lifevent

[lifevent]

9/12/2022 Friday 11pm

it finally clicked in my head that my best friend is ruining my mental health. one day she didnt come to school and i was disappointed because we had our only class together that day but it wasnt too bad because i could actually do my work. when i got home i was just on tiktok. one thing you should know about me is that i could be watching the funniest shit ever and i will watch it like im staring at a blank sheet of paper. so im watching tiktoks and im laughing hysterically at them. im literally shocked im brought to tears. not really but i felt them coming. then. she calls. she starts being rude to me and i just felt all that happiness slip out of me and i became a boring shell of myself

[lifevent]

ok i swear this is the last post for today. ive realised how bad my relationship is with my best friend because i started this blog after school and recapped like 3 periods worth of the day. but let me talk about my best friend once again. so i was talking about an embarrassing event that happened to me at the start of the day. so i had my sound on my laptop and i got a loud ass email from lose it. that is a weight loss app that i got so i can post it on my ano tumblr blog. so i was jus telling that how everyone turned to look at me and my email then she decides to go off at me saying thats so triggering u pretend to have a eating disorder ts so disrespectful when every u talk about tumblr it triggers me so much just say u are pretending. literally gaslighting me to say im pretending because i didnt want to tell her that i literally do have a eating disorder. sorry you dont have to be shoving ur fingers down ur throat to have e eating disorder. an eating disorder is having a very bad relationship with food to a damaging level to ur health. which i have. it truly is really hurtful when she does that like yeah she has a severe disorder but shit have u seen me ofc i have something wrong.

[lifevent]

i cant deal with my best friend anymore im seriously considering being lonely for the rest of highschool so i don't have to deal with her anymore

[lifevent]

i can do something and its embarrassing and when my friends try it and start doing it often its fine???? tell me how

[lifevent]

i fucking hate my friend so fucking much i can never get a vape because my friend just fucking fien off them and i can never get a hit because they fucking gaslight me to give it to them and when ever they have one i literally never get a hit

[lifevent]

a thing i realised when someone always makes things a competition it literally the same as making the attention to them. how tf didnt i realise this until now

[lifevent]

7/12/2022 Wednesday

today was rly something. this is my first post so something you all have to know is that i have a abusive best friend. you may ask why tf dont you leave her? like huh dont you think i would if i could. the reason why shes abusive is because she has been abused since she was a child. she has been locked in her room for days on end, not been able to eat for days, ect. shit may seem crazy but they are so rich. richer than youll ever know so the abuse is somewhat disgised by their fortune. she has been through sm and shes openly said that she doesnt know what shell do if i left her but yet she shows and sometimes tells me the complete oposite. i truely dont know what she thinks about me, if she likes me or just puts up with me because she knows if she leaves me i will not have any friends and she will feel to guilty not about me but doing that to someone. but yeah she practically black mails me every day so she can get her was and shes one of those type of people where she needs constant 24hour attention and when the attention is away from her she literally comes for your throat. yeah so during the last class we just met up and was talking. when i went back i asked her to walk back with me. and ofc she forces me to walk with her to her way so she doesnt look loney but yet i have to walk back by myself to my class. so im texting her during class and i mention how i rly tired and how my legs r rly soure. she continues to say and i quote "yeah imagine working a 7 hour shift without sitting once" i was rly taken back by this because once again she puts the attention onto her when all i wanted is for her to be like aww thats bad and then get a convosation started up because beside my legs being soure thats all i rly had to say to her. so let me explain whats problematic about her response. she has first of all quit that job because she was too tired, she gets 2 breaks during her 7 hour shift, ITS MC DONALLADS and she only worked there for like a month before she quit. so if you dont know when you work at mc donallds its a step program where you learn a new skill every week. the first week all she was doing are the fries. literally putting fries in a box. yeah thats boring for 7 hour but shes hyping it up later for it to be the worst job in the world yet she forced me to apply and get a interview there so we could work together. there r so many basic jobs that r so much harder than that and shes making it out to seem like shes on her hands and knees mopping the floor with her face. after her comment about her working 7 hours with no break which is not true i say why tf r u making it into a competion like any reasonable person out there. she responds to this saying because no one else will every experince what i did. like huh u literally made me apply and I GOT A INTERVIEW all for this bitch but idk is she being resonable. idk im ofc bias but let me know ur option on the situation and about our relationship.

bye