life-with-no-heart-beat

[life-with-no-heart-beat]

No it’s mine now

[life-with-no-heart-beat]

WE JUST KEPT WINNING

[life-with-no-heart-beat]

THE MACHINE HERALD

[life-with-no-heart-beat]

The love in her eyes when she looks at Isha 😭

[life-with-no-heart-beat]

Imagine if the Emperor was a good dad and chose to present himself as a super tall giant so he can always Hold Sons Like Baby no matter how big they get.

Imagine him just scooping up Konrad and rocking him gently whenever he gets too rowdy

[life-with-no-heart-beat]

When it comes to Warhammer 40K, I’m constantly torn between understanding that the setting is intentionally dark and terrible because it’s intended as a satire of authoritarianism and totalitarianism yet at the same time wanting things to get better for humanity.

[life-with-no-heart-beat]

四狗议会！袭来！

[life-with-no-heart-beat]

thinking about baby primarchs.... there are probably a lot of milestones the missed/skipped but what about the things they DID do? here are some of my immediate thoughts

- they did not go through the phase of calling every animal a dog

- they pretty much skipped the whole "lifting their heads" "rolling over" "sitting up" progression. most of them didn't walk immediately but it didn't take long or a lot of effort

- a lot of them did go through a phase of killing ants with magnifying glasses or other such equivalent behaviour

- roboute had a clingy toddler phase

- dorn was that joke about a german child who doesn't speak for years and then one day just starts saying full sentences

- most of them didn't have siblings and didn't really learn how to interact with peers EXCEPT for leman, who had a tank sized wolf for a mom who would nip him if he got too rough with his siblings

- baby sanguinius crawling with his wings

- also baby sanguinius itchy from growing new feathers, writhing on the floor and crying cause his head is too big and arms too short to scratch at them

- a lot of them went through a stage of eating inedible items but, being primarchs, they actually ate them. rip the lego set

- they had teeth. quickly.

- khan definitely had to be taught the whole "touch the dog horse nicely!" thing

- also please imagine baby khan asleep in a horse's saddle bags during a move

[life-with-no-heart-beat]

I've done my research and here are the historical inspirations for the main 18 Legions, for those who want it

1. Black Angels - Arthurian knights and Gregorian monks, High to Late Middle Ages England

2. ???

3. Emperor's children - Rome during the reign of Emperor Caligula, Phoenician society, Hundred Years Knights, Thirty Years' War soldiers, Ancien régime

4. Iron Warriors - Greek warring states, the Red army

5. White Scars - Mongol Empire, Turkish tribes, Toaist principles, China during the Yuan Dynasty

6. Space Wolves - Vikings, Anglo-Saxon tribes

7. Imperial Fists - Holy Roman Empire, Inuit culture, Teutonic Knights

8. Night Lords - Terror Troops, Wallachia under Vlad Țepeș, Congo under Belgian rule

9. Blood Angels - Italy during the Renaissance, Vampire literature

10. Iron Hands - Sparta in Antiquity, Highland Scots, the Gaels

11. ???

12. World Eaters - Gladiators, Beserkers, the Revolt of Spartacus, Attack-Dogs

13. Ultramarines - the Roman Republic, Athenian democracy

14. Death guard - the Battle of Osowiec Fortress, "Attack of the Dead Men", the victims of the Black Plague and the Spanish Flu, German ww1 stormtroopers

15. Thousand Sons - Egypt during the Old Kingdom

16. Sons of Horus - Germanic Tribes, Biblical Fallen Angels

17. Word Bearers - Bronze age civilizations, Georgia during it's Golden Age, The Crusades

18. Salamanders - North African cultures, Roman mythology

19. Raven Guard - Native American cultures, The Gurkhas

20. Alpha Legion - The Order of Assassins, the CIA, Celtic + Greek cultural elements

yes <3

[life-with-no-heart-beat]

His Name.

[life-with-no-heart-beat]

So I'm listening to Fulgrim (the 5th book of the Horus Heresy, not his primarch novel) and there's just... there's just a lot going on here.

This is the only black library novel i've seen that has sex in it and I understand why it scared so many people into thinking that 40k should never even hold hands and no I'm not talking about kinky space marines but rather a scene with the world's most autistic sculptor having the worst "hey want to bone?" speech told to him by a singer character so badly written the audiobook narrator doesn't even take her seriously.

It has scenes more homoerotic than gay sex and so far none of them have involve Fulgrim himself despite the memes. Seriously, they forgot to staple on "My son/my brother" onto half of the scenes like they typically do when they realize they've written romance in Black Library's unique version of "No Homo".

I hinted to it in another post but the first time we ever see the primarch of the Iron Hands he is not just naked but oiled up only to say "you are the soothing ice to my raging fire" in the same scene.

But the thing that's frying my brain is the choice of voices the narrator did. I managed to get past fulgrim being haughty+nasally, the bombast of the HR nightmare of a singer I mentioned above, but let me point to just how sexualized Ferrus Manus is above before dropping the bombshell on you that the narrator is doing an extremely close likeness to Mark Hammil's Joker during those scenes.

This book is meandering and it's the worst of the Horus Heresy so far and probably the worst one I'll finish since I have no interest in Battle for the Abyss, but I have to finish it. It's buckwild in creative decisions and there are small bits that I find fascinating but otherwise it's just everything else that's going on with it that just... this really happened and the audiobook version also was approved like this.

[life-with-no-heart-beat]

There are two kinds of 40k books: "Space Man Shoot Bad Guys With Big Gun" and "Meditations on the dehumanizing nature of war and the futility of mutual kindness in the face of suffocating oppression and predjudice by Askaurazoth the Child Flenser"

[life-with-no-heart-beat]

If there was any moment that made me cry most, it would be this one.

[life-with-no-heart-beat]

Loyalist psykers

[life-with-no-heart-beat]

Baby Rob Sheanigans! (Aka do not try to get you prinarch son to sleep by explaining tax law to him)

[life-with-no-heart-beat]

very funny to imagine the differences in the ending bit of chapter 10

[life-with-no-heart-beat]

Edelstans: “Edelgard detractors completely miss the nuances and morally grayness of her character! Fandoms can’t handle complex characters!”

Me: Oh I agree…

Same Edelstans: *Remove all the nuances and moral grayness from Rhea and make posts about how she shouldn’t have been an ally on any routes or even that there should’ve been a golden ending where all houses team up to defeat her* Me: You know what, forget it, I can’t sympathize with you anymore