lilith-among-the-stars

[lilith-among-the-stars]

Who: @captain-orionqueen​ Where: Orion's Office

It wasn't exactly out of the ordinary for Lilith to be called into Orion's office; he'd often pull her in to discuss their current predicament, vent about something stressful, or even just to shoot the shit. This time however, she herself was a little on edge. Having found out from Alex that their secret was out, she figured it was only a matter of time before word reached Orion, and she knew it would be far better for her brother to hear about her and Alex from her than it would be from some random source. That meant that she was going to have to bring it up to Orion sooner rather than later, and while she wasn’t sure why he had called her in today specifically, a small part of her was hoping she’d find the opportunity to broach the subject with him. “What’s up, Ry? How are you holding up?” she asked with a smile once she closed the door behind her, the smile falling from her face as she noticed the grim look on his. There was a sort of tension in the air that she read easily, and she knew him well enough to know that something was off. “What’s wrong?” 

[lilith-among-the-stars]

aleksanderwilsons​:

Her feelings were something Alex easily understood. While he was sure of what would make him happy, how to go about it and how to get there were not so easy. “That makes sense.” His hand clasped gently around her wrist as she trailed her hand over his cheek. “I’ve always thought of it as home. I can’t guarantee I’ll always think of it like that for the rest of my life. I’ve always kinda assumed that’s where I would settle down. The most important thing is that my family is there. I never thought about settling down anywhere they weren’t. ” Even that wasn’t as easy as it should be. But Alex knew that he wanted to have his family nearby when he ended up making his own family. “Is there some place specific you want to settle down? Do you think you want to keep being a pilot, even if it’s not traveling all the time?” Neither of them had talked much about their futures, much less their futures together. Alex didn’t want to get attached to a vision of the future that had Lilith in it when there was no possible way they could be together in the end. Not simply due to whatever happened on the ship, but the aftermath. He couldn’t give up certain things, no matter how much he loved Lilith and wanted to be with her.

If there was one topic they stayed away from, it was their captains. Alex was struggling with his feelings for both of them. He wouldn’t give a damn about Orion if it weren’t for Lilith. A lot of his future feelings depended on Orion’s reaction to Alex himself and Lilith’s relationship with him. When it came to Cass’s relationships, Alex always did his best to remind himself that she could take care of herself and if her partner made her happy that was the main thing that mattered. Other siblings were not so happy to try and accept significant others. Only time would tell how his relationship (or lack of) with Orion would progress considering he barely even knew the man, but for the moment Alex was content to do his best to not think of him at all. Not wanting to let thoughts of the bad stuff ruin their evening together, he moved his hand to thread their fingers together, bringing up their entwined hands to press a kiss to her knuckles. “Hey. Whatever happens, I’m sure we’ll get through it, okay? You make me so happy, Lil. I don’t know what I would do without you here, and I’m gonna do everything in my power to make sure you as a person and us as a team get through this.”

Even if she couldn't really relate to the part about his family, Lilith understood where he was coming from. From the time they'd first started talking, it was obvious that Alex was close to his family. Honestly she envied him for it in some ways. She loved Orion, but parents were different. She still remembered hers, but some days it felt like just barely. "I wouldn't have thought about it either if my family was still around." They hadn't talked about her parents much, but Lil knew if they were still alive, she would have done her best to stay close to them. Hell - she might never have joined the Alliance. But then again, if she hadn't, she wouldn't have Alex or Orion. "No, not really. I don't think I've ever been attached to any one place. And.... Honestly? I don't know anymore. I used to think I could never give up flying, but with everything that's happened..." Lilith's voice trailed off, since she didn't have to explain. Alex was the only person she'd voiced her over turmoil and guilt to, so even though she didn't bring it up much, he would understand.

Considering she hadn't ever had strong ties to anyone other than Orion before now, her thoughts were a jumble when she tried to think about her future. She wanted to be able to plan one with Alex - something beyond being stuck on a ship together. A real life. A real family, even. Without having voiced the words, deep down Lilith knew she was in love with Alex. There weren't many people - if any - she was willing to go to such lengths to be with. Whenever Orion found out about them (and it would be a when, because Lilith would eventually tell him), she had every intention of bearing the brunt of whatever anger he might have. She could hope he would be happy for her, but with the stress he was under, who knew how he would react. As Alex kissed her knuckles, her eyes rose to meet his again. "You make me happy, too. Happier than I've been in a long time." It took everything in her to gather her courage, but if they were talking about the future, even just possible ones, Lilith needed Alex to know where she stood, and in turn, where he stood. Sure, she had a lot to lose if things went the wrong way, but it would be worse to lose Alex down the line after he'd gotten deeper under her skin. "I would have barely made it through the last few months without you, Alex. You've been there for me through everything, and I can only hope I've done the same." A deep breath as she squeezed his hand in hers. "I love you, Alex."

[lilith-among-the-stars]

aleksanderwilsons​:

Part of him was frustrated at her frustration. At that point he felt they were having two different conversations, and hell if he knew what she was talking about. “No, Lilith. I’m sorry if I made it seem like that. It felt like the right thing to say at the time. I meant it more as a precaution, in case something did happen. Not because I want something bad to happen between us.” Not seeing Lilith for whatever reason sounded about as fun as torture did. He hadn’t known if he would get another chance to tell her how much she meant to him, though. Whatever hell he had been through, the one shining light would’ve been getting the opportunity to spend more time with Lilith. Be able to get to know her more, beyond the friendship they’d had on Persephone. Then again, he was already close to ruining their friendship six months ago. He wasn’t sure he would be able to keep those feelings down after everything. After the last time on Persephone, Alex had been practically forced to be a little more introspective and think about what he really wanted in life. As much as he’d loved his time on Themis and was grateful for all it had done for him, he had decided it was time to stop telling himself that it was the life he wanted. He wanted to go back home. He wanted to carve a life out for himself. Something permanent. Maybe even find a girl to settle down with, have a family of his own. He had told Captain Blackwell that he would be leaving the next time they stopped on Oberon, which had only been a month away when Themis had exploded. Now he had no idea how long it would take to get back home. He’d never expected to see Lilith ever again. “You know why, Lil. I lied to you. We can’t just ignore that. And I don’t know how sorry I can be about it to be honest.” He would probably make the same decision given the chance, and he wasn’t going to apologize for something he wasn’t truly sorry for.

There was at least some relief in hearing that he didn't want to not see her. Though she couldn't really fault him for thinking it necessary to put out there. As far as everyone else was concerned, the two of them stood on opposite sides of a line clearly drawn in the sand. But in Lilith's mind, at least, any lines between them had been muddled for awhile, and even more so at the surge of elation mixed with relief that flooded out all other feelings at the sight of him. Anything between them had always felt impossible, but once Lilith had submitted her transfer request, she had started to seriously think on her future. She would always love Orion, but she didn't want to take his orders anymore. She didn't want to take anyone's orders. No one else - not even Orion - had been privy to her thoughts. But once her current contract ran out in a year, Lilith had decided she was done with the military. She didn't fool herself into thinking that meant something with Alex, who may well have been long gone by then, or might not have cared to wait around for a maybe. But she had hoped it would mean something better for her future. That she could find someone who made her feel the same way he did. She was pulled from her thoughts by his statements, her face screwing up at the jumble of emotions they caused. Yes, he had lied to her and she was upset, but at the same time she wasn't stupid. Had he told her he worked with former Browncoats, she could have gotten past it. But if he had mentioned his captain… Even Lilith didn't know if they would have talked ever again, nor would she lie and say she would have gotten over it. "I know that. And I'm not thrilled about it, obviously, but I also get why you did it. I don't expect you to be sorry. But I also didn't expect that you would assume it would mean I'd give you the brush off…" 

[lilith-among-the-stars]

aleksanderwilsons​:

Of all the reactions Alex had expected, silence was the one he knew how to handle the least. He was desperate for a reaction, any reaction. It wasn’t as if he had told her anything special, at least he hadn’t thought so. It had been the first thing to come to his mind that hadn’t sounded stupid, but apparently he had been wrong. Things only got worse as she pulled away, clearly trying to rein in whatever emotions were threatening to spill over. All other feelings besides confusions subsided. He had no idea what the hell she was talking about. “What? Break up with you?” He truly had no idea what to think about her question. Almost anything else would’ve made more sense to him. How she had made the leap from his comment to somehow breaking up with her, he didn’t know. Of course they had slept together a few times, but it had never been anything more. Not really. His last visit to Persephone had caused the line between platonic and romantic to blur more than it ever had, but not so blurry that the line wasn’t technically there. They’d had a whole conversation about relationships, where Alex had made it clear he didn’t want anything serious with anyone while he was still on Themis. She might be the closest thing he had to a girlfriend, but she wasn’t. That wasn’t a question. There wasn’t anything to break up, not to mention the fact that it had been half a year since he’d last seen her. Their friendship had been nice because of the fact that they could pick up where they had left off no matter how long the time in between visits was. Alex wasn’t the kind of guy who would let something like that fly with a girlfriend, though. No matter what had happened last time, there was still a clear distinction. “I was trying to give you a way out without having to feel guilty. I’m not going to be the one to break things off. It’s not like I want to lose you, but I’m telling you that there are no hard feelings if you want us to… give each other some space.”

Great. He sounded like he thought she was just as stupid as she felt in asking the question. But what other logical conclusion was she meant to come to? Lilith shook her head mutely at the way he phrased it, her nails biting into her palms with her own frustration with herself. “I don’t mean break up break up… I know we weren’t together-- aren’t together, but it sounded like you just didn’t want to see me anymore. Like you were calling it quits on whatever it is we did have.” The thought of which only made this whole situation feel that much worse. Bad enough that she was angry with Orion and feeling bad for him all at the same time. The guilt that was coiled in the pit of her stomach wasn’t something she thought would go away anytime soon. Seeing the crew of the Themis every day would be a different kind of torment, knowing it was partly her fault that they’d ended up here. Thus far, the only silver lining she’d seen to all of this was that she would possibly get to spend time with Alex and get to truly know him. Now she was afraid even that was going up in flames before her eyes. As soon as Alex started talking again, trying on his own to clarify what he meant, her eyebrows went up in surprise. “Why would I want an out?” Lilith shook her head, her face a portrait of confusion and worry. “Do you have any idea how I felt seeing you come off of that ship? Pretty much the only good thing that’s come out of this whole shit storm was seeing you walking through the doors, alive. Was I expecting you to show up? Hell no. And honestly I wish it hadn’t been  your ship. Your crew. I’d go back and fix it all if I could… but if there’s anyone I could choose to have by my side through all of this, other than my brother? It’d be you.”

[lilith-among-the-stars]

Anna Kendrick

[lilith-among-the-stars]

aleksanderwilsons​:

Neither of them pulled away for the time being. Alex wondered what she was thinking about, but refrained from speaking. The silence was comfortable and he didn’t want to change the rare moment of peace they had. Neither knew when they would get another one. Though the future was more uncertain than it had ever been, at least he had this moment. For all he knew Lilith had offered her help as one last favor to him before they decided to part ways. He wasn’t sure if he regretted lying to her or not, but he could imagine she wasn’t happy about the fact. It wasn’t as if he’d had no reason to lie. It was perfectly reasonable to assume they never would’ve become friends if he had told her the whole truth from the beginning. Surely she knew that. Whatever happened in the future between them, he wanted her to know he had no anger towards whatever she chose. Even if she still wanted to be friends, things were going to change between them. Alex didn’t know how easily he would be able to return to his old self while on Virtus. He had no idea how the Captain was going to treat the Themis crew, not to mention if Lilith was going to be there the whole time. If she decided to cut him off, he was almost positive he would be miserable for the entirety of the time he was stuck on the ship. Of course he was eternally grateful that Cass was okay, but he didn’t think that would be able to make up for all that had happened. “Lilith, I-” he paused from stroking her hair, debating if he should say anything or not. “I want you to know that no matter what happens between us, I don’t blame you for any of it, okay? Even if things are never the same between us. Our time together meant - means - a lot to me and that’s not going to change.” She was still Lilith. She wasn’t the one who had lied. She was still the amazing, kind, funny person he had met on Persephone all those years ago. He would understand whatever she decided.

It was nice, having the chance to just stand still like that for awhile; to have the comfort of one another while everything else was falling apart around them. Even if they, too, fell apart in the end, Lilith would remember this moment. There was so much else that still needed discussing, though she knew some of it would be a moot point if he decided he didn’t want to deal with her after everything that’d happened. It would be hard, being stuck on the same ship for God only knew how long, but if he chose to cut ties with her, she would find a way to give him space. This time it was her turn to stiffen slightly when Alex broke the silence, her brain immediately jumping to the worst possible conclusions that made her arms tighten around him just a little more. With her breath caught in her throat, she listened as he spoke, her brow furrowing the more he did. She knew that things between them would be changing one way or another, and he had to have realized that as well, but the way he was phrasing it… There was more silence for several moments after he spoke, Lilith struggling to make sense of his words in any way other than the most likely one. Finally, she pulled back and dropped her arms to her sides, struggling to keep a neutral face and failing, small hands clenching and unclenching into fists as she tried to hold her emotions in check. “Are you-- are you breaking up with me?” Granted, they hadn’t ever been anything official, but after his last visit to Persephone it had been even harder to get him out of her mind than ever. Impossible, in fact. And maybe deep down she had hoped that he felt the same. Which, now that she thought about, was foolish to even consider in the grand scheme of all that had happened over the last few hours. He had more important things to think about, she was sure. 

[lilith-among-the-stars]

aleksanderwilsons​:

He hadn’t thought much about what Lilith had thought about the future before they had been together. Their time together had been the few years of his life he hadn’t been sure what the hell he was doing. Traveling on the Themis long-term wasn’t something he had ever truly planned on doing. It didn’t help that he was getting older and felt like the clock was ticking to settle down. He wanted to have a family sooner rather than later, watch his kids grow up and be their for their kids as well. “Mm,” he hummed in understanding, propping his head up with his arm so he could look at her fully. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to settle down somewhere, just like there wouldn’t be anything wrong with staying on the Virtus. You gotta do what makes you happy. Though maybe I’m not one to talk since I’m still not sure what I was thinking being on the Themis so long. I guess part of me got so used to it it didn’t occur to me I should go back home. I knew that traveling was the only was I was going to see new things.” There wasn’t anyone on his home planet that he wanted to settle down with, and he hated the idea of settling for a partner simply because he couldn’t find anyone else. Perhaps part of him had somehow hoped he would find some perfect woman on his travels. As amazing and incredible as Lilith was, he didn’t know if he could ask her to move all the way out to his home planet with him.

“I’m not losing hope, and I know he will.” Alex could say a lot more than that, but he hated talking about Orion and the situation at hand with Lilith. He wasn’t sure who to blame in the grand scheme of things. Orion, Ophelia, the Alliance. They were all at fault in some way, probably. It was the easiest to put his effort into blaming Orion. He didn’t want to lose his trust and respect in Ophelia, and the Alliance was just an entity. Orion was one person. Alex was torn about it; part of him wanted to try to care about Orion because Lilith cared about him, but another part of him needed something to be bitter about. Not that the situation was the only thing to be bitter about when it came to Orion. Alex considered himself central when it came to the conflict between the Browncoats and Alliance, but he couldn’t deny he was more wary of Alliance extremists more than he was Browncoat extremists. He kissed Lilith’s forehead. “I know you will. It’s not about what people are and aren’t willing to do. Of course I want to get home as much as anyone else, but I can’t automatically assume that’s what’s going to happen. I have to think about a plan in case Cass and I don’t get to go home again.”

"I didn't know what would make me happy, if I'm being honest. All I knew was that I wasn't happy with the life I had. I figured getting off the Virtus and settling down somewhere would be a good start, cause at least I wouldn't have to give up flying." That thought had been an impossible one back then. Now though, after everything they'd gone through and all the doubts she had... Maybe not flying wouldn't be such a bad thing. Surely she could find something else she was good at. Lil understood exactly what Alex was saying though. It was all too easy to fall into a habit which then became a rut. It probably didn't help that he had been with his sister most of that time, thus having a feeling of belonging no matter where he went. Reaching up to brush a few stray hairs from his forehead, she let her fingers glide down Alex's cheek as she studied him for a moment. "Is home where you grew up? Is that where you want to settle down?" They'd never really talked this in depth about the future before, and she was curious to know what he thought. They might still have a long way to go before it even mattered what they wanted, but with the way her feelings were running towards the man, Lilith felt like she actually needed to know what he wanted for his future.

It was enough to get that much agreement out of him. For the most part, they avoided talking about their respective captains. It was impossible for Lilith to hide her distaste for Ophelia, but she wasn't going to rage about the woman to Alex. He cared for his captain, and if nothing else, Lilith cared about him enough to respect that. She hummed at his confirmation of his belief in her, but with the way he phrased his worries, Lilith wondered if she factored into his plan at all. "That makes sense. It's better to be prepared for whatever might happen," she murmured, dropping her hand back to her side.

[lilith-among-the-stars]

aleksanderwilsons​:

The single bed made it so Alex and Lilith had to curl up together in order for them to both fit, not that either was complaining. Despite the no-sex rule Orion had placed, it was common knowledge most people were sneaking around with others under the radar. It was normal for roommates to ask for some alone time in order to have some privacy. These favors were usually granted; some nights it was impossible to know how many people were in their own assigned rooms. It helped that Alex had set up his own roommate with a friend from the Themis, so both men were happy to give the other their space when need be.

“Course I do. That’s always what my mind is gonna go to, probably.” Alex had always been someone who thought about the future a lot. Ever since he was a child he knew what he wanted, at least in some capacity. Leaving his home planet had thrown a wrench into things, but he still wanted most of the things he had always dreamed of. Settling down with someone he loved, a house, a family. It was more difficult to think about now that he had no idea if any of it would happen. “Oh? What did you think about before? When you were trying to permission to leave the ship?” While he and Lilith were more serious now, they hadn’t talked much about a future or what they wanted. “Definitely makes sense. I feel the same way,” he said, pausing while he shifted and placed his hand on the dip of her waist. “We don’t know that’s gonna happen. There’s that part of me that wants to ignore so much of what’s going on on the ship, tell myself that we will make it back home. I don’t know if I’m ready to think about a future where I never get to see my family again.” The only thing that made his time bearable was Cass and Lilith.

It was reassuring to know that Alex understood what she was saying, although his answer didn't really surprise her. Even though he'd told her he hadn't had many plans beyond flying on Themis for awhile, he'd always seemed like the type to think of the future or the next step forward. Even though she knew Alex couldn't see her very well, she still lifted her shoulders in a shrug at his question, struggling to put her answer into a coherent thought. "As weird as it seems, it was kind of thanks to you that I started thinking anything about the future. I knew that I was starting to feel more than casual feelings towards you, but that just made me realize that I would never be able to have any kind of steady, stable relationship with anyone if I was always flying off on months long missions. I thought that maybe I could get something more... I dunno, local? I guess? I could still fly, but I would actually be able to settle down somewhere. Finally have some sort of roots in my life." She loved Orion, but she knew that she couldn't rely on him forever. "It probably seemed like a spur of the moment decision when I turned in my paperwork, but it wasn't." Lil sighted softly when Alex shifted and spoke again, moving with him so they were able to face each other. "So don't. There's no reason to give up hope. I don't know a whole lot about the situation beyond what I've shared with you, but the one thing I do know is that Orion will bend over backwards to get us all home." Perhaps no one else knew how heavily this all weighed on her brother, but Lilith could see it in his eyes every time she looked at him, which only made her own guilt intensify. At times it felt like it was eating her from the inside out, but not when she was with Alex. He made her feel light and happy, even when things felt darkest. "I believe you'll see your family again. I know Orion is doing what he can, but I will do everything in my power to make sure it happens, too," she assured him. She might not be the brightest person on the ship, and her confidence in her abilities might still be shaken, but she would do whatever she could as the head pilot to get them home. For everyone on board, but especially for Alex.

[lilith-among-the-stars]

aleksanderwilsons​:

Seeing her swipe at her eyes only made him feel worse, but he chose not to comment on it. Lord knows they all needed a good cry at the moment. Just because he had gone through worse in the past few hours didn’t make her own feelings any less valid. “I know,” he whispered. It felt like he was never going to know what to say to her ever again. At least she was being honest with him. They both knew any other answer would’ve been a lie. He couldn’t help but stiffen slightly as he felt her wrap her arms around him in tight hug, surprised by the unexpected touch. Not to mention how dirty he was. Still, it only took him a second to relax under her touch, putting his arms around her shoulders in return as he hugged her back. Tears threatened to spill over. It wasn’t intimate, exactly, but it comforted him in a way he hadn’t expected. The unsaid feelings left between them from their last visit would take God knew how long to make themselves known again. Not when so much else had happened. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault. We’re okay.” They were here and and alive and he wasn’t going to take that for granted. Both of them had done everything they possibly could to keep everyone safe. Sometimes it wasn’t enough, but Alex wanted her to know that he wasn’t angry with her even if he was angry with everything else. If she was angry with him for lying, he assumed she would wait until later to bring it up. It felt like a minuscule detail in the grand scheme of things with Themis gone. He gently rested his head on top of hers, stroking her soft hair and hoping that somehow they would be able to make it through this.

Lilith felt his body stiffen against her, and she would have immediately moved away except his arms suddenly came up around her shoulders, preventing her from moving. It was a surprise, because considering how angry he seemed, she had fully expected Alex to push her away from him rather than draw her in. The words he meant to soothe her with only made her stomach churn with guilt and anxiety; how could he think she wasn't to blame when she'd been the pilot of the ship? As for them being okay, this was the furthest from okay she'd ever seen Alex. Not that they tended to see each other during emotionally trying times, but it was still a difficult sight to get used to and Lilith wasn't sure she'd ever get to see him okay again. It wasn't likely he'd feel okay while on the Virtus. Even though Lilith knew deep down that there was nothing anyone could do that would make Orion kick anyone off of this ship, would the other crew feel like prisoners? Would they bear resentment against the Alliance members? How could they not? And as much as she might not want to admit it, Alex fell into those parameters as well. There was no guarantee that things would ever be the same between them. Lilith almost laughed at the absurdity of the thought, the sound coming out as a strange noise between a snort and a sob. Of course things would never be the same. How could they? Feeling his hand on her hair and the weight of his head resting against hers, it took everything in Lilith not to break down then and there, swallowing back the tears as a lump in her throat. When had these tables turned? Yes, she had needed the hug, but this had started as an effort on Lilith's part to make Alex feel better. Now they were comforting each other, which honestly wasn't at all what she'd expected. 

[lilith-among-the-stars]

@captain-orionqueen

humanitysxsins:

                                             SIBLING CODE

Im allowed to pick on my sibling, but if you so much as look at them                                  wrong I will unscrew your freaking head. 

                                                fight me bitch

[lilith-among-the-stars]

aleksanderwilsons​:

The tone of her voice made him instantly regret the question. None of this was Lilith’s fault. She’d done nothing wrong, in fact going out of her way to help him while all he’d to to repay her was be a jackass. Just because he was angry and sad didn’t mean she deserved to bare the brunt of it. He stood up as she was about to walk out of the room, catching her by the wrist. He wondered if she had felt the change between them the last time they’d been together. A change he hadn’t wanted but had been there nonetheless. Once on Themis again he’d thought about the way her body felt against his while they danced, the way she laughed and smiled at things he said, the way she’d been completely and utterly his for those precious 48 hours. And now she was here watching him during some of the worst hours of his life. “Wait, Lilith.” He got her attention and looked her straight in the eyes. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m just… processing everything still. You didn’t bother me.” All she had wanted to do was help. “Um. Are you doing alright?” He asked awkwardly, not sure what else to say. There was too much to say and none of it felt right. Not right after all that had just happened. Should they talk about their feelings? Alex wasn’t ready for that. Not when he’d not even processed things. What did one talk about after something like this? Lilith could offer all the condolences she wanted, it wasn’t going to change anything. At the same time, he wasn’t sure he wanted to leave her quite yet. Maybe she would mention the fact that he had lied to her the whole time.

The feeling of his hand on her wrist honestly wasn’t something she’d been expecting, and she swiped hastily at her eyes before turning around to meet his gaze. She stayed quiet while he spoke, struggling to keep her own emotions in check. Of course she anticipated him needing to process things for awhile. Hell, she needed time to process still, and in comparison she hadn’t gone through nearly as much as he had. She was a little shocked when he turned around and asked how she was, the question catching her off guard so that she stared at him blankly for a moment before answering. “Not good.” It was an honest answer, if blunt. “Sorry, it’s just. It’s a lot.” Having all these people on the ship - knowing that Orion was in the conference room, alone, with her. Having Alex in front of her and realizing he’d been on a fugitive ship. Where did she even begin? Where could she begin? She felt horrible for everything he’d been through, but no matter how many time she said she was sorry it wouldn’t fix anything. She’d still followed orders when her gut told her not to. He had lost God only knew who and what in the explosion, and then he had to deal with her hauling him off with little to no information to even offer. It was no wonder he was upset with her and honestly? She didn’t blame him even a little bit. “I’m just really sorry, Alex.” Trying not to second guess herself too much and hoping he needed it just as much as she did, Lilith wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly.

[lilith-among-the-stars]

Where: Alex’s quarters Who: @aleksanderwilsons​

With a sigh of contentment and pleasure all rolled into one, Lilith rolled off of Alex and curled up against his side, the two of them taking a few moments to catch their breath. While neither one of them had a large bed, it wasn't like it was a hardship for her to be pressed up against Alex's side to keep both of them comfortably on his mattress. Her head rested against his chest, allowing her to listen to his heart rate slow down as she let her arm drape over his midsection. Perhaps it had to do with her age, or maybe it was the fact that it was Alex lying next to her, but it was impossible not to think about how nice it would be if they could be together every night, without a care as to who knew about them. Preferably not lost in space, but at this point that almost felt like an improbability.  

"Do you ever just sit back and think about the future? Like, what you want to do if... when we make it home?" Orion had already broken the news to the crew that they might not make it home anytime soon, but Lil was trying to stay positive in her outlook. Sure, she had a few friends she would miss, but most of the people she cared about were on this very ship with her. Alex, on the other hand, aside from his sister, had his entire family back home. Lilith couldn't quite relate to the pain and loss he experienced thinking of them, but she was doing her best to try and understand. "I used to never think about it until a couple months before this mission started. Then I couldn't stop thinking about it. Now though - it's like I don't know whether I should think about it. Does that make any sense?" she questioned, craning her neck to look upwards at Alex's face. 

[lilith-among-the-stars]

aleksanderwilsons​:

To his surprise, Lilith pressed her lips against his for a split second before standing back down. Alex immediately looked over his shoulder around the room to make sure no one had seen the kiss. “Lil,” he admonished, not understanding why she had made such an odd decision. “We have to stay discreet. Unless you greet all your friends like that?” Alex hadn’t thought about the prospect of making their relationship public. It seemed like such an impossible thought at the moment. Over time he was sure some other Themis member would start getting more than friendly with a Virtus, but at the moment he had no reason to believe they weren’t the only ones mingling around in such a way. He ran his hand down her arm before their fingers linked together. It was kind of exciting, sneaking around and being discreet. Testing the limits before someone found out about them. “Oh, very jealous. She’s amazing. Sweet, and smart, and gorgeous. Fun to be around. I think about her all the time. I don’t know what I’d do without her, honestly,” he smiled. Yes, it might be the cheesiest thing he had ever said, but if Lilith liked it that was all that mattered.

She let out another chuckle, shaking her head immediately and giving his hand a squeeze. “Of course I don’t. Sorry, I’m just excited to spend time with you in front of other people. I promise I’ll be more discreet from here on out.” Not that she really was sorry, but she could at least pretend to be contrite. They hadn’t talked about going public with their relationship yet, and the only person that seemed to have a clue that something was up was her room mate, and Lilith was pretty sure the woman only kept it to herself because of Alex. Still, the smile that graced his face was worth the risk. Alex’s smile had always been one of her favorite things about him; it could transform his entire demeanor in just one move, and selfishly, Lil loved being the reason for some of his smiles. “Wow... sounds like a tough act to beat,” she pouted, only able to keep the saddened look on her face for a moment before she was smiling up at him again. It was too difficult to be upset around Alex, because even with everything else going on, he gave her a positive focal point. “Guess I’ll just have to work that much harder to keep your attention on me, huh.”

[lilith-among-the-stars]

aleksanderwilsons​:

The party was going about as well as Alex had hoped. That was to say, almost no inter-crew mingling was happening. Not that he cared enough to do anything about it. Then again, maybe if he took a lead it would get him some brownie points with the captain. At the very least there was one Virtus crew member he was more than happy to spend time with.

“Hey, stranger,” he smiled when he saw Lilith and went up to her. The party meant they could spend some time together in public and no one was raise an eyebrow as long as they kept it on the down low. “I have to say, I’m starting the think this whole crew-mixing isn’t such a bad idea. There’s at least one Virtus member I think I’d like to get to know better.” 

@lilith-among-the-stars​

As much as she still had her suspicions (and one obvious complete dislike) about a lot of the Themis crew-members, Lilith had been trying to get along with the ones she worked with or encountered frequently. Not just for Orion’s sake, but for Alex’s as well. So she was trying to mingle with people from the Themis that she hadn’t interacted with much, but most of them were just as thrilled by the idea as her own crewmates; which was to say not at all. Mostly Lilith felt bad for all the pressure Orion was under and the fact that thus far the mixer seemed like a flop. 

Thankfully as she went to stand off to the side, a distraction came in the form of Alex sidling up next to her. Perhaps with as many people around as there were around them, Lilith should be a little more discreet, but honestly she felt like she hadn’t gotten to see Alex much for the last few days and now that they had decided to make some sort of go with whatever they had in between them, she found herself wanting to be around him more frequently. She let out a chuckle at his words, turning to him and leaning up on her tiptoes to plant a brief kiss on his lips. “Hmm, that so. Anyone I should be jealous of?” Lilith teased, linking her fingers through Alex’s with a grin.

[lilith-among-the-stars]

captain-orionqueen‌:

The moment Orion lifted his gaze towards his friend; he could feel the tightness in his chest, the singe of guilt coursing through his body.  Not only did he have the burden of the entire ship on his shoulders, he also had a guilty conscious when it came to his best friend.  Some part of him wanted to confess right then and there that he was the reason she was now stuck on the ship for now and the seeable future.  Yet, as a leader and someone who needed to maintain a certain level of order he tucked that away along with some other things.

Orion nodded, “It is not good.”  Whether she knew it, the moment they realized they were not in their corner of space anymore he started looking at the charts, doing the logistics of how to get them home.  And well, the findings were grim.  How was he to tell the crew by the math they would not be reaching home for decades? Some of them may not even be alive by the time they reach home.  He needed people to focus, he needed to give them a glimmer of hope but as of right now, he did not see any.  A course of action needed to be put in place, but right now he needed everyone to settle down first from the events.

“I understand people are scared, but I need you to help ensure everyone things are going to be okay.  The crew looks up to you and I know it is a lot to ask, but I need you to maintain a positive attitude about the situation.  Because I am going to be honest with you Lilith, I did the calculations and most of us won’t be alive by the time we make it home, unless we find shortcuts, technology to help boost our ship, something that will help.  You are my right hand woman, you have been for years.  I need your help running this ship properly.  Do you think you are able to handle everything I am about to ask of you?”

An odd looked crossed Orion’s face - one that she couldn’t quite put a single emotion to, but it was definitely a bad one. Was it disappointment? Her heart sank to her stomach at the thought, wondering if Orion was wishing he’d had a different pilot at the helm; if maybe he thought it was her fault, too. On one hand, she wanted to ask him, just to get it out there and over with - but after everything had gone down with Alex in that supply closet, Lilith didn’t think she could handle hearing her brother say the words out loud. 

She sucked in a deep breath at his words; ‘not good’ felt like a bit of an understatement, but she knew Orion was well aware of that. As troubled as the Captain looked though, she gave him space to let him work through his thoughts, even if she was impatient to hear what, if anything, he’d figured out. Hearing he needed her, Lil automatically sat up straighter, that desire to be useful and to do whatever she could to care for him lifting her chin up slightly, giving her the appearance of almost sitting at attention. At least until his next words took the winds right out of her sails, her body slumping and her head falling into her hands for a moment as she beared the shock. Shit. That long? It didn’t really matter much to Lilith, whose only family was on this very ship with her... and she had Alex, but-- her heart went out to Alex, realizing that he might never get to see his family again. God. How could she tell him? After the moment passed, Lilith raised her head with her jaw clenched, a determined glint in her eyes. “You know I’ll do anything for you, Orion. Just tell me what you need me to do.”

[lilith-among-the-stars]

aleksanderwilsons‌:

Alex knew he sounded bitter and angry, but he couldn’t help it. His entire life had just been turned upside down and now Lilith was there to make things even more confusing for him. Part of him wanted to walk away, not let her see him so angry and vulnerable, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Not without hearing what she had to say first. Hopefully it wouldn’t be to chew him out for having lied to her, which would only make everything worse. Thankfully she confirmed that she wasn’t taking him to the med bay, instead leading him into a supply room free of any other being. “Okay,” he nodded, letting go of some of the bitterness and hostility. At least for the moment. He hesitantly sat down in front of her, allowing her to clean the wounds as best she could. They would probably still need stitches, but at least they wouldn’t get infected while he waited for the doctors to attend to him. He didn’t meet Lilith’s eyes the entire time, letting silence fill the room. There were so many questions he wanted to ask. What was on her mind mostly. If she was angry that he had lied to her. How the hell he was supposed to get through this. She gave him the opening - he could ask any questions he had, but his mind went blank. “I’m fine. Only those few cuts,” he said tersely. Suddenly he felt hyper aware of his appearance. While he’d never been overly concerned about his looks, he knew he had to be a mess. Covered in grease as he’d tried to make last ditch efforts to save the ship, his hair flying every which way, and the bloody gash across his cheekbone. Not the way he had wanted to look when they reunited. He sighed, trying to gather his thoughts. “I don’t know. No amount of information is going to change what happened.” Themis was gone. Nothing was going to change that. “Is there something you want from me?” He had no idea why she had pulled him out of the mess hall. It couldn’t just be to clean his wounds, could it? She had to be busy with so many other things.

She nodded her head slowly when he assured her that those were his only wounds. Lilith had known she was in trouble the last time they had parted ways. Before then it had always felt easier. A general see you next time and that was that. This time she had lingered until his ship had left, watching it until it was so far up in the atmos that the sun obscured her vision of it. She had wondered if there was even the slightest chance that Alex felt the same, but now… She swallowed thickly, trying to drown out her own emotions at his reply. It was true, nothing was going to change their current fate, but she had hoped to at least be able to ease his mind if nothing else. Anything to make him feel better, as if that was possible. He still hadn’t looked at her, which was bad enough, but when he asked what she wanted with him she physically flinched at the question, as though he had smacked her. It took her several moments to pull herself together enough to answer him, and even then her voice was shaky. “I know it won’t, and I’m sorry… I can only imagine what you’ve been through. But Alex, I just… I only wanted to see you, to make sure you were okay.” Finally she dropped her own gaze to their hands, figuring that he wasn’t going to look at her now anyway. “I just wanted to help.” Rising to her feet suddenly, she released his hands and moved to the door. “That was all. But I understand if you’d rather go be with your crew. I’m sorry if I bothered you,” she finished in a murmur, clenching her jaw as she felt tears forming in her eyes.

[lilith-among-the-stars]