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lieutenantn · 20 days ago

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TART KISSES | Yan!Jing Yuan from “lipstick mark” collection

SUMMARY: You don’t realize what a precious thing you are, at least to Jing Yuan; and if it makes him nasty and selfish, let it be, but he doesn’t want you to get better at handling your insecurities.

contents: gender neutral reader / yandere content / stalking / angst with comfort / (some) fluff / reader is insecure / codependency / suggestive / reader has a crush on Jing Yuan / workplace mobbing / abuse of authority / reader wears makeup / word count: 7.8k

You couldn’t be sure if your accountant coworkers liked you or simply have been pitying you. They did greet you in the morning, they did thank you when you helped them with something or brought them desired food during the lunch, but… that’s it. You didn’t sniff any sense of excitement or eagerness when circling themselves near you, occasionally presented with mere “is that so?” and a polite smile when you finally have opened your mouth for longer to share an anecdote about yourself, unlike your typical willingness to only listen.

And listen has been even when stressed as they’re interrupting your work during deadline. People pleasing much? Definitely.

The pitying would be coming in bigger quantities from them constantly trying to shape you into an extroverted colleague they craved so much for all the times they wanted a gossip or brag when bored and wanted to dump it onto someone—making you look like someone surely just not confident enough and needing a shove into a right direction, ready to serve them a portion of overheard jokes everyday.

Were you shy? Not necessarily, but a person of distant interest in living anything less than slow and peaceful, scared of going above the surface of tame appearance. They tortured you further when they sent you on a task of buying a lipstick so bright you finally look confident and stand out, cruel that you were finding yourself out of the comfort zone. While you were a makeup wearer, a safest option had always felt to be anything creating a neutral palette on your face, not daring to draw any attention to your face. Apparently, there was always something in you to change; for you to carve out the skin you grew into and reshape it.

However, a glimmer of hope has sparkled within you—would your object of affection be more likely to notice you, as long as you listen to people clearly more experienced in social life? It seemed silly, having been told you should be yourself to attract someone and next breath that there’s something in you to change for others to accept.

Standing in front of the lipstick collection sold by many vendors in blinding artificial lights spreading throughout the spacious streets and giving every tired after work soul a headache, you were sweating too, despite it being a chilly evening. None of the shades made the sense, and you could sense the vendor was getting tired of you standing and not buying, suffocating the space with your misery.

Importing various brands from different planets (trading was flawless in Xianzhou Luofu, thanks to a certain social Foxian especially) should have made your goal easy to achieve. With so many variations and finishes, every single person should be able to find that perfect match…except you? You had plenty of doubts in your life, wondering why was it so simple for others to draw attention and even steal it from you when you came up with something good and just sucked at expressing it enticingly enough, but a lipstick… even a color didn’t exist for you.

Frustration turned into anxiety, anxiety into overstimulation, and overstimulation into a mental distress; forcing you to be ready to go home and try to forget about the unsuccessful shopping before you’d consider it another failure in your life. Although, then you’ll have to face possible disappointment on the faces of your colleagues, and your own disappointment at not having a chance to hopefully gain an appreciative comment from your crush.

And your crush… your ears heard, for some reason, your given name spoken so softly you momentarily felt less insane. Were you that into him you were hearing him out in the streets, calling out for you like a cheap romance lover? Yet a hand on your shoulder proven for it to be a reality instead, and the look on your face was comical when you turned around to face the devil. The devil stood in front of you, his height and broadness blocking those nasty lights to your eyes’ pleasure. But your neck hurt when you had to look up at the tall tree he was.

“I didn’t expect to run into you again, dear friend. However, a sight of you searching for new colors for cover-up might be even more surprising?” Jing Yuan, a recent curse of your life, spoke with a puppy tilt of his head, a smile warm hosting on his face.

You were screwed. Caught in such an embarrassment… just waiting until he laughs at you and all your chances are gone, if they even have existed in the first place. Unless, the touch of your shoulder meant still something positive, despite of the fact it was burning your skin even through layers.

“Ah… general Jing Yuan, it’s good to see you again,” you forced out politely. If it wasn’t for your current predicament, it’d be actually very good to see him, and you’d be ready to celebrate running into him like a virgin teenager for the rest of the week. And you’ve been running into him a lot lately, being given a lucky fortune of him striking a conversation with you almost every time—did he pity you too? Did you look lonely to others or something? You don’t remember exactly when he had started, but you remember your first (agonizing) meeting that led to your ‘friendship’.

His hand patted your shoulder, twice and twice your heart fluttered, before sadly leaving it. His golden eyes glanced at the exposition of lipsticks, not so much at the seller suddenly being nice to a customer clearly the most chased after, and then at your startled face—a curiosity sparking sight.

“Are you trying out something new?” Jing Yuan inquired, picking up one of the bullets in a random color.

“I…” You wanted to lie that it’s a gift you were searching for, not even sure why something as simple as makeup should paint you as embarrassing, but you had both no vigor of a player, or shameless sense enough to lie in his face. “My coworkers thought I’d look good in more… pronounced shade, yet I don’t think any of these shades would suit me…” you admitted nervously, scratching your cheek with a nail.

“Is that so?” the way his voice sounded so amused got you feel dread, not sure if he’s having fun at your expense or if it’s his iconic playfulness. You’d feel like moving out of Luofu should it be the first option.

“Yes…” you nodded too, lowering your gaze at your shoes.

“Would you be interested in letting me be the one to try?” The soothing balm you were served, you thought you had enough of him giving you a scare already—the relief you felt at realizing he was actually just curious was angelic.

Your head snapped upwards, nodding as someone who resigned their fate into his hands with their tail between their legs. Jing Yuan chuckled, and if your belief weren’t delusional and glorifying him with your feelings for him, it was actually a bit endearing-sounding directed at you. Oh, what a saint he was, to actually want to help you and bear with you and have patience for you. You were not used to such luxuries.

“Hm, let us see…” us, not me, “I think something more darker would suit you, as long as it’s not too pigmented… cool toned, or at least neutral…”

“General…” you had to immediately ask, voice dumbfounded, “…how do you know all of this?” He didn’t wear any lipsticks, so his case sounded confusing.

He laughed, looking at you with a sly smile, his eyes more sharp for a second you’d have to think twice if not feeling only imagined by your wishful mind. “How? Would you believe me if I told you this isn’t the first time I’ve been made to match a lipstick for someone?”

The ability for him to force you to fluctuate in your emotions killed your spirit. Matching lipsticks for others… you silly goose weren’t special, just another person he’s been helping with this. The fault was in your naive thinking this was such an intimate gesture, when a man this popular would have done it so often it was akin to breathing. You imagined how many beautiful people it was that he had helped and how many of them were doing this in flirty honor. You didn’t feel just jealousy, it was actually soul crushing.

“Something’s wrong?” he asked, noticing oddly bitter look on your face. You shook your head. “I’m just jealous,” jealous you were but for different reason, “that you seem to be an expert even bigger than me.” He laughed again, volume of voice louder this time, lighting up the streets more brightly than LED.

“Now, now. That cannot be true, your makeup always looks lovely.”

Your makeup always looks lovely.

Did you hear that? Your makeup always looks lovely.

The tightness forming in your stomach, the flutter in your chest, you’ve been turned into a dog happy to receive a praise. You really hoped it wasn’t his chivalry speaking but genuine observation as these words would be something worth printing and framing inside your mind. A praise from your crush (secretly, one—sided).

“Ah, you flatter me, general…” you chuckled off nervously, carrying joy in your voice, simultaneously smiling like a shy child. With your eyes down again, too flustered to stare him in the eye, you didn’t notice the look of his satisfaction.

“Nonsense. What I’m saying is nothing but an honest truth.” Yes! You win after the scare he’s given you.

“I would never doubt your words…” you murmured, and dared to move your head up. Jing Yuan patted your head, as if saying ‘good’. How cruel of him, to touch you twice in a row and do it willingly. That beautiful big palm, one you wished would hold your hand one day.

It was few minutes of him putting different open testers against your face with you standing in place obediently, before he finally graced you with a match you thought would never exist.

With a new color applied on your lips, a tester made sure to be sterilized for you first, your helper looked at you for a few, long seconds, not saying a word. It made you nervous—what if even this shade blessed by his hand turns out to be actually not that great?

“Lovely,” he finally said, a smile so wide and word so lovely itself they gave you another portion of butterflies.

“You think so?” You couldn’t help but ask, desperately trying to not sound eager. Please compliment me more.

“Of course. This color makes your skin glow and brings out your eyes,” he added in a mellow soothe, staring down at your lips and not the whole picture he described. What was he thinking, to be glancing here? Did he thought of kis… no, right? Not with you.

“Then…” You turned to look at the unpleasant-now-not-so-unpleasant-vendor, pulling out your wallet, “I’ll take this one, please.”

Right when you were about to give money to grabbing hands, another hand, that perfect one, got in your way. “Please let me purchase the lipstick for you,” Jing Yuan surprised you, with you not expecting another selfless gesture. And you wanted to blame it on his usual ways, spreading novelty through the city and taking care of its inhabitants, but would he really go this far for everyone? He didn’t need to spend money on you, so your heart was filled with hopes there’s more to his donation.

“But why? I can afford it…” you muttered, all flustered and unused to kindness not forced out of pity.

“Why, you ask?” he chuckled. “Because I want to get rid off of that pesky frown that has been hanging on my friend’s face for a while.”

You thought he was trying to kill you. Not only did he want to make you feel better, he also considered you an actual friend. ‘Friend’ here wasn’t a pet name. Your cheeks felt so hot you wouldn’t be surprised to see a steam coming off of them. Though you were confused to what you did to gain a title of friendship, you’d carry it with pride.

“Alright, general… I cannot be rude and reject your kindness…” you said, both happy and nervous.

“That’s the spirit.”

After he paid for you (getting a discount you wouldn’t get), he offered you the small paper bag with a smile. “Thank you, general. I’ll make sure to wear this lipstick as often as possible,” you smiled in return, feeling the best you have felt in weeks.

“Sure, and if you run out it quickly, please let me know and we’ll find another match.”

Heavens. You were being spoiled and you had to do a double take if you didn’t confuse you for someone else he liked. “Oh, come on, general, that’d be a bit too much—”

Your shoulder was heavy with his palm again. “Nothing is too much for my friend. You helped me many times too, didn’t you?” he reminded you calmly, making you think of all these times where you’d come over to his house to water his garden when he couldn’t or talked to Yanqing when communication failed with a boy being mad at his master for something and you were good at reading sensitive emotions. Jing Yuan clearly trusted you, if he wouldn’t ask for these just anyone.

“Yes… but I was just being nice.”

“So am I.”

He laughed at your grumpy face.

^ྀི

You were (forced to) being walked home as well, a safety measure, making you worry that if general had shown you so many good things today you had ran out of them for a while. Nonetheless, you eagerly engaged in conversation with him, not noticing his glances at your lips when you busied yourself with the horizon.

At the arrival at your doorstep, he made sure to put on an exaggerated sadness onto his face, provoking laughs from you.

“Goodnight, general,” you giggled, devoid of worries for once. You will sleep well tonight.

“Goodnight, friend. And please, how many more times should I have to say for you to call me just Jing Yuan?” he teased. He knew you weren’t that comfortable with referring to him by his first name, thinking you’re not close enough, but he desired for you to summon his name.

When he saw you walk into your house, he hoped you would forgive him for that lipstick mention. He was well aware it would hit you with jealousy, albeit that was his intension—he couldn’t deny himself with the precious evidence of your care for him. Your hurt hurt him, but he’ll make sure to make it up to you and clear your doubts eventually.

Or perhaps, he was revenging you for you choosing to walk around looking even more pretty after you start wearing this lipstick. He didn’t want to deny of your joy being brought with new enhancement, yet neither could he share this holiness with others.

His mind wandered to your first meeting.

A jumpy figure of nervous energy, holding a white cat trying to escape its hunter’s grasp, their signature red collar on their throat… the hunter more startled than the cat, his escape—one he’s been looking for after their little flee from his house, jumping out of the garden after a flying bird.

He felt happy that you, this anxious stranger, found his pet. You must have been worried that this cat will either scratch you (or maybe eat you), or scared of worse scenario of you never finding their owner.

“I cannot believe this culprit dares to make a fuss about being caught!” Jing Yuan moaned out in exasperation, approaching you and his companion you thankfully found before they’d get lost or hurt. And while he talked to you, his heart listened to your rambling about cats.

He’s made sure to thank you profusely that day, not just with words but followed with a gift basket sent to your office, making your colleagues gossip and soak in envy. That small event was a beginning of him running into you and making sure to strike a conversation, motivated by the good person feeling you’ve given him with the help. At first it was all accidental, curious of what more goodwill you could offer, until it wasn’t. There was something about you that enticed him to keep chasing you. Was it your innocence, unstained by the filth of the world? Was this your inability to hurt and lie, no matter how dangerous it was for you to be left with no such defense? Was it your person, trying to fight the expectations that had been put on you?

To be all honest, he didn’t care what it was about you. Not every infatuation had an explanation or bigger reason anyway. All he knew was the need to keep you safe and at the same time, need to selfishly monopolize you. Because yes, even he could be selfish. Especially he. Jing Yuan was dutiful, he strived to protect his people and nation, he included all the kindness he could when living with others simply because he wanted to.

But once he catches something worth keeping, he’s going to hoard it as if it’s his own. He grew with tendency to take in strays—children, birds, cats, lions, finally you. Stray or not, you carried your place in his heart specially strongly. Mind you, he was a lonely man too.

He wasn’t a selfless man when it came both to you and Luofu—if he had to, he’ll use others and tools to maintain the peace, in a way he can’t even be blamed for when made to look like a mutual exchange; gracefully maintaining his reputation.

He had fears on his own too, of course. Fears of losing all he loved, and a frighten of losing you. People undermined your worth, but what if one day they don’t? What if you grow wings big enough to finally make a difference? More self-centered was the fact he didn’t want you to change for better, no matter the insecurities you carried and the bullet hole they carve bigger in your soul.

^ྀི

A wave of uncertainty hit you when you entered your workplace the next day. Your friend made sure to give you a lipstick to pop up your features and not overwhelm them, but would your colleagues think so too?

You forced yourself to smile when walking into the office, given at least some resemblance confidence by yesterday’s collision with Jing Yuan.

The uncertainty was quickly turned into dooming fear when in noticing disgusted residents, drawing out confusion and panic from you. It couldn’t have been that lipstick, as even you thought it sits nicely on your lips, and it’s physically impossible for everyone to loathe it… you doubted it’s your usual paranoia either.

“Good morning…” you cut the years long silence, your words upping the ante of distaste—their heads turned away from you, whispering to each other. Through your haze on mind, the only assumption you had was that whatever they found against you, it must have been found before you came to work.

^ྀི

The unpleasantness of the atmosphere was so bad you had to leave work early, knowing you’d only mess up your tasks and get yelled at as an additional whip against your back.

Holding in your tears proved difficult too, as you barely managed pushing down the pressure against your lashes until running inside your house. Even if you had no proof it was the lipstick that turned them against you, you didn’t bother with keeping it on, wiping it away aggressively and irritating your skin with the cotton pad’s friction.

Pathetic, so so pathetic to be crying over few mean looks, of people who didn’t really care for each other either. But here you were, buried under the blankets and scrolling through phone just to distract yourself from reality.

Though, for once, it worked out in your favor—you have found a reason to why the world suddenly hated you. A photo, so hypocritically taken from hiding, of you and Jing Yuan applying a lipstick for you. Their beloved, paying attention to some random not seemed as much worthy by their ‘friends’. Of course they hate you. You received general’s attention they didn’t, even if you didn’t try to steal it from them. He had consented.

You wondered how long will it take for them to forget, or if their grudge had ruined your relationships with them forever. Were you expected to stop seeing Jing Yuan too? You didn’t want to. This one thing, you wanted to hold onto desperately, especially when not willing to risk hurting your friend.

Maybe… maybe you should call him. Let him know what’s going on. Not that he wasn’t used to rumors and people invading his privacy, but he surely would listen to you, wouldn’t he? You needed that comfort.

You sent him a text and almost dropped your phone when he was calling no more than a minute later.

“Hello? Did something happen?” His voice was calm and composed, and to be fair, you preferred this over worried tone. His calmness gave you a sense of grounding.

“How did you know?” you asked, your voice meek.

“You’re not one for over the phone conversations,” he teased, just lightly; that you could accept.

“Well… my coworkers, they didn’t end up liking the lipstick, but… it’s not so simple. Someone took a picture of us together yesterday, and now they won’t to talk to me…”

You were met with silence lasting a good moment.

“… And I assume you don’t feel good about this,” he sighed, though not in a feeling of you being a bother.

“No, I… I don’t want them to be mad at me for something innocent.”

“Understood. I’ll see what I can do,” he said firmly, and not giving you time to ask for details, he ended the phone call. His tone of voice threw you off, not expecting him to take the problem so seriously.

It was an hour later when the picture mysteriously (or not) had disappeared from the internet, making you exhale in relief. Hopefully, no copies will be spread… the advanced technologies in Luofu should make it unlikely.

^ྀི

Going back to work didn’t give you much breathing space, unfortunately. The picture might have been erased, however the resentment wasn’t. If anything, rumors added to the pile of hate. The network of others telling each other about more than once seeing you with general has been created. It was going as far as accusing you of dating or being a psycho fan their leader just took pity upon. You didn’t even try to defend yourself by saying you’re friends, knowing they’ll think what they want.

You tried to get through the first days of their anger, hoping it will double down eventually—but it only grew in power. You were no longer informed about important meetings enough to sabotage your work, no greetings were said and you were openly insulted just few steps away. Going to your supervisor to make a report resulted in nothing more but a dry talk about friendly work environment your colleagues have quickly dismissed.

^ྀི

Jing Yuan has quickly noticed your lack of appearance in the city, including your heavy expression whenever you left the work. Yes, he did follow you sometimes, curious of your daily routine, observing anything worth memorizing to later use in making you smile. He wouldn’t describe it as stalking if he was protecting you and getting to know you, and he wasn’t planning on hurting you.

This time, there was nothing noticeable to put you in a good mood. Something clearly has happened for you to walk only from home to work and back, all depressed.

The conclusion he had to come to was simple, leading him to the photo related incident. While he had made sure the photo was removed immediately, he assumed your workplace remained unpleasant, and that wouldn’t do; especially when you no longer were wearing his gift, a silent mark he’s left on you.

After days of letting you mope around, not wanting to seem suspicious by coming to you at first day of your gloominess, he finally had“accidentally” ran into you.

“There you are, my friend,” he said in relief, after approaching you, “where have you disappeared to?”

Yoy stopped in tracks when seeing your crush. Normally, you’d be elated to see him again, but this time a sense of guilt filled you. If your surroundings told you you’re undeserving of the presence of such greatness, a golden child of Luofu, you were bound to believe them eventually. You armored yourself with a sense of defensiveness, associating Jing Yuan with more material to be bullied about if someone sees you with him again. “It’s nothing, general. I’ve just been stressed out with work lately. Please excuse me,” you tried to sound serious, and turned around to leave, only for a hand to grab onto your bicep.

“Don’t cut me off like this. I want to know what happened. Will you let me hear you?”

How could you say no to such a soft plea?

^ྀི

Where you were taken to was a similar building of his house, one you came mostly to nurture his garden and feed his cat when the owner is absent. Despite your protests, because wouldn’t it make the rumors worse if someone could notice you two coming here? The only comfort was in you and Jing Yuan having used a private starskiff.

The warmth of his place and gesture made you feel out of place, undeserving, when he was putting you on his favorite armchair and handing you a tea not as warm compared to him—and it was almost boiling hot.

Then he kneeled in front of you on one knee, getting down to your level to not overwhelm you with his height. He was so sweet you could cry.

“So what’s been bothering my dear friend?” Jing yuan inquired, his voice more serious than usual but not lacking its silky comfort it typically carried. And when he was so lovely with you, it was hard to lie to him. You’ve never been a good liar but with him especially.

Your hands rubbed together as you spoke, in tone quiet enough to not doubt your exhaustion, “Do you remember the picture thing? Despite you taking down the photo, my colleagues started to get back at me… in various ways.”

“What ways?” his voice grew a tone lower, making you shudder from its intensity. Your hand was placed in his on your lap, his fingers skimming over your racing pulse. The closeness felt unreal and yet so human.

Having finally explained the shaming behaviour you’ve received, he let your words sink in with a pensive gaze.

“So you are being harassed over your coworkers, because they are jealous about our friendship. And nothing you’ve tried worked in stopping the backslash…” His hand tightened.

You nodded, sensing Jing Yuan was tad more worse at hiding his anger today. He looked at your hand covered in tremors of anxiety, and up at your vulnerable face. “I think you should quit and find a more suitable workplace.”

Your eyes widened, your mouth opening in surprise. “General, I can’t just change jobs!” you protested, almost mad at his audacity. You’ve been at this office for years and knew finding another position would be difficult.

Jing Yuan didn’t become offended, and patted your hand with his before letting it go. “It’s not as bad as you think it is. I wouldn’t leave you high and dry.” You still looked unsure. “But what are you even proposing?”

“Perhaps, you should work for our Seat of Divine Foresight.”

“…You’ve gotta be kidding me, general Jing Yuan,” you had to say his name too, in a scolding manner, making him laugh at your sudden bluntness. “I’m not. I believe you have skill enough to be working at our office.”

You weren’t so sure if you do, but you knew he didn’t make his words empty when it came to business. However, there were still arguments against. “It’s not just that… isn’t this a form of nepotism? Corruption?” you scolded further.

“Now, now,” he chuckled, “If it was anyone else recruiting friends, others would for sure suspect that. But my subordinates are well aware I don’t do favoritism like this, that it’s not about friendships.” At least when it came to anyone who’s not you. “I recruit people worth of our time. You’ve been good with money transfers and I think you’ll do well with us too.”

“Still…” you murmured, getting lost in your head. You might change your workplace, but what if you make a mistake? Maybe people here would be even worse, considering Divine Seat is no place for joking around; maybe you’d not hold up and fail. You had a lot to gamble.

“Look at this from the other perspective. You might feel like you’re losing something, but don’t you think all that bullying will eventually catch up with you it hits you so hard you’ll have no choice but to leave? Do you think your wellbeing is not worth taking that risk?” You were well aware your surroundings were meant to eat you completely at some point, yet what you were used to was holding you back. You didn’t like changes, you didn’t like risks and you didn’t like unknown.

Stuck in this dilemma, feeling as if both options given were terrible, your eyes welled up with tears; tears that additionally burned you with shame if you had to cry in front of him. But you were safe here and he sighed softly, because he then pulled you into embrace, one you didn’t reject. Jing Yuan held you so tightly, and rubbed your back strongly, that you felt anchored in this cage.

Sobbing into his chest, you didn’t notice the look of delight that could have worried you if seen. To hold you in his arms was a gift more precious than another applause and success, your presence expanding in his living room, and he had gone mad at the idea of other cruel being hurting you so much you doubted yourself. But you doubting yourself came with these benefits too… your growing dependence was you coming a step closer to him and step further from leaving; however, he had to be careful to not break you with exposure to your insecurities.

Alas, you had no choice but to be his. He was no fool to your crush on him, and he found it very endearing and tasty, only has been taking it slow to make sure you grow attached enough first. Once you two can be called lovers you and him would rest easily. You, with no more doubt, and he, with you.

You weren’t a child to be coddled, he knew he wasn’t making your mental situation much better, but would a lamb like you ever get better anyway? Even he didn’t have that much faith in you.

^ྀི

Leaving your previous employer was not free of biting comments, both from ex-coworkers and the boss herself. You were painted as ungrateful and transitioning into your new position tasted bitter… until it didn’t, especially when they had no choice but to shut up when realized where did you work now. Of course, first few weeks were harsh, with your superior at Divine Foresight expecting you to prove yourself and match unspoken expectation given by Jing Yuan’s recommendation… something you surprisingly didn’t mind and managed in achieving. You were taken advantage of by your past colleagues but when push finally comes to shove, even you snapped done of the cruelties and wanted to prove yourself for your sake too.

Jing Yuan was happy for you, yet unfortunately the happiness was fleeting when he’s started to hear cheery and supportive words towards one of the knights being known to blush and talk about you positively behind your back. He could have been comforted by the fact you clearly have feelings for him; but the problem was different—he didn’t want others to assume you’re free for the taking. He had put you to work in the same building with him to have you close under his controlling his eyes and thankful, not desired.

Letting you work here, away from toxic environments, you were starting to blossom and while he felt warm at seeing your joy, he was not happy by the consequence of it—you being noticed by others.

He wanted to wait a bit longer, but it seemed the time was urging him to take a next step now.

It was during lunchtime when he sought you out in your little office, all happily munching on your food. “Ah, gen—, I mean, Jing Yuan,” you quickly corrected, laughing nervously at your own mistake. “What brings you here?”

He smiled in amusement, thinking of how good you are for him to be saying his name. “I’m glad you remembered the only proper structure. I just have one thing to ask of you?”

“Yes, whatever you want,” you said with a smile, not knowing the power of your words. You shouldn’t be offering so much when he wanted to grab it all.

“Will you let me take you out on a date?”

You almost choked on your buns, not expecting the fantasy you’ve been having for months to come true. Is this true, did he actually want to date you? He hasn’t dated anyone in years (if not centuries), and was suddenly wanting to mingle with no one other than you. He could have had anyone and he chose you. This felt like a delusional dream.

“A-a date?” you asked in disbelief you didn’t hide.

He shook his head, feigning disappointment. “Why is it so shocking? I thought you and I get along well, and that I’ve made it clear how much I appreciate you.” To make you feel even nearer a heart attack, he came closer and grabbed your hand from your desk, leaning down to press a gentle chivalrous kiss on it. He enjoyed the way your breath hitched and your hand twitched, you surely flustered and yet almost in love.

Jing Yuan looked up at you, forcing out the most soft eyes he could give you, waiting to bend you to his will and say yes.

“Yes, Jing Yuan,” you replied after you almost vomited your heart out from how hard it was beating, and he kissed your palm again in gratitude.

“Can I ask you for one more thing?” he said more intensely.

You nodded, waiting. “Will you wear that lipstick I got you weeks ago? I know the memories behind it were unpleasant, however I want you to embrace it once again, after you’ve started over.”

He saw your hesitation but knew you’d do it for him.

^ྀི

The week leading to your date on Saturday, you’ve been nothing but anticipating. Every second you spend not working—not that you could focus on work much—was with you planning and plotting. You wanted to look perfect and act perfect but not enough to look unnatural. You felt as if Jing Yuan would like you regardless of what you do at the date, but this was your first date with him and you couldn’t disappoint your hopefully future lover.

No, you had to have him. For all the things you’ve lost in your life, you couldn’t let him get away. The most important thing to you was him and your heart would break if you’re not with him.

Seems he’s gotten you attached enough.

You were waiting for him to pick you up from under your house, wearing best clothes you could have found in your closet, and that lipstick you were asked for.

When you finally saw your date on a horizon, he seemed to immediately smile wide when seeing you all dressed up for him, making you feel relief and flutter in your stomach. Even more when he looked so handsome—his outfit was simple, black pants and white shirt, regardless sufficiently good looking you knew you’d be envied again.

“Oh, there goes my beautiful date,” he immediately complimented when standing just few steps away from you, eying you up and down and the most at your lips—something satisfied appeared in his eyes, happy to have his mark back on you.

You, meanwhile, though you’re going to pass out from being called that. Only now you truly realized how much he must have liked you, to break the spell of being single and chase you all these weeks. You wondered how long had your crush been reciprocated for, and if he was aware of your feelings. Probably yes.

“And who’s saying that… you look nothing but handsome, Jing Yuan,” you said honestly, making him look oddly shy. A little redness on his cheek, his eyes widening and him gulping—you were unused to witnessing him like this, but you wanted to kiss him so badly to spread redness elsewhere.

“You know how to fluster an old man…” he muttered, turning his head to the side with a smile and hiding his eyes covered under his fringe. Now it was you being the confident one, feeling like provoking his embarrassment further. “Old or not, I think Jing Yuan is going to always look good,” you said cheekily.

His hand twitched and he had to tighten it into a palm to not pounce on you right here on the spot. When did you get so provocative, skilled in making him a fool like this?

“Let’s go before you put me in the hospital, you naughty thing,” he joked and grasped your hand.

And the entire day you’ve spent with Jing Yuan was nothing but wonderful. Dragged between different parts of Luofu he wanted you to see in case you didn’t, occasionally buying you food or trinket to try (and refusing to let you pay), making you laugh and making himself to want to fondle your face each time you were precious again…

…besides stealing glances onto your lips. He hoped that by the end of the day, you’ll let him finally kiss you.

“Jing Yuan, do you think Luofu will ever change?” you asked curiously after noticing the beautiful sunset to lead you into a beautiful ending. You hand was holding onto his, and the other onto cotton candy you’ve been staining with your lipstick.

He pondered over your question, before answering. “Outsiders perhaps like to abbreviate the Xianzhou Luofu as just Xianzhou l, but… the Luofu is not the Xianzhou. The Luofu is the Luofu, no more, no less. As long as we remain, so will our Luofu.”

“You’re right. Hopefully it shines bright for the eternity.”

^ྀི

When the rendezvous was nearing completion, you couldn’t feel any more sad. So anxious at the begging was for nothing as you now were desperate for more of Jing Yuan’s blissful presence. Walking through empty docks with him, you sighed. He noticed your troubled expression, smiling a little.

“What’s wrong? Do you miss me already?” he teased, making you grumble. “No… well, yes,” you admitted stubbornly. “I don’t want our date to end.”

Did you think he wanted this to end either? “I wouldn’t worry so much. After all, I’d dare to say we’re meant to go on another date, don’t you think? And…” Jing Yuan gently turned you around to face him, pressing you against the fence separating city and the sea. You froze, your heart drumming up to your ears, wondering if he’s going to make your recent nightly dreams come true.

He leaned in closer. “… perhaps I can leave something comforting so our departure is not as dreadful.” He judged your expression, seeing how eager you are. “Will you let me kiss you, my precious crane?” Your eyes trembled, so vulnerable and moved by the call of your beloved, and you had to pant out “yes”.

When Jing Yuan finally smoothed your lips with his, his hand gently wandered around your waist; the other holding against the railing and trapping you like this, not willing to let any other soul to witness this sacred act. Your eyes lingered closed, but his were slightly opened and drinking in your relieved face. The lips moved gently, as if afraid to push and startle you, head tilted to the side and neck bent to reach your shorter body. Your hands rested shyly on his shoulders.

Your petals were tasting sweet from the cotton candy and he was sure he was spreading your lipstick around, finding lather rather rewarding. If he could, he’d find a way to make sure that lipstick stays messed up for the rest of your life as a proof of him having been there.

As the kiss ended, you looked so dazed by the warm pleasure his lips have brought you, and you questioned your existence. Your object of adoration had actually kissed and wanted you, and you felt dizzy by his scent and big hands.

“Was that good for our first time?” You nodded, holding onto him calling it a first time signaling many more. “Yes, but we can always master it… if you wish to kiss me more,” you tried to joke.

“Oh, is that a flirt I’m hearing?” he teased, making you even more dazed. “Then please let me flirt with you some too.”

His hand moved up to your face. “You look even more spectacular when you are left breathless by me—” His poetry was interrupted by the sudden cough, his mouth filling with tart taste, and his cough made you panic. “What’s wrong?”

He laughed, trying to reassure you. “Nah, it’s nothing. I just got your lipstick in my mouth and it tastes chemical.”

You snickered, “It’s your fault. You asked me to wear it.”

“Guilty as charged.” Jing Yuan kissed you again to shut down more of your pokes expressing his vulnerabilities.

^ྀི

“You are disgusting, general!” Yanqing accused when he saw his teacher return. The teacher laughed but appeared confused. “What are you referring to, child?”

“I’m not a child, especially when I know what you did! Look in the mirror, you have lipstick all over your lips!! Don’t tell me…” he said almost in horror, “it was them.”

Now he understood what the young boy meant, yet he didn’t feel bad about being caught. “And so what if it was them? It’s not as if you wouldn’t want them closer to us.”

“You both are still disgusting to be doing this!”

“Just wait until you’re older, Yanqing. You’ll find a person to kiss to,” he teased, chuckling when seeing Yanqing walk away with another portion of disgust, muttering “as if.”

When he was finally left alone, he looked into the mirror. There was pigment over his lips like said, going outside the contour, and he felt a wave of ownership over you. That lipstick mark was enough evidence of finally having you in a place where you should be.

^ྀི

Next months have passed in nothing but a gentle honeymoon phase, even convincing you to move to Jing Yuan’s nest.

The start of your relationship had raised some controversy throughout the Luofu, until it was turned into a trend and suddenly you two were ‘relationship goals’ (Jing Yuan had no clue what this meant when you tried to explain it. He was too old for social media, and scowled when you laughed at his archaic oblivion.) He understood only that people were cheering for you and trying to catch every detail of your perfect looking relationship. You did make their general look happy and that’s all that mattered, besides the new source of excitement for them and for Tingyun to be taking pictures to sell.

You were too busy being spoiled and in love to care too much, especially too much to notice you were falling into his grasp he didn’t expect you to be ever escape from.

You were a prisoner of his chess games too, making you whine. “Jing Yuan, why are we even doing this? You know I’m born centuries too late to ever win against you.”

Your words got him pouting like a child on the other side of the table. “My dear, do you truly believe Xianzhou starchess is only about winning? It’s an exercise of mind and logic, fun, and… a way of spending time with your beloved,” he said the last part with accentuated press, sparking trembling flush in your chest.

And you were weak against him. “Maybe you’re right… still, I’m just a fawn learning to walk when it comes to our games…”

“And that’s nothing you need to worry about.” His hand grabbed yours across the chessboard. “I’ll train you until you can at least beat Yanqing.” You scoffed, “I don’t think he’d talk to me ever again if I’d kill his pride like this.”

Jing Yuan grinned like a lion, excited by your banter, before he was standing up and walking towards you on the floor pillow, making you swallow at his intensity. Next thing you knew you were pinned down to the floor, wriggling in heat under him, your mind screaming to let him have you. “I don’t think my young apprentice can ever truly hate you, he’s rather too desperate to keep inviting you to help him find the best sword and asking you to scold me when I’m too lazy… and I don’t think I’m much resistant to you either, beloved.”

As he kissed you with starvation, ignoring tartness of your sacred lipstick in exchange of possessively spreading himself around your lips he marked with color, he wondered if you’ll ever know the truth. Would you hate him or accept him if you were to know he was a selfish, nasty man; just not cruel enough to deny you of your freedom and happiness, as long as he manages to keep you around? If you don’t choose to fly away from the nest of his house and Luofu, he can keep making you this pretty chirpy bird you currently were.

He didn’t want to put you in a gilded cage, after all… if he hadn’t done so in some extent already—your happiness had been made to be dependent on his presence.

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