lifetalesfromawanderer

[lifetalesfromawanderer]

06/11/2020

Im sore AF!! I went to Orange Theory Fitness today for the first time. I might admit that I understand the hype and signed up right after class haha 

Also,  went on a 25 min walk and i’m soooo tired. I’m not attempting to read chap. 3 in my voice disorders book and also thinking to myself...If only people understood how hard I work. Sometimes I don’t know how I do it all but couldn’t imagine not doing it. Weird but whatever. There are lots of updates but once again, atm, im tired and need to complete these notes. boooo

[lifetalesfromawanderer]

“Young age, learned how to get paid (we gon' get the money)”

[lifetalesfromawanderer]

04.08.2020

Wow. It’s been almost a or maybe just about a whole month on quarantine. It hasn’t felt like that long because i’m still in school and working from home. I am enjoying the fact that I don’t have to leave the house but I am missing the coffee shops. I’ve also been able to cook more and finally made chocolate covered strawberries today! They weren’t the cutest looking but they deff were yummy.

I had therapy a few days ago but with me being such a logical person the therapist literally told me she sees nothing wrong with how I handled this particular situation. Talking with her literally, finally, made me cry when she repeated back what I told her. It hit different hearing it come out of somebody else's mouth because once again I don’t feel like I did anything wrong but try. I feel like guys I date don’t appreciate my problem solving skills. I think it’s a blessing. Like who doesn’t want a girl thats positive and sees a solution to every problem? But for once I have accepted that I can’t solve a problem when another person is involved and continuously being negative and offers 0 solution. 

In other news, WHEN IS THIS SEMESTER GOING TO BE OVVVERRRR?! literally over school. btw graduation is deff delayed *rolls eyes. 

Quarantine has been good to me overall. lost 6 pounds and saving gas and money lol focusing on me, reading more, youtube is life, and tryna get right with God again! Life is precious yalllllll and you gotta live it the best of your ability with what you have. Love youuuuu!!!

[lifetalesfromawanderer]

03.25.2020

As I sit here reflecting, I find myself giving more credit where it’s due, towards myself. I am so proud of my growth as a person. I am realizing what is healthy and what isn’t and what I will and wont put up with/ or deal with. I have boundaries and will not allow myself to suffer because I am choosing to look past them. Not happening because the most important person in my life, is me. Point. Blank. PeriodT. ( no city girls lol)

[lifetalesfromawanderer]

03.19.2020

There’s a lot going on in the world right now guys. The coronavirus is out here stopping everyone’s daily routine and rerouting us. You can play your life, days, week, but when something like corona comes around it’ll make you reassess your life. Although I am happy that we don’t have to physically go to school so that I can save major gas and I don’t have the stress of planning clinic twice a week I do miss the social interaction. This time spent quarantined at home, in my room has been exposing a lot of things. I have time to really take a look at who I am and what i’ve been doing. For the longest I have been telling myself that i’ve been doing the most but I also haven’t been giving it my all. So I gave it some thought and decided to quit subbing. That took a lot of weight off me that I did not even know I was carrying. Which leads me to my next point....I am silently suffering alone in a sense. It is not as bas as it once was but I need to open up when I am struggling. Even when I say I am I don’t think people believe me because I am the one usually helping others.

Sometimes you have to look at how people act because it can sometimes say a lot about the person without them actually saying a word. It is time for me to be a bit vulnerable even thought I think I might have shared this before...I am the way I am to other people because I don’t want anyone struggling to think they have to handle it all on their own if I can be some help. I need to stop that because sometimes they really don’t want the help they just want to vent. I need to communicate better but people just don’t get everything I am carrying. School is tough man. Clinic is tough. Work is tough. being in a relationship on top of that is tough but they are ALL worth it. It’s just all a matter of balancing it. It’s a lot going on in the world and in my life. I hate not being in control of things. I hate not being able to problem solve. I hate that we are not currently on the same page and I am afraid that we might not be. this area of uncertainty is killing me more than the actual reality of what could happen. It sucks if I’m being honest. There are many layers to me. Is it fair to other people? maybe not to males but I am trying. I hate that I shut down because people don’t know that I am a lot more sensitive than what the eye can see. I hate that I am a better writer that speak. (my receptive speech is way better than my expressive) If you ask me something on spot I get nervous to answer it lol My whole life, even now, my parents only care or cared about my academics not my life as a whole. My friends, boyfriend, events, etc does not matter. I keep trying to explain to them that there is more to me than just school. I have a whole ass life and I am almost 30 lol idk when they will understand that. I need to work on my communication but I also need my communication parter to understand that I want to change and I am a lot deeper than you can see. You gotta be patient with me unfortunately. It is worth it though, trust me. If you made it this far you’re either bored or you care. I hope this gives you more insight as me as a person and are able to apply it to our relationship! xoxo gelela 

[lifetalesfromawanderer]

02.24.20

Soooo I have been emotionally going through it but with that the positive is that I have been able to open up more and a lot more easily. Life is hard right now in the aspect of school. I didn’t do too well on a test last week and experienced anxiety attacks for about 24 hours. So thankful that i know what they feel like because I am better at getting through them and crying them out compared to 2018. My main goal/priority right now isn’t just school but i would rather focus on my personal growth. Am I growing and becoming a better person? How is my quality of life looking? My health, am I sticking to my goals, self care etc. Grades are grades but I will be brought down by a little letter. I will graduate one way or another!

[lifetalesfromawanderer]

01.27.2020

Hey there!!!!

Haven’t been here in a min but i’m back for a quick update. 

I am a different type of person and forever unapologetically, me. I like what I like and I am who I am. I finally started waking up around 6 am to be able to workout and still make it to school/work. I have been trying to achieve this for the longest cuz I was getting tired of my own excuses lol. 

Also wanted to share that I love my boyfriend. God really showed out with him so Thanks.

School is back in session and it is highkey killing me. I was just starting to find balance in my life and bam time to re add school into the mix. I am still trying to ease my way back in. Pray for me. I turned 29 a few weeks again and now i’m just trying to enjoy the rest of my 20′s even though I still feel somewhat kidish hahaha 

[lifetalesfromawanderer]

[lifetalesfromawanderer]

Hawaii January 2020

If you know me, you know how bad i’ve been wanting to go to Hawaii. Well thanks to God it finally happened this year. Amazing experience! The year just started and already accomplishing goals!

[lifetalesfromawanderer]

I love you. 

[lifetalesfromawanderer]

Happy New Year!!! Vision clear like 20/20 :)

[lifetalesfromawanderer]

“When someone is going through a storm, your silent presence is more powerful than a million, empty words.”

— Thema Davis (via minuty)

[lifetalesfromawanderer]

by Noah Sammak

[lifetalesfromawanderer]

Birthchart calculator

[lifetalesfromawanderer]

I love love, just hate the work that goes into it sometimes

me

[lifetalesfromawanderer]

October 5, 2019. An update that is long overdue.

It’s been a long time since I've been here and I've been craving writing. A lot has happened since the last time I wrote. I started grad school (claps for self lol), I got a new car, and everything else in between, whatever that means. Have you ever heard of the app The Pattern? Well lately it has been telling me that I will be feeling more social, which I Have. It’s weird but I think I need to push past my current social level. I am so used to just having myself and trying to survive things without help because that is what I am used to. I have been making it a priority to not try to do everything on my own because that is what is “normal” for me. So today my boyfriend made plans to go and hang with his friends, which he has plenty of lol Now I'm laying here trying to figure out what to do with my “free” time. Now I'm wondering if there is something wrong with me as to why I barely have friends. Don’t get me wrong I have friends but I do think it is hard for me to make friends with people who I want to be friends with on a daily basis. My friends that I love being with don’t live in the same state as me anymore, which sucks but they exist lol I have high standards of the type of people I want in my everyday life so that's where I am. I never want to settle with anything in my life ever again. I would love to have a group of friends to hang out with again but that's where I am right now, trying to figure that part out. S/o to God though because I got tickets to a women's empowerment event tomorrow! I know I am hard on myself which I need to work on. I think I'm too helpful at times which comes from barely receiving any help in my life and I never want anyone to feel that way. You can have people in your life and still feel like you have nobody who is there for you. (so many deeply rooted issues that I need to work on smh) but for now I'm still trying to work through my problems so if you have made it this far just know I am not perfect lol