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Rambling here but….

This has truly hit me harder than I expected it to. I feel completely blindsided by all of this. It’s as if the rug was just pulled out from under me. As a gay man, this was a hard punch to the gut and not just for me but for everyone who found representation in these characters. I hate this especially for Lou, though. After Oliver’s recent comments, it’s clear now more than ever that Lou was the one person who truly cared and was the most invested in the relationship and its potential. He believed in the story and wanted more for it. To think about how he endured so much vile, hateful, and disgusting attacks online for months on end and stayed silent through it all without a single cast member standing up to defend him sickens me. All for him and his character to be discarded like this…without any care at all. it’s upsetting. It’s unfair. And I’m sure Lou himself doesn’t take any of it personally, but still. it’s just all so….

I’ve never experienced anything like this in a fandom before.

I feel spat on.

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Watching the break up scene after 5 hours and I don't even know how put a line between Tommy Kinard and Lou anymore. Like I know it was Tommy speaking but it now feels like watching Lou giving a final speech and his own heart break.

I'm so sad and frustrated 😭😮‍💨.

It was Buck that getting his Tommy breaking up with him but it literally is Lou leaving us.

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lou😭😭😭

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i don't think I can get over this easily.

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A goodbye post I guess?

Hey yall, i wanted to write something about all of this as this may be the last time I talk about this show. Apologies in advance, this will be long and all over the place cause im using this little essay to get it off my chest and help me calm down my anxiety. Strap in, this will be a doozy.

First off, no matter how sad and disappointed we are, let’s please not stoop down to the level of those fans when it comes to voicing our issues with this situation. Please, let’s not harass, call people names, send them threats, etc. we can voice our opinions in an adult way, and although it fucking hurts and it makes us want to shout from the rooftops and call Murphy, Minear and Stark every name in the sun, we need to be grown ups and come out on top of it.

That being said, I want to first acknowledge how fun and cool yall are. We endured A LOT of shit since april and all that bullshit didn’t stop you from keeping the positivity going. I applaud you all for that. It has been hard. I came in contact and became friends with some really nice people here and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I loved being a part of this fandom and it physically hurts me that this feels like it was all for nothing.

Even though I feel like a fool as well, I hate to see how you are all so sad with this. This wasn’t our fault. We were not naive for believing that this storyline could’ve been great. Don’t blame yourself for being taken advantage of. Because that’s what they did. They saw the opportunity to profit from a community and took it. They are the ones in the wrong. They used us for brownie points and then tossed us away like trash the second they got what they wanted. It’s on them.

What I’m about to say now will sound hypocritical as I’m writing this at 2am while trying to cope with an anxiety attack caused by this very show, but what we can take away from this is that unfortunately, we can’t rely on tv shows for happiness. Yes, that’s a bitter pill to swallow, specially in this political climate as we were hoping for some sort of escape from the horrors of the elections. What i took away from this is that I need to (for lack of a better word) touch grass. I need hobbies, I need friends. All things that I’ve been lacking because fandom stuff is easier. I need to find stuff that makes me happy that doesn’t depend on outside factors. But also I want to make sure that if a show is all you have, that’s okay and is even more okay to feel betrayed. I was an absolute mess a few years ago when a show I adored stabbed their fans in the back, but it gets better. You still get angry remembering you were done dirty but I promise that the memories that stick are the positive ones.

I don’t wanna go on a deleting spree but I also don’t want to be reminded of this hurtful moment as the wound is still fresh, so I’m deciding to reevaluate some things offline, like I did with previous fandoms, and come back when I’m ready. I don’t think I’ll leave tumblr or never watch/talk about 911 again but I need some time and space from it so I can feel better. I don’t want to doom scroll through the tags like I did tonight. What Ryan Murphy, Tim Minear and Oliver Stark did to us was awful, but the best thing I can do is not let these three men influence my mental health. I won’t let a tv show ruin me because it’s not my fault. It’s not our fault to believe that there were half decent people in the entertainment industry that cares about the portrayal of queer individuals. They will have to sleep at night with that knowledge and deal with the consequences from the BoBs. And if these guys decide to humor the BoBs that’s their funeral. It would further show they never cared about representation and just wanted to save face after making so many people miserable for simply enjoying a canon ship. I hope they can see the consequences because I’m not even the target here. I’m hurt for all the queer men that saw themselves in buck and tommy, that even messaged the actors thanking them for their honest portrayal.

In conclusion, here’s my goodbye (for now).

Thank you so much bucktommy nation!

Yall are the best,

Love, Lety 🖤

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thank you to all of the amazing bucktommy fan writers, artists, giffers, etc. 💜 - you treated this relationship better than the show ever could!

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like you mean to fucking tell me that tommy agreed to give buck a second chance AND go to madney’s wedding after his and buck’s failed first date when they’d known each other for not even that long BUT when buck asked tommy to move in with him, after they’d been boyfriends for 6 months, after the “cause our people are what make life worth living,” that’s when tommy was like. “wait. no. this isn’t it for you? i’m not your last i’m your first.” or, whatever fuckass thing it was. you mean to tell me, tommy who cut the date short with buck because he didn’t wanna pressure him but also wanted to protect his own heart, decided to be in this relationship to jsut end it like that one day? like tell me where any of this makes sense because that is not the tommy we got to know at all and that is not the relationship they were building towards.

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※ I would greatly appreciate if you could japanese translate.

hello bucktommy nation❤️

私は日本に住む911ファンの女性です。

勘のいい方なら気づいていたかも(ほとんど気付いていたかな😂)

私は生粋の日本人です。

しかし、英語が好きなので日頃から映画やドラマを見ているのですがなかなか話せるまでには至らず…。

英文を読んで理解は割とできるのですが返すのが難しく翻訳をしたり調べながらしながらこのファンダムに参加していました。

翻訳機は便利😂😂😂

皆さんのファンフィクは翻訳しながら読んでるよ。

今日の911だけはサイトに動画がアップロードされていたから部分部分で見ていました。

tumblrに登録したのも911のbucktommyに惚れ込んだからです。

翻訳して調べながらでも皆さんとbucktommy/louの良さを共有したかったからです。

ファンダムに参加してファンフィクを読んでいくうちに"ああ、国は違えどファンの感覚は同じなんだな"と嬉しくなりました😂❤️❤️❤️

ですが…今日(日本は金曜日のAM10:40頃)bucktommyは完全に消滅しました。

正直死ぬほど辛いです。打ちのめされてます。

たかが架空のキャラと思っていたのに…😢

私はYouTubeのloftのkiss sceneでのlouに惹かれてこの番組を見始めました。

全てはtommyとbuckの幸せが見たくて何ヶ月もかけでseason7まで一気に見ました。

それなのに煽りに煽り幸せそうな彼らを見せつけた後に意味不明な最後を迎え破局した。

ドラマのカップルが別れてこんなにも打撃を受けたのは初めてです。

buckにもイライラしている…。

先程のoliverのinterviewを読んだけど地獄でした。

ああ…結局はまた尻軽buckに戻るんだなと(個人的な見解です)

そして、louはbuddieから嫌がらせを受け脅迫されてもニコニコして撮影に参加してくれた。

ファンからのメッセージやファン動画、instagramにもいいねをしてくれた。

ルーは天使だよ。優しすぎる。

louが優しくて素敵な人間だからこそ胸が張り裂けそうなんだ。

彼が嫌がらせを受けてもABCや911の関係者が特に何もしなかったのもずっと腹が立ってる。

憶測ですがlou自体がtommy役をやることによって嫌がらせを受けるのに��れてしまったのかなとも思う。

それじゃなかったらあまりにも脚本が雑で意味がわからない。

今までの彼らの"サイン"や行動が白紙になってるんだもん。

負け惜しみに聞こえるかもしれないけどlouの心の平穏のためにもtommy役を降りて良かったかもしれない。

酷い誹謗中傷を受けてたから。

長くなりましたがとにかくbucktommyが好きでtommyが好きでlouが好きでこのファンダムに参加しました。

メッセージが来てもやり取りが難しかったので奇妙な返答になっていたかもしれませんが許してください。

louの人柄とsexyな容姿の虜になっているので彼のことはこれからも追いかけて応援したいと思います。

911は…心が落ち着いたら見ようと思います。

と言っても日本ではまだseason8は配信されないので皆さんの動画や写真で見させてもらいます🥹

うーん…でもbuckを見てもtommyを思い出して悲しくなるから見るのは難しいかも。

でもmadney、eddie、buck、henren、bathena、その他のキャラクター達の幸運を祈るよ。

まだ悲しいので皆さんと一緒にいさせてください😢

とてもとても長い文章を読んでくれてありがとう！

日本人はほぼいないと思うから翻訳してくれてありがとう！

love you all❤️

thank you❤️ARIGATOU

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love you lou ferrigno jr.

I'm a big fan of yours.

Always stay healthy and happy.

I'll continue to support you with all my strength!

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I had a crush on tommy...

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congratulations!

buddies won👏

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Let me tell you one last thing.

Tim, you suck.

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thank you bucktommy nation!

love you all❤️

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I feel so fucking sad and sorry for Lou Ferrigno jr.

To have spent the best part of this year being harassed and threatened and had the most horrific shit said to him all because he wasn’t the man the buddie stans wanted for Buck, to then get dropped last minute in the end because it was suddenly decided to break them up.

I’ve really lost some respect for Tim Minear for this and I hope that Lou is okay. He’s a grown man and it’s the nature of his profession and he obviously knows this, but still I hope that he can move forward happily and that what he’s had to endure from the nastier side of the fandom hasn’t affected him deeply.

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bye 911

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i feel awful

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？！