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my aesthetc is lighting a cigarette on an anti-tobacco candle

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i’m sad

bye

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hey

brb going to kill myself wanna come

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I can't afford to risk anymore lmao

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Day 145375 without sex: actually hangs myself so something would choke me

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rb if you’d wipe all pedophiles off this earth

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Mood

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Do you ever just really want to vent to someone but they currently have problems and it would seem as if ur just trying to get attention and you just go to your room and play any type of music and just cry to yourself and wonder why are you such a mess of a person, cause bitch me too

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Oscar Wilde’s accent and word pronunciation written down by an audience member.

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Okay, so here’s the story about the pumpkins:

My friend got married yesterday and we missed the wedding because of work but we made it to the reception. Because its mid-September and the reception was in a nature center (awesome!) there was a little bit of a fall theme. Not overbearingly, but the tables all had these tiny pumpkins. 

So they’re cleaning up at the end of it and we’re still hanging out because we haven’t seen these people in forever and we can talk until three in the morning when we get together. All of a sudden, the Maid of Honor hands us a tiny pumpkin. 

“Take one.”

“Um… okay?”

“Take another.”

“….?”

“It is my duty as Maid of Honor to make sure that the guests leave with an uncomfortable number of tiny pumpkins.”

So it turns out that she’d gotten a bunch of them for a Halloween party last year and after the party was over her mom threw them into the compost heap thinking that would be the end of it. But what she didn’t seem to realize was that if you put pumpkins in a compost heap- it grows more pumpkins. It grows pumpkins exponentially. Serious mathematical anomaly pumpkins. 

So this year she has even more tiny pumpkins and she figured it would be a good idea to have them as decor for the reception. BUT- she would still have to throw them out at the end of the day and no matter where you throw them you are doomed to have a ridiculous amount of tiny pumpkins growing SOMEWHERE at your fault. 

So everyone left with at least two tiny pumpkins and that’s how we made friends with the Maid of Honor. 

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HALLOWEEN ASKS 🎃

ghost: have you ever seen a psychic? witch: do you believe in heaven? black cat: favorite urban legend? bats: are you superstitious? coffin: have you ever had a paranormal experience? cauldron: strangest dream (or nightmare) you’ve had? wizard: do you believe in aliens? enchanted: what fictional character scares you most? haunt: do you believe in haunted objects? spells: do you believe in magic? graveyard: do you believe any conspiracy theories? if so, which ones? potion: favorite horror movie? full moon: do you believe in reincarnation? vampire: are you afraid of death? pumpkin: do you believe in ghosts? midnight: last horror move that you’ve watched? skeleton: what is your biggest fear? crystal ball: when is a time you got caught? magic: have you had any near-death experiences? raven: favorite fairytale? ouija: have you ever played with a ouija board? fangs: favorite poem?

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This is my aesthetic now

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This is slowly becoming my aesthetic

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