to be checked, code to check and repair, and fWhip was alone. He was the only one who could do this job for the empires server. He was the only admin on the server, the only one who had access to the server code, the only one who was keeping the server running and stable.

12 people relied on him now- and his own life depended on it too, of course. He couldn't stop. He couldn't take a break, he couldn't.

No matter how much he should.

That's why he let himself fall down to sit in the cave, placed a couple more torches to keep monsters away and opened the right windows to start his check-up routine.

The server seemed to be doing okay. A few bug fixes, but nothing out of the ordinary, nothing unusual, nothing he couldn't deal with.

The only thing he could find that was concerning, was that one of his players seemed to be in bad health.

fWhips vision blurred, the lines of codes sliding and slipping around, his eyes unfocused. His head was pounding, his chest was heaving, lungs were burning. But he needed to see who's stats had dropped so low, needed to see what they needed and get it to them as quickly as possible.

He needed to help his player. That was his duty as admin, that was his job. fWhip needed to fulfill that duty.

He forced his eyes to focus in the player name. With much effort he could deciffer it, only to find that it was his own.

It was him who's health had declined so rapidly, him who needed help, who needed to rest and sleep and heal. It was him who was hurt.

That was the last realisation fWhip made before his eyes slipped shut, exhaustion taking hold of his body, forcing him to rest finally.

He woke the next day, minutes away from being devoured by a zombie. He attempted to fight it, but soon found he couldn't lift his sword, his arms far too weak still. So, he did the only thing he could do: run. As fast as his legs would take him, as close to his house as possible.

It took entirely too long, but he eventually got home. He managed to gulp down some soup- more solid food was not an option at that moment- before he collapsed onto his bed, falling asleep immediately.

(5)

The fifth time, someone noticed.

The fainting happened more frequently now. fWhip knew it was only a matter of time before someone would find out about it.

And he was decidedly not looking forward to it. He didn't want to worry his players, didn't want them to think he was weak or incapable of his job. All things considered, all of his conditions taken into account, he was doing- he was doing good.

fWhip repeated it to himself like a mantra. He was doing good. He was doing the right thing by not giving up, never giving in. He was doing good. He was good. fWhip was good.

And yet...

Yet...

He had meant to visit Joel, more of a routine visit than anything else. To make sure that he and Stratos were doing alright. He had felt the feeling of fainting creeping earlier that day, but thought he would hold it off a little longer.

When he took a pause next to one of the buildings in Lower Stratos, one hand on the building wall, taking in a deep breath, fWhips knees suddenly buckled.

He fell towards the house wall, barely able to catch himself before he slid down onto the ground and stayed there. He could feel himself struggling to get up again, to open his eyes again, just for another second, before he was out cold.

When he woke up again, bright lights shone down onto him, causing fWhip to squint his eyes and blink rapidly against the tears in his eyes. He moved one hand to shield his eyes from the light. Then, he noticed a pounding headache plaguing him, feeling like someone was bashing his head repeatedly against a wall. Sharp spikes of pain cursed through his body every now and then.

fWhip groaned loudly, rolling around in what was far more comfortable than the ground had any right to be.

"fWhip?" Joel's voice sounded just a little too distant, but fWhip would recognise him anywhere. He makes a low humming noise in response. "fWhip, can you try to uncover your eyes, please?" fWhip groaned again, but slowly complied, turning back around and blinking heavily. "Is the light too bright?" He nodded as best as he could. He heard Joel move around a little, and then the light was turned down little by little until fWhip stopped blinking as heavily. His eyes adjusted to the knew light level and he could make out a white mattress that he was laying on.

Joel came back into his view, shrunken down to average human height, sitting down on the edge of the bed. He took a deep breath. "Can you talk right now?" fWhip took a moment to register the words. He opened his mouth to answer that yes, of course he could. But his vocal chords gave out on him. He closed his mouth again, a slightly guilty expression on his face as he shook his head.

"Alright. Alright, that's okay." Joel reassured, moving closer to fWhip. "I'll ask you a few questions okay? They'll be very simple." He held out his hands to fWhip, palms up. "If you want to say "yes" touch my right hand. This one." He lifted his right hand. "For "no", touch the left one." He lifted the other hand. "Can you do that for me?" fWhip reached out to touch Joel's right hand 'yes'.

Joel sighed in relief. "Okay, perfect. Thank you fWhip. First question: does anything hurt?" right hand. 'yes'. Joel nodded. "Can you show me where it hurts please?" fWhip pointed to his head. "Head? You have a headache?" Right hand again, 'yes'. "Alright. I will get you some medicine soon. my next question: can I help you with anything else?" left hand: 'no'. Joel nodded again. "Good, okay. I'll go get some medicine now. Don't move."

With that, he walked out the doors.

fWhip tried to move into a sitting position and after a little struggle, he succeeded. Luckily, he didn't have to wait long for Joel to return.

"I've got you some healing positions and an insta health one." Joel explained as he gently sat down at the edge of the bed. He handed one of the potions to fWhip. "Let's start with health to kick-start things, then get a healing potion in you." fWhip managed a small nod, reaching out to take the bottle. He took it from Joel and carefully opened it up, taking small sips until the bottle was empty.

He could feel the potion starting to kick in right away. The headache dulled a little and his throat felt a lot less raw than before.

fWhip looked at Joel when he handed him the bottle back and smiled. "Thank you." He said, his voice still very rough, but at least he could talk again. Joel visibly relaxed at the sound of it. "Oh bright stars I'm so glad that helped." He looked genuinely relieved. "Alright, let's get some more potions in you now, drink slowly and remember these take a while to fully show their affect, so don't drink too many." fWhip carefully downed two more potions under Joel's watchful eyes. When the second bottle was empty, fWhip started to properly feel his legs again. He hadn't even noticed that they'd gone numb, but now, slowly, a soreness settled into his joints that he was certain would stay for a while. He closed his and sighed.

A gentle weight pressed down on one of his knees. When he opened his eyes, he could see Joel's hand there. The man himself looked at fWhip carefully, worry still very clear on his face. "What... What was that about?" He asked. "I got worried when you didn't show up to our meeting on time so I went to see where you were. I searched the Goblands first, but came back when I couldn't find you." Joel sighed heavily. "You're lucky the villagers down in Lower Stratos found you and caused a bit of a commotion, otherwise I would've never found you." fWhip could feel heat rise to his face. He hadn't meant to be a bother to Joel, or to anyone. He shrugged lightly and looked away from Joel. "I just.... I just overworked myself a little. With all the admin stuff, you know? It happens, it's no big deal."

An uncomfortable silence fell over them and stretched over a few seconds. When Joel spoke again, his voice was gentle and soft. "fWhip... You really shouldn't push yourself this hard." fWhip sighed. "I know that, okay? I just..." He trailed off, staring at the ceiling for a second or two. He closed his eyes again and slumped back into the pillow behind his back. "I'm the only one on this server who knows code, so I have to manage everything by myself. Keep the server running, keep the mods and datapacks running, making sure everything stays stable, you know that sort of thing. There's a lot of daily tasks I've got to do, before I can even begin to think about doing anything lore-wise." fWhip sighed once again.

"And then I also have to build and take care of an empire, do business trips for trading, try to keep up with everyone else's lore so I know where my help might be needed more. Sausage has been causing me so much extra work and stress with all his dimension hopping and what not, it's been awful trying to keep this server together." Joel's hand moved on his knee now, rubbing in small circles that helped fWhip take a deep breath. "It's just a lot to do. I don't exactly have time to-" fWhip suddenly blushed a little out of embarrassment. "Ah forget that one." Joel scoffed. "I don't think I will forget about it. Go on, please, you don't have time for what?"

fWhip didn't meet his eyes when he said:

"I don't really have time to look after myself anymore."

Joels breath hitched at the words. His mind was racing a million miles per hour, he was extremely worried about his friend. "fWhip- oh, fWhip..." Joel's wings shuffled nervously. "I- can I hug you? I really want to hug you right now." fWhip nodded slowly and immediately found himself embraced by the other. He carefully wrapped his arms around Joel's waist, mindful of the wings, and smiled softly. Both of Joel's wings fluttered a little, then they spread slightly, as much as the room would allow, and moved to wrap gently around fWhip as well.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, until Joel slowly moved back and sat down again. One of his wings folded behind him again, but the other stayed where it was, curled around fWhip and pressing ever-so-lightly against his back.

(+1)

And then, finally, came a time where fWhip could actually allow himself to relax.

The timing was... Bad, to say the least. When Grian had contacted fWhip and asked him if he was interested in a collab with Hermitcraft, he had agreed immediately. Now, there was an interdimensional portal on his server that warped reality around itself and was the most fragile and unstable piece of code fWhip had ever layed eyes on. He spend countless hours by the rift, even went so far as to build a small house near it whe he could watch it easily. fWhip was more than happy to deal with this portal temporarily if it meant he could see his friends for a while, but it was increasingly more work he had to do.

Needless to say, he hadn't found time to look after the Goblands or come to talk to the other players recently. Especially since Sausages dimension hopping had been getting worse as well, leaving Sanctuary more and more unstable too. So fWhip had been spending more and more time travelling between the rift and Sanctuary, doing his best to make sure the server wouldn't collapse in on itself at either places.

The only comfort he ready got was that Stratos happened to be close to Sanctuary. Joel came to visit Sausage quite often, it seemed, mostly with their child, Hermes. However that happened. fWhip had decided long ago he wouldn't ask.

Most of the time when he came to Sanctuary, Joel was there. fWhip wasn't overly comfortable with letting the entire server know how much he was struggling to keep up with admin work nowadays, and Joel was the only person who knew he had struggled much before. So it was easy for him to spot the signs again.

fWhip realized after a while that Joel was seemingly perfectly timed to arrive in Sanctuary whenever he did, too. He was sure that Joel was keeping an active eye on him and his health to make sure he wouldn't collapse on him again. Somehow, fWhip thought it was quite endearing.

One day, when he was in Sanctuary, Sausage himself wasn't there, but Joel came flying from Stratos anyway. He landed next to fWhip and smiled brightly at him. "It's a wonderful day! It's perfect for a little walk, don't you think?" fWhip chuckled. "It's always nice in Sanctuary." Joel hummed. "Sure, sure. Say, have actually seen Sanctuary yet? You're always working when you come here. It's a beautiful place, I'd love to give you a tour."

fWhip wasn't dumb. He knew what Joel was doing- trying to get fWhip to take a break. He smiled and shook his head fondly. "Alright, alright, you win this time." He carefully closed the windows of code he was working on and pocketed his communicator. "Show me around then, but don't make it too long. Sausage dimension hopping had left this area a little... wonky." Joel laughed and slung an arm around fWhips shoulder, dragging him along. "Wonky, ey? That sounds like a lot of work for you." fWhip groaned as he walked next to Joel and ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "You have no idea, my friend."

They ended up walking around Sanctuary for longer than fWhip would've liked. The entire time, Joel kept asking him about his work and how stressful it had gotten. He seemed genuinely worried about fWhip, so the admin had sighed in resignation and tried his best to calm Joel down, assuring him that he would tell Joel if it got as bad as it did before.

At the end of the tour, Joel dragged fWhip over to a bench and sat them both down. Joel stretched his arms and sighed. "I've been thinking." Joel started. fWhip snorted. "Oh that's dangerous." Joel rolled his eyes and waved him off. "Right, whatever. You know how I'm human?" fWhip nodded. "Yeah, I know. I'm admins can see that sort of thing in a player code. It's weird tho, I mean you've got wings. I'm pretty sure other humans don't have those." Joel chuckled. "No wings are not a very human thing. I don't really like to talk about my heritage, it makes me a little uneasy. I did something a while ago, couple years back, that my family and most of our kind didn't like." He sighed and leaned back on the bench. "I have the power to mask my identity however well I please. The wings- I've always liked them, so I kept them when I ran away from home, but I made it so my code would say I'm human." fWhip stared at him.

"So wait, so you're... not human?" Joel shook his head. "I'm not. I don't want people to know. Lizzie knows, but no one else does. But... I think I can help you. With admin work, I mean. My kind have a knack for code and if you're willing to give some special permissions, we could split the workload so you won't have to deal with everything all alone." fWhip sat up straight and looked Joel directly in the eyes. "Joel I'm gonna need you to explain that one." Joel took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I know. I'm- I'm a celestial." fWhip blinked in confusion and perhaps shock. "A ... A celestial?!"

Joel nodded. "Yeah. I was born a god. Like, an actual god. If you're curious, my domain is rain, but my powers also cover smaller bodies of fresh water and, to a certain extend, fertility. Like, fertile soil, not the- other kind." fWhip stared at him for a long second. "Okay, okay, wow. That's- actually that makes a lot of sense."

Joel smiled and finally opened his eyes again, looking at fWhip from the side. "If you're up for it, I'd love to be a moderator for you. You know, help out with server things and all that stuff. I did go to admins school, I didn't have much to do after I left the celestial realm, and I have an admins' degree in player code sciences." fWhip could feel his eyes going wider. "Oh wow, okay. That's- that'd be super helpful, actually." Joel perked up at his words. "So that's a yes?" fWhip nodded. "Yeah, yeah. That's a yes. I- void I can finally actually sleep again-" fWhip groaned and sank back into to bench. Joel chuckled. "Yeah, you can rest as much as you need. I'll be here to keep everyone alive in the meantime."

fWhip smiled. "Before I give you the permissions officially, I have one more question. You don't have to answer if you don't want to." Joel nodded next to him and leaned back on the bench as well. "Alright, shoot." "What did you do? What happened that pissed off the gods so much you needed to... flee?" Joel suddenly laughed loudly. "Well, there was this admin, you see, awfully young that fella. Was fresh out of the academy and wanted to jump into server business right away." Joel sighed, as if he was remembering a fond memory. "I can see glimpses of the future, you know, being a god and all. I saw what an outstanding admin he would become and I had no doubt in his abilities as an admin. The guy wanted to build this massive project, taking care of hybrids of any kind on his server. The admins council didn't approve. I couldn't believe they'd put that little trust in someone who I already knew was more than capable of his job." fWhip suddenly shot up off the bench. "Wait- wait, pause!" Joel giggled.

"Us gods, we're not supposed to mingle with mortal all that much, you know? But I couldn't help myself. I was furious at the council, so I went down there and gave them my piece of mind. I didn't ask them to allow the admins request, but I told them how stupid they are and how wrong their decision was. They changed their mind afterwards."

fWhip stared at Joel in disbelief. "THAT WAS YOU?!" he yelled. "ALL- all this time?! It was you- oh deep void! I can't believe-" fWhip suddenly moved forward and pulled Joel in a right hug. "Thank you so much, Joel. You have- bright stars above- you have no idea how much that meant to me." Joel smiled and returned the hug. "I'm glad you got their permission in the end. You deserved it."

0 notes

litteral-sunshine-ao3 · 2 years ago

Text

Three times' the charm - zit+ranchers

original fic by me on ao3

Soulmates.

That's what Grian had told Jimmy would be added in this season of the life games. A person who you would be bound to, your very soul linking with theirs, sharing pain and health quite literally.

When they all met up at spawn to begin the series, Jimmy had seen Tango, of course. Obviously he hadn't missed the flutter in his chest or the way he couldn't quite tear his eyes away from the man. Grian had explained to them that, for as long as you didn't know who your soulmate is, you would physically feel drawn towards them. But Jimmy hadn't connected the dots back then, because everyone was at spawn at the time, so it would be only natural for him to feel the effects of the bond.

Besides, according to Grian, the code he used for the soulmate bond chose another player based on a variety of conditions and not at random. One of the conditions was an already existing attraction towards another player, as well as your own sexuality among other things. Jimmy hadn't actually met Tango before, so there was no way he had any "pre-existing" attraction towards him.

Also Jimmy wasn't gay. He wasn't attracted to men in any way.

That's why, when Jimmy abruptly died and found himself face to face with Tango at spawn some time later, he didn't say a thing. He just stared at Tango as the man apologized profusely and explained that there had been a creeper, but Jimmy could hardly pay attention. He just stared at Tango because he wasn't into men and he wasn't attracted to Tango at all.

Well... Okay, maybe he found Tango hot, but in his defense, he was just a conventionally attractive guy. Objectively speaking.

Nevertheless, Jimmy sighed, pulled Tango into a quick hug to show that he wasn't mad, and then the two set off to build themselves a home.

Once the first day was over, they had the beginning of their little ranch done and Jimmy lay awake in his bed, staring at the wooden ceiling. Tango had left in the early evening to talk with Impulse and hadn't returned yet. Jimmy wasn't particularly worried tho, the season had just started and it was way too early to go and kill people yet.

No, that wasn't the reason Impulse had asked Tango to visit him. Jimmy knew that, and he also knew why Tango went so eagerly.

They were dating. It wasn't really public, but it also wasn't particularly a secret. Jimmy had been told by Tango himself, in a side comment, earlier that day.

Tango had went off to see his boyfriend and Jimmy was left alone laying in his bed in their ranch and for a quick second, he felt something close to jealousy creeping up inside of him.

He shook the feeling rather quickly. There was no reason for him to be Jealous, after all.

Tango was happy with Impulse and their boyfriend, Zedaph. The three of them were happy together, Jimmy knew that and he felt a warm feeling spreading through his body whenever he saw Tango and Impulse together or when they talked about Zedaph and Jimmy could see them relax and smile fondly at just the mention of their boyfriend. They were... cute together, the three of them.

And Jimmy was happy for them, really, he was. So there was absolutely no reason to feel jealous when Tango went to see his boyfriend. It was only natural that they wanted to see each other and Jimmy really couldn't blame Tango for looking forward to it so much.

Yeah, he wasn't jealous at all. Maybe Jimmy felt... Lonely? The ranch was quite big after all and it felt weird to be alone in it.

That must be it. Jimmy felt lonely.

Clinging on to that thought, Jimmy fell into a restless sleep. When he woke up the next morning, the sun had just begun to set outside. The soft morning light fell through the windows of the ranch and Jimmy groaned. He didn't want to be awake yet. Tango and him had nothing to do and his bed was comfortable, soft and he was cuddled up against something amazingly warm and cozy.

He was... cuddled up against-

Jimmy was suddenly wide awake, sitting up abruptly and looking around. There was another person next to him in the bed, messy blonde hair splayed out against his pillows, the morning light making the strands shine almost golden.

Tango. Tango was in Jimmy's bed.

Actually, Jimmy realized after a quick look around the room, Tango had moved his own bed and pushed it against Jimmy's so they would comfortably fit in it.

The realisation made Jimmy blush.

Tango moved on the bed, turning around in Jimmy's direction. Slowly, he blinked his eyes open. The bright red shone like a gem in the sunlight. Jimmy gulped as he took the other man in. Tango was- Tango was beautiful. Pretty, even. Jimmy had never in his life wanted to kiss someone as badly as he did now.

And that scared him, just a little.

Tango reached out to Jimmy with one hand and grumbled, his voice deep and gravelly from sleep. He sighed when his hand found Jimmy's, tugging his hand to get him to lay down again. "You're warm." Tango mumbled out, sleepy eyes staring into Jimmy's. "C'mon, let's sleep a bit longer. It's too early to do anything." Jimmy sighed, but let Tango tug him down and laid back down next to him. Tango hummed happily and immediately pulled Jimmy closer, resting his head against Jimmy's chest and wrapped an arm around Jimmy's waist to hold him close.

Hesitantly, Jimmy moved one hand to gently lay on Tangos head. After another content hum from Tango, Jimmy kept his hand there to play with Tangos hair and brush through it softly.

It felt... weirdly domestic. Jimmy smiled when Tango started to snore lightly, evidently having fallen back to sleep. This was nice, Jimmy found. This was good, he could get used to this. Just for a little while, until the series was over. Even if it felt a little romantic, that didn't mean he was actually in love with Tango and it's not like Jimmy would do anything stupid like kissing a man who already has two boyfriends.

If you'd ask Jimmy's friends if he was stupid, most of them would chuckle and fondly agree. He was known for making dumb decisions and being the first to respawn in any world ever.

But Jimmy didn't think he would ever be making decisions this high on the stupidity scale.

Tango was currently pinned against the wall of the ranch, held firmly in place by a hand on his chest. Jimmy's hand on his chest. He used his other hand to stabilise himself against the building as he leaned in and pressed his lips roughly against Tangos. Tango sighed into the kiss and arched up so he could deepen the kiss better. One of Tangos hands found its way into Jimmy's hair, pulling him impossibly closer.

Jimmy didn't know how they ended up here. He remembered that Tango had explained a few basic rules in his relationship with his boyfriends, specifically in regards to "having fun" with people outside of their throuple. Tango had assured Jimmy with a smile that if he wanted to take the lore of this series into a romantic direction, they absolutely could do that, that Jimmy was allowed to hold his hand and touch and kiss. Jimmy also remembered briefly thinking how lucky of a guy he was to be allowed this, only to blush and remind himself that he was still very much straight.

Now, he was breathing heavily as he grabbed Tangos hand and pulled him inside their home, kissing him again as soon as the door was closed.

They never did anything past heavy make out sessions, but they did go there. Not just once or twice.

Tango was an amazing kisser, his naturally higher body heat made Jimmy sink into it that little bit more, made him feel a little helpless, like he was literally melting against him. Kissing Tango was addictive, at least to him. Whenever they started, Jimmy didn't want to stop.

The whole thing still scared Jimmy, even after Double Life had ended and he was back in the empires smp, sitting alone in his town. He thought maybe the soulbond had drastically enhanced the feelings he had for Tango, but he had to realize very soon that that wasn't the case. He missed Tango much much more than he had ever missed anyone. He longed to be in his arms again, to wake up with him, to kiss him any chance he got.

The weirdest thing about it all was that Jimmy didn't know why he had such a hard time accepting his own feelings. He was almost sure he was in love with Tango. But something in the back of his mind screamed at him that he must be wrong about it.

If he was completely honest, it probably had something to do with the people that raised him. They'd always had a very extreme view on the lgbtq community and Jimmy was beyond glad that he hadn't adopted their worldview. But apparently, it had still affected him enough that he struggled with the thought that he himself could be gay.

Even tho, if he really sat down to think about it, it made sense. He'd never been interested in women, not romantically anyway. Jimmy sighed and stared upwards into the clear skies over Tumble Town. He wanted to talk to someone about this. And there was only one person he could think of that he was comfortable with talking about it.

Jimmy secured his elytra, double checked he had enough rockets to make his trip and set off towards the colorful meadow that housed Chromia.

Chromias King, Scott, was a friend to Tumble Town and its Sheriff, even if they teased each other a lot. Jimmy had known Scott for a long time already, they'd been friends for years and Jimmy trusted him. He was also the only really openly gay man that Jimmy knew.

Jimmy landed in Chromia just past noon and immediately set out to find Scott. He ended up finding him resting by the flower fields near Chromias windmill. Scott looked up at the sound of boots heavy against the soft grass.

He smiled at Jimmy and greeted him with a quick hug. "Sheriff! It's been a while since you've been all the way out here, what can I do for you today?" Jimmy chuckled and sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. "I uh- I need your help, I think?" Scott raised an eyebrow. "You think?" Jimmy nodded. He looked at Scott and took a deep breath. He wasn't sure if he was ready for this talk, but he needed to get his thoughts out of his head.

"Scott I think I'm gay."

Scott looked at him for a long second before bursting out laughing. "Jimmy we were literally married last season, you only realised that now?" He asked, amusement heavy in his voice. Jimmy sighed and put a hand on Scott's shoulder. "I mean it, Scott. I'm not talking about the Codfather or the Sheriff. I'm- I'm gay. Just me." Scotts smile faltered. "Oh you're being serious." Jimmy nodded. Scott gently took Jimmy's hand. "Alright, you look like you need to talk. How about we go to Chromias tavern, sit down and have a chat?" Jimmy nodded again. "I'd love that, thank you Scott."

The tavern was nice and just as bright and colorful as the rest of Chromia. Scott poured them both a glass of juice and smiled at Jimmy when he had settled into his seat. "So, you're gay." The statement made Jimmy take in a breath. "I am. I think I am. I-" he closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. "You know how Tango was my soulmate in Double Life?" Scott hummed an affirmative. "I did something stupid. Like, really really dumb." Scott snorted. "What else is knew?" Jimmy chuckled and crossed his arms over his chest, looking at Scott so he could see his reaction to his next reply. "Tango and I made out. A lot."

Scott choked on his juice.

Once he had his breathing under control again, he stared at Jimmy. "He- oh my stars Jimmy, that man has a boyfriend-" Jimmy smiled. "Two actually. They're beautiful." Scotts gaze turned to genuine disbelief. "Beautiful? You- wait. You said you made out a lot. Define a lot, please?" Jimmy sighed and uncrossed his arms. "Well, I can't give you a definite number of course, but you know... We were making out a lot when we were alone in the ranch. Which we were often, so..." Jimmy trailed off, nervously staring down at his hands. "Oh wow okay. So it was like- genuinely something that happened a lot." Jimmy nodded. "And I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it a lot Scott. Tango is... He's a great kisser. And attractive." Scott whistled slowly.

He leveled Jimmy with a calculating gaze. "You still think about him, don't you?" Jimmy gulped, but nodded. "I miss him a lot. I know we weren't like... actually dating, but Tango talked to his boyfriends and they were okay with us... playing into the romantic aspect of the lore." Jimmy started playing with his fingers. "Which, by the way, we didn't- Tango didn't cheat on his partners or anything, in case you were thinking that. They both knew what we were doing and they were fine with it." Scott nodded. "Well that's good. But you still miss him? How do you feel about his boyfriends?" Jimmy blinked. He hadn't expected that question. "His... His boyfriends?"

Scott nodded seriously. "Yeah. You said they're beautiful. Are you in love with them too?" Jimmy's head was spinning. Was he? He wasn't even entirely sure if he was in love with Tango or if he had just kick-started his gay awakening. "I'm not sure. I... I don't even know if I really love Tango, you know? I miss kissing him, but I don't know if that's because of him or because he's the only man I've ever kissed. Does that even make sense?" Scott smiled softly at him. "It does make sense. I'm very proud of you for telling me, by the way. I know that takes a lot of trust and, well, I get the feeling that you've got quite a lot to talk about." He reached over the table to take Jimmy's hand in his own. "We've got all the time in the world right now. I'm here to listen, if you want to talk."

And talk Jimmy did. They sat together for hours, deep into the night, long enough that Jimmy ended up staying in one of the guestrooms in the tavern.

By the time Jimmy was back in Tumble Town his mind had cleared a little bit. He was sure now that he was gay and that he had romantic feelings for Tango. He had no idea what to do with that information tho. It's not like he'd meet Tango again soon, not to mention that, well, he was in a relationship already and Jimmy wasn't in love with his boyfriends- and even if he was, there's no guarantee that they would reciprocate.

The whole situation seemed rather hopeless, so Jimmy tried not to think about it. To his surprise, that strategy worked exceptionally well for a few months.

But then, something happened that Jimmy wasn't quite prepared for.

He met Zedaph.

Pixlriffs was hosting a small redstone workshop, which wasn't out of the ordinary. He did it quite frequently, sharing new contraptions and uses for old ones he found with the redstone world. Jimmy himself wasn't all that interested in redstone at all, but the trip to the world where the workshop would be held was quite long and Pixl hadn't wanted to travel alone. No one else on the empires server had time to accompany him, so Jimmy had promised him he'd come along. It's not the first time they'd done this and even if Jimmy didn't understand redstone all that much, watching the machines be put together and come to life was impressive.

Zedaph was taking part in the workshop and unlike Jimmy, he was very much interested in whatever Pixlriffs was talking about. The longer Jimmy sat in Pixls lecture, the more Zedaph caught his attention. Something about the way that Zedaph was hunched over his notes, the way his soft hair framed his face so gracefully, the way his eyes held an unyielding focus and he scrunched his nose when he was trying particularly hard to pay attention was... cute.

Jimmy found Zedaph adorable. And that was something new to him.

Sure he'd finally accepted that he loved Tango, but hever thought of him as cute. Tango was attractive, yes, and in a way Zedaph was too, but it was... different somehow. Because Jimmy didn't want to press Zedaph roughly against a wall and passionately make out with him like he wanted with Tango, no, he felt an overwhelming urge to cradle Zedaphs face and kiss him slowly, softly, hold him gently and tell him over and over how pretty, how beautiful he was.

And right now, he would die to do just that and to get out of this lecture. Jimmy sighed softly and turned his gaze away from Zedaph to stare at his own very messy notes.

When lunch break rolled around, Pixl invited Jimmy to sit next to him while they ate. Just as Jimmy was about to take a bite into his sandwich, Pixl spoke up with an amused tone. "Did you know that your eyes actually become heart-shaped when you stare at some you love?" Jimmy stared at Pixl and slowly lowered his sandwich. "What are you talking about?" The other shrugged, still amused. "Maybe it's an avian thing? I don't know to be honest, but when you look at Zedaph like you did earlier, your pupils become heart-shaped, just a little." He suddenly pulled up a few image files and went though them quickly. "Oh I hope I have this still saved..." Pixl stopped at one file and pulled it up. "Aha! There we go. You can kind of see it in this picture, too. It's from Double Life."

The picture showed mainly Tango, standing in front of the ranch, a big straw hat sitting on his head. He was standing by their cow pen, in the brief moment when they had kept their cows outside, one hand stabilizing himself on the fence as he leaned against it casually. In the corner, a little in the background, stood Jimmy. Pixl zoomed in on his expression to show Jimmy what he was talking about and, sure enough-

His pupils were indeed shaped just a little bit heart-shaped. The bottom was slightly pointy and there was a small gap at the top of it. Jimmy sucked in a breath. "Oh wow that's- I didn't know I was THAT easy to read..." Pixl chuckled. "Yeah you're really obvious, actually." Jimmy blushed furiously now and hid his face in his hands. "Do you think Zedaph noticed earlier?" Pixl just shrugged. "Even if he did, I don't think he minds, you know? He was looking at you an awful lot too, in case you hadn't noticed."

And here's the thing: Jimmy hadn't noticed it before, but when the break was over and the workshop continued, he payed even closer attention to Zedaph and suddenly it became so painfully obvious.

Zedaph was looking at him, all the time. He would steal glances at him form time to time and once, he outright stared at Jimmy for a good minute. Not that he minded, of course. There are far worse things in the world than having the attention of a pretty sheep hybrid all on him and him alone.

When the workshop finally came to an end on the first day, Jimmy was quick to snap his notebook closed. He wanted to go over to Zedaph and talk to him, maybe ask him if he wanted to eat dinner with him, but before he could even get out of his chair, the man was already in front of his desk. Zedaph leaned over the desk slightly, hands firmly planted on it to stabilize himself as he leveled Jimmy with a calculating gaze. "You're Tangos rancher, aren't you?" He asked and he looked a little proud of himself, like he had solved a complicated puzzle. "You looked familiar but I didn't know why, couldn't figure it out. But you're- Tango talked about you a lot, you know?- Jimmy, was it?" Jimmy nodded slowly, still a little taken aback by Zedaph standing in front him so suddenly. "Yeah, I'm Jimmy. You're his boyfriend, Zedaph. He- Tango, he loves you a lot." Zedaph smiled brightly at him and straightened up again. "He does. I love him a lot, too."

Jimmy smiled back at him and stood up as well. "Uh I was wondering, Zedaph... I was gonna cook some dinner back at my room, but I think I have enough for two plates? I don't like eating alone all that much, so I was wondering if you'd maybe wanna... Come over for dinner?" Zedaphs smile seemed to grow even wider. "Oh I'd love to! Tango said you're very talented at cooking, there's no way I'm passing up an opportunity to see for myself if he's right."

Jimmy chuckled at his words, then the two of them made their way to Jimmy's room.

Cooking with Zedaph was fun, Jimmy found. The man was a scientist through and through and apparently felt the need to taste, test and analyse just about anything he touched.

Jimmy loved watching Zedaph taste all the different spices he had brought with him to determine which one would be the best fit for their tomato sauce.

In the end, they sat together at Jimmy's small table and ate the noodles they had cooked. Jimmy smiled at the pure delight on Zedaphs face when he got his first mouthful. He wouldn't stop praising the tomato sauce throughout the entire dinner, no matter how often Jimmy insisted that Zedaph helped him cook so he deserved credit as much as Jimmy himself.

After the dinner, they decided to watch a movie together. Zedaph had insisted on watching one of his childhood favorite disney movies, but Jimmy hadn't payed much attention. It was hard for him to, when Zedaph was cuddled up against him, hugging him form the side and resting his head against Jimmy's shoulder. Jimmy wrapped one arm around Zedaphs waist to keep him close, the other absentmindedly played with a loose string of the blanket they were sitting under. About halfway through the movie, Zedaph took Jimmy's hand in his own and gently interlaced their fingers. Not long after, he fell asleep right there on Jimmy's couch. Jimmy sighed contently and pressed a soft kiss to Zedaphs forehead before he fell asleep too.

The rest of the workshop went by in a flash, the only thing that Jimmy really remembered was Zedaph. Zedaph, who kept looking at him with softness and adoration, Zedaph who just loved to hug him, it seemed, Zedaph who's skin was littered in the most adorable freckles Jimmy had ever seen on anyone, ever.

Zedaph who had pressed a quick kiss to Jimmy's cheek when they had to bid goodbyes.

Yeah, Jimmy absolutely had not been prepared to meet Zedaph, at all.

When he got back to the empires server, Pixlriffs immediately went back to his museum for reasons that slipped Jimmy's mind immediately. He couldn't pay attention to him, even if he wanted to. Jimmy's mind was, simply put, a mess.

A mess of blonde hair, cute freckles, deep purple eyes and fleeting kisses on his cheek. He didn't go back to Tumble Town that day, but immediately made his way over to Chromia as quickly as he could.

Scott was sitting at the bar in his tavern, having a nice, calm chat with Owen, the bartender, when the doors to the building were suddenly pushed open with just a little too much force. He jumped a bit at the sudden loud noise, but turned around quickly to find the Sheriff close the doors behind himself, before he made his way over to Scott and plopped down on a barstool next to him with a heavy sigh. Scott chuckled slightly at his tired expression. "Rough workshop, huh?" He asked, a teasing tone to his voice. Jimmy sighed even more deeply and dropped his head onto his arms on the bar. "Scott, Scott he's so- oh deep void- he's so pretty." Scott laughed and gently patted his back. Jimmy turned his head to look at Scott and the king was only a little surprised at the helplessness and confusion he found in Jimmy's eyes. "I'm afraid you'll have to give me a little bit of context here, Sheriff."

Jimmy groaned and closed his eyes. "Zedaph." He simply said, before he sat almost upright again. "I met Zedaph, he's one of Tangos boyfriends and Scott- Scott." He turned fully in his chair, facing Scott and holding him at both shoulders. "He's so fucking pretty, you have no idea."

Scott shook his head in amusement and signaled Owen to make them both a drink. "This feels like Tango all over again, doesn't it? I wanna hear all about Zedaph, c'mon, tell me everything." And Jimmy did. Between the relief of finally talking freely about his feelings and Owens cocktails making his brain a little fuzzy and his tongue a little loose, he told Scott every little thing about Zedaph, about how cute he was and how badly Jimmy wanted to kiss him.

"Loving him is different than loving Tango. I want- I want to be soft with him, you know?" Jimmy said after the forth drink. "I wanna kiss every freckle on his face, wanna hold his hands and cuddle him, I wanna-" Jimmy took a stuttering breath in. "oh fuck I wanna date him." He groaned for the millionth time that evening and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "I wanna be his boyfriend so badly, it's ridiculous."

Scott could only chuckle at his friend, patting his shoulder in an attempt to reassure and comfort him. He'd never seen Jimmy so worked up about anything, ever. Not even his little fights with Joel left him this frustrated.

They ended up talking for hours, just like last time, and Jimmy ended up staying the night again too.

Jimmy was still very confused about his feelings and the sheer overwhelming intensity of the love he felt for both Tango and Zedaph, when he returned to Tumble Town the next day. On his way home however, near Pix's bridge, he saw something... Odd.

Part of the mountain was ripped open to reveal a portal. It looked like a nether portal at first, but something about it seemed off, somehow. Maybe it was just his imagination, but Jimmy swore this portal had a more blueish tint to it compared to regular nether portals.

He shook the thought away before taking flight to go back home.

It was probably just a trick of light.

A couple of days later, his mind still wrapped around Zedaph and Tango, Jimmy found himself standing before the mysterious portal again. Someone on the server had tried sending messages over, but so far there hadn't been a reply. Jimmy sighed and was about to return to his empire, when the portal suddenly wooshed loudly. He turned around quickly to find a piece of paper laying on the ground. He picked it up nervously and unfolded it to read the note.

The handwriting was a little messy, but the message was clear nonetheless.

"New portal, who dis?"

Jimmy chuckled at the note and looked at the portal again with growing curiosity. If the portal was stable enough to teleport items, it might even be stable enough to teleport players. After a moment of consideration, Jimmy took if his hat and gently threw it into the portal. After a couple of seconds, a chicken fluttered through in response.

Jimmy stared at the animal in awe as it glucked, tilted its head in confusion and then set out to find some seeds to chew on.

So this portal could transport animals safely. Even if it was just a chicken. And there was definitely another player on the other side and, as chickens don't naturally spawn in the nether, it must be connected to some other place.

Jimmy considered his options for another second, but ultimately, his curiosity got the better of him. He opened the world chat of the server and typed a quick message before he squared his shoulders and stepped into to the purple swirls.

[Solidaritygaming]: We've got a chicken through the rift. There is definite sign of player activity on the other side.

[Solidaritygaming]: I'm going through.

[fWhip]: Jimmy don't go through that rift, we don't know what it is, it could be dangerous!

[Smajor experienced kinetic energy.]

[Smajor]: are you insane?! Jimmy I swear to the void if you die doing this I will never forgive you!

[Smallishbeans]: Jimmy why aren't you responding?

[Solidaritygaming left the server.]

[fWhip]: ...

[fWhip]: well, shit.

When the purple faded from his vision, Jimmy found himself in a cave. Copper pipes ran through the walls and Jimmy could clearly make out a couple of industrial-looking machines as well. There was a huge whole in the top at the end of it where someone could easily fly out.

Whatever world he ended up in apparently supported his hybrid code, Jimmy realized in a daze when he felt the weight of his bright yellow wings settle on his back. He ruffled his feathers, shaking them out after years of living on servers that didn't acknowledge their existence. He sighed.

Before he could take in more of his surrounding or orientate himself, he heared a strangely familiar voice behind him. "oh what in the-" he heard footsteps, then a loud gasp. "JIMMY?!"

He turned towards the sound of the voice, his breath catching in his throat when his eyes fell on small-ish brown wings, similar to those of a brawny owl. He would recognise those pesky feathers anywhere. "Grian?" Jimmy asked carefully, slowly meeting the others eyes.

It was him. He was standing in front of Grian in a cave, on a server he didn't know. For a second Jimmy thought the next life series had started, but it was way too quickly after the last for that and since Grian didn't really have any other projects or servers to be a part of, that must mean that Jimmy was-

"Oh my god! You just came through the rift!!" Grian jumped up and down excitedly, rushing towards Jimmy and pulling him into a tight hug. "Welcome to Hermitcraft, Jimmy!" Jimmy chuckled nervously and returned the hug. "I should've known it was you, with the chicken and all." He mumbled to himself. Grian laughed and punched his shoulder lightly. "I don't know what you're taking about, Tim, I have no connections to chickens whatsoever!" Jimmy laughed and shook his head. "Right, right, if course. Anyone could be under that costume, after all." Grian nodded with a fake serious expression. "Exactly!" They looked at each other, before they both trust out giggling.

Once they caught their breath, Grian smiled at Jimmy. "Man I'm actually kinda glad to see you. But what a surprise that was! Also, the wings- I never thought you were ACTUALLY a canary!" Jimmy smiled back at Grian. "Well curses don't come about to just anyone, do they?" Grian shook his head. "You're right, of course they don't. So, uh- what do we do now?" Jimmy looked back at the rift, then at Grian. "Maybe you should let Xisuma know that there is an interdimensional hole on his server? He might be... you know... concerned about that." Grian hummed. "Yeah, now that you said it out loud it is quite concerning, isn't it?"

Grian had just sent a private message to Xisuma, when they heard the sound of breaking glass. Jimmy's eyes widened, gaze glued to the rift- or rather, what used to be the rift. "Uh Grian?" Grians eyes were shot open just as wide. "If I don't turn around I won't know." Jimmy gulped. "Grian the portal is gone." Grian turned around slowly. "Oh god the portal is gone."

True enough, glaring blackness stared back at them were purple had been glowing before. They stared at each other, Jimmy was about to say something when suddenly, his communicator pinged. He pulled it out and opened the message, it was from fWhip.

[fWhip]: please tell me you're alive.

[fWhip]: I just arrived at the rift and it's broken

[Solidaritygaming]: I'm fine. The portal is linked to Hermitcraft, Grian found me.

[Solidaritygaming]: He just contacted Xisuma, but the rift is broken on this side too.

[fWhip]: oh thank god you're okay!

[fWhip]: calling X is a very good idea too. Make sure to give him my comm ID so we can get in touch and figure this out

[Solidaritygaming]: of course, will do! Take care over there, stay safe

[fWhip]: ...you did not just tell me to "stay safe" after jumping through an interdimensional portal

Jimmy chuckled at his comm and stored it away. Grian looked at him expectantly. "It was fWhip. Asking if I'm alive, since I didn't really give much a warning before going through the portal." He smiled at Grian sheepishly. Grian chuckled. "Well, it was a little stupid if you, I won't lie." Jimmy gasped in pretend offense. "I'm sorry?! It was you who made the thing in the first place!" Grian held his hands up defensively, a grin on his face. "I did no such thing, Grumbot made the rift, not me!" Jimmy stared at him for a long moment. "That- that really doesn't make it better, Grian. What kind of robot have you build that can just- rip interdimensional holes into existence??" Grian just shrugged. "He works in mysterious ways, I can't really understand most of it myself- oh that's X coming in for landing!"

Jimmy heard the sound of elytra wings for just another second before heavy boots crashed into the cave floor. He turned around to wave at Xisuma, who was speedwalking towards them. Before either of them could get a greeting in, X forced himself in between them and glared at Jimmy. The Sheriff took a couple steps back, which seemed to calm Xisuma down a little, as he now turned towards Grian and spoke quickly. "You said there was an interdimensional portal, but you said nothing about a player coming through!" Grian raised his hands apologetically. "I mean he got a message in chat when he came through and everything, I thought you'd seen it." Grian then cleared his throat and stepped out from behind his admin. "Besides, he's not hostile." X scoffed at Grians confidence. "You don't know that, he's been here for less than 15 minutes." Grian rolled his eyes. "So what? I know him, he's a friend of mine. Believe me X, Jimmy won't hurt a fly." Jimmy nodded enthusiastically at that. "He's right, I wouldn't. If it uh... Calms you? I was Tangos soulmate during Double Life and I'm about 99% sure I fell in love with him, so I have no intentions to harm the hermits or your server."

Deafening silence fell over the three men for a couple of painstakingly long seconds. Grian broke the silence with a wheezing laugh. "You- oh my stars you love Tango?!" Jimmy blushed furiously. "Well, yeah, I guess I do. What's so funny about that?" Xisuma chuckled as well, which finally broke the tension in the room. "I think it's cute. I should let you know tho that he's already taken." Jimmy smiled. "Oh I know. Sadly I didn't really get to meet Impulse on Double Life, but I ran into Zedaph by chance a couple weeks ago." He sighed at the memories. "He's really pretty. I love him so much, actually, my heart hurts just thinking about it." Grian let out a slow whistle, drawing Jimmy's attention to him.

"Oh you're down BAD bad, aren't you?"

Jimmy laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I am, I really am. But uh- I think we have more important things to talk about?" Grian looked like he wanted to argue, but Xisuma nodded. "You're right, we do. This portal doesn't look like it works anymore, which means you don't really have a safe way back home." Jimmy nodded. "About that... I don't know how much help I can be, but fWhip, the admin of the world on the other side, asked me to give you his comm ID so you can figure something out together." X visibly relaxed. "Oh that's wonderful! This will be much easier if we can work from both sides." Jimmy smiled and handed X his communicator so he could copy fWhips contact.

"Speaking about safety, let me just quickly whitelist you so the sever doesn't randomly kick you out." Xisuma typed something on his server settings, then handed Jimmy his comm back. "You should be able to see the local chat now."

[Solidaritygaming joined.]

[BdoubleO]: o/

[BdoubleO]: wait you're not supposed to be here

[Docm77]: well. there's something new on this server every day

[Grian]: my bad guys there's some interdimensional portal leakage going on in my base

[Grian]: btw... it might be best for everyone to not come visit me for a while

[Grian]: I don't know how stable the server is with a uh... interdimensional hole

[Docm77]: ...

[BdoubleO]: ...

[Cubfan]: ... How is that not even the most concerning thing I've heard him say?

[TangoTek joined.]

[TangoTek]: hello hello!

[BdoubleO] heya Tango! Don't go to Grians base for a bit, apparently he created a weird "interdimensional" portal

[TangoTek]: .... How concerning is it that I'm not even surprised?

[Grian]: oh come on guys, it's not that bad!

[Grian]: ohhhh Tango you should look at the sever list

[TangoTek]: that's absolutely not ominous at all

[TangoTek]: what- okay Grian what did you do, what kind of glitch is this?

[Grian]: no glitches involved, promise! There's one very real Solidaritygaming standing right in front of me right now!

[TangoTek]: you better not be joking

[TangoTek]: oh my god Jimmy is here

[TangoTek]: OH MY GOD JIMMY IS HERE AND HE'S ENTIRELY HUGGABLE!!

Jimmy smiled fondly at the chaos that erupted after that message. He looked over at Grian and Xisuma, who were talking to each other over a piece of code, sitting by the portal. They seemed to be in a call with fWhip.

[Solidaritygaming]: hello hermits :D

[Solidaritygaming]: @TangoTek I am entirely huggable indeed and very lonely, too :(

[BdoubleO]: hello Jimmy!

[TangoTek]: OH MY GOD YOU'RE REALLY HERE

[TangoTek]: I've got to show you everything!! You have to come over to the citadel right now!

[TangoTek]: I'm gonna give you the best cuddles of your life

[Solidaritygaming]: :D

[Solidaritygaming]: I'll ask Grian for directions, one moment

He pocketed his comm and walked over to the two men by the empty portal. "Uhm Xisuma?" The admin looked up at him. "Am I allowed to wander a bit? Tango invited me to his citadel and I'd really like to go." Grian gasped. "He invited you to his citadel?! He hasn't allowed me to come there! I'm pretty sure he hasn't even invited Impulse and Zedaph yet!" Xisuma shook his head fondly. "I don't think he has, no. Well, your code seems stable enough, so I don't see why I shouldn't let you go. You'll be stuck here for a while, so you should try to make yourself at home somewhere." Jimmy smiled brightly at him. "Oh thank you X! Thank you so much! Could you maybe tell me how to get to Tango's tho?"

Grian nodded and gave him a brief explanation of the nether hub. Jimmy thanked him and pulled out his comm once again.

[ZedaphPlays]: excuse you mr. tek how come this guy is allowed to see decked out before Impulse and I??

[ImpulseSV]: yeah, how come??

[Docm77]: an I oop-

[TangoTek]: simple, because he's my soulmate :)

[TangoTek]: and because I trust him that he won't look at the redstone and attempt to cheat at the game once it's finished

[BdoubleO]: hahahahahaha

[Docm77]: oof

[ImpulseSV]: :o

[ZedaphPlays]: :o

[Cubfan]: gottem lol

[Solidaritygaming]: omw now

[TangoTek]: awesome! You're coming through Grians portal, right? I'll meet you in the nether

Jimmy smiled fondly as he spread his wings and pushed himself off the ground. It had been years since he got to fly around without an elytra, he had missed the wind brushing through his feathers. He closed his eyes in bliss as he landed safely in Grians nether portal, allowing the purple swirls to pull him into the other realm.

Once he stepped out of the portal, Jimmy walked a couple of steps so he could be seen clearly to anyone flying by and decided to wait for Tango.

An idea suddenly popped into his head and he quickly fished out his communicator again.

{Solidaritygaming created a private group}

[Solidaritygaming added ImpulseSV; ZedaphPlays]

[Solidaritygaming named the group: "a spy at decked out?!"]

[Solidaritygaming]: alright boys tell me what to look out for

[Solidaritygaming]: and dumb it down for me please, I don't know anything about redstone ;-;

[Solidaritygaming]: I'm gonna make sure you guys win this thing

[ImpulseSV]: hahahahahaha

[ImpulseSV]: oh this is gonna be fun

[ZedaphPlays]: :o

[ZedaphPlays]: oh the betrayal! Tango has been keeping everything about the citadel a secret to us!

[ZedaphPlays] I can't wait to get some details!

[Solidaritygaming]: happy to help :D

[ImpulseSV]: be careful tho, Tango might not appreciate it if he finds out lol

[Solidaritygaming]: oh? What's the worst he would do?

[ZedpahPlays]: from experience and given how close you two are, he'd probably give you a proper tour of the dungeons down there

[ZedaphPlays]: and give you some punishment ;)

[Solidaritygaming]: ...

[ImpulseSV]: Zedaph! Not everyone is as open about these things as us hermits!

[ZedpahPlays]: oops sorry

[ZedpahPlays]: I guarantee you Tango wouldn't do anything without asking you first

[Solidaritygaming]: I thought I asked about the worst, not what sounds to be the best night of my entire life?

[ImpulseSV]: ... Zedaph we've gotta keep him.

The sound of elytra wings whooshing above his head made Jimmy pocket his comm quickly.

Only a second after, Tango landed in front of him with a bright smile. "JIMMY!!" He yelled, engulfing Jimmy in a tight hug. Jimmy smiled as well and hugged him back, snaking his arms around Tangos waist to hold him close. Tango lifted his head and almost surged forwards, smashing his lip onto Jimmy's in a rough kiss. Jimmy chuckled into his lips and pulled Tango closer by his hip, closing his eyes as Tango deepened the kiss.

They parted for air after a little while, both panting and out of breath. Jimmy's heart was racing when he properly took Tango in. He looked different now, with his thick black robe and black leather outfit, the heavy combat boots and most importantly-

"You're blue."

Tangos breath caught for a second, before he burst out laughing. "I am! What an observant man you are!" He grinned at Jimmy, sharp teeth glinting in the light of the portal close to them. Jimmy's eyes softened at the sight of that familiar grin. No matter how different Tango looked, he would always be Jimmy's rancher.

Jimmy couldn't resist the urge to steal another kiss from Tango, before he grabbed his hand and smiled at him. "I think you wanted to show me something?" Tango nodded excitedly and beamed up at Jimmy, his bright blue eyes twinkling with happiness. "Yeah! Off to the Deep Frost Citadel we go!"

The flight through the nether was relaxing, even if they didn't talk much. Just being next to Tango again made Jimmy feel safe and gave him a sense of home, a sense of belonging. He couldn't help but giggle when Tango pulled him into the portal to his base by the hands, grinning at him like a fool in love.

That was an accurate description, Jimmy supposed. They truly were fools in love, weren't they?

Impulse and Zedaph smiled softly as they watched Jimmy stumble out of the portal, falling into Tangos arms. Tango laughed as he wrapped his arms around Jimmy and kissed him softly, before he dragged him towards the impressive building of the Deep Frost Citadel.

Zedaph sighed. "He already looks like he belongs, doesn't he?" Impulse nodded next to him, reaching out to throw an arm around Zedaph and pull him close. "Yeah, Jimmy looks... At peace. Like he's coming home." He carefully watched Zedaph as the man laid his head to rest against Impulses shoulder. "Was it like this when I joined too?" He asked suddenly. Zedaph smiled fondly and nodded against Impulses shoulder. "I didn't know that love doesn't have to be monogamous back then and I was super confused. I thought I was supposed to feel jealousy, you know?" He sighed and looked up at his boyfriend. "But I didn't. All I felt was... warmth. Love. It was almost like I could feel how much Tango loved you, just by looking at him." Impulse hummed. "It really does feel that way for me now. Jimmy's quite beautiful. He looks so right there next to Tango, with Tango."

Zedaph nodded. "Yeah he does. And he's a bloody good cook, too and amazing at cuddles, let me tell you!" He chuckled. "It shocked me a little how quickly I fell for him." Impulse chuckled at that. "Maybe it's because he's so easy to love? I mean I haven't actually met him properly yet and even I'm in love with the guy." Zedaph smiled. "Maybe it is that, yeah. In any case, I'm glad he's here. He deserves to know just how much he's loved and this makes telling him a whole lot easier." Impulse hummed in agreement and placed a soft kiss to the top of Zedaphs hair.

"I think we should go back to my base for now, so we can coach Jimmy through his spying mission. It'll be a lot more comfortable than out here in the cold." Zedaph nodded. "Only if we watch Mulan and drink hot coco." Impulse smiled. "Of course."

The Deep Frost Citadel was huge. Jimmy had no doubt he would get lost in it immediately if Tango wasn't by his side. Tango had taken him to his storage first and searched through the chests until he found one of Zedpahs signature brown cardigans and slipped it over Jimmy's shoulders. "It's cold here, deep frost is a description as much as it is a name for this thing." He had explained. Now, they were walking hand in hand through the building. Zedpahs cardigan was big, heavy and it provided an excellent shield against the chilly air. Jimmy felt slightly bad that they had to cut slits in it for his wings, but Tango had assured him that Zedaph won't mind.

As they walked, Jimmy occasionally glanced at his comm to text Zedaph and Impulse, filling them in on whatever details they were curious about. When Tango explained a little bit of the redstone mechanics behind decked out, Jimmy was staring at the machinery in awe. Tango had chuckled and told Jimmy he was allowed to take a picture of he was so fascinated by it. Of course, Jimmy immediately took him up on the offer and send the picture into his spy group chat the second Tango was distracted enough not to notice.

Impulse and Zedaph had been nothing short of ecstatic at the picture, praising Jimmy high and low for being able to sneak such a nice shot.

The whole base tour had Jimmy grinning from ear to ear, partially because of the excitement of the spy mission, partially because he was overwhelmingly happy to be with Tango again after so long. They walked around for hours until they were at their starting point again. "So what now?" Jimmy asked, excited to spend more time with Tango. Tango smiled at him and put an arm around Jimmy's waist, gently guiding him back outside the citadel and towards the nether portal. "Now we go home and cuddle with Impulse and Zedaph to warm up from the ice cold dungeons we just spend several hours in." He looked a little sheepish as he added "It might surprise you, but I don't actually sleep in the citadel. It's mainly just for show and to house Decked Out, it's far too cold for me to sleep comfortably, so I've been sneaking into Impulses and Zedpahs bases to sleep." Jimmy chuckled. "I get why you would. I can't wait to actually meet Impulse, you and Zedaph have been telling me so much about him." Tango smiled and took his hand once they were through the portal. "He's an amazing person. I'm sure you'll love him, Jimmy." Jimmy smiled back at him. "With all that happened in Double Life, how much he trusted you and you trusted him, I'm sure you're right. I couldn't quite place my feelings back then, I thought I was jealous, but I think... I think what I really felt was love." Tango stopped in his tracks and stared at him. "Love?" Jimmy nodded.

"I fell for Impulse just as hard as I fell for you, back then."

The words rushed out of his mouth without him thinking about it. It was only Tango staring at him in disbelief, wonder and awe that made him realize how big of a statement that was. That Jimmy loved Tango was no secret anymore. That he had a thing for Zedaph, well, Jimmy had come to terms with it himself. But Impulse?

He hadn't even really thought about Impulse so far, but now that he did... He had felt an undeniable, deep trust towards Impulse, all the way back in Double Life. Even if that server was supposed to be about the exact opposite: pure survival instincts, betrayal, war, death. Jimmy had trusted Impulse back then, trusted him enough to let Tango waltz right into his base every other night without even a second thought about Tango possibly getting hurt. The idea hadn't even crossed his mind, if he was being honest. He had trusted Impulse with Tangos life, time and time again and, consequently, he had trusted him with his own life too.

And with the way that Tango was talking about Impulse, about their relationship and how good of a boyfriend he is, Jimmy fell for him a little bit more evey day, even if they hadn't actually talked to each other. Every time he'd seen Impulse and Tango together, he felt warm inside and a little sad, too. At first he thought he was feeling jealousy, but now it was obvious to him what he truly felt: he was in love with Impulse. He'd been sad because he wanted to share those soft, intimate moment with them both, not jealous at all.

He took Tangos hand in his own softly. "I love Impulse." Jimmy said, his voice cutting through the silence that had engulfed the nether hub. "I love Impulse, I love you and I love Zedaph. I love all of you deeply." He felt like an entire mountain was lifted off of his heart when he finally said it out loud. Tangos eyes were glistening with happy tears. "Remind me to show my elaborate thanks to Grian for bringin you here." He whispered, before he pulled Jimmy close and kissed him deeply. Jimmy sighed into the kiss, but broke it relatively quickly. "We should get to Impulses now, I'm sure they're waiting for us." Tango nodded quickly and wiped at his eyes before taking Jimmy's hand again. "We really should go, we've got quite a lot to discuss with you."

{Private messages Solidaritygaming - Smajor}

[Solidaritygaming]: Scott I think I girlbossed a bit too close to the sun

[Smajor]: damn. It's been like a month since you finally accepted that you're gay

[Smajor]: that's gotta be a new record

[Solidaritygaming]: so much happened in that month, it's actually insane to think about

[Solidaritygaming]: like, I had two major gay crisis, fell in love not once, not twice, but THREE times

[Solidaritygaming]: and now I have three boyfriends

[Smajor]: you have WHAT?!

[Solidaritygaming]: I'm actually dating team ZIT

[Solidaritygaming]: like, they love me and I get to kiss them and cuddle whenever

[Smajor]: damn. and you had to go and have three boyfriends?

[Smajor]: like jeez, save some for the rest of us Jimmy

#hermritcraft fanfic #double life fanfic #team zit #rancher duo #polyamorous shipping #polyhermits

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litteral-sunshine-ao3 · 2 years ago

Text

Wildfire - a rancherduo fanfic

original fic by me on ao3

Jimmy sighed deeply as he stared up into the night sky. He had never in his life felt this much regret for anything ever.

If he had known where this whole thing would lead, he would've never taken Grian up on his invitation to the latest life series. If he had known how much he would ache, if he had known how deeply it would hurt, he wouldn't have gone at all.

He closed his eyes, feeling the strong wind of the mesa rush past him and it was cold. It was so terribly cold in his mesa nowadays, Jimmy hadn't thought he'd ever miss the sweltering heat of the sun, but here he was.

His sherif hat sat next to Jimmy on the wooden roof of whatever building he climbed up on. He sat on the edge, feet kicking and swaying slightly with the wind. Although the cold was biting and bitter, relentless and harsh, Jimmy liked it. He embraced it, even. It gave enough of a distraction that he was sure he'd be able to get up tomorrow and keep doing what he was doing, keep building his town and keep on living.

But that was for tomorrows Jimmy. Tonights Jimmy stared up into the stars, before closing his eyes, waiting for familiar red to take over his vision, his thoughts, his heart, his very soul.

He would never get used to it. Jimmy had missed people before, often times. He had lost friends before, he had mourned before. But this... This was different. Maybe because his own memories were foggy and incomplete, maybe because he couldn't tell anyone about it, maybe because the world, the very plain of existence on which it happened was gone now, or maybe just because it was him.

He missed him. Jimmy missed whatever it was that he had been so graciously offered and it pained him that he would never be able to feel it again- the touch of someone too hot on his skin, the press of a too-warm body against his as they stood against the harsh winds, the fire, the glorious fire that, although destructive and merciless, had painted his partner in the softest shades of yellow and orange, had made him glow and his eyes spark and he had been so beautiful as he stood amidst the utter chaos of their destroyed home.

His partner. His mate, his soulmate. His lover, his anchor, his world, his reason to hang on, to keep trying to keep going forward. His boyfriend.

His rancher.

Jimmy missed Tango so much. Although, it was much more than just yearning for a relationship that he would never get back. His very soul ached and groaned, it missed and longed for the link, the bond that used to be there.

But that wasn't the worst part. Oh no, not by far.

The link, the bond between his soul and Tangos, it hadn't broken when the server was closed. Jimmy didn't know why. He didn't care why. All he knew was that he still got random ticks of damage, random deaths, because of things he himself didn't do, but undoubtedly were Tangos pain, shared through that damned link.

He was sure it was the same soul bond, it felt the same. That's why, the past three weeks since he had gotten back to the empires server, Jimmy had been extra careful to not take any damage.

He didn't want Tango to know the bond was still open. Jimmy was selfish about it, he knew he was, and he felt awful about it, but he couldn't bear to lose this. He had gotten so used to the connection, the comfort that came with it, he was afraid of it closing forever. If Tango knew, he'd go to Grian and ask him to fix it. And Grian would get it done fast, probably sending an apology to Jimmy about the inconvenience, but Jimmy didn't feel inconvenienced. Not by the bond still being there. Only by the fact that Tango wasn't.

That he wasn't there, wasn't with him, holding him, hugging him, kissing him gently, just like he had done for a month. Jimmy couldn't lose this.

He refused to lose this.

The whole situation was quite ironic, Jimmy thought. Especially considering the last proper conversation he had with Tango. Jimmy had told him about empires, had told him about his troubles with the neighbourhood god and how he treated him. And Tango, blessed Tango, had listened, had looked at him with love and understanding and he had smiled. Had eyed Jimmy from the side, a grain of wheat stuck in his teeth in the most cliché way possible, and he had watched as Jimmy's eyes filled with tears of frustration and anger.

He had reached out then, gently, to wipe the tears away, his gaze had been fond when he had told Jimmy "No man is worth your tears." Jimmy had stared at Tango, at the love that practically poured out of his eyes, out of every fiber of his being, he had stared at the way the sun cast light and shadow over his face and Jimmy swore to this day, he had never seen a man more beautiful than Tango.

Jimmy hadn't known what to say to that, so he had tried for a joke, his voice only breaking once as replied. "You're certainly not worth crying over."

Tango had smirked, had chuckled in relief when Jimmy had smiled back and they had sat in silence for a while.

Oh what a lie that had been.

And the worst part of it all was that Jimmy had already known back then.

Of course he couldn't have known that the bond would stay, but he had known that he would never truly forget Tango, that he would miss him, that the memories of that world would stay with him across servers and lifetimes.

He couldn't explain why, but he had known the second he first met Tango, after the creeper had led them to their first death, to find each other, all the way back then, Jimmy had already known that he would love Tango until he physically couldn't.

And now he sat in his mesa, his town, in the middle of the night, and the sting in his eyes and the tears that fell weren't because of the harsh winds or the sand that they kicked all the way up to the rooftop. Those tears were for Tango, because of him, for him, they were Tangos tears as much as they were Jimmy's.

As the memory of Tangos warm arms holding him in a close embrace drifted away, Jimmy could swear the mesa got even colder.

This, Jimmy decided, this was torturous. It had fascinated him back in Double Life how quickly and how deeply he would miss his soulmate whenever they weren't physically close. But now, they were worlds, servers apart and the part of Jimmy that was tied to Tango screamed at the distance, howled at the coldness, the loneliness.

Jimmy ached. He ached and ached and it wouldn't stop, his heart, mind and soul yearned to find rest, proper rest, to find the only person that would make Jimmy whole again, to find his way back home.

Jimmy yearned, above all else, to be home again.

But he wasn't. And unless Tango would agree to keep whatever they had in Double Life going outside of that server, he never would be truly home again.

It was a few weeks later when the rift appeared. Jimmy had been drawn to it more than his fellow players, for reasons beyond his understanding. All Jimmy knew was that he liked the rift. He trusted it, much to the surprise of everyone else, and he asked the others to just let it be for now.

A couple of days later, Jimmy had build a small cottage in the western theme of his town near the rift. If the other leaders noticed or found it odd that Jimmy spend so much time there, they didn't comment on it. Even Joel seemed to give him a break, which Jimmy was thankful for.

Ever since the rift had appeared, Jimmy's emotions had been even more of a mess. Something about the soulbond felt off, almost like it was flickering, sometimes strong and intense, almost as if Tango was right next to him again, some days it was much more distant, back to the aching loneliness and longing.

It messed with Jimmy much more than he was even close to comfortable admitting. He was much more agrivated than usual, short tempered, snappy, he was frustrated at everything and anything and lashed out easily for weeks. He was a mess and the entire server knew.

fWhip and Sausage had come to visit him by the rift frequently, telling him the rift might be cause for his poor mental health and suggesting he should maybe go back to Tumble Town. But Jimmy couldn't move away, couldn't stray far from the rift. Something deep inside of him, the part of his mind and soul that ran on instincts alone, that couldn't be reasoned with, begged him to stay close the swirling, purple mist of the rift.

Sausage insisted that it was unhealthy, that Jimmy was not doing okay and he needed help. Jimmy knew that he was right, of course, but when Sausage had tried to carry him, drag him away from the rift, he had screamed and cried and in the flash of a second, Jimmy had drawn his sword, had held it up to Sausages throat and all but growled at him to leave, to run.

Sausage had fled before Jimmy could harm him, had left Jimmy by the cottage, alone. Jimmy had returned to his house and curled in on himself the second the door was shut. Tears and sobs wracking his body, he had sat in the hallway for hours, well into the night, shaking and picking at his own skin. He was mad at himself for loosing control, for threating his friend, Jimmy hadn't wanted to do that.

Something about the very idea of being away from the rift made his instincts go crazy, made his mind clouded with searing anger.

fWhip was the one who had found him, after he had broken down Jimmy's front door. fWhip had been the one who sighed and crouched down, who had pulled him close and hugged him, rubbing soothing circles over his back and whispering hushed, comforting words.

And while that was nice and it helped, it wasn't what Jimmy wanted, what he needed.

Because fWhip, no matter how gentle and kind, wasn't Tango. He wasn't warm like a netherborn, his touch wasn't rough, fingers calloused from smithing and engineering, his voice wasn't scratchy, he wasn't Tango, wasn't Jimmy's partner, Jimmy's soulmate.

Jimmy needed Tango.

He didn't tell fWhip about the soulbond. Jimmy knew he probably should've, but he was afraid he'd try to break it, or ask Grian to. It was hard to keep it secret from the admin tho- fWhip was persistent and he wanted to help. Eventually, he made peace with the fact that Jimmy wouldn't tell him and settled on doing what he could to keep Jimmy alive.

So fWhip visited him often by the rift, bringing Jimmy water and food and making sure he saw Jimmy eat before he left again.

Sausage came by a few times more as well, after Jimmy apologized profusely about lashing out. He promised Sausage that he would explain to him why it happened once his mind was in the right state again.

Scott came by once as well, per request of fWhip to see if the rift had left any weird magical properties or other lingering effect on Jimmy. However, Scott couldn't find any traces of magic on Jimmy at all, so he offered Jimmy a warm smile before he left.

And then, one day, Jimmy woke up in his cottage with a start. A shiver ran down his spine, but it was a pleasant one. The coldness that had been gnawing, eating away at him for what felt like months had ebbed away- instead, an all-consuming fire burned inside him, set his mind and soul ablaze. Jimmy felt restless all of a sudden, he felt something like an invisible force pull him outside, outside the house and down the hill towards the rift.

His feet dragged along the grass, his boots heavy against the earth and his steps unsteady as he climbed down the hillside. And then, suddenly, everything was loud.

There were people by the rift. Many people. Many many more than there were players on the empires server. They were chatting with each other, talking loudly, some sounding frustrated, others amused, but Jimmy couldn't make out what they said. His vision was a little blurry, he felt dizzy as an overwhelming feeling of warmth and home took a hold of his heart.

Fire flashed before his eyes, not the wild, uncontrollable flames that destroyed the ranch, but gentle fire, dancing calmly no matter how strong the wind blew around it. Yellow and red warped and mixed together, familiar words ringing in his ears and then warmth. Scorching hot heat spread through his body from his shoulder all the way to his toes. Jimmy blinked against the blinding sun, trying to get the searing red dots to leave his vision so he could see properly.

Except the two red dots didn't go away and it wasn't the sun that was shining bright and yellow, consuming him inside and out.

Jimmy's breath hitched as the weight of the hand on his shoulder properly settled in. "Jimmy? You're starting to scare me, man, are you okay?" Tangos voice echoes in his head for a couple of ticks before they registered in Jimmy's brain.

Tangos voice. Tangos hand on his shoulder. The bond between them flared to life, making the heat rushing through Jimmy turn into a wildfire, burning him from the inside.

Tangos face twisted in worry. "Jimmy? Jimmy, what's going on?"

But Jimmy couldn't speak, the bond was fully re-opened and the sensations, the pull and drag on Jimmy's very soul were too intense for him to do anything but cry, hot, wet tears spilling out of his eyes and flowing down his cheeks. Jimmy heard Tango call his name again in a panic, before he swayed on the spot he was standing in, loosing balance and collapsing forward into the blazing storm that rearranged his soul and made him whole again.

When Jimmy came to consciousness again, he was laying on the ground at the foot of the rift, way too many faces above him, looking at him with a mix of worry and sadness. He could recognize fWhip sitting on the ground next to him, one hand on Jimmy's arm, a small trickle of light connecting Jimmy to a window of code- his own player code, Jimmy realized. He could feel the code changing inside of him as fWhip worked.

If the situation had been different, Jimmy would've smiled fondly at the relief that washed over fWhips face whe he realized that Jimmy was awake again.

Most of the other people surrounding them, Jimmy couldn't recognize. Grian was easy to spot, his red sweater bright and sticking out everywhere he went, but his face was tinted with something close to guilt and regret as he leaned against Scar. There were two others here, two scientists in white coats, both standing a bit to the side and sharing a heated discussion, occasionally looking over at Jimmy, but he didn't know their names.

fWhip cleared his throat. "Jimmy, how are you feeling?" Jimmy turned his head and focused on the admin. "Uh... My head hurts." He said quietly, voice rough and raspy. fWhip nodded and pulled out a potion out of his inventory. "Drink this." He said, pressing it to Jimmy's lips. Jimmy took a hesitant sip, but quicky downed the rest once he recognised the familiar taste of glistering melon and sugar. "You should've told me about he link, Jimmy, that was dangerous." fWhip told him as he stored the now empty bottle away. Jimmy sighed. "I know. I was stupid. I- I'm sorry." fWhip nodded and pulled a specific part of Jimmy's code up for closer inspection. As he started rewriting a line of code, Jimmy could feel the feverish heat inside him subsiding.

His hand shot up suddenly to grip fWhips wrist tightly. "Jimmy! I need to fix your code, you can't-"

Tears welled up in his eyes again, which thankfully made fWhip stop. "Please don't. I- unless Tango wants to, I don't- please, fWhip, please don't break it." fWhip stared at him for a long moment. Jimmy heard hesitant footsteps come closer, then Grian came into his field of vision. He crouched down next to fWhip, laying a gentle hand and Jimmy's knee. "We're not breaking the bond, Jimmy." He said, voice clear and steady and not leaving any room for doubts or arguments. "You- you're not?" Grian and fWhip both shook their heads.

"The code I used in Double Life only works on that server. You must've already been linked with Tango, the code I used just strengthened that bond and amplified it. When you left the server, your code got all messed up because these two seperate soulbound codes corrupted each other." His voice was gentle as he explained what had likely happened. "We would never take this bond away fro you." fWhip continued. "The one that existed before Double Life. It's a core part of who you are, and if it gets damaged or broken, it can rip your entire soul in pieces. It can lead to permadeath." Jimmy stared at him. "Oh."

He watched as fWhip got to work again, carefully rewriting the broken bits of code and he could feel the blinding heat inside him subside to a pleasant warmth, not nearly as overwhelming. Once fWhip was finished, Jimmy took a deep breath in.

"I want to see Tango." He said, looking around, only to find that he was gone. "I- he's not mad at me, is he?" Grian shook his head and fWhip chuckled. "He's not mad at you at all." Grian promised. "He needed a moment to breath and calm down and then he set off to Tumble Town. He said he wanted to prepare a little surprise for you to come home to."

Jimmy's heart was beating rapidly in his chest when he stumbled out of his nether portal and into the familiar dry heat of the mesa. The bond between him and Tango pulled him through the streets of Tumble Town, deeper into the town until he saw a familiar figure leaning over a couple of chests in front of a half-finished building.

Jimmy took a moment to take Tango in. He had changed into an outfit more fitting to the mesa and Jimmy's empire. He wore dark brown pants and heavy cowboy boots, a big brimmed hat to shield him against the scorching hot sun and nothing but a leather vest to cover his chest.

Tango turned around at the sound of Jimmy's sharp inhale. He looked good, Jimmy thought, Tango looked amazing, it looked so right to have him here, part of Tumble Town.

He was home, Jimmy realized then. Tango was home and so was he.

He walked towards his partner and Tango met him halfway, wrapping his arms around Jimmy's waist and pulling him close, one hand settling on the back of Jimmy's head to hold him gently and guide him to rest his head on Tangos shoulder. Jimmy smiled softly and let himself relax in Tangos arms, finally letting his mind rest after months of longing and loneliness and pain. "I missed you." He whispered against Tangos skin. Tango shuddered beneath him but sighed happily. "I know. Missed you too."

They parted and smiled at each other, but then Jimmy recognised the building Tango had been working on. Tears welled up immediately as he pushed past Tango, only two steps, to look at the familiar beginning of what would undoubtedly become their ranch.

"Tango-" he sniffled into the dry air. Tango was there immediately, worried expression shifting into adoration and love when he recognised the awe in Jimmy's gaze. "It's not finished, I thought you'd take a little longer." He said, an almost apologetic smile on his lips. Jimmy turned to look at him again, one hand rising up to cup Tangos jaw and stroke the side of his face fondly. "It's going to be perfect." He said, staring right into deep red eyes. Tangos smile brightened.

Jimmy took him in for another second, before he gave in to the pull of the bond and leaned in, pressing his lips on Tangos in a soft, delicate kiss.

"I love you." Jimmy breathed against Tangos lips once they parted. "I love you so much, Tango. I love you." Tango rested his forehead against Jimmy's and sighed, content, happy. "I love you too Jimmy. On every server, ever world, in every lifetime. I'll never stop loving you, I promise."

As their lips connected again, Jimmy smiled. He was sure that Tango was right. They would love each other, no matter the world, server or whatever. He sank into the feeling of warm comfort as Tango kept kissing him.

Jimmy was home. Finally.

#rancher duo #fanfic #double life fanfic #double life #double life team rancher

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