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Complain, Complain, Complain... Then Find Your Goal. It’s a Gift! Write it down!

If you find yourself repeating the same complaint over and over again, and people are asking you to stop, maybe you should. Stop. Write down that complaint and take a look at it. What are you unhappy about? Your job? The weather? Your spouse? Write that down.

Now, take a look at what you’ve written because there’s a gift in that complaint. Yes, you read that right, there’s a gift in every complaint, a special gift, just for you. It’s called “a goal.” The goal is what you do want. Sometimes we need to ask ourselves what we don’t want before we arrive at what we do want.

You see, we’re told not to complain because other people don’t want to hear about it. Complaining can make us and everyone around us feel pretty bad. Who wants to listen to how bad things are all day long? Certainly not me.

However, complaints can be very helpful if you look for the gift within them. It’s the gift of knowing what you don’t like about the world, about your world. Unhappy with your job? What kind of job would you like? Not sure? Not sure what you want out of life? Well… Take a look at your complaints. In fact, complain away! Yes, I’m suggesting you complain! Not to other people, of course, but to yourself.

Write that down. I mean, write down that complaint. If you have lots of complaints, then great! Write them all down in as much detail as possible. In fact, write them down everyday if you need to. Keep writing until you find the gift. The gift is… THE GOAL.

Ta-da! You thought I was being facetious or silly when I suggested you  complain, complain, complain, didn’t you!

Nope, I’m telling you what you need to hear if you are genuinely suffering in a life that you don’t want, a life you didn’t choose. Maybe you are working at a job you hate, living with others with whom you are not compatible, in a city where you’re very unhappy, or, heaven forbid, your health is not what you’d like it to be.

Complain away! (But not to other people. Complain to yourself.) Why? Because when we complain, we’re telling ourselves what we don’t want, and that can be very useful because it leads us toward finding what we do want. It also informs us that we’re unhappy with something, so we’d really like change, but we feel powerless to create that change. That’s why we complain. We complain because we don’t think things will change, and we’re hoping someone else out there will help us by, at least, giving us some sympathy.

Honestly, I wish someone would magically appear and help you if you are unhappy so that you could be happy. Not just because I’m a nice person (although I am… but then I’m also pretty biased in this self-judgment. Ha ha!) But I personally believe that when people are happy they are at their best and are less likely to cause problems in the world. Frankly, the world is a better place when most people are happy. (This should be common sense, but, judging by the many injustices of this world, it is, apparently, not common sense, so it must be stated here.) A happy person is not likely going to burn down another person’s house, or to rape, rob or kill anyone. Happy people tend to be peaceable people. For all you people out there who value money over people: Happy people save our society money! Yes, a happy person is more likely to take care of her health and not to cost our insurance companies or hospitals as much money. Happy people are more likely to work honestly and do the best job they can. They make better employees, better spouses, better neighbors, better friends. Happy people are easier to be with because… ehem… they tend not to complain. 

Huh? But you said...

Okay, just hear me out. Read on, my virtual friend.

So… how can you be one of those happy people? I don’t know, sorry. But I do know that one way to achieve the goal of being happy is to complain to yourself with a good, old-fashioned pen and paper. Taking the time to write it down on paper forces us to slow down our thoughts and to ponder them in more detail. We can really get down into the nitty gritty, narrowing down the cause of our complaint. This could take an hour or so, but it could also take days, weeks, even a year or longer, of writing, writing and writing out our complaints.

Remember the diary? Does anyone keep a diary anymore? Have you ever kept one? How about a journal? It’s the story of your life. For some people, it consists of lists of things done that day: Today, I went to the store; I bought a pair of nice boots; I saw a friend I hadn’t seen in months; we had lunch together, etc. For the complainer, it could be a pouring out of heartbreaks and disappointments: He cheated on me! I asked her out and she said no, and she said it in a nasty way, too! I hate women/men/invisible aliens/my green shoes! That b*tch! My boss is a #$*&^!!! I hate myself! I hate my life!

Okay. Good job. Now, take a deep breath.

You see, “complainers” have been given a great gift—the gift of knowing they’re unhappy. If they take the time to probe into their unhappiness more deeply by writing in their diary/journal daily about how unhappy they are, then maybe, just maybe, they’ll discover that gift of knowing why they’re unhappy. You see, some people don’t know they’re unhappy because they’re in denial. They’ll insist, “I’m happy! I’m happy!” as if trying to convince themselves, and everyone around them, even when it’s painfully obvious that they are not. Other people know they’re unhappy but don’t know why. Such people often take antidepressants. Sometimes they’ll say the “meds” are helping them too, but the thing that is making them depressed often remains. Maybe it’s a job that’s not quite right for them or an unhealthy relationship or dreams never realized. The antidepressants might give the person energy and the ability to make it through the day without complaining or having a negative attitude but then the gift is never discovered.

Of course, we are not complainers. Oh no. We never complain. Not us.

Ehem.

Sorry.

One moment, please. I must clear my throat because there’s a frog in it. I mean, a clog in it. No, there’s smog in it. Bah! I just need a pause to force a moment of reflection upon the reader. Thank you.

But we can choose to complain. Constructive complaining via a  journal or diary can be very healing once we find the gift of positive solutions waiting deep, down inside all of us.

Gift? “Is it really a gift when I’m powerless to change the situation?” you ask, knowingly. And yes, I see you lifting that right eyebrow, as you tilt your head to one side and look at me as though to say, “Aha! I’ve got you!”

But no, you haven’t gotten me, silly. Only I can have me, for better or for worse. But you do raise a good point, virtual friend. Sometimes situations can seem pretty hopeless, and I’m not claiming to have all the answers. I’m still trying to figure out this whole life thing myself. However, I will say this: The first step to solving a problem is to acknowledge the problem exists. I’m all for emphasizing the positive, but positive thinking that causes people to go into denial and pretend that problems don’t exist is damaging our society in some pretty serious ways.

Sometimes we need to complain, to protest, to fight back. Doing that effectively and productively is not easy. One way, is to write it all down in as much detail as possible then to take a look at it. What do you see? It’s hard to look at it, isn’t it? Much easier to take the antidepressant and tell yourself everything’s okay.

Once we uncover the gift of knowing what we don’t like then we’re challenged with the gift of the goal for making things better. Once we admit that we hate our job and that it’s making us miserable, then our goal must be to find another source of income, right? Easier said than done! What if deep, down inside we really want to be a movie star? Or a champion wrestler? What if we’re married with children and realize that we never wanted to be married nor to have children in the first place? We can’t just walk away from a life. That would be irresponsible and hurt too many people. So… what to do?

This, I believe, is the reason why so many people say they “don’t know” why they’re unhappy. Deep, down inside we know, but we don’t want to know. Problems are not easily solved. Life’s challenges can be complicated. Further complicating things, we may have character flaws we don’t want to admit to. Maybe we get angry too easily, judge others too quickly, assume others are attacking us when they aren’t due to our own low self esteem or past experiences. Oy vey! What’s our problem anyway?!

The hole just gets deeper and deeper, the more we dig into ourselves, searching for this hidden treasure--our life’s true goal. The cause of our complaint translates into goals we need to set for ourselves. It can take years to figure this out, but if we’re lucky, it’ll only take us a few weeks of soul searching via journaling out our complaints. Then the real work begins (another reason why some people would rather not know their life’s true purpose.) Sometimes it’s so much easier to maintain the status quo, giving other people what they want, even when it means denying yourself what you really need.

Don’t be fooled by people who want you to be happy, happy, happy all the time. If you’re unhappy, use that energy. Find the root cause through smart complaining then set those goals. Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither were you (or I… or anyone.) This won’t change your life overnight. This is not a diet that lets you lose 10 pounds in 10 days while eating whatever you want or a get-rich-quick scheme that brings money to you even while you sleep. But this is a method that will lead you down the path toward real change.

Suicide will end your life completely—no change there. Denial can lead to addictions or insanity--no change there either. Neither of those things will help you or your family. Confronting your complaints head on, face-to-face, though extraordinarily difficult, will lead to real change, eventually. Just don’t expect instant gratification. Accept that it will take time, and enjoy the journey. You are growing, evolving. You are a work in progress.

Of course it’s hard to do. Of course it seems impossible. That’s why most people don’t do it. Most people never change. It’s painful to change. It hurts to change because it involves recognizing and correcting our own flaws (not the flaws of others.)

You’re headed toward something better and have a lot to learn along the way. Let’s learn together, you and I.

As motivational speaker Les Brown would say, “It isn’t over until I win!”

Musician John Lennon once said, “While there’s life, there’s hope,” then he died... And the original quote was first uttered probably centuries ago.

But the truth remains. Life is constantly changing, and if we’re not constantly working on changing ourselves in positive ways then we’re not fully alive. So complain in your journal then turn those obstacles into challenges then goals so that you can make a positive impact on the world around you. Happy people usually do.

[lipstickoffapig]

Know When to Roll with the Punches--Sometimes the Best Offense is to Run Away, Regroup, Renew and Let it Roll...

The best defense is not always a good offense. In boxing, when one is attacked aggressively by an opponent, a method of defense is to avoid the punch by moving your body away from it.

https://youtu.be/3xPtgJZG-dU

Someone tries to hit you and, instead of blocking them with your arm or fist, instead of hitting back, you just move your body out of the way so that it doesn’t get hit. Yes, it may seem like a passive move but it is a necessary move in some instances because that punch is going to hurt if it hits your body.

The expression “roll with the punches” applies this strategy to real life situations.

http://dearsportsfan.com/2015/09/24/what-does-it-mean-to-roll-with-the-punches/

It doesn’t mean that we need to passively just accept the attacks life throws at us but that we need to know when aggression cannot be fought with further aggression. Sometimes to best diffuse an aggressive act, we need to take a step back and just avoid being hurt by it.

This typically applies to things we cannot control, like aging, for example. I met an elderly woman of about 70 who lamented that she was no longer able to do some of the outdoor work that needed to be done around her house. Now, she had to hire someone to help her with it. Being someone who always seeks ways around obstacles, I began to think about this.

On the one hand, aging is inevitable. If we’re lucky enough to live for a long time, sooner or later we’re bound to have health problems that may create limitations for us.

On the other hand, in today’s rapidly changing society, technology is making it increasingly easier for us to overcome obstacles such as the aging process. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52ElNcufrQ8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKJaZDGVNWA

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting that everyone can be the 70-year-old bodybuilder. Life isn’t always fair to people. A person can take exceptionally good care of her health so that she looks half her age then get hit over the head one day while walking down the street and become disabled the relatively young age of 35.

Life just... happens...

But one thing we can control is how we react to things that happen to us. No matter how unjust, no matter how unfair, we can roll with those punches life hurls at us and find a way to punch back when all is clear.

My first thought for the 70-year-old I spoke with earlier was, “Wow, here’s a chance for you to try something new!” For many years, she’d gotten joy from gardening but now that she couldn’t do it anymore, she had all this free time to do something else. Why not take a college class you’d always wanted to take? Why not learn a new skill or hobby. With our good fortune to have Internet access these days, we have wonderful opportunities to explore the often free classes offered online. Here are a few examples, if you’d like to learn more:

www.udemy.com

www.edx.org

www.ed2go.org

www.udacity.com

www.mooc-list.com

Travel is another venture that many retired people pursue. They simply take their social security money and spend it on traveling across the country or throughout the world. (Though most of us working people today will never be able to retire... but that’s a different story...)

http://www.independenttraveler.com/travel-tips/senior-travel

https://www.roadscholar.org/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLryUXmI63g

Another thought that came to mind is that physical strength is not as necessary as it once was. I’ve seen people driving snow plows and driving lawn mowers and it looks like a lot of fun. It also appears to not require much physical effort. I’m sure that there are other gardening and landscaping tools that are getting increasingly easier to operate so as not to require much physical effort.

Still another thought that comes to mind has to do with health and nutrition. We take it for granted that the food we buy at the supermarket is safe to eat and that the water we drink from the faucet is safe to drink. I beg to differ.

As we get older, we need to be more mindful of what we’re eating, how we exercise and whether or not we’re getting enough nutrition. Often times people can build strength and flexibility in their elder years but it does require self discipline and, yes, a certain amount of work. When we’re 18, we can sit in front of a TV set all day long then jump off the couch and run around the block with a few friends but... later in life, we’re going to need to limit how much time we sit on that couch and spend a longer part of our day stretching and strength-training if we want to maintain enough strength and flexibility so that we can continue leading an independent existence. Of course, we can develop age-related problems such as arthritis and just accept it, opt for surgery or painkillers. But an alternative is to roll with the punches then strike back at the right moment. We can put ourselves on an exercise and diet plan that enables us to regain our quality of life. It will take work, but the rewards make it worthwhile--at least from my point of view.

There are lots of obstacles being thrown at us all the time. Some people are lucky and have fewer and less daunting obstacles than the rest of us. We may envy those people, but why waste the time? Such people don’t develop the strength of character that results from years of struggle to overcome a seemingly insurmountable obstacle. Such people don’t know the gratitude and appreciation we can have when we realize we can obtain what we want after all. The 18-year-old doesn’t know how lucky she is that she can run around the block. The 50-year-old is intensely grateful that she can still run around the block.

This is how I choose to deal with life’s difficulties when I can’t change the situation. I recognize the gratitude and strong character I will grow within myself because this challenge has been presented to me. I recognize that I will learn more, that I will grow more, that ultimately, I will be a better person because of it.

Yes, I know, it may seem that I’m just rationalizing, but what is the alternative? I say, when you’re out of control over the situation and life keeps throwing punches in your direction, just roll with the punches and strike back when it is the right time to do so. But never, ever, let it keep you down. The best fighter in the world has been hit many times and has been knocked down many times, but she gets back up and she learns to strike back--but only at the right time and place. Until then she bides her time, rolling with the punches, strengthening those arms and legs, building flexibility, taking her supplements, eating those fruits and veges. And then... when the time is right...

And only when the time is right...

She embarks upon that journey and climbs that mountain.

[lipstickoffapig]

You can’t date the Taj Mahal—and Other Romantic Horror Stories

You can’t date the Taj Mahal—and Other Romantic Horror Stories. (Yes, there are romantic horror stories. Haven’t heard of the genre? Welcome to... my life!)

He’s the Taj Mahal, the Eiffel Tower and crème brulée all wrapped into one. Crème de la crème! The creamiest of the cream—and I’m not talking about goat’s milk cream here. I’m talking about the real thang..

He is, in fact: The One.

           Your soulmate.

                       Your Twin Flame.

                                   A match made in heaven.

He’s everything you’ve always wanted but never knew you wanted until it appeared before you. Heaven on earth. He’s got it all (according to your outspoken imagination.)

Hell no, lady! Get a grip! On second thought, get an extra large grip. Size matters!

Looking for a man is like driving by a slimy, fast-food joint after a long road trip during which you were food-deprived for ten hours. By now, you’re starving. Completely ravenous. Gotta eat NOW! Something! Anything! As long as it’s spelled “F-O-O-D,” then it’s okay with me.

When you stop in that fast food restaurant, you think you’re in heaven. At last, you can eat. That burger and fries taste like heaven on earth.

But how would you feel if you passed by that same restaurant on a day when you’ve already eaten breakfast and lunch and have plenty of time to seek out dinner? On a day when you’re satisfied, satiated, and eating is optional would you even consider stopping there? Or would you drive past it in search of something better?

Maybe you’d even skip dinner if the right place didn’t come along?

A strange analogy, you say? Well, not to a foodie like me. I know better than to shop for groceries when I’m hungry. How about you?

When you’re lonely, do you try to feel content? To fill your day with meaningful activities? To feel good about yourself and to enjoy your day even though you’d rather spend it with someone else?

Or do you act like the hungry traveler desperately seeking something, anything to fill that empty space? Makes a difference, doesn’t it? The desperate traveler lowers her standards, accepting anything that comes along. The satiated traveler delays gratification, trusting the right one will come along as long as she keeps searching—but not with desperation but with love, and perhaps desire, but not a desperate desire.

How about you? Do you search for what you want with desperation or love?

[lipstickoffapig]

Boost Your Intelligence

Boost Your Intelligence

Have a lot of problems in your life? Boost your intelligence so that you’ll have the tools you’ll need to solve them.

Why not? If you’re smarter, then, logically, you’ll have more intellectual tools for solving your own problems, right? (Well, it hasn’t always worked for me… but… generally speaking, being smarter can only make one more resourceful.)

Strengthening our minds can make us much better problem solvers and give us the tools to find resources we may not have guessed could exist. If nothing else, watching our intelligence increase can boost our self confidence, and that can help us to communicate better with others and form better quality relationships.

How to boost intelligence?

Well, simply thinking about small problems and all the potential causes and effects can get us started. For example, a tree falls in the wilderness—a small problem for me at the moment, as I’m nowhere near the wilderness. But…

Why? How? When? Where? The unimaginative and blissfully complacent nonthinkers may respond with, “That’s just the way it is. Trees fall after a while,” then move onto mindlessly watching yet another TV sitcom.

Oy vay! (Spell check?)

Yes, a tree could have grown old and fallen but why would growing old cause it to fall? Do all trees fall when they grow old? How old is old? Does the wood of the tree get dry and brittle? What causes that? Is the tree less able to absorb nutrients and moisture in its old age? Are there trees much older that haven’t fallen yet, that are doing better? Why?

Maybe it’s not an old tree at all. Maybe it’s a new tree. Maybe a draught caused the tree to become dry and brittle. Maybe the tree got sick. Do trees catch viruses the way humans do? Bacterial infections? Or possibly insects or rodents harmed this tree?

Do trees get injured? Could it have been struck by lightening and never quite recovered? Was it bitten up into despair by nature’s creatures?

We an continue to ask questions about why it fell, how it fell, and even speculate on how to prevent other trees from falling, ways to save dying trees or what to do with trees once they fall. We can even study the aftermath of the tree’s fall to see how it might affect human life surrounding it. Could whatever caused the tree to fall also harm humans?

So many questions. Why ask them? This inquisitive practice can teach us to seek solutions, to solve problems. Developing this skill enables us to apply it to areas of our own life. The more we develop our imagination and practice deep contemplation and focus, and the more we question our current reality, the more likely we are to find solutions everywhere we go. That skill can be life-saving in times of trouble.

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Tired of Being a Victim? Practice random acts of kindness.

Americans don’t like victims. Being a victim means being a loser. It means that no matter how hard you worked, how hard you tried, you still didn’t make it. In some parts of the US, the shame is greater for those who don’t have a lot of money. But to some extent, Americans everywhere judge each other harshly by how much money and how many material things they’ve acquired. When we struggle, we Americans tell ourselves that it’s temporary, that we’re temporarily embarrassed millionaires. No matter how victimized by life they are, most Americans will never admit it, even to ourselves.

Fact is, some of us are victims. We’ve been victimized by life. Social injustice is something we know all too well. It can be easy for those of us in that situation to cry in our beer. (But then the beer gets salty and watery, and that’s not so tasty, is it?)

Viewing one’s self as a victim can itself become a trap. We need to be careful of wallowing in our misery. Of course, we don’t want to lie to ourselves about our situation. When life sucks, it truly sucks. The first step in solving a problem is recognizing that it exists. Denial can be dangerous. Denial keeps some people abusing alcohol and drugs because facing difficulties is too much of a challenge. Get high and all the pain goes away—but the cause of that pain remains, may even grow into something much bigger and harder to defeat.

So yes, we need to face our obstacles but not get overwhelmed by them, and that’s a tricky balancing act sometimes. When I find myself feeling too bad about the way things are then that’s when I know I’ve fallen out of balance. There’s a time to be serious and a time to just relax and have some fun.

After all, no one is a victim ALL of the time. Certainly, if you’re in a situation where your life is being threatened, a domestic violence situation for example, then you need to get out NOW. But even then, once you’ve escaped that threat, it’s important to remember that there’s a time to cry and a time to laugh. Go ahead and get some therapy if you need to. Find a trustworthy friend to cry to. Or just lock yourself in the bathroom, turn on the faucet and let yourself cry behind the water fall. But after all that, find a time to laugh too.

One way I do that is to practice random acts of kindness. I’ll cheerfully let someone squeeze in front of me when I’m driving. I’ll give the cashier an extra $5 to apply toward someone’s groceries when I see someone in need behind me in the checkout line. I’ll smile warmly at a stranger and make him/her smile for just a moment.

There are lots of things we can do, just randomly, to brighten up another person’s day. And guess what? We end up brightening our own.  We might even start a trend so that other people start doing the same thing. Then one day when we’re feeling especially low, someone practices a random act of kindness on us, and we remember that it was the dark days, the sad and sorry days, that motivated us toward committing the acts of kindness in the first place. Then we feel grateful and our mood elevates. Without even trying, we’re smiling, even on our darkest day.

[lipstickoffapig]

Tonight go to sleep as though your whole past has been dropped. Die to the past. And in the morning wake up as a new man in a new morning. Don’t let the same one who went to bed get up. Let him go to sleep for good. Let the one who is ever-new and ever-fresh awake instead.

Osho (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[lipstickoffapig]

Start now. Start where you are. Start with fear. Start with pain. Start with doubt. Start with hands shaking. Start with voice trembling but start. Start and don’t stop. Start where you are, with what you have. Just … start.

Ijeoma Umebinyuo (via minuga-hana)

[lipstickoffapig]

Paying Attention to How We Feel in Every Situation...

Pay attention to your feelings—especially when they change.

How do you feel right now? Happy? Sad? Indifferent?

Today, I drove to the main library downtown to pick up some books that I needed. Odd as this may sound, upon entering the library, I felt my mood deflate. Something in the air, the energy around me, I don’t know, something made me feel as though I were in some sort of prison. It wasn’t just the security guards seated in front of the exits and entrances. Maybe it was the large number of homeless and what appeared to be dejected inner city residents who were there just passing the time away. I don’t know...

Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate libraries. Libraries are some of the few public places left that don’t charge a fee to enter. Anyone—rich, poor, black, white, male, female, young, old, etc.—anyone can go to the library and spend as much or as little time as they want in there. The library is one of the last public spaces still open to us all.

But the atmosphere was so dreary, so dark, so strangely stress-filled. There was a sense of death in the air. I don’t know why. I know this sounds illogical, but I just wanted to get in and out of that place as soon as possible. And I did!

Now, I am an info junkie, so I was tempted by books set up on display, tempted to flip through books with intriguing covers and titles, but I stopped myself. I found the books that were on my list and did take out a couple of extra books that were not on my list—in spite of myself. But I stopped myself from looking further and succeeded in removing myself from that library as soon as possible!

Yes, I am aware this sounds crazy. Maybe it is crazy? But I pay attention to my feelings, rational or not. Something in the atmosphere didn’t feel right to me. Everyone—librarians and clientele alike—seemed miserable, in a hurry, overwhelmed, overextended and afraid to smile or chat. I don’t even think I’m explaining this very well, but I believe I was feeling the inner city zeitgeist—despair, hopelessness, disempowerment, dystopia. All that in a public library!

Point is, when I left the building I felt so much better. Don’t get me wrong here. I like public libraries and am glad they still exist. Some people want to budget cut them out of existence, so I really appreciate them and hope we don’t lose access to our libraries. Libraries aren’t just public spaces. They also provide access to learning materials for everyone, regardless of economic status.

But somehow the atmosphere at this particular location had been taken over by a dark spirit. At least that was what I felt. Accurate or not, crazy or not, I felt so much better—so much better—when I left that building.

So here’s the point of my blog. Pay attention to your feelings, regardless of whether or not they seem rational. Sometimes our subconscious mind notices things we don’t see consciously. That translates into feelings that we cannot explain. If you feel bad when you enter a building or a situation then notice that and get yourself out of that situation as soon as possible. No need to question the rationality of your behavior. Something in the atmosphere may trigger a bad memory or perhaps you saw something out of the corner of your eye that triggered it. But if you’re dealing with a lot of obstacles and difficulties in your life it can be difficult to be happy and optimistic. That’s why it is especially important to avoid the negative situations and notice what makes you feel good. Some people do this by keeping a journal and writing down how they feel after each situation or event. 

We don’t need to share this information with anyone else. Other people may not understand. But we do need to take care of ourselves. If something or someone makes you feel bad, why spend time on that? Why not leave and explore new territory? Any new situation, place or event is better than an old negative one. A stranger is better company than a close relative whose company somehow causes you to feel uncomfortable. That stranger may one day become your new best friend. Who knows? A strange place can be more comforting than familiar territory that makes us uneasy or brings back bad memories.  

My rambling thoughts for today...

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My name is Tyler, and I wanted to start a band, so I picked a name, a logo, and wrote and recorded songs in my basement. I really had no idea what I was doing. All I knew was that music did something to me. What I DID know was that I needed help bringing the songs to life on stage. Then I met Josh, a kid with no plan B. He lived and breathed plan A: music. And I liked that he beat the crap out of his instrument. Then we played shows, all kinds of shows. It never really was discussed, we just knew we had no choice but to play with as much conviction for 5 people as we would for 5,000. We wanted our shows to be more about others than about ourselves, creating an unpredictable but always beautiful dance with the people in the crowd. Honesty and authenticity works, and, as it turns out, people wanna be a part of that. 9,765. Turns out it doesn’t take a million likes to get the music industry’s attention. On November 19th, 2011, we played in front of a sold out hometown for 1700 of our most dedicated fans in Columbus, Ohio. A few years of hard work materialized into one night, our fans were the first local fan base to ever sell the place out to that capacity. I don’t know exactly how it happened, but after that night people from 'the industry’ started asking the question, ‘What’s going on in Ohio?’ The next 3 months were the craziest months of our lives. Out of nowhere, we had a dozen labels interested in our small local band, taking us completely off guard. We had questions: Would we lose creative control? Would we be turned into something we are not? Can we keep doing what we are doing, the way we were doing it? Are we selling out? Encouraged by the answers to those questions, we signed a record deal called Fueled By Ramen. A record deal! Tonight, 5 months later, we are back in Columbus to explain the incredible news to the people who deserve to hear it first. But it’s just the beginning. We cannot wait to see what the future holds for us and our fans. And to them we say: We never got a big break. You created our big break. Thank you. So if you are pursuing your dreams, pursuing what it is you are passionate about, I hope this story encourages you. And if you know someone who is, encourage them with this: Don’t give up. Push through the droughts. Channel the inevitable disappointments back into your craft. Break molds. Think. Create. But most importantly: Stay alive. And in the meantime, make it about others. That seems to work. Stay strong, live on, and power to the local dreamer.

Tyler Joseph, after being signed by Fueled by Ramen with Josh Dun. (via youareoutofmymind)

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Everything in moderation, including reality.

Julz Millar (via deeplifequotes)

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The poison leaves bit by bit, not all at once. Be patient. You are healing.

Yasmin Mogahed (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

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10 Quick Tips for conquering the Blues

1. Attempt to uncover the reason that you’re down.

2. Journal about your feelings.

3. Identify the thoughts associated with your feelings.

4. Challenge faulty, negative extreme thought patterns.

5. Talk to a trusted friend or counsellor.

6. Plan a day out, a special treat, or a vacation.

7. Play and dance to some upbeat music.

8. Snuggle up with a blanket and your favourite book.

9. Turn off social media, your laptop and cell phone.

10. Give yourself some space and withdraw for a while – then do something more social that’s low pressure as well.

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It’s funny how artistic we become when our hearts are broken.

Hotel Books, I Always Thought I Would Be Okay  (via alunit)

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Keep Your Eyes Open... Read, Read, Read!

Reading your local newspaper or checking out local web sites that inform you of local events in your area can turn up all sorts of surprising stuff. Seriously, you never know what you might discover! Solutions to solving an obstacle you thought was impossible might be offered next Friday at 8 a.m., for example... Well, at least, that’s what happened to me. So...

Keep Your Eyes Open... Read, Read, Read!    

Pay attention to your surroundings. Read ads posted on public billboards. They still exist! Listen to what other people are telling you about events in your community. Read your local newspaper and/or check out local web sites that inform you of events in your area that are often free and can turn up all sorts of surprising solutions to problems we thought were impossible. Seriously, you never know what you might discover! Your biggest problem might be solved next Friday morning, free of charge. Sometimes all you need to do is show up.

Recently, I had a mysterious fainting spell. For reasons yet unexplained, I lost consciousness and fell face forward on the floor. Ouch! Except I was unconscious, so I didn’t feel anything… until after the fact, and I will continue to be in pain for probably several weeks.

After I hit the floor, I woke up next to a pool of my own blood, surprised that I wasn’t in bed and not even knowing where I was at first. Pretty disturbing. Fortunately, no bones were broken but my front teeth have been aching ever since. Although I could still chew food with my back teeth, it often aggravated the pain, so I’ve remained on a diet of soft food. Hmm… Might help my diet anyhow.

“All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth…”

I think of that song quite often now. It’s made me realize how much we take for granted. My two front teeth! What if I lose my teeth? Having no health insurance and being reluctant to sign up for Medicaid (due to its being a form of government assistance and my knowledge of the law that enables the government to confiscate recipients’ assets when they die if they collected Medicaid benefits during their lifetime), I thought I wouldn’t be able to get my teeth checked. Well, maybe it wasn’t important anyhow. Maybe my teeth would just heal on their own.

But I’m an info junkie. I read the fine print. It’s not always useful, but sometimes I’ll be pleasantly surprised. So when I found my coworker’s old-fashioned newspaper, I was curious. I picked it up and began reading a list of local events in my area. Yes, many of the events didn’t interest me at all, but one event stood out:

A dental office was offering a free visit along with needed services to low-income, uninsured people in the community. Yep, it was free dental care, but only offered on one day at the end of the week. I would have to get up extra early and drive a long way to get there, but believe me, it was SO worth it! A teacher of mine once said, “If you want something in life then plan it. Just plan it!” Words I’ll never forget. I wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass me by. It was an answer to a prayer. So I wrote the date on my calendar and planned my trip out there.  

I’ll write more about the visit in the next blog.  But the essence of this blog entry is this: pay attention. This means not giving up. This means realizing that we don’t have all the answers and that our obstacles haven’t been overcome—yet—only because we haven’t found the solutions—yet.  Don’t forget the word “yet”! And don’t forget that solutions are out there somewhere. They may be in a good, old-fashioned newspaper or posted on a bulletin board. Often there are resources that do exist. They may be limited by time and availability, though, so that’s why it’s important to keep our eyes open so that we’ll recognize and seize the opportunity right away.  

Okay! Until next time...  Onward and upward!

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To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (via quotemadness)

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Start now. Start where you are. Start with fear. Start with pain. Start with doubt. Start with hands shaking. Start with voice trembling but start. Start and don’t stop. Start where you are, with what you have. Just … start.

Ijeoma Umebinyuo (via minuga-hana)