light-headed-03

[light-headed-03]

3rd/4th grade

In my opinion, 3rd grade was my least problematic grade ever. Other than playing multiple sport at a time, there was nothing that really happened this year. However, fourth grade really made up for this. I made lots of new friends finally but was struggling with putting focus towards school and not just sports and art. Don't get me wrong, I was a super smart kid. But actually getting me to do my homework was a whole other task entirely. This is around the time my sister (she was in 6th grade) and mom started fighting. It was always over something stupid and never lasted very long before they were fine again. My mom was a full time teacher 45 minutes from home and also taught aca deca (idk if that's spelled right lol) so she wasn't very present during the school year. My sister basically brags that she "raised" us because she would cook us spaghetti like once a week. It still makes me mad to this day because she thought she was doing everything for us when in reality we were all on our own. Then one day I got a splinter in my eye. And my parents had decided that I was fine and just overreacting and could definitely still do fine at soccer practice. So I laid in the back of the car, eye closed, crying the whole way to practice (an hour away) because I was in pain. It took them that long plus me refusing to get out of the car before they believed me and called the doctor. So we go to the doctor in the morning and he's absolutely pissed that my parents took so long to get me in to see him and that it could have caused permanent damage. So he put some goop in my eye, told me to wear sunglasses for a week, gave me pain meds, and apologized for my parents not bringing me in sooner.

[light-headed-03]

2nd Grade

I grew up next to my childhood best friend. And by "next to," I mean we lived in the country and she was the closest thing I had to a neighbor. She was born 362 days after me, so we were both May Gemini babies. When my parents decided to transfer me to a different school, I was heartbroken. I had an incredibly hard time wanting to go to school anymore, and this was when my depression started to take its full effect. As the year went on, I made some friends, but then both of my childhood dogs died, one of old age and the other from choking his tie out because he kept eating farm birds. This made my depression even worse, especially when combined with my seasonal depression. At the time, I was participating in travel soccer and softball, so school came second to those activities. Well, spring came around and I was playing tag with my brother on the middle school playground. He slammed my hand against a pole, which I instinctively grabbed onto, swung around with full force, and smashed my head into another pole. I'm almost positive this is exactly what happened, but this was also 10+ years ago and I was a child, so who knows. My mother was a para at the time, so being the small child that I was, I ran into the school bawling and holding my head. Little did I know that there was a goose egg and massive bruise that came along with the severe pain. My mother just gave me an ice pack and took me home. The next day at school, I ended up extremely dizzy and nauseous, and on the way out of the classroom to the nurses office, I lost my balance and the heavy wooden door smashed my head into the metal trim. Come to find out later that day at the doctor, I had received a 3rd degree concussion on the playground and a 2nd degree from the door. At the doctor, I also found out I wasn't allowed to do any sports, running, or PE, and no video games (my dad is a computer science professor), so I was devastated. I was still allowed to read, though. I'm almost positive that's why I am in love with books now. The following month was terrible, especially for an eight-year-old with ADHD. As soon as I was cleared for sports, I got right back into softball and ended up with a concussion not even two days later. So I was out for another three weeks. I don't remember how that one happened. Whoops.

[light-headed-03]

I was born in BFE Nebraska. My family consisted of generations of farmers, teachers and an accountant. Growing up on a farm was normal and boring for Nebraska. I think the earliest memory I have is "drawing" on a school bus seat with an eraser (you know because it leaves a trail of residue) and getting in trouble for it because you're not supposed to draw on school buses. I thought that was stupid because it didn't do anything to the seats but what could you do. I also "married" my daycare boyfriend, got a w-wire/retainer and somehow popped it out during school, and decided it was a great idea to pull my two front teeth out during school. Later that year, my parents decided that the school I was going to wasn't up to their educational standards and forced me to transfer. And on the very last day I was going to be there I had my "best friend" give my crush a letter confessing my undying love for him. One of my friends found that note in the trash and ended up dating him the next year. Granted this was second grade so can't really consider it dating but I still consider it a betrayal. And life just sort of went downhill from there. So stick around and I'll do a weekly or maybe even daily post until I catch up to the present (but that's 20 years so it could take a while.)

[light-headed-03]

3rd/4th grade

In my opinion, 3rd grade was my least problematic grade ever. Other than playing multiple sport at a time, there was nothing that really happened this year. However, fourth grade really made up for this. I made lots of new friends finally but was struggling with putting focus towards school and not just sports and art. Don't get me wrong, I was a super smart kid. But actually getting me to do my homework was a whole other task entirely. This is around the time my sister (she was in 6th grade) and mom started fighting. It was always over something stupid and never lasted very long before they were fine again. My mom was a full time teacher 45 minutes from home and also taught aca deca (idk if that's spelled right lol) so she wasn't very present during the school year. My sister basically brags that she "raised" us because she would cook us spaghetti like once a week. It still makes me mad to this day because she thought she was doing everything for us when in reality we were all on our own. Then one day I got a splinter in my eye. And my parents had decided that I was fine and just overreacting and could definitely still do fine at soccer practice. So I laid in the back of the car, eye closed, crying the whole way to practice (an hour away) because I was in pain. It took them that long plus me refusing to get out of the car before they believed me and called the doctor. So we go to the doctor in the morning and he's absolutely pissed that my parents took so long to get me in to see him and that it could have caused permanent damage. So he put some goop in my eye, told me to wear sunglasses for a week, gave me pain meds, and apologized for my parents not bringing me in sooner.

[light-headed-03]

3rd/4th grade

In my opinion, 3rd grade was my least problematic grade ever. Other than playing multiple sport at a time, there was nothing that really happened this year. However, fourth grade really made up for this. I made lots of new friends finally but was struggling with putting focus towards school and not just sports and art. Don't get me wrong, I was a super smart kid. But actually getting me to do my homework was a whole other task entirely. This is around the time my sister (she was in 6th grade) and mom started fighting. It was always over something stupid and never lasted very long before they were fine again. My mom was a full time teacher 45 minutes from home and also taught aca deca (idk if that's spelled right lol) so she wasn't very present during the school year. My sister basically brags that she "raised" us because she would cook us spaghetti like once a week. It still makes me mad to this day because she thought she was doing everything for us when in reality we were all on our own. Then one day I got a splinter in my eye. And my parents had decided that I was fine and just overreacting and could definitely still do fine at soccer practice. So I laid in the back of the car, eye closed, crying the whole way to practice (an hour away) because I was in pain. It took them that long plus me refusing to get out of the car before they believed me and called the doctor. So we go to the doctor in the morning and he's absolutely pissed that my parents took so long to get me in to see him and that it could have caused permanent damage. So he put some goop in my eye, told me to wear sunglasses for a week, gave me pain meds, and apologized for my parents not bringing me in sooner.

[light-headed-03]

[light-headed-03]

平林寺。

[light-headed-03]

Southern Interiors, 1988

[light-headed-03]

introverts at the party (via)

[light-headed-03]

Winter illuminations at Ashikaga Flower Park, Tochigi, central Japan.

[light-headed-03]

2nd Grade

I grew up next to my childhood best friend. And by "next to," I mean we lived in the country and she was the closest thing I had to a neighbor. She was born 362 days after me, so we were both May Gemini babies. When my parents decided to transfer me to a different school, I was heartbroken. I had an incredibly hard time wanting to go to school anymore, and this was when my depression started to take its full effect. As the year went on, I made some friends, but then both of my childhood dogs died, one of old age and the other from choking his tie out because he kept eating farm birds. This made my depression even worse, especially when combined with my seasonal depression. At the time, I was participating in travel soccer and softball, so school came second to those activities. Well, spring came around and I was playing tag with my brother on the middle school playground. He slammed my hand against a pole, which I instinctively grabbed onto, swung around with full force, and smashed my head into another pole. I'm almost positive this is exactly what happened, but this was also 10+ years ago and I was a child, so who knows. My mother was a para at the time, so being the small child that I was, I ran into the school bawling and holding my head. Little did I know that there was a goose egg and massive bruise that came along with the severe pain. My mother just gave me an ice pack and took me home. The next day at school, I ended up extremely dizzy and nauseous, and on the way out of the classroom to the nurses office, I lost my balance and the heavy wooden door smashed my head into the metal trim. Come to find out later that day at the doctor, I had received a 3rd degree concussion on the playground and a 2nd degree from the door. At the doctor, I also found out I wasn't allowed to do any sports, running, or PE, and no video games (my dad is a computer science professor), so I was devastated. I was still allowed to read, though. I'm almost positive that's why I am in love with books now. The following month was terrible, especially for an eight-year-old with ADHD. As soon as I was cleared for sports, I got right back into softball and ended up with a concussion not even two days later. So I was out for another three weeks. I don't remember how that one happened. Whoops.

[light-headed-03]

I was born in BFE Nebraska. My family consisted of generations of farmers, teachers and an accountant. Growing up on a farm was normal and boring for Nebraska. I think the earliest memory I have is "drawing" on a school bus seat with an eraser (you know because it leaves a trail of residue) and getting in trouble for it because you're not supposed to draw on school buses. I thought that was stupid because it didn't do anything to the seats but what could you do. I also "married" my daycare boyfriend, got a w-wire/retainer and somehow popped it out during school, and decided it was a great idea to pull my two front teeth out during school. Later that year, my parents decided that the school I was going to wasn't up to their educational standards and forced me to transfer. And on the very last day I was going to be there I had my "best friend" give my crush a letter confessing my undying love for him. One of my friends found that note in the trash and ended up dating him the next year. Granted this was second grade so can't really consider it dating but I still consider it a betrayal. And life just sort of went downhill from there. So stick around and I'll do a weekly or maybe even daily post until I catch up to the present (but that's 20 years so it could take a while.)

[light-headed-03]

2nd Grade

I grew up next to my childhood best friend. And by "next to," I mean we lived in the country and she was the closest thing I had to a neighbor. She was born 362 days after me, so we were both May Gemini babies. When my parents decided to transfer me to a different school, I was heartbroken. I had an incredibly hard time wanting to go to school anymore, and this was when my depression started to take its full effect. As the year went on, I made some friends, but then both of my childhood dogs died, one of old age and the other from choking his tie out because he kept eating farm birds. This made my depression even worse, especially when combined with my seasonal depression. At the time, I was participating in travel soccer and softball, so school came second to those activities. Well, spring came around and I was playing tag with my brother on the middle school playground. He slammed my hand against a pole, which I instinctively grabbed onto, swung around with full force, and smashed my head into another pole. I'm almost positive this is exactly what happened, but this was also 10+ years ago and I was a child, so who knows. My mother was a para at the time, so being the small child that I was, I ran into the school bawling and holding my head. Little did I know that there was a goose egg and massive bruise that came along with the severe pain. My mother just gave me an ice pack and took me home. The next day at school, I ended up extremely dizzy and nauseous, and on the way out of the classroom to the nurses office, I lost my balance and the heavy wooden door smashed my head into the metal trim. Come to find out later that day at the doctor, I had received a 3rd degree concussion on the playground and a 2nd degree from the door. At the doctor, I also found out I wasn't allowed to do any sports, running, or PE, and no video games (my dad is a computer science professor), so I was devastated. I was still allowed to read, though. I'm almost positive that's why I am in love with books now. The following month was terrible, especially for an eight-year-old with ADHD. As soon as I was cleared for sports, I got right back into softball and ended up with a concussion not even two days later. So I was out for another three weeks. I don't remember how that one happened. Whoops.

[light-headed-03]

I was born in BFE Nebraska. My family consisted of generations of farmers, teachers and an accountant. Growing up on a farm was normal and boring for Nebraska. I think the earliest memory I have is "drawing" on a school bus seat with an eraser (you know because it leaves a trail of residue) and getting in trouble for it because you're not supposed to draw on school buses. I thought that was stupid because it didn't do anything to the seats but what could you do. I also "married" my daycare boyfriend, got a w-wire/retainer and somehow popped it out during school, and decided it was a great idea to pull my two front teeth out during school. Later that year, my parents decided that the school I was going to wasn't up to their educational standards and forced me to transfer. And on the very last day I was going to be there I had my "best friend" give my crush a letter confessing my undying love for him. One of my friends found that note in the trash and ended up dating him the next year. Granted this was second grade so can't really consider it dating but I still consider it a betrayal. And life just sort of went downhill from there. So stick around and I'll do a weekly or maybe even daily post until I catch up to the present (but that's 20 years so it could take a while.)