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i would fuck a vampire. i would fuck a werewolf. i wouldn’t fuck a ghost. would fuck a mermaid. would fuck an angel. demon yes. witch yes. elf of course. fairy…female yes, male no. succubus duh. wizards are a no brainer. zombies no.

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dentists will splash some water in your mouth and youll think "oh a nice drink of water i was parched" just for them to suck it back out with their wretched little tube. disingenuous behavior

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#Welcome back Mr. Lioncourt

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Daniel Molloy has never been more relatable than when he visibly has the slow-sinking realization "Oh no, this man is about to forgive his boyfriend for all of it"

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those fuckass vampires saw two young women enter the only functional vampire relationship in the history of vampires and were like 'oh we must kill them'

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the idea of armand putting on the sunglasses and giggling like hehe louis is gonna find this sooo funny and he walks through the door to find his husbands have trauma bonded and unionised against him is genuinely the funniest fucking moment of the whole show

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funniest possible subtitles

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can‘t let anne rice know armand is writing self insert lestat fanfiction she‘ll sue him

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THIS IS BORING! YOU’RE BORING! YOU. ARE SO. BORING! COLORLESS, FLAVORLESS, DULL. DULL. DULL NIGHTS, DULL WEEKS, DULL MONTHS, DULL AS FUCK! SUFFOCATION BY THE WORLDS’ SOFTEST, BEIGEST PILLOW! THE TEN HOURS I SPENT WITH THAT BOY WERE MORE EXCITING. WERE MORE FASCINATING! THAN DECADES WITH YOU! OH THERE IT IS. THE HALF BLANK, HALF APOCALYPTIC LOOK. BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN TONIGHT, HUH? DO YOU WANNA LICK MY BOOTS? OR CHOP MY HANDS OFF? IS IT THE GREMLIN OR THE GOOD NURSE TONIGHT? HUH? PICKIN’ LINT OFF THE SOFA? OKAY, OKAY. LET’S WAKE THE BOY UP, AND LET’S TRY YOU. I’M THE VAMPIRE ARMAND AND MY DADDY VAMPIRE GROOMED ME INTO A LITTLE BITCH!

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I love how every week in post-episode interviews, jacob anderson is just chilling and pondering louis’ precarious psyche and being like ‘oh louis is so fucked up. that man is Not well, can you believe how unwell he is??’ while assad zaman kinda looks like he’s been up all night trying to absorb armand into his soul and he’s like ‘armand is a little scheming bitch, he’s always scheming and planning and also he’s lonely. but mostly scheming’ and then every once in a while a wild sam reid appears and he goes ‘btw whatever they’re telling you about lestat, they’re lying and my close personal friend lestat de lioncourt is NOT happy about it’

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Daniel Molloy making fun of telenovelas only to discover he’s got an amnesia plotline

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I know it’s not gonna happen but I think the funniest possible course for Armand to take post-S2E5 is to say “Damn, my memory cuts off there too. WHOOOOO could’ve done this?”

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I think one big reason why we don't consider the stars as important as before (not even pop-astrology anymore cares about the stars or the sky on itself, just the signs deprived of context) is because of light pollution.

For most of human history the sky looked between 1-3, 4 at most. And then all of a sudden with electrification it was gone (I'm lucky if I get 6 in my small city). The first time I saw the Milky Way fully as a kid was a spiritual experience, I was almost scared on how BRIGHT it was, it felt like someone was looking back at me. You don't get that at all with modern light pollution.

When most people talk about stargazing nowadays they think about watching about a couple of bright dots. The stars are really, really not like that. The unpolluted night sky is a festival of fireworks. There is nothing like it.

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lestat yelling in fear for louis when armand doesn't respond because he thinks louis must be dead

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iwtv fandom constantly arguing about who the real bad guy is when shit hits the fan like oh its lestats fault or armands or actually louis is the real villain!! IRRELEVANT. disregard. the reason everything always goes to shit in this show is because unfortunately louis and lestat do match eachothers freak and the resonant harmony of their freakiness sends pure unfiltered wavelengths of suffering to every single characters vampire brainstem and ruins their lives. in this business we call it the invisible chord.