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tumblr friendships can be the purest form of friendship bc it's like. hey i like you based on your shitty vibe and concerning ventposts and that weird sex thing we're both into. raw dogging friendship

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I know, probably therapy is the only place to talk about this, but... How do you know if it’s true paranoia or “just” another depressive episode creeping up, combined with loss of reality. I’m on my on my way to an appointment and still don’t know how to put this w/o sounding stupid (especially in current times)

Apart from that, it’s just scary as hell, and I’ve never been so scared of losing people over it. And I don't even know if they realize it. Or if I’m even important to them anymore.

(can’t believe I ever thought of studying psychology.)

(Ik this is much and I really don’t expect an answer to this. It’s just... too much right now.)

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Would’ve never thought I’d watch this, but just finished episode 2 and I think @eddie-roo is right! Also thx for the tw-list – as one who isn’t very aware of their own triggers and thus forgets to share (all of) them sometimes, it’s more than helpful! So if you start watching – be careful!

I just finished Cassandra and it’s one of the greatest series I’ve watched recently. You should give it a try.

It’s about a family that moves to an old, very early smart house from the 70’s in a small German town. The house is managed by an “artificial” intelligence called Cassandra which seems far too advanced for its age. She really wants to be a part of this new family and she will do whatever it takes to make it so. There’s so much manipulation, gaslighting and emotional abuse. It’s great. There’s also a teen gay romance subplot! And it’s great! Thought there is homophobia. The family is also mixed black and white I think (though maybe the mom wasn’t white, but idk, she looked tan but idk if she was supposed to be any sort of POC or if the actress is of color).

It’s a great show and you should see it. I wish it had an epilogue because it left a lot of loose unresolved ends, but the series is great as it is.

Content warnings bellow the cut!

I will put the less spoilery ones first and I’ll tell you the more spoilery ones later.

Manipulation, gaslighting and emotional abuse

Child abuse

Child endangerment

Non lethal physical violence

Lethal physical violence

Guns

Knives

Blood

Dead bodies

Mentions of suicide

Substance abuse

Fire (as in buildings catching on fire)

Hostage situations

Car accidents

Terminal diseases

Internalized homophobia and external homophobia

Ableism

Creepy smiles

Cheating

Spoiler zone!

Body horror

Unsupervised children in pool

Children inside ovens

Children being shot

Baby stroller being thrown off stairs

Dead bodies of children

Being trapped in small spaces

Psych wards being dismissive

Severed limbs

Children getting kicked out of their home

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Reblog to bonk your mutuals on the head every time they start thinking negatively about themselves

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Somewhat a year since diagnosis (—well, roughly a year, yeah, precicly 4 month since I dared to ask, if I remember past-test-convo correctly 🫣😅)

And still, I find myself unsure at times whether my black-hole moments of memory lapse [“Did we really do xy?”] are just symptoms of ADHD or signs of The Black Dog™ (aka depression). It’s like I'm living in my own version of a Changing Channels Episode: You’re part of the show, but you don’t see the ball-kick coming.

Anyone here who can tell me? 😅

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am i having a brain bleed are people seriously considering NOVEL LENGTH FICS as small one shots now what is happening

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You sit there dealing w/ two beating hearts in your chest.

One saying: Each human deserves fairness & respect. Even the ones you don’t like. While the other can’t stop wondering: “How’s that supposed to work?”

Or: What the process of reframing “If they don’t like you it’s OK for them to treat you like dirt. So why still trying?” can look like.

And it’s shitty. Because even though you don’t act on it most times (toward others that means) you took it to heart, crept up to you like venom.

They deserve it. Respect. But you don’t.

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I did some doodling and thought it’d be nice to send out a late Valentine’s greeting to my (online) friends and mutuals. ’cause why not for friends, right?

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“Sex w/o emotional connection, hence most ONS and stuff, gives me nothing, but if my partner wants to have sex with others, here you go. Just tell me first. No details, no lies.. Just tell me.”

Tell me you’re demi w/o telling me you’re demi, I guess.

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My thoughts are w/ Munich! And I hope that someday media can talk about this w/o discussing toleration or residence permit of people. Refugees ain’t the problem! So ‘reducing quantity’ in a broken system isn’t the answer to save lives!

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Oh my gosh 🥰🥺 tysm, whoever you are – made my day!

@li-nox

You received a candygram from A Secret Admirer ! We’ve also included this Buck and The Beast Berry Punch with your candygram. ♡

A sweet treat for a sweet person! 💕

Enjoy! Happy Valentine's Day!❤️

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You Made Us Whole

“Okay, that’s enough...” Tommy still stares down the dark, deserted street in front of his house, blinking, as Eddie stands in the middle of the hallway, pointing at him with an outstretched finger. His face is half in shadow, only his form visible in the dim light of the hallway lamps. The front door closes with a soft click.

“You son of a bitch,” Eddie’s voice shakes with every word, and Tommy doesn’t dare move under his powerful gaze. “Do you have any idea how many scones I’ve had in the last few weeks? Dozens. Because Buck. Can’t. Stop. Baking. And I stopped counting how many times we’ve watched Love, Actually,”

“Edmundo-“

“Nah-uh,” Eddie cuts in, stepping close to Tommy until their shoes almost touch. “You shut up and listen! And don’t even think about running off again just because things are getting intense,” he says, his tone firm. Tommy swallows hard; his mouth feels dry, and his heart is pounding so fast he can barely nod.

“Six months,” Eddie hisses, tapping his finger on Tommy’s chest. “Six months of being the happiest I’ve ever seen Buck. Four months of thinking I’m actually allowed to settle down and fucking live... And you break up with him, with us, because he impulsively wanted us move in together?! Nah-uh, I’m not done here!”

Baffled, Tommy closes his mouth again and remains silent. Eddie looks at him suspiciously for a moment, then takes a step back and smooths his shirt with demonstrative concentration. When he lifts his head again, his gaze is gentle.

“Just tell me why, Tommy...” His voice is timid, the question hanging over him like the sword of Damocles. An invisible threat that makes Tommy’s heart contract painfully at the mere thought of the last few months.

“It’s better that way,” he answers, and even to his own ears, the words ring hollow. “You don’t need me anymore.” The silence falling between them is almost palpable, and the pensive look Eddie gives him is unbearable for Tommy.

“I see,” Eddie finally sighs, and suddenly all posture is gone. With shoulders slumped and head bowed, he pushes past Tommy toward the door. Right in front of it, Eddie pauses again. “He really liked himself for the first time in years, Tom,” he mumbles, and Tommy wants to cover his ears, block him out. But all he does is stare at the well-worn patch of parquet floor where Eddie had just stood.

“He’s got you,” Tommy argues, trying to sound tough but really just scared to back down. He hears Eddie inhale sharply, and for a few agonizing, bittersweet seconds there’s silence. Just when Tommy thinks Eddie might finally turn and leave, he utters the very words Tommy has dreaded since the three of them broke up.

“Things just aren’t the same when someone’s missing,” Eddie murmurs and Tommy hears him turn the doorknob. “What we had was real, Thomas. I wish you could see that. We truly loved you, y’know. We still do.”

A chilly gust of wind sweeps over him, making Tommy shiver. “Take care,” he hears before the muted footsteps fade away, followed by a soft click. Once again, he finds himself alone. “Take care. I love you too,” he whispers into the empty air.

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Are we friends?

Not to offend: But are we actual friends?

Or am I just holding on to a fleeting idea to not feel even lonelier?

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Oh fuck of brain! It’s: “reframing, n. a process of reconceptualizing a problem by seeing it from a different perspective.” not [empty 🍃༄ space].

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We don’t need Google Calendar to know things or celebrate. We don’t need them to remind us. We will remind them.

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It’s funny when you now know nothing bad can happen and you continue to sabotage yourself anyway

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Maybe politicians should watch Ghosts US. If a thousand-year-old Viking and an early 2000s stockbroker support LGBTQ, so can they.